/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>18745402
i prefer the bbq cart on the side of the highway

Food is fine, not worth it just for that. It is a really fun time though

>>18745402
The food is average. You go with the atmosphere and entertainment really.

>>18745427
and the knights

>>18745427
>You go with the atmosphere and entertainment really.
Read: you go because it shuts the kids up for a couple hours, and also I assume they have pitchers of cheap yellow beer like at Chuck E. Cheese. (I assume; no woman would ever have me, and I can't quite bring myself to get a "table for one" at Medieval Times, baséd though that might be milord.)

>>18745402
How based would it be to show up at Medieval Times with /THE BOYS/ in full RennFest gear?
>immediately start dabbing on the amateur waitstaff for not being able to use Early Modern English pronouns correctly
>we brought our own period-correct knives and mess kits, and sup on yon turkey legs loudly whilst vocally theorizing upon the radius of the serving wench's barely-concealed areoli
>drink an ocean of lager (wut is this foreign wizardry?) and piss over the wall into the jousting area, as any nobleman would
>after someone at a neighboring table coughs, we start screaming PLAGUE! and running amok until the police are called (the fine for disturbing the peace being cheaper than our collective bar tab)

>>18745536
they probably deal with this kind of yökel behaviour on a semi-regular basis actually

we wuz kangz

>>18745536
Am I laughing or crying for you right now?
not sure

>>18745502
Cute!

>>18745402
only reason its worth it. i was a complete simp for medeival anything as a kid and even with that, i stilll went to one of those as a kid and only enjoyed the food

loved this place as a kid
got a wooden sword and everything, only to break it over the back of some shit head kid who stole my ninja turtles van

>>18745736
you put it to good use anon

>>18745402
imagine being him, he is having time of his life, it will go only downhill from this point

The food isn't that great but its worth it for the hot wenches and beer

>>18745402
Went with my wife, brother and his wife. Brother and I got absolutely shitfaced and kept screaming at the other teams knights accusing them of sodomy and pederasty and demanding for them to be beheaded, drawn and quartered, burned alive, etc. A Karen with her kids got really pissed and we just kept calling her a fat wench. No idea how we didn't get kicked out. Not my proudest moment.

>>18745402
no
the food's not that great AND it's overpriced

>>18745798
I was there as a kid, can confirm nothing topped Medieval Times.

>being nostalgic for a time in which your country didn't exist
>dotheyreally.png

>>18746062
they just larp as europeans if you think about it

>>18746062
You’re forgetting nobody hates america like americans

>>18746062
And yours did? Don't make me laugh, you retard. I bet you think Italians are Romans too lmao.

>>18746062
You might as well just say
>being nostalgic for a time before you were born
It's not like people who live in Europe have any more of a connection to that shit than anyone else on the planet.

>>18746087
>middle ages
>Romans
Is this the power of American education? Why do you think they're called the "middle" ages anon? My country goes back to 1066 which is early middle ages.

>>18745402
>Worth it for the food?
I went there for a kids birthday party when I was little. We drove for hours to get there.
Still remember it a bit. I remember buying a small set of letter opener 'swords.' Still have one.

you go for the experience and entertainment
not historically accurate cuisine
i imagine they just serve turkey legs and beer

>>18746100
Of course we do. We have art, architecture and cultural traditions that date back to the middle ages and beyond. I can trace my ancestry back to 1180.

>>18746109
Except it changed so much you wouldn't want to live then and the people from then would hate you

>>18746116
>we have art, architecture and cultural traditions that date back to the middle ages and beyond
I've probably been to your museums more times than you have, and spent more time studying your art. Being able to trace your ancestry back to the middle ages doesn't make you a fucking knight, lol.

>>18746122
My ancestors were members of the gentry so I'd probably be better off.

>>18746113
standard fare is half a roast chicken, corn, grilled potato, garlic bread, and notoriously lava-like tomato soup

>>18746116
So do I but you are living in dreamland

>>18746124
The city I live in, my hometown, and most other places in the UK have churches and other buildings that date back to the 10th and 11th century, rows of Stuart era timber houses and taverns, etc., we have social and culinary traditions that date back to the middle ages, etc., studying it from afar is not the same as living in the midst of it. Sorry your oldest buildings are only 150 years old. At least some of the art deco buildings are nice.

