/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>18054836
Reminds me of the colors of century egg

>>18054846
Yeah that's what happens when you don't clean the machine. Clean it up wagie.

>>18054833
This is retarded bait, it's all ice cream/milkshake/chocolate and caramel sauce left overnight by some 18 yo zoomer that works there

>>18055063
>BUT ID LUGZ YUKKKY!!!

>>18054833
i have heard so many stories about fast food places, the big brand ones not random local ones which also have contributed some, i dont even have them in the back of my head as option for eating while out

>>18055063
>McIDF comes in right on time
I'm not gonna eat your burgers Ronald McDonald, stop telling me to eat your damn burgers I've told you I don't want them do not give them to me, I will not eat them I will not

I got a diner shut down when I found the swamp of black mold under the floor boards management told everyone else to shut up about. Even had I been told don't ask don't tell, I'm not paid enough to work in that. Looking back I should have demanded hazard pay to keep quiet.

>>18055222
Nah, you did the right thing.

>>18054833
Nothing to major but when I worked at Applebee's one time a cook's nasty, greasy apron somehow got in one of the tea urns and stayed there for a week.

>>18055189
it depends on the area you're in, if you follow me

>>18054833
I work at walmart. The number of times I've encountered poop on the ground is actually astounding.
>first started
>guy I work with in grocery is a big black dude
>he comes in the backroom once
>hey guys
>there's doo doo on the toilet paper aisle
Literally what he said. I still don't know what the story behind that was.

Once I had to go confront some customers who decided to bring their pet racoons into the store. On leashes. They couldn't understand why I couldn't let them have their pet racoons running around in our produce department even if they were on leashes. I mean they could still grab shit and climb because they're fucking racoons.

Working retail has made me desire more than ever absolute societal collapse.

>>18054833
that must be what caused Nick to look like that

Former McCuck here
That's a drip tray drop the side of the machine, the ice cream does not touch it

>is that... a dirty trip tray? AAAAHHHHHH GROSS I'M GOING INSANE

>>18054833

>have already cleaned the grill
>manager comes in saying a customer wants one medium rare
>say wtf no, that's not safe
>manager decides to make it anyway if i won't
>just let it happen

>>18055693
That's not how it works at all, you retard. The grill itself always gets up to temp.

Didn't see it but I was told about it
>Be McDonald's wagie, 40 minutes before close
>order comes in
>Start to make burger
>Halfway thru a modification comes in
>No sauce
>Grab the nastiest grill cloth near me
>Wipe off sauce
>Continue making burger
>No complaint

>>18055702
You just cancel it halfway thru the cooking dipshit, or if it's a 4:1 patty you cook it on the 10:1 setting

>>18055693
To be fair, I've eaten some of these type of puck patties medium rare. Wouldn't recommend, but I was bored cooking at a weekend special event for a Parade of Homes. Didn't get sick, but it was a bit unpleasant.

>>18055743
if you take a whole piece of beef and put it in a meat grinder yourself you can have burgers as rare as you want
the frozen shit from sysco that gets mixed together, extruded and stamped on an industrial scale? wtf are you doing
i'm seriously the only person in the kitchen who thinks to put salt and pepper on them during cooking, and melting the cheese onto them instead of putting it on cold while assembling

>>18055825
I'm fully aware. I just didn't care.

>>18055835
based no-questions-asked slop provider

>>18055189
I worked in a small brand fast food burger place in Australia.... it was beyond anything I have ever seen.

>refrozen chicken
>moldy buns
>milkshake machine was full gone chunky
>post mix drinks at 30% flavor strength
>12 hour old coffee
>rancid donut mix
>young guys using toxic grill cleaner while cooking on the grill
>deep fry oil so far gone, the smell made you sick - the fries came out brown.

I worked there for 6 months, I found out later that all 4 chain stores were shutdown.

>>18054833
wait till this fucking idiot sees whats in the grease trap

>>18055645
do people really shit in grocery stores? I thought it was just a myth
What drives a human being to do such things?

>>18056531
>What drives a human being to do such things?
Heres a hint, be American and pretend you can do whatever the fuck you want.

>>18055705
Jesus, doesn't a burger only take like 5 seconds to make? You were so upset that you had to take another 5 seconds doing something that you go and do something like that? Are you 18?

>>18057054
anon, he's a mcdonalds wagie

oh wow, a drip tray is dirty, shut everything down

>>18054833
My local fast foods aren't employed by niggers so I'm not worried.

