/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Ocky plagiarism. Pathetic. There can be no forgiveness.

>>18804634
>look at my face, im an emoji!

>>18804634
im all for sloppa but that is just disastrous
what a fucking weapon for thinking that looks anything close to appetizing

>>18804634
Thats nothing more than a snobby loaded fries. A poor munchy box imitation by a guy desperate to be a meme. Wheres the pizza? Wheres the donner meat?

>>18804674
Is this a joke? I'm not even sure this counts as a recipe, its a mess.

>>18804838
The best thing to do would be to just close it again right?

>recipe webms where nobody posts amounts or temperatures or cook times or anything
Truly I hate what tiktok has done to us.

>>18804670
>poverty pancake
>when eggs are $6 for 10
if you're broke just have oats with milk like cereal

>>18804826
I'll never understand how someone can get a job in a kitchen and not know the NUMBER ONE fucking rule about a grease fire.

>>18804848
funniest part is that 10 million views only makes you $100 on Tiktok, so they're all literally wasting their time.
You could be the most popular Tiktok slut there is and still begging for packs of instant ramen to make it thru the week cuz of how broke you are.
Zoomers are literally retarded.

>>18804845
Second best, but yes. The ACKSHUALLY best thing would be not cooking with an IED by leaving the lid off and not cranking it up to nuclear holocaust.

>>18804674
>>18804678
anyone else find the "tiktok" style of cooking videos absolutely insufferable? what the fuck.

>>18804855
Was thinking the same, it's baffling. There's the possibility that the person dousing the fire isn't the one cooking, is just someone who prepares ingredients/cleans, but this happens so many times I figure the place that hired the idiot is just desperate or cheap.

>>18804848
Its not for recipes its just to see people make food

>>18804845
The best thing to do would be to not overheat the oil until it's shooting a jet of smoke out the top. The second best thing to do would be to notice the jet of smoke coming out of the top, turn off the burner, and let it cool down. The third best thing to do if you have failed at the previous two would be to put the lid back on and turn off the heat.

>>18804862
Wait why WAS he cooking oil with the lid on, I don't think I've ever seen that? Does it heat up faster? Oil doesn't take long to heat so I can't imagine placing a lid on it.

>>18804869
This is why I don't use tiktok.

>>18804674
imagine the ridicule you'd receive for presenting this to a party of people.
jamie oliver is a fucking retard.

>>18804826
Did he died

>>18804820
>go fishing
>catch birds

>>18804658
it's a munchy box. they're popular in uk and are usually eaten drunk and shared by multiple people

>>18804670
i'd add tomato sauce and cheese on top to make a weird oat pizza

>>18804932
How does he get out?

The official incel identification video

>>18804951
I should clean my frying pan.

>>18804955

>>18804820
thought he was just trying to get something out of his beak and then he fucking ripped his whole head off

>>18804959

>>18804634
This thread clearly needs some hanging ducks

Why do they do this?

>>18804674
There are so many things wrong with this, but let's start by pointing out that thyme doesn't pair with fucking grapes.

>>18804678
this is even worse than watching one of fat Ian's videos
>>18804818 fuckin stupid dog needs a beating

>>18804969
hahaha get the fuck outta Dodge

>>18804975
Looks like some kind of "team building excercise" from Japan or maybe Europe. That's not USA, American anything.

>>18804634
>>18804965
>>18804969
>>18804972
>>18804975
These webm's fill me with a sense of pure existential dread that is hard to describe.

>>18804678
>5 patties but sliced bread
>black gloves
>squeeze the whole thing
i wanna kill this fucking gook

>>18805008
That's why that shit is from japan and europe, your basic useless shit

>>18804845
Closing it is fine but a fire can easily be defeated by water.

>>18805010
I almost included that one in my list of existential dread, but honestly it just makes me violently angry as well. Anytime I see someone make one of these retarded foot tall sandwiches I just want to slap them across the face.

>>18804955
God she’s perfect.

>>18805006
It's literally a Walmart.

>>18804674
>grapes
>add sugar
They almost have double the amount of sugar than coke, lmao.

>>18805012
>but a fire can easily be defeated by water.
Fool. See >>18804826

>>18804859
they get rich from the shilling

>>18804913
are you okay?

