/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>18565346
I ate fast food once.

Spaghetti noodles seasoned with sausage grease and egg

>>18565346
I've eaten a mcdonald's cheeseburger once and I finally found out what sadness tastes like. How in the hell does it taste so different from the quarter pounder?

>>18565346
an mre alone in a strange city

>>18565346
My last Thanksgiving dinner was a large pizza from Domino's with tap water. Halfway through eating the power went out in my building so I finished it in the dark.

>>18565459
I can picture this

Stale bread rolls defrosted in the microwave with honey, while drinking powdered beef stock dissolved in boiling water. Butter or even margarine and chicken instead of beef stock and that would have been a respectable meal.

>>18565346
Rice and a little bit of butter for dinner when I was out of other food.

A bag of funions, ruffles and a coke for dinner cooked in my car.

>>18565346
Mustard. Not anything else, all I had was mustard

>>18565346
Almost decade old expired hamburger helper. Didn't have meat, or milk. Or a way to heat it. I just let it sit in water for a while then consumed it.

>>18565346
One time I went to hotpot by myself without knowing what it was and half invited a girl to come eat with me because I heard it was better with a group, figuring I would be fine if she couldn't come because I was pretty hungry. Ended up ordering like 80 dollars worth of food in an empty restaurant with like one chinese cashier who kept looking at me like I was insane, and when they brought out the massive family sized soup bowl i realized there was no fucking way I was going to be able to eat even a quarter of the food I bought. Started begging the girl I had asked to come meet me and she was busy and getting weirded out by my requests. I tried to ask for a to-go bowl to fit a portion of the grocery trip worth of food that was literally rolled out to my booth and was able to get maybe a fifth of the food, mostly consisting of uncooked shrimp, into the bowl before leaving, trying not to look the cashier in the eye. On the way home I spilled the shrimp.

>>18565526
>On the way home I spilled the shrimp.
I laughed.

>>18565346
I survived off of croutons for three days once, croutons and cocaine.

>>18565494
What did you have to cook¿

>>18565543
This but with stale chips and crystal meth

Nothing. At one point in my life I had nothing and did not eat for a week and a half. If I could've caught a rat, I would've eaten it alive.

After a long night shift, I got some nacho plate at Taco Cabana. It was mostly crumbs, like tiny crumbs and hardly any ground beef or barely any cheese. It was the most pathetic meal I have ever seen. I just threw it away and walked out didn't even feel like dealing with the morons that were running that place.

>>18565392
/thread

>>18565519
God I fucking want her milk inside me.

I've told this story here before, but there was a significant period of time in my early 20s when I was literally penniless. It got to the point that all I had in my kitchen was a bag of flour and some salt and pepper. So for dinner, by which I mean my one meal, every night for nearly a month, what I'd do is mix a handful of flour with a little salt and pepper, wet it until is was dough-ish, kneed it like that was going to do fucking anything, roll it into a log, then boil it. Not in broth, I didn't have broth. Just water. Hard, faintly orange tap water. And when I felt like it was probably done... heating, because I'm not sure you can call that cooking, I would let it cool down and I'd eat my lightly-seasoned boiled gluten log.

And I fucking savored it.

>>18565346
One time during my post college drop out stint as a grocery store produce clerk I ate a whole log of pepperoni on a hand ripped french roll like a hot dog on the curb under the moth ridden closing shift lights

>>18565610
Sounds like dumplings my mom made me as a kid, was also super poor. Sometimes she would boil a chicken breast with it

I used to be a le epic slav larper when i was 17 and watched life of boris
One winter night i came home and made
>slice of bread
>a single pickle
>slice of cheese
>glass of vodka
All on a paper plate. Everything got soggy from the pickle juice and the vodka burned my tummy.

>>18565534
same, it's too good not to be real

>>18565346
Was so poor I had only flour, oil, marmalade, rice and soy sauce for two weeks. Started feeling ill after a week and scraped together enough change to buy some Tang so I didnt develop scurvy.

Breakfast was fry bread, unleavened, with marmalade. Lunch was a glass of Tang, and dinner was plain rice with soy sauce.

This persisted until I found a pack of beef jerky my dad had given me to try last time he visited that had sat forgotten in ky backpack for two months.

There was no foodbank nearby where I lived and I was carless so I just dealt with it until I got my first paycheck at my new job.

I toss my wife's used panties into a cup of hot water and drink her pussy broth

>>18565618
The only difference is "post college" vs "college" so you have a few points in your favor anon. It's not all bad.

>>18565659
>drink my coochie broth, incel

>>18565346
I ate alone at a KFC and never felt more embarrassed and lonely.

i ate an entire little caesars cheese pizza by myself last year
probably the most calories ive had in one sitting by a long margin

>>18565618
I got gout by doing shit like this. careful with processed meat in large quantities

:[

>>18565659
how did it taste

My boyfriend never gets/does anything romantic for me. One day at the grocery store I bought frozen breaded shrimp(seapak?) as an easy meal to do one night.

He baked these for valentines day. I almost cried.

He left that night to go fishing so I door dashed from an indian place, got drunk. It was 10/10 though

context: He got me a gift HE wanted for christmas. I never use it, he does. My birthday is days before valentines and he did nothing. I was v sad.

Could be any birthday in the last 10 years

When I was dieting I would eat the dumbest shit as "meals" larping wannerexia. Like shredded iceberg lettuce, pickles, and tuna as a salad
>>18565816
Those frozen shrimp are good
>>18565782
No, you didn't, you just like King of the Hill

>>18565839
yes I did wtf are you talking about

>>18565346
ONE
MAN
WOLF
PACK

>>18565459
Jesus...

>>18565346
just a regular meal of pork chops, green beans, kraft mac, but it was at my very poor sisters house and i just. god i felt so bad, how do people live under the poverty line?

not me, but i knew a guy who was living out of his car and he once told me "you don't know depression until all you have to eat is Bar-S bologna out of your hand." nigga would rather have cancer-meat than bread
that's the most depressing meal i've ever heard of

>>18565782
>gout
Nigger are you a medieval king? How much slop did you eat?

