/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Tl;dr

>>19209863
>wagie covers himself in snot because he has to actually do some work
You are a true hero

>>19209863
how morbidly obese are we talking? 400 pounds?
what about the kids? what did they get?

>>19209875
>because he has to actually do some work
No, it was because she was a rude, entitled BITCH that mistreated the waitress and myself while ordering something that was not in the fucking menu.

>>19209877
Like 300-350 I believe, hard to tell. The kids had mac n cheese, I would never mess with their food, they were not at fault for having a stupid, toxic bitch for a mother.

>>19209863
I'll take things that never happened for 500$ Alex

>>19209897
I always feel sorry for the ones that are already obese at a young age because their parents feed them the same trash that they eat. just two hours ago I saw a morbidly obese mom walking down the street with her son who looked like he could barely breath

>>19209909
>I'll take things that never happened
I assure you, if you ever mistreat staff at a small restaurant, they WILL mess with your food, and rightfuly so!

>>19209910
Yeah, it is sickening. Obese people should have their children taken away by CPS if their children reaches child obesity.

>>19209863
based if true

And then everybody burst into treats. The original poster was deafened by the roar of applause. A strong Black Trans Queen came out and gave Opie a consensual blowjob. Seventeen white doves descended upon Olpee's head bearing a crown of whitest gold. A mermaid was born. All at once every single pedophile suffered a wracking seizure and died in agony. All because of Owlpiss' heroic actions against an old white lady who didn't want to eat a victim of industry.

>>19209932
>against an old white lady who didn't want to eat a victim of industry.
No, it is because she treated our elderly waitress like trash, to the point she was crying.

She is the kind of sweet old lady waitress that you would find in a family restaurant in the 50s serving you apple pie and calling you sweetie.

She always treats everybody very well, is gentle and polite. To harass and verbally abuse someone like that who cannot even defend herself is sick and disgusting.

>>19209945
Does she dress up like a whore too? Ya know, to really sell that 50s look?

>>19209932
Here comes the obnoxious vegan, white knighting for a literal obese karen, simply because she wanted vegetarian food.

>>19209954
We all wear uniforms.

>>19209873
pretty much

These are instantly "didn't happen"-tier

>>19209863
yup totally happened, and if it did happen, the bitch deserved her snot hash burger

>>19209961
The worst part is that I am perfectly find with making substitutions on the food we have on our menu to accomodate for vegetarians and vegans, all she had to do was ask.

Instead she screamed like a fucking banshee and harassed an old lady who was just trying to do her job.

>>19209961
And here's the sexless chud waking up after noon to hate wank to a story that didn't happen about a literal obese karen simply because she has imaginary boobs and still won't touch him

>>19209980
Projecting quite a bit there, mate.

>>19209863
>claim to work in the food industry
>reading and writing food words all day long
>unable to spell the word "burger"

>>19209998
Autocorrect is a bitch while phone posting.

>>19209863
I once made some special brownies with weed and donated them to the church bake sale.

>>19209863
Did she ever return?

>>19210393
Not during my shift at least.

>own cafe
>sadist, in the most traditional way
>hire young inexperienced girls under the pretense that they will learn on the job
>break them with all different methods I can imagine while being somewhat subtle about it
>one girl made a pretty bad cappuchino so I had her redo it three times like some michelin chef
>she doesnt know better and tries her best
>after she poured out the second one she was trembling quite visibly I leaned into her to show the correct technique while fully torqued
>make the whole drink while my boner is poking her between the cheeks of her leggings and she is shaking on the verge of crying
I have spent years of my life to set everything up to live this life, and it is perfect

>>19209863
>I did something disgusting instead of just telling her to leave
kys

>>19210483
I am not ALLOWED to tell customers to leave, according to my boss.

>>19210476
based if true

>>19209999
CHECKED

>>19210476
I am interested, tell us more!

>>19210476
>coffee shop owners are nonces
we already knew

>>19210476
>make the whole drink while my boner is poking her between the cheeks of her leggings and she is shaking on the verge of crying

>>19210476
yeah. that’s enough /ck/ for one day.

>>19210476
KEK. Still more believable than OP's post.

>>19210653
Fuck you, that guy deserves an award!

fucking with customers food is nigger tier no matter what kys OP
>>19210476
based if true

>>19209863
If you fuck with people's food then you're a pussy. If you had any nuts you would have just kicked her out.
>>19210476
This is the criminal OP should strive to be instead

>>19210704
>If you had any nuts you would have just kicked her out
My boss does not allow me to, I would just get fired, so instead I delivered proper punishment the best way I could.