>>18804855
Why? It's one of the lowest value jobs. They let anybody in unscreened and provide no training.

>>18804955
I don't get it. How does some guy preparing a tray of slop identify incels?

>>18804943
im from england and i assure you that is not a fucking munchy box

>>18804955
pute

>>18805050
puta

>>18804943
Its a poor imitation of a munchy box

>>18805019
Your mom was literally from a walmart

>>18805029
I think he might have been baiting anon. But it's good of you to clear that up in case anyone thought using water on a grease fire is a good idea.

>>18804674
>present this at a party
>it goes into the trash untouched at the end of the evening
Ffs why even make shit like this? How would you even eat it properly? It's definitely meant as some kind of party tray thing but what does he expect people to do? Just pick some of those leaking, exploded grapes from those scorched branches? You'd just get some grape mush on your fingers

>>18805065
What the fuck are you on about you fuckin' weirdo that cant eat grapes properly? Are you some kind of retard?

>>18805008
I fucking hate the future, I want to go back

>>18804674
>Roast for 5-10 mins

Explains why he roasted his own culinary skills

>>18804674
I checked the original video and a lot of the comments were surprisingly positive, some even saying that they loved eating it. Can anyone explain? Just no taste, or common sense?

Get a load of these weirdos, they can't even manage eating grapes

>>18804972
why am i so fucking hard right now?

>>18805077
It's primarily middle age and older white women who watch Jamie Oliver. They all think he's lovely.

>>18805079
Clearly Emily

>>18805086
Actually its niggers with nothing to do in their lives that watch opera and dr shill

>>18805006
there are dollar signs you total retard

>>18804936
I'm grossed out but I admire that woman, sharing her milk with people who can't have it and still don't want to buy powder milk, Good for her.

>>18804936
Diamonds rn

>>18805100
I know that and white people make money from it, niggers sit around watching that ophera and dr shill shit.

>>18805101
>>18805110
The duality of man.

>>18804820
This cannot be real. Seagulls are reportedly so disgusting that even shark who accidentally swallow them spit thrm afterwards.

>>18805095
What is this timewarp? Opera's show ended over a decade ago.

>>18805077
Well cheese and grapes go together well and cooking fruit in the oven intensifies the flavour

>>18804998
The human who couldn't see that coming needs a beating. Imagine a animal not following instinct is retarded.

>>18804943
If any cunt put that amount of slop in their munchy box they'd have their fucking shop burnt down.

>>18805058
>>18805160
yeah it's clearly an americanised version but the concept is quite similar

>>18804820

tiktok is the aids version in 2023. Faggots the lot of them

>>18804818
>not my problem
I fucking hate dogs

>>18805172
Should've stood his ground.

>>18805044
Supposedly she's "flirting" with him to get an extra heaping spoonful of food or some shit

>>18804634

What do the manic bulging eyes and serial killer grimace add? Does anyone look at this guy and think "yes, this is the place" as he leers at them like he's eying up the next fresh cut?

>>18805250
I know I can't be the only one but I hate how many videos/recipes focus on dousing everything with cheese. Good cheese is fantastic by itself, of course it's going to be delicious.

>>18804998
We get it, your redneck parents beat you as a child so you take out your wrath on helpless animals.

>>18804936
She's doing a good thing. It must be awful being a human cow desu but mothers should breastfeed. For kids who's mother doesn't love them she is seriously helping out. Sad that her tits are so small tho.

>>18805255
In the future this will be bug protein slop and all the plebs eat.

>>18804820

>>18805274
How is they eating so fast??

>>18805123
Yes

>>18804674
This is the dude who tried to ban chicken nuggets.

>>18804670
>oat instead of wheatflour
Has anybody tried this? What is the texture like?

>>18805284
good, fuck rats

>>18804678
He should've make more of thinner patties if he's going for smashburgers or less of them, but thicker with some pink inside if he went for "artisan/craft" burgers.
He just got some meh grey stuff that's between those two styles and put too much into one burger

>>18804674
There has to be a better way of putting this together

>>18805218
Agreed, you have to be firm when this happens

>>18804955
I don't get it. It's just a woman ordering some middle eastern sloppa. Is there supposed to.be sound?.