>>18565346
Too identifiably depressing to share on Hiroshimoot's honeypot... but speaking as a fatty, let's be honest, depression with food is preferable to depression without food, so it's never too bad. Every kcal is like a little friend.

>>18565346
For me, it's canned food from the can. Corned beef, chili, beans. Canned fish is more socially acceptable but it's really the same.

>>18566036

>>18566042
>>18566036
>that'll be $15 please
>*machine shows tip option*
what do?

>>18565459
When I lived in Manhattan with my sister, I saw supermarkets in the area selling single-serving Thanksgiving dinners.
I'm sure it was meant more for single yuppies but I couldn't help but imagine some poor old lady, all alone save for her 37 cats, eating barely warmed turkey with horridly congealed gravy, the tray sat on one of those rolling hospital meal carts so she could eat it from her armchair as she stared blankly at the TV she was too poor to afford cable for.

>>18566039
Most meme diseases are still depressingly real anon.

>>18565655
That's based. You survived off the bare necessities and took the effort to try to make the most of the basics you had. Not depressing in my opinion, just a truly hard time. To me, depressing is when you have free access to good food and still choose to eat garbage.

>>18566051
I knew a girl who got scurvy.
After that, we called her Cap'n.

>>18565519
>>18565608
You've activated my Trap Card. Please return your Ethnopass to your nearest Ethnoffice

>>18566039
I got it from landjager. I bought a ton of it from a butcher and was snacking on it like crazy. my father and grand father had it too so genetics are another factor

Im always doing fucking dark magic with my meals given Im poor atm, but I remember a lot of sad meals I had that werent bad, in fact they were from restaurants, but were pretty shitty because I had no one to share with, nor had a good moment to think about when eating.

But in spirit of the struggle, mashed beans. With very greasy chip leftovers. It was a full meal, but i felt awful eating it. All that oil in one sitting made me sick but I had to eat.

One tike I made pancakes from sratch and I had to substitute milk for whey, eggs for questionable quality yogurth, and no vanilla because money was running out. plus flour with a few moths. Dense as fuck but pillowy.

I once made subpar soup. It had 2 carrots and 2 month old onion scraps. Thankfully I have lots of spices so I made it work, but it was essentially chicken flavored water with a few vegetables floating around. I didnt even have salt I had to steal some.

Nonstob baking. Flour is one of the cheapest ingredients so I learned to bake in order to not eat fried dough. Just flour water and spending all of my money on a yeast package I kept alive for a long ass time, and I made it work.

>>18565810
like water with faint pussy taste

essentially exactly how you would think it does

>>18565346
After my divorce I ate the leftover wedding cake we had saved for our anniversary.

>>18565608
Do not fall for spiteful big tiddy whores, brother...
Instead find small/medium tiddy tomboy with nice hips/ass.
>As Snoop always says it best to grow & roll your own...

Marry the tomboy, have sex with tomboy, have baby with tomboy wife.
Encouraging breast feeding for baby health & bonding with mother/child.
Enjoy tiddy growth & her baby fever
Help her loose some baby fat after birth...
Rinse & Repeat until you got perfect smokin' hot milfy wife w/ fat tits.

THATS THE CREAM

>be me
>17 in summer of 1992
>put in jail for weekend because reasons
>get fed twice
>by some mentally ill cretin who would cluck
>"here kitty kitty kitty"
>then cackle like some witch as she brought the tray to the door, reeking of body odor, her mound of pussy hair flowing over the band of her jeans
>tray contents:
>room temperature milk carton
>room temperature hot dog without bun or condiments
>room temperature apple sauce
>room temperature green beans in puddle of saline solution
>room temperature fruit salad in puddle of liquid corn syrup
>pretty sure it was all cobbled together from a dumpster behind an elementary school
It was the only time in my life I was unable to eat what I'd been served.

>>18565346
probably sushi from trader joe's shit tastes so off.

>>18566380
you fucking fag

>>18566375
>17 in summer of 1992
dis u?

Oats in cold water

>whole cake for yourself
how is this depressing lol

>>18565346
as a kid i used to make ketchup sandwiches. i thought they were the shit.

>>18566609
I like egg ketchup sanduskys

>>18565543
Considering you can casually go three days without eating I don't see an issue. The croutons probably made it worse.

>>18566039
I met a guy who has it. I made several similar jokes to his face until the people around me confirmed he wasnt joking. I had mixed feelings about it later.

>>18565346
Fiance left me years ago. She took all the pots and pans, bitch even took the toilet paper. I cooked a hotdog over the gas stove stuck on the end of a fork and ate it without a bun, with ketchup. I hate ketchup.

>>18565365
The packaging, a wrapper instead of a box.

Poor growing up and since summer school didn't span the entire summer, I couldn't get my breakfasts or lunches from them after July.
I resorted to whatever was available at home (which wasn't a lot) and tortillas with salt or mayo would be all I could scrounge up.

>>18565816
Then why the hell are you still with the guy

>>18565519
Zamn, just her face alone gives me a boner.

3 years ago I had plans to kill myself. Went to a local chicken joint and ate three 32 oz. plates of pulled pork poutine with a chocolate milkshake by myself. Didn't work out and ended up puking my guts out from drinking a bottle of vodka with all my meds.

>>18566039
Gout is mostly common in alcoholics

>>18565355
Been there

>>18565346
One time I was so poor that I tried to make bechamel with water instead of milk, foolishly thinking that the cheese would carry the flavor. It did not.

>>18565346
Jail food basically.

>>18565346
First day in my new apartment after starting grad school. All I had was an almost entirely empty bag of rice and a can of cream of mushroom soup. I fucked up cooking the rice since it was a new stove for me and it didn't get as hot as I thought it would so it simultaneously ended up like rice porridge but also under-cooked. That was all my rice so I couldn't just cook more.

