/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>18965015
Hard crust is "manly"

both are burnt

>>18965022
They're all a bunch of tattooed and pierced freaks with handlebar mustaches there. No petite French girls with berets and black and white striped shirts and red lipstick going "hon hon hon"

I just want some good bread with 4 ingredients. It shouldn't be this hard

>>18965056
make it then retard

>>18965056
>They're all a bunch of tattooed and pierced freaks with handlebar mustaches the
I knew that soon as I saw the bread lmao. Those man bun sporting faux-manly hipsters cling to the dumbest little memes of masculinity to hide the fact that they're wussies. Usually if you talk to them, the voice is jarring. But yeah, they think hard crust is like "mans bread!". It's kind of like the bacon mania meme only it never took off that widely.

what city?

I am amazed there are le manly hipsters larping about so many different foods

>>18965046
I really should call and complain. I already left a bad Yelp review

>>18965067
No, that's way too much work for me. I make quick breads all the time, but nothing compares to the real thing. I guess I'll have to look elsewhere

>>18965100
Los Angeles

you gotta be pretty stupid to sell that, its not really the burnt part thats bad, its just if you sell bread (especially in big loaves) you gotta take in mind the customer may want to reheat that and selling bread that burnt prevents oven time at all since it would get even blacker.

>>18965167
Sub-human.

>>18965167
That actually explains it

>>18965015
looks burnt to me

That bread sucks OP you're not wrong.

>>18965167
Come on man, dont come on here and complain that you cant find a good bakery in one of the largest cities in America. Fuck off.

>>18965015
>>18965046
>>18965085
>>18965172
>>18965319
>>18965336
It's not burnt, cairnspring expresso T85 is designed to look that way
It's sourdough so of course it's going to be hard, but it's not burnt it's dark as part of it's look
do your fucking research niggers

>>18965346
Kek that really is how they think isn't it

>make worse product
>claim it's actually better than what people actually desire
>there's enough effete cork sniffers to sustain the business anyway

>>18965360
You can get regular looking bread anywhere, it's nothing special it's just fucking bread
The entire idea of this artisan bullshit is that for people that care enough to want something fresh and want something distinct they're able to get it
No one's forcing anyone to buy this shit and cheaper bread still exists
There's literally nothing wrong with that

>>18965015
burnt

>>18965346
>sourdough so of course it's going to be hard

>>18965360
Reminds me of the story of when Madras fabric was first imported to the US. People didnt expect the dyes to run and got pissed at the company selling it, so the company's solution was to run a marketing campaign that their Madras clothes were "guaranteed to bleed". And it worked.

>>18965377
Yes, fresh sourdough is a supposed to have a hard thin outer layer and soft inside
Did you think I meant the entire loaf is supposed to be hard?
Did you think I meant it's supposed to be hard enough to break your teeth?
Nice one anon you really owned me there, really

>>18965346
>>18965370
We've found a man bun bread maker. HOPE YA LIKE CRUST. This anon invented a new bread named it "the jaw breaker"

>>18965406
so you were only pretending to be retarded...

>>18965424
>HOPE YA LIKE CRUST
Oh man a different style of food? Awful
Why do we need scrambled/poached/softboiled/hardboiled/omlette style eggs when you can just eat it one way as sunny side up?
Hell, why do we even need sourdough/wheat/multigrain/pumpernickel/brioche when you can just eat it one way as white bread?
I HATE the idea of different textures and types of food!

>>18965449
Why would you ever eat a sunny side up egg anon? That's just silly

>>18965346
>read the whole description
>still dont know what the fuck is going on

>>18965344
It's America. Of course good bread is gonna be hard to find. There's probably a real boulangerie in Beverly Hills or something, but I would have to make a special trip

>>18965346
I actually appreciate the counterpoint. I guess I just don't like this style, feels burnt to me

>>18965162
>No, that's way too much work for me.
Have you considered suicide? Living is a lot of work.

American be like
>0/5, bread wasn't soft and white

The only place where I can get "good" bread is either Panera or the new Lidl that opened near my house. Lidl is also really cheap as well.

