/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>18351765
>that floor
Imagine the third world stank

>>18351765
First step, prep your microwave chopping station

>>18351772
I genuinely wish I could blame these awful slumlord floors on it being in the third world

>>18351789
Butter in

>>18351818
Bro you left the skin on

>>18351765
>One pan meal

ONE POUND FIIISH

>>18351820
Idk why, but I read this post and, then looked the pic and I keked hard

>>18351818
I’ve studied the blade, how could you tell

>>18351843
H-hayai!!!

>>18351843
Pro tip, frozen garlic lasts forever and is way easier to grate

>>18351853
The eleven herbs and spices, they’re secret, but I’ll give you one for free. It’s in the picture. Any guesses?

>>18351881
Too late, it’s black pepper and I’m almost out

>>18351884
Put the spice in the onion and shake it all up

>>18351892

>>18351937
Pan hat on, no peeking

>>18351798
Based slumanon
My slumlord died June, no wife, no kids, I'm sitting on $4k in back rent waiting for someone to turn the water off

>>18351940
It was a good day today

>>18351944
You feel through just the right cracks in the system.
That’s genuinely an interesting situation

Pic is below my shower. I had to wait a week for repairs before I could shower again. It was 100° all that week luckily

Your post is utter shit kys

this is wild, don't stop

>>18351984
I did my dishes for you

>>18352016
Cucumber snack while waiting. My friend grew these in pots on her balcony and her plant only produced like 8 cucumbers and she gave two to me!
These are the best cukes I’ve had, you can tel they were grown with the utmost love and care. I also watered them once so it’s like I grew them too.

>>18352039
These are too good to not quick pickle

>>18352059
You can peek now, almost done

>>18352088
These should’ve been green onions. Some might call this devils lettuce

>>18351843
Okay that was pretty funny

>>18352107
I thought I had leftover rice in the fridge.
Currently making rice.

Status: panicked

Jeez, this is a really bad thread anon.

>>18352127
>>18352205
Thanks

>>18352205
I'm doing my best ok

>>18352205
This, >>18352215 isn’t me, but how can I do better next time?

>>18352233
Don’t make a thread unless you have an interesting topic to make it about and maybe find a cure for your downs because holy shit anon it’s not as difficult to take a clear picture as you’re making it seem here wtf

>>18352246
People do cook alongs plenty on this board. It’s up to the reader if they think it’s interesting though.

I took a clear picture for you, I hope this helps.

>>18352287
grim

>>18352287
It looks okay, I'd eat it

>>18351944
based and squatter pilled, genuinely have no idea what to do in that situation though

>>18351951
Ommmmmmmmm
Annooooooon....

>>18352287
>first actually identifiable pic in the entire thread
>it’s abysmal
Sounds about right

these photos are really bad I have no idea wtf is cooking

>>18352295
>>18352303
It was pretty decent. It’s a Japanese-ish curry. 7/10

>>18352308
What’s up, friend?

>>18352323
>>18352324
What things should I work on? I took the advice about more clear photos already.
What should I cook to make a better thread next time?

>>18352355
If this isn’t an act and you’re actually so autistic that you don’t know what’s wrong with this thread, I’d say go into therapy and work on that first

>>18352336
>It was pretty decent.
wrong
>It’s a Japanese-ish curry.
wrong
>7/10
wrong

>>18352363
It’s clearly just an act. But regular photos are boring, and hardly relevant to how these threads typically go anyway, which is just ribbing each other and each other’s food. So I figure why not take weird photos since it doesn’t matter anyway.

>>18352355
tell us what you're cooking. or if it's a secret at least show us each ingredient and what each step is.

like nigga wtf is this >>18351892
>put the spice in the onion
>no mention that suddenly there's fucking chicken involved
>in a second pan
>one pan recipe
>wat is going on
I couldn't even tell posts were being made by OP or someone trying to derail his thread

>>18352397
>>in a second pan
>>one pan recipe
this was my biggest regret of the thread. I started cooking without knowing exactly what I was going to make, but next time I'll try to have that down pat before starting the thread.

>>18352287
Looks tasty, would enjoy with a cold beer/10

>>18352458
thanks anon, I might pick up a sapporo to go along with the leftovers tomorrow

>>18352389
>It’s clearly just an act.
Press ‘x’ to doubt

>>18352484
But why just have another normal cook along thread when I can make an abnormal cook along thread?