>>18746140
>peak yuropoor cope

>>18745402
Food should never be served within line of sight of defecation.

I'd go to a place like that if it were like Arrmored Combat Sports without the horses.

>>18745402
not really, florida and texas hookers are fuckin primo tho

>>18746146
oh come on anon, you're a grown ass man. act your age.

>>18746140
>and most other places in the UK have churches and other buildings that date back to the 10th and 11th century, rows of Stuart era timber houses and taverns, etc., we have social and culinary traditions that date back to the middle ages

is this cunt for real? Your country is dead. Half of those "10th and 11th century town houses" are now in sharia controlled zones.
Fucking weak ass bitch getting off on the glory of your ancestors whilst ignoring the state of your nation. Existential deadweight fucking parasite.

>>18746170
>sharia controlled zones.
Those don't exist. Don't forget to lock your car doors next time you drive through the Mexican part of town. Or the black part of town.

>>18746183
yep no Sharia controlled zones. No rape gangs. No corruption and treason of state. Everything is fine.
Or, you're just a spineless fucking coward.

>>18746196
All I said was we have more history than you anon I don't see why you have to get so upset. Go and pray to George Floyd I'm sure it'll make you feel better.

>>18746219
It's extremely poor taste to be boasting about your nations history considering the ongoing destruction of it.

>uk guy pretends his country hasn't willingly been handed over to foreigners
it's sad and there cannot be a solution. The UN would stop anything that came close. RIP to a thousand years of anglo culture, but on the plus side the arab contemporary culture isn't too far off.

>>18746229
It's poor taste to bring it up when it's happening in your country and you have less to begin with.

>>18746232
>It's poor taste to bring it up
>you have less to begin with
yep, your exactly the type of "weak man" that prefers not to talk about his social responsibilities and would rather live in some fantasy about knights and honor and tradition.
When is the next marvel movie coming out?

>thread about getting drunk and going to what is essentially disneyland
>retarded bong literally can't help himself from coming in and screaming about he's a real knight and a real man of culture
>immediately gets btfo
It's all so embarrassing.

I've collected enough salt from this thread to cure an entire pig :)

>>>/wsg/4891869

holy shit look at all the mutts seething they have no history lmao

DOWN DOWN DOWN
RED KNIGHT'S GOING DOWN

>>18746062
Modern day Americans descended from medieval Europeans, retard

>>18745536
I suspect they get spergs like you on a weekly basis

I enjoyed the smell of horses and their byproducts while dining.

>>18746170
>Half of those "10th and 11th century town houses" are now in sharia controlled zones.
Another day, another American lecturing people about countries to which they've never been

>>18746395
HELLO CLARICE
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN

>>18746170
>Half of those "10th and 11th century town houses" are now in sharia controlled zones.

>>18746676
Seems like they forget that everytime we get a mutt vs europe thread

I only go there for the takeout

all of you fools please go back to pol

>>18745502
oh it all makes sense now
hold on, reviewing my family vacation history

>>18746135
>potato
>corn
>tomato
>in medieval europe

/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>18746395


>>18746797
it's just a dinner show anon, there are no claims of authenticity

>>18746853
I thought I was on /tv/ not gonna lie

>>18746797
YOU
JUST
KNOW

>>18746676
Doesn't count, you're all just mutts now

>>18746797
>most racially loyal white woman in america

>>18746855
>there are no claims of authenticity

>>18745536
>turkey
Aren't turkeys post-colombian?

>>18746877
Mutt's Law

>>18745566
kek

>>18745536
you sound like a guy with a weekly boardgame group

>>18746994
well yeah, but so are potatoes, corn, and tomato soup

>>18746140
>11th century churches converted into mosques and LGBT community centers

Still whiter than you, Muhammad.

for me, it's the technicolor neon shinjuku slut insanitarium that is the tokyo robot cabaret. and they even have jousting knights!

