/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>18767709
Try a sauce that adds flavour

>>18767709
For me tabasco is legit one of the worst sauces I've tried.
Never tried the other two, but Valentina, the regular one if you want flavor over heat is the way to go. Hot or extra hot, it is personal preference obviously.

For me, it's the El Yucateco Black Label. Very flavorful, decently spicy but not overbearing.

>>18767709
Frank's is only used for making buffalo sauce to put on chicken wings.

>>18767720
Valentina is another good one.

>>18767737
>Yes, I do enjoy liquid cumin.

>>18767797
it's a bit weird how the ingredients do not list tomato/tomato sauce but it tastes like tomato

>>18767827
To me it has more of a smoky garlicky flavor.

Wrong one, I thought you were talking about the El Yucateco for some reason

>>18767867
to me it tastes like tomato with onions and cayene, maybe a bit of garlic, idk

>>18767790

>>18767873
>>18767964
>>18767790
why is the 'yuc so good bros?
i've tried a ton of hot sauces but nothing compares

>>18767709
tabasco is too vinegary. can't say that i've tried franks
for me, it's >>18767737

>>18767709
I tried to branch out, but I always come back to regular Tabasco, it's just perfect.

>>18767709
habanero tabasco is the best tabasco. period.

>>18767790
This stuff is great

>>18767790
I have this one in the fridge. It has a little mushroom flavor or something like it, very good. The green one is great too

>>18768107
Pisses me off that they only sell the tiny bottles. I don't want 12 fucking bottles, just sell em in normal sizes!

>>18767709
Try the limited edition Tabasco.

>>18767709
Gay anal sex for me, thanks

>>18768591
kek

>oh, waitress! *snaps fingers* come here, my poppet, I've decided on what I shall dine upon today.
>May I have the BEARDY MCBEARDMAN MEGA BEEFY QUADRUPLE BEEF BEER BACON N BOURBON BURGER WITH 3000 MONTH PINK HIMALAYAN SALT CAVE AGED CRUELTY FREE SLAVERY FREE NON GMO FARM TO TABLE CIGAR SMOKED GOUDA
>Oh, and of COURSE! My apologies for not realizing that the hot sauce menu was a subset of the MAIN menu (albeit a separate pamphlet detailing the intricacies of each sauce, as well as pairing suggestions, would be a welcome addition (pass that along to your sauce monger)). I shall sample your in-house BEELZEBUTT'S 7,000,000 SCOVILLE HEMORRHOID HOLOCAUST NUCLEAR ANAL LEAKAGE XXXXXX FECAL FURY SAUCE; and, my sweet, mayhaps a bottle of it to go? Though I am yet to taste it, I am sure that my buddies at the barcade - yes, a portmanteau of 'bar' and 'arcade,' and YES, you can actually DRINK as you PLAY VIDEO GAMES, whatever will they think of next? - will be utterly TICKLED by the label your crew has concocted for that bottle!
*taps glass*
>and another round of your hoppiest IPA, please!

>>18769056
The person who wrote this weezes with every breath.

>>18768578
Mankind cannot handle that much greatness.

>>18769056
if such a place existed, i would look like this and say this

>>18768578
>>18769099
Bro... I think I found the solution!

>>18769116
after (((shipping and handling))) is this a deal?

>>18769124
>(((shipping and handling)))
god damn it i knew they were behind that

>>18769056
No one has said this. Are you okay?

>>18769124
They sell it in the following sizes:
- 2oz bottles for $2.99 (~$1.50 per oz)
- 5oz for $6.99 ($1.40 oz)
- 128oz (1 gallon) for $69.99 ($0.55 per oz)

Thats a MASSIVE savings. Shipping for me (SoCal) is about $12.

>>18767709
sriracha makes me fucking gag, I don't see how anyone can stand that shit

>>18769179
you're weak

>>18769192
weak to goyslop, oh no what ever will I do?

Out of the two options, Frank's, but I already buy the tobasco that my country makes, Kaitaia Fire

do you guys order sriracha online now?
it's gone from my local stores

>>18769201
>he cant put peppers into a blender so he needs chinamen to do it for him

>>18769226
the problem with the shortage was supposedly a lack of the peppers used in sriracha
buying my own probably wouldn't be economical either
like trying to make your own peanut butter

>>18769242
nigga you literally buy peanuts in bulk and put it in a blender

>>18769056
Imagine seething this hard that you can't handle spicy food

>>18769257
i looked around and did math a while back
that is more expensive than my local 1.75 burger natty pb (ingredients: peanuts, salt)

>>18769263
https://www.amazon.com/Nutstop-Bulk-Peanuts-Roasted-Unsalted/dp/B09C55K29M

>>18769270
$1.75 for 15oz is cheaper by a small amount. If you copium in the weight of the plastic jar, maybe they're equal.

