/ck/ - Food & Cooking

they suck their own jizz sock for nutrients

>>18920353
i'm an alcoholic and i've never seen this shit, only the rib patties

>>18920353
I eat the whole chicken parmesan in one sitting sober.

>>18920353
Don't decrepit alcoholics at a certain stage just not eat? (and give themselves Wernicke-Korsakoff?)

>>18920588
Yeah wgen i get drunk I put something in the oven and pass out and throw out the burnt husk the next day, eat fast food and wait till I can drink again

>>18920588
coffee and booze for breakfast
sandwich and beer for lunch
beer for dinner
booze for a nightcap

>>18920353
For me, it was cold spam on a triscuit whole utterly shitfaced

>>18920598
Based and Churchill pilled

>>18920353
>ITT: food decrepit alcoholics eat
prosciutto on a cracker.

>>18920602
Just the redneck version of >>18920609

>>18920588
Your appetite disappears and you feel too full to even eat something like a cracker despite eating nothing the day before.

>>18920617
That's a great money saving tip.

>>18920353
I dont blame alcoholics. Im morbidly obese and use food to drown out the blaring anxiety in my head. When i drink, alcohol does a 2000% better job. Which is why i seldom drink because it would be almost impossible to not want that calming effect constantly.

>>18920619
not with the amount you'll spend on booze

>>18920588
Yeah but that's real late stage, non-functioning shit.

>>18920588
I gained like 20lbs when I stopped drinking everyday. When you’re truly a alcohol you really only eat one meal a day. Breakfast is a no go because you’re too hungover/ withdrawing to eat. Lunch is typically more of a snack, maybe a cup of noodles or a tuna sandwich if you’re hungry.
The only real meal is dinner after you have a couple of drinks after work. I tried to cook but sometimes you just want to focus on drinking instead of making a meal. Frozen lasagna is a pretty solid meal for the perpetual booze hound, carbs, veggies (kinda), meat and cheese. Hits all the major food groups.
My advice to anyone still living this lifestyle is take a multivitamin and eat bananas or potatoes, potassium is important.

>>18920979
kino lifestyle

>>18920979
Why would I take advice from a retarded alcoholic like you. No thanks fatso.

>>18920391
I’m also an alcoholic and I love the ribs but the sauce is way too sweet

>>18921002
Ok now that is lost all hope tier food.

>>18920602
I would boil pasta, forget I didn’t have pasta sauce, try and drunkenly come up with something, then just give up and eat the dry pasta. This occurred frequently.
Also honey nut cheerios but I didn’t have milk so I’d use orange juice or sometimes half and half.

>>18921018
holy based

>>18920993
Are you asking me why would you take the advice of someone who used to drink everyday about how to avoid malnutrition while drinking everyday?

>>18921002
i use those to make poorfag McRibs. Just add a bun, onion and pickle.

>>18921018
Just mix butter in. I used to have butter pasta like once a month as a kid.

>>18921025
I’ve scaled back recently
>>18921037
Had the same, rancid stick of Viral Farms butter in my top shelf that I kept forgetting to replace and never got drunk enough to use that. However, figuring out olive oil and garlic was like discovering fire.

>>18920353
I used to work at this one spot downtown in the city I live in that was right in the middle of a triangle created by the homeless shelter, the bridge the homeless people slept under, and the blood/plasma donation center.

Every day this one guy would come by and hang out right outside begging for change and using the change to buy tall cans of beer until at a certain point he'd buy one of those little cans of vienna sausages and eat maybe 1 or 2 of them before passing out in the middle of the damn sidewalk.

Day after day after day...

Then one day I never saw him again.

>>18921047
based guy

This thread is a great reminder of why I should stop drinking but I probably won't because quitting is for losers and I'm not a loser.

>>18921047
>Then one day I never saw him again

How do you think they make those sausages?

wash these down with some coke. these are the best gas station meats I've had

>alcoholics
>eating food

>>18921127
Early stage alkies get real fat from booze and impulse eating, usually impulse eating fast food or frozen garbage. Mid tier alkies will just be their normal weight, fat or skinny. Late stage alkies go full skelly.