It was about as appetizing as you could expect when combining rice slop with grey mushroom slime. 2/10, would not recommend.

>>18565816
>tfw its your girlfriends birthday but the fish are biting

>>18566977
>girl

>>18566045
Revolting stuff dude. Do you have depression? I get those deep dark thoughts too sometimes. I think normies can sense it when we're together and someone they immediatedly view the same thing as depressing too.

BTW how did you survive NYC? I am visiting there for a weekend in December and am afraid of being ripped apart by hoodlums

>>18566059
I want to be friends with you and your friends

>>18566341
Oh ffs I can picture you in a dark basement, lit up by a chest freezer and eating like a cave man

>>18566983
gay guys don't fish

>>18566837
I can fix him.

>>18565346
Ah blooo blooo wahhhhhh Im so depressed I have sustenance. Fuck you. Starve and die.

>>18565790
The walls look like they're in decent condition - not moldy or made of clay. And the food in the can won't make you sick (like eating clay the african way)

>>18567018
no one says that

>>18567011
What have you fixed so far? How long did it take?

>be 7
>read the Bone comics as a kid
>favorite series
>one of the characters eats a peanut butter and pickle sandwiches
>made one for myself
>take a bite and throw up everywhere
>mom comes downstairs and hits me
>asks me why I would waste food
>say I saw it in Bone
>she throws away all my Bone comics and bans me from getting anymore
looking back I probably deserved it

>>18566871
>local chicken joint
>pulled pork poutine
You went to a chicken joint and didn't get chicken?
You fucked up, anon.

>>18565346
I wasn't talking to my family bottle of whiskey a day, homeless.
ate a tough shitty steak at a hotel and cried afterwards
that was probably one of my more depressing meals.

got a new job and had to travel to pendleton Oregon and after work I went to perkins near the hotel by myself and had a very freezer burnt steak for my 25th birthday

>>18565346
Anchovy and tonkatsu sauce cheese wrap. It’s all I had and it was disgusting.

>>18565526
Kek

>>18566355
Bless you Macho Man

>>18566355
>yeah bro just have the perfect girl fall into your lap it's that easy bro

>>18565610
Seth?

One of my birthdays the power went out, I know I had a burger from the grill but I think the propane also ran out so it was half-cooked or something. I just remember it being a cold shitty burger in a cold shitty evening.

>>18565459
Power outages always make food miserable.

>>18566045
Assuming I'm not poor enough I'd never want to eat any TV dinner prepackaged shit. I'd rather just do something simple for thanksgiving like tacos or stir fry.

>>18567140
You deserved worse. I would have put them in a bonfire and made you light the match and watch them burn, slapping the side of your head with a wooden spoon every time you tried to turn away.

Every meal since being broken up with

>>18565816
>My birthday is days before valentines
You always got valentines theme presents? Right?

Sleep is the poor man's dinner.
>D'artagnan

>>18566375
>room temperature hot dog without bun or condiments
So a sausage?

>>18566609
I used do the same but with microwave popcorn instead.

>>18566977
no, mine is in march

ramen and popcorn in the same meal

>>18565346
Poutine

>>18565346
Microwaved hot links chopped into one of those big bags of baked cheetos, paired with two cans of Mike's Harder and the rest of my xanax. This was in an Extended Stay in Tempe a few weeks after the divorce. The microwave didn't have a turntable so you had to turn the hot links every minute or so, haven't seen that before or since.

>>18565346
There is meal that I ate that was the most infuriating meal I've ever eaten but this isn't that thread. The most depressing meal I've ever eaten was one Christmas before I moved away from home. It was my second year working and I paid for everything and cooked it all.

I drove two hours to get a fresh duck which I cleaned myself and roasted, and th other meat was a honey and mustard glazed ham. I also made macaroni with 3 cheeses from scratch, green bean casserole from fresh beans, stuffed potatoes, a vegetable medley and eggplant cups. I also made and a black forest cake with cherries and a second sugar free chocolate cake for my diabetic parent. I also had bought Chambord and champagne for after dinner drinks, thinking that we could sit around and chat.

Everyone said the food was really good, making sure to mention how much better it was than other relatives who have generously hosted us in the past. The entire dinner was spent with them talking shit about different people and how much they hated them. After dinner everyone left to sit in various corners in the dark avoiding our parent who immediately went to go watch TV. While I cleaned up dinner alone I could hear my siblings making fun of me for getting upset that my brother had drank all the champagne out of the bottle before I could pour any.

Thankfully I grew up and got some sense so I don't have anything to do with them anymore.

>>18567884
You sound like a fag

>>18566695
It's really the taste.

>>18567900
you just make his meal that much more depressing kek

>>18567900
No, he has something called "Stolz".

>>18565459
You eat the entire pizza? Plans for this Thanksgiving?

>>18566355
Shut the fuck up you lonely weirdo. Snoop dog is a nigger. Now gb2reddit

>>18565591
There are places where people in your position can get groceries and even cooked meals anon..

>>18565610
Why are there so many people in this thread starving and eating boiled flour logs when food banks exist

>>18568026
Food banks have an extremely negative connotation. It's a pride thing.

>>18568026
larping

>>18567990
>You eat the entire pizza?
Yes
>Plans for this Thanksgiving?
I'll be going to a fairly remote area overseas for work at that time so I'm probably going to eat local junk food alone

>>18568026
pathological avoidance
nearly gotten me killed more than once

>>18565346
After my mom died I tried to make her chili recipe and it came out aggressively bland.

>>18566341
Oof that's the best so far in this thread I think

>>18565346
3 days old big mac and fries reheated on a radiator.

>>18566609
I like ketchup spaghetti. I would never admit this to anyone though and ironically enough I'm a huge pasta snob

>>18566871
maybe having a full stomach actually saved your life?

