/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>17761855
tried to dance with some pretty girl but the girl took me by the shoulders and turned me around 180 degrees away from her and moved away and kept dancing

>>17761855
inattentive bartenders or just plain slow service

>>17761855
Been kicked out a handful of times for swearing at the bartender when they're too slow to serve me

>>17761855
cleaning the women's bathrooms at the end of the night, they're disgusting creatures
it was always nice doing a 1000 yard stare past some pretty girl in your face who tries to jump ahead of three to four other people on a busy night

>>17761855
Haven't had any really, I've run the gambit of dives, sports bars/normie and high end and have always had a decent time. Being charismatic is definitely a plus when bar going. (Keep in mind I am referencing all my experiences from when I was out solo)
But like this anon said, >>17761866
is the worst thing I have experienced, but it is usually only for the first drink. Afterwards everything is all good.

However, there was a time when I went to a bar with a group of friends, three of us. Turned out it was a biker hotspot on weekends and I wasn't aware of this nor was one of my friends. The 3 of us entered the bar, no problems, and myself and one friend went to the patio bar to get drinks, while the other friend went to use the bathroom. Not even 10 minutes into being at that bar, myself and the friend I was with was approached and asked if we came with the friend that went to the bathroom. We said yes, and were asked to leave and were not served. Apparently our friend had caused some ruckus a few weekends prior (he's a big dude, 6'4, 300lbs) and if gets to a certain point of drunk becomes a huge asshole to strangers.

>>17761855
Having a female bartender. Having a female bartender refuse me more drinks when I was "too" drunk.

>>17761894
I know the trick for that. You say "god youre beautiful can I have another shot of whiskey". It works even better if theyre a bit rough looking. You have to make yourself believe it for those few seconds though

>>17761855
>hotel bar on a business trip with my boss
>old lady bartender keeps coughing all over her hands
>keeps promising us "it's just allergies"
>switch from beer to liquor cause it is better at killing the germs

>>17761855
pepe if human

Guy so fucked up he was pissing onto the counter while seated. The bartender was also fucked and didn’t notice until the other one kicked the pisser out. There was also the time a college kid kicked a glass into a baby and got his ass comatosed by bikers

>>17761894
How? I mean if you don't know them and it's your first time at the bar I get it. But I have had some pretty chill female bartenders, and I actually am still friends with one.

>>17761894
Some of the best bartenders I had were females. To the point where I didn't even get charged for drinks, just chatted them up every weekend and left them a $10 tip at the end of the night. Not even trolling, lasted for years pre-Covid.

>>17761868
didn't happen lol

>>17761855
waved frantically at the bartender to get her attention. She came by and asked me what I wanted. I asked her what they had and she laughed and walked away

>>17762223
Yes it did lol. I don't pay to get slow service

I waited like 20 minutes for a drink and very politely tried to get the bartenders attention (it wasn't busy and I went there all the time), he shouted at me

>>17761855
Got stabbed.

>>17761918
if anything female bartenders are nicer to me on average and I'm not even a great looking guy

>>17761856
I think I’d have burned the place down so I knew all witnesses to that were dead, because Christ

>>17762229
Fucking look at the bar cunt, you can see the fucking drinks in the fridges, cunt

>>17761856
Welcome to your experiences with women for the rest of your life. Its a numbers game pal. I also had a similar experience at a bar that had a disco, where this one dude was dancing with two chicks and I kind of danced my way towards them and said "Hey sharing is caring" hoping to start dancing and grinding with one of the chicks, but they all looked at me like my face was full of bear shit, so I just danced away to my next victim.

Alcohol makes you do strange things...

Showed up to a dive bar stone sober on my birthday, opened a tab and had two beers while waiting for friends to show up. First to show up was my friend's dad, and he offered to buy me a beer.
Bartender told him I was cut off for being drunk, and handed him my card. Me and friend's dad were like lolwut? I asked the bartender, and he just kept shouting "SIR YOU ARE TOO DRUNK YOU NEED TO LEAVE."

I will forever wonder what that was about. I was a regular there, and had gotten whitegirl wasted before and after that night with the other bartenders that seemed to love me. I wrote "Faggot" in the tip box and paid for the two beers before texting my friends I had relocated, and the next time I was in that bar, I overheard the guy loudly telling some other customers he was going to fight me "some day" for calling him a faggot. Shit was weird as fuck, and I specifically tip well and only talk to people I know when at bars, so no clue what got into his ass on my birthday. Faggot could have made upwards of $100 in my tip alone if he didn't pull his faggot shit.

>>17762356
I feel you anon, faggot bartenders fucking suck that can't handle simple banter, fucking fags

>>17761855
I remembered one that still makes me salty. There’s this shitty gothy bar in tucson. One Saturday night I showed up at the door, there’s no doorman, but there’s a crowd of retards on the sidewalk all gabbing with each other. I wait a bit, no one cards me, so I walk in. When I’m already well in the bar some faggoty scrawny hipster beard dude with hipster glasses leaves the crowd in the sidewalk and runs after me in a panic like I’m trying to rob the place because I walked in without being carded. I show him my ID, but point out to him he wasn’t at the door and that’s why I walked in, so he makes this scrunchy angry faggot face, acts indignant like it’s fighting words and immediately calls the bouncer to come over and throw me out and of course the giant fat fuck doesn’t wanna hear me out either and acts threatening. I’ve never been back to that piss tank, and I hope the worthless doorman’s mom died of ass cancer.

>>17761856
>>17762309
One time I was at a bar with a couple bros, all the bros were hitting on the same chick--basic ass hoe covered in some thick ass pancake makeup to cover whatever bullshit she was trying to hide. Told all the bros she was ugly and just playing them for attention and free drinks.
None of them believed me, and said I was just jelly I was married and couldn't hit on her. Told them hold my beer, walked over to her table to hit on her. 3 chick's sitting there, with 1 fairly jacked dude.
I grabbed some expendable nerd, told him I was going to teach him how to hit on girls because I saw him eying that table hard. He starts chatting up one of the girls, I go main show with the tramp that was seducing the bros. Let nerd make his introductions, and start warming up, then tell main chick "yeah, I'm trying to teach my bro how to flirt, y'all are helping him out great."
She's excited and in to it, so I say "so you looking to go home with anyone tonight?"
She says she's there with her fiancé, puts her hand on jacked guy's thigh, and without eleven looking in her direction, he starts holding her hand.
I test it all and say "Yeah, I got a math test I didn't study for, maybe we should do the same thing?"
She says "what?" I say "cheat."
She flips out, nerd flips out, her "fiancé" gets in my face, her friends are all squealing. I walk back to the bros laughing my ass off while that whole table melts down.

Moral of the story, my bros were thirsty for a taken chick, and because they wouldn't shut up about her pancake makeup assed face and how she was so hot, I set a fire and they all had to bodyguard my fat balding ass from getting beat up by a guy who likely was only there so she could claim to be in a relationship. At best, I save some bros from a waste of time, at worst I ruined everyone's night to prove a point.
Went back home, told my wife, and we laughed our asses off.

>>17762426
What boomer facebook group did you copypaste this from?

>>17761855
I got a really shitty old fashioned

>>17761855
The time I ran into one.

>>17762423
Don't worry about it. It's one of those moments where your angry you didn't do anything but doing something would've made it worst.

went drinking with a girl i'd been seeing for a while and the bartender was giving us a bunch of free drinks and it slowly became apparent that it was because he had fucked her and he kept smiling at me

>>17762461
His way of not feeling bitter you were now smashing her instead

>>17762450
True story, but it was absolute boomer tier. Fuck it, I was sick of the bros telling me some Joker faced bitch was hot when she clearly had like a good millimeter of foundation adhered to her face. Surprised it wasn't cracking it was so thick, and I was just supposed to sit there and pretend they weren't just beer goggles'ing some trash? Nah, I'd rather get my ass beat--which is why I pointed out I'm a balding overweight loser possibly ruining *everyone's* night.
If I were trying to brag and claim I'm some weird hero that gives hope to lesser men, I'd post a picture of my wife and leave it at that or poke the bear and gloat about how she's not just looks, but a perfect partner. I'm just some dumb fat and balding guy that landed a winner, and has the freedom to act like a raging fucking dickbag at bars.
>and then everyone started clapping

>>17761855
they wouldn't let me in because they couldn't verify my vaccination status with expired ID.