Creampied an absolutely crazy bitch I went to highschool with two days in a row knowing damn well she was lying about being on any form of birth control. She was super cute and very tight. Definitely played Russian roulette with two in the chamber with that one but I don't regret it and I'd probably do it again if some other loser hadn't taken the L by knocking her up a few years later and ruining her body. It was bound to happen though. Glad it wasn't me lol.

Back in the late 90s, when I worked at Subway, I worked with a manager whose first job in the food industry was at the Papa Gino's at Webster Square back in the 80s. He told me his manager used to urinate into the pizza sauce and thought it was hilarious. One time he was hungover and deliberately vomited into it as well. This apparently went on for years.
We all ate there in the 80s.

>>18055645
I work at a casino and the poop thing is common here too. It's always some old fuck who get pissed off that they get kicked out and banned for it.

>>18055652
good to know shill. no sane person is waiting half an hour in a mcdonalds drive-thru to get a fucking ice cream cone

>>18054833
>>18054836
>>18054846
NOOOO!!!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY ICY WICY DOESN'T COME OUT OF A PERFECT POLYMER SLIPPY SLIDE!??!?!?

YOU CANT SERIOUSLY MEAN THAT THERE ARE GROSS THINGS IN FOOD INDUSTRY!?!?

I THOUGHT ALL MY FOOD CAME FROM GERMLESS, BUGLESS FIELDS!!!!

>>18055693
>say wtf no, that's not safe
You're retarded. Medium rare meat gets warm enough in the center to kill any pathogenic bacteria. Medium rare meat has a core temperature of 130-135 F.

>>18055645
Hey, semi-same circumstances here. I work in the auto department working on cars, but even just walking through the store can be an experience.

One time there was this big, ugly fatass walking through the store with the complexion of a moose, and he was decked out in a giant t-shirt and big floppy pair of sweatpants. I happened to catch a glimpse of him as he was just behind me in the other mid-aisle lane, and he had a big rotted-looking hole in the back of his pants with all sorts of nasty fuckin' shit stains circling it and I could swear some of it was fresh. I'm genuinely surprised I didn't smell the fucker.

This other time I'm out working on cars, and I guess our department manager goes chasing some dude down the back alley leading around the store to the dropoff area. He comes back and tells us that some dude was trying to shit out in broad daylight behind the store and he had to call the cops on the dude in the end because he was getting belligerent.

Walmart is a magical place, I tell ya.

>Paramedic who also works in an ER
>We have a room on isolation for c.diff
>Basically deadly diarrhea for those of you not in the medical field. Pure liquid and rotten, your gut biome is fucked so imaginethesmell.jpg
>Pizza guy walking through the department
>We see him walk into that room dispute the signs on the door
>Lady inside is changing her colostomy bag
>She takes out her money with her poopy hands and pays him
>He takes the poo water money and leaves
>She stops mid change and begins eating the pizza with those very same poopy fingers without cleaning
She wasn't even supposed to have food, she ordered because we wouldn't get her any, but none of us could stop her because we were enthralled by watching shit slowly ooze from her stoma while she plowed through that pizza like each slice was a potato chip

Heh. Just go vegan.

>>18055216
>McIDF
Supreme keks

>>18057536
I, for one, am shocked and appalled!

>>18057545
It's not the fact that it's medium rare, it's the fact it's one of those frozen pucks made from over 9000 different cows meat. I wouldn't ever eat one of those below medium well. If you're buying a chuck steak or some other whole cut and grinding it up yourself, that's a different story.

>>18057757
It literally doesn't matter, medium rare gets hot enough to sterilize any contaminants within.

>>18057545
That's not even remotely enough. You need over a 160 F to actually make meat safe.

>>18054833
Story I heard from a guy once that worked at a movie theater. They were having pressure issues with the butter pump for the popcorn. They just kind of dealt with it for weeks and it kept getting worse, so finally they called a tech to come take a look at it. Guy takes it apart and lo and behold inside the hose that pumps the butter from the reservoir to the popcorn there was a dead baby mouse.

>>18057536
meds

>>18055693
You're a good soul but let the customer poison himself. If he sues the restaurant I doubt you'll get hit at all.

>>18057563
I hope you licked her dirty fingers clean

>>18054833

>>18054833
I worked in the kitchen of an upscale "Italian" restaurant (US), cleaning the vents at the end of the week was horrifying, not only because removing all the grease and sludge was a struggle, but because we'd all been breathing that in >100f all week.

