/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>17723430
Parmesan in stock photos?

Carbonara is pretty meh to bqh

>>17723430
So, what, I go out with a dish full of that and ask a random partner to eat it?

>>17723430
So if I make a carbonara, are pussies just going to appear to my flat ready to be fucked? OR do I just approach strangers on the street with bags of carbonara?

>>17723545
>>17723553
Just fill your pockets with spaghetti.

>>17723430
I can't even score some guanciale, faggotino

Carbonara seems a poor choice of date meal, it seems simple and therefore not impressive, but is relatively easy to fuck up.

>>17723430
Nothing gets me laid as I'm too socially retarded to even get a girl to visit me.

>>17723557
But I might drop them without a plate.

>>17723567
That's why need to learn how to cook it perfectly. If the girl knows anything about cooking she knows how easy it is to fuck it up. Even if she doesn't it's delicious if you ace it.

>>17723430
the heat of the posta doesn't cook the egg :[

>>17723553
You know funny enough I made a really good carbonara for some friends that were all in a study group for a weedout course in my major.

Several years later I randomly run into a girl from our study group. Tells me she still thinks about the day I made her pasta and that it was one of the best things she's ever had. Then in a pretty provocative way she says my wife is a very lucky woman and how we should all catch up some time. Don't underestimate its power, might even get you in trouble if you're not careful.

Bro it's just spaghetti LMFAOING at you

>>17723430
I can make pretty good carbonara but women reject me way before I can invite them over for lunch

>>17723430
Was gonna make this for my mom, what are you implying?

People don't like pasta that much
Captcha AROOT

>>17723430
Pretty heavy to eat before fucking.

Making food ain't going to get you laid. In fact women consider it cuck tier if you can make food.

>>17723887
>In fact women consider it cuck tier if you can make food.
What?

>>17723887
I've only fucked 3 women but 2 of absolutely loved the fact I cook, the first was before I learner. Seems to count for something

>>17723887
Yeah women absolutely love you eating fast food and being a fat fuck.

ALFREDO > """"carb*nara""""
> ALFREDO > """"carb*nara""""
ALFREDO > """"carb*nara""""
> ALFREDO > """"carb*nara""""
ALFREDO > """"carb*nara""""
> ALFREDO > """"carb*nara""""
ALFREDO > """"carb*nara""""
> ALFREDO > """"carb*nara""""
ALFREDO > """"carb*nara""""
> ALFREDO > """"carb*nara""""

>>17723430
Chicks fucking love creme brulee. They are always amazed by it. Throw in a nice meal with an appetizer? It's done dude.

>>17723887
GOOD bait

>>17723929
How do I get that caramelized finish without a torch?

>>17723925
>literally just mac n cheese in denial

Dated a girl briefly in college and cooking never came up at any point. After college, got with a girl who I was friends with before hand and she knew my kitchen skills. When we got together, we would plan more cooking dates then going out dates so she seemed to like it. We'd brainstorm ideas looking online or through books I had, go get the ingredients and make it together. She still got rid of my ass though after a while so in the long run, I don't think being able to cook matters. You're honestly better off having a coke hookup if you're just looking to get female attention.

>>17723917
This. I love a fat man.

>>17725184
Go to any highway gas station and buy a torch for like 3 bucks. They're sold for lightning bongs and crack pipes but they work just as well for searing things.

>>17723430
What if she’s lactose intolerant?

>>17725306
don’t date non-whites then

>>17725323
Actually she was pretty white. A lot whiter than me anyways.

>>17725306
have either lactaid or anti-diarrheal on hand.

>>17725306
added bonus of diarrhea in the sheets

>>17723610
Kek I guess I should learn to make this shit. Good story anon, no cheating now, white man.

>>17723430
The heat from the pasta cooks the egg

>>17723430
I think carbonara is fine but I like every other pasta sauce better except maybe pesto

I've never understood this.
Women are supposed to be the ones who use their culinary and household skills to keep a man, yet all it takes is gourmet cheese and crackers to "impress" them. So weird.

>>17725458
womens liberation reversed it

>>17725306
>carbonara
>lactose

I cook great food for this girl I like every week but she brings her ex-boyfriend over each time

>>17723567
This. Just bake a salmon and make some fancy broccolini and wild rice on the side. Very forgiving but still impresses girls.

>>17723430
spaghetti noodle with scrambled egg and bacon bits topped with powdered parm?

>>17723430
I haven't had sex in five and a half years

OK Travis

>>17725184
Use a broiler, or you can heat a spoon over your burner and touch that gently to the sugar

>>17723567
also the retards here would make garlic bread as a side because all meals clearly need a bread side dish, not understanding that the pasta isn't supposed to be the main in the first place. no chick wants to eat a shit ton of carbs and garlic on a date because they'll get bloated and have stinky breath.