>>17761855
Most of the times, people puking or smelling like they shat themselves. There's also that time some drunks were playing darts and ended up darting another guy and it turned into a massive brawl. Oh and I remember like 10 years ago there were some neo nazis with bombers and spider web tattoos and shit at a pub and a scrawny ass guy said "fuck nazis". They took him outside and beat the shit out of him

>>17761855
got stabbed once and when I tried to get the bouncer to get the guy he threw me out instead

I went to a bar for the first time since corona last month. I was so overwhelmed with the number of choices that I was like uhhh uhhhh and finally ordered a $30 glass of whisky. I think the bartender thought I didn't know anything about booze because what she poured me tasted like some generic dewars crap. I probably won't be going to bars much anymore, they can try to scrape by with the antimaskers I guess, I won't be crying when they all go bankrupt.

Some fat fuck trying to lure me into a fight. Didn’t want to at the time mainly because I didn’t want to get banned from the bar. Also, I’m more of a pussy now that I’m older and don’t want to get arrested over dumb shit like fighting. I realized he just hated me because I’m attractive and I’m not a fat slob like himself so I actually pity him.

I’m really surprised I never got robbed or jumped when I would go to clubs in a very ghetto city. I never liked going out anyway. One time I got extremely drunk and slept outside of the club until my friends wanted to leave. I was too drunk to find them and slept in the ground in almost 0 degree weather for a few hours.

>Be me when I was 17
>Neighbour's brother in law comes over from Australia
>Randomly pop over for whatever reason and end up getting on the chop
>Next night get on the chop again
>Go to the pub
>Have some Jager bombs and some handles
>Go to fart
>It's a fart with a hefty general service tax
>Go in the shitter to clean up
>No bin and there's a bunch of people right outside the stall
>Use some damp TP and dry TP to try clean up the shitty situation I'm in
>Leave the bathroom and meet up with the party and they've decided to go into town
>We walk across the road to the gas station to catch a cab
>Go into the shitter there and finish emptying the tank and dump my boxers in the bin
>Party left without me
>Walk home comando
Sharting in public is the worst.

>>17762356
He thought you were some sort of boytoy meeting up with your sugar daddy.

>>17762309
>>17762426
Re-examine your degenerate life

>>17761909
Why was an infant at a biker bar praytell?

>>17762426
Why would you care so much anyway?

>>17761892
He doesn't sound like a very good friend

I took a faggot friend of mine to a gay bar for moral support after he came out. I got yelled at by a surprisingly hot fag hag for being in a gay bar but not being a faggot. The bitch literally said to me:
>I just wanted to go out and have a good time and dance without having rape culture shoved in my face all night but cis-het assholes like you had to ruin this for me, too
True story.
White women were a mistake.

>>17763600
Oh, and best night I had also involved a gay bar. Went to a dyke bar some years ago that had a $10 cover which gets you 5 drinks and included a decent buffet spread. Drank, did karaoke with some dykes, wingmanned my bulldyke roommate and got her some pussy and at the end of the night, I left all the toilet seats up just before closing. Good times.

I was at a bar in New Orleans with Nicholas Cage. It was literally just like four white guys around a wood fire in the low season on a wood/stone bar. He comes in and floods the place with blacks and tattooed gang bangers. Everyone coughing reaching over me at the bar doing shots, some really tall drink in a plastic decorative cup smashing into each other. Literal black music comes on then briefly metal. Music slowly gets louder. Nick starts pacing around and walking outside every few minutes while downing drinks. He eventually leaves and people stay. We ask bartender if this was normal and he says it happens a few times a year. I eventually leave without a buzz and hit up another place.

I shit you not... I walk in only two people sitting and less than ten minutes later a whole parade of child fuckers (aka homosexuals) dressed in the most brightest iridescent plastic clothing acting like the biggest queers in the state overtake the bar and blasting gay music from those wall mount jukeboxes.

I never knew if it was an event going on later or what but that fucking town is terrible and smells like piss.

>>17761855
I wanted a Mojito but they didn't have the ingredients

It was only nigger bartenders and it took like 10 minutes to get a drink order in so I took a shit on the floor of the bathroom and left.

This was in february in Minnesota

>>17763693
...Weirdly enough I was about to post this. At this point I take "sorry we don't have mint" as code for "if you want anything more complicated than a jack & coke, leave"

>>17762298
Seethe harder roastie

>>17763045
>scrawny ass guy said "fuck nazis". They took him outside and beat the shit out of him
Don’t fuck with the brotherhood

>>17763693
>>17765623
It's code.

If you order a mojito then somebody else at your table will too because its an eye catching and delicious drink. When we deliver the drinks to you, other tables will see the mojitos and one drink order turns into 10+. Each one requires muddling which is a time consuming and tricky process as compared to other cocktails. That's how one mojito order on a busy night can back up the bar until close making everyone, customers and staff alike, unhappy. Everyone (except you) is much happier if we simply say, "we ran out of ingredients."

This goes for all drinks that require lengthy preparation. A Ramos Gin Fizz creates probably the worst fallout of all cocktails on a busy night.

Order when it's slow and you won't have any issues.

I went out on Halloween and the bartenders dressed as Goose and Maverick cut me off. First time I've ever been cut off at the bar.

>>17765766
>requires muddling which is a time consuming and tricky process as compared to other cocktails
If you’re a retard who can’t make anything more complicated than a jack and coke I could see why you would think this, otherwise you’re just a garbage bartender

>>17762426
And then everyone clapped

There’s a bar I go to out of town for a yearly reunion and every year black out and don’t remember leaving. Every year I come back they ask me if I was the guy that threw up in the bar last year and I say no and they let me in.

>>17765799
A swamped bar is going to get behind, no matter what is being ordered. You add mojitos to the mix and you back up even further. This isn't that complicated which is why I'll have to cut you off now. Stop complaining about your fat wife and call her to pick you up because nobody else will. See you next wednesday.

>>17765871
>power fantasizing about his wagie drink serving job on an anonymous anime board
Boy am I laffin

>>17765871
Get a bigger bar? Get more staff? Do your fucking job? You can't withhold drinks from people based on your own arbitrary assumptions.

It would be like a doctor telling a patient he doesn't have cancer when does because well, the patient will go and tell his wife and his wife will neglect her child, and the child will eventually kill themselves. Everyone involved (except the patient) is happier this way.

And you act so smug about it too, that's the worst part. As if you have any power over this room of 100+ people. You have none, but you have to try and get it where you can so you deny them drinks and then complain they're stupid for asking for the drinks in the first place.

Take off your dumbass bowtie, fuck your stupid haircut, and pour liquids into a glass like you're paid to do. You dribbling fucking idiot

My best bar experience was a wonderful night called Shizuoka Omachi Baru.
You get 5 tickets for a drink and a bite to eat at the participating establishments for like $40. I had three ochawari and two cups of coffee, a mini pizza, some kushiage, sausages, and two different tiramisu.
It was a fucking blast.
This was a picture from that night. What a pleasant mood it had.

>>17765909
True, but I feel like the theme of the bar has a lot to do with it, like if I'm at some dive I would never ask for a mojito, but at a singles bar or fancier place, bitches better be able to make the craziest drinks from memory if I'm paying 15-20 burgerbux for a cocktail.