>>18920353
I make easy to prepare dishes: bake store bought sausages, grill open cheese sandwiches under broiler, simmer frozen pelmeni etc.

Food hack to pull one over on these globohomo food conglomerates: buy the oncor dinner that's nothing but chicken patties. Per chicken patty its far far cheaper than just buying the bag of frozen chicken patties. Its the same fucking patty. That's how you know all this food inflation and prices in general is fake bullshit they're just charging what they feel like.

>>18921137
I drank 750ml a day for 10 years and was skinnyfat. Lost 20 pounds in 3 months when i stopped

>>18920979
It's scary how accurate this is, I just spent last week binge drinking and every day was exactly like you described

For me, it's Ritz crackers, some cheddar cheese, and the cheapest alcohol you can find.

>>18921617
$8.99 tartov vodka 1.75 liters is the cheapest I know of in my area.

reporting in

>>18920979
This hits too close to home

>>18921036
I'm on keto, I can't eat the bun. Just the whole box of encour ribs every evening.

>>18921137
I think the only thing that keeps me from tipping into the late stage is that my last remaining productive intrest is cooking; I'll buy a bunch of stuff at the weekly grocery trip and then maybe once a week at ~4am I'll force myself to prepare a meal that I planned out while sober, making enough to eat for a few days

>got laid off
>spent 2 weeks drinking about 17 beers a day on average
>frozen pizza every day
>blood in my shit, asshole is on fire
>wake up random times each day/night in agony wanting to die
>just lay in bed/couch awake for like an hour
>walk around the house and finish off any flat warm half finished beers
>finish off any in the fridge just to make it through
>once that wears off I don't want to die anymore so I go walk to get more beer
>drunkenly stumble to gas station for frozen pizza when I'm hungry
livin la vida loca

>>18920353
I eat alot of these, they come in many different flavors and are cheap, and easy to make while drunk also better than boxed mac and cheese

>>18921881
based

>>18921836
you just described my life

>>18921881
kino

>>18920391
chicken parm is lit

>>18920979
multivitamins don't contain enough

>>18921881
Are you saying getting fired made you start drinking?
That working was so crucial to your self-worth?

>>18920979
Take a B Complex

>>18920979
My advice is to quit drinking
t. alcolholic for 3 decades now

The best food when drinking and when waking up with a hangover is OATMEAL.
The only real negative side effects are feeling full and having to take massive shits. But since I almost always have to take a shit when I wake up from a hangover, it's actually a positive because the mass of an oatmeal shit is actually kinda pleasant.

>>18920353
I do not eat that

>>18921824
well, if on keto, you can't consume the sauce, it's full of sugar. i add this sugar free bbq

>>18923030
Ancient Slavic wisdom: If you stop working, you go insane.

>>18923014
Is it also neato and far out?

>>18923111
Sauce doesn't contain ketos, only bread

>>18921765
holy fuck this looks disgusting but i know that i would smash one when i'm pissed

thank god cannabis is slowly being recognized as a much better drug then alcohol

>>18923030
Ask me how I know you are underage

>>18920979
alcoholics become lazy with regards to food.

If you don’t have the money to get fast food delivered, then my advice is batch cook rice, get cheap raw veggies like brocolli and carrots, and a large pack of chicken breast. Then some stock cubes and sauces.

Microwave the rice, cook the chicken and veg in stock. Throw sauce on it.

If you’re hungry, you’ll like it and you will be getting a decent stream of nutrients with mimimum effort and cost…

>>18924193

>He says, suffering from late stage cannabinoid psychosis.

Sure.

Alcohol is bad, don't get me wrong, but cannabis isn't some fucking wonder drug. Moron.

>>18923030
I was drinking well before that lmao, but I didn't have enough time to drink as much as I'd like. I go back to work on monday. Last two days I've cut out the booze and been cooking, making green shakes, running, and doing full body workouts in my bootleg home gym.