During a rather nasty bit of weather some years back, I'd had Newsham ask Mrs Stoke to make some blintzes but was told we were out of caviar. While he'd offered, I couldn't rightly send the poor chap out into the storm for a tin, at least not without seeming like a monster, so there I was, sat in the conservatory with some rather dull blintzes and no caviar. You've not known the boundless depths of depression unless you've sat in your conservatory eating blintzes without caviar.

>>18566375
>summer of 1992
Weird question but were you in jail for raping Kevin Nash?

>>18565346
Food the cashier bought because I didn’t have any money.
Went to order and realized there was nothing in my wallet, and he bought it for me.

>>18565346
Probably leftover pasta, just plain pasta that was boiled since sauce was cooked separately and I heated the pasta in microwave and ate it with ketchup. Nothing else but fusilli and ketchup.

>>18565790
this nigga eatin...beans?

>>18565346
About 20 years ago I ate at "Nick's Place", which we chose because we could see the name of it from the highway on a road trip and we were hungry (before smartphones and online review sites).

The place was a low end banquet facility that pretended to be high end, and doubled as a restaurant when not booked.

The food was overly expensive, very bad, and served very earnestly by nice highschool kids in cummerbunds and tuxedo shirts.

Would you like a salad sir? There's only one, chef's salad. Iceberg lettuce, underripe tomatoes, boxed croutons, a sliver of red onion, plus a few garbanzo beans. Why yes, we have ranch.

It just went downhill from there.

Pussy.

Ate a McDouble.
By myself on Christmas eve.
Was at a low point.

>>18569212
Why would that be depressing?

>>18569259
First time I ate pussy was depressing because it was disappointing. I expected it to be a magical, life-changing experience, but it was alright.

>>18569263
How was it for her?

>>18565346
processed american cheese slices, chopped salami, into leftover pasta, microwaved
I just wanted something warm

>>18567722
Nobody in their right minds thinks of hot dog weiners as sausages.

>>18569322
Weiner is slang for sausage.

>>18565346
50/50 mayonnaise and dogfood
the worst part is that it wanst half bad, but i guess half of it wasn't mayonnaise so math checks out

>>18569266
She "came", but she was also my first gf and we were very much in love, so that could've just been her lying or convincing herself it was great. It was my first time doing it after all, so I don't know how good I could've really been.

>>18567011
Homo

>>18565346
had plans to have a whole bunch of buddies over for a bbq, a whole bunch of bullshit happened to all 10 or so and noone could come, but i had the meats and veggies prepped and out so i had to cook, and i made an excellent bbq for one. Food was great, but man it didnt feel great having a night i planned go to shit like that. Drank myself silly alone and ate homemade burgers and homemade fries with some brats and zucchinis that night. I made up for it later, but i plan my shit way in advanced now, it had been years since id been so bummed out that day.
Another contendor was cold canned bbq chicken with crackers with fruit rope, trail mix and a shitty orange at a scout camp, raining like shit and still like 103 degrees out, i fucked up my back really bad the day before so im alone at camp and couldnt sleep from the muscle spasms so i was tired as shit, hurt really bad, and the meal was just awful. Ate that bullshit every lunch for 2 weeks since it was given by the camp. My troop never let that happen again because of how awful it was, I learned to cook as a kid so i could avoid it

>>18565346
Just now steamed turkey breast, steamed frozen peas and carrots and plain white rice
Not the most depressing, but pretty grim

I worked as a cashier in a supermarket in 2009 and would buy a slice of cheesecake to eat in my car on break.

chunky soup straight from the can

>>18566968
you never had tha Asian special where you combined the cream of mushroom and the new England clam chowder?

>>18566038
No cares about your mental illness, schizo

>>18565459
>tap water

did you just imply that tap water is to be considered depressing?

>>18569328
Shut you semantic fag or you'll get my sausage up your ass

Flour tortilla, canned refried beans, and "cheese" from velveeta mac and cheese

Sad because at the time I thought this was clever homemade sloppa bell

>>18565816
To the trash it goes

>>18567884
>fresh green beans

Woah a fucking gourmet over here.

>>18565346
Ihop for my 18th birthday. My parents had fucked me over for doing some edgy shit half year prior and were still holding it against me. I spitefully had said that i would rather go to ihop than have them make anything for my 18th birthday. Then I went to the shitiest Ihop in the us that was entirely mexican and awful. Nothing more depressing than having some dead end mexican man hand you some pancakes while you feel the soul drain out of you. All because you made one wrong joke in high school and have had everything ripped away from you and not even on your birthday can you catch a break. So yeah the food was shit too.

>>18565346
Microwave "carbonara" which i improved with slices of cheese.

>>18569574
What was the joke anon

>>18569574
Anon what did you say

>>18565346
When I was in the hospital being treated for anorexia I would frequently get heart palpitations. So one evening it was really bad and I thought I was probably going to die that night. I considered eating a real meal for a change before going to bed. Then I just ended up eating a small, wrinkled apple that I nibbled on for like 10 minutes

Had a birthday on a work day, had no friends at the time since I moved away. Parents were overseas. Brought a cake to work and left it on the table and asked people to take a slice since its my birthday, no one did.

>>18565459
Holy based. Thanksgiving is a fake holiday anyway.

>>18565816
I can take care of you, baby. Me and my mighty 4-incher are here whenever you need us.

>>18565816
your boyfriend is a chad

I would cook two packs of mr noodles, throw away the flavour pack, drain the water out and dump curry powder in when i was like 19

That's probably the worst because i'm not a degenerate and I taught myself to cook pretty well in my early 20's

>>18569322
retard

>>18565346
Zaxby’s 6 finger plate followed by a Red Baron supreme pizza with a sprite while watching the phantom menace. I never understood why people hated Jar Jar until I watched that movie like a proper goy.

>>18569655
Should have sliced it up

one time my buddy and i got lost hiking in the forest in the middle of winter and by the time we got back to his car the battery had died, we ate packets of ketchup until we finally managed to get a all through to our other friend who came to find us

>buy popeyes tear 'n share chicken tenders
>no one to share it with
: (

my mom is getting older and her foods start getting worse
but I still eat them and tell her its good
it get kinda annoying when I feel like ordering out or go out
but she go ahead and cook some shit anyway

Alone on Christmas Eve in my ghetto Baltimore rowhouse eating royal farms chicken strips and western fries. Washed it down with Old Grand Dad and Natty Boh till I blacked out.