>after work on a Tuesday
>go to Blind Pig Pub in Austin solo
>have a few drinks
>stay and have some more drinks
>eventually get black out drunk
>come to my senses while urinating
>im back outside of my office
>no idea what time it is
>walk back to my car
>car is gone
>somebody stole it
>don’t have my phone to call police
>don’t have keys or work badge
>only have wallet
>blood stains on my pants
>walk a mile to iHop
>4AM
>order food
>call 311 on waitresses phone
>3 hour wait time
>hang up
>walk back to work before open
>see a lady I don’t know well
>approach and tell her I lost my badge
>looks scared and doesn’t let me in
>reports incident to security
>thought I was a homeless person
>security guy let’s me in
>im still drunk
>tell him someone stole my car
>he watches security tapes
>tells me I drove off in my car
>find car parked a street over
>find my keys in bushes 30ft away
>decides not to escalate the incident
>coworkers say I look horrible
>tell me I should go home
>stay at work anyway
>call center receives call from my mom
>says she got called by Austin police
>they have my cell phone
>go to station after work
>severely hung over
>cop says he found it on a sidewalk
>asks me how I lost it
>said idk
>parents probably ashamed
>don’t ask much about it
>go back to Blind Pig 3 days later
>with some friends this time
>everyone recognizes me
>everyone looks tense
>bar tenders pretend not to hear me
>unable to order a drink
>no clue what all happened

>>17765917
Sorry don't eat gook food, can't sustain a man of my stature

>>17765909
>You can't withhold drinks from people based on your own arbitrary assumptions.
Yes I can.

>>17765947
Well you'll get fired sooner or later, and if you don't I will personally come and glass you

>>17765936
This was what we had just at one stop! I think you would have been fine.

>>17761855
I ordered a whisky at a rural bar, took one sip and realized there were dozens of dead gnats floating in it

>>17761855
>me my bud
>@ art walk friday
>we drink in bar n smoke
>people on date next to me
>older guy n young brown hair grl
>watch guy pour powder in girl drink
>grl drink drink n get drunk fast
>she stumble she drunk so fass
>I offer smoke she to drunk so fass
>he man but can not carry drunk grl
>he drag her feet to car we follow offer help
>pick leg up her skin feel sweaty she fat
>my fren go behind man
>clunk nemasu clunk nemasu
>he knock tf out making weird snor noise baka
>fren spray paint man face and hans
>an clothes and shoe an hair an penis
>me paint body outline with words tell his story
>fren take his pants off paint feet silver
>take drunk grl emergency hospital
>leave drunk grl on chair
>tell amberlamp mans to call helps
>he nice say ok n smile
>drive home w mans pant n wallet moneys
>spend he moneys on "stuff"
>use man plastic for fantastic "stuff"
>many day l8r fren get arrest
>he stil hav man card n id n "stuff"
>was in 2020
>stil dont herd from him..
>my boy he a real 1

>>17765935
>>everyone recognizes me
>>everyone looks tense
>>bar tenders pretend not to hear me
You were radiating sigma energy

>>17763526
that's what bikers are into

>>17766287
kys faggot you probably had a good story and ruined it with that retardation

>>17761894
This anon can't hold his alcohol

>>17765766
What do you do if the person brought their own mint, though?

>>17766600
I tell them to get the fuck out of my bar for being a weirdo

>>17762426
gayest post i've seen on /ck/

>>17765766
why do you faggots insist on typing like this with the dramatic sentence stubs and reddit spacing? can't you just write like a normal fucking person?

>>17765909
I'm a mechanic. I tell people to fuck off all the time if I'm not in the mood for a certain job or make/model. Eat shit & die.

>>17765967
lol

>>17761855
>Take a girl to a bar
>Giant Samoan ignores me, starts chatting her up
>They both ignore me for ten minutes while I drink alone
>They start making out right as I leave
Completely, utterly mogged, not even an hour into a date.

>>17766902
that sounds awful
Was this a tinder date?

>>17763693
Moscow mules are better

>>17762426
literal "and then just walk away"

When i was 25 my favorite spot was the Zodiac in downtown Colorado Springs. I went in one night and this 40 something tweaker lady was marching around in her ill fitting jeans, celebrating her release from jail. She was annoying, but not harmful, so when she asked me for a cigarette a gave her one and promptly turned around to ignore her. She started grabbing at me, and she went wandered off after I removed her. About 25 minutes later, im sitting at the bar and she starts wasted white lady seaweed dancing up to me, turns around, mounts my knee with her nasty tweaker ass, and grinds. It was disgusting and her moist busted cooter seeped through her pants and left a wet spot on my jeans. I kid you not, that spot showed up under a blacklight. It was so fucking gross and Dave, the bartender, kicked her out at that point.

I've also been in a fist fight with a lumberjack, he beat the shit out of me over a 2 mile walk back home. I ended up with a fractured elbow and multiple concussions. I quit drinking after I broke a bottle of rum over a mans head, slashed at his throat with the broken bottle, and threatened to gut the host with a kukri i had on me when she grabbed me by the hair and started punching me in the nose.

Fuck alcoholics and "partying." I'll have a fancy scotch with a mentor I see once a month, but thats it.

>>17767119
you are why we can't have bail reform

>>17766833
I prefer FAGMAN as the acronym

>>17767166
F is M now and one of the As is below the threshold and N is nearly below the threshold now so it's really just MAGA

>>17767124
I've never been arrested and I'm a model citizen these days.
I don't want bail reform. I want violent offendera sent to penal colonies for life and prisons converted to reentry and rehab facilities. Bail reform is a terrible idea, we need harsher penalties for harsh crimes and lesser penalties for lesser one. There should be no bail, at all, because the people we ought to arrest are the ones who are going to be down for a few years minimum. I worked in a prison, its the only way.

I’m a bored hacker. If you want the password to someone’s Snapchat account, like you think your partner is cheating on you, or curious about something else, I don’t mind trying it out

Ask me on Snapchat at CDigby2

>>17767176
bail reform to me means that nobody gets bail, if you fucked up you fucked up. but that only works if "speedy trial" as described in the constitution is upheld. a year in some shithole local prison because you accidentally spit next to some rich nigger is not speedy.

>>17767180
I trust you are legit because you have a colorful computer

>>17766954
I enjoy moscow mules too but I can make those at home cause it's simpler to make

Bartenders who act like they are fucking rocket scientists or brain surgeons, or they just work so goddamn hard. Then they bitch when you order something more complicated than a beer. Then they ignore you all night and they wonder why you didn't tip them. Fuck bartenders, they can be replaced by vending machines.

>18 years old
>blind drunk
>some slut is dancing with her friends
>she keeps moving her ass up near me
>I put my hand on her hip
>she fucking screams so loud the people across the room all look up
>i laugh it off and slowly walk out of the establishment.
>if a bridge was nearby I would have jumped off it

>>17765766
It's ok, I told that slut bartender to make me a Pina colada instead and it was delicious

>>17767312
Honestly the hardest part about the job is dealing with drunk assholes, not making drinks.

t. worked at a bar with good clientele and it was easy despite the asshole owner

>Then they bitch when you order something more complicated than a beer.
Looks like you should go to a better bar.

>>17765909
Just order a beer and a shot of whiskey like a normal person you socially retarded fruity faggot

>>17765917

>>17761855
I'm 43 and never been to a bar. They alwaulys seemed loud and pointless.

I got puked on at a bar once. Was leaving the bathroom and as I opened the door, dude was standing there and just threw up all over me. Had to walk home smelling like puke while trying trying not to throw up myself.

>>17761855
Some asshole shot me just to watch me die but got distracted by the sports updates on the television.

