/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>prices are listed
>but no currency symbol is included
For what purpose?

>Reccomended Gratituity

>>19122644
>very bottom of the menu in 3px font
>due to staffing shortages, a 3% kitchen fee will be added to all checks, thank you for your understanding

>McMenu
>anything other than this

>>19122688
10 cents for a slice of cheese lol

>>19122644
OMG CABBIT

>>19122586

>she eats in "restaurants" that serve sandwiches
How absolutely white trash of you.

>walk in
>the menu is on the wall behind the counter
>it’s a “build your own bowl/salad” type of place, so you have to tell them every ingredient you want in it, even down to the broth and condiments
>font on the menu is so small that most people can only read it when they are *leaning over* the counter
>every single customer interaction therefore becomes a 5-8 minute conversation about what goes well together as people are reading the menu for the first time right at the counter
>instead of a number, they give you something weird, like a wooden spoon or a conch shell, to put on your table for when they bring your food out to you

>>19122586
>5% Employee Health

>>19122648
The worst practice in existence. Should be illegal to do that instead of just raising prices by whatever the % is.

>>19122648
When I was in dc a random rum bar had a 23 percent tip included. The fuck is that

>>19122688
>coffee shake
bring it back

>>19122781
That's for a 1/4 Pounder slice of cheese. The difference between a regular hamburger and cheeseburger is but 5 cents.

>>19122809
Make it stop.

>>19122633
>no prices listed
>bill comes
>still no prices

Anything being described as "easy to eat"

>>19122809
>Crinkle cut to a fault

So what's going on there then, they have excessively crinkle cut the potatoes!?

>>19122633
minimalism. we all know it's dollars, there's no need to put a dollar sign next to every single price. probably saves printer ink too

Not exactly a menu thing, but something in this vein I notice pretentious as fuck millennial targeted places is that they'll use very reductionist or simple words to describe themselves in their sub-title, like 'kitchen + bar', 'canteen', 'bites + drinks', garbage like that, while being the most pretentious, overwrought food you could imagine

>>19123572
"cafeteria" is a good one to avoid

>>19122809
It just gets worse the more I read

>>19123580
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a restaurant labeled as a cafeteria that wasn’t aimed at elderly people

>>19123220
kek

>>19122809
Send the nukes russia

>>19122648
Bullshit fees means I don’t tip. Either fight me or fight management, your choice wagies.

>>19122688
>1/4 pounder with cheese more expensive than a big mac
???

>>19122809
>comes with herb butter dip (for the crust)
w-what happens if you dip the tip of the slice

>during the pandemic
>looking at the online menu of a local restaurant I like
>updated the week before, saying they now only have takeout
>on the very bottom there's a small note saying an additional 5% mandatory tip will be added to all orders to support Black Lives Matter
>never order there again
>they ended up having to close for good 6 months later

>>19122812
why do people on 4chan larp like they are some rich old bitch

>>19122586
oh is this the flyover containment thread? where flyovers lament their cultureless food offerings? i'm sure the "SHARED YUMS" section of the local Cheddar's is pretty infuriating, you should scoff at it to show your impotent indignation every other thursday when you and your disgusting family waddle in. that'll show 'em! and on your 15 minute drive back home after a disgusting meal, i hope you remember that you will never leave this place and you will never know if you could have been successful in a competitive place, and as you're lying on your deathbed in some uncomfortable hospice your children might, MIGHT, bring you Cheddar's takeout once a month and hang around for like 12 minutes until you've choked down enough of it for them to say goodbye again.

>>19124627
>I don’t think I’ve ever seen a restaurant labeled as a cafeteria that wasn’t aimed at elderly people

I just got a flashback of the 80+ year average age old people eating in the zellers store restaurants. I can smell the old people in my memory. *shudder*

Here's a classic

>>19125010

>>19124824
jail

>>19124934
>weed store chain near me had racist nativist message on website saying "we acknowledge we are on hfdhcxxczhrkl;hnf;lj'orfhj'lkf native land" or some such bullshit
>don't visit while it's up there
>the message disappears from their website
>they caved to angry vancouverites saying they wouldn't buy weed from their shops

There is hope

>>19123229
It's also because the presence of a dollar sign inevitably makes you think about price/value when you're making decisions. Restaurants don't want you to think about price, they just want you to order whatever seems appealing and hopefully that includes some high-margin items, so menus are designed to achieve that without violating fair trading laws

>>19125010
>>19125014
>>cringe football field style margins
>>shareables
fuck you and your lunchables
>>TOUCHDOWN SALADS