>>19210676
>fucking with customers food is nigger tier no matter what kys OP
Yeah, I agree, which is why I consider it a food sin, the theme of the thread. I am not proud of it, but it is what I did.

>>19210704
>This is the criminal OP should strive to be instead
Nothing criminal about it, he was just training his employee. And yes, he is based as fuck, someday I will own my own business and strive to he as based as he is!

>>19210730
fair enough my old chef wiped a chicken breast all over his cock and balls before sending it down to this fat demon who eventually got the b& hammer when i took over the place
i got assmad at him but such is life

>>19209863
Did you cum in the kids food, too?

>>19209914
>and rightfuly so!
dog I get that you're lashing out for feeling wronged, and you think these rude people need to be punished. But deliberately poisoning someone's food and/or putting bodily fluids in them, as a form of justice, is extremely fucked up. That's under the category of cruel and unusual punishment that we abandoned centuries ago.

If you think people should suffer food poisoning or unknowingly ingest Anon's bodily fluids as a form of punishment, that's cool, just be aware your sense of justice is totally fucked up and you're mentally about 6. Not to mention the bitch probably didnt even learn her lesson

>>19210767
This. My younger step sister just got food poisoning the other day, and now I'm taking days off work to care for a sharting, projectile vomiting teenager. Stop poisoining innocent people because you hate the job you applied for. Even if the person you're serving is an r/Karen, you do realize you could be potentially poisoning their innocent children right?

>>19209863
>why didnt the waitress tell her to leave the resturant when she started screaming?

>>19210730
>Nothing criminal about it
He said he rubbed his dick on her, p sure that's sexual assault

>>19210749
Glad you took over, you seem like a reasonable boss.

>>19210757
>Did you cum in the kids food, too?
Read>>19209897
>The kids had mac n cheese, I would never mess with their food, they were not at fault for having a stupid, toxic bitch for a mother.
>>19210767
Yeah, I get it, I was young and stupid back in those days.

>>19210778
Yeah, I do regret it, but I was quite a fucktard in those days. Did nothing to the children's food, read above.

>>19210780
Boss is a fucking boomer who will not allow us to, under the premise that "the client is always right".

>>19210800
The joke just went flying by over your head, huh?

>>19210476
Can't wait until you go out of business and your shop becomes a starbucks.

>>19210908
What makes you presume that he does not own a starbucks?

>>19209999
autocorrect doesn't misspell words for you

>>19209863
>customer orders food
>>t-this will show them!
>proceed to commit felony
>post on /ck/ - food & cooking for validation
>nobody sides with me

>>19210767
>just be aware your sense of justice is totally fucked up
I love how this world is constantly applying subjective things as if they're objective. It's not wonder it's so fucked up and people say even bugs have "rights" these days. Don't @ me.

>>19210505
I dont post too much, call it paranoia, but i drop by every now and then

>>19210908
Business is booming, and the staff doesnt hate me nearly as much as you would expect

>>19211632
That depends, if you are ESL it might, as some countries say burguer instead of burger.

>>19211649
>nobody sides with me
Plenty of people sided with OP, which is somehow more worrisome than just the fact he did it.

>>19211649
>I have a wrong opinion and therefore do not side with OP, that means nobody sides with him
Alright special needs child. I, for one, side with OP.
>>19209932
The fact that a story like this is unbelievable to you tells me more about you than the story tells about OP. I fuck with people who wrong me all the time. Just because you imagine what that would feel like but never find the balls to follow through doesn't mean other people don't.

>>19209863
I cook cheesesoup with ground beef for my friends every christmas. Some of them are vegetarians, so I just put in more spring onions and leave out the beef. No biggie.
Once I accidently switched over the ladle from one soup into the other. I just hoped they wouldn't notice and they didn't. Foodwise my biggest sin I guess. Not even that bad.

>>19210778
God this situation sounds so hot

>>19212546
>I cook cheesesoup with ground beef for my friends every christmas. Some of them are vegetarians, so I just put in more spring onions and leave out the beef. No biggie.
Exactly, we chefs do not normally care about doing substitutions like that, it is fine! What we DO care is when you grossly harass the waitress taking your order and the rest of the staff!

>>19210767
You sound like someone who frequently abuses staff at restaurants, or at the very least is related to someone who does.

>>19209863
When I was a kid, there was this kid at school that was pretty fucking annoying. We found out he had peanut allergy one day, so me and the rest of the boys in our class begun spreading out bits of peanut EVERYWHERE in class, hoping he would touch one and get bloated so we could laugh at him.

It worked, but the reaction was far more severe than any of us could have predicted, the kid nearly suffocated as his throat closed up from the swelling.