>>18745736
those who live by the ninja turtles, doe by the ninja turtles

>>18745510
Yep, you go because it shuts the kids up with family friendly entertainment and you can get booze with your grocery store tier rotisserie chicken.

>>18745402
How many dragons do they kill for the dragon tail soup?

Worth it for the food? No. But you are paying for a show that comes with food and its perfectly fine for what it is.

>>18745402
Food is decent, nothing I'd write home about, but the show is a lot of fun. Went there a couple months ago and it was one of the most fun experiences I had in Vegas.

>>18748451
based

>>18746025
>we just kept calling the Karen a fat wench
Kek. Please tell me you did this in the oldie-worldie accent and vernacular.

>>18746125
*some of

>>18746152
So how do you rim your man, troony?

>>18746259
Nobody said that, fatty.

>>18748451
>closed permanently due to covid

>>18746755
It's j*ws and nonwhites that start and perpetuate that nonsense

>>18746755
>everytime we get a mutt vs europe thread
That's not at all what this thread is or was until a bong showed up and started obsessing over Americans as usual. It's never Americans starting this shit.

>>18745402
the experience makes it worth it and fun

>>18748597
Oh yes, (((Covid)))..how convenient

>>18746135
that does sound pretty nice

I really enjoyed this when I went when I was like 10

I assume it is still fun as an adult

>>18748594
my autistic furry ftm femboy fwb doesn't like his butthole touched at all

>>18748621
The famous ((())) of Japan. Aah so, already.

>>18748764
Xe sounds like a faggot

>>18745702
that's because you were oddistic about historical perfection and this is also why you could never have or be fun at parties

>>18746109
>1066
>early middle ages
MIddle-ages started in 4th century with the fall of Rome, anon. 1066 is in no way or form "early" middle ages.

>>18748857
some pœple consider the centuries post-Rome to be the "Dark Ages" for various reasons; complete contraction of culture and de-consolidation of power which was almost a return to tribal rule.

1066, for England at least, was the year big power control started again since Rome pulled out, and although it was certainly not the beginning of society in Britain the current system and the current monarchy started then.

Still feel bad for Harold Godwinson, he was an absolute champ and should have been the underdog but instead he got got.

>go to medieval fair
>they sell cotton candy

>>18749092
post pics of you eating lampreys pls

>>18745402
i went there when i was in florida and hated it
i dont really like eating food with my hands at the best of times (because im a puff) but the food was proper greasy and they only give you a shit wet wipe

>>18749182
they give you proper towels now anon. and didn't you at least enjoy the falcon?

>>18749126
nay

>>18749239

>>18746170
>are now in sharia controlled zones.
They were moved to Utah?

>>18746062
>spending every waking hour obsessing over a country you don't live it
do foreigners really

>>18749451
>doesn't even have glass shards in his face
Why are american edits so lazy

>>18749190
The falcon swooped at my sister and gently touched her head and made her scream/laugh.

>>18746116
>I can trace my ancestry back to 1180
Unless your ancestors were nobility I highly doubt that

>>18749506
criminals but same difference

>>18746994
Yes but that's the food they serve regardless.

>>18748451
1 european girl has better ass and tits and face than a hundred chinky bitches

>>18749527
they don't even serve tergy anon ffs

>>18746135
Couldn't they at least have replaced the tomato soup with bread and turnip soup or something. Why go for something so overtly ahistorical?

>>18749092
Cotton candy's not as anachronistic as you'd think. Sugar is a Medieval Indian invention and apparently there's evidence of spun sugar to have been invented in 15th Century Italy.

>>18746183
the mexicans won't rob your car

>>18746109
You're an absolute moron with no idea what that anon is saying.

The past is a foreign country. You have no significant ties to your nation in the middle ages aside from geography.

>>18749598
>turnip soup
lol u want to get fucked by those knights after the show eh

>>18746231
Probably shouldn't keep throwing stones in glass houses when your population is 40% mexican, though

>>18749967
Cope. Just because you are a rootless mutt with no connection with his Heritage or History, that doesn't mean that other people's connections with their own aren't real. Stop with this sour grapes shit.