>>18352503
A lot of people can't understand enjoying something that makes little to no sense. I often find joy in the little things that exist for the sake of random absurdity and wish more people did too

>>18352481
Have an extra one for ya boi, getting over a stomach infection and still have a few weeks until I can potentially have alcohol again

>>18352425
nah fuck that. that anon is just being a meany head. you cook what you want booboo

>>18352538
Me too. Although I think next time I'll have slightly more narrative.
But the random absurdity made me think of this >>18351843, which makes myself laugh lol

>>18352543
Dang, hope it gets better asap. GI issues are always the worst.

>>18352544
thanks anon

>>18352551
Been on a soft diet for a few weeks now and can only really eat certain foods and they didn't give me a cut off date for it so I'll have to ask after I get an endoscopy in a few weeks. But I'm pretty fat so I've lost a few pounds and have been exercising more so it's at least had some positives. But still, can't wait to be able to enjoy things like hot wings or whiskey again

I enjoyed your thread op

>>18352538
>i'm so quirky and unique nobody understands me
I hate to break it to you, OP, but posting a bunch of pictures of nothing doesn't make you Lynch. If you can't make a proper cookalong interesting then maybe the problem is that you're not as interesting as you think.

>>18351820
Made me remember this absolutely retarded post, thanks

>>18352923
That wasn’t me, the op

>>18352973
His point still stands, you had one to Jon to do and you fucked up so now you have to sit there and get made fun of for it. If you want a “better luck next time” pat on the back you’re in the wrong place, turbo-sperg

>>18352995
>you had one to Jon to do
The irony isn’t lost on me. Fuckin whoops

>>18351944
Based inheritance. Ride on, bud.

>>18352995
Why does a thread bother you so?

>>18352039
They weren't for eating.

Nigga thinks this place is facebook. Gtfo you attention seeking faggot

enjoyed the thread

>>18353170
What sort of friends do you have that post pictures of food like this?

>>18352039

>>18353160
A thread died for this autist to post his meaningless blog entry complete with some of the worst camera work I’ve seen here in months

>>18353271
These kinds

>>18353304
Fuck of Kodakcuck

OP's shitty camerawork makes me think he's playing games with glowies trying to figure out his location

>>18353326

>>18351892
>>18351765
>One Pan meal
>Uses 2 pans
Unsubscribed.

>>18351984
fuck she's hot

>>18353441
I didn’t want you to find out like this. It’s just a friend’s pan, that’s all.

Hot thread

>>18352287
How do you make curry like that? I need to learn how to make the sauce.

>>18353739
For mine, I started by sautéing onions in butter, you can use oil too. Salt the onions, get them as light or dark as you like.
Add garlic and spices and let them bloom. I used s&b oriental curry powder and a few other random spices. If you want Indian curry just use Indian spices here
Then once the spices bloom, you can add tomatoes or water or broth, something to deglaze the pan.
Once deglazed you can optionally blend it.
Once blended add your choice of additions, root veggies, beans/lentils, meat
Add water if needed while cooking if it’s too thick.
At the end I sometimes mix in cream or butter or yogurt.

It’s super easy and customizable to your liking, it just takes a bit of time for everything to cook through, but it’s mostly hands off

>>18353739
Add tomatoes.

>>18353776
>>18353777
much appreciated, used to just making coconut curry and never bothered to learn that.

>>18352205
>>18352246
>>18352363
>>18352397
>>18352484
>>18352923
>>18352995
>>18353304
>>18353306
please kill yourself faggot

>>18353291
Thread ruined

>>18353291
I didn't see the file name until now, but kek. Also, mad good eye catching that.

>>18351818
it's good for you, there's extra vitamins

>>18352584
>But I'm pretty fat so I've lost a few pounds
Why not keep it up? The first 2-3 weeks are the worst when it comes to changing your eating habits. I was in a similar situation and I kept it up. I've shed ~50 lbs just by changing eating habits a little and walking a bit more than I used to. Now I can see my own dick without sucking in my gut.

>>18354667
make me

>>18352543
>>18353291
Went to get a Sapporo to go along with leftovers tonight and I ended up seeing my cucumber friend on the way back home. It’s always nice seeing friends after another good day

>>18353291
fapping

>>18351765
>one pan man
Any relation to One Spank Man?