This is not a category of salad. Also I doubt football players eat much salad

>>menu asks you questions in a pretentious >>tone
>>dishes named after memes and references
>>sauces and ingredients with horseshit names >>which amount to word salad, to impress >>fucking hicks who don't know real food.

these are the kind of people you could serve fennel leaves to and convince them that it's a rare peruvian herb

>>what is bubba bacon? They cut up bubba from forrest gump and made him into bacon
>>Rocky mt. oysters description combines cryptic description with comedy commentary
>>I've been bubbatized with bubba's special blend

Please lord satan, cleanse me from this abomination with your unholy fire

>>shark bait menu for kids
Nothing spells out family funtime like jokes about your apelets being used as shark chow

>>catfish
The one sanely named menu item for anyone who's been catfished thinking this was a decent restaurant

>>karaoke
oh no
It gets worse though
>>shuffleboard
because the smell of old people and their sharts really improves the dining experience
>>biker events
oh lawd
>>Fooseball
in a restaurant
in a fucking restaurant
this will surely invite the most intelligent people possible

>>build your own pizza
>> no pizza recipes on menu
fuck you, if I wanted to do that I'd stay home and spend $18 on something that would cost like $45 if the place would even make it

>>giant cringe list of rules covering HALF of the back page
>>THOU SHALT
thou shalt cringe at thy remixing of the ten commandments in the form of house rules
>>menu insists on tipping
FUCK YOU, MAY RACCOONS EAT YOUR BALLS AND GIVE YOUR CHILDREN RABIES
>>whines about people pre-gaming
they think they're entitled to your money

I'd doubt it was real but it's american, so it might be

>>19122586
ronald would never say this

>>19122809
>edgy veggie stew

>>19124824
You will be kindly asked to leave and escorted off the premises.

>>19125003
Gives me war flashbacks to the times my parents used to have these elderly vacation friends who recommended us an “amazing” spot to eat on vacation, and it essentially amounted to a cafeteria serving hospital food and nobody in there was under the age of 65.

>>19122586
>>retarded or obscure dish names with no or vague description
>Be me
>Get told to visit new burger place by multiple friends, finally end up going
>"I'll take the buffalo chicken burger please"
>"Do you mean the Hennifer Lopez or the Cluck Norris?"
>"I mean the buffalo chicken burger"
>Waitress tries to make me say the retarded menu name another time, I shut her down again
>She walks away looking pissed off
Millenials starting their own restaurants has been one of the biggest mistakes in restauranteuring history, and I can't wait to see what even more retarded cringe trends zoomers initiate once they start opening their shitty tiktok menu restaurants

>>19126122
Fuck, this reminded me of this restaurant I went to in LA that made you order "affirmations". The server told us we had to start with "I am" and then whatever the fuck what we wanted was named. We went somewhere else.
>picrel

>>19126122
The Hennifer Lopez isn't even buffalo chicken...

>>19122809

>>19122633
i spent 40 minutes writing a green text but then realised it was only funny in a german humor way so i deleted it, but i would appreciate if you laughed anyway :)

>>19126301
>german
>humor

>>19122809
What's honestly wrong with that menu? It looks fine

>>19122995
dont you know its REALLY hard work pouring liquid from a bottle.

>>19126303
>he must be finnish

>>19123004
They've had that for the past 15 years. It's called a frappuccino.

Is there like an anthropological study tracing back why Millennials are so obsessed with gay, quirky names and descriptors? One only needs to pop down to the craft beer section of their local liquor store to see the sheer abundance of Millennial-targeted products with names like 'RAINBOW BUBBLEGUM UNICORN FARTS' or 'BEARD MANLY BEARD SAILOR TATTOO NARWHAL LAGER'. What the fuck is wrong with them?

>>19126094
>>be me
>>on vegas vacation with my parents and sister and grandparents
>>grandparents recommend applebees
>>place was pure fucking hell, the dining equivalent of a childrens' ball pit
>>noise was near deafening
>>wonder WTF is wrong with my grandparents to recommend this shit
>>they normally seem to be much less dumb than this

One of many reasons why I hate vegas now

>>19126184
I hope you spat in the server's face on the way out

>>19125416
Ronald lost his job to Minion-wannabe animated boxes. He's very bitter.

>>19124824
That creates mustard gas.

>>19122809
This menu has got to be a joke. Some shitlord fucking around with InDesign…. Right?

>>19126457
>shitlord
Back to tumblr faggot

>>19122586
not everyone is a ham fisted pub wallowing rugby slob like you OP.

>>19126301
hahahaha nice one anon you got a laugh out of me!

Ahhh.
yeah.

>>19126587
crab salad hell

>menu isn't this

>>19126591
yep, that's where i got it...