>>17765973
It's just general fried shit you insufferable chinkloving faggot

>attractive girl from friends group dancing with me
>for some reason decide to try and scoop her up and carry her
>fall over and drop her
>get kicked out by a bouncer

>>17765766
If you don't want to make it, don't put it on your menu.
t. bartender

>>17765981
did gnat happen

>>17765935
lmao

>>17767420
>dancing with girl
>leave bar with group of people
>next bar along has a disco ball hanging from the sign
>shewantstotouchit
>try to pick her up on my shoulders
>fall over
>she breaks her wrist
>its at a 90 degree angle
>have to call ambulance

>>17761855
Bar could only do cash, no payment by card. The bill was some badly hand written note, god knows what it all said. This was 2 years ago or so.

>>17766287
I could really do without the pigeon english anon

>>17765973
Thanks for the pic anon, sorry for that

>Got really drunk at a club with my gf
>go to coat check to leave and show the guy a picture of my coatcheck ticket on my phone (take a pic of it early in the night in case I lost it which is standard practice)
> Coat check guy gives me attitude with effeminate voice because he wants to see the real copy
> Start arguing with him until he finally gives us our coats.
>Grab coats and call him a faggot to his face
>He tries to punch me from over the counter
>Ends up grabbing my shirt and ripping it
>Gf drags me out before a fight starts
>go home and have sex

Stupid fucking faggot just give me my coat next time

>>17767473
Christ

>>17767614
You showed him your alpha male dominance and as a result were rewarded with sex afterwards. Based.

>>17762426
you're a giant faggot lol

I have never been to a bar.

>>17766840
Cry about it

>>17767915
Why not?

>>17767192
Thats interesting. I've only seen it defined in the we wuz kangz lexicon. I agree with your definition.

>>17761855
I asked for a corpse reviver #2 at a fancy bar and the bartender couldn't hear me so i had to repeat it with other people listening and then he had never heard of it so he made a big deal about me telling him what's in it and then I pretended to like what he ended up giving me

>>17767410
Johnny Cash strikes again!

>>17765778
Were you dressed as Ice Man? If so it was just banter.

>>17761855
None, I've never had one

>>17761855
I want to order a gin fizz but I've heard no bar tender actually shakes it long enough, so every experience sucks because Im always disappointed

>>17761856
>>17762285
>>17762309
>>17762426
ffs you guys are giving me second hand embarrassment. major incel vibes

>>17769623
sorry big stud

>>17767387
>only order things that are easy for me to make reeeeeee
Wagies are all the same, you're no different than all those gig economy delivery drivers bitching about actually doing their job.

>>17766287
>didn't rape the girl
fake story

>>17761855
Waited a month to hit the new local bar (some Irish pub chain, but they had Murphy's and O'Hara's). Seat yourself... alright... nobody comes to see me, no worries. Friends make it, 15 mins late. No service for the next 5 mins. I walk up to the bar, nobody at the helm. Catch a server's eye, and she immediately goes back to her phone.
So I walk back to the table, sit down, and say "It helps if you make a loud noise." I shriek as loud as I can and slowly walk out of the bar. My friends quickly follow. We go down the street and catch some jazz. The end.

I'm 28 and never sat down at a bar. Never had alcohol.

>>17769736
Are you frogposting because you are sad about it or because you are a stupid frogposter generally?

Personally, my eyes aren't what they used to be. Easier to read with reddit spacing. I know, CTRL + mouse wheel. Don't like the look of the big text.

>>17761855
RIP alladin and aflac man

>>17769755
I think that frog reflects my outlook on the situation. I am not religious and really don't have many moral convictions. Just always did my own thing and it's momentum from there. I have no doubt missed out on countless social opportunities. This frog here reflects my outlook on my isolated life. But everyone I know who goes to the bar is becoming fat so it's maybe a silver lining.

>>17769755
>NOOOOOO YOU CANT POST FROGS IN MY HECKIN SAFE SPACE!!!!!!

>>17761855
Not necessarily the fault of the bar, but still an unpleasant experience. Went out to a bar with people from my major in a very touristy area of the city center, must have been at least 10 years ago. Bar suddenly got crowded like a van of sardines with a group of bar hoppers from not around, who stayed for one drink. 5 minutes after they left, me and another guy realize our jackets which where at the back of our chairs were stolen during the barhopper invasion. Nice leather jacket, my favourite buttoned shirt and mp3-player gone.
No camera's, bar said too bad, should've used the cloakroom, which we were not told about, and which was hidden on an upper floor.
Had to travel back with only a t-shirt at temperature just above freezing, including a 30min bike ride.
Still miss that shirt and jacket. Vowed to never go to a bar in that area again.

>>17769755

>>17761855
One time i went to a bar and the bouncer took my id and wouldnt give it back. I told him i was gonna call the police on him and he said
>do it you little bitch.

So i called the cops and they asked me if wanted to press charges and i said nah i wanted my id back and apology. Not only did he give my id back and say sorry. The cops told this faggot he would be arrestted for robbery if he ever took someones id like that again and that same night when he got back from the police station the bar fired him LMFAO

>>17761855
>>17770290
Oh it said worst bar experiences. Whatever i am leaving this story.

>>17761855
getting high on coke which some friend of a friend brought and hitting on every lady at the place and as soon as one would show me some interest I just moved right on to the next one.
Been to a party at a small bar/club once where people were throwing around with gold glitter like crazy and I'd have golden boogers the next day, also saw a guy accidentally get hit in the eye there with a fistful of that glitter and he screamed and howled like a wounded wolf.
Friends of friends who turn out to become real cunts when they're drunk, either starting bullshit fights, or crying and whining in self-pity, or even both in rapid succession.
Distant "acquaintances" who leave without paying.
going home with girls I don't find attractive, not even in the moment.
Can't stand snooty or resentful bar staff.
But bars are fun, always will be. I have never experienced real humiliation or assault on a night out.

>>17763929
sorry to hear that this seems a triumph to you

>>17765799
>>17765909
have you guys actually ever been to a bar in your lives? you can see this shit happen with your own eyes all the fucking time when you're on a night out. If it's busy, cocktails will slow down everything
>Get a bigger bar? Get more staff?
telling that to a bartender lol. and shitty analogy with the doctor, too. boy, you suck

>>17766853
based
have one on the house

>>17761894
There was one me and my friends frequented in college and I had gotten waaaay drunker on previous visits, and a female bartender cut me off when I was completely fine

i do not go out to public drinking establishments because i am a patrician. i didnt know this before so i used to go and i have plenty of shameful tales but that person is dead and gone. the patrician i am doesnt associate with niggercattle.

Haven't had anything that bad, but once I went to a bar and ordered back to back to back to back LI ice teas and loaded up the jukebox with every billy joel song ever made. People hated me

>>17761855
all desu.
its seems to attract a staff that thinks working at a bar is rocket science and all patrons are lesser beings for even having the audacity to visit their establishment

>>17761855
>be me
>used to go to this dive bar every day since my life sucked at the time
>the goal was basically always to get drunk
>would usually even drink before I even got there
>knew everyone at the bar on a first name basis, bartenders and the owner included
>always tipped well and never had a single issue
>new bartender gets hired
>think nothing of it
>order a few beers / shots in a row as usual
>when I'm only starting to get halfway drunk the new female bartender says "Sorry, you're cut off for the day"
>I ask why
>she refuses to explain
>I still to this day don't understand why or what happened, as there were many times that I had gotten legitimately drunk there but wasn't even close on that day
>just chalk it up to that bartender not liking me
>I started leaving after one drink when she was the bartender and tipped the other bartenders extra
>I unironically stopped being an alcoholic because she was there almost half the time on the busiest days
>end up moving to a new city so it no longer matters anyway

>people on this site
>going to actual fucking bars

Bars are a social environment and no one here has any real friends or a girl/boyfriend

>>17770739
speak for yourself virgin

>>17770739
Coming to 4chan just means that you have some kind of mental illness, not that you have no friends

>>17770739
i'm more of a club guy.
i like dancing rather than drinking.

>>17770733
Shouldn't that be one of your best bar experiences rather than worst?