>>18570209
Paulie and Christopher?

>>18565346
i was leaving town so my fridge was empty i only had flour and stock cubes so i made dough balls poached in stock cubes.

>>18565346
The crumbs from the bottom of the biscuit tin...

Skin of potato pealed and baked in the oven... the skin had black spots and shit on them.. that was supposed to be ''chips'' for my birthday

>>18567722
Yeah, for sure. When someone throws me a pic related without a bun or condiments, my first thought is this is exactly like a brat or spicy Italian or something, because it fucking totally is.

>>18567884
This is why you don't associate with poor people. Once you leave the lower classes, you must never look back.

Bare chicken mortadella, I was that broke.

>>18565346
In high school, we had a secret Santa program - everyone would put in a slip of paper to their teacher with what they wanted, so students could get them for each other. I asked for a big bag of cherries. Come the day of gift giving, I picked some weeds near my bus stop I misidentified as water hemlock, and put them in my hot water bottle. I received my cherries from someone I thought hated me, and he wished me well for the holidays. I snacked on the cherries throughout the day, saving all of the pits for lunch. At lunch, I ground up the pits to the best of my ability, which didn't do much but leave shards of pit in my mouth. I washed down each mouthful with the weed tea. After I finished, I went outside and laid behind a dumpster, waiting for the effects to hit me. Nothing happened. I got up with the bell, went to class, and acted like nothing happened.

>>18565346
In college during winter break I was lazy and didn't go shopping for a while because it kept snowing so I ended up with only a red onion and a can of bean. I figured the onions would cook and soften up enough if I just chopped them and threw them in a pot with the beans. The beans were just getting warm when the power went out because of the storm.
Lukewarm beans with raw onion tasted pretty bad and the texture was horrible.

>>18570341
if well made it kinda sounds good

>>18570488
You tried to kill yourself with the cyanide from the cherry pits? What was the hemlock tea supposed to do?
As someone who’s thought a lot about suicide lately your story made me really sad. I hope you’re okay now?

>>18565346
Spaghetti, ketchup maybe some dried oregano. I was a drunk then.
Or 3 frozen aldi pizzas for 3 bucks.

>>18570889
The hemlock was insurance for the cyanide not being strong enough. I didn't want a scene, I wanted to go quietly, in a place I'd become familiar with over the course of the year.

I've come a ways from then. In June, my grandmother told me father I was her pride, the best in the family. I never got to call her before she went. Needless to say, it was bittersweet moment hearing him tell me that over the phone.

>>18567011
Hey, my gf left today after two years of me drinking, blacking out and fucking her up. I just wanted the succ so just leave the guy for someone who'll buy YOU breaded shrimp.

When I was a broke as fuck college student I used to dishwash at a sushi restaurant. You would get entire wooden boards of untouched sushi people wasted constantly, and like it’s sushi so you know it’s not picked at like it’s ready to go. Problem is I hate sushi with a passion, but I was so hungry and broke that I would choke it down anyway and dry heave half the time. My boss would get pissed if he caught me eating it too so there were several times I would grab a roll and hide in the utility closet in the pitch dark almost throwing up wolfing down other people’s leftover sushi.

>>18571024
>hate sushi with a passion
I can understand not liking any one kind, but sushi as a whole? Do you just not like rice?

>>18570394
Yes. And they're all perfectly interchangeable with lap cheong, kransky sausage, rookworst and merguez, too. You fucking Amerimong.

>>18571097
I get it. I also don't care for sushi, either. It's just meh to me, though, not vomit-in-the-closet bad. Just very, very thoroughly meh.
And yes, it's every single kind I've had. Amerisushi might be the only sort that approaches "good" but still manages to fall into "meh" for me.

>>18565346
I ate McDonald’s for lunch, and now I’m drinking a 40. I’m struggling, lads.

>>18565346
A guy I know once cooked mashed potatoes with gravy and meatballs. Individually, all great things, but he just mixed everything into a large pot and placed it on the table. It truly looked like a tub of pig feed.

>>18565346
I've eaten uncooked, unseasoned ramen noodles more times than I'm willing to admit.

I was at a restaurant once, and I ate a steak that wasn't cooked well done, so I sent it back. I had to do this TWELVE times until their idiot chef was able to do it right

>>18571590
With the seasoning sprinkled in it’s a great snack.

>>18565346
I spent a 4/5 month period eating nothing but peanut butter and the same subway sandwich. I occasionally had snacks from a local vending machine if the subway was closed.

>>18565346
Back in 2017 there was a 2-3 month period where I was not only dirt poor but also lost my sense of taste for no discernable reason (running theory was it was an odd interaction with medication) so I ate nothing but raw lettuce, carrots, and on a few occasions potatoes. Sometimes as a treat I'd eat a jar of banana peppers since I could just barely taste the acidity and that was better than nothing.
I'd also regularly chug vodka by the pint since it just tasted like tapwater to me.

>>18571510
Wishing you good luck and hope things get better, anon.

>>18572248
Vodka would still be burning your throat. It isn't flavor that does that.

>>18566900
I'm an alcoholic and eat like shit and my feet are fine. My friend though who never drinks but also eats like shit has it

>>18565346
When I was studying in college and working the worst shifts, I'd come back late and just make myself sliced bread buttered toasts covered in sriracha as a meal.

Nothing you make at home is more depressing than goyslop. Stay strong.

>>18566375
Nigga you almost 50 posting here

>>18569489
Part of me thinks that would be good but I'm also horrified to try it

>>18567359
Did you even BE yourself?

>>18572853
And it will happen to you.