>>19126596
>salads
>macaroni and mayo

>>19126596
This is Masterfully done...
only one slight change:

>>19122586
>ifunny.co

>>19126631
For the purist...

>>19126628
You son of a bitch, I had a stroke trying to spot the change.

>>19126628
nice

>>19124934
Good

>>19126459
>brian peppers posting
>thinks he's from tumblr
newfag pls...

>>19126642
Kek.
Sorry about that.
And to the OC OP, It really WAS perfectly done the first time--I usually NEVER salt my food before eating it--I Aporrogize.
Shamefurr dispray on mya partu.

>>19122809
Might be the worst thing I’ve ever read

>>19125010
>BBBC
What's the extra B for?

>>19126184
>I am yo søy
Baka gringos
>Substitutions Graciously Declined
I’m ordering lunch, not inviting you to my alliance for the playoffs

>>19126390
Reddit and Will Ferrell movies defined their taste

>>19126184
>walk into new restaurant
>host makes you sit on a dick-shaped stool
>waiter comes over
>Welcome, what can I getcha?
>"can I get the omlette?"
>ummm that's not on the menu?
>".... sigh..... can I get the.... yummy tummy omlette bunny?"
>uh huh... how would you like that done?
>"medium please"
>Nope, that's not it. Come on...... say it.
>"let me get those...... yummy yummy not too runny"
>And to drink?
>"a cup of coffee... I mean.... sigh.... a cup of 'fuck my ass daddy I am your little cumslut'...."
>Comin' right up!

>>19126184
>I am...sick of this shit
>Here's the bill

>>19126587

>Soda Pop
>Ham and Swiss
>????

>>19126996
Jones soda really went off the rails after the lockdowns...

>>19125297
>racist nativist message
how is acknowledging youre on stolen land racist

>>19127016
no they didn't they've been doing the wild seasonal soda for at least a decade.

>>19127032

actually I just checked was curious, two decades. They did a turkey and gravy soda in 2003.

>>19122633
They are baiting you into paying with monopoly money so they can either make a tik-tok or to to the local news for free publicity.

>>19127036
Anon..
I was just trying to be funny.

>>19127020
found the racist

>>19122809
Need a spuddy duddy to come over and toss my hatch

>>19125297
History makes weed smoking faggots angry. No surprise.

>>19127020
it ignores the people that were killed by those other people to take the land before yipipo came.

>>19126301
lol

>>19127127
>"History"
>literally no record
>umm actually we have ORAL history which goes something like this.... since time immemorial we lived here in perfect peace and literally nobody fought over territory so all this land belongs to us and none of the other groups (dude trust me).

>>19126896
I think it's supposed to be "BuBba's Brews" and also so they aren't associated with big black cock.

>>19127180
*belonged. And yes. Get over yourselves. You really are a cringey piece of smegma, but all weed smokers are.

>menu item's description describes the dish or some component of it as 'award-winning', 'world-famous', or 'signature'
>it's almost always just ok

>>19127196
never even heard of weed in my life

>>19125212
Straight to jail

>>19122809
is "delishy ceviche" supposed to rhyme? what the actual fuck is this menu

>>19126301
I laughed

>>19127020
Do you have a sign on your house acknowledging the land you "stole" from the ants and worms?

>>19127127
>>19127196
you're extremely boring and ignorant

>>19124824
It attracts candlejack

>>19126184
>I am Housemade Dressing

>>19126596
>whole pork should roasted for half an hour
Lol

>>19122633
>menu has prices, but the currency sub-unit is in fractions instead of decimals
I've actually seen a menu where a $9.50 item was written as 9½. A $10.75 item was, I shit you not, written as 10¾.

>>19122809
>SLAP YO MAMA
It's "slap ya mama" which is already an obnoxious descriptor, but szechuan chicken is Asian, not Cajun
this is the most white woman image i've ever seen

>>19126301
I actually laughed at this jesus christ

>no prices listed
???

>>19122809
yeah you know what i'd turn into a landback sakaist too if they bulldozed my mom's house for a bike path and started selling this shit

>>19128199
>10¾.

>>19126184
Hot waitresses at the Venice Beach location though. And is it so against your friendless chud principles to say “I am…thinking about the Gracious Salad. How is it?” and just move on with your meal?

>>19122809
Absolute honky bullshit

>>19125297
Pot smokers should be beheaded.

>>19125010
>Rocky Mountain oysters, crawfish and shrimp all on the same menu
They’re all going to suck

>>19122809
What in the millennial is going on here

>>19126184
I can't believe how fucking gay this is. Fuck sake.

>>19125403
learn how to use 4chan or never post again.

