/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Thai

>>18880242

italian? chinese?

>>18880242
does that order come with a complementary adult diaper?

i'm usually paralyzed by all the options. sure, some naan bread and chai tea is a no-brainer, but what to do for the main course?

do i get the dark red diarrhea? or the bright red diarrhea? or the yellow diarrhea? or the brown diarrhea? or the green diarrhea?

>>18880257
Praise Lord Kek. I too hate all Indians on account of redpilled beliefs.

>>18880261
right on brother

>>18880263
It's nice that we have this community where we can come together and validate each other in our hatred of those we consider inferior to us :)

Keep eating that shit and youll start smelling like them lmao

>>18880265
ur literally reading my thoughts

>>18880271
the smell come from teh cooking not from the eating. as long as you just eat you will be ok

>>18880242
I didn't believe the white people don't like spice meme until I realised that most white Americans hate curry

>>18880242
mmm, rice and .. goop and goop 2: revenge of goop

>>18880242
a good serving of butterchicken, cheese naan, and indian rice is pretty much heavenly

>>18880242
My problem is it all looks disgusting, like cat barf that was seasoned with lots of paprika to make it orange or red.
What meal should I order to try?

>>18880260
you get this:
>>18880318

>>18880257
>>18880260
>>18880271
>>18880307
>>18880320
Why is the food board full of tastelets?

malaysian slop > pajeetslop > japslop >>>>>>>>>>>> thaislop

>>18880242
>Oh boy it's mystery gravy with mystery meat again! My favorite!
Indian is the least interesting food ever made and the only reason Brits like it so much is because they think untoasted bread with margarine is "part of dinner"

I always associate indian food and curry with the poors because it looks like something that would be served in prison or a soup kitchen.

>>18880242
Based and pajeetfoodappreciator pilled

>>18880327
The average user on this board is an American. That's why every post is either fast food slop or racebait. No one here actually eats nice food it's just microwave meals and fast food delivery

>>18880242
Okay retarded. Let me know when you try some good American BBQ or get a Peking duck. No other take out is worth it. If you can't/won't make everything else, you're not going to make it.

>>18880242
You're right anon, don't listen to these tastelets
Indian food at its best is the best cuisine on the planet.

>>18880242
Agreed. Other cuisines may be better served to the table, but they don't stand up to delivery the same way Indian does. Steaming in a muggy tinfoil container only improves their dishes.

>>18880275
Wrong, it makes my pee smell like what I ate too.

>>18880242
>indian restaurant, somewhat upscale
>$15 for 200ml worth of chicken and sauce

why.

>indian gives me the runs
Wrong. The spices are cleansing your intestines of all the fast food goyslop.

>>18880378
Your pee smells like semen?

>>18880380
the sauce took a lot of ingredients and a long cook time to prepare.

>>18880242
Yeah at making you sh it your pants

>>18880432
have had indian a few times, never had diarrea afterwards

>>18880242
it's nice once in a while, but gets kinda boring and samey pretty quick.

They use cashews a lot and I'm allergic

>>18880242
>Indian mogs all other takeout options
It's the five guys of international cuisine, tastes amazing but way too expensive for what you get.

>>18880465
hah, get fucked subhuman
jk, idk try to convince them to make one batch cashews free just for you, pay accordingly

>>18880242
Sure, if its made by Indians and not Pakis

>>18880242
"Four naan, Jeremy? That's insane!"

>>18880477
>too poor for indian takeout
I feel sorry for you.

We don't have an indian or pakistani place in my town in Texas, I'd like to try it. We had a greek place that was great with a very friendly greek family who ran it, but the libs on the city council destroyed it by shutting down the city for coof.

>>18880509
if american pakis are in any way similar to spanish pakis, don't give them a cent, ever, they're the most scamming piece of shit people I've ever met, all of them

>>18880242
>Willingly eating pajeet food made by Anita Gupta and Deepak kumapanda
>Willingly getting liquid diarrhea (as food and out of the butt)
No, thanks.

>>18880530
your loss, cause that shit is good as fuck

>>18880478
>try to convince them to make one batch cashews free just for you
>pay accordingly
with your life most likely

>>18880482
Bread ordering is truly a minefield. Happened to me the other day, I asked for three parathas because in my experience they're only like the size of your hand, ended up with a gigantic tinfoil package with each one being about 15 inches wide.

>>18880242
Anyone been to Tayabbs in London? Went for a work do and it was the some of the best South Asian food I've ever had

>>18880242
Is this before or after eating? I can never tell with Indian food.

reading this thread I've realised the American shart jokes are actually real

>>18880242
Indian food is the cuisine where buying takeout/going to a restaurant always makes sense over making your own

>>18880587
Absolutely. You just can't replicate that every-ingredient-mixed-with-dirty-hands flavor at home.

>>18880587
Takeaway naan bread is impossible to do at home

>>18880581
it do be like that

>>18880581
Americans eat bland spiceless Mexican food and have diarrhoea for a week afterwards

>>18880242
I love Indian food, but around here if you dont go to the lunch buffet its pretty expensive compared to Chinese, Italian, or Mexican take out.

>>18880649
Thats a fat brit you faggot

>>18880242
The bread sucks on takeout, though. mfw I actually sat down at an Indian restaurant and had proper naan, light and crispy on the outside. It's the same as getting takeout toast, gets all soggy. Still, great cuisine. Get a side of mixed pickle, slice up the bits and mix it into your curry if you like a bit of zing.
pic unrelated

>>18880661
That's because it's not absolute ass.