Feels bad, I regret it to this day, he may have been annoying but did not deserve to nearly die over it.

>>19213503
You should've giving him a blowjob as an apology.

I had sex with my food before marriage

>>19213514
That is gay, stop projecting your fetishes on other people, specially on a blue board!

>>19213527
I will not. Now go give him a blowjob. Even the balance of justice with your mouth.

>>19213534
/lgbt/ is that way

>>19213543
Why did you point to your house?

>>19213545
Cute, but how about you confess to a food sin instead of being such a faggot?

>>19213553
I mix cool whip with peanut butter for a quick, white trash snack and it tastes really good. Now go be that poor man's personal vacuum.

>>19213559
Huh, I did figure you were white trash, from your obssession on giving blowjobs to other men.

>>19210767
>Not to mention the bitch probably didnt even learn her lesson
This is the most important bit. It doesn't solve the problem in OPs story.

>>19213583
Least I didn't nearly kill someone you little dirt devil you.

>>19209863
I never deliberately fucked with anyone's food, but one time
>be 18
>summer gig at a corporate caterer
>working out hard, losing weight, too skinny for clothes
>realize there's no way to keep up calorically with work without eating huge lunches
>most calorically dense thing we have are veggie burgers which are mostly fat
>"Anon, take your break in 15"
>veggie burgers are frozen
>need to cook one fast
>thaw veggie burger in beef pan, soaked in jus
>put it on the grill, gonna eat a chicken breast, hamburger and jus veggie triple-decker
>stomach grumbling just thinking about it
>lady comes up, asks for a veggie burger
>I tell her it'll take a few minutes, I have to thaw one out for her
>"Just give me that veggie burger, it's ready"
>"I'm afraid, uh, that's for someone else"
>"Give it to me anyway"
>"No it's for someone else"
>"I AM THE HOST OF THIS PARTY IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME THAT VEGGIE BURGER I WILL HAVE YOU FIRED"
>"Uh, OK, fine take your veggie burger" (that is totally saturated with beef fat and juices)
>start over, now I only have 15 minutes left for lunch
>eat my triple-decker with cheese and mayo
>just enough time to get some tea before going back to the grill
>host lady comes up to me so happy
>"Anon I'm sorry I got upset with you, I was very hungry. But I had to tell you, that was the best veggie burger I have ever had in my life, I just told your boss you did great."
>boss comes by to tell me he's impressed by how I handled that bitch
>I told him she ate my beefy veg patty
>He laughs and puts me on his schedule for the rest of the summer, slips me beers every event
>Fun times ensue

>>19213586
Yeah, it does nothing but give the staff a sense of vengeance.

>>19213587
That we know of.

>>19213596
The guy didn't specify no teeth, so it's fault, really.

>>19213593
Now THIS is a great story!

>>19213602
>The guy didn't specify no teeth, so it's fault, really.
>it's fault, really
Eeeew, you were blowing a tranny? What is wrong with you!!!!

>>19213629
>tranny
Come on dude, your mother's not that ugly.

>>19213632
Neither does she have a dick for you to suck, unlike your "girlfriend".

>>19213633
>Neither does she have a dick for you to suck
That we know of.

>>19213503
I once did something similar, except it was with shrimp.

>>19209863
I used to work in a fried chicken on the bucket kind of restaurant.

Owner would make us use bleach mixed with alcohol to remove the expiration date marked on the bags the chicken marinated in, and then use a marker to write a new expiration date 1 month ahead, this way he could still sell the chicken and avoid getting caught by health inspectors.

Place closed down a few months after I got another job and left, after several people got hospitalized with food poison.

>>19209863
Waitress was in the wrong.

>>19213942
>Waitress was in the wrong
You know what, I will entertain that thought...

Explain to us how she was in the wrong, please!

>>19209863
I work as a bartender at a beachside cocktail bar, whenever I see an obnoxious tourist acting up or harassing our staff I make a point to serve their drink in a dirty glass.

>>19211632
It is when you're canadian and your phone constantly resets to french keyboard settings.

>>19209897
Contaminating their food is second-place, you should have told that bitch to leave.

>>19214117
Read the thread, boss does not allow OP to do so.

>>19213503
freaks and geeks episode

>>19214131
Go above his head and do it anyway, and if the boss complains threaten to quit because a co-worker suffered harassment.

>>19209863
Bait but I don’t eat baloney, only drink buttermilk and not regular milk, don’t like chicken gristle, won’t eat hot dogs or hamburgers on bread (only accept buns!) and actually won’t eat hot dogs unless they’re actually brats.

you are the loser for working in a ktichen

>>19214359
Fair point, everyone who works in the food business is ultimately a loser.