>>18804634
I wish Hitler was still alive.
:'(

>>18804634
> Insane eyes
That man has demons inside of himself.

>>18805288

The dude who burst into tears because he showed kids how chicken nuggets were made and they'd still rather eat pink slime than the shit he churns out.

>>18804826
>filename: Hero
you missed the "an"

>>18804678
>using the plastic cheese

>>18805303
post battlestations

>>18805123
I've heard them being called rats of the sea where I'm from.

>>18805297
Just a forced meme of a place trying to be a meme

>>18805307
if you insist

>>18804820
damn, bro. at least use a knife, you can literally see the poor creature scream as he is ripping it's head off.

>>18805304
That was not as bad it could ha-
>pulls out the cup of water
oh no

>>18805319
based

>･ﾟ: *･ inspire *:･ﾟ
kek

Could someone post as many webms of the cute coffee barista lesbian as possible please? I need cheering up.

>>18804634
brown people are so stupid

>>18805289
no
nobody's ever tried it

>>18805319
this nigga grillin inside

>>18805359
that plating method is utterly retarded, but if I could have some fast hot scrambled eggs in a cup while waiting for the train, I'd pick that over having cup noodles for the nth time in a week
Gimme that steam injector

>>18805304
>>18805324
it worked though

>>18805008
i hope the soup son will watch over this poor homeless man.

>>18804634
The dude looking really fucking metrosexual ruins the webm
He could pass as an FtM tranny

>>18805289
i love that blonde chick's outfit.

>>18805401
the horrible editing makes it look like he goes to parties just to talk about himself.

>>18804936
Anyone know if she has an onlyfans/fansly?

>>18805160
yes, the brits are notoriously short-tempered and quick to violence. They care deeply about the quality of their food and would be more likely to enjoy a nicely prepared haggis or some jellied eels or classic massaman curry

>>18804826
Great sense of comedic timing. He only partialy fills the bowl, gives you just enough time to realize that isn't just a plastic lid he's going to put on top and he is actually about to fuck up

>>18804932

>>18804662
why does he throw the spoons with such vehemence?

>>18804849
I do that all the time and I'm not broke because oats are good for you.

>>18804826
>>18804855
What are you supposed to do in that situation?

>>18805284
Are birds actually capable of voring and digesting whole live mice like snakes are or is that seagull fucked?

>>18805427
Smother it.

>>18805427
You're supposed to use the fire blanket that is supposed to be easily accessible to smother it.

>>18804955
>>18804959
>>18804963
When did they stop calling them gyros and start calling them halal?

>>18805419
It's extremely fun

>>18804634
What the fuck is going on here

>>18805297
You'll have to look on wsg for sound. Basically, she's saying she's from brazil and she likes a little bit of hot sauce at the end. She's cute and her accent is cute, but it works much better as a meme w/o audio.

>>18805304

>>18804874
what if i dump salt on it

>>18804678
I used to make similar toast burgers at home (with one patty obviously) and call them "Cobras" because I got the idea of skipping the expense of burger buns from resident autistic chef Gothic King Cobra, lmao.
Definitely recommended though, especially if you go for a 100% mince patty.

>>18805419
he is indian, that would piss me off too

>>18805419
you can't spell spoon without poo

>>18805329
This one? Here's a few.

>>18805230
>>18804959
>>18804963
How desperate are people for female attention?

>>18805427
put the lid on the pot/pan and turn off the heat.

grease fire is like 200°C, water boils at 100°C. when you add water to the grease it instantly evaporates. thus spilling burning grease all around

>>18805274
he's me fr fr

>>18805321
lol

>>18804975
Ritual humiliation, buckbreaking.

>>18805329
you don't know he's a dirty lesbo

>>18805073
Look closer retard, he roasts the grapea. They're all popped open and mushy. It's a mess

>>18804838
This dude
look at the stove in the beginning
that pot is SMOKING, he kept the heat on high the entire time he's doing his little sissy two fork breading station shit
and as soon as he lifts the lid, the oil vapor swirls, touches the stove and ignites

>>18805492
>How desperate are females for attention?

>>18805419
so the bacteria fall off

>>18804674
Why the hell would you roast grapes?
Why the hell would you roast grapes TWICE????
Fuckin Jamie Oliveoil putting it on everything, someone stop this man

>>18804820
Bad luck to kill a sea bird.

