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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

File: 501 KB, 1744x981, david-foster-wallace-hp-GQ-29Jul15_getty_b.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

how do you kill a lobster? Anonymous Sun Mar 26 23:57:15 2023 No.19094788 [Reply] [Original]

boiled alive?
steamed alive?
heat the pot slowly?
rip its limbs off?
knife through the head?
tie them in a plastic bag?
hang them?

>>	Anonymous Sun Mar 26 23:58:23 2023 No.19094791 >>19094788 Would love to kill you before I kill an innocent crustacean.

>>	Anonymous Sun Mar 26 23:58:45 2023 No.19094795 genital mutilation, then it does it by itself.

>>	Anonymous Sun Mar 26 23:58:59 2023 No.19094797 >>19094788 Start a convo about infinitesimal with them

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 00:03:14 2023 No.19094817 Depth Charger.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 00:03:31 2023 No.19094819 >>19094791 how?

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 00:13:38 2023 No.19094849 File: 558 KB, 580x533, frensub.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>19094817 Based and Hunt for Red Lobster-pilled

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 00:25:23 2023 No.19094904 File: 1.96 MB, 384x216, 1457403964121.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>19094849

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 00:35:41 2023 No.19094934 >boiled alive? Yes.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 00:42:35 2023 No.19094961 >>19094788 Just toss him in the pot. Try not to overtime it, he'd do the same to you if given the chance.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 01:05:51 2023 No.19095034 >>19094934 >>19094961 you don't mind the banging?

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 01:08:48 2023 No.19095042 >>19094788 I’d repeatedly satisfy it sexually

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 01:09:59 2023 No.19095047 >>19094788 Read it your poetry, lol

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 01:29:32 2023 No.19095106 >>19095034 What banging? I bring water to the boil, drop in the lobsters and that's it. They cook quickly and there's no banging.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 01:44:19 2023 No.19095155 >>19095034 It dies pretty damned fast, not much time for banging and thrashing if the waters already at a rolling boil. Throwing them in The fridge for an hour helps too, makes em lethargic.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 02:58:14 2023 No.19095436 >>19094788 >hang them? /ck/omedy

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 03:05:41 2023 No.19095456 File: 255 KB, 900x1200, lobsterbattle.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>19094788 Take the rubber bands off, give it a knife, and face it in honerable combat for the right to its flesh by winning the duel.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 03:10:41 2023 No.19095471 File: 384 KB, 500x269, 22746.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>19094849 Was hoping for a WWII response so I could call them Krautstaceans.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 03:18:30 2023 No.19095509 >>19094788 I introduce the lobster to my lobster gf and together we convince it to suicide.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 03:24:43 2023 No.19095534 >>19094788 Cram 30 minutes before boiling.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 13:45:31 2023 No.19096575 >>19094788 https://youtu.be/zmjapU29GKE?t=80

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 13:58:23 2023 No.19096607 They're sea bugs, just drop them into the water who cares? They don't even have the same concept of pain as mammals (this isn't an urban myth btw)

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 14:07:37 2023 No.19096621 >>19094788 Shoot it

>>	None !VGOK6fUxDA Mon Mar 27 14:11:44 2023 No.19096629 Let it go back in ocean

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 14:29:48 2023 No.19096674 File: 198 KB, 760x507, 347433DF-1F48-4BFE-8196-CB2348C192FD.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 14:34:33 2023 No.19096689 File: 491 KB, 640x640, goodbye crustacean world.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>19095509 You make it eliminate its own map?

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 15:40:59 2023 No.19096878 >>19094788 i engage it in honorable combat, to the victor goes the spoils.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 15:46:40 2023 No.19096889 >>19096689 Did he live?

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 15:49:34 2023 No.19096900 >>19094788 drowned in wine lobster dies happy wine seasons the lobster

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 16:00:27 2023 No.19096926 File: 86 KB, 476x621, 1672267323455.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>19096889 He lived as he died: dead

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 16:04:33 2023 No.19096932 I give it information that could lead to the arrest of Hillary Clinton and let it use social media to spread it.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 17:33:38 2023 No.19097151 >>19095436 >>19095047 funny

Anonymous Mon Mar 27 17:51:38 2023 No.19097182
File: 37 KB, 400x400, vTlcg5fr_400x400.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

DFW offed himself after one of his students posted a video of a voicemail he had left her where he dropped all his spaghetti

She has gotten enough grief that she made the video private but it has never become common knowledge

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 18:51:36 2023 No.19097346 just snib the snab

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 19:24:58 2023 No.19097449 >>19094788 le suicidal diaper head writer

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 28 01:21:02 2023 No.19098596 >>19097182 Who is dfw

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 28 01:24:12 2023 No.19098610 Don't boil it alive. Kill it painlessly before cooking it

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 28 01:33:35 2023 No.19098639 File: 1.87 MB, 958x939, Bug Slayer.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>19094788 https://youtu.be/X-qaOUJXR5s?t=85

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 28 03:41:14 2023 No.19099106 >>19096689 keep in mind its possible it was suffocating there. Crabs can survive on land with moist gills, but past that they need to submerge periodically.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 28 04:24:17 2023 No.19099242 >>19098596 David Foster Wallace, a famous literary author of the 1990s who wrote, among many other things, the essay "Consider the Lobster" from which OP derived this thread's subject.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 28 04:28:43 2023 No.19099261 >>19099242 shut up nerd

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 28 04:34:00 2023 No.19099289 >>19099261 Ok, sorry to have disturbed you.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 28 04:39:30 2023 No.19099301 File: 954 KB, 480x558, 1674523219068928.web.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>19096889 Yes

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 28 10:14:09 2023 No.19099985 File: 881 KB, 1280x720, vlcsnap-2014-05-05-21h01m38s150.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>19096689 This is a crab. >>19096926 This is a crab. >>19099301 Unbothered. Moisturized. Happy. In his lane. Focused. Flourishing. But still a crab.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 28 12:21:55 2023 No.19100191 >>19094797 give em the schnikt

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 28 12:23:49 2023 No.19100196 File: 219 KB, 500x500, tooth.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>19099261

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 28 12:24:22 2023 No.19100198 Cyberbullying.

Anonymous Tue Mar 28 12:30:56 2023 No.19100209
File: 535 KB, 888x831, stoop lads.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>19097182
He spilled his spaghetti all the time, though. What was so special about that one?

>>19099985
I didn't have any webms of suicidal lobsters.
You gotta work with me a little.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 28 12:32:50 2023 No.19100213 Send him to a school in America.

Anonymous Tue Mar 28 12:40:28 2023 No.19100224
File: 362 KB, 604x473, 1673460588549741.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

> edgy teens in this thread
put in freezer for 15 mins
bisect in half
cook as desired
this is rspca advice and people who torture animals for fun are third world shitskins deserving of another colonial slave era to set things right

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