>>17770771
PS: i also dance alone, so you're not completly wrong

>>17770769
If you're mentally ill, you likely have no friends

>>17770776
Not really, because I went to the bar expecting to be able to drink alcohol. I guess the one positive outcome is that I became good friends with the other bartenders because I was tipping them more.

>>17763045
>at a pub and a scrawny ass guy said "fuck nazis". They took him outside and beat the shit out of him

Was this Papendrecht? The scrawny ass guy was me lol. If by 'beat the shit out off' You mean 'give a minor concussion while you yourself piss your entire pants' you are correct.

How is Dennis doing anyway? Oh right he tried to kill himself with Citalopram after being busted with child porn and he's now institutionalised.

Nazi stronk lol. Better not fuck with us or the gloves come off rofl. Tell your sister to stop calling me

While working the bar fighting circuit around Edmonton, I came up against this guy. He was a wild swinger, which probably worked for him 99% of the time. I baited him and let him chase me around for a few minutes until he was about to collapse. Then I gave him one of my famous hay makers, which knocked him out cold while he was still standing. I picked him up over my head and body slammed him through a wooden table. Heaviest SOB I've ever choke smashed. I walked out of there with a cool $50 (US).

>>17771102
shut the fuck up you limpdick faggot.

>>17770792
>If you're mentally ill, you likely have no friends

>>17765766
You know what's cute? I know this because I worked back of house for ten years. One night I was on a date and she wanted a mojito. The server gave us the "out of ingredients" excuse, at which I pointed out everything in Garde Manger that had mint and limes. If they weren't a two bit joint, I told this stupid bitch, they would have an infusion ready and a house 'mojito' on the menu like any real upscale place. I told her to get my fucking mojito or I wouldn't tip her, then winked at my date. After the whole place stopped clapping I got the best blowie of my life. True story

I got blackout drunk at a gay bar / possibly roofied and somehow got a job there. I guess I gave the bar manager my # and got a bunch of angry calls asking why i was late. It's been 6 months and I still work there. I'm not gay

>>17771425
as lost as you're not a bottom it's okay

I tried to order a martini at a bar in Washington D.C., and I tried to be really specific and got over halfway through before I brought up jews

>>17767312
Not totally true until you can buy coke off your vending machine

>>17765837
Holy based

>>17771465
well i'm 37 and i still live in the town where they do the reunion. i get blasted because no one talks to me so i just drink.

>>17766953
It was a girl I had been sleeping with for about a month. I didn't like her enough to fight a 6'8" 400 lb beast man, but it still hurt a bit, hurt my pride more than anything. I've been cucked before that but at least I kicked the guys ass, but in that bar situation, I could do nothing but accept it.

>>17770739
Guy who was mogged by a Samoan here, I'm married with a baby on the way. Please, newfriend, I'm begging you, and all the other newfriends for this board: lurk and learn the board culture, before you say silly, wrong things. /ck/ is the most normie board on the whole website, most posters are in their late twenties, to mid thirties, and are married. Please, I'm begging you to stop being a drooling, pants shitting, cum guzzling retarded god damn faggot, just for once in your life.

>>17771523
Kek whatever cuck. Are your new stepkids also half Samoan?

i set the world record for getting kicked out of a nightclub by literally doing nothing
>invited to a friend of a friend's nightclub for an event
>we get there
>place is empty
>literally only 10 people there
>we get escorted to the VIP area
>table we get seated at still has some cups, bottles etc on it
>whatever, order some drinks, server says she'll be back with the drinks and to clean the shit up
>bouncer bee-lines towards us
>throws us out for "sneaking in alcohol"
>what?
>he points to the empty bottles on the table we were JUST sat at
>is this guy on meth?
>bouncer getting pissed
>foreign friend doesnt understand what's going on
>i speak his language, so i try to translate and explain the concept of "being thrown out of bars" (this never happens in his country)
>bouncer getting ready to feed us a knuckle sandwich
>drinks come
>we chug them
>leave
>chillin outside with my bro for a few min
>get text from other friends inside "where the fk are you?"
>explain what happened
>"oh well that sucks meet you in another bar soon!"
>go home, get drunk and play video games
friend talked to the nightclub owner later that day
bouncer was immediately fired
cunt apparently had a reputation for randomly throwing people out for no fucking reason, which turns out was 90% of the reason why this nightclub never had more than 10 people in it.

that's the nightlife of fucking Whistler, Canada for you
oh and the "free food" for this event "wasnt there, someone ate it all xD" and bottles of heineken (the cheapest, bottled beer) were $11 each

>>17771540
Eat my ass.

Went to a gay bar and everyone I talked to was straight.

>>17761855
Went to a beer bar for someone's birthday.
Beers were $11/bottle. Cash only. No ATM on site. Tip expected. I walked in there with $40 and left with nothing.

im a home drinker but one of the times i went to a bar i was playing pool with a friend and he checked out because i never lose and a couple of dudes rolled up wanting to play and after breaking the pool i stop paying attention and my buddy told me they hit the 8 ball in and they just left lol

I had one really bad night but that's too long a story, the other worst experience was when this complete rando was trying to start a fight with me for literally no reason. luckily my bro was there who apparently knew him (the rando was a local drug dealer) and threatened to call HIS brother and tell him he was being a faggot. he left me alone after that.

>>17762309
>sharing is caring
you've got to be joking kek

>>17771523
obviously you've never been to /diy/, straight old geezers on there

>>17762426
Maybe two words in this entire story actually happened.

>>17771703
I wish I was, anon. I wish I was...

>>17761855
The time I went with my gf and she ended up getting drunk, I lost track of her for about an hour then saw her coming out of the bathroom with a group of guys

>>17762426
I'm trying this

>>17763188
I avoid fights at all costs nowadays because I'm not a retard and understand how dangerous skull + concrete can be. I cc at all times

>>17772311
This. The average age of 4chan is now in the mid 30s if you exclude b and pol and the tranny fag boards

>>17763526
It's a family

Jon Taffer has only ever been wrong once, with Piratz

>>17773480
/pol/qt this point is in the 40/50s, it's overrun by Fox News and MAGAboomers

>>17761855
>Go with billiards bar with friend
>He pulls out a pipe and starts smoking weed in the middle of the fucking bar
>Owner comes out and yells at us
It was so fucking embarrassing, I couldn't get out of there fast enough. Needless to say I don't talk to that guy anymore, I wish I'd dropped him earlier.

>>17770653
Happened to me the other weekend. She said she couldn't serve me another long island because it was against Maryland law, absolute complete fucking horseshit. I'll be the first to admit if I am too drunk and deserve something but I was completely fine, not even tipsy at that point and minding my business. There had to be something up her ass that night because she was in a terrible mood.

>>17773448
big if true

>>17771523
This

>>17766287
Finna

>>17762426
That's nothing. Earlier today I was in my workout room benching 600 pounds. My abs were flexing and girls within a 2 mile radius were getting wet. Once I was done with my daily 8 hour workout I called one of the bitches I know, Jessica. So I got into my Lamborghini Gallardo and reved it up to 18,000 RPM (this is an Italian import with special engine system). I got onto the freeway near my house and threw it into 8th gear, I hit about 400 mph and I could hear the sonic boom as I broke the sound barrier. As I was flooring it on the freeway like a badass, Julie called me and said she wanted me to fuck her. So be it.

I came to a full stop from 300 mph in front of her house. These Ferrari's have top notch brakes, you know. So she gets out of the house and walks up to my Bugatti and starts eyeballing my cock. I could tell she was staring at it because when I looked at her I noticed she was looking at my cock. Booya.

Flash forward to like 10 minutes later. My 15 inch cock is going inside of her pussy, hitting them walls. I'm holding her entire body up with my left pinky as I'm fucking her and she has 300 orgasms. She looks me in the eyes and she says "harder." V-TEC just kicked in, yo. I blow my load so hard she falls off my cock. There had to have been about two pints of cum everywhere. People say I cum like a pornstar, I wouldn't disagree with them.