>>18804820
Wait...why just rip the bird's head off? Why not let it go? I'm missing some context here

>>18805558
can't roast it with a blowtorch if you let it go dumas

>>18804674
>>18804913
>>18805024
>>18805077
>>18805294
>>18805147
I have no dooubt it would actually taste good. But I'd omit the sugar, remove the fucking stems, and serve it as a sidedish along with a roast.

>>18804820
Kinky

>>18805441
for you

>>18805123
They're fulmars rather than seagulls apparently. No idea what they taste like but the dude in the video seems to love it.

>>18804941
>opening the bottom of the chip bag is LE BAD
No you dumb whore, that's how you get all the FLAVOUR.

>>18804634
>that'll be $50

>>18804670
>poverty
>contains eggs
>contains cheese
>contains seasoning
>olive oil
man, how out of touch.

>>18804678

>>18804831
>not just using the string as ripcord
fucking weaklings these days.

>>18805672
>buying hand-sewn coffee in the first place

>>18804975
"The wagie shuffle". It's purpose is not to warm your muscles up, but to humiliate you, breaking your dignity, so you will never stand up against them.

>>18804959
Good camera position, lighting and make up.
She's not that perfect IRL
Yes, she did a video about her going viral.
Lurk more

>>18805419
Showmanship

>>18805722
>pizza soup
so chicago style

>>18805281
Hollywood magic

>>18805300
It wasn't even pink slime, the guy showed every step in the process of making it by hand from proper ingredients, and there was nothing wrong with the kids wanting to eat it. He is just a retard

>>18804932
Looks terrible. He used too much grease and salt, and he squished the bread too much.

>>18805572
Noted

>>18805294
Not cooking it and making it a regular cheese board has to be better. All that liquid pooling can't be fucking right.

>>18805715
*The wagie waggle
Fixed for you anon

>>18805008
Umami is based, this is one of his best videos

>>18804662

Pav muthafuckin' bhaji! This fine Marathi man has no time for your BS

>>18804678

Patty melt would like a word

>>18804634
>>18804662
>>18804674
Do Americans really?

>>18804975
It's to demoralize and humiliate you especially if it's done on the sales floor. Then you get bitched at and have your job threatened for not completing task just because that store meeting lasted an hour and a half into your shift for no other reason.

>>18804634
He has a punchable face.

I'm sure he's a good person, but holy shit I want to punch him so badly.

>>18804674
>whole thyme leaves

>>18804674
This would be extremely good.
I like to make a pasta with roasted grapes and feta along similar lines.
Delicious.

>>18804863
Yes.

>>18804969
LMFAO look at this dudes chopstick arms

>>18805722
Jesus Christ

>>18804936
Talk about mommies milkies.

>>18804975
GUSTAVO

>>18805513
i will NEVER have a big titty borderline retarded black gf who tries her hardest to cook me good food, fails, orders pizza then gives me paizuri as an apology

>>18805289
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbIbyUdA_B4

>>18804662
>Those spoon flying at mach2
Literally me when PREP DIDN'T DO SHIT

>>18804878
I used the lid on our deepfryer when we set up a station at a music event food court. We were given a place inside a sort of stylized wooden kiosk but one wall had a large opening for serving so it was actually cold-ish inside.

>>18805159
This anon gets it. It's like factory hazard chokepoints. You overlook it for 9 times and on 10th you get a major incident

>>18805261
this is a recipe for cheese dip, how exactly do you not 'douse everything with cheese'?

>>18804662
>Directly handling the food with his left hand
aaaannddd I ain't eatin that shit

>>18805558
seagulls are flying rats, fucking scum on earth

>>18805427
Use fire extinguisher or blanket?

>>18806489
I’ve got bad news for you if you’ve ever eaten a restaurant

>>18805289
Oohhhh so thats how you make canned tuna.

>>18806499
I know perfect hygiene doesn't exist anywhere, but native Indians literally wipe their ass with their left hand.

>>18805077
it probably tastes nice and is interesting to eat

>>18804818
Christ doesn’t he know you have to turn on the fume hood

>>18806454
Rasism

>>18806482
I don't mean this specifically, though perfectly understandable since I commented on it. I meant in general, many recipes add cheese to spice things up and I have an irritation to it.

