/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I am from USA and spent almost a month in London and was actually blown away by the breadth of dining options and how delicious the food was.

>>18212484
No. Shut up. EVERYTHING is like the memes and we need to say silly things so OP can screencap this for r/4chan.

>>18212455
Fuck off we're full you dirty brown cunt

>>18212455
I've been living here for 5 years and I can confirm the memes aren't satire; they're real.

>>18212496
Yeah, so full that there's only terraced mold boxes for houses here. Dirty brit shit. I hope you niggers choke on your pies and sausage rolls. When I move back, I'm celebrating with a steak.

>>18212490
Actually getting OP to learn how to cook would be useful.
If he was actually moving to the UK, I wouldn't want him to get addicted to takeaway because it is better than the slop he has but it's still not healthy or good for the wallet.

>>18212526
>I've been living here for 5 years
>mold
Yep, this is an unwashed immigrant who refuses to learn the language.

>>18212560
Not him, but I spent the bulk of my childhood thinking "mold" and "mould" were different words. It didn't help that the same word is used for a slime and a template. I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of idiots still think that.

>>18212484
>financial capital of the world has good restaurants
omg

>>18212553
I actually like black pudding despite all the weird opinions

He ate one of those little birds once

>>18212484
Oh gee really you don't say, it's almost like London is a hub full of various international cuisines and restaurants instead of some bumfuck nowhere up north where your only fine dining options are chippy shops.

>>18212773
How can her wife french kiss that gremlin

Also I wish I could eat the forbidden bird, maybe I'll need to learn on my own ...

>>18212455
Learn to cook anyway. Useful life skill, and for most things pretty easy. (The usual hard part is doing many things at once.)
There are lots of good places to eat, and many good foods. There's also lots of rubbish; avoid the bad, go for the good.

>>18212553
No toast sandwich? Fake list.

>>18212553
Liver and onions isn't that bad, though I might be biased as I had to eat it a lot when I was poorer.
Haddock is also the best choice for fish and chips and you're my enemy if you prefer pollock

>>18212484
500 types of kebab stands is not a diverse dining landscape

>>18212455
Heaven is when the French cook, the Germans brew the beer and the English run the government.

Hell is when the English cook, the French brew the beer and the Germans run the government.

So, theoretically speaking, you're just a short way (a chunnel ride) away from some good cuisine.

>>18213899
I wouldn't want any of those running the government.

learning to cook should not be intimidating. here are some steps to get your started on this new and exciting journey:

1. travel to Kataba Knives, a shop in London where you will stock up on some kitchen essentials
2. Purchase a Hitohira Togashi 240mm Gyuto knife (680 gbp), two Morihei Hishiboshi sharpening stones: 1000 grit (80 gbp) and 6000 grit (120 gbp), a leather strop (35 gbp), an Asahi rubber cutting board (165 gbp), and a Japanese copper tamagoyaki pan with wooden lid (195 gbp). You now have all the tools you'll need to make your very first omelette!
3. go to the grocery store and get some eggs. head over to the produce section and grab whichever vegetables you fancy: onions, bell peppers, celery, mushroom, carrots, anything! It's your omelette. Grab some of your favourite cheese, too.
4. Bring all your goodies home. Now open up your phone's internet browser and navigate to www.YouTube.com, then use the search bar to find hundreds of helpful videos that will teach you how to make an omelette

and now you are officially a home cook!

>>18212484

Now spend almost a month in Middlesbrough and report back on the dining scene there.

>>18212455
I live in london and have never seen any of the meme dishes, its just americans getting baited by whoevers pitting americans and euros against eachother here

>>18214620
>>18212455
also its unhealthy how many options you get, theres some shitty small grocery store near me and even thats excellent, great choice of spices, fresh/frozen meat, even has olives with ladles n shit, baklava, great choice of snacks and cheese, etc
note i am not a bong i am a germoid so i am i am immune to any bong tastebud accusations

>>18214620
>meme dishes
What even qualifies as a meme dish here? Yeah, sure, wigan kebabs exist in some northern hellholes. I think there's a few places in the East End that still serve eel for purely historical reasons. Faggots? They're pretty much indistinguishable from any other cheap meatball.
Maybe haggis, but that's not exactly a staple in Scotland. Yeah, every chippy there sells it, but who's ordering it?