Anyways I throw her a towel so she can clean herself up then I do a triple backflip into my Maserati and drive home.

>>17761855
I thought she loved me

>>17762309
>sharing is caring

Your first wizard invocation, congrats anon

>>17767406
Oh man, when I was in high school, I went on a double date to local amusement park. My friend, his gf, and her friend they were trying to set me up with. We got into one of those things that looks like a big hand that spins around. The girls sat opposite to us. All was fine, everyone was having fun, but at one point I notice the chick looks really uncomfortable. At this point I knew what was going to happen. I watched as this girl threw up midair, while the ride is spinning, and the stream of vomit goes right onto my fucking lap. It was a bunch too. I immediately start gagging and run to the nearest bathroom. I make it right to the entrance and let go right at the threshold. Fuck man there was so much puke everywhere, all over me all over everything. We just got on a water ride afterwards to "clean off" lmao. That girl was mortified for the rest of the night. I tried to make her feel better, to no avail.

>>17768487
They scare me

>>17768556
Faggot

>>17762309
There is no way you actually did that. I refuse to believe anyone is that btard in real life

>>17762423
Holy shit I totally forgot Arizona goths existed. Thanks for the memory

>>17774937
>>17774903
>>17769623
>>17771703

>>17770290
based pigs

>>17771451
You don't know the codes for the secret stash.

>>17762426
I’m way too autistic to understand any of this

>>17771102
but did you win the tekken

>>17774916
>I immediately start gagging and run to the nearest bathroom
That’s where you fucked up faggot. Shoulda cracked up laughing during the ride then fucked her in the bushes afterward.

I once accidently spilled a drink on my pants, and when I went to go get another one the bartender refused to serve me because "You're obviously too drunk. Look you've pissed yourself"

Was bullshit, because we had just got there, and friends didn't want to go some where else. Was stuck watching everyone else get drunk for a couple hours till they felt bad, and we eventually went back home to finish the night

>>17773448
>she ended up getting drunk, I lost track of her
whose fault was that?

>>17771540
yes, and?

>>17775350
>>17773448
Mine. We weren't together long, and I knew she was a bit of a whore, which 2bh is kind of why I was with her, but I didn't expect that at all. I just left and she ended up trying to call me a bunch so I just texted her something about "seems like you were having enough fun in the bathroom." She then blew up my phone for the rest of the night, and I went with my friends and got shitfaced on the other side of town. Never talked to her again lol.

>>17775335
kinda hard when you're covered in chunky amusement park vomit

>>17775336
when something like that happens you just have to get in front of it. The other day at work I picked up a case of water, some must have been leaking, and it spilled all over my crotch and down my leg. For the next hour or whatever, whenever I saw someone I would immediately say "Oh no I wet myself! Couldn't hold it! Ha ha" and it wasn't a thing at all and nobody cared.

>>17775488
god that's hot. not in a cuck sort of way, but a german sorta way where me and a girl i'm insanely attracted to just fuck whoever we want and can, flying down the highway on a million dollars we stole from some old dude or something, idk... eatin nothin but gas station food.

>>17769736
anon we'll take you to a bar if you want. we'll buy the whole damn thing on a night the only bartenders are cuties and only let hot bitches in until 1am

>>17761855
in da nang, vietnam i noticed a haggard man watching me pay for a few drinks at a tourist bar. when we stepped away to a pool table or something i watched him out of the corner of my eye as he approached and poured a small vial into my drink (i suppose he saw that i had some money in my wallet and was going to try to roofie me or pickpocket me or something). my friends and I shared the roofied cocktail and ended up having a great night.

>>17763621
hey that's funny i saw Nicholas Cage in New Orleans too, at Mimi's in the Marigny. He was drunk and slapping people on the back and kind of playing a character, hamming it up, buying shots etc

>>17773938
Why didn't you just go to another bar? That's what I'd have done. Turn it into a bar crawl

>>17766840
he's from reddit, they type like that because it gets you extra points over there.

>>17770464
A bartenders job is to serve drinks

>NOOOOOOOO YOU CANT ORDER THIS CERTAIN DRINK, IT TAKES TOO LONG TO MAKE AND IT MEANS I CANT A BREAK TO PLAY MORE TWENTY ONE PILOTS ON MY IPOD WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Bartenders are lazy scum, they should all be shot and the drinks should be divided democratically. You're a cunt

>>17762268
Women are nice in general because only men can get ahead in life by acting like assholes.

Just lost a bunch of weight (like 40 pounds) and went out drinking to celebrate with my friend.

Friend left her drunk friend with me because she didn't want to deal with her. Girl was cute so I was flirting with her.

A couple of guys were listening to music on the patio on a portable speaker. They weren't being too loud and they were just listening to top songs. I think it was mostly Queen and nobody was too annoyed.

Drunk girl I was with goes over and proceeds to pick up the speaker and smash it against the ground. Guys are understandably upset and get a little volatile. Bouncer kicks THEM out. Don't really know why but they're staying around the parking lot smoking and just trying to chill.

It's almost closing time and I'm probably going to score tonight. Drunk girl goes inside to pee and about five minutes later the bouncer hands her to me saying she tried to piss on the bar because she's fucking out of her mind. "I" have to take her home and take care of my friends. He's lucky he doesn't make me clean it up, etc. We start walking away. I'm not too far away my so I didn't drive when all the sudden these two guys come up.

Girl books it. I've been holding my pants up the entire time because they're too big on me. I can run in these and I just tense up to take a beating.

End up offering to buy their speaker and explain I kinda got left with the girl, the two guys were kinda bros but still (rightfully) wanted at least to be reimbursed for their destroyed speaker. Walked over to an ATM with my pants falling down (Drink girl had taken my belt for reasons I'm not entirely sure of as I was pretty close to blackout drunk at this time) and pulled out 80 bucks and gave it to them. One of the guys said the speaker was only worth fifty and gave me a twenty back and said he'd give me the other ten back next time I saw him.

Saw him two days ago at the same bar and he gave me ten bucks and bought me a beer and a shot.

>>17771102
>>17771409
my theory is that /ck/ is populated by failed writers who got a job at an astroturfing social media marketing firm and in between shilling fast food chains they write flash fiction as practice for their MFA

what do you think of my theory

>>17771523
Your wife is cheating on you lol

>>17775672

And that my friends is the cringiest story I have. It's not maybe as bad as when I got so drunk I heckled Shakespeare in the park and recited the lines before them (which was cringe but at least I knew the lines) or when I got beaten over the head with a pool cue for telling a black guy to "knock it off with the thug attitude"(kinda deserved that one to be honest), or even when I ended up getting banned from a bar for stealing a traffic barrel upfront (it's not even the bars so fuck that place), but it's definitely the most cringe story.

>>17772760
like two stories in this entire thread happened. someone's using it for writing practice and thinks they're better at disguising/shifting their phrasing tone and diction than they are

>>17774853
For sale, MFA degree, never used. faggot

>>17775679
Not going to read this thread, but I write stupid shit to amuse myself and I have every major social media site blackholed in my DNS

>>17770917
Meds, now

>>17771523
>/ck/ is the most normie board on the whole website
mr rude

>>17771523
hey man i hate to break this to you but it's probably not going to work out between you and your wife.