>>18965753
It's an American bread retard

>>18965386
I worked in a cat litter factory. Cat litter is mostly a type of clay that's shipped in by rail. The grainers that hauled the clay often had carbon deposits on the inside that would often break off and contaminate our clay. A solution would've been expensing, so the million dollar idea was to add more carbon and slap a sticker on the carton that read "now with charcoal activated scent absorbers!", resulting in reduced material and shipping costs and increased sales.

>>18965015
Gee I dunno anon, this bread from 1681 looks pretty dark

>>18965759
>Panera
>Good
nice shill job
only time I willingly wen to one was a date with a girl who turned out to be a cripple
ordered tea and that's it, fuck their overpriced shit

>>18965747
Yeah, living is hard work, which is why I don't have time to make sourdough bread from scratch retard.

Why don't I just grow my own wheat and mill my own flour while I'm at it. Fashion an oven from clay I harvested at the river bank, heated with firewood I collected and dried myself

>>18965759
>mfw

>>18965775
>>18965386
Love these little stories. Capitalism breeds innovation

>>18965794
god, imagine you're some poor crippled girl and you fucking match with some miserable /ck/ poster with no money lmfao, to be a fucking fly on the wall for that conversation. at what point did you bring up jews?

>>18965807
panera was her choice, it was near her house and I'm pretty certain her father was watching us
trust me, I'm one of those insufferable pricks that will try to wine and dine

>>18965783
You need to add dough improver and enzyme softener to get the light fluffy bread with soft crusts. Just basic ingredients of things like flour water and yeast are going to give a rustic loaf and an inferior product that will leave you wondering why you cant bake. A rustic loaf works for a dense old fashion sandwich bread or a old world czech bread. But it wont have the same soft or fluffiness youre accustomed to. The renaissance era rustic loaf is a good loaf for a soup or stew or a roast where the more dense bread can soak up the sauces or even a bread pudding.

The fact is modern bread isnt the same product as older bread that predates the additives.

>>18965775
One time I worked with dude and he was like somalian or syrian or something real fresh off the boat. And you dip the tendies in buttermilk before you fry them to bread them up...This guy was dipping them in the ranch dressing because everything is alien to him. So the chef caught him doing it and I over hear it and run over and was like give me that. and tried it and damn near shit a brick with how good it was. So im like dude try this to the chef while hes trying to chew this guy out over it. And im like nah..dude you have to try it...

Its one thing to correct somebody but Gordon Ramsey kind of started a culture where the more you shit on kitchen workers the better chef you are. So I liked to diffuse that as much as possible anyway. As someone who has a interest in food and culinary but also hates Gordon Ramseys bitch ass for self promoting and being a shit chef and spreading that as a culture in food workers.

>>18965346
>>18965015
you can feel the insecurity coming from those bread descriptions. OP, I can't help you find a good bakery, but a good start would be to find one without its own website.

>>18965015
>deep caramelization
Then it should look like caramel or dark caramel. Not like someone burnt a piece a loaf of bread and then rubbed kitchen bouqet on it to make sure the dryest bits were darker than the blackest man in central Africa. Is this bread for people who take so much cocaine they need nothing but extremes because they cannot taste or smell for shit anymore?

>>18966105
Idk I don't do cocaine unless someone wants to share theirs or I buy some

>>18965783
Does he blow the horn to let anons know that bread is ready?

I wish poor grammar was a bannable offence.

>>18966171
nope

>>18966171
Probably.

>>18965346
coffee bread????????

>>18965085
>man bun
It's time to update your observations of contemporary trends. You're starting to sound old and out of touch.

>>18967536
>implying 30 something mustache hipsters who work at bakeries still aren't wearing manbuns
Maybe it's time you left your house

>>18965015
>>18965346
pretentious hipster bullshit
they wouldnt need bullshit like this if the bread was actually good

There used to be a couple cool ones near me but the chink virus covid killed them off so there aren't any local bakerys near me now and I feel sad

>>18965056
Took to see if there are any Vietnamese bakeries in your area. They make French style breads for a very small budget

>>18965022
>>18965015
The only time I ever want crusty bread is when I'm eating soup because then I can dunk it to soften it. Every time i go out to eat and buy a sandwich on "rustic" bread it's like eating hard taffy. People think BARELY EDIBLE=GOOD when it comes to crust and I hate it.