Everything else in British cuisine is honestly normal and tends to have analogues around the world.

>>18214648
what

>>18214653
Be a little more specific as to why you're confused, please.

>>18214648
Beef Wellington, im in my late 40s & have never eaten it nor seen it served anywhere.
I have eaten in the shittiest dumps to top class places. Oh and I lived in >>18214605
for 2 years at uni yeah its a tad rough

>>18214648

Anyone who turns their nose up at haggis but happily scarfs down a hotdogs is either a hypocrite or has a literal child's view of food.

>>18214666
>Beef Wellington
Y'know, I've never actually tried this but I swear I've seen it on menus for several hotel restaurants. That and there's Ramsay's Savoy, but that probably qualifies as a meme restaurant.
>>18214667
I've never once heard of a hotdog made with lamb offal and oats, but I get what you're getting at.

is it true anglos dont add cream into their mashed potatoes but cover them with shitty gravy instead?

>>18214666
>>18214673
i am convinced beef wellington got pushed purely by that faggot ramsay

>>18212553
can someone explain to me how brits prefer fish and fucking chips over beef wellington? they are worse than americans for gods sake

I spent a week visiting family (London, Oxford, Bath) and the food was just dire. The oxford folks were like high class so we went to nice places and it was just bad. Fish and chips were good I guess but only at that fried food level. But this was in the early 2000s and watching Rate My Takeaway dude on youtube it seems the UK has had a sloppa renaissance

>>18215272
>But this was in the early 2000s
That was probably the worst time for food since postwar rationing destroyed all local fare.

>>18212654
Where, New York? I hope you didn't mean London.

>>18212455
If you earn enough to eat out then British restaurants are good.
>>18215694
Are you a New Yorker or something because it's extremely strange to say that London certainly isn't the financial capital of the world
>>18215272
I'm from Oxford. Oxford has no good restaurants. It's a well known thing. Such is life when I go back home. It's always a pain when we celebrate birthdays because there really just aren't any good restaurants there.
Everywhere else is great. Sorry you had to experience Oxford's food, anon.

Fish and chips are fucking horrible btw anon, if you think they were good then you'd like actual British cuisine.

My $ .02 as an Italian tourist that went to UK twice: I ate (and drink) best in pubs. Food and drinks were really nice and diversified, really liked that. My dumb GF brought me to an Italian restaurant (with real italian owners) just to overpay some frozen tier tasting pasta.

>>18212771
the only people who have weird opinions are north americans
pretty much all cuisines from lisbon to tokyo use blood

>>18212455

you should learn how to cook anyways you fucking manchild, its a basic life skill.

>>18212553
Black Pudding is fucking nasty

>>18216817
You might have a tongue problem, anon. Being serious.

>>18216822
Morcilla is 100x better than what the British produce, and this is coming from someone living in England. Can't wait to move out again.

>>18216831
I've never had morcilla, but looking at it online (and at the recipe) it looks pretty damn similar to black pudding. If you like one you should by rights like the other. Are you sure you don't have a tongue problem?

those teeth tho

>>18216842
Texture difference and they taste super different. You have to try it to believe me. Black Pudding is dry while morcilla is like a paste and is more flavorful. Unless I'm missing out on some good Black Pudding, I just don't like it.

>>18212455
Do you like curry?

>>18212455
don't believe them

>>18213899
heaven is when the germans cook, the english brew the beer and the government invades france

>>18214759
at home, its milk and butter
in a restaurant, its cream and a shitload of butter
and the gravy isnt shitty.

>>18212569
I still think that mold=fungi and mould=shaping

>>18216888
>Black Pudding is dry
Black pudding should not be dry. It should be pretty moist. I will try morcilla, if I can, because I love blood sausages, but I do doubt it could taste all that different when the ingredients are extremely similar and the method of cooking is extremely similar.