>>17761855
>be me, 18-19 at the time
>burger on /trv/ to London
>family vacation
>last night go to the hotel bar because have a 5am wakeup to get on the train from London to Paris
>chatting up guests and having a decent time
>2 hambeasts and their simp fag friend arrive at the bar and make a scene
>its one of the hambeasts birthday and they're out celebrating
>get informally invited, all my drinks are now on their tab
>one of the grills proceeds to get me drink after drink after drink, jaeger bomb after jaeger bomb, etc.
>absolutely fucking plastered
>she asks for a kiss for the birthday and I give her a quick peck for lulz
>she wants more than that and tries to take me back to her room to fuck
>its 1am and I know I will pass the fuck out if I end up fucking her, ruining family vacation and causing a massive shitshow
>internal conflict of losing virginity to some slutbag vs avoiding a massive familial issue hours later
>decide to not smash, go upstairs and spend 4 hours in between consciousness and unconsciousness puking in the toilet and sleeping right next to the toilet
>dad is a total bro and gets me activated carbon to help me sober up
>ride the train looking like a patient zero of a hollywood style plague at 7am
>dad tells me he lost his shit laughing when a couple visibly freaked after they saw me puke into a bag which inflated massively
tl;dr: almost got groomed at a bar by a ~29 year old fatso who got me drunk, still said no and dad tosses me a blend of disappointment and lulz as he laughs at my trashed state

>>17775774
sounds like you and your dad are fucking lightweight cocksucking faggots. you sure you're not leaving out the part where you sucked their simp fag friends cock?

I went to a bar

>>17771585
Kek someone should take a boomer here and make him order

>>17775774
It's the worst bar experience but overall I've never had a true bad experience at a bar itself, I don't pick dives that are total trash and I go to bars that are typically quality. Never had an issue, even when I hang with total strangers.
>>17765766
>muddling is a time consuming and tricky process
you've never made a mojito before. A mojito is beyond quick to make. Handful of mint from the bar in a highball, lime, simple syrup and white rum in the glass, lightly press and twist the mint a few times with the muddler, add ice and top with club soda as you stir it all together. If you can freepour and keep count it takes less than 20 seconds to get everything set for a muddle and top off. If you're that concerned with speed where a minute a cocktail is excessive, you're at the wrong bar for a mojito in the first place because it's going to use sour mix and rum instead of actual juice and simple. There are certain drinks a bartender can legitimately bitch about making on a busy night, but a mojito is not one of them. Layered cocktails take longer to make than mojitos (unless its shit like a tequila sunrise because ez mode).
>>17775649
You're not wrong but holy fuck you're an insufferable sperg.
>i cant take a break to play on my ipod!
It's about losing other customers and overall more tips given that they won't wait for your one annoying drink to come out. If you order 5 ramos gin fizzes for your table, I'm going to serve everyone else first because I get more money from serving them than just your table with an obnoxious order.

>>17774819
keked. so sick of these fucking reddit faggots co,ing here and making up "hayy guys i was making out with two chicks at a bar, their boyfriends looked at me and i said "FUCK OFF"" to them

On my 21st birthday I got bought a bunch of shots. Too many in a row and I needed to go to the bathroom to throw up. But the stalls were occupied so I ran and threw up into a non-functioning urinal.

>>17775889

It was funny because my manager tried to make me clean one of those

>Her: There's vomit in the urinal.
>Me: Yeah I saw that, that's why I pissed in the other urinal.
>Her: Are you going to do anything?!
>Me: Did they change the rules and can you fire me right now.
>Her: ...What do you want?
>Me: Well it's friday so I'll do it for your tip pool percentage.
>Her: Done.
>Me : Brings in the the hose from outside and just sprays it for ten minutes after using gloves and removing the strainer.
>Her: It's that easy?!?
>Me: Yeah people throw up in urinals all the time.
>Also me 600 dollars richer that night.

My friend and his girl I'd only met once invited me to come out and watch a UFC fight which meant we had to go to the bar like 4 hours early otherwise we wouldn't get a table. I either got food poisoning or became shitfaced way too quickly depending on who you ask but I didn't want to be a pussy and since I only lived ten minutes away from the bar I spent the rest of the night running there and back to puke and take massive shits. Each time I would say I was going for a smoke but eventually the girl noticed I was gone for like half an hour although I played dumb. At another point I spilled an entire pint on our table and came back wearing different pants. The doorman didn't want to let me back in this time since I was being a retard but I cleverly convinced him that I hadn't payed my bill yet. Finally I made it to the main event of this stupid UFC show but I was so miserable that I came clean and just went home which I could have done hours earlier.

>>17775975
what's with all these faggy blogposts? no one is reading that you fucking silly cum gobbling retard,

I tried to fight the Aquaman guy one time but according to my friends I looked like the bitch even though I remember him being the little bitch about it. Weird what vodka does.

>>17775983
OP asked for stories. If you don't want to read any, try a different thread.

>>17776029
uh no. OP didn't ask for faggot ass blogposts. suck a dick you cum gobbler retard

>>17762309
"Sharing is caring." I'm using it this Saturday night. I'm going to make it work, and come back to tell you it worked for me.

I've never been to a bar.

I'm a loner, but I drink alone so I can handle my booze. Should I go to a bar alone? Could I have a good time?

>>17776129

I'd learn how to talk to people drunk first. Doing some day-drinking with regulars while getting a lunch at a bar/grill would probably be the place to go and try striking up a conversation. The worst they'll do is tell you to fuck off but sometimes you'll be surprised.

I'll fully admit I suck at stories so I'll tldr my worst experience. University roommates and I went to a bar (we were all very good friend) and nearly got into a fight with some extremely drunk 6'7 white guy. He got all pissed about some dumb shit and was threatening to kick our ass until he realized one of the roommates I was with was friends with his Gf. He spent the next 5 mins apologizing saying he's a good guy just too drunk. Hands down weirdest thing I've ever had happen to me, going from thinking "fuck I don't think we'll be able to take this guy and his friends on" to the dude just apologizing.

>>17776226
if you're a 6'4" 230 lb navy seal but it doesn't mean you go around beating all your friends into a coma

i hate that everything is fentanyl i miss heroin

>>17776252
I'm a 5'10 manlet king and the two roommates I was with were lanky 6'2 guys. The guys friends were trying to talk him down but he was going to fight and I knew his buddies would jump in, no way we were winning that.

>>17776260
so it sounds like he felt sorry for your group of faggots. putting a manlet into a coma isn't a good look

long story short I fucked a bartender who was a crazy bitch and then my gf always wanted me to take her to that bar and I always had to make excuses.

>>17776129
Going to bars alone is fun as fuck. You can make friends and get pussy.

You also dont have to actually go to a bar that much to be a "regular" if you talk to the staff a lot and they like you.

Fuck I miss drinking so much. You guys dont even know how cool I was in 2018. You wouldnt even believe me if I tried to explain it.

>>17776271
If that were the case he'd have told us to fuck off. Instead he spent 5 minutes apologizing to us like like a child. I harbor no ill will for him, was just a weird situation

>>17776226

This happens alot. It's harder to get into a bar-fight than most people think.

>>17776315
yeah it sounds like you're a manlet

>>17776350
Yes and?

>>17776356
well we know what means don't we don't be jelly dawg

I was really drunk and started crying for no reason.

>>17762309
god so based

>>17771523
Just a heads up, I'm fucking your wife

>>17775983
Why did you click on this thread? Seriously?

>>17776908
This is just every night for me

my worst bar story i can't remember but i woke up in the alley next to the dumpster with missing teeth and a bleeding asshole

>>17761892
>if gets
Go back to r*ddit faggot

>>17761892
>I've run the gambit of dives,
I think you meant Gamut, anon.
I had an absolutely eye-opening experience with an entire LOCALE of bars when visiting friends for a week in Turd-ledo Ohio. Went out one Wed. night by myself to see what the local scene was like, EVERY SINGLE BAR I went to--4, in rapid succession, had the most rude or depressed patrons of anywhere I've ever been.
No wonder John Denver wrote that song:
https://youtu.be/npC9c1hXVkQ

>>17778488
>I think you meant Gamut, anon.
no. but i do think i am more literate than you. open a book son.

>>17778400
anon is right your lame faggy bar story doesn't take a paragraph to tell

>>17778550
Hilarious--
Gamut means the whole spectrum/range
Gambit means strategy, you insufferable faggot.
I wasn't trying to be an asshole before--but now...
Gloves off.