>>18569657
get bent gaywad

>>18572875
I'm almost 40. Even back in late '00s I felt like I was a bit to old to be here, wild to think that dudes in their 30s were here even back then

>>18565346
This at lunch break at work on Thanksgiving and realizing that even if I was home I would be alone eating the same thing

Mayo and jelly sandwich

>>18569657
>t. Chief Chugs on Hand Sanitizer

>>18565346
Was super broke but still keto. Had an avocado i got off a tree a few days ago and it was about to turn. Went to dollar store and stole a pack of bologna. Made avocado wraps with the balogna

>>18565649
As a genuine slavic man this sounds like a nice dinner

>random weekend
>was feeling lonely for once
>made some salmon and mashed potatoes and baked vegetables
>called a relative offering a hot meal just to hang
>sure be there soon
>hours later called said they were busy clearly at a party elsewhere
>ate my food
>tasted great
>sad inside

>>18573254
:(

A pizza box from the garbage with half a pizza left in it.
It wasn't depressing until I realized I enjoyed it.

>>18568166
I ate plain pasta all the time in college. Didn't have ketchup though so I just put pepper on it

>>18565346
Bum wines, fifths of %10ABV fruity '''wines''' you can buy for about $5, yields ~3cups worth. definitely worth one of the new anons to give them a try and report back with a value:buzz analysis.

>>18565365
the quarter pounder patties are fresh beef now
for some reason they do not use these superior patties on any other burgers

for a short period of time a few years back I got addicted to those little canned vienna sausages
I'd just grab a couple cans and eat them with saltine crackers

not really that depressing I guess since I enjoyed them but from an outside perspective it was probably a low point

>>18565346
Oats, soimilk, and almond butter blended together

>>18571024
>several times I would grab a roll and hide in the utility closet in the pitch dark almost throwing up wolfing down other people’s leftover sushi.
kek

>>18565346
every meal everyday

I once had no food but half a jar of peanut butter in my cupboard, so that's what I ate for the day.

>>18565346
I ordered taco bell once

>>18571622
>well done
You wanted the steak ruined.

>>18566837
She likes the dick.

>>18566341
That legitimately made me sad.

>>18570928
>3 pizzas for $3

walgreens frozen pizza on my birthday at like 3:30 am during the lockdowns. didnt see anyone that day or for like a week after.

>>18570285
Evan and Steve, the gay couple from down the block.

I suppose I have to thank god I can't remember anything before I woke up without being reminded.

>both parents are deadbeats, actively tried to destroy my life for not being pieces of shit like them
>finally manage to break them off my life, don't talk to either of them whatsoever
>grandparents dead
>no other family or close friends
guess I'm spending the rest of my holidays alone lmao

>>18566039
Both of my brothers and I get it. Drink everyday, have the genes, and be fat, it'll get you in your mid 30s.

I remember going to a fancy italian restaurant, ordering some fancy ravioli and getting a plate with 6 fucking raviolis and they where not even the large ones. This wasn't technically my moat depressing meal because I fucking left without eating or paying.

>>18573931
>I fucking left without eating or paying.
Supremely based

>>18570953
You'd need like a barrel of cherry pits to derive enough fatal arsenic.

Anyway, I had applesauce blended with all the meds in my house I could find. Really fucked me up. Can't eat anything apple now.

>>18565346
The first Christmas meal I ever ate alone.
Moved out on my own at 19 finally after a few years of abuse. Finally started earning enough to do so.

Didn't have any furniture to eat on so ate on the kitchen counter, just a basic chicken breast + beef joint, with some roast potatoes, sprouts/carrots, pigs in blankets and yorkshire puddings with loads of gravy.

Had some champagne as a gift from work so drank all that too.
Was a great meal, but lonely.

This year will be my 15th alone. (1 year my parents tried to make up, didn't go well)
Pic related, i've preordered these chocolate pinecones and 2 partridges that I need to collect closer to the time.

>spring final exams week in freshman year of college
>birthday was 2 days before my last exam so couldn't go home to celebrate it on the actual day
>all friends and roommates had already left
>living in the dorms and on a meal plan
>meal plan has entirely run out by now, just a handful of quarters to my name
>manage to afford a single bottle of Gatorade and a plateful of spinach
>also find a bottle of Gummi vitamins I had laying around
>stretched the Gatorade out into two watered down bottles
>19th birthday dinner consisted of sitting alone in my sweaty little dorm with no AC eating raw spinach (no dressing) with a side of Gummi vitamins and washing it down with watered down Gatorade

>>18569521
Depending on the area it is.

>>18574448
This is such a fucking stupid way to educate children. You need food. I went to the same shit in college. I remember stealing like three Doritos at a time from my roommate so he wouldn't notice.

Not me, but one of my best friends got married, his wife died just shy of his 1 year anniversary but he was too shocked/depressed to tell any of us about it until much later.
He ate two bites of the top piece of their wedding cake alone before he tried to off himself, convinced that he'll never find another person to love or love him.
He survived the attempt and we all learned about it from his step-brother telling us he was in hospital.
I would imagine those two bites, regardless of how sweet the cake actually was, were the most sad and bitter things he'd ever tasted.

>>18565346
>worked for a theatre production company
>depressing work day because barely any audience so money loss for the company
>cast and techies get dinner from hosting hotel at the end of the shift
>duck l'orange
>oh nice
>its a dry piece of duck jerky with overcooked vegetables and a piece of stale bread
Depressing, grim and next day nobody was in the mood to work.

>>18574513
>I remember stealing like three Doritos at a time from my roommate so he wouldn't notice.
kek

Bread with ketchup on it, instant ramen covered in sour cream, they were the worst. One of the best, one that always gets me through tough times and one that added to the enjoyment of good times. Rice, chicken, bacon, (it doesn’t need both but I’m a big fat fuck so I like to do both, sue me) avocado and caramelized and raw onion. And then I wash it down with a little ginger lemon water. I mean you gotta work it off a little after but it’s tasty.

>>18573952
15 mostly consecutive years?

>>18575817
Welcome to 4chan.