>>18212455
May as well turn gay too their women are just as bad

>>18212455
The food in the UK doesn't suck, the misconception arises due to propensity of the common denizens of that nation to eat and seemingly enjoy to eat horrendous food.

>>18213899
This makes no fucking sense.
It's this;

Good EU,
French cooks
British police
Italian lovers
German accountants
Spanish dancers
Belgian bankers

Bad EU,
British cooks
French police
Italian accountants
German lovers
Spanish bankers
Belgian dancers

>>18217123
Try getting it outside the UK cause it's literally the same there. Spain or Argentina has the best kind.

>>18212553
>crap tier
The only bad thing there is cauli cheese and even then it's only blah, not crap.

>>18212553
Chicken Tikka Masala at crap tier? do the brits make it with goatshit?

>>18217242
Modern British people cannot cook, but that's not actually where the stereotype comes from. The stereotype simply comes from French and Italian food becoming fashionable, and English food becoming unfashionable. The stereotype always mocks the newest and least traditional British food, like fish and chips or full English breakfasts; it never mocks traditional English food like steak or roasts or stews or pies, other than perhaps that one pie nobody in the UK has ever eaten with the fish heads poking out.

>>18217463
Anon do you seriously think there's a yougov poll out there with "crap tier" as a category?

>>18217490
https://yougov.co.uk/topics/consumer/articles-reports/2019/06/12/classic-british-cuisine-ranked-britons
Wish you were right.

>>18217512
Wait fuckin Tikka Masala is mid tier on the site. Bamboozles on top of bamboozles.

>>18217463
>>18217490
It's YouGov; it's pure clickbait.

>>18217512
What in the God damn
Well, strangeness aside, it's extremely important to note that this poll is asking British people their opinion of their own foods.

>>18217523
Yes, the image is famously fucked with constantly on this board, which is why I assumed the "crap tier" thing was fake too.
4chan has an obvious reason to put tikka masala at crap tier. Lol.

>>18217512
The original ordering sucks even worse it seems.

>>18217523
The methodology they used for the ranking was retarded, too. If you look at the raw data, most of the bottom tier foods were just regional or uncommon things nobody had actually had.

>>18217512
>>18217540
...But at least they seem to get the desserts right.

>>18217528
>>18217540
It's weighted heavily to common foods over uncommon foods. It's a bad metric and not really a good representation.

>>18217550
That'd explain why stuff like kippers are shit tier even though they're so delicious. And liver and onion probably just weirds out a lot of idiots. I'll never forget how a couple of English guys at our hostel were surprised that me and my friend were cooking liver and onions. Like that's a fucking English dish, damn. You should be used to it.

>>18215257
This is shared a lot and always catering for people's personal preference. There is no way black pudding would be god tier as most people don't touch it.

Same with masala at the bottom. More people love a masala over black pudding unless you're a northerner who lives off brown oven food.

>>18217546
Most of those are terrible or acquired tastes.
>scones are god tier
I know YouGov only surveys people in the south but I swear those poofs need to touch grass. Scones are graded entirely on their filling, the actual scone is shite and would be improved by being any other kind of baked good. That and it's a red flag that if someone makes these for you, they're a terrible cook who just bungs boiled veg on a plate.

>>18212484
Post arm

>>18217540
>>18217546
>faggots and dicks
Ah, quiessential english cuisines, sucking on brown dicks.

>>18215257
I'm British and I've never actually seen a beef wellington in my life. It looks nice, but, yeah.
>>18217627
Senpai northerners have a lot of tikka masala lmao

>>18214605
My mate has Words to say about how you make a proper parmo
Personally, I think it looks like vomit on a plate
Anyway, spend a month in Calais and tell me about the food there. Everywhere has shit places.

>>18212455
pub grub is good and hearty, but otherwise yeah it's not exactly a land of culinary excellence.