Coldstone creamery item size names are so fucking annoying

>Menu is animated on LCD screens
>every 10 seconds, all the items are completed removed so they can show a huge ad for their newest item for 20 seconds
>When the menu items ARE shown, they cycle through two pages with lots of empty space that could've been used to show all the items at once
Fuck this shit just put a fucking poster on the wall by the counter and call it a day.

>>19128634
How will they be able to adjust prices by the minute then GOY

>>19122648
Staffing shortages are an obtuse way of saying groids are infesting the area. People should just be more direct

>>19122809
This is the kind of menu that makes you want to torch a place.

>>19124947
It’s part of the culture I guess

>>19124934
>>19125297
It’s just blackcocks

>>19126184
>vegan restaurant
Enjoy smelling like gross farts all day.

>>19122809
You just know which way these people voted in the elections and the kind of faces they make in front of a camera.

>>19128603
>"hi lemme get uhhhhh Super Cum Crunch in Rooty Tooty Fuck My Booty"
>"yeah with the choco sperm sprinkles"
>"no cum-amel drizzle though"
>"$17.46? here's a 20 and I'll put the change in the tip jar"
>alarms go off
>lights flashing
>sirens wailing
>female employees climb on the counters and begin twerking
>men come from the back room and start feverishly blowing each other
>everything stops after a few minutes
>walk out with ice cream
>another day in obama's america

>>19126301
heh

>>19128883
Bidens Goymerica*

>>19126628
I can't find the change...

>>19126896
BYOBBC

>>19127020
Shouldn't have lost then. Fuck em.

>>19122644
Cunny

>>19122809
>rustic fries

>>19128848
Care to enlighten us? How do you "just know" whom the menu creators voted for?

>>19129682
sometimes you just know...

>>19122586
>calls the mains "Entrées" when it means "entrance" in French and is the French word for starter

>>19122688
>When you can't call it Fanta yet because everybody knows.

>>19122995
It's called inflation. Eggs, bricks and bacon doubled in price. Tips did too.

>>19126184
I am substitute

>>19130082
Yeah you gotta love it. When I was a kid, 15% was the expected standard gratuity, with 18-20% being reserved for really exceptional service. Nowadays the fucking suggested tip on the receipt or square reader just straight up starts at 18% or higher. I’ll see suggested gratuities up to fucking 25%. It’s absolutely insane.

>>19130061
Americans DO NOT call mains entrées you're fucking with-
>it's true
What the fuck, explain this?

I wish I could open up a restaurant, with normal stuff, normal food and a normal menu, just to see how the public would respond. I went around my town recently and there are almost no restaurants other than the stupid hipster "brewpubs" and brunch places that charge 30 dollars for an omelette and orange juice, and call it "organic fresh farm raised cage free eggs, beautifully whisked, and cooked with homemade butter and liberally seasoned with our superglobohomo spice. Please tip 20 dollars so our staff of whores dressed in yoga pants can buy more weed and eat more ubereats"


where are the places you can just buy a sandwich for 7 dollars? The only places around me that are still half decnet are the italian, chinese, and mexican food places.

>>19130476
>where are the places you can just buy a sandwich for 7 dollars?
those are fast food prices

>>19130484
not even my guy. Fucking McDonald's is like a minimum of $10 a combo meal these days

>>19124934
if the restaurant had been burnt down in a firey mostly peaceful protest it would have been like pottery

>>19126301

>>19122809

>>19126301

>>19122809
This may be an annoying menu but it has a lot of really good food on it. I would love to try the szechuan chicken or the veggie stew, or the carbonara fiesta. They may have annoying names but the menu has good food on it, which is not something every restaurant (especially restaurants obsessed with being trendy) can claim.

>>19130731
yo this nigga think he can tell if food's good from the menu

>>19126596
The Menu That Ja/ck/ Built

>>19128514
Buttmad dune coon
>>19127127
Nah history is great, fags like you get mad at people for smoking weed and that makes me kek pretty hard

>>19126301

>>19126596
>Garbage stew
We live in evil times

>>19128602
kill yourself

>>19122586
I walked out of a restaurant that had "Noms" on chalk board the menu.

>>19128883
Fuck you and your ERP

>>19124824
You go to the woods

This restaurant near me fits the bill I think
Worst offenders are "Ukrainian freedom sauce" in place of Russian dressing and "Capitol of Belgium" instead of brussel sprouts.
Dish names are atrocious too. sorry for the bad res image.

>>19126974
lek

>>19126457
Magical eyes..