>>18750023
The only person here with sour grapes is the loser griping about Americans bringing their kids to a medieval tournament reenactment or acting like your ancestors crossing the Atlantic on a boat nullifies that from being part of your family history.

Kingsley?

>>18745502
I might check it out. I'm an avid renfest participant and one of my favorite parts is the theatrics of the joust tournament. Like pro wrestling for nerds. I get assigned a knight based on my location in the arena and i'll be damned if I wont cheer and boo as needed.

>>18749981
not him but yes
who doesn't?

>>18750006
>push all the mexicans out 120 years ago
>some are back now living the american dream
not really the same thing as breaking the bank to invite a hostile caliphate to inherit your island

>>18749527
They serve rotisserie chicken.

>>18751075

>hot knights
wtf was this always a thing? i was here only once as a kid and i don't remember any hot knights

>>18751265
like with any performance industry the opportunities are strongly in favour of the athletic and beautiful.

an former knight did an AMA awhile back and explained how he got the job - went to interview as a server/waiter but the hiring manager couldn't be in that day so was seen by the head knight instead. guy looked at him and offered him the job of knight instead. this without a thread of horse riding experience or fighting, theater, performance, choreography experience, etc

got trained up and worked there a couple years

>>18745402
These places actually exist? Huh, that's kinda cool

Been dying for some basic roast chicken because of this thread ‘:[

>>18746170
>Fucking weak ass bitch getting off on the glory of your ancestors whilst ignoring the state of your nation. Existential deadweight fucking parasite.
It's funny how Europeans don't realize every time they say this they are going full "we wuz" cope.
>We....we...we have older b-b-b-buildings than you we are bett-ack" as he gets beheaded by Muhammad

What's the cost?

is this a good place to meet Women

It's pretty insane going to the one in New Jersey. You are in the middle of a hellish landscape, nothing but highways and refineries and gloom and out of no where is a giant medieval castle.

>>18753158
I checked, wow, that's much cheaper than I expected.

>>18745402
For some reason, I always thought this place was in Vegas and that there was only the one. I had no clue that not only are there 10 locations, but none are in Vegas lol. I guess it just seems like a Vegas type of place.

>>18746877
>>18746944
I'm pretty sure this is a female silverback
the males have the really fuckin tall 5 heads.

>>18753212
It's more for kids, not many kids in Vegas.

>>18753212
It's the kind of place you dump in a really shitty place to give that shitty place something special. It could never compete in Vegas but Lawrenceville Georgia sure.

>>18753203
I mean two+ hours of trained horses, dozens of performers, a nice meal, and at least an hour of the show is a mock tournament of knights with decent theatrics and crowd interaction. snot terrible if that's what you pay for

>>18753222
>>18753225
I know what it is now. My mind was getting it confused with the Excalibur in Vegas, thought it was part of that.

The one in Lyndhurst all the "Knights" are Latino. You get to meet them afterwards. They really are taking all our jobs even medieval knight larping

>>18753293
Vaqueros? Buckaroos?

>>18746062

>>18745402
I went with a gf and her family. I was the only black person there. I got called "the dark knight" by some larp and ran with it for the night. food was weak.

roasted chicken.

>>18753509
>>18753509
>americans sperging out about europe every time ANYBODY shits on the US
>yeah we dont really care
kek
obsessed

>>18753559

>>18751284
This. I thought it was just a fake version of Excalibur for the movie The Cable Guy.

>>18753581
shockingly the point i am trying to make flew right over your head

>>18753665
between her and that fat Italian gypsy fuck.
who would win?

For me, its Hatfield and McCoy dinner fued.

>>18753665

>>18746135
no bbq ribs? that was my favorite part of the dinner

>>18753293
When I lived in Portland, OR I actually started losing weight because of how bad they fucked the McDonalds near me. Staffed it with 90% guatemalans and the kicker was that the guy who most commonly took orders at the drive thru could not fucking speak nor understand english so would get my orders wrong >50% of the time, so I just stopped going.
Maybe the owners thought it would be "ableist" to hire someone that spoke english, I'm not even joking there, they are on levels of retardism there to the point that it's like a religion for them.

