/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>19110459
>phallic foods
Just put some whipped cream on your dick, dipshit.

>>19110459
Clams, peaches, hot dog buns, roast beef

>>19110459
She want the dick

>>19110459
cans of oysters and ginseng a few hours before your date

>>19110459
Is this a joke or do you actually not realize she wants the D. Either way gr8 thread.

>>19110459
>hoe
>that wordplay
Get out of here, xoomer

>>19110459
>What the fuck do I make?
sausage, pickles, cucumbers, bananas, eggplant

Eggplant Parmasan with sasuage bits mixed in

>>19110459
You made me laugh, OP.

>>19110467
well at least there was one good reply in this thread

>>19110472
This, she doesnt care what she eats as long as its your dick

>>19110459
Google translates hoe to English and it means she wants italian. All hoes like italian - just bake some garlic bread and serve with noodles and marinara - she'll be on your noodle in no time

>>19110459
Sausage and Pickle Stew with Cucumbers, Bananas, and Eggplant

Ingredients:

1 pound sausage, sliced into bite-sized pieces
1 cup pickles, sliced
2 cucumbers, sliced
2 bananas, sliced
1 eggplant, diced
1 onion, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon flour
2 cups chicken or vegetable broth
Salt and pepper, to taste
Fresh parsley, chopped (optional)

Instructions:

In a large pot or Dutch oven, heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add the sliced sausage and cook until browned, about 5-7 minutes. Remove the sausage from the pot and set aside.

In the same pot, add the diced onion and minced garlic. Cook until the onion is translucent, about 3-5 minutes.

Sprinkle the flour over the onions and garlic and stir to combine. Cook for 1-2 minutes until the flour is lightly browned.

Slowly pour in the broth, stirring constantly to avoid lumps. Add the sliced pickles, sliced cucumbers, diced eggplant, and sliced bananas to the pot.

Bring the stew to a simmer and cook for 10-15 minutes or until the vegetables are tender.

Add the cooked sausage back to the pot and stir to combine.

Taste the stew and season with salt and pepper, as needed.

Serve the sausage and pickle stew hot, garnished with chopped fresh parsley, if desired.

>>19110685
Disregard all advice from Americans. Hide all posts by Americans. Do not reply to posts from Americans except to warn people about Americans.

>>19110459
Funny joke aside,
>brats
>cooked in beer with kraut
>toss on potato bun
>add dil relish & mustard
>melt some cheese over the sausages for bonus points
My wife rewards me with sex every time. It's that simple.

>>19110459
sausage and peppers with a cold one

Are you niggas retarded
There is zero chance OP is being for real

>>19110484
>gr8 thread
Though it is nice to see someone on 4chan trying to be polite you don't have to blatantly lie to the OP like this.

>>19110459

Sure, here are 10 recipe ideas that incorporate the ingredients you mentioned:

Sausage and pepper skillet: Brown sliced sausage in a skillet, then add sliced bell peppers and onions. Cook until vegetables are tender and sausage is cooked through. Serve with rice or crusty bread.

Pickle-brined fried chicken: Marinate chicken pieces in pickle juice for at least an hour, then coat in seasoned flour and fry until golden brown.

Cucumber salad: Slice cucumbers thinly and toss with a dressing made from rice vinegar, sugar, and sesame oil. Top with sesame seeds and chopped peanuts.

Banana bread French toast: Dip slices of banana bread into a mixture of beaten eggs, milk, and cinnamon, then cook in a skillet until golden brown.

Grilled eggplant with yogurt sauce: Brush sliced eggplant with olive oil and grill until tender. Serve with a sauce made from Greek yogurt, lemon juice, garlic, and chopped herbs.

Sausage and pepper pasta: Cook your preferred pasta and set aside. Brown sliced sausage in a skillet, then add sliced bell peppers and onions. Cook until vegetables are tender and sausage is cooked through. Toss with the cooked pasta and top with grated Parmesan cheese.

Pickle and cheese board: Arrange a variety of pickles and cheeses on a board or platter for a snack or light meal.

Cucumber and hummus wrap: Spread hummus onto a tortilla or wrap, then top with sliced cucumber, shredded lettuce, and crumbled feta cheese. Roll up tightly and serve.

