/ck/ - Food & Cooking

carnivore. You'll shit once a week.

cheese and very little water.
and oxy

>>18333197
have a coffee and a cigarette like 20 minutes before you need to leave for the day

do omad and shit once a day usually right after you eat

>>18333197
Just wear diapers. If you train your ass muscles you can induce incontinence and your messes will be pretty predictable

Got you OP.

>>18333197
just eat at the same time everyday and avoid snacks. that way you will poop like a clock

>>18333197
Overwork yourself at a shitty startup job in your early 20s, then develop a drinking problem and teleport home shitfaced every night. Never eat any solid food. I went months between solid shits.

>>18333333
Checked

>>18333197
In the short term even people with ileostomy bags can stop the nonstop flow of bile / intestinal content by eating large marshmallows.
Longer term, look into the 'low residue' diet for foods that produce the least non-nutritive bowel content. Used in hospitals a lot for GI problems. Long story short: avoid fiber.

>>18333197
Shit at home in the morning before you shower.
Your mother should have taught you this.

>>18333333

>>18333358
>Everyone shits once a day

>>18333197
You need to go deeper into the cravace and make any public restroom feel comfy like home.
Just own that motherfucker. It all starts with confidence, attitude and believing its it's yours.
>Verification not required

>>18333474
This. Rub out a quickie to get comfortable.

>>18333197
start doing heroin

>>18333351
Can I just have any marshmallows, or does it have to be large ones specifically?

>>18333358
I always wake up in the morning, shit, then walk around and lay on my stomach for like 20 minutes to get the bowels moving.
nothing worse than leaving for work at the last minute and having surprise bubble guts while you're driving 2 miles from your house

>>18333317
Why do I have to be cursed with attraction to taking dick

take 4 scoops of this with water at night. wake up in the morning, have a sip of coffee and proceed to shit immediately. thank me later

>>18333494
Not sure smaller ones will fill up as much space to stop you up.

>>18333333
>:l

>>18333333
Drinking makes me shit more. Way to waste a hex get you fucking cunt. I hope you die.

>>18333197
Just Eat MREs.

>>18333333

>>18333474
Going on an extended road trip where you are forced to use truck-stop restrooms for weeks is a great way to overcome fecal agoraphobia and make some lifelong bathroom buddies. Or join the army so you can shit in a bucket while rubbing elbows and comparing the lease terms of your 2022 Dodge Challengers.

>>18333197
6 grams Kratom half an hour before every meal. You'll shit once a week and you'll feel comfy for a few hours

>>18333317
>tfw not gay but still find this useful because I hate having to shit when I'm in public

>>18333333
Nice man well done

>>18333250
I don't get the "coffee makes you poo" meme
Has never hap

>>18333932

>>18333216
this if you want hairloss, kidney problems, and low T

>>18333271
Is that poop cigarette

>>18333333

>>18333333

>>18333282
This. Have no problem shitting in public but having an absolutely reliable, single shit each day is a nice side effect of one meal a day diets.