>>18920979
goddamn this brought up some dark times.. so glad I quit drinking

>>18924165
It's bussin

>>18922971
i hope the hair on the right of the pic is a females hair! Otherwise gross!w0ssy

HAHA... you kids have a long way to go. This is all my best friend has taken in for 12 years..
Grew up on the streets as a kid. btw his is dying.
Potato
15 beers daily
ketchup on pasta.

>>18921881
WHAT A LIFE

>>18924911
>ketchup on pasta.
Honey Boo Boo, is that you?

>>18920588
Yup. I'm an alcoholic and try not to eat a full meal after 10am so I can get a buzz/tipsy by 8/9 after I start drinking at 6pm. The only times I've had full meals past 3pm was when I was visiting family or something.

>buy frozen anything
>nutrition facts
>9001 mg sodium

>>18921121
my friend bought us some of these while we were drinking beers as a joke. the combination of the weird fine grain texture and overwhelming taste of vinegar is pretty fucking vile but when you're drunk it's not terrible.

>>18920629
I fucking agree despite only being fat not obese and only being fat since after Covid where I would stress eat. Similar shit with porn where I would rather be an alcoholic than porn addict and stress eater

>>18924149
montenegrins take the opposite approach, interestingly

>>18922971
I try to make burgers like this and they fall apart immediately. the only difference seems to be the bread, does it make that much of a difference to have proper large bread to contain it all?

>>18921881
>can't handle 17 beers
you have to be 18 years or older to peruse this website.
reported.

meat pies, these are scary enough to wake up any drunkard

>>18924149
that's the bible you dolt. idle hands.

>>18924182
it's the sugar, like anon said. keto diets can't even eat fruit because of the sugar

>>18925470
>>18925473
the roasties of food

>>18920353
normally just don't eat so i don't kill my buzz, unless I'm about to go to bed and if thats the case top ramen or 5 hr old door dash

>>18920353
if you can still eat more than 200 calories in solid food per day you're not drinking enough

When I was drinking a moderate amount every night I was down to one meal a day, usually with small portions.
Nowadays I'll usually go a few weeks clean before ending up on a multiple day-long binge that inevitably ends with me completely unable to eat for a day or so without violently retching, which I usually do anyways even if I haven't eaten. After that a day or two of extreme discomfort and dry heaving as I recover.
Would not recommend.

>>18925107
>so I can get a buzz/tipsy by 8/9 after I start drinking at 6pm
jesus, how strong is your tolerance? I normally down 3-4 beers in the first hour and that's enough to get me tipsy, I usually end up having somewhere between 15-20 by the end of the night

>>18925453
damn good to know I'm a failure even as an alcoholic

>>18920979
>My advice to anyone still living this lifestyle is take a multivitamin and eat bananas or potatoes, potassium is important.
What happens if you run out of potassium?

>>18927468
Dick swells up like a balloon and your blood turns to wood.

My aunt is a late stage alckie, I really wish there was some way to drop the bottle, she's drinking herself to death. Maybe seeing her drunk when I was a kid was the event that made me a full teetotaler.

>>18927527
>dick gets bigger
I'm listening...

>>18921002
they way they form the meat into "ribs" is proof they're laughing at you.

>>18928170
Kind of like this on cor shit from a hotel room

>>18928144
Does she want to stop? As a 10 + year alchy myself, my choice. I'm not stopping yet. Sometimes I regret it but not often. Just when I bug/hurt others, which isn't really ever.

If there's one good thing about her life, its likely keeping you and your siblings, if you have any, off the sauce. Which is wonderful. Silverlining!

>>18925162
Won't you just piss it out anyways

>>18924911
If he's your bestie, how are you doing? Healthy funtional people don't often befriend super addicts for 12 + years. Unless its just touch n go contact, even that gets tiresome tho.

>>18928182
salisbury steaks are morbid

>>18924787
Why is this guy so fucking cool and was that movie any good? Doc. W.e.

I did your shit the opposite way, lol. Job got so wild and stressful, after 5 years I started boozing on the job. Worked 16 hours a day for at least 28 days a month. Didn't have enough time to sleep as much as I'd like, so I'd booze with all my awake time. Shit probably took a decade if not more off my life, lol. Booze and energy drinks if I got too toasty. Eventually the continued drunkenness lead to me actually taking some time off and telling them to fuck themselves, so sayonara that job.