Banana oatmeal pancakes: Blend rolled oats, bananas, eggs, and cinnamon in a blender until smooth. Cook pancakes on a griddle or skillet until golden brown.

Grilled vegetable skewers: Thread sliced eggplant, bell peppers, onions, and cherry tomatoes onto skewers. Brush with olive oil and season with salt and pepper, then grill until tender and lightly charred.

>>19111228
Your banana eggplant is in the turtle’s mouth, and as far as the candle goes? It’s at the beach. If I were to be Italian, would we ever have a new president?

Sure, here are 10 recipe ideas that incorporate the ingredients you mentioned:

Sausage and pepper skillet: Brown sliced sausage in a skillet, then add sliced bell peppers and onions. Cook until vegetables are tender and sausage is cooked through. Serve with rice or crusty bread.

Pickle-brined fried chicken: Marinate chicken pieces in pickle juice for at least an hour, then coat in seasoned flour and fry until golden brown.

Cucumber salad: Slice cucumbers thinly and toss with a dressing made from rice vinegar, sugar, and sesame oil. Top with sesame seeds and chopped peanuts.

Banana bread French toast: Dip slices of banana bread into a mixture of beaten eggs, milk, and cinnamon, then cook in a skillet until golden brown.

Grilled eggplant with yogurt sauce: Brush sliced eggplant with olive oil and grill until tender. Serve with a sauce made from Greek yogurt, lemon juice, garlic, and chopped herbs.

Sausage and pepper pasta: Cook your preferred pasta and set aside. Brown sliced sausage in a skillet, then add sliced bell peppers and onions. Cook until vegetables are tender and sausage is cooked through. Toss with the cooked pasta and top with grated Parmesan cheese.

Pickle and cheese board: Arrange a variety of pickles and cheeses on a board or platter for a snack or light meal.

Cucumber and hummus wrap: Spread hummus onto a tortilla or wrap, then top with sliced cucumber, shredded lettuce, and crumbled feta cheese. Roll up tightly and serve.

Banana oatmeal pancakes: Blend rolled oats, bananas, eggs, and cinnamon in a blender until smooth. Cook pancakes on a griddle or skillet until golden brown.

Grilled vegetable skewers: Thread sliced eggplant, bell peppers, onions, and cherry tomatoes onto skewers. Brush with olive oil and season with salt and pepper, then grill until tender and lightly charred.

>>19110459
>>ask her what she likes
>>sausage, pickles, cucumbers, bananas, eggplant
Make the slut something wholesome. If she can't deal with it and insists on making penis jokes when you're asking serious questions, then dump her.

>>19111228
>>19111249

Please do not use Chat GPT for replies.

>>19111271
The OP deserves to be shit on.

>>19111268
You can't be serious right now.

>>19111279
If she's such a slut that she's dropping penis innuendos on the second date when she can't have gotten to know you very well yet, then you know she does that for other men too. She's a slut. Stay away.

>>19110459
>Hey, I want to cook for you
>I WANT PENIS
stupid woman
in one go she:
shows disregard for your interests
undermines your stated goal
places her immediate desires above yours
and so on

this is what women offer. she could have just politely told you a few things that she likes, you could have cooked for her, then afterwards led to something.
I would make her a recipe using sausage and eggplant then leave

>>19111302
you wouldnt do anything, because youll never be in a situation where a woman is speaking to you like that

>>19111312
not anymore, I'm too old now. been there, learned, experienced it. trying to pass advice to younger fellows, see the signs early, don't waste your time with these kinds of women

>>19111330
Pretty sure that this made up lady was just flirting a little bit

>>19111302
>>Hey, I want to cook for you
>>I WANT PENIS
>stupid woman

The OP, assuming he's a guy and not a lesbian, did this to himself. By asking the woman her preferences in food (shows lack of confidence in his own decision-making) and even offering to cook, rather than flaunting his money by taking her out to eat at a restaurant (shows poverty), reversed the roles in the relationship. Women pick up on this and will begin to disrespect a man at the slightest sign of weakness.

