/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>18562930
Your gran-mamaw sounds pretty hot. Is she single? Could I marry her and become your grandad and then beat you senseless with a piece of firewood for serving your shitty poisoned /ck/ Injun chicken slop to our dear gran-mamaw? P.S. I love to spit indoors, check my insta for latest spit pics.

>>18562930
Two stupid bitches.

>>18562956
Never change, /ck/.

>>18562930
You should take this double act to vaudeville. You two could be a major hit.

>>18562930
You ever read a post and despite the fact that there are no spelling errors and the grammar is fine that you can just tell for some reason that this story didn't occur in a first world English speaking country?

What shithole are you from?

>>18562930
>>Tell grandma to buy a chicken I will cook for her
you better be a female

>>18563067
You probably got that feeling from me making curry instead of just boiling it and serving the water as a sauce like you are used to making it

>>18563067
It’s because of this bullshit
>”tell her to take it out of the freezer the night before”
>”when did you take it out of the FRIDGE”
>”I took it out of the freezer last night like you told me”
Why the fuck was the chicken off? She did what he said.

OP is a shit cook and faggot who poisoned his meemaw. Learn English, Sanjay.

>>18563154
Because it spent the entire night sitting in her kitchens table

>>18563156
Yea…but you straight up fucking told her to do that you dumb nigger

>>18563148
Thank you for completely confirming my post with this swing and a miss

>>18563156
Inb4 “I MEANT FOR IT TO GO IN THE FRIDGE AFTER DURRRR” fuck you, explain yourself better to people, especially senior aged loved ones.

>>18563156
Knowing she's a retard you should have specified out of the freezer and into the fridge, or even better, brought the chicken yourself

>>18563163
I told her to buy the chicken because she lives outside the city next to a supermarket and they only sell chicken frozen
I spent an hour looking for a butcher

>be ops grandma
>be old and sick
>incel neet grandson is visiting me
>'great maybe he finally got a job'
>instead he tells ME to buy a chicken for him to cook
>buy the chicken and follow his instruction
>incel grandson arrives
>spergs at me for following his own instructions
>decides to go out and buy ANOTHER fucking chicken instead of just ordering some stuff to eat
>spends the following two hours making some slop
>hungry as fuck by now
>nighttime already, incel grandson is finally done
>at this point so hungry I don't give a shit anymore and eat a double serving
>get a funny feeling in my stomach
>reminds me of the time I ate spoiled wartime rations
>get sick, can't even move properly
>incel grandson gets mad at me for eating his poisonous shit and leaves to post this story on 4chan for sympathy, calls me retarded
>spend the last 4 days shitting my guts out

You dont thaw frozen meats in room temp over night. You put them in water in the fridge.
Or put them under running water to quickly warm them up.

>>18562930
Imagine being such a bratty grown man that you call your grandma a retard

>>18563067
Esl posters phrase shit weird. It's always obvious.

>>18563165
>she lives outside the city next to a supermarket and they only sell chicken frozen
In OP’s defense unless grandma never eats chicken she should not only have known but also regularly used the proper defrost method since she’d always have to do it.

Post curry recipe OP.

>>18563185
I brought everything else with me, even my wok, I just needed her to buy the chicken because I couldn't bring a fucking chicken with me and I needed her to defrost it

I have accidentally left a frozen chicken out overnight (took it out to get at something else behind it, forgot what) and while it was indeed entirely thawed by the morning when I noticed it, it hadn't gone off at all. I put it into the fridge because I was on my way out (not neet, yay) and had roast chicken for dinner that night, no illness at all.
So I'm inclined to believe your whole story is nothing more than a load of bollocks, fuck you.

>>18563165
OP is Polish, I think. Only in Polonia have I seen frozen chicken as the norm in less developed area.

>>18563229
Why didn't you just cook at home and bring the food to her place ?

>>18563240
Because I wanted to spend some time with her and I wanted her to watch me cook and be proud of how good I am

>>18563235
I could get perfectly thawed poultry anywhere but she lives in a residential area outside the city with only old people and families with little kids, people there drive to the supermarket once or twice a month and buy everything they need so there aren't many local businesses, only a couple pizza places, a bakery and an old blockbuster they turned into a shoes outlet, it sucks because I try to get her out of the house but other than the bakery and an icecream store that sucks there isn't a single cafe around

>>18563246
Tell me what country you're from. Now.

>>18563271
Wakanda

Don't lie. You didn't buy a new chicken. You made a curry with the spoiled chicken. You were arrogant, you were brash, you thought if you used just the right spices, cooked it long enough...

>>18563275
I once bought a chicken and the next morning it was completely green and moldy, I just trimmed it and cooked it all the same and I was fine but I'm not going to risk my grandma's health

>visiting grandma
>tell her I'll cook for her
>buy a lamb shoulder, cut it up and marinade
>show up with all the ingredients
>prep jalfrezi, leave it to slow cook
>do some pruning in the garden, win at upwords
>make some rice and bread
>grandma loves the curry, enough for freezer portions too
>head home
I love my grandma.