>>18923030
Wagies literally lose their mind when they don't have making money for mr. goldberg to give their life meaning. Anyone whose brain is not made of glue loves getting fired.

>>18928306
Yeah bro real niggas love not having income amirite

>>18928312
blowing through your savings is epic and makes you a real 4channer

>>18920629
Try walking or other exercise, it workes even better than food or alcohol

>>18920353
$4.99 for dinner
$15 for booze

>>18928312
Unemployment benefits is more than enough to live on. They literally give you money for free for 6 months or a year, maybe longer in some places.

>>18928364
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-bUBjn_IxI

>>18928364
This is the best chicken cordon bleu I’ve ever eaten. I like to melt a stick of butter and mix it with ranch dressing and i heat that up in the microwave and pour it over top of it

>>18928725
I wish there was a place near me that made a decent cordon bleu. I can fantisize.

>>18928364
BASED

>>18928144

Fellow non-drinker here in a similar situation with my dad. If your aunt is anything like my dad, she'll get stage 4 liver cirrhosis and then she won't have any choice but to quit.

>>18920353
>be alcoholic
>not taking joy in making food in the slow cooker on your day off
>5min of prep
>house smells awesome all day
>sipping beers and getting trashed
>finally the drunk hunger sets in
>remember i have stew, stroganoff, curry or something ready to eat
>dish some up with some rice
>box up the rest for other days in the week where I'm too drunk to cook

>>18921881
>getting laid off
>when the entire global economy is buckling under a staff shortage in all sectors
>where simply being warm and vertical gets you a job basically wherever you want
>employers throwing pay rises and incentives to get you to stay because they're sick of people quitting after a month to upgrade to a better job
apply yourself dipshit
jobs are literally everywhere at the moment and the pay they're offering keeps going up
promising to stay at least 6 months means you can easily ask for $30/hr just to keep a desk warm
trades/labor are always hiring and pay 6 figure salaries
buddy is a mechanic and makes $80/hr, dude is fucking struggling to get anyone to fucking help him because dipshits like you wont apply for jobs

>>18921881
>half finished beers
you're not an alcoholic
a true alcoholic tries to sip the empty bottle another half dozen times until he finally gives up and goes to the fridge for another one

>>18929309
nigger

>>18921925
The pasta sides never cook right. The rice is kino though

>>18929302
no fucking clue how people on /ck/ use the fucking slow reddit cooker. this is the fucking cooking board. if you don't cook, then talk about fast food, that's tolerable. but for fucks sake, talking about slow cookers here is like going on /tv/ and talking about anime. or going on /fit/ and talking about bowflex. you're a fucking loser.

>>18929309
shut the fuck up delusional boomer retard

>>18928279
>Why is this guy so fucking cool and was that movie any good?
Mads Mikkelsen is ALWAYS kino. In fact, most Danes can't help themselves and just shit out kino whenever they feel like it.

And yes, the movie is quite good. Mix of depressing but ultimately a happy, fulfilling ending.

>>18923051
>The best food when drinking and when waking up with a hangover is OATMEAL.
Close. It's actually Waffle House's loaded chili cheese has browns washed down with about a half gallon of red Gatorade. Instant hangover cure.

Not an alkie, but a recovering fatass here and my go-to shitty meal I would "cook" for myself was the prosciutto and mozzarella roll ups from Walmart, while heating up a slow-cooked beef with gravy or au jus cold meal, plus pic related, with a half cup of sour cream. Yes, I would eat everything and yes I would feel like shit waking up the day after.

I've lost almost 30 lbs since January 1st though so I'm recovering.

>>18929726
Pic related, the beef tips in question.

>>18929751

>>18929309
This. You literally can just walk up and get hired the same day!

>>18920353
Just out of curiosity how much do you guys drink a day, or at least how much do you drink when you are drinking?

>>18925722
SHUT UP BITCH MEATPIES ARE GOOD

>>18929316
Is it true? People who know how to cook never slow cook anything? There's no recipes that call for "now put it in a pot and simmer for 6+ hours"?