>>18966187
*were

>>18965346
here's some bread I made with water, salt, yeast, and flour. I call it "bread"

>>18967843
good job

Do you think rye bread is burnt too, OP?

>>18965056
Douchebags who look like what you are described are exactly the kind to throw a fit over someone cutting the crust off a sandwich.

>>18967904
the bread in op clearly has burnt crust you blind cunt

>>18967924
You can tell by the pixels

>>18967942
I can tell you're an idiot.

>>18967843
Hey that's some pretty good looking bread anon.

>>18967767
You have a weak jaw

>>18967997
Thanks anon. Was my first loaf!

>>18965015
Sneeded Country

>>18968008
My jaw is fine. I just don't derive any enjoyment from bread with crust that thick and chewy. At best it offers a contrasting texture against the crumb, but usually it's just a hassle.

>>18965783
>paint darkens with time
>none of that bread looks half as black as the stuff in OP

>>18965015
Slightly on the dark side, but not yet burnt.

>>18965783
Early hipsters

>>18967950
Lol
Lmao, even

>>18965056
>No petite French girls with berets and black and white striped shirts and red lipstick going "hon hon hon"
brehs whats the point of going on...

>>18965015
i make bread like this, it is really good

>>18965794
>>18965843
like how crippled?

>>18965346
I bake sourghdough all the time. Nice burnt bread.
>>18967904
No because I have eyes.

>>18965015
>doesn't like charred crust

OK, grandpa, I'll go ahead and just lightly sear your steak, too.

>>18968965
This is exactly what a guy with a manbun would say thinking he's being manly, but with a voice that sounds more like Perez Hilton lol

>>18966105
Bread like this is more of a conversation piece. You're not supposed to eat it.

>>18965015
Fuck I hate hipsters.

>>18966171
it's just an oral fixation

>>18965015
What kind of faggot doesn't like crust? It's the best part of the bread.

You should go in and smash a bottle of hoppy IPA over their stupid fucking hipster heads. The bearded cunts.

>>18966171
Other way round.
When the bread is baked, he stops tooting

>>18969247
Nice

>>18965346
Espresso? huh?

My bread is even darker, but the crust isnt hard because i paint the baked loaf with enough water. Its crunchy like chips.

>>18967904
da fuq?

>>18965726
So you don't know anything about bread and are too retarded to use Google to find another bakery? Good thread. Really shows your LA side

>>18965015
>>18965046

Trashy Amerifatlardian plebs. I bet you are not even white.

>>18965406

The thing is, trash considers soft, sweet, cakey ''bread'' bred these days, and anything like a proper ''rustic'' homemade sourdough bread they consider hard. What's soft for you, which middle of sourdough bread is, for these subhumans that is still hard.

>>18965162

Hi cuck

Once you learn how to bake these kind of breads, it will take you almost the same amount of time as the ''quick breads you bake all the time.''

I thought bakeries don't have websites or huge boards you can look at in line? Hmm....strange

>>18965346
The edges look burnt. If the bread just has this color and doesn't taste like burnt crust then go fuck yourself with a rake, baguettes are better and less pretentious.

>>18965015
I bet you cut the crust off wonder bread.

>>18965056
>I just want some good bread with 4 ingredients. It shouldn't be this hard
It isn't hard, just do it yourself. Anybody can make bread. Do you not know how to operate an oven or something?

>>18967843
Post ingredient ratios please, my go-to recipe is flour water milk shortening butter yeast salt and sugar and I'm tired of it, it's so much. Link or text of recipe please bro

>>18967843
Nice bread anon. I made some recently as well. It was good.

Hipster hard bread is the biggest fag meme since bacon sundaes, god I hate hipster sois

>>18971775
this looks delicious anon
good job

>>18965346
As if some flour is going to change the world compared to another flour. It's flour. What the fuck I hate that image.