>>18574448
I lived on chicken ramen drowned in cayenne pepper, and chunky peanut butter and milk for like 2 months. I would also buy one sandwhich from the store for my sanity each week. Not the most effiecent use of my remaining funds but it kept me fullish

I ordered $60 of dominoes after an awful weekend that included being stood up on a first date, having a panic attack in a packed bar, and dealing with nerve pain. Didn't get close to finishing it, had an awful stomach ache, and just generally feeling hopeless. I don't look back fondly on much of my 20s, especially my mid 20s.

>>18574513
Sounds like you guys fell for the "you'll get burned out on that food bro just get the smallest meal plan bro" meme

>>18573346
I've never tried those but I've had 3 dollar white wines like Oak Leaf. It does feel a little satisfying to get buzzed for that cheap, you can do it, but the drunk for your buck is beat by bottom shelf vodka.

>>18565346
Here's my top 2
A while back I was in my first year at an out of state college halfway across the country. Thanksgiving rolled around and me and my family were too poor to afford me going back home for Thanksgiving but I didn't really know anyone on campus well enough at that point to ask if I could go to their house. So I sat alone in my dorm room watching dbz and eating cup ramen with sardines.

That same year my roommate told me that he was going to have a girl over that night and that I should fuck off. I decided I wanted to get fucked up but I didn't have enough liquor left to get drunk if I ate so I ended up skipping dinner and wandering around some campus hiking trails drinking fireball out of the bottle. Eventually ended up sleeping on the couch in our dorms lounge area.

Wife, gf at the time left the province to go visit her parents for the week of xmas. I was at home by myself for the first time in 2 years after we moved in together, and happened to also be working back to back 60hr weeks. Got off work on the 24th at like 8pm on a saturday evening, having broken the 60hr mark helping out, and swung by Burger King on my way home because all of the other restaurants were closed. Also happened to be the middle of it snowing pretty goddamn hard. I got myself a milkshake because I felt like I deserved it, and felt like it was the first good night I was gonna have since her and I were gonna have a video call so I could wish her parents and her a merry christmas. Was about a block from home, trudging through about a foot of snow in my old-ass work boots, of which the left one had a small enough hole in the left side behind the steel cap to let some water in. Felt like it was freezing but had my hot bag of a big-ass burger and fries and my milkshake in the other hand and believed that the moment I could bit into them and see my girl's smile, everything would be great.

Then I felt a rip in the bag.

Before I could react, the fries dumped completely out the side of the bag that had become too saturated with water due to the snow. Burger was halfways out and I had to sacrifice the milkshake to catch it before it also dumped into the snow and the disgusting grey slush piled next to the road. The burger survived but half the milkshake was dumped, and the fries were lost. Think something just snapped in me and I tried not to cry as I walked the last block home. Talking with her helped as we both agreed I'd quit in the new year, and life improved vastly once I did, but losing those fries felt like being stabbed when it happened.

>>18565346
A handfull of dry uncooked macaroni noodles.

>>18565346
Southern Fried Squash

>>18576180
kwab

>>18571099
>i am too stupid to detect irony
>i am a fucking faggot european

>>18566990
Just don't talk to strangers asking you for things

>>18566900
Worked with a Puerto Rican at Publix for a year, and this was back in like 2017 or whatever after that one hurricane absolutely annihilated PR and the dude went from owning his own business and having all these degrees to having to work fucking Grocery at Publix. In hindsight his gout problem makes so much more sense now if it's related to heavy alcohol abuse. Because I bet that poor man was getting blackout drunk pretty often considering his entire life got turned upside down overnight.

>>18576281
>i was just pretending to be retarded!
Fuck off, retard.

>>18570928
My peak shame meal back when I had to live with my fiance' at her parents house was canned Aldi beanless chili and canned Aldi mac and cheese, mixed together. It was a dark time. Glad I live in Montana now.

I cut up some candy coating brick and had that and some tap water for 4-5 days

>>18565346
When I was like 7 my mom sent me to school with only Saltine Crackers as lunch. This wasn't some public school where you could just go to the cafeteria and get lunch, it was a tiny Independent Baptist church that happened to build a separate building with desks and stuff so they could have an A.C.E school. So yeah if you didn't have food you had to beg it from someone else. We don't really talk anymore, shocker I know.

>>18565355
i do this with macaroni, its like an italian-chinese fusion take on fried rice

>>18565346
Rice and cheap hot dogs

>>18565346
>17, being a shithead to my family, they left me home on Thanksgiving while they went to have dinner at a friend's place
>only food in the house (aside from dry/canned goods and stuff) was two stale granola bars
>ate them while I contemplated my poor choices
Thankfully I've become less of a shithead since then, but my relationship with most of my family is irreparably broken.

>>18569577
>>18569594
I told everyone at school my parents were siblings with an incest-fetish and tried to get me involved in their love life. I even photoshopped me and my parents having a threesome and CPS came to take me away.

>>18565346
I had instant ramen for Thanksgiving one year because my shithead classmates waited until the last second to do their part of the project so we had to stay over break and finish it.

>>18576636
Why would you do that?

>>18576636
you deserve it for giving up on the joke

>>18565346
went out to eat for mothers day, my grandma ordered an omelet and it came out with the toppings on top of the omelet instead of inside the omelet. when asked to have the toppings inside the chef said he "didn't do omelets that way" and they didn't remake it.

>>18576636
Classic 4chan

>>18576656
It was a bit

Saw some discounted salmon at the hardware store today and thought, "why not".
I've hit the toilet 8 times now in the last few hours. My anus is in tatters.

>>18565346
New year's eve on 2020 is mine:
>no friends or family wanted to do anything, am terminally single so no gf either
>worked from home the whole year and was so tired of being in my house
>deep fried some fish I had caught a few months prior and got piss fucking drunk, planning on shooting myself at midnight
>ended up fucking up and ND'ing my AKM into the wall right beside my head instead
The round went through three walls before stopping on a stud and I am close to deaf in my left ear because of it

This.