>>18920353
idk wtf OP is on about but i only cook when im drunk

>>18920595
>wait till I can drink again
you're doing it wrong! i woke up and there's now a drywall shaped hole in my head from trying to find the bottle i hide from myself

>>18921127
>t. pro drink

>>18924218
>minimum effort
You're grossly underestimating what it would take to choke that down unless there's another sauce you're addicted to. Rice definitely ain't it in such a state.

why is everyone on this board an alcoholic? is this phenomenon only on /ck/?

anyway, I became an alcoholic during the pandemic and switched to weed, I feel much better physically

>>18930508
It's 4chan in general, not just /ck/. Most of us lead pretty bitterly depressing lives.

>>18921102
Its an ouroboros.
you eat the sausage you die from eating the sausage you are made into sausage someone eats you they die they are made into sausage.

>>18930568
I miss al/ck/oholic threads.

>>18920353
In my experience they exist on pot noodles and bread and butter.

Currently shaking like hell and eating terrible butter pasta.
>>18923051
This is what I usually eat when I can finally stomach something too. Just oatmeal with a bunch of garlic in it.

>>18930399
What is this creature?

>>18929840
Those 1.75 liter bottles of shit vodka. One lasts me 2 days, 3 if I'm being a good boy.

>>18929726
Good on you. Keep it up amigo.

>>18929711
Awesome, thanks. I'll check it out now.

>>18930715
Sexy_B0rsch Chaturbate

>>18930332
I've fucked up many a meal when I cook drunk. What's your go to?

>>18923111
if you eat like one meal a day sweet baby rays makes a no sugar added 4 carb per 2 table spoon bbq sauce that tastes better than the no sugar.

I used to be a pretty solid alcohol. 750ml daily for about 4 years. All good now but it ruined 2 things for me.
>I only enjoy cooking while I'm drunk
>I only can play vidya while I'm drunk
Unfortunately/fortunately I only drink about once every few weeks socially.

>>18931201
Likewise, but for me it's music. No point unless I'm wasted.

>>18920353
Their riblet patties are pretty good, not gonna lie.

>>18929309
Globo

>>18928349
You're a lying sack of shit. Not only does it NOT work, but it actively increases said anxieties by being out in the public eye.

>>18931201
>>I only can play vidya while I'm drunk
I hate that I allowed this to happen to myself.

>>18930716
Same here, but I sometimes go a few days without on weekends because I'm hiding it from my gf and that's when it's hardest to sneak to the liquor store. So far it's been surprisingly easy to hide it, but I need to stop because eventually she'll find out and then I'll be in a world of shit

>>18931250
Nice, I do this with smoking.
>don't smoke when around gf
>naturally just in a shitty mood when i'm with her because of it
>gradually, i begin to hate her

>>18931236
IDK what it is with you guys. I can't play vidya while I'm drunk because I'm a tryhard and there's no way I'm stumbling through some dark souls shit while too plastered to walk straight.

>>18931777
Just play a multiplayer game
>have thrown multiple team fights/events because I’m drunk off my ass

>>18932199
one of my favorite nights of gaming was running a raid lobby in d2 the night the raid was going away getting smashed off 9% beers and vodka, at one point i "woke up" doing the dps phase of the boss and was like "alright i need to go to bed after this one fellas"

>>18920979
The skinniest I've been in my entire life was when I was an absolute degen but social alcoholic for like a year and a half. Would never eat breakfast for the reasons you described, would just drink a couple cups of coffee and a snack around lunch time. I'd have a single small dinner of like roast chicken leg, potatoes and sometimes vegetable curry and then binge drink for like 10-12 hours between pregaming drinks in my apartment, and then going to the bar and staying past close because I knew the bartenders who let me stay while they drank.
Eventually got a physical factory job and also got shredded while on the same lifestyle. I'd get trashed every night then wake up the next morning and work for 10 hours a day and eat my single meal of the day before drinking a 6pack and going out to drink in the bar with my fellow degenerate friends. Never got "bitch tits" or nothing, I was in great shape but would just be super groggy in the mornings.