>>17723533
that dish isn't even carbonara. they just put some meat on pasta it looks like

10 years from now some hollywood girl will get a tattoo saying We will all laugh about spaghetti carbonara

>>17723430

>>17725188
Theres no dairy or flour in Alfredo you pleb

>>17723567
this. carbonara is very inconsistent I've found
>>17726022
>garlic

>>17726048
kek

>>17725458
Feminism made it so that women now have "rights" and by that they mean men's rights. And so they abdicated their own, because it's hard work that isn't solely self-serving. Thus, women do not cook anymore.

>>17723430
But I don't talk to women.

take out gets me laid and while I doubt OP pic would stop that from happening I fail to see how it would help over me just making a decent pasta instead.

Ngl I have gotten pussy after cooking this, and that’s the only time I’ve ever cooked for a bitch. That’s 100% efficacy, fellas.

>>17725531
You should probably stop doing that bro

>>17725545
This anon is correct. You also do not want a heavy meal if you are going to be vigorously fucking afterwards, so a fish dish is perfect. If you want to flex, make a risotto.

>>17726613
fuck first snack after

>>17723430
Protip. Let it cool a bit before you fuck it.

>>17727159
No thats for whores

>>17727195
I'll put my dick in any chick above 3/10
But cooking... that's something intimate I don't make food for a woman or even mention it until the 5th date - if you throw that out there too quick, you'll get babytrapped by a terrible woman who will try to turn you into a house husband

>>17723430
where's the fucking SAUCE

>>17723430
>implying I could ever talk a girl into coming to my house to eat something I cooked

>>17723430
>if putting 28 pieces of meat on noodles with a dusting of cheese doesn't get you laid just commit suicide

>>17723533
>>17727622
It's more than enough to impress most normies.
Throw a little parsley on top.

>wh*te people consider noodles and bacon in cream sauce without any seasoning a special dish
fucking lol
at least add some chili flakes and curry powder in there

>>17723430
New girlfriend is vegan, what do?

>>17727798

>>17727824
Man I staved off suicide for years to get to this point, there must be a better option

>>17727798
what do? get in the world of peas, seeds etc. great world.

>>17723430
You're insane, this isn't 1978 when chicks would find Italian cuisine vaguely exotic. It's just carb stodge. You need to be dishing up sushi and salads.

>>17727777
You're trolling, but I agree that carbonara isn't anything special. It's a poverty dish. I can't fathom why people think it's the holy grail of cuisine. Italian shills really did their job well.

>>17723430
Fuck that’s some dry looking carbonara

>>17727777
>Cream sauce

>>17727798
Be with her and go vegan.

when getting laid is as easy as posting your bussy on grindr and getting tapped by 100 coomers in 1 minute, I feel that carbonara would only be getting in the way.

>>17725458
In my observation most women are bad at cooking. People will blame this on feminism or whatever, but I think it's just gender predispositions. My wife loves to cook and bake, but I had to teach her to cook well.

Statistically women tend to follow directions/rules more strictly. So for baking this works out fairly well, but unless you have a very meticulously written recipe with exact weights and temps, it's likely going to be shit.

I had to repeatedly tell my wife to stop exactly following recipes and do what makes sense logically instead of blindly doing whatever this retard on pintrest said.

Prime example:
>wife making some sort of braised dish
>clearly has too much moisture and won't reduce correctly by the time it's done
>recipe calls for even more stock to be added
>she adds it anyways

I asked her why she did that cuz she just told me she thought it looked like too much moisture. She said she was following the recipe and I was like well it's wrong. The look of shock on her face was incredible, it literally hadn't occurred to her that the recipe could be wrong or was leaving information out. She's gotten much better, but it's taken a lot of practice to get her use to improvising and making more conscious decisions. Her friends are so much worse than her now, it's kind of awesome.

>>17725522
>checked

>>17723430
Looks a little dry, and I'm usually already getting laid by somebody any time I make carbonara for someone.

>>17728164
Nice. I hope you finger her asshole a bunch

>>17723583
>If the girl knows anything about cooking

Where might one find such an unicorn?

>>17728336
Restaurants, BOH, or somewhere between their 30's and 50's at a work party. They're going to have some mental issues, maybe a kid or two that they see on weekends, and they probably have a fupa, but the sex-breakfast-sex sandwiches in the morning will be some of the best moments of your life.

>>17726048
top kek

>>17728331

>>17723553
I think he means sex.

>>17728347
Unicorn, not narwhale

>>17723430
LOL STFU U SAD KEK

>>17728368
>Anonymous 04/20/22(Wed)18:38:21 No.17728368▶
>>17723430 (OP)
>LOL STFU U SAD KEK

>>17728360
DID U JUST GOOGLE 4 CHAN MEME HAHA ? FUCKIN BASE TIER GIF

>>17728362
Horse, fish, chicken... it fucks like a beast, cooks like a chef and curses like a sailor, AND it's got that cute little prostate-tickling horn you're after.

>>17723430
It unironically got me laid twice

>>17728334
lol not really she doesn't like that. She said it's like when college students go to bars with fake ids. Everyone knows their in there, but they're not supposed to be.

>>17728448
>knows their
that shoulda been they're, but you get the picture.

>>17728448
not a great metaphor but still kekd