>>18566028
if she were smart she's be eating fried cabbage and rice-sauce-meat-veggies all day

then die of a heart attack in a year, but still

i bet making mac n cheese from scratch is cheaper than kraft

>>18566044
i never tip because i live in seattle and know everyone around me would hate me if they knew my political views

>>18566056
That's not based at all. Dumb nigger literally forgot about the food in his backpack for two months.

>>18566837
chad

>>18567140
you got boned

Crunchy burnt rice flavored in pickle juice when I was just learning to cook after having been shoved out into the world with no skillset on how to live on my own.
I don't regret it. I've seen how little my peers are capable of in terms of cooking even at this advanced age.
There was the guy who only ate waffles and poptarts
The two guys who ate oily takeout chinese food every day and then let it sit for days outside of the fridge, in the end throwing it away and buying more.
The guys who get their parents to cook for them because they still live with their parents

>>18567900
actually he's the only normal one in the thread

>>18573311
butter, pasta and pepper is kino

>>18569577
that does not look bad

>>18565816
Why would someone go fishing at night?
Isn't it hard to hook worms in the dark?

>>18570209
>you didn't hunt and eat local wildlife
pathetic, i bet there was tons of edible greens you could've had too

>>18570488
i almost did the same lol i was so disappointed when i found out frozen cherries had no pits in them

ended up almost drinking wolfsbane extract

>>18570953
>my grandmother told me father I was her pride, the best in the family. I never got to call her before she went. Needless to say, it was bittersweet moment hearing him tell me that over the phone.

anon he made that up

>>18573121
pepperoni or salami with avocado is fucking amazing, add cheese and boom greatest keto snack

>>18573931
>I remember going to a fancy italian restaurant, ordering some fancy ravioli and getting a plate with 6 fucking raviolis and they where not even the large ones.
that's the case at any fancy restaurant that serves ravioli, never consider it the main dish

it's hard to make handmade ravioli, takes a while

>>18576782
Wait? People don’t tip in Seattle?

>>18576851
most do, but not me

Vienetta on my birthday, all alone, in front of the TV.

Gluten free bread with sliced Vienna sausages slathered in a layer of mayonnaise. It had good flavor i guess

I went to a family restaurant on Sunday's morning to have breakfast, all alone since I had a fight with my mother. I got myself some pancakes and a chicken sandwich, that it wasn't that bad and pancakes cheers me up. However, I could feel the glares and pointing from other families tables that made me feel sad.

>>18565346
In my deepest depression periods, it's microwaving canned soup, chugging a beer to get some semblance of appetite, then chugging the soup from the bowl because spooning it in me felt like too much work.

>>18567140
You're supposed to use breand and butter pickles, not regular pickles

>standing in the kitchen
>bag of bread
>ranch dressing in a bowl

>>18576990
how's Sunnyvale these days, Rick?

>>18566900
>>18572715
Am an alcoholic now, but I got it in my very early 20s. Genetics play a factor. As a matter of fact, allopurinol (decreases the body's production of uric acid) is on the top 6 list of required medications by the World Health Organization.
Just thought I was sleeping with my blankets tucked too tight and caused foot pain, but both the primary care doc and the urgent one when I switched networks said it happens to some folk. Or as the geriatric UC doc said, "God just makes some people different."

>>18565526
>On the way home I spilled the shrimp

>>18576808
Many fish only feed at night. He was probably going for catfish, that's why "noodling" is a thing btw, they spend the day chilling in their little mud holes

Horsey sauce packets

Some dude in the building I work in would get Meals on Wheels, which are prepared by convicts. One day they brought an extra one that I ended up with. It was rice and some sort of loaf of bluish meat that I couldn't identify, but I'm human garbage so I ate it anyway. Got terrible food poisoning and was laying in the dark for hours that evening dry heaving. Get an aggressive knock on the door and open it to discover the fire brigade because my ex called 911 on me. The night was a blur so I don't recall how she came to the conclusion, but she thought I was dying for some reason.
Come to think of it, the food IN jail was pretty goddamn bad, like just bologna on white bread with no condiments
>>18566341
Provided it's real, winner right here

>>18569481
Doing that shit saved my ass dozens of times when I was full on alcoholic and living with roommates I hated, that and Chef Boyardee ravioli
Saved me having to leave my room and interact with those assholes

for me it was thanksgiving dinner in county jail

>>18566341
Oh my god. Hang in there pal. You need a friend?

>>18566341
Just think, buddy, as she gets older, and used up, and slowly devolves into a spinster, male sexual value only goes up until it plateaus around 40. You'll be screwing a steady stream of horrifically inappropriate 18-20 year olds before you know it.

>>18574448
>Gatorade
>gummi vitamins
>spinach
Im sorry for your hardship, but that's fuckin hilarious

>>18576848
Iyeah you are right just was not prepared to pay 5 dollars for each raviolli on a 30 dollar plate, specially when it was on the Secondi Piatti section. What made me leave was that I asked for bread to at least fill my gut and they had thw nerve to say ot would be an extra 10 bucks. Fancy maybe was not the correct word that shithole wasnt even italian, it was customer trap that did not last 1 year.

>>18565649
raw onion, pickle, sardines and a glass of vodka is peak coldkino

>>18577328
ok 30 dollars is too much unless they have 5 Michelin stars

>>18565816
faggot

>>18576808
There are two tides every 24 hours. If a low tide is at night, you fish at night.

>>18577262
I found her new profile on faceberg. She doesn't do her hair or makeup like she did when she was with me. Looks like a goblin and her new husband seriously looks retarded. I'm now volcel and having a great time in life.

>>18576738
Deserved.

>>18576823
Well, it's possible. But I'm the only person in the family that isn't incarcerated, drugged up, psychotic, or raising gremlins at 21. I'm also the only one to get into (and finish) college. Who knows, though.

>>18566444
You won't even notice, and one day that'll be you. If you're lucky.