Guys, little tip. If you want a woman to respect you, do not cook for her. You can procure the ingredients, but do not touch them with anything aside from a fork, spoon or table knife.

>>19110459
make mussels, stupid easy, takes 15 minutes, excuse to bring out bottles of wine

>>19110459
>Steam hotdog bun
>Put your dick in that bun
>Add Mustard
>Serve

>>19110459
Tell her you like to post frogs, I'm sure she'll hop right into bed with you.

>>19111389
>Guys, little tip. If you want a woman to respect you, do not cook for her. You can procure the ingredients, but do not touch them with anything aside from a fork, spoon or table knife.
Did you hear this on some gay "red pill" or PUA podcast? Me and my girlfriend of 3 years cook for each other all the time, and we cook together multiple times per week. It's part of what keeps our relationship strong and healthy.

>>19110459
Banoffee pie

>>19110459
Tube steak

>>19110459
Make a cockmeat sandwich that's what's she's asking for.

>>19111448
>Did you hear this on some gay "red pill" or PUA podcast? Me and my girlfriend of 3 years cook for each other all the time, and we cook together multiple times per week. It's part of what keeps our relationship strong and healthy.
You immediately fall into boyfriend material, which is what the west needs less of. Your gf doesnt respect u, shes just with u because she needs male companionship and u are beta enough without too much betaness.

>>19111448
>but do not touch them with anything aside from a fork, spoon or table knife.
touching is what seperates the true players from the afcs. when u touch her, u know exactly what ur dealing with and u nvr waste time on a lukewarm girl.

>>19111302
>ou could have cooked for her, then afterwards led to something.
why would u want to do something with her after she has eaten?

just make a curry and throw all those in

curry absorbs all

>>19112458
>Me and my girlfriend of 3 years cook for each other all the time,
believe it or not, this benefits ur gf more than it benefits u. yeah its wierd. ik. girls are wierd.

>>19110459
You could grill some sausages and pickles together. She's kind of a bitch for not naming any actual foods outside of banana and eggplant or any actual dishes, but that's about the best you can do.

why do u wanna cook for her? cus u wanna fuck her? just ask if she wanna fuck? if shes offended by the q, then she wasnt dtf.

She wants you to shove an eggplant in her ass, obviously. Start with the pickle and work your way up, though.

>>19110459
>>score second date with this hoe
>>tell her I want to cook for her
holy shit, theres like social media and sites where girls talk about the dirtiest things they do, and ur here cooking meals for them. also, some other man fucked her on the first meet up and ur here second dating her and cooking for her. step ur game up.

>>19110466
Haha, I’m such a virgin.

>>19112520
>touching things with your dick that others dudes have touched their dicks with

Super gay.
Nope. I’ll stay a virgin.

>>19112520
women secretly know that men are better cooks and it's an important life skill that men have been using to get laid since the dawn of time

>>19110467
Good job

>>19112520
>thinking about what other dudes have done with their dicks
gay

>>19111448
A woman needs to bring something to a relationship that a man can't. Otherwise, why be in a relationship with her? Sex? When her beauty fades, what are you going to do, jump ship to a younger woman? No, but that's why you need to respect her as a woman by allowing her to have her own things. When her beauty fades, she needs to feel like she still has value, otherwise she's liable to have an emotional post-wall crisis.

Women thrive on nurturing, on thinking about what their loved ones might be feeling so they can care for them better. When you tell her that you don't need her to cook for you, you aren't emotionally murdering her, but think of it like taking away one of her outlets to be a woman. Imagine if you work three jobs but she arbitrarily told you that you can't work one of them anymore, or that she was going to get a job and she'd make more than you make, even though you work 3 jobs. She can nurture you in other ways, true. But not really through cooking.

>>19112462
>touching is what seperates the true players from the afcs
You can't even read. You can't quote the right post, either. Dumb fuck. I said don't touch THE FOOD. Not talking about her. And I'm exaggerating to make a point, which you took completely at face value, like the stupid fuck you are.