>>18880666
Those are my balls inflating with cum when I see your mom

>>18880673
Indian food is decent, but lets not get carried away here. Its spiced slop.

>>18880651
the whole "white people don't season dey food" meme is based on actual white American eating habits

>>18880651
>>18880689
Americans developed "bland" food because of refrigeration. Other cultures developed their cuisines based around needing to make do with ingredients that were past their prime. You can make wilted or even slightly rotten vegetables palatable with tons of spices and heavy sauces. You can do the same with weird and rancid meat. Modern cuisines are better for having fresh ingredients, but let's not fool ourselves over the origins.

>>18880682
Still better than absolute ass (Chinese, Mexican).

>>18880730
No

>>18880723
Jesus that's some cope right there

>>18880738
Seethe and dilate. I'm not wrong.

>>18880732
Take the curry pill anon. Don't make me send the police!

>>18880730
>chinese
you mean white people chinese
>mexican
you mean white people mexican

there is no shitty white people quality indian its always an expensive pretentious restaurant

I never get diarrhea from eating indian or mexican, is it just a meme or do most people truly have weak stomachs?

>>18880981
just americans it seems

>>18880981
some cooks have poor hygiene it is rare but it has happened to me, my guess is scratching their butthole/balls or taking a piss/shit and not washing their hands
funnily enough never has happened to me on a n indian, but I've eaten like 3 times there vs plenty in other kinds of restaurants

>>18880981
the board is just full of white trash midwesterners who have never left their home state and find indian food is scary

>>18881035
>T.seething coastlet

>>18881035
This

for me its the greek diner

>>18881035
I live in a mansion in connecticut. Indian food is for working class office workers who like to pretend their middle class and flex by overpaying for slop.

>>18880810
White people make better ethnic food than the people who supposedly invented that cuisine. Your brown grandma just throws together the recipe that was handed down to her. She never thinks about the balance of flavors, proper techniques, or quality ingredients. Any idea of that ever happening has been retconned by seething jewtubers.

>>18880337
>No one here actually eats nice food
Indian food nice food, lmao. Get fucked street shitter

>>18881077
>live in a mansion
hey! youre just like everybody on 4chan

Maybe if it isn't overpriced out of the ass
>but muh sacred ingredients
Chinks and spics use the same fucking ingredients and their takeaway are a quarter of the price

nothing like a double portion of a left hand curry

>>18880327
sorry I just dont like overprocessed food
I prefer my dishes with few ingredients and little steps

>>18881013
food poisoning at restaurants rarely comes from the staff personal hygiene
its ingredients left outta the fridge all day fostering germs doing it

>>18881166
youre food is just some revised culture vulture shit you kidding.....the fuck you talkin about tater tot casserole?

>>18881166
forgot pic

>>18880242
poo in the loo

>>18880242
>+25$ for 1 small chicken breast, 1 plate of rice, a naan bread and the curry
I don't know what prices are like in other places but it's too expensive here. tastes good but not worth the price

>>18881321
in the last 45 years I have only got food poisoning once from a restaurant/FF place. bought a subway sandwich put it in my lunch box for later. it was in there 4 hours not refrigerated.

>>18880482
>>18880560
I could honestly go to the Indians just for peshwari naan on its own

Chicken vindaloo with a garlic nann, I'll make my own rice thanks, don't charge me another $4 for it

I never realised how insecure white Americans are over not being able to eat spicy food

i would like to introduce /ck/ to my favourite Indian restaurant

>>18881887
whoever's handling their socials definitely lurks here (if it's you fuck off)

>>18881616
Are Indians allowed to cook Pakistani naan?

>>18880320
Butter chicken or tikka are good places to start. If you like lamb, then lamb rogan josh might be something you'd enjoy. Muttar paneer's pretty good for cheese n peas. Veggie pakora are like fritters that range in size from a swollen testicle to Rocky Dennis' face.

I dunno man, up to you. They usually give a description in the menu, for the benefit of wypypo.

>>18880242
Indian food is incredibly based, but I almost always make it at home rather than getting it from a restaurant.

>>18880380
>indian restaurant, somewhat upscale
This is where you fucked up. A good Indian restaurant will seem disorganized, the ambiance won't be nice, and ideally there will be sauce spilling everywhere. The best Indian food around here is, and I'm not kidding, at a gas station.

Here's a delicious egg curry I made

>>18880257
>>18880260
>>18880271
>>18880307
>>18880320
>>18880432
>>18880530
Maybe you shouldn't have nuked your gut microbiome with decades of goyslop you stupid amerimutts
>>18881891
nah mate i'm from queensland

>>18881916
Here's a delicious aloo gobi matar I made

Here's a masoor dal I made

Rajma masala (kidney beans)

A Chana Dal I made

>>18881887
You think you're different but you're the same.

Lately I've been having egg dosa for breakfast every day. I haven't been taking many cooking pics lately though so i don't have one to show you guys. Sorry bros. I'll try to do a cookalong thread making masoor dal this weekend.

>>18881913
I'm hoping our good Indian place stays open long enough to bring back the buffet. They'd always go all out, and if the dinner rush died early, the chef or the owner would go around asking the regulars if they wanted anything that wasn't included in the buffet, or any dessert. They did go for the ambiance so they can jack up the price $5 on the buffet - still cheaper than the upscale Chinese place.

Making a curry tomorrow bros, it's the best sloppa you can make that is super cheap.
Takeouts are expensive as hell for what they are so I'll make one just as hearty,

>>18881935
>upscale Chinese place
Oof, another cuisine where the upscale places are never as good. Ideal Chinese restaurant has shitty chairs, a bunch of old ass Chinese people, and staff who seem to be hearing English for the first time in their lives when you order.

