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/ck/ - Food & Cooking

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17623828 No.17623828 [Reply] [Original]

I now get completely shitfaced drunk from a pack of Oreo cookies. What's the most carb loaded meals you know of that's actually a "normal" meal and not just a pile of potatoes or something?

>> No.17623829

rice

>> No.17623832

What a fucking nightmare. You have to go keto now.

>> No.17623833
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17623833

>> No.17623845

>>17623828
lucky guy, how do i achieve this "auto brewery syndrome"?

>> No.17623857

>>17623845
Too much yeast in your guts. It becomes a literal fermentation chamber.

>> No.17623866

>>17623845
Three children at once in a Appalachian Trail shelter while praising Bob Ross in the highest.

>> No.17623881

>>17623857
Nice

>> No.17623884

>>17623828
Oatmeal with syrup, pancakes, pasta, waffles, bagels, toast & jelly, large pizza and liter cola

>> No.17623896

>>17623866
well i do live near the Appalachian Trail

>> No.17623901

>>17623881
It's neat, but then you realize that slamming down a cola right before getting in the car is the same thing as slamming a shot of whiskey.

>> No.17623953
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17623953

>>17623901
so? drunk driving is fun and if you're not a shit driver to begin with you'll be fine

>> No.17623956

>>17623953
kys

>> No.17623962

>>17623896
Don't we all?

>> No.17623969

>>17623953
Yep. Same. It's fun with the music loud and taking corners, working out all 350 of the horses. Mudbogging drunk great too.

>> No.17623977

>>17623896
>well i do live near the Appalachian Trail
What's your trail name brah? I'm "Fuck Off Creep or We're Calling the Cops ("F.U. Creep" for short).

>> No.17623981

>>17623969
Is there anything more retarded fun than mudbogging? Taking advanced technology that costs tens of thousands and using it to fling dirty water everywhere solely for the purpose of laughing like a hyena.

>> No.17623985
File: 1.95 MB, 640x360, bikers.webm [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17623985

>>17623956
>t. lightweight shitty driver

>> No.17623989

>>17623828
Wouldn't a course of antibiotics pretty much resolve this? Possibly supplemented with probiotics/active cultures not consumed within two hours of the antibiotic dose. Or are you just riding the wave?

>> No.17623996

>get shitfaced syndrome
>piss in beer bottles
>call it micro brew
>????
>PROFIT

>> No.17624002

>>17623977
I'm "sorry ok i'm leaving"

>> No.17624006

>>17623996
Yeah... "Micro" brew...

>> No.17624011

Damn man I have crohn's too, is it common to get that as a complication?

>> No.17624012

>>17623989
I'm suppressing it with antifungals, but if I stop taking them for a few days it comes right back.

>> No.17624055

>>17624012
those are pretty damn hepatotoxic as far as I remember

>> No.17624119

>>17624055
I have no knowledge of what auto brewery syndrome does to a person but I assume its not exactly kind on the liver either.

>> No.17624120

>>17624119
yeah I suppose that is a very fair look at it

>> No.17624218

>>17623985
Why are bikers so suicidal?

>> No.17624241
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17624241

>>17624218
why do cyclist make me homicidal?

>> No.17624429

>>17624011
apparently there are only a handful of recorded cases in the last few decades, so I don't even believe OP has it, I think he just read about it and decided to make a thread

>> No.17624469

>>17624012
have you tried drinking bleach instead?

>> No.17624490
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17624490

>>17623828
a PACK of oreo cookies? nigger an entire pack is almost a pound. why would you eat an entire pack

>> No.17624495
File: 76 KB, 320x250, oreo-snack-cookies_320x256_0e556764-9f74-4a16-bfd1-55906087c32d_1200x938[1].png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
17624495

>>17624490
maybe he meant one of these, they have them in vending machines and at checkout counters

>> No.17624496

>>17623832
He needs to do actual keto, like 70% of calories from fat, limiting saturated fat intake due to the amount of fat he ia going to be taking in, as well as a lot of insoluable fiber (remove soluable fiber). Horrible diet.

>> No.17625385

>>17624218
Look twice, save a life!

>> No.17625404

>>17623828
That's fucking based, I'm jealous of you

>> No.17625434

There's a really great doc martin episode on this

>> No.17625480

>>17624241
Cyclists are the niggers of the road

>> No.17625591

>>17624429
based bayesian reasoner

>> No.17625609

>>17624012
When I water fast for over a month all my gut bacteria gets completely destroyed and I'm unable to digest cooked meat. Think it might help in your situation?

>> No.17625613

Isn't Auto Brewery Syndrome kinda rare? Also what did you do to get it?

>> No.17625620

>>17625613
Ate too much ass
Got those worms and exotic bacteria from the fecal matter

>> No.17625621

>>17624490
Wait, it's not normal to eat an entire pack of oreos in one sitting?

>> No.17625629

>>17623985
Neat

>> No.17625814

damnit i wish i could get drunk just from eating
could you theoretically make an alcoholic beverage from your piss, op? you are a brewery, after all.

>> No.17625838
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17625838

>>17623828
wait this is a real thing? you can get drunk from eating?? that is amazing

>> No.17625841

>>17623828
imagine just slamming sodas during work getting piss drunk and your dumb cunt boss cant do shit because you aren't technically drinking

>> No.17625868

>>17623828
How do they help you? Won't this eventually destroy your liver?

>> No.17626796

>>17623956
He will eventually, but not before taking an innocent family of 4 with him

>> No.17626823
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17626823

>>17625838
>The man has said that he'd given up looking for work, and was let go from a job where he worked at an internal combustion engine factory in his 40s for being 'too old'.

>> No.17626832
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17626832

are you this guy?

>> No.17626839

>>17623901
but will it make you fail a breathalyzer?

>> No.17626851

>>17626839
Are you fucking retarded?

>> No.17626863

>>17625621
Nah dude, there are like four servings in there. One sleeve at a time.

>> No.17626878

>>17625838
Thanks, that is amazing:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_who_have_lived_in_airports

My favorite on the list is Bayram Tepeli: he lived in an airport for almost 30 years, but then the airport closed, so he was forced to move to... (wait for it...) a different airport.

>> No.17626883

>>17626839
>Auto-brewery syndrome

The yeast in your gut metabolises sugars into ethanol and makes you drunk

Of course it will

>> No.17626925

>>17624469
He's not trying to cure his Covid...

>> No.17626938

>>17624490
>>17626863
Oreos are vegan though, so you're basically just eating health food.

>> No.17626943

>>17623828
is it true ppl with Crohn's disease shit and fart alot? one time at Mcdonalds this one guy kept farting the whole time and then not long after shat himself, the whole place stunk bad but he kept on eating anyway.

>> No.17626971

>>17626943
It's crazy to think that this poor man's condition means that he'll be alone for the rest of his life, but if he were a woman then she would be my wife.