>>19113208
>A woman needs to bring something to a relationship that a man can't. Otherwise, why be in a relationship with her? Sex? When her beauty fades, what are you going to do, jump ship to a younger woman? No, but that's why you need to respect her as a woman by allowing her to have her own things. When her beauty fades, she needs to feel like she still has value, otherwise she's liable to have an emotional post-wall crisis.
You're right. And she makes me things - she knits me hats and socks, she makes me paintings, and she bakes for me. She's also a much better cook than me. Cooking is only one of many things women can be good at.

>>19113254
>You're right. And she makes me things - she knits me hats and socks, she makes me paintings, and she bakes for me. She's also a much better cook than me.
My original comment was directed at the OP, who said that he wanted to emasculate his girlfriend on only the second date. For seeming to agree with my reasoning here, you really came off as confrontational and condescending by accusing me of being thought-imprinted by "podcasts." Why no apology?

>>19113291
Why would I apologize? Telling people not to cook for their woman is bad advice. It all depends on context. There is nothing inherently feminine about cooking and there are many other ways a woman can feel useful and needed around you.

This proves you can be retarded and still get pussy

>>19111271
Why? It improves post quality tenfold.

>>19110459
>sausage, pickles, cucumbers, bananas, eggplant
lol just make something dick-shaped

>>19110459
>>19110466
Now I need to know if this was a text conversation with emoticon replies and Anon was too autistic to catch the hint.
Because spelled out fuck me I was. I was going to suggest eggplant rollatini and spaghetti w/ meat sauce using whole italian sausages.

>>19110490
based autist anon

>>19110459
cocktail sausages, gherkins, Lady Finger bananas, baby eggplants

>>19110459

>Bitch, what you want?

>Hurr hurr, I love phallus shaped foods!

Invite her over for a date. Pop out wearing nothing but a banana hammock, and a carrying one of those big waiter platters with a cover.

Set her down at the table, uncover the platter to reveal a plate with a single sausage on it, a plate with a pickle, a plate with a cucumber, a plate with a banana, and a plate with an eggplant.

Tell her "dinner is served!", then stare at her while she eats each one. Maintain a massive erection, and have a weird smile on your face while doing so.

>>19110459
Salami would be the optimal course of action.

This thread has been up for more than a day. Are OPs with green frogs allowed now? Or is this an April Fool joke?

>>19110459
- Sausage and Eggplant Stir-Fry: Sauté sliced sausage and cubed eggplant in a pan until browned, then add sliced cucumbers and pickles. Season with soy sauce and serve over rice.

- Grilled Sausage and Pickle Skewers: Cut sausage and pickles into bite-sized pieces and thread them onto skewers with chunks of eggplant. Brush with olive oil and grill until charred and tender.

- Cucumber, Sausage, and Pickle Salad: Slice cucumber, sausage, and pickles and toss together with a light vinaigrette. Serve over a bed of lettuce or as a side dish.

- Eggplant and Sausage Casserole: Layer sliced eggplant and cooked sausage in a baking dish, then top with sliced pickles. Bake in the oven until the eggplant is tender and the sausage is browned and crispy.

- Pickle and Sausage Pizza with Eggplant: Spread pizza sauce over a pre-made crust and top with sliced sausage, pickles, and roasted eggplant. Sprinkle with shredded cheese and bake until the crust is golden brown.

Banana desserts?
- Banana ice cream: Blend frozen bananas in a food processor until they reach a creamy consistency, and add toppings like nuts or chocolate chips if desired.

- Banana pudding: Layer sliced bananas with vanilla pudding, whipped cream, and vanilla wafers for a classic dessert.<div class="xa23b"><span class="xa23t"></span><span class="xa23i"></span></div>

>>19110467

>>19110459
1.
> Dice the eggplant, put some salt on it and let it drain for a couple of hours. After that deep fry the eggplant
> Cook penne
> Sautee the penne in a pan with the eggplan
> On the plate, grate some hard sheep cheese
> Add just a couple of tiny mint leaves

2.
> cook the sausage in a pan and serve sliced with diced pickels on top and dill(the fermented kind, not the one with sugar and vinegar)
> Cucumber sounds redundant but you can make a side with cucumber and fresh diced >tomatoes, evoo and a splash of balsamic vinegar

3.
> Make a dessert with banana like a fancy Bana split or a fruit salad (preferred)