>>18881939
What will you make my sloppa pal?

>>18881918
If you eat a lot of fenugreek, especially if you're drinking with your meal, it will seep out of you the next day. If you're the one cooking with it, especially if you're using hing instead of onion and garlic, the smell will take more than one shower to completely wash off. Almost better to get some allspice-heavy bay rum and lean into it.

>>18881941
Most of the places I've been, I'd agree, but our cheap Chinese is terrible. Susie Q's always happy to see us, but we go there for cheap beers and to learn how to say terrible things in Mandarin.

>>18880242
a lot of the good dishes like butter chicken are way too fatty
and the spice profile for the rest... eh... flavourful, but the digestive issues they cause make it so you lose a significant number of nutrients desu. Not good. For me, the ideal takeout is shawarma

t. poo

>>18881924
that looks great
>>18881928
I said that because the restaurant is in Gosford which is 800km from me, cunt

>>18881950
The hot sauce at our local shawarmery/hsp shack could bull elephant in heat, mid pump. I don't know if it's in the spicing, or if it's basically just toum with scorpion peppers or what, but anything past a medium seems to hit the gut harder and faster than anything else that I've ever eaten.

But yeah, good call, good call.

>>18881939
I've never been able to get it like restaurants sadly
I can pour as much cream, butter and ghee as I want and it's just not the same
BIR is just too difficult

>>18881951
You're a lying cunt, Bruce, like your father and his father before him. All the way back to the day that first con shagged that first abbo, and named the whelp Lying Bilby Campbell.

>>18881950
>a lot of the good dishes like butter chicken are way too fatty
Even at restaurants I generally avoid the really ghee/butter/cream/coconut milk heavy dishes. At home, my Indian dishes usually work out to about 1/2 TBSP of oil per serving. I like to make cucumber raita and/or kachumber as side dishes.

>>18881973
yeah I go for mild on hot sauce, for me its: tahini, garlic sauce, and maybe tzatziki if they're doing a greek-adjacent thing

>>18881977
>he doesn't use the forbidden oil to make his Indian food

>>18881989
Do you mean mustard seed oil?
I only use that for regional cooking, not BIR

>>18881989
...gutter oil? I thought that was a chinese thing

>>18881992
Yes.

>>18881993
Mustard oil. It's banned as a food product in the USA. They still sell it at all the Indian grocery stores, but it comes with a "for external use only" warning.

>>18880275
>the smell come from teh cooking not from the eating. as long as you just eat you will be ok
This is completely wrong.
Curry will come out in all of your excretions
>sweat
>skin oil
>piss
>poo
If you eat it once, you're OK. But if you let concentrations build up by eating it over a couple or three days, you will stink. Ask an Indian and they will tell you.

source: Cooked curry daily for like a week and ended up stinking like curry for a month. My white t-shirts got yellow curry stains from my sweat

>>18882006
>Cooked curry daily for like a week and ended up stinking like curry for a month. My white t-shirts got yellow curry stains from my sweat
I wish that were me

>>18882006
You sound like a woman

>>18882006
Careful with that turmeric, Eugene.

>>18882021
Be around Indians for 5 seconds and you'll know what i mean

>>18882080
I've cooked and eaten Indian food constantly for the past 7 years
The worst thing about Indian food is if you don't have an exhaust hood over your cook top and that turmeric temporarily stains things

>>18880785
why are they spanking them?

>>18882091
Whatever you eat comes out in sweat since it contains traces of your dietary intake. Most things, you can't discern from your regular BO. Sometimes, things like garlic can be noticeable. But cumin and turmeric are rich in persistent VOCs and are extra pungent, so they are very noticeable.
Sometimes I add curry powder to soup after it's done and in my bowl, no cooking fumes involved. If I eat this for a few days straight (it's good so I sometimes do), my BO smells like curry.

>>18882006
That's the fenugreek, it's fucking insane. I keep it in a just in a bag in a plastic box and I can still smell it when I open the cupboard.

I don't have any problem with spicy food when it's in my mouth, i don't even get diarrhea. it's the burning shits that stop me from eating spicy food

>>18882091
Turmeric stains are based. They're all over my kitchen.

>>18882355
would getting head from an indian girl result in yellowed penis?

>>18880255
this. i'd rather have a meatball sub or parm or chicken parm sub or over noodles or some americanized chinese shit food rather than indian shit tier food

>>18880242
>a couple tins of slop
>might have solid stuff in it
>other looks like beans
>some rice
>some crunchy looking nuggets
>a potato?
>some onion
Eh, I'd try it.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/chef-prepared-curry-after-wiping-7745790
>A curry house chef prepared food after wiping his bottom with his hands - because he doesn't use toilet paper for 'cultural reasons', a court heard .
>Mahbub Chowdhury, 46, had an empty bottle in his kitchen which inspectors discovered was covered in fecal matter.
> "In the kitchen under the double sinks [they] found an empty plastic milk bottle which was extremely dirty and was covered with brown fingerprints.

>>18880981
I never get diarrhea from eating indian food but I did get diarrhea every time I tried to imitate some asian food with shit tons of sauces

>>18880242
*prepared with their left hand

>>18880242
Nah Indian food is kinda gay desu senpai

>>18882679
him this is interesting, in my house growing up you'd use toilet paper to get most of it and then use water for the finishing touches
once I moved out I stopped giving a fuck and just used purely toilet paper like my white friends
my family thinks its disgusting but whatever I don't feel like fingering my ass

other asians like turks use a bidet which is a better solution imo

>>18880242

No, it is just like drugs.
The first time you have it it is amazing but then you can never reach that same high again.