>>18753744
>lived in Portland
How often did you and your transitioning friend Jalqueensa Jackson attended the local barcade?

>>18753688
That sounds neat, do you get do shoot pop-guns at each other?

>>18753755
Man you're not even wrong. I lived there for 11 years but I'm originally from small town Nebraska where I lived until I was 16. You could write a comedy movie script probably based off of my life there. I got dragged to so many gay coworkers birthdays at drag shows and shit. One of the funniest things before I left was my counterpart at work. Both of us were supervisors at our company on the same shift but he was ultra ultra Portlandite dyed in the wool absolute hard left political person. Then I was on the other end but constantly hiding it. Anyway during the last year I was there our company hired a tranny that was absolutely heinous in terms of their behavior. I thought for sure they would get assigned to me because fuck that's the way things seem to always work, but NO thank God they were assigned to this guy. It was so fucking funny watching him try to deal with it and not break his spiritual conditioning to this stuff. This tranny would walk straight up to all the female staff and start talking and asking about them, then in the first minute of conversation tell them "I'm trans and bisexual by the way" and just stair at them deadpan waiting for their response. I'm amazed we didn't get sued for harassment but I guess none of the staff would want to break their own solemn loyalty to the program and offend a tranny.
Anyway now I live in small town Missouri, shit is fuckin great out here.

>>18753719
apparently they stopped the ribs quite some time ago. I'm going to just guess it was a cost thing, but maybe it was just too hard to cook them for 1200 people 1-2 times a day

>>18753688
the pirate show it way better. only white trash go to hatfield and mccoy, even dolly partons stampede is better than that shit.
I love that whole area, dollywood is awesome and as long as you're slightly inebriated the entire pigeon forge area is a lot of fun.

>>18746062
But Americans are descendants of england and england had medieval times so.....what do you expect? Americans to glorify aztecs or what

>>18755256
New idea for a dinner-show theme:

Marty's Aztex-Mex Sacrifice and Hoedown

>>18745402
I remember buying a wooden sword there when I went during grade school, it fit perfectly in my backback hook used to hang it on things, and I was a little fat kid with a sword, ready to be drawn like some anime character

>>18755318

>>18755301
>be Karentard
>bring kids to Aztec Times for cultural enrichment
>ritual heart removal
>lifeless body thrown down the stairs of step pyramid
>kids screaming in horror
>Scream "Blood for the Blood God!" at them
>treasured memory

>>18755322
He cute

>>18745736
you did the right thing anon

>>18746797
>considering the continent they are on it's actually the chicken and bread that is ahistorical

>>18749981
what about turnip soup implies sex?

>>18753212
There's even a place in Italy, was really cool when I was there.

>>18746062
Who is being nostalgic? It's a fun thing to do

Is there anything more comfy than getting drunk at a rennasaunse festival?
>Turkey legs
>Bards in a comfy inn singing
>Fat whores dressed like kingdom hearts characters wielding foam keyblades
>The mock torture dungeon showing brutal tortures "AHHHHRRGGGG!"
>Tortuga bros making fun of fat people again
>Creepy bell guy playing ACDC songs yes lad
>$295 swords that nobody is buying
>Pretzel guy offering you a sneezed on pretzel
>The petting zoo with a half dead elephant that walks around in a circle while bearing the weight of 3 obese children
>Shooting the highschool kid with a paintball gun and not tipping
I really can't wait to go back bros its better than any theme park. Last time I went it was raining and it really felt like midevil times. Happy new year bros

>>18757464
I've never been to one, although there is one not to far from where I grew up. We just never went for some reason.

>>18753212
>>18753265
Vegas has something that's basically just this same experience in the Excalibur. It's not named the same though. Tournament of Kings.

I like to chat up the serving wench

>>18746183
You Head of fucking State is a brown foreign neo-colonist. You have been invaded and conquered.

>>18745510
Most Chuck E’s don’t have alcohol anymore. Too many fights probably.

>>18749967
>brainwashed progressive fundamentalist self-hating racism nonsense

>>18745536
You have severe autism but don't know it. Unfortunately everyone around you has to deal with it.