>>17778574
read a book son.

>>17778574
how about you run a gauntlet of dictionaries dipshit

>>17778444
>t. Kevin Nash

>>17778591
Why?? I *Just* fucking defined it for you, you halfwit retard...
>how about you run a gauntlet of dictionaries dipshit
Did all that fun fun as a kid, moran..
That said: Pee is stored in the balls.

>>17778614
shhh my child we'll read some harry potta again before bedtime

>>17778614
shhh my child i know you're falling behind all the other kids in class but we'll try read some harry potta again before bedtime

>>17778618

>>17761855
I came in drunk and passed out against the door in the handicap bathroom.

>>17766840
>REAL 4channelers don't use their enter buttons
>REAL old faggots don't put any effort into their posts
You are everything wrong with this place. go away.

Was like 18 with a friend one of the first times out. We were at a shitty fucking dive bar trying to hit on birds with no clue what we were doing. These two seriously hot women came and started dancing with us. They were from interstate, heading home the next day. My friend fucked off to the other end of the bar with one and the other was grinding right up against me. I lived out of the city and my buddy was staying with me, our last train back was coming up so I convinced him to bail and go home. To this day I suspect they were maybe trying to rob us they were so out of our league but definitely one of the most autistic things I've done.

>>17761918
I had a female bartender that would comp me drinks constantly and I’d usually tip the price of the drink. A thriving economy.

>>17761855
Getting hit on by older daddies

>>17761855
Hitting on the qt twinks

>>17778704
>IRS ACKNOWLEDGE
>SEND THEM IN

>>17771501
Sorry man, that's fucking rough. She sounds like a dumb fucking cunt so you dodged a bullet for sure. Besides, you already got to plow her so now she can go fuck herself

>>17761855
>What was your worst bar experience, /ck/?

Some friends and I went to House of Shamrocks Sports Bar (John R north of 9 Mile) in Hazel Park MI to watch the Lions game instead of going to our regular place, because one of the guy’s fantasy football league was getting together there for something.

The seating sucked, as they only have tall bar stools where you can’t lean back or put your feet on the floor and thus your back ends up hurting, there’s no smoking area outside (just stand in the parking lot like a hoodlum) and the service was slow as shit.

That at least turned out to be a benefit, as when I got the bill, I discovered they had charged me _$7.00_ each for two Bell’s Two Hearted beers.

Fuck that joint.

>>17776302
i believe in the reptilian inter-dimensional puppets and some pizzagate tony weiner shit, try me

>>17780207
did you know besides humans only insects commit suicide?

>>17761855
>be me
>walk into a bar
>OUCH!

>>17780207

>work schedule was 2 weeks on 2 weeks off
>would have two weeks to do whatever I want every month
>would just drop myself in a different city/town for each week knowing nobody and with no premeditated plan. What I call the "burn the boats" strategy
>be day drinking in the downtown area
>go to every bar and talk to people
>become somewhat known amongst the people working at bars and other bar flies
>would go home with girls just for a place to sleep sometimes
>fucked multiple hot girls by the end of the week and have some bros who are pseudo friends
>literally people yelling my (made up) name when I walk in to bars sometimes
>would work out deals with bar tenders where they give me a free beer for every hot girl I bring into the bar so I would post up outside and stop every girl who walks past and talk her into coming inside
>more crazy stories than I can remember

It was burning the candle from both ends though. You cant just live like that for too long.

>>17771671

>>17780289
sure you can. eat right, don't fuck sketchy hoes, little exercise here and there.

>>17780289
>more crazy stories than I can remember
>trust me dude this anonymous blogpost about how cool i am is totally real
LOL you're a fucking lying faggot

>>17780289
the only crazy story is how many cocks you sucked that one night

>>17780289
i found it produces a lovely light

>>17761855
>custom drink during happy hour
>only 2 rail shots and some fruit juice
>that'll be 15 USD
It's about 5 oz of fluid you cunt.

>>17780405
i bet you 20 quid i can piss in your mouth from across the bar

>>17780408
No one cares about your gay money buttertooth. And stop trying to piss in people's cocktails.

>>17776077
I failed. She laughed, and her friend said "what the fuck?" I tried to sit with them anyway and she said "could you not?" I finished my drink at the bar and left feeling too embarrassed to try again.

I'll probably go see a movie. I'm not in the mood to pick anybody up anymore.

>>17780380
>>17780391

lol im really not lying. I have nothing to prove to anonymous neckbeards. I do want the one guy to know how much fun you can have going out alone though.

>>17780419
>I have nothing to prove to anonymous neckbeards.
ahaha yah that's why you're posting bullshit on 4chink. you silly fucking faggot LOL

>>17780419
>trust me i have way more crazy stories where i totally fucked mad bitches

>>17780416
at least you got some balls on you dude

>>17780252
Yeah, that's why the Apple factories in China put suicide nets outside their buildings.

>>17780433
if only there wasn't like 6 gorillion of them

>>17780416
Never, ever and I mean ever try and replicate drunk game. 9/10 times you'll just make an ass out of yourself. PUA shit is dumb too. Just smile, introduce yourself and ask some basic questions, if there's chemistry you'll notice soon.

>>17780252
That's not true. Lots of depressed animals wander off to a secluded place, sit down, stop eating, and wait to die.

>>17780430
Is it really unbelievable that a guy fucked a lot of girls? lol im not saying it was hundreds of girls or that I didnt have beer goggles on at any point.

Try spending 3 days straight mostly in bars drinking and socializing. Youll probably get a girl, it becomes statistical when you spend enough time being a degenerate.

>>17780458
no i'm saying his retarded blogpost about it is a gay fucking larp

>>17780451
that's not suicide though

>be lightweight
>buddy who is assistant manager at a bar gets me an IT gig for his bar to be able to make a system to where they can get Twitter Hashtags on their TV
>get invited by owner to come to bar and have a free tab for the night
>decide to pregame with a 6 pack
>get there
>Buddy starts taking me to the different bars and getting my shots
>Friend tells me to act Canadian to pick up women
>All I knew about Canada is that they made Kraft Macaroni, had a city called Ontreal, and said "eh"
>BLACK THE FUCK OUT
>apparently convinced two college sloots I was from Canada
>Doing well
>Except
>I sit down
>I droop my head
>Then start making my way to the trash can
>don't make it
>projectile vomit everywhere
>friend calls me a cab and shoves me in it
>I don't even make it inside my friend's house
>I pass out in the front yard
>wake up
>what the fuck happened
>My pants are unbuckled
>My pants knees are wet
>"dude what happened?"
>friend has a coworker text him "Tell your friend to fucking kill himself"
>never hear from bar owner again
Swear to god blacking out is nowhere near as fun as people make it seem holy shit I don't remember any goddamn thing

>>17780788
sounds like you are a Canadian for sue

>>17763600
bro you should've married that chick

>>17780741
It's exactly the same thing as suicide.

>>17781014
no. it's not.

>>17781030
Exactly the same. You have no real counterpoint because going off to die is the same as going off to die. Dying on purpose is not different from dying on purpose because it's dying on purpose which is the same as dying on purpose.

>>17765909
As a bartender, you can withhold drinks from anyone. You don't HAVE to ever serve anyone.
I've refused to serve people simply because they're rude.
Don't like it? Just gonna call security over to kick your ass. It's always a losing battle on your end. Always.
I'm not even one of those entitled prick bartenders who needs you to plunk down your life savings as a tip. Just be kind and patient and leave a buck per drink and you'll never have a problem.

>>17761855
>>17777777

>>17782440
A buck per drink?? I'm not that guy but usually I'll tip $1 on the first drink and then 50 cents for every other drink after, would you be mad at that? I normally get like 4-5 beers. And yes I'm always kind to.. Well, everyone when I go out