>>18804818
>casually burns down your house
Heh, nothing personnel two-legs

>>18805321
>>18805558
N*rds aren't people.

>>18806561
skyrim is integral n*rd clay.

>>18804820
Reminds me of a quail by brother killed.
He shot it with a shotgun but it was still flapping around.
He ripped the head off to get it to stop but it was an enormous mess.
I learned my lesson from that. Next one I killed, I just twisted. But brother, let me tell you. Bird necks twist like crazy. The thing was practically 540 degrees before it popped.
Not my proudest moment.

>>18804634
that cheese better be extremely high on fat otherwise the tatos at the bottom will become a mess

>>18806454
>Wasting food is... Le art
Fuck that bald cunt

>>18805006
in yuropoor you would be either laughed at for idea like this, get multiple resign letters would you try to force it or get work inspector on your head from anonymous report that you force people into humiliating activities that are not in the job contract
Are they fucking npc that they do not die from cringe?

>>18804818
uhhh gas bross?

>>18805006
That demand for constant upbeat positivity is extremely American.

>>18805752
Plus, like his entire objection is that they're not coming from the "Good" parts of the chicken like the breast or legs. But like, the skin and other meat is still meat and it's better that it gets used than just wasted. Frankly it's a miracle chicken nuggs taste as good as they do for what would otherwise be a waste product

Plus he in the show ground up the ribs in a blender like a fucking mong, they don't do that in factories at all

>>18804936
>that amount of nattural white gold
>still feeds her baby using a bottle

>>18805095
>And after Dr Phil, the first act of Der Ring des Nibelungen, Das Rheingold

>>18806353
why not? your still alive

>>18806285
Are you seriously mocking someone for not being over weight.

>>18804855
>job in a kitchen
Why would anyone waste time and money on training or hiring competent staff?

>>18806784
It's literally one question that could mean the difference between having a competent employee, or one that will burn your business to the ground. I think that's worth the 5 seconds it takes to ask "what is the one thing you should never do when dealing with a grease fire."

>>18806802
The insurance payout is worth more than five years of restaurant revenue.

>>18805490
>>18805493
>>18805496
I don't know what that is, but I'd put my dick in it.

>>18805349
>>18805319
Ay yo everybody dis nigga grillin inside hahaha

>>18804975
does anyone have the Russian mobik version?

>>18804634
every day, we stray further from god's light

>>18805241
appealing to ADHD zoomers

>>18804849
>when eggs are $6 for 10
only in the us

>>18805255
lol

>>18805329
>lesbian
She's married to a fat neckbeard

>>18805558
to cook and eat it? do you eat live animals?

>>18804818
what kind of fuckin stove, let alone gas, doesnt force you to push the knob to turn it
im thinking the government is right to ban this shit when manufactures dont have the most basic safety feature

>>18806590
gotta give it a strong pull to rip the spine but not separate the head, no mess

>>18806964
you don't torture food unless you're jeffrey dahmer

>>18804955
sir this is /ck/, post about food and cooking

>>18805006
thats notoriously in the USA

>>18806968
uncountable animals are tortured by starving predators every passing second

>>18806987
only 'cuz they don't have katanas or guns

>>18806991
I don't see any katanas or guns on most fishing boats

>>18806996
like the other guy said
>fishing for birds

>>18807000
They can't eat the fish they catch because thats what they sell for money so the they eat birds instead.

>>18805159
>Animal following instinct to burn his abode to the ground

No-pet chads stay winning.

>>18804678
after one bite it already doesn't resemble a sandwich.
who the fuck wants to eat something like this

>>18804863

>>18804818
What kind of absolute retard leaves burnable shit on the stove? Or anything at all if not in use.

>>18805167
>americanized

No way this is American, they would never put fucking corn in there

>>18805427
Get a lid and starve the fire of oxygen

lmao this first girl >>18804955 went viral so these other whores >>18804958 >>18804963 can't help but do the exact same thing as her for attention, going so far as to even try to mimic her mannerisms

>>18806948
my sea of thieves crew

>>18805402
a white shirt?

>>18805754
Shut the hell up, bitch

>>18807269
>dog
anon it was clearly a white woman.