>>18745402
I went to the one in Chicago when I was on a field trip in high school. They had the best tomato soup I've ever had in my life there. Bot sure what was in it, and don't really remember much else from it other than the soup.

>>18759099
I also remember the soup being like crack. I'll have to try and get back again someday

>>18745402
I thought medieval food was garbage but the culture is goat

Took my husband there for his birthday back in 2015. It was a great experience, but don't really remember the food desu. He's since put a ring on it, so the food must've at least been passable.

>>18754656
Dolly Parton unironically deserves more respect than she will ever get from twitter in 202x.

>>18759097
Impossible, they didn't have vaccines in medieval times.

>>18759120
Pretty much, the real cuisine for noblemen was venison and squirrel desperately marinated in any foreign shitspice available for extortionate prices, whereas peasants like your ancestors (lol) subsisted on warm turnips and accidental jenkem. That's where you came from. Accidental jenkem.

>Pretty much, the real cuisine for noblemen was venison and squirrel desperately marinated in any foreign shitspice available for extortionate prices, whereas peasants like your ancestors (lol) subsisted on warm turnips and accidental jenkem. That's where you came from. Accidental jenkem.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeVcey0Ng-w

>>18759180
t. jenkem golem
Meanwhile my based Blemmyes ancestors foraged nutritious low-lying herbs and savoury nocturnal fungi that were concealed from the ridiculous overgrown bodies and protruding "necks" of your malformed forebears.

>>18754656
Dude anon, that looks pretty fuckin' gay

>>18759208

Is this what the cool kids call "slop"?

>>18748764
Let me guess you put your dick inside of "his" vagina? FTM jump through so many hoops to be straight with extra labels. At least MTF are real fucking freaks. They really earn the warning labels.

>>18758888
do yourself a favor and go.Its pure fun

>>18746135
I went to Medieval Times 20 years ago and I'm pretty sure they served real mutton and not this KFC shit what the hell

>>18759498
They used to serve ribs and a quarter chicken (90s-early 2010s) but have since ditched the ribs and gone for half a bird

>>18746797
I could handle the dogpill but this is ridiculous....

>>18757464
Both Ren Faires near me absolutely suck and are 90% vendors selling Chineseum shit.

>>18759529
fuck off antiwhite troll

>>18745536
I'm a forever GM and even I'm not this autistic

>>18759208
based blammyes poster

Here (France) we have a handful of fairs which are more focused on reenactment rather than entertainment and were they try to replicate medieval food (middle/upper class food that is, such as what you can find in "Le Viandier"). It tastes surprisingly close to Asian food.

>>18753509
The joke is that americans don't learn about other countries at school and that the guy who made this meme is oblivious to the fact that most american boomers were vehemently against teaching their kids anything about other countries' history, leading to this meme about a fictional european perspective.
>tl;dr americans are uneducated, obviously

>>18746062
I take it you don't go to asian restaurants either

>>18753293
you ever think it's because Americans are too dumb, stupid and lazy to do the job? You do know how many hicks in red states don't work and rely on government assistance, right?

>>18753744
>Portland, OR

This town used to be so fucking kino.
Fuck Ted Wheeler fuck Kate Brown, and fuck jannies

>>18745536
I feel like greentext stories never work on /ck/

>>18759091
>buzzword spouting schizo retard

>>18746062
its for fun retard

>>18760952
You just did what you accused him of.

>>18748836
This is true but don't make it sound like I'm the one with problem here

I took my mixed race nephew to one of these and hey asked me why there weren't any black people. I told him black people weren't knights, which I thought would be fine because I didn't even think he really liked that stuff, but his mother got very upset and accused me of being racist. The food was okay, but honestly it's just normal stuff, not going to blow your mind.

>>18762627
there were black Africans who served as Catholic Knights in Spain during and after the Moorish occupation. After a generation or two cultures tend to mingle and many integrated with existing Spanish institutions including becoming Christians.

There weren't many. They are mentioned in the historical record. So, technically, there were some and in Spain specifically, which is where Medieval Times takes place