Reading this thread, I’m so glad I’m not a wagie.

>>18058549
sauce?

>>18057311
kys sex haver

I worked at Panera for a bit. No horror stories to report. However as you may have guessed the food isn't as fresh as you think. The dough is shipped in from a factory and is made nightly. Soups are also made in a factory and come in frozen. The smoothie mix is also made in a factory.

None of it's terrible for you but only the salads there can be considered healthy.

>>18058549
>garbage bins with Ukraine flags on them
audibly kek'd at this.

>>18057563
Well at least we know how she got it in the first place.

>>18057563

>>18057563
Did somebody say log problem?

>>18056561
>be American
Rent free, meds, etc.
You really must be guzzling the propaganda if you think that's even a mostly American problem.

>>18057768
That's not how sterilization works. Also, food should not have to be fucking sterilized. If you knew what sterilization meant and how it worked, you would understand why that would be ridiculous.

>>18057563
>doing my psych rotation in med school
>have patient named John, 23, had psychotic episode a few days ago
>come in on Monday and read nurses notes for the weekend
>they are referring obliquely to "the incident"
>don't elaborate
>ask one about it
>he took a shit on the floor and tried to shove a hard boiled egg up his ass
>go talk to him for 30 minutes about not doing that shit if he wants to get out of here
>he's lucid, seems to understand
>go back to nurse's station
>John immediately pulls the fire alarm
He was faking it to get out of the Navy and after we gave him electroshock therapy after trying everything else he decided to stop the charade and be normal enough to get out of the hospital

>>18058984
>food should not have to be fucking sterilized
If you don't sterilize animal products they infect you with horrible bacteria and make you sick. That's why we cook meat and pasteurize milk.

>>18058993
Again, learn what sterilization is. You can search the internet for how long specific pathogens have to be exposed to certain temperatures. All this is well documented and readily available.

>>18059004
Also, sterilization does not mean decontamination. Even if you were to sterilize food, toxins may still be present.

>line cook at small mexican restaurant
>one of those downstairs in the restaurant and upstairs in the house deal
>managers little girl is raising hell in kitchen
>cant do shit because padre would skullfuck me
>little kid starts slowing down
>naptime.exe
>stumbles over and pukes in sink
>drain plugged so just puke and grease water now
>go tell other daughter who waits
>manager comes back for kid
>tell jefe we can’t wash like this and need bleach n shit
>mf tells me to keep washing because the soap cleans everything
>wtf
>be a good egg and wash dishes in employee restroom while pinesol bukkake settling in sink
>lose job month later because boss got arrested

>Be wagie in small town nowheresville USA
>Nothing bad, weird, or dirty ever really happens

>>18058682
>ukraine flag

It's yellow for recycling and blue for bottles/cans you retard

>>18059205
I've never seen a trash bin like that before, so that's news to me. We have recycling bins that look exactly the same as the trash ones and you put all types of recycling into it.

>>18057054
It takes 17 seconds just to put a bun through a toaster, the worker that did this was a very shitty human being and I think he was 19 or 20 at the time

>>18059205
>It's yellow for recycling and blue for bottles/cans
looks like ua flag to me

>>18054833
>ewww the drip pan is disgusting! I mean restaurants amirite?

>>18059551
Good old retards have never actually seen the inside of an industrial kitchen and think that drip pans are squeaky clean at all times

>>18059205
well either way it's a jewish conspiracy

>>18054833
when i worked at a movie theater in my teens, (like year 2007), our ice chest was ALWAYS invaded by mold (didnt even know this until after working there for over a year and also getting ice with my drinks, wtf) and everyone seemingly was meant to ignore it. this was from san diego's Regal Theater (ranked one of the last in our county). which rather sucked, cuz other than that blaring issue, our theater was fine enough lol. tho i worked the hardest as the fuckin 17 year old autistic faggot i was. what a fucking dork

>>18061053
actually, now that i think back to it, i remember specifically finding a bunch of mold in the ice chest per accident while filling in for a food dude, telling my managers, and them all acting very weirdly about the whole situation, and then nothing changing. even when the heath inspection guy came in, nothing changed..

>>18054833
My sister came home drunk and passed out. I lifted her skirt, peeled back get panties, shat on her ass and pussy, replaced panties and skirt. Watched Flight out the Conchords and passed out. Good times.