I've ony ever had Tapatio salsa picante before but just today I brought some bulls eye lousisiana style chipotle to try

>>18769279
it will end up costing more in broken blender and time. blade assembly seals and motor brushes don't last forever.

>If you copium in the weight of the plastic jar
That is not how food labeling works.

>>18769348
well, if you play midground, expand on that

>>18769288
I tried a bit of the bulls eye and it's not bad, a good weaker alternative

tapatio

>>18769056
how long did it take to type this

>>18769144
The issue is can you use a gallon of habanero Tabasco before it goes bad probably not m8

>>18767709
Neither, those are both soyboy sauces. Real alpha chads use these:
>Doctor Donkeydick's Anal Holocaust
>Nuclear Ass Blaster
>Anal Toilet Rape
>Toilet Pipe Cleanser
>Hellfire Mouth Killer
>Colonel Buttchug's Irradiated Sphincter Scorcher Sauce
>Captain Sphincter's Swollen Colon Fire Rhea
>Baron von Buttswamp's Turd Degree Burn
>Habanero Ass Hair Incinerator
>Wild-Eyed Rectum 'Recker
>Uncle Devildong's Five-Alarm Ass Magma
>Dirty Darrel's Dingleberry Dissolver
>Pucker Punisher
Yep, nothing like going to the local microbrewery/barcade after a long days work, sipping on a pineapple upside-down cake IPA and having alpha Chad contests with myself to see how many drops of Captain McGoober's Ass-Ripping Lava Farter Sauce I can take this time.

>>18769056
perfect

hot sauce is soy for people who hate soy

>>18769261
he has rectal damage from a long life of extreme faggotry

>>18769597
Why would it go bad

>>18769580
it's copypasta, dumb newfag

>>18769597
shelf stable for one year, longer if stored in a fridge.

>>18770239
it's not copypasta when it's the same retard posting it over and over

>>18770344
schizo-tier
it's just a silly meme, lighten up

>>18770347
I know an obsessed retard when I see one

>>18770352
ok schizo

>>18770356
I'm not the one spamming every hot sauce thread because he's literally butthurt @ hot sauce, just saying

>>18770358
I suppose you think everyone who posts the navy seals copypasta is the same stolen-valorfag irl too
don't be so insecure over your choice of condiments
if it bothers you that much, filter the post, you big baby

>>18770361
damage control all you want sweaty, everybody knows what's up

>>18770363
I'm not even the same person you schizo
I like hot sauce myself, I'm just saying you're being a big baby over a harmless copypasta

>>18769772
For me its Professor Poopfire’s Grab the Toilet And Bite Your Lip We’re Committing Warcrimes on Uranus, but most people haven’t heard of it because the bottle is just a plain black label that says “FUCK!” with a picture of Satan shoving his dick in a bible

>>18770344
It's funny enough to be posted by >1 people

>>18770397
check the archives, I'm counting 3, and that's assuming it's not the same sad faggot changing filenames to not appear as autistic

>>18770420
>go to fancy restaurant
>order expensive food & wine
>survey available condiments
>sigh loudly, snap fingers to summon waiter
>Excuse me, boy, may I see your hot-sauce menu?
>"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't have one."
>Well, I already know what I want anyway. Fetch the Secret Aardvark, chop-chop.
>"The what, sir?"
>Se-cret Aard-vark? You know, the world's premier sauce?
>"Pardon me, sir, but I don't think we have that."
>Ah, so you ran out. That does tend to be a problem. You should inform your sauce-melier immediately. But fortunately... (wink & smile, reach inside jacket)... I always carry my own.

It's important to have this conversation loud enough for all patrons to hear.

Leave the bottle on the table with the logo facing outward. Before each bite, make a big show of opening the bottle, extracting a single drop of "red gold", and closing the bottle with a loud snap. Also frequently exclaim (to no one in particular) "Mmmm mmmm! That's my 'Vark!"