>>18807325
Hey now, what did >>18804958 do? He just wants to clean his pans.

>>18804838
>chairs blocking the way to the back yard
this is the worst part for me, fuck me just push the table against the wall

>>18806819
sorry but 'ick poster already claimed this ass.

>>18807170
This is why flamethrowers were invented

>>18804849
who the fuck buys eggs in 10 packs?
what is this blasphemy

I hope your phone breaks

>>18805289
What flavour is this milkshake sir?
Your mothers pussy

>>18804936
>5000 ozs
For those who are curious, it's a little over 39 gallons of breast milk
Nice

>>18804936
ALMOST 2 GALLONS A DAY?!?!

>>18804955
Did this start here? Ive seen it on fucking /n/ of all places

>>18806454
bald men were a mistake

>>18806454
Cathartic

>>18806948
Cantina band starts playing

>>18804936
Does she sell to uh single schizo men looking to bulkmax? Asking for a friend.

>>18804634
How can this guy get a job cooking and I can't.

>>18806948
always lose it when the potato starts marching

>>18807802
Cause your area isn't hiring no more you gotta move bro.

>>18807915
They don't like that I'm a perfectionist, I waste too much.

>>18805554
YOU DIDNT LIKE ME LOBSTER???

>>18807636
No. I would assume /r9k/ or /pol/

>>18806991
They definitely have guns. You have to be ready to defend for yourself.

>>18804955
Goddamn bros shes so cute. I wanna marry a woman like this

>>18804662
it was good until the dish is shown at the end with a pound of cilantro mixed in

>>18804678
just fucking put it in a bowl and eat it with a spoon

>>18808094
Alright, have it your way. I like your cooking.

>>18807636
it started here and i hate that it did

>>18804678
How did he think of this it's such an astonishing idea what a worthwhile video THANKS FOR MAKING ME WATCH THAT SHIT YOU CUNT

>>18805319
the jew fears the indoor grilller

>>18804913
He's got those sapho stains but is the opposite of a mentat.

>>18807496
>tfw if we ever really went to war you'd be right in the draft range
>you walk around a store and see countless fat women to whom it's never occurred that they could get called up, not even for auxillary work.
>they're some of the most opinionated when it comes to foreign policy

>>18804634
extremely slobby and greasy, those dramatic gay camera movements make it worse

>>18804637
bro he forgot the bev.

>>18805012
this man makes crystals in his kitchen.

>>18804674
>Roast
>5min
angloids are the biggest cocklets in the world.

>>18807170
I want to see this cute lil' hog in lingerie

>>18804820
One of the first times I went dove hunting I shot one and it went down but didn't die. My dad had showed me before how to break their necks by grabbing them by the head and flicking their body around in a twist sort of motion, seemed easy enough. I tried it and ripped the head right off, tossing the body into a bush. I don't remember feeling traumatized at the time, but years later I would occasionally have dreams about dove hunting and struggling to kill a downed live bird. I know I had the dream multiple times, but the only memorable one was when I tried to strangle it with a clothesline like some sort of shitty hitman.

>>18807415
yes, more women should dress up like that.

>>18806819
That's Morgan Eckroth. She's an award winning Barista and Ytuber.

>>18805271
Yeah but we'll haev to bring our own metal slop bowl or just use our hands.

>>18805319
>that piece of carpet it partly stands on
lmao

>>18809579
i dont get it.

>>18809579
Absolutely delicious and the girl is cute too.

>>18809579
>tfw he whips out the teknik mos

>>18809609
cutest girl in swedistan.

>>18804838
>Outback Tempura.webm
>because he had to take that shit out back
I laughed harder than I should've.

>>18809788
Oh NOW I fucking get it. Christ people wish for better looks I just want another IQ digit.

>>18808224
jesus christ

>>18809579
was going so well until the burger vegetables

Should have alternated mash and turnip mash, kept the meatballs and cranberry, added gravy too, and if you need veg then add something you would have with a roast like sprouts or peas. The lettuce tomato and pickles would clash with this.

>>18805672
I just assumed this was how it's done because then the top is probably ripped off as well

>>18809579

>>18805493
>>18805496
This guy needs to wear a fake mustache to differentiate his characters. I can never tell which guy is supposed to be good/which is supposed to be evil.