/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Normal food but the words are all wrong or funny

>>18702654
scran

canned beans on white bread

feces

>>18702656
I have to admit, the concept of thick beef stew wrapped in pastry dough so that you can eat it like a sandwich is pretty ingenious.

>>18702658
Stargazy pie isn't normal for anyone in the civilized world, that clearly shows that brits are savage weirdos and shouldn't even have a seat at the UN.

>>18702703
Stargazy pie is only eaten in one village on the edge of Britain. It's British food in the same way that Altoona style pizza is American food

>>18702656
It all sounds pretty good honestly, but I suspect its rather bland in reality.

Faggots and spotted dick

Here's your lunch bro.

>>18702798
no one eats these

>>18702906
https://youtu.be/mQisg26oJdE
It's good and you must be a zoomer

>>18702654
beer and papadums

>>18702654
Brits done eat food, they eat feed

>>18703109
fucking hell mate
this was already the most English video I've ever seen and then the bride shows up and she's fuckin orange
about lost my shit

>>18702654
Boiled boar wirh mint sauce.

>>18702654
And who the fuck might that be? Not everyone spends time memorizing the shape of obscure islands.

>>18702777
Ding ding ding, we have a winner
Trips confirm

>>18702739
Fuck off, my Mum makes it from time to time and we have nothing to do with Cornwall. It's delicious, stop trying to disown our food to appease random yanks on the internet.

very topical based video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogfyJICT9aI

>>18703109
>>18703157
Why the fuck do they look that way?

>>18702654
They burn tabloids dedicated entirely to various British trannies in order to heat their homes

These look good, not sure I could eat all that but would be fun to get one.

>>18702906
Kindly suck on one of these.

>>18702671
Protip: grate some cheese and vegetables into the beans while boiling them

A thing that gets served at some parties is cheese and pineapple on cocktail sticks, sometimes presented as a hedgehog by sticking them into half an orange or grapefruit wrapped in foil. It's my favourite party food.

Bong cuisine is shite.

>>18702656
>PARTY MEAT
Is that a euphemism for jellied eel penises?

>>18703494
Never deny an Ulsterman his human right to cheese and pineapple on a stick.

>>18702798
>>18702906
which is a shame because it's actually pretty fucking good

>>18702656
Looks good

>>18703109
>they all look like their houses have that "weird white people" smell
>like faintly of vomit and childhood sexual molestation
What went wrong with Britain lads.

>>18703191
how do you eat it
what do you do with the fish heads

>>18703645
I personally don't eat the heads. The rest of my family does though. Apparently they taste just like the rest of the fish (suprise suprise) and because the fish is so small the bones in the head are easy to chew and swallow.
The pie itself is extremely tasty. The fish are usually all fresh caught the same day and come from straight from the ocean. It's not something you have every night because it's such a flavour bomb but in the middle of winter imo it knocks the socks of any meat pie out there.

>>18703696
The heads are the best part. Full of flavour and nutrients.

>>18702654
Indian food almost exclusively

>>18703235
Fish cock for dinner, spotted dick for dessert, a clash of cultures!

>>18703873
>Does not contain cock

>>18703608
Pretty sure that any
>weird white people smell
is better than upper class, normal, black "people" smell. And you know that's the truth.

>>18703547
just a smaller pie to have as a side or for the kids, party sized refers to smaller portions of food like you might have a plate of at a social gathering for people to grab off of

>>18704369
the al pastor top middle looks great
wife made it similarly, except not grilled with smoke, and turned out fantastic
imo, best Mexican style pork and perhaps best meat in Mexico

>>18703205
Ironically, Murica's solely to blame. They copied the Jersey Shore look. These people didn't exist before then

>>18702656
Based and GallowaysPilled

>>18704410
Al pastor is like the peak of what Paul hates: it's fusion food made in Mexico by immigrants from the Middle East.

>>18702654
meat pies
x on toast WHY DO YOU PUT EVERYTHING ON TOAST

>>18702654
Potatoes

>>18702654
They're eating completely unchecked and unlimited immigration from Jewkraine and Africa.

>>18704411
Jersey Shore only came out in 2009 and I remember orange chav girls in 2005 if not earlier. It happened because rich girls are:
>blonde
>go on holiday (tanned)
And poor girls want to look like rich girls. Same reason all the chavs had iPhones in 2010.

>>18702654
the working class eats beige
the middle class also eats beige, but they add that 'vegetable medley' shit or salad from a bag now and again
the upper class eat the other two classes

>>18704842
You sound hopping mad with jealousy

>>18702654
mostly TARAMASALATA

>>18704887
scumminome m8

>>18702654

We pop down to Greggs at lunchtime and in the evenings we usually stop by the local chippy.

>>18704423
cheese, beans and black pepper or Cayenne pepper on toast is god tier. Its a good workout meal too.

>>18703902
France is that way anon --->
Loads of coq

>>18705890
Look at poor mushroom by the spoon, it looks liks screaming, "help me! help me!"