>>18061059
Fuck you guys are so embarrassing sometimes

>>18056531
i apologize anon, but let me tell you a story of what i overheard last night.
pretense; i rent a room from a bald faggot who watches 99% literally nothing but CNN. he has a son, and he makes a habbit of stealing money and booze from his dad. he loves stealing our rent money so often that the only way we can pay rent now is through fucking money orders.

he continues to let this fuckhead into the house, and he continues to steal, steal, steal.

at 6am, someone was in the bathroom taking a shower (in order to go to work) and he was loudly outside my room apparently trying to shit inside a plastic baggie, and had paper towers there to wipe, while his dad and girlfriend (what?) were begging him not to............. shit... in a...... plastic baggie..

It seems like a good idea to be neet

>>18059557
i used to work at a 7/11 and our store was pretty strict about everything like that. food handling was the #1 thing we'd have to get right. the owner was a nice Chinese woman. she'd give out red envelope bonuses all the time, it was nice

but they were a franchise at the time.

funny enough, a big nosed, heavily accented middle eastern man bought the store up once she couldn't afford it due to her mother's health. the whole store changed,
all the rules went out the window. the most annoying part is how he'd fire people and then replace them with barely English speaking people of himself. this practice literally turned me into a racist. i didn't give a fuck before then.

>>18055645
Everyone should be forced to work in retail for two years, like how some countries have mandatory military service. Until you've worked retail on the shop floor, you just don't realise what people are truly like.

>>18057768
It literally does matter, I'm not eating that bullshit. You can go nuts with garbage quality "beef". I'll have medium rare beef that's of good quality.

why not just make your own ice cream if you don't wanna eat big corporation food, there are so many recipes online

>>18056531
america is a strange, fucked up place. That's why I don't go there.

>>18061059
what the fuck did I just read?
You should kill yourself for writing something so fucked up.

>>18055216
McDonald's will make you fat
They serve big macs
They serve quarter pounders
They will put pounds on you

>>18061116
nah. I'm above you.

>>18061083
If you don't burn the whole building down when you move out you are doing a disservice to humanity.

>>18061187
based

>>18061059

>>18055716
then you get a really flat patty

>>18055645
I intentionally make poopies at Walmart. Usually I do it where they keep all those fish tanks cause there's hardly anyone there so it gives me ample time to lay my stool and will be a nice stinky area by the time someone has to clean it up.

>>18062336
Don't they have cameras? Wouldn't they recognize you sooner or later and bar you from the store?

>>18057536
Don't worry, anon. With the destruction of micro-biomes and the mass extinction of insects from pesticides, we're only about 20 years away from bugless food!

>>18062486
Bros, I'm legit worried about the bacteria and bugs. Are they doing to be okay? I fear science will sterilize them all away and doom humanity for good.

>>18054833
>Dirtiest story you have
in high school me my gf and 2 other people went and stayed at this guys parents house when they were out of town and got super fucking drunk (we were like 17) and me and my gf were fucking in the bath tub and we got out and she was on her knees sucking my dick and she puked up an entire can of spaghettios on my dick
shit was gross man

>>18055216
take ur meds u paranoid weirdo. no one is doing PR damage contol itt for mcdonalds u literal retard

>>18062624
>t. PR damage control agent for McDonald's

>>18062596
kys sex haver

>>18055216
>McIDF

>>18055624
Yes we get it, you're racist. So is everyone. Not that sneaky anymore.

>>18057899
>You need over a 160 F to actually make meat safe.
lol @ ur loife

>>18062590
They are not. Pollinators are dying and bacteria are becoming more resistant to our chemicals.

To make a simple metaphor: The bathtub is overflowing. We can turn down the tap so less flows, but it's still overflowing. We can turn the tap off, but it's still overflowing. We need to simultaneously turn the tap off and start draining the tub.

>>18057082
Lmao retard

>>18063474
sorry for offending you fellow negro, but when you call someone a retard you back it up with an argument

>>18054833
dongals ice cream sucks anyway. unironically in my boots, checkers/rallys has the best soft serve ong

>>18057768
Laughs in prion

>>18063613
But we're not talking about eating brains.

>>18059029
this post is triggering my schizobrain fuck you

>>18054833
Boycotting Mcdonalds. Big mac has experienced massive shrinkflation over the years. Not to mention the patties are all completely overcooked. The size of burgers at Based King have remained the same size for years, and at least the patties are actually good. Only thing McDicks has going for it is the Strawberry Milkshake and long hours

>>18057320
LMAO

>A family walks into a talent agency. It’s a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, “We have a really amazing act. You should represent us.”
>The agent says, “Sorry, I don’t represent family acts. They’re a little too cute.”
>The mother says, “Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us.”
>The agent says, “OK. OK. I’ll take a look.”