>>19126896
Big Buck Broken Cock

>>19131678
Why are lefties 'Freedom Frying' Belgium? What did they do? I still can't believe I lived long enough to see liberals make asses out of themselves in EXACTLY the same manner as conservatives did in the early 00s. Fucking mind blowing

>>19128602
Shut the fuck up faggot his post was good. Take your own advice.

>>19126301
Lmao
You Krauts are alright

>>19131678

>>19131678
This menu is far worse than the fake rage bait one posted above. ‘Foliage’ got me the worst

>>19131678
>smalls
>bigs
>hands-y
kek

>>19132394
I don't think it is a cancelling, I think it just a quirky autism thing. I have a mild form of tourettes that sometimes compels me to call things by alternate names, though usually not as gay as these, so I can sorta relate.

>>19132394

Republicans renamed french fries to freedom fries after after France opposed the US invading Iraq.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freedom_fries

>>19122809
I don’t care how cringe the menu is, as long as the food is good and well portioned. My only gripe is that not every description of the food is that descriptive, and I hate having to guess what something will look like.

>Open an American restaurant in Japan
>Fill your menu with reddit humor
>Japanese people are ordering shit like the "ACAB" and the "Thicc Boi"

https://silverliningosaka.com/menu

https://posts.gle/KivvcER8qkk85jVLA

>>19126301

>>19134276
"All Criminals Are Black"?

>>19126301
I don't get it

>>19131678
>Ukrainian freedom sauce
Sorry, I don't like Jewish cum.

>>19126301
Mein sides

>>19131678
>Griddled-cake with convenient syrup holders (alright, fine, it's a waffle).

>>19133696
>
>Republicans renamed french fries to freedom fries after after France opposed the US invading Iraq.
>
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freedom_fries
Yeah, I fucking said that in my post as a comparison. Did you read it?

>>19126301
classic

>>19126301
TOP LEL HAHAHAAH

>>19132394
They're not lmao it's just this one place

>>19127155
How does that make anything better

>>19122809
whatever white girl or gay retard made this needs to be beat

>>19122809
Any place that offers herb-garlic butter to dip crust in is good in my book

>>19122809
so fucking corny

>>19128362
>that wrench

>>19135925
As opposed to republicans who held a national meeting where they voted for the freedom fry nonsense? You're such a fucking tool m8, can't admit when "your side" is engaging in obviously embarrassing shit.

>>19128199
That’s based though, decimals are metric, metric is communism

>>19135933
because the land acknowledgements credit the land ownership to the last tribe that killed to get the land before wypipo came. it's dishonest

>>19136001
dog, what the fuck are you on about right now? log off and take a deep breath

>>19122648
>>19130193
>doesnt dine and dash

>>19136080
I like to remind people that we're on unceded bear territory, because the bears were the apex predators before humans came here

>>19122809
Jesus christ

>>19126184
>I am leaving

>>19129682
>fag flag on the menu
I'd gquess they voted the same way you did.

>>19137179

>>19134694
are you german?

>>19137764
no

>>19137771
Sorry, you have to have a love of scat porn and a chronic urge to undermine the stability of the European continent to get it

>>19138419
dang it!

>>19126311
You honestly have no clue how many people want to you dead and would kill you now if they could get away with it.

>>19127020
Quiet, racist.

>>19127457
Progressive fundamentalism is ignorant. Your political extremism isn't "educated" thought. It's a cult.

>>19126184
>I am housemade dressing.

When I was in grad school there was this book shop/cafe that had the most cringe fucking retarded names for their sandwiches that were plays on literature and I wanted to die every time I went there but there was hardly anywhere else to go
>memoirs of a chicken
>sense and sensi-BLT

>>19126301
>it was only funny in a german humor way

>>19138642
Same
>the cauli parton

>>19124934
That happened to a restaurant near me too LOL

>>19138642
Same
>the cauli parton
>the little caese
>challah! french toast

>>19122586
Most diners have a sandwich section.

>>19138642
>$4 for 12 oz, $6 for 16oz
worse than the names

>>19130211
Back in the 1700s when the US split off the Europe menus weren't like either currently in the US or Europe. Entree referred to the second course after light appetizers.
In the US the Entree dish grew in size and importance within a multicourse meal until it became the centerpoint of the meal while maintaining the name. Other courses gradually were dropped from most service menus so the entree became the main and sometimes only.

>>19122809
>>19137170
>icon is part of the menu legend
>no items use that icon
Hmmm...

>>19126390
Certain groups have been trying to shame displays of masculinity in first world countries for years.
This is the desired outcome.

>>19126301
LOL

>>19126122
For me, it's the Filthy Animal.
My affirmation is I am a filthy animal, now serve me

>>19126184
I am substitute. I am housemade dressing.