/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Breathe between bites, not during

make sure to tell any parents you see their with children that you are definitely not a paedophile

Don’t eat the sides.

It's impolite not to swallow

>>18867350
Why not? I heard they are really good

>>18867365
They try to make you full with tasty cheap sides so you can't enjoy the expensive steak bites at the end. But if you are a monster eater by all means eat everything they have to offer

>>18867381
Ah, maybe I’ll try a bit of the sides. I am feelin hungry today

>>18867338
If there's some meat + cheese combo, avoid it
It doesn't get much better than the picanha so just focus on that
Enjoy

>>18867338
don't start randomly spouting the few portuguese words you know

>>18867396
obrigado!

>>18867396

shit advice

>>18867338
moonwalk, 360 and go to a better restaurant

>>18867338
try not to eat too much meat. since there is always someone there trying to get you to eat this meat or that meat, its real easy to get carried away

>>18867424
>this meat or that meat
its either monkey or pig so it doesnt matter

there are two main sides you should do your best to try: mini cheesebread bites and caramelized plantains. the latter are more of a dessert but in some BR steakhouses i've been to they've been served throughout the meal. both are delcious.

picanha is usually going to be the best meat on the menu so keep an ear out for that. fwiw i've found that a lot of brazilian places also do a nice lamb so if you like lamb give the lamb a shot.

>>18867338
I went to one of these places a few years ago and I never seen mfs so cheap with their meat holy shit. My plate was never not empty. Its a fucking meat restaurant and I had to beg to get more than a shaving on my plate. Never went back, the little bit of meat I was privileged to taste didn't leave much of an impression on me, all I remember is how stingy they were with the meat.

>>18867338
ask for this secret off menu item called sopa de macacao. it's something usually only brazilians order and it will garner you the respect of the staff

Enjoy the salad bar but don't go overboard

>>18867338
Are these steak houses even a thing in Brazil? Talking to a friend of mine in Brazil, just having all you can eat bacon at a buffet in a hotel he stayed at was an amazing experience.

>>18867365
I had lobster bisque at one and it gave me food poisoning
Still went back tho lol
>>18867338
Eat the chicken hearts

>>18867338
Go for the lamb chops and ask for mint jelly

>>18867533
They pair together so beautifully

>>18867533
mint and lamb is one of the reasons i got into cooking and food. as a kid i was obviously like "oh no not the cute sheep" but then i accidentally tried minted lamb chops and i became a man on that day
i didnt lose my V

Tip the valet $100 and tell him that he works for you now

>>18867542
I have the exact opposite experience. I thought it was so truly foul, I remember having a horrific night being screamed at that I wouldn't be able to leave the table until I'd finished. I gagged. Disgusting.

>>18867533
>>18867542
>>18867580
>Grew up with redcurrant jelly being served for all roasts
>Love that shit
>One day we're having lamb
>Jar of bright green jelly in a bowl
>Grab a big spoonful, thinking I'll like it just as much as redcurrant jelly, and just jam in into my mouth
I love mint jelly today, but back then it felt like utter betrayal by my parents.

>>18867604
I'm the one with the bad experience with it. My mom never made it again after that fiasco but years later I was at my aunt's house, we were staying with them while my mom and dad were on a trip out of town. for lunch my aunt said she'd make peanut butter and jelly and when I bit into it it was mint jelly. can you imagine my revulsion? I can still remember the trash can I threw it in.

The cheese bread will be the death of you, but god it’s so good

>>18867610
Now that’s just nasty

>>18867365

Yes GOYIMS eat the sides, they're super tasty!

>>18867615
Fried bananas and mashed potatoes? Don’t mind if I do

>>18867610
>for lunch my aunt said she'd make peanut butter and jelly and when I bit into it it was mint jelly

>>18867615
just wear your little hat and they won't bother you serving sides

>>18867615
>Mocking the sides
Fine, KIKE. No fried polenta sticks for you
YOU SEE THESE? IT MEANS NOT WELCOME

I’m terrible at these places cause I’ll pay 60 bucks and eat like two plates of beef stroganoff.

For some reason, Brazilian style lamb js the fucking tits. Try some. Avoid the sausage and chicken since it’s obviously cheaper. But I can’t say shit cause I’ll eat a bowl of rice and beans and only have appetite for a light serving

>>18867611
Fucking this, if you have any sides at all have the cheese bread.
Try the chicken hearts too, they're good.

>>18867476
top kek.

>>18867519
This chicken hearts are absurdly good. I was a bit skeeved at first but ate at least a dozen my first time.

>>18867365
try some feijoada or crab cake if they have. otherwise just stick to meat

>>18867396
caralho kkkkkkkkkkkkk

>>18867338
I don't know anything about Brazilian steakhouses except that in my city they opened a texas style Brazilian steakhouse. I don't know how that works or what that makes it in the end.

>>18867338
So there is a self serve salad bar, sides, and the waiters walking around with meat skewers.

You get a little card to flip over for indicating when you want meat.

Depending on where, I do recommend checking the soup on the salad bar. If lobster bisque, try that shit. It's not top tier, but it has been pretty damn good. The salad bar is just generic salad, you won't miss anything skipping this.

Their sides are pretty good, but you are there for steak, so don't get distracted.

Steaks are on the spikes in order of doneness, so they will ask you your preference when they come. Usually there will be sausages and pork and stuff in rotation. I recommend watching the room to see what is available. Ribs are great if they have them. Avoid the chicken, not worth the effort.

Overall, the steak will be good/great. There will not be perfect meat there, but it will be good enough for the cost. You will get a better steak at a high end steakhouse, but the nice thing about the Brazilian is the variety you get.

>>18867519
Really? You sure it was the bisque and not something on the salad bar?

Though who knows how long they keep that shit in the pot there. Some could be letting it get rancid or something.

a guy i knew ate so much at one of these places that his gallbladder burst and now he has to shut all the time. be careful

>>18869038
>gallbladders burst from overeating is a thing
>but only at brazilian all-you-can-eat buffets

>>18867503
Yes it is. Maybe not in small cities, but every major urban center will have several of them.

>>18867476
uma delicia

>>18869031
The bisque was the only thing I had from the salad bar, had to have been

>>18867338
order food u like and then eat the food

>>18867338
They will try to fill you up with cheap shit
Just ask for what lamb they have
Ask for what you want, don't take a sample of what they bring you, they're trying to use up the cheap shit as fast as possible

>>18867338
Do I have to tip every time they serve me?

>>18867381
so don't be a faggot and eat both

>>18871002
Yeah I agree, just telling him so he is aware of the policy

>>18867476