Just make her popcorn instead next time.

I just realised that's a homosexual pizza.

>>1856410
Are you okay with it?

>>18562930
>How do you cook for retarded people
oh it's simple: you just give them plain rice or sauceless pasta or put frozen nuggets in the oven for them.

>>18563669
OP btfo. I'm glad you get along with her.

>>18563669
>visiting grandma
>she smells bad
>i don't cook her shit
>she doesn't cook me shit
And that's the day I found her dead in her armchair. True story.

>>18563185
lol good shit nigga

>>18563156
How hot is it in the house? I often take stuff out of the freezer and let it defrost on the counter over night then put it in the fridge in the morning, iv never been sick or had it spoil, it must be like 30c - 40c for it to spoil that quickly.

>>18563229
and now she is dead you moron

>>18563156
Yea and? As long as it's not over 100 degrees that thing will take 7 hours to defrost and will still be under 40° for couple more hours.

>>18562956
kek

>>18563202
>You put them in water in the fridge.
What?

>>18563202
I do it all the time.

>>18563185

>>18563185
Serves that old bag right for being a sex haver.

american chickens come with lots of chicken poop, and it's impossible for someone like OP to not cross-contaminate. Most UTIs originate from ingested chicken shit.

>>18562930
I think u ought to show more respect toward ur grandmama. She made it this far in this cruel world. Be more respectful. The main part that makes up the nice gesture of cooking for someone is free them from the hassle of cooking. Dont be bothering her and shit.

The amount of people thawing meat on the counter instead the fridge is too damn high

>>18562956
Cringe reddit-tier posting.

>>18565996
>amount
Number.

>>18566064
t. battered & bruised grandson wiping spit off the carpet

>>18565996
Third world immigrants always do this lmao. You can never tell them to sit the meat on a plate, they just lie the meat around which drips and overflows all over the counter and runs down the cracks and sides of kitchen benches and ovens. Insanely stupid for people who get good grades.
>t. every flatting experience with them

>>18566074
Fuck you. My grandmother is in and out of the hospital with pulmonary edema. I love her to death, you unloved piece of shit reddit-tier basement troll.

>>18562930
>criticize grandma for doing what she was told
>grandma gets sick after eating his food, which he had total control over
>Still has the absolute audacity to call her the retard.

>>18566084
She has a fluid buildup in her lungs from ingesting all of my cum.

>>18563669
>Grandma broke her hip
>Go up to her house to make food for her
>Go buy ingredients for a beef stew, get fresh steak, potatoes, carrots, etc. Even get suet to make dumplings. Have to buy a bunch of herbs since she doesn't have any at home
>Cook it and serve
>She eats it but doesn't look happy
>Ask her what's wrong
>Says she prefers her stew
>Decide to see what her recipe is, I'm pretty proud of my stew but always take an opportunity to learn a family recipe
>Take her shopping the next day
>I'm horrified as she gets tinned steak with gravy, canned potatoes, Canned carrots, canned peas
>Gets the very cheapest margarine possible and tells me to make dumplings with that instead of suet
>tells me to dump all the cans into a pot, water and all. Then add one, and only one stock cube
>Leaves it on for 8 hours even though it's all already cooked
>Serve it. There is practically no other taste than salt
>She eats 3 bowls and even mops up the gravy with bread

I know she lived through WW2, but come on. It was genuinely almost slop

Mmmmmoi chikent

>>18562930
>She gets sick
>Then blames my cooking
obviously

>>18566084
>I love her to death
This thread was started by a guy who cooked indian shitslop for his aged grandma and ended the post with the question, "How do you cook for retarded people".

>>18562930
>gets angry senile grandmother is senile
Why weren't you more specific about thawing the chicken? Why no buy a fresh chicken on the way?
Why make curry when you know your gran has a sensitive tummy? You can't be angry because she's old and picky. Elderly people turn into little kids again you must have patience with them and direct them.

>>18563246
>I wanted her to watch me cook and be proud of how good I am
Well you fucked that up didn't ya

This thread has me rolling but fuck makes me miss my gran
I'd give anything to sit and have meal with her again.

>>18567763
Maybe his grandma is Indian, you bigot. It's 2022, Indians are allowed to post on the internet now.

>>18567810
I have a feeling an Indian grandmother would have nitpicked the fuck out of him while cooking and what ever made her sick wouldn't have happen.

>>18562930
Maybe you're just garbage at cookin Gordpreet Ramsingh

>>18567813
At this point we just don't know what OP was imagining when he posted his wall of scatterbrained greentext on 4chan. Maybe he was assuming that the mods would delete it before anyone could see it, and he would have at least temporarily alleviated the weird "old married couple" sexual tension he has with his grandmother.
>"I love her"
>"She's retarded"
>NO U DONT UMDERSYAND
>I AM ANGERY
Are we going to read about this on the police blotter tomorrow?