All of the restaurants are way to inconsistent, sometimes it is great, sometimes it is shit.

>>18880260
obviously three kinds of diarrhea with the garlic naan so you have variety and the leftovers tomorrow with your actual diarrhea you'll be having but it's still worth it. don't forget the samosas.

>>18882966
Spot on post. When I used to find new restaurants that were good, I'd get hooked the first time and get a few more times over the next few weeks. Eventually I would get a couple of unimpressive batches in a row and it would forever taint that restaurant for me.

Imagine this scenario: you're a soldier in Vietnam, sweeping through a patch of jungle with your unit. Suddenly Charlie pops out of the trees and battle ensues, 10 minutes of life or death combat, bombs are blowing up all around you, you see your Lieutenant trying to stuff his intestines back into his body while crying for his mom, your buddy is roasting gooks alive when his flamethrower pack catches a stray round and he explodes, eventually you look down and see you've caught a couple of slugs to the chest but you never even realized because of the sheer amount of adrenaline surging through your body. You lose consciousness.

You awaken some time later. It could be minutes, hours, days, even a week. You survived. You're the last living man on a battlefield strewn with corpses, friend and foe alike, of which those with the least bloated and maggot-infested have long since been scavenged by man and jungle beast alike. Imagine the smell, that rotting putrid meat smell, the dried blood rotten fruit stench permeating all around the wet ripe jungle mud and coating your nose and skin and eyes and tongue with its 100-degree tropical humidity.

That's what my shit smells like after a night of Indian food. Don't get me wrong, I love my lamb vindaloo, but some mornings I wonder if it was worth it.

>>18880509
lol I think I recognize you. Corpus Christi? I say that because I remember talking to a /ck/ anon maybe a year or two back who claimed to have no Desi food in his mid-sized Texan city. I thought that was impossible, but after a little googling discovered that Corpus Christi has virtually no Indian or Pakistani joints. You should go get some! Different spice profile, but it's actually kinda similar to Texan food in that it's mostly slow-cooked meats served with rice or flatbread.

>>18880257
Are there really people with GI tracts weak enough to get done in by Indian food? I've been eating it for a couple decades and I've never had adverse effects.

>>18880242
it's nice in the moment but knowing you won't have solid shits the next day sours it

in saturated fats

>>18880257
Weak stomach. unless you have an Indian friend order it for you, most Indian restaurants actually tone down the spice for westerners. Yeah they may ask you how spicy 1-10? That 10 you asked for he's gonna give you what he would consider a 6 or 7.

>>18880260
They usually have descriptions as to what each curry is. The most beginner friendly options are your butter chicken or tikka masala

Personally my favorite order is Lamb Saag

>>18881913
Same goes for Chinese restaurants. If it's nice and big, standalone with nice atmosphere, the food will be shit.

The best chinese food comes from those small single wide stripmall storefronts with burnt out sign lights and a couple kids doing school work at one of the 2 tables they have room for before they take your order at the counter.

>>18880560
Yeah they got my little bro with that when we went to the local place. He ordered 2 naan and a rhoti and ended up barely even using all of 1 naan

>>18883375
Imagine you are the average Midwesterner. Your entire diet from childhood has been soft bland fast food filled with corn syrup. The introduction of real food or any spice is going to completely ruin your body.

>>18880260

Lamb Vindalu

>>18881287
> overprocessed
> indian
retard it's literally spices and tomato puree with meat, it's the least processed thing you can eat

I love curry. Most weeks I make my special chicken korma and it goes down a treat, the kids even come back for seconds!

>>18883829
I didn't mean industrially processed, I meant their dishes have too many steps and ingredients and the final product looks nothing like the ingredients used, I prefer the opposite

>>18883915
>processed is when you do anything more than rub Old Bay on a steak and burn it in a dry pan

>>18883921
lel

Americans will never understand, u fortunately for them

what's an easy to make at home curry that isn't butter chicken or tikka masala?

>>18883946
I know it's more of a side dish but Saag Aloo is easy but very nice.

>>18880242
It's overrated.

>>18883946
Basic curry. You just fry some onions and garlic in butter, add curry powder and let it combine and cook for a bit, add milk. Then finish cooking seared chicken in it (thighs work great). Let the chicken simmer in there for 30 minutes. The curry powder thickens the sauce by itself so you don't have to do anything else to it.
Pile it on rice and w'Allah

>>18880242
Yeah, it's pretty nice. I like to grab a naan and tear it up into the curry for a little extra substance.

>>18880242
Actually it's probably the worst take out in my city. There's some quality restaurants, but for some reason if you don't eat at the restaurant they completely jack up the prices. I get that they're incurring more cost, but you'd think the additional volume would make up for lost margin. Not to mention it's fucking dirt cheap to make in the first place and keeps well. $15 for an order of saag paneer, gtfo with that bullshit.

If I'm having indian food at home, I'll be the one to make it. It's not that hard and way more cost effective that ordering in from one of these places.

>>18883946
>ginger
>garlic
>shallot
>cumin
>chili powder
>paprika
>garam masala
>turmeric
>cilantro leaves
>ground coriander
>cardamom
>lime
>optional fenugreek

This combined with any other ingredients will make curry. Basically all indian dishes are some combination of these spices. Experiment with adjusting the ratios of these ingredients and you will create the different curry tastes you are looking for. It's that easy.