>>19209863
Back in college my roomates were a bunch of food stealing cunts, so whenever I had leftovers, I used to rub my dick on it before putting it in the refrigerator, this way when they inevitably eat it they are giving me an indirect blowjob.

>>19209863
When I'm alone I enjoy eating like a barbarian fucking pig and I eat with my hands and make a mess with my mouth

>>19214375
knew you would see it my way, now get back to work.

>>19214576
Will do sir, and will be sure to add plenty of that "special sauce" that you love so much!

>>19209863
I have been cursed from birth for being born in a roadside burger joint family.

Ever since I can remenber I have been forced to work on it with my parents.

I always place pubes on the burgers, hoping the place will get closed down by a health inspector.

>>19213388
>Don’t rape your neighbours children just because he’s rude to you, there is a line that you don’t cross m8, what’s wrong with you?
>you: ummm you sound like a rude neighbor?

>>19214724
No children were harmed, according to OP.

You are just a faggot.

>>19209863
nice fan fiction

>>19209914
I hope you enjoy the felony because you’re a grumpy loser working a shitty job like a failure.
It’s a fake story anyway but thanks for larping

>>19214898
Not that this story is believable, but it certainly is not far fetched, I avoid sending back food that is not proper, I just walk out completely, rather than risk having them mess with my food!

>>19213593
Had a similar experience a long time ago.
>Been dating this fantastic woman (Anna) but sadly her parents were insane
>mother is this fag-a-tronics of the highest order Karen.
>father is an anti-war leftist (this was during Bush Jr's term) he would wear custom shirts with Bush's picture and a bullseye over them. Yet, he was an anti-gun nut.
>we're having a cookout at the mother's brother's house (uncle) to celebrate June birthdays
>Anna's parents were also insane vegans where we had to have TWO grills separated but multiple feet apart so meat and veggie air won't mix. (I will forever remember Anna's mother saying that)
>doesn't matter, everyone gets a lecture on why meat is bad while eating.
>Anna's uncle is clearly tired of his sister's bullshit and gives them veggie burgers soaked in grease and some meat mixed
>their pussy tum-tums haven't had real food in eons.
>Anna's parents spent the rest of the evening puking or shitting their guts out while everyone else was enjoying the pool, drinking, and relaxing.
Take note young anons from this old fag in his early 40s. That woman who hates their mother eventually becomes her. Fucking insane hippy cunts, she wasn't even a good fuck.

>>19215010
Avoid at all costs, noted.

Thank you kindly, brave warrior, for your service that you provided us this day!

>I work as a line cook at a fancy restaurant, and I'm usually pretty good at keeping my cool around rude customers.
>But today, this one guy was being a total dickhead. I mean, he was being so obnoxious, I was surprised the other staff hadn't given him the boot already.
>So when I saw him order a bowl of soup, I couldn't help myself. I leaned over the counter and spit into it.
>It was totally worth it, too. The look on his face when he took a spoonful was priceless.

>>19215010
Kek, I'm beef veggie Burganon
I dated an Anna right after that summer
She was the crazy one, tho, her parents were kinda based
Jewish but sent her to a Catholic college
We dated for a couple of months, and got pretty serious
Then she told me she was engaged, which she was
Her fiance said some stuff to me over the phone, I was like, "bitch, meet me in my time zone," but then she dumped us both, moved back to California, and common-law married her employer
Still had a great summer, and did pretty well post-9/11
Have an oldfag high-five from this guy

>>19212510
>and the staff doesnt hate me nearly as much as you would expect
LOLOL!!
You Have NO IDEA.
It's Okay, you are a retarded Narcissist.
They'll NEVER tell you to your face.
75% HATE you..But will never let on...
20% are ambivalent--It's just a fucking job.
5% ARE into IT. and ARE JUST AS SICK AS YOU ARE.
Whatever, man. Your sick DeSade fantasies can play out However.
Just don't be surprised when someone shakes a bolt loose and goes ballistic on your manipulative ass.

>>19209863
>work at hospo
>bad person we all hate is here
>person does that thing we hate
>probably because they are bad
>bad person asks me food (because I work hospo)
>give her food
>but food isn't normal its bad food
>Its bad because of what I did to it
>bad person eats bad food
>its bad persons fault they ate bad food
>I feel better about having to be near bad person because they ate bad food

>>19209863
when i was like 7 i accidentally broke a kids finger and headbutted him for stealing my chips.
there was another incident after which i was given pills, but it is not food related.