If anyone looks over, be sure to smile, wink, and hold up the bottle, in case they want to take a picture for social media. Of course you'll also want to get your own photo showing the bottle next to your meal and yourself leaning in, mouth agape at the zesty spice. (Don't forget to tag #varklife! One lucky winner this month will get a limited-edition Secret Aardvark® Nintendo Switch!™)

Last but not least, when paying the bill, on the "tip" line, write:

>'Vark goes great on 'za! :^)

In the #varklife, we call that a Coup d'Vark. #AlwaysVarkin

>>18770429
I get it you're extremely butthurt @ hot sauce, not my problem

>>18770435
>excuse, my dear waitress, but might I perchance take a gander at your hot sauce menu?
>...yes, "hot sauce menu." That is what I inquired about.
>You... don't... have one? Well, while that is truly disappointing for an establishment as esteemed as this, thankfully I always carry a choice selection of my rather vast collection with me at all times.
*loud SCRRRTCCHHing of velcro as a fanny pack is opened*
>Hmmm yes, let's see... Perhaps some "Napalm Diarrhea" for this meal? No, I think the garlicy twinge of "Captain McGoober's Ass-Ripping Lava Farter Sauce" would pair quite well with my entree. Or is it finally the day that "5 Alarm Anus Melting Hot Sauce" will make its debut...?
>Ah, the dilemmas of a connoisseur! Be that as it may; what are your IPA offerings, my sweet?

>>18770435
No it was ironical I enjoy hot sauce and I enjoy eating pizza with my man Kanye Reeves he was The Matrix and also John Rick boy he shoot the gun shoot the gun woah and Dracula? Hoo boy DRACULA plus Boy Break

>>18770435
imagine calling anyone else butthurt while seething endlessly over someone using copy-paste to make fun of a condiment lmao

>>18770455
>>18770456
>>18770457
I use hot sauce, yet you're the one getting butthurt

>>18770460
I use hot sauce too, but I don't feel compelled to take copypastas as personal insults
cry more and stay doubly butthurt

>>18770460
Not getting butthurt sauce fren except when I eat too many scovilles. I am the redditor this board fears, the heat-tolerant capsaicin enjoyer that keeps 4channers up at night. I have a sauce for every season, a spice for every occasion, and I just might keep Le Tiny Tabasco Bottle in the coin pocket of my acid-washed jeans alongside a spare Chuck E. Cheese token as part of my EDC ("just in case").

>>18770471
>single autist posting "copypasta"
>n-no y-you're butthurt
maybe, just maybe you shouldn't have lived a life of complete faggotry and getting your asshole damaged in the process
better luck next life, fag

>>18770485
>still seething
lol
you're just gonna keep crying aren't you
well go ahead
keep at it

>>18770460
Oh believe me, my kind anon, it is - about .4 oz of Badass Bart's Bad Batch of Bombastic Butthurt Billion Scoville Sauce!

>>18770488
>>18770491
One life, and you got filtered by anti-homo food sauce, sad, very sad.
Maybe next life you won't be this much of a homosexual? I doubt it. Later fag lmao.

>>18770498
>so mad you have to ragequit a conversation
just lol

Can all of you retarded trolls and bait-swallowers fuck off so that we can have a serious conversation about culinary pepper sauce?

So yesterday, I finally got my delivery of Professor Poopensheisser's Rectal Reaper 5000 Limited Edition, an artisanal organic small-batch craft sauce made with love by indigenous Floridians. Their secret is, they don't wash the Roundup off the peppers before chucking them in the Vitamix, thus lending a crisp, chemical bite--similar to the umami bouquet of Clorox toilet cleaner, but very sophisticated and probably containing numerous antioxidants. Since the Roundup has a tendency to denature natural bacterial proteins, the native sauce artisans prepare the sauce with unwashed toilet hands, ensuring a rich infusion of live probiotic prebiotic postbiotic cultures. The end result is a symphony of nature & science that literally paints your toilet bowl red with a rich, mealy blood porridge containing bonus chunks of rectal meat, and yet somehow it all smells like Strawberry Frosted Poptarts, how do they do that? You'll be spending a lot more on toilet paper, but the intense 6,000,000 Scoville flavor is worth it for my fellow pepperheads--and the Dow Chemical preservatives added as a finishing touch tend to sear the anal nerve endings, leading to a surprisingly smooth and pain-free fecal experience, with none of the intense incontinent ringmeat quivering associated with lesser sauces. I rate it 9.5/10, but check my Youtube channel (PickleRickSauceBoss420) for a full review.

>>18770552
>Can all of you retarded trolls and bait-swallowers fuck off so that we can have a serious conversation about culinary pepper sauce?
No, liking things is cringe and REDDIT and makes you a SOYBOY!

>>18767709
The only hot sauce I truly go out of my way to buy is Crystal but otherwise I just work through my set of novelty hot sauces I get every Hanukkah

for me, it's crystal

>>18769056
>So let me see if I understood correctly *looks at his notes*
>You come up with stories about imaginary people and then...proceed to get angry at those stories?
>I see...fascinating *scribbles down some more notes*

My boss used to help at an orphanage in Belize and whenever he came back from a trip he would bring back this for me. Looks like it's available in the US now.

>>18770674
meds