>>18355263
It’s dinner time, ft. Sapporo and green onions today

>>18355456
Chef mike on rice duty

>>18355473
Green onion chopped status: poorly

>>18355486
Hot brown status: tepid

>>18355499
Dish status: ready

>>18355499
Looks like cat vomit. Must taste great

>>18355521
I almost forgot the pickles!

>>18355499
I want you to deposit that on my chest once you’ve digested it

>>18355532
idamarakushimasa as they say in japanese

quints?

>>18355529
>>18355536
Yesterday I said it was a 7/10, >>18352336, but I think today despite it's looks, the green onions, pickles and sapporo bring this up to a comfy 8.5.

It would have been 8, but it's chilly this evening and this is a nice dish to welcome in fall weather.

Anyone else cooking something tonight?

>>18355555

>>18355563
I didn't mean to take your quints, if >>18355554 this is you. We can share them

>>18355565

>>18355565
take the quints youve earned it

>>18355600
You’re not me nigga, go cook something and take strange pictures of it or something

>>18355604
he was replying to ME

>>18355618
>>18355604
>>18355600
I’m not sure what’s happening here, but you guys can have my quints, I don’t need them :)

wake up its breakfast HELLOOO

>>18353326
im more impressed with how everything looks like shit, except he's using a $150 all clad pan
>>18352088
Maybe next time take some of the cookware budget and move it over to shelter.

I enjoy cooking threads where theirs funny or weird shit going on in the background, or the OP is lowkey not talking about the more interesting thing in the image, but there's nothing interesting here. It's just some really mundane weeknight meal with a mediocre beer, but OP took dumb artsy fartsy pictures and is pretending that somehow makes it more interesting than it is.

>>18357698
I like the juxtaposition.

>>18358120
yet you keep coming back

>>18355486
>>18355521
So do you just wash & chop the green onions' stems or are they supposed to be cooked in some way?

So wtf did you make OP?

>>18358249
I just washed and chopped these. You can sauté them, roast them, pickle em, lots of options.
I like them raw here as they can cut through some of the heaviness of the dish, they’d also be good pickled for the same reason, but I had the quick pickle cucumbers for that instead.

>>18358268
A curry that was loosely based on japanese curry, with sweet potato and seared chicken with a side of short grain rice which was seasoned with rice vinegar and mirin.

>>18358582
You made a big thing out of calling it a one pan meal and you didn't even show the meal in the pan you silly cunt

>>18358609
The second pan came out of nowhere!

>>18355677
Anyway, today we’ll be making cavatelli. I made sure to make note of suggestions in this thread.

First thing you want to do is start by combining equal parts semolina, regular flour, and water. I’m doing 100g each and that’s roughly two portions. Let that sit for 30 minutes.

>>18359029
can we see the results after it comes out the other end this time

>>18359053
Yeah, hopefully.

>>18359029
Once the dough has rested we can start cutting off portions and rolling it into long snakes, as thick or thin as you would like, then cutting them to length. As long or short as you’d like.

Then optionally using a gnocchi board we’re going to gently, but firmly, press roll the logs, using either 2/3 fingers, or a butter knife.

The little log should ideally not stick and should slightly curve, leaving a little hollow portion on the inside.

Fun fact, cavatelli means little hollows!

>>18359130
Once finished, dust with semolina and put under a towel.

Next we turn on the broiler, then we wash and divide the tomatoes into two equal groups, one we’ll chop in half, and the other we’ll quarter.

If you don't pay the rent for a month before you live in it, you don't deserve to have a home at all.

>>18359205
Next we put the halves in the pan face down and drizzle with olive oil and salt, I didn’t pick up olive oil today as such I’m using butter.
Then we’re going to put a pot on the stove with water to boil the plaster and wash the kale.
>>18359248
Huh?

>>18359297
If you don't pay the rent for a month before you live in it, you don't deserve to have a home at all.

>>18359297
Once the kale is washed, we’ll remove stems and tear kale into bite-sized pieces.

After tearing, we’ll massage the kale with oil, salt, and balsamic vinegar, or any vinegar. When massaging, just squeeze it really hard.
>>18359303
Not sure I follow

>>18359339
The charred tomatoes are done. Mine got a bit more charred than I wanted, but they’ll be okay.
In the broiler pan I put butter, garlic and anchovy fillets to toast

>>18359365
those are probably delicious anyway

this is coming along nicely. do you have split personality disorder or something?

>>18359339
If you don't pay the rent for a month before you live in it, you don't deserve to have a home at all.