>>18929840
2-3 330ml cans of strong beer, sometimes less but often more. I sometimes delude myself into thinking that buying a bottle of whiskey or brandy is cheaper/easier to control but then end up tanking half the bottle after a single glass. Cheap hard liquor truly is the work of the Devil

>>18929840
6-12 sugar free vodka soda a day

>>18929840
I binge drink, usually at least six shots worth of various liquors in about an hour while watching Chinese cartoons in bed. Around that point I tend to black out and have no idea how much I drink after that, but I usually watch at least two episodes that I don't remember.

>>18932363
>blacking out after six shots
Bruh that's six beers. Skill issue.

>>18929840
I don't drink every day, but when I do it's usually pic related (375ml) plus a beer or two.

>>18920353
there's literally nothing wrong with frozen lasagne

>>18929840
When I was drinking I would drink 3-4 bottles of wine each evening. Barely ate, got put in hospital and DTs and all.

>>18932509
White wine or red wine?

>>18920353
On*Cor makes lasangna? I've never seen that before.

>>18920607
>Based and Churchill pilled
Gem

>>18921610
>>18921818
>>18924806
>>18932270
Kino, the lot of ya

>>18924884
>>18924884
Truly outstanding work, detective

>>18923055
That's only what you remember not doing kek

>>18932473
>he doesn't know

I bbq all the time, smoked brisket, chicken, ribs, burgers, hot dogs, all year long could be snowing out and there I am drunk and grilling with a beer in hand and shorts on

>>18932363
>Chinese cartoons
Which ones?

>>18932363
When I first started drinking I would be in my bed in my cold ass house watching random nostalgic youtube and the first two Eva rebuilds over and over while shooting this dogshit Mexican vodka called Oso Negro. The innocent days.

>>18932473
>>18932633
The stouffers is better than any restraunt stuff and I've been to some pretty fancy schmancy ones plus with the stouffers it can be made anytime and jazzed up without the pretense of some annoying waiters.

>>18930722
You're welcome anon. Mads' entire filmography is kino honestly. I recommend checking out "The Hunt" as well if you've never seen it. Be careful though, as it will make you hate women and modern society even more.

>>18930720
Thanks bud.

>>18929840
I was sober on the weekdays but at my worst I would average a handle of vodka and a six pack of decent beer.
Thankfully I managed to get that particular monkey off my back for a less harmful one - DUDE EDIBLES.

My dad has noticed me picking up drinking in the last couple of years and is pretty upset by it. He was an alcoholic and his oldest brother died in his 50's from it, so I get that he's a bit sensitive about it. I don't think I really drink a lot though. Usually I only drink like once or twice a week, and that could be as little as a few White Claws or something. Vodka fucks me up though and I'll get into that probably every couple of weeks or so.

I hate how much more fun everything is with alcohol.

>>18932760
>schmancy
I love ck, it's like listening to my 60 year old mom talking when she was 40. Fun and silly

>>18923111
I tried that and found it disgusting. I just made my own sauce which was more of a steak sauce but still worked well for BBQ type stuff.

>>18929309
this is true i just walked into a factory and gave the first guy i saw a firm handshake and now i'm the manager

>>18931155
>the no sugar tastes better than the no sugar
?

>>18930324
yeah slow cookers are for ja/ck/ style retards that just dump a bunch of cans of shit into it and just turn everything into slop. they're pointless. just use a big pot, you don't need a whole fucking appliance

>>18930399
alcohol inhibits your body from absorbing nutrients

>>18924997
no, probably swedish.

>>18929840
8-12 beers if i'm not going out. usually over a long period of time, i dont have to work

>>18932927
I think you're missing the use case of leaving something simmering/warm while unattended, which if it is during work or sleep is effectively free time.
Yes if I am actively cooking it I'll just go for the pot too as well.

>>18932950
Emphasis on inhibits, not prevents. The B-vitamin supplements are intended to maximize whatever is absorbed.
In the context of being an incorrigible alcoholic regardless, it is valid harm reduction (if not much).

>>18924201
Ask me how I know you are dead inside

>>18921824
Stop doing bullshit fad diets like keto, then.

>>18933320