>>18706826
Good lord have heterosexual sex

>>18703109
ENTER: HABADASHER
hi blokes, looking for something today?
>yeah mate we'll take this blue suit for the five of us
alright chaps let's start by measuring everyone
>that's ok we'll just take the one suit five times

>>18706864
Looks like a band, like Madness
A band of bloaks, cheers!

>>18702654
They're big on cheese.

I buy a English brekkie munchy box for under £5 every weekend

>>18706941
I'm no role model but this is a pretty grim photo

>>18706864
ENTER: MATALAN
>we're looking for suits for a friends wedding
Я нe poзмoвляю aнглiйcькoю, я пpиїхaв 2 днi тoмy.

>>18702654
Chippy

This is good

>>18706941
Please jam that spork deep into your eye socket you lazy faggot

How has this not been mentioned?

>>18707001
Because those aren't chips, they're fries dum dum.

>>18706966
Too bad it's not NYC, I've had to rent suits for weddings and anniversarys since I was a little tike and could help you out. Really, don't do it online, the sizing is never quite right or they just plain mix up the order and get it wrong.
How do I know this? Been there done that.
For instance, I ordered a pair of jeans my size online and the fucking retards sent me something completely retarted and not even close to the order size. The stupid jeans were like 12 inches too long and way too wide.
So my point is, don't do that online, go to a store that rents suits, they'll know what fits you, they do it for a living.

Been having kippers for my breakfast recently

>>18706951
Eating tasty cheap food while enjoying some anime and a cup of tea? How is that grim
>>18706985
I cook every day but sometimes I’m not in the mood to cook breakfast AND dinner

>>18707010
Those kippers are great on crusty garlic bread, deenz as well.

>>18706864
Blah blah blah to everyone else.
Cheers! To the wedding party!

>>18703557
For the unenlightened: - https://youtu.be/qEsFtiruIok

>>18707012
In paticular I was put off by the keyboard seemingly shoved crooked half under the monitor "for space" in pair with the mouse on the left facing worse treatment over past meal's forgotten paperware. obviously everything is dusty as well.
foodwise, the application of pepper is disgusting. I love pepper. I'll take years-oxidized ground pepper over no pepper. but just one ugly spit of pepper on that molded egg just seems like the equivelant of dressing yourself up for work in the morning and immediately wiping a bunch of snot on your sleeve.
At first glance the bacon looks really cold and rigid but sometimes the shittiest looking bacon tastes the best.
the paper cutlery is kinda cute.

>>18707110
You're coming across as a female, is that time of the month?

>>18707110
You might be pregnant, that's pretty cool if so.

>>18702654
Britbongs invented goyslop. These kike slaves are happy to eat:
>porrige with golden syrup
>baked beans straight out of the can
>boiled potatoes mashed up with a splash of milk (not to be confused with mashed potatoes)
>warm beer
>chip sandwiches
>watery tea
For the results of such a "diet" check out the photos of the scurvey-ridden, shattered glass smiles of britbongs in Weston Price's Nurtition & Physical Degeneration.

I do envy the Brits their bakes and pasties honestly wish I could pop down to Greggs and pick up a steak bake
t. Canuck

>>18702654
Different shades of beige/brown food. Occasionally with green bits for contrast

>>18702656
Meat pies are Australia you union jack twat. Knowing how tasteless our cuisine is we at least need meat pies. We can't share that with you tea spotting nunces.

>>18702654
england has mountains?

>>18703109
were the peaky fookin blinders

>>18707012
mate that's a travesty of a fry up poured into a box, I've seen better looking breakfasts in the dodgiest of roadside cafes. Plus it's the easiest fucking thing to cook at home - not being bothered to fry and egg and warm up some beans is next level lazy

>>18703114
very clearly not English on that packaging you spacker

>>18707354
sorry fella but meat pies are British and what you're attempting is cultural appropriation

>>18707515
This is the most poncy chip butty i have ever seen

>>18707461
Fight me one v one in a 'who owns meat pies' contest. Australia is meat pie kingdom.

>>18707545
As someone who has been to both the UK and Aus/NZ, there were definitely way more meat pies in Australia and New Zealand. They also tasted better

This and Prime rib

>>18707295
What’s wrong with golden syrup on porridge?

>>18703608
>non white
>uses child molestation as an insult
pathetic gaslighting, here's your (You) Mohammed/Juan/Mordechai/Manny/Abdullah/Petero

>>18707555
>what's wrong with gruel & sugar???

>>18706941

Based reincarnated as a sword enjoyer

Fran is best girl

>>18706941
A brekky munchy box, you say?

>>18707618
i dont like beans but thats a fucking piss take ratio wise

>>18707623
Wait I have a couple more

>>18707623
Here
I'd devour these, maybe not the beans though
I'm American btw

>>18707630
i dont know what theyre doing putting chips on there but thats probs the best breakfast munch box ive seen drop the chips and add more shrooms

>>18703114
croatian or magyar lidlbro lmao

>>18704423
>lurpak margarine
fucking kek

>>18703191
That crust looks good, I'd try it as long as it's not too too fishy

>>18702656
definitely not the worst part of their cuisine

>>18707006
we totally did ask, by the way

>>18707110
all that

>>18707618
>>18707625
>>18707630
looking good