>>18359365
Once the garlic and anchovies are toasted, I added in some tomatoes and sauce from the previous dish. We’ll let this reduce a bit.
The next steps go pretty quick and I should have a finished dish in the next photo.
But since all our me’s are in place, we’ll toss the kale and roasted tomatoes in the pan, cook until kale is wilted nicely, also at the same time we’ll cook the pasta, which should be about 4 minutes, but ydy and check it.
Once ready, strain, add to kale and tomatoes, and finally add the fresh quarter tomatoes at the end just to slightly warm.

>>18359382
No, should I get one?

>>18359453
probably not

>>18359453
Finish with a drizzle of olive oil or Colatura di Alici if desired. I used that because I have no parm or pecorino atm
And as always, enjoyyyyy

>>18359484
Use canola over olive.

>>18359484
looks lovely. would probably be very nice with pickerel

>>18359484
All gone, was a good 8/10. I thought I was going to have leftovers today, but the weather of the day inspired me to make this pasta dish instead. I woke up and it was cold like a nice fall day, but it ended in the high 70s like a warm summer day, and this dish is also like in between seasons, with the contrast of the fresh and cooked tomatoes. And like another summer come and gone, a season of tomatoes will soon be gone as well.

>>18353776
Stupid question: if you put potatoes in curry do you pre-boil them? Or does the heat of the curry cook the potato?

>>18359504
The only fats I really buy are olive oil, butter and or lard because any other fat would go rancid before I used them.
>>18359530
I’ve had a similar one to that a long time ago, made for nice drizzling

>>18359552
I let the heat of the curry cook the potatoes. But I know some people build the sauce separately and add all the other ingredients cooked at the end.

>>18359560
I guess the size of the potato chunks may also be a factor into how soft they become

>>18359570
Yeah, and add things at the end helps time it out better too since you won't be worried about overcooking one thing and undercooking something else.

>>18358609
Hey, I just realized that this >>18359484 was a one pan meal! There was a pot, but just one pan!

>>18359649
The first meal which was advertised as a one pan meal was not shown in a pan you fucking charlatan

>>18359029
Now these are some good pictures.

>>18360208
pan picture with final dish minus rice >>18352088

>>18360991
thanks, I was trying to make them as clear as possible this time.

>>18359540
>>18359484
>>18359433
>>18359297
>I need a camera that can show me the placement of atoms in mass

>>18362074
My scanning electron microscope parts are held up due supply chain issues unfortunately.

threads not over til you show the poop anon

>>18351843
I like the cut of your jib!

>>18363703
the rare /ck/ poop post

>>18359553
Good things to come

>>18366253
It has come to this

>>18352943
translate it to human

>>18355555
check'd

>>18359504
terrible advice, never do this OP

>>18365101
so rare he didnt even post it

>>18366253
What is this?

>>18351951
>EY
Slumjob for a slumdog

>>18355473
Clean your fucking kitchen for fucks sake

>>18355555
Checked
>>18355554
Fail

>>18368731
Bread machine with basic white bread dough.

>>18368892
>EY
I just like the cup
>Clean your fucking kitchen for fucks sake
I did and was getting everything actually set up in a way that makes sense, and I was plugging stuff into an outlet and unplugged, and while pulling the cable the entire outlet pulled out of the wall and started arching. So it's clean now, just unusable because I need that plug for my appliances and stove.

>>18369235
Huh. I guess I've never actually seen a bread machine in progress before.

>>18369753
Yeah, that's fair, I've only really ever seen them at places like goodwill or garage sales.

>>18367236
Got (stole) pawpaws from a neighborhood tree today with friends. Pretty chill day, anons!
It was everyone’s first time trying them.

>>18370887
nice pawpaw bro, how's it taste?

>>18353291
nice, i would jack it to that for sure

>>18367281
fuck you
how's that?

Came to see how this thread was... "panning" out.

>>18351944
How can one anon squat in such a based manner? Fuck slumlords, you keep on doing what you're doing anon

>>18373755
Heh

>>18370887
>>18370887
Made a bologna and cheese sandwich on the whitest bread because I realized in another thread that I’ve never had one before.

>>18374462
wasn't bad, pretty quick and easy to make. What else should I do with bologna and white bread?

>>18374557
Fried

>>18374462
It’s trailer tier but you can fry the bologna and chop it up into some mac and cheese. Might work for fried rice too