>>18054833
>>18054836
>>18054846
That's a drip catcher

>>18061104
When you get right down to it, this is the answer every single time.

The show starts with my son and daughter playing with our dog. The dog is old and he`s missing all of his teeth, so the way we feed him is that he sucks off my son so long till my son cums and ejects his sperm into the dog`s mouth. The daughter is there to suck my son`s balls and his anus so that my son gets a little extra out of this feeding ritual as well. After the dog is fed, my daughter gets down on all fours and licks off the dog`s saliva as the dog fucks her asshole. My wife comes up, singing the collected hits of duo Platin. The second she sees the dynamic trio, she gets down on her knees and starts rubbing her old, wrinkled pussy. My daughter stops sucking his brother and moves over to her mom. She stands in front of her, pissing all over her mother`s face and naked breasts as my son fucks her in the ass. The dog is running around, licking the urine that drips all around and as my son`s cums in his sister`s ass, he crawls underneath them and licks the dripping anus. My wife is now standing up and is dildo fucking her daughter from behind, as my son is fucking my wife in the ass. The dog is humping my son and they all move by the tune of “Mary had a little lamb“. Suddenly my son stops and grabs my mother by the throat, starting to choke her. She turns purple, then blue as her veins burst and her eyes pop out of their sockets. The daughter shrieks and runs away, only to be caught by me. I recently had a tetanus shot and something went wrong since my dick is bloated like a balloon. I grab her, throw her in the air and virtually run her through with my cock. At the end of it, there`s her uterus with a little fetus as she was two months pregnant. I walk over to my wife, still with my bleeding daughter hanging on my cock and she takes her off, eating the fetus. My son licks the blood off and my dog finishes what is left of the uterus.

>>18064361
We are all very tired and the last thing I manage to say is “So, I see you all got your lunch. I think I`ll have a burger!” I walk over to the fridge, grab a burger, while my son is feeding off her sister`s carcass and my wife is finishing the uterus, pop a beer on my way and sit down to watch a football game. After the game is over and my daughter finally dies with her stomach penetrated and blood gushing all over the stage, the rest of the family gets up, takes a bow, kicks the dog in the ass, making it topple off the stage and into the band pit, takes another bow and gets off the stage, dragging the body of my daughter behind them, leaving a bloody trail. We all come back one last time to take our last bow.
>For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, “That’s a hell of an act. What do you call it?”
>And the father says, “The Aristocrats!”

>>18061187
rock and roll McDonald's

>>18058909
it is
even Indians have the decency to take it outside

>all the McGoys ITT doing damage control FOR FREE
based! I'll give you a coupon for a corn syrup beverage and extruded meat product with McSauce. Just tag us on twitter with the hashtag #ImLovin'It.

>>18064355
underrated

>>18054833
Unfortunately I can't find any pictures online (KFC corporate went full damage control) but there was a KFC in my city (Rutland) up until 2020 until someone who worked there posted photos on Facebook of rats and other shit in the kitchen.

The owners ended up tearing the entire place down after pictures made it to the news station. Now we are KFC-less... I couldn't care less. I've never been

>>18055216
>McIDF
lmao

>>18058985
what's the sentence for doing shit like this?

>>18061187
ROCK OVER LONDON ROCK ON CHICAGO

>>18064905

>Now we are KFC-less

I feel like this only impacts the whopping three people in your town that went to KFC. I'm fully convinced that the KFC in my city is a front for money laundering

>>18059029
this post is triggering my schizobrain fuck you

>>18055667
hahahaha what a faggot lololo

>>18064973
STOP SHOWING ME THIS THUMBNAIL

>>18064973
Nothing. If he has another psychotic episode he'll get a medical discharge but there's nothing criminal about being crazy in a psych ward

>>18058682
you're the dumbest gorilla retard i have ever seen

>>18064355
>The Aristocrats!
I know it's an old joke passed down through many comedians, but I miss Gilbert's version the most. Lost a lot of comedians and shit over the past couple years and he's one of the ones it felt like we'd just have forever

>>18065008
My city is fairly unheard of outside of Northern New England and is pretty poor so it actually had a pretty large fan base. A lot of people were disappointed when it was torn down