>>18884341
ok, first I chuckled, but then I realized you're not trolling, so lets break it down, shall we?
>fry some onions and garlic in butter
first of all, not some onions, but you caramelize onions.
second, not some garlic, but garlic and ginger, and you do these separetely, only for around 30 seconds or so, otherwise you will burn them.
And no, not butter, but ghee. If you don't have ghee, use regular oil, don't use butter, lol.
>add curry powder and let it combine and cook for a bit
wait, actually good advice? well, almost. for 500g of meat I recommend 2 tablespoons of good quality curry powder, but actually I recommend adding around 200ml of passata, cooking it for a couple of minutes, and then adding spices, which then you cook a bit more to get out their true flavours.
>add milk
for krishna's sake, never, absolutely, n e v e r add milk.
add chicken, then when no longer pink, dilute everything with a bit of water
>Then finish cooking seared chicken in it (thighs work great)
total gibberish, I'm not even bother deciphering it, it does says chicken though, so no, that's the wrong time to put the chicken in.
thighs do work great though. 5 points for slytherin (that's where I imagine you would be after writing such low quality recipe)
>Let the chicken simmer in there for 30 minutes
wtf, I love dry mushy chicken? just kidding, give it 20 minutes top.
>The curry powder thickens the sauce by itself so you don't have to do anything else to it.
o boy, there we go. curry powder will not thicken the sauce whatsoever. not even a bit, nope, runny, watery, curry on your way sir!
remember that mythical passata we added earlier? yep, that's your main thickener.
>Pile it on rice and w'Allah
first of all, you forgot to add a little bit of heavy cream, just a tad to mellow the spices.
and second of all, no, don't pile it on rice, pour it into a bowl and add a bit at the time on your rice platter, next to the rice. you want easy access to plain rice to cleanse the palette.

>>18884379
>How many combinations can you make with 12 (optional 13)?
>The answer is 12!, or 12×11×10×9×8×7×6×5×4×3×2×1 = 479,001,600.
Bit complicated for a palettelet like myself.

>>18884387
sorry my way is better (didn't read)

>>18884387
>least condescending auntie

>>18880242
prices suck compared to murrcan chinese so unfortunately not.

>>18883506
this for real

>>18884379
>he forgot black salt
>he forgot jaggery
>he forgot cloves
>he forgot Indian bay leaves
>he forgot hing
>he forgot amchur powder
>he forgot fennel
>he forgot mace
>he forgot cinnamon
And that's just the stuff I quickly thought of after seeing the list

>>18880251
Is garbage and you would do better to get Indian or Chinese every single time

Are bhajjis more convenient to make at home than typical fried foods? Any particular oil to use or anything? Sauces? Those things are god tier, even the ready made ones from Aldi that you can eat from the packet are high tier.

>>18880260
>chai tea
>tea tea

lmao

>>18880242
Too much starch, not enough vegetables. Better than pizza but definitely not the best.

>>18885123
there are hella indian dishes with a lot of vegetables my lad

>>18884468
Most of those things are already in a good garam masala mix, and so many of them have very similar flavor profiles and aromas to what I listed. Also jaggery is just sugar, black salt is just salt, hing tastes like shallots/onions, etc. None of what you listed is essential, it's all tryhard bullshit. What I listed can be found in basically any grocery store.

>>18884388
So to clarify you could put basically any combo of these ingredients and make a curry dish, probably by order of my listing. Honestly just looking at it, it's probably correct to assume greatest to smallest by volume added to the average dish.

If you already cook a decent amount you should have nearly all of this in your spice cabinet and fridge. Practice by looking up a few recipes, aloo gobi, aloo palak, saag paneer, vindaloo, etc. Then you'll get a sense for "this type of curry uses more cardamom" or "sri lankan curries use way more ground coriander:" Then once you cook a few of these and understand the flavor profiles you can cook basically any dish like that by feel. It's also wild because it actually shares a lot in common with many mexican dishes and chinese food. Idk why people try to make shit so complicated.

>>18880242
Indian food is the ultimate function over form food. Looks like absolute ass but tastes amazing
Every time i have Indian food, i eat an absolute mountain worth of food but still sleep like a baby

>move to America
>cant find anymore good indian food
>it's all overpriced garbage compared to some cheap curry you can find in any corner in britain

One thing I miss about the UK for sure.

>>18885145
>jaggery is just sugar, black salt is just salt, hing tastes like shallots/onions
Wrong on every fucking count. Jaggery is sugar in the same sense that brown sugar is the same as white sugar. Black salt is mostly salt, but has a much different taste due to the other stuff in it and is not a good salt substitute. The flavor of hing is vaguely onion like, but the texture sure isn't like an onion's. You might as well say minced garlic and onion powder are the same.

While most of the things I listed are in garam masala, you're not going to be able to temper right without whole spices, and for that you're going to want things like whole cloves, whole cumin seeds, cinnamon, etc.

In conclusion, deal with it!

local chippy > papa johns > local curry house.
they use too much salt. All indian resteraunts do.

>>18885309
darts > snooker

>>18885348
This is the worst post in the history of /ck/. I don't dislike darts, but snooker is extremely based. I watch it every time I can. I live in the US, I don't even think there's a snooker table within 50 miles of me.

>>18880242
It costs $15 near me for an order of butter chicken that doesn't even fill me up

>>18885353
Sorry to upset you. I just wanted to post a pic of fat Andy Fordham really. Honestly I prefer snooker.

>>18884341
i can make basic curry, that's what i consider chicken tikka or butter chicken to be. i'm looking for something more interesting

>>18885145
garam masala is added to finish a curry, not in the beginning. Whole spices are usually added in the beginning.

indian is best in buffet form

spicy food is great but if you eat enough of it consistently it changes the way your sweat smells for the worse, especially korean

>>18883921
If you're doing something to anything, that's a process. Chopping is a process. Braising is a process. The result may not be heavily processed like dino nuggets, but processes have taken place. Completely unprocessed meat is literally a living animal.

>>18884468
Fennel, cinnamon and clove are big ones, but the rest are either more of an accent, can be subbed out without too much damage, or used heavily in stuff wypypo would never order - and will never attempt to pronounce properly.

>Ajwain, how do they work?

>>18885305
americans just don't know how to do indian
their alternative would be mexican which is rare/bad in the UK

>>18885123
>not enough vegetables
a lot of indians don't eat meat
there are plenty of indian dishes and places that are vegetable based

>>18885516
I like to have flavor sweats

>>18880751
Citation needed (protip: you're talking shit)
>>18881977
>BIR is just too difficult
It's really not. Look it up.

>>18885123
The sauce that makes up the curry is usually a very thick pureed vegetable stock made from onions, garlic, carrots, tomato and bell peppers that spices are then added to. The meat or veg of the dish is usually fried in ghee with a garlic & ginger puree, has about a tablespoon of whatever spice mixture is required for the dish and then 1/4 cup of condensed tomato paste and a couple of ladles of that vegetable stock are added in until they get the right consistency/colour. There's a lot more veg in an Indian curry than almost any other kind of takeaway.

>>18881887
>named his son Aryan
you cant make this shit up

>>18882006
so why don't nips smell then? They eat curry as well.

>>18880785
Unironically would hire them to keep gypsies in line.

>>18881918
their restaurant pales in comparison to pataks tikka masala

>>18885309
>Wrong on every fucking count
>proceeds to say I'm right

Dude the point of my post is making it so that literally anyone could walk into a midwestern grocery store and end up with curry for a beginner like the person I was responding to, not open an authentic Indian restaurant. There's no shame in using the ingredients that are most available to you. Again your ingredients are just tryhard and are not critical at all, and can be very easily substituted.

Also darts is way better than snooker.

>>18885472
So? A beginner asked how to make curry at home. I never specified when to add the garam masala, I think that's up to the person making the dish and what dish they're attempting to create.

Sure using whole spices is more traditional, but then you have to worry about eating around them/removing them or using spice bags, etc. Also you have to ask people to buy 1 off ingredients that they seldom use creating waste and unnecessary spending. You know what real people use to cook? What they have on hand. If I want an authentic indian experience, I'll go to a restaurant or travel. A beginner asked how to make curry at home, why nitpick and gatekeep?

>>18885359
In the states Indian food is comically over priced, especially if you order take out. Either find a place with a good lunch special, or learn to make your own.

>>18880242
Correct

>>18883478
>unless you have an indian friend
kek fuck no

>>18880242
My friend makes good butter chicken

>>18880320
Ohh la ti da. This guy orders pizza instead of superior indian because he wants to see a fkin curly parsley sprig in the corner like on the food he looks at online.

>>18887571
They don't eat curry nearly as often and their curry is much less concentrated.

the original shit on a shingle

>>18887526
Indians are literally the original Aryans

>>18880242
I want to try Indian take out but I don't want poo in my food.

>>18888103
but thats not real indian cuisine

>>18888104
I know it's not authentic indian cuisine if it has no poop in it

>>18882106
No background, but probably for riding a motorized vehicle in an space where you're not supposed to. Every segment is someone on a bike/scooter, and you often see roadblocks at the intersections. So I'm thinking a planned parade or something and these devils were trying to sneak through to avoid a detour.

>>18883478
When I was in India (Mumbai and surrounding area) a few years ago, nothing I ate was monstrously spicy.

>>18880242
Is that weird that I don't rly like rice? I mean, I'll eat it, sure, but I'll pick any other carbs, if possible. Maybe that's because I'm from potatoland? Anon seeks help.

>>18888190
Not even fried rice with soy sauce?

>>18888190
Are you talking about plain rice or rice used in recipes? Even though I like rice based dishes, I don't like eating plain rice.

>>18880261
I hate the society not the individual. Its a fine line

>>18880242
it mogs your toilet 10 minutes later sure.

>>18888233
fried rice is bad man. https://www.sfa.gov.sg/food-information/risk-at-a-glance/fried-rice-syndrome

>>18888303
This has to do with not following basic food safety practices.

>>18888086
looks meaty. what is it?

>>18880318
For me it’s palak paneer, bhagan bharta and roti. I’m not even vegetarian.

>>18880723
>You can do the same with weird and rancid meat
You cannot. There is nothing you can do to mask the smell of rotten meat.
Not to mention that the cultures that make good use of spices also produce preserved meats and vegetables.

>>18888830
>There is nothing you can do to mask the smell of rotten meat.
True. There are a lot of dumb takes out there along the lines of "they used a ton of spice to cover up rotten meat" about various points in history. They're wrong because 1) you can't actually cover up rotten meat taste with spices and 2) for much of history, spices were way, way more expensive than meat. If you could afford spices, you could easily afford fresh meat.

>>18883921
>not understanding enjoying simple food over sauces and pastes
Flavor complexity doesn't automatically make something better. I'd rather a nice loaf of bread than a tongue adventure. If anything Burgers are the ones obsessed with overflavored slop, which is what Indian food is.

>>18881035
seethe, brownoid. you came to our country for a reason and it's because your people are dogs.

>>18880255
What the fuck is Italian takeaway lmao
Unless you meant pizza ofc

>>18880242
>different flavors of diarrhea dumped on rice

>>18888108

>>18890838
And witha toilet paper flatbread to eat it with... And guess what, its the best food you can eat when youre really hungry.

>>18883829
authentic Indian doesn't have meat

source: all the Indian men i've had sex with are vegetarian

>>18883375
younger americans tend to not eat any vegetables or whole grains, so suddenly eating lentils will cause them to shart themselves.

it's not because of poor kitchen hygiene. The average white person's kitchen is just as filthy. Most UTIs actually originate from chicken shit. You can't eat at everybody house.

>>18880482
based peep show reference

>>18880242
palak paneer and dhal makhani. but nowadays takeout isnt worth it, you get half full containers and lesser quality, but are still expected to pay full price.
i say fuck that, ill make it myself and have a good laugh when i watch the brick and mortar places shutter

>>18890423
>>18890501

Please stop reinforcing the stereotype that white people eat flavorless food. Not every white person is like you midwestern trash.

>>18881921
Send receipt

>>18883478
have you ever been to Punjab you bloody bastard

>>18892257
What receipt?

>>18883375
It's like Taco Bell syndrome. They eat a few grams of fiber and think they've gotten food poisoning because they're slightly less clogged up than usual.

>>18880242
>Indian mogs all other takeout options
It's good, but no. There are other very good options too.

>>18880981
Agreed, never understood why those cuisines get the “flaming diarrhea” bit. If anything, diner pancakes send me to the toilet

>>18881035
>indian food is scary
because indians cook their "food" on the floor by stamping on it with their feet and touching it with their designated ass-wiping hands

>>18894194
It must be the high fibre bean and lentil content
For me, it's salty soups like ramen that cause diarrhea

>>18880242
There's an Indian place near me I've had a few times with friends (two of em are Indian). Not a big fan of the level of spice, the consistency of the rice (its very similar to your pic), or how much curry they douse the entrees with. I am very fond of the samosas they have there, though. I usually eat four of five of those and I'm pretty content.

>>18880320
Everything looks terrible when you compare it to something you find disgusting. If you instead reversed the order of mention, you'd start appetizing things you say are disgusting.

>>18891103
h-how is that a source?

>>18883837
what's the veggie on the left

>>18895656
i would kill for samosas, you taste what's in them, are they just potato and peas one or do they have other veggies too?

>>18883837
Looks pale, might be a good idea to add turmeric

Goes well with image pic related

>>18883375
I thought it was because indians used their bare hands to wipe there asses.

>>18880279
Most white americans have never tried curry in their lives and never will.

>>18896919
and nothing of value was lost

Is jaggery supposed to do this? I found some in a store and I wanted to try it, but now I'm thinking I should toss it. I cut a little off and it tastes kind of like cheap Halloween candy.

>>18896946
Gay phone, I put the pic there but it's gay.

>>18896951
>>18896946
>buys unrefined sugar
>it's unrefined
>should i get rid of it??
This planet is doomed

>>18896957
So that white void is there because it's "unrefined?"
Kill yourself. Please.

>>18896984
Nigga, it's a block of unrefined sugar, it's going to have imperfections, it's just a hole in it.
>should i throw this away
>no, it's just unrefined sugar
>KILL YOURSELF
Whoa there big boy, maybe don't ask stupid questions on the internet if you don't like getting stupid answers fucktard

>>18896995
Go shit in a street, low caste. I'll wait for the potty trained jeet to explain it.

>>18897039
Your fee-fees really got hurt huh? Throw it out for all I care, is that what you wanted to hear?
>low caste
Not a shitskin but since y'all are the only ones who care about "castes" I'll go ahead and assume you are, how about you do the needful and throw yourself in the ganges for cow jesus?

>>18884728
Incredibly shit opinion. Pad Thai or Pad See Ew is infinitely better than chow mein, i mean you're basically admitting you chow on men

>>18897053
I'm not the guy who had an existential crisis because a stranger was going to throw food away.
>Not a shitskin
Post hands

>>18880242
That will be $76 dollars plus tip please

>>18896946
Probably just an air bubble that then crystallised as it sat.

>>18897082
Neither of those are good

>>18897151
I'm concerned that the label says it has "sulfites."
I was going to use it, but I can't find any good information on this.

>>18897312
Probably the white powder used in that video the other fellow posted

>>18880242
Looks like diarrhea of different colors to me.

>>18897312
Dude just eat the damn sugar. You bought it because you wanted to try it, right?

>>18896165

dont make him sex you too and become another metric anon

>>18880242
Really depends where you are. e.g. in the UK you'd be absolutely right, the US it's far more hit and miss

>>18896946
It should remind you just a little bit of those maple sugar candies that come in the shape of maple leaves. In any case, it's used in recipes rather than as something to eat by itself.

>>18897312
Sulfites are in plenty of foods. Unless you have a sulfite allergy, and you'd already know if you did, don't worry about it.

>>18897312
sulfites can cause headaches and taste bad.

>>18898189
>Not to eat by itself
Check out the claims made by ayurvedic medicine...

>>18880785
how can you not make fun of them, everything they do is so fucking retarded and hilarious

I don't like Indian food, it makes people stinky

>>18880242
I hope you enjoy eating semen OP

>>18901122
It's the lentils, I st eat the meat in sauce types meals and you'll be fine

>>18880981
>white people

>>18880242
I just ordered some lamb vindaloo last night and I have to agree.

>>18887504
>There's a lot more veg in an Indian curry than almost any other kind of takeaway.
This. Most of the takeaways only provide a bread-type item and a meat dish. Veggie curries are often not served due to a bunch of reasons, mostly being that they spoil quickly and take-outs are hardly the innovative type. So, the veggie stuff in the menu is often paneer (cheese)-based stuff, chickpeas, and lentils. Some have eggplant, and spinach but these are mixed with paneer.

You're better off making the vegetable curry at home.

>>18901785
Chickpea curry is the most BASED curry and I will hear no dissenting opinions.

>>18902002
My recommendation to non-Indians new to Indian food is to go for chickpea curry with the fried bread (chole bhature). Indian Chickpea curry is extremely good and filling.

People who want to explore really delicious veg dishes should try: chole bhature, malai kofta, anything with paneer, jackfruit curry, and frankly the list can be endless. but i think for americans who like their fried creamy goyslop - chole bature and malai kofta are must-eats

>>18881913
are you from detroit?

>>18902022
>jackfruit curry
I made one last year after buying a big ass jackfruit. I didn't like it much though. What should the texture of the seeds be like? I made payasam with the fruit which was great.

>>18902321
You can go sabji or poriyal route. Both require raw jackfruit.

>>18880509
If you ever get the chance to go to a place with pakistani restaurants then eat dishes that pakistanis specifically specialize in. Feel like people get disappointed with paki food because they're expecting indian food and order stereotypical stuff like butter chicken when those stuff aren't really popular with pakistanis and so we naturally suck at making them.

We really specialize in the meat dishes like nihari, pulao, keema, karahi, all the different types of bbq like tikkas, chargha, and kabobs (seekh, chapli, shami, bun, etc.). Pakis in general do bbq way better than indians and as a texan you'll probably love it. Also try the naans because we're better at that too. We have more variety but try sesame naan instead of garlic naan. If they don't have sesame naan on the menu ask them to put sesames on it. It's a million times better than the garlic naans that indians eat and tastes really good with bbq

>>18883946
aloo bhujia, karahi, and keema are all extremely easy since they're all cooked the same way. For all 3 dishes you just fry onions, tomatoes, and ginger garlic paste till you have a sauce. Put seasoning. I only use like 6 which is salt, red chilli powder, turmeric, coriander powder, cumin powder, and garam masala. You can adjust the seasoning however you want. Once you have you've seasoned, you can either put chopped up potatoes and that makes aloo bhujia or you can put a meat like chicken, lamb, or whatever and that makes karahi. If you use minced meat instead that makes keema. At the end just add cilantro and jalepeno to whatever dish you decided to make. It's so easy and these were the first dishes I've ever learned to cook because you literally can't mess up

>>18880327
Mostly American basement dwellers on here.

Top 5
Turkish
indian
Mexican
Indian
Chinese
No other countrys come close

>>18903036
Based Pakistan expert.

>>18902673
I made a jackfruit curry with the seeds from a raw ripe jackfruit.

>>18903603
I'm not sure what recipe I used, I think it was something like this though: https://www.indianhealthyrecipes.com/jackfruit-seeds-kurma-curry-recipe/

>>18880242
You have no fucking idea what is inside that slop.

>>18903190
If I was your mother, I'd bitch-slap you.
What a fucking disappointment.
Also, 2 out of the top 5 are Indian (the worst cuisine I've ever had)?
Fuck me in the ass.

>>18903866
What do you mean?

>>18903190
Add Japanese Cuisine and we're good

>>18880404
The sauces are incredibly easy to make from a technical standpoint, it's basically just pan frying everything until the point of burning, deglazing, and adding a ton of spices. The ingredients are all super cheap too especially if you're just making a vegetable curry. Restaurants just charge more since white Americans don't have the palate for the food and can't make a decent copy at home. In UK Indian food is Chinese-takeout cost because everyone knows how to make it and what good quality tastes like

>>18904917
>Japanese cuisine
lol
The most notable japanese dishes are bland bastardizations of existing, better dishes

What spice am I not using at home that's not giving me that rip off restaurant smell and taste? Fennugreek? Kashmiri?

>>18905929
What spices are you using?

>>18905929
Fenugreek or Asafoetida, and ghee if you're not using it already.

yea... i'll pass

>>18906444
>filtered by shitting on the street
the absolute state of /ck/. You guys don't know shit about good food.

>>18880242
It's 2x as expensive as most other takeout options.

>>18906059
>whole coriander
>green cardamom pods
>black cardamom pods
>cinnamon stick
>whole cumin seeds
>penzey's garam masala
>red pepper flakes
toasted in the pan and then blended before use

>>18880242
I generally don't care for food whose coloring looks like literal feces.

>>18880260
get the orange diarrhea it mogs the other diarrheas so hard

>>18906929
No turmeric?

What else are you doing when you cook? What sort of ingredients my lad? How much oil are you using and what kind?

When you go to the Indian grocery store, are you supposed to call the clerk sir? Like "Hello, sir" when you walk in? Do they appreciate that, or is sir supposed to be used by the person who is doing the serving?

>>18906998
>i avoid brown food because poopy!!!
are you actually underage?

>>18907202
turmeric too, just forgot to write it

Ingredients: those spices, fresh ginger and garlic, chicken thigh, canned crushed tomato, coconut milk, yogurt, yellow onion, red onion

I marinade and grill the chicken and set aside. Dice yellow and red onion and cook down in a mix of canola and coconut oil, then add tomato paste and cook down, then add canned crushed tomato and cook down, then stir in coconut milk and then dice and add the rested chicken

I like the taste of what comes out of the pan, but it just doesn't match what every shitty indian restaurant puts out