/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>17618483
>hosting a lady on a Tuesday

Say hi to your mom for me

I'm gay. Have you tried dating other men? Women are annoying and evil.

>>17618490

I’m gay too anon tee here, wanna finger each other’s butt holes in OPs thread?

>>17618489
it's our sixth time hanging out and honestly i'm trying to wife her so i'm going the more casual route for this one
we have plans for the weekend, too, but it's not like i only want to see her on the weekends

>>17618518
Bruh, you're going to come off and clingy and women hate that. Don't call/text her for a few days until she calls/texts you first. If she doesn't, then she's just not that into you

>>17618511
I'm more into having a family.

Women are dumb and easily distracted. Buy a frozen one and add some extra toppings. Make a facsimile and when it's time to bake, distract her and switch your inferior creation with the frozen article, and bake that. Wa la!

>>17618483
heh I bet she's somebody's gf or wife

>>17618532
i know what i'm doing
except when it comes to pizza
i'm thinking we'll just follow this:
https://www.food.com/recipe/easy-and-quick-homemade-pizza-22754

>>17618572
>i know what i'm doing

Famous last words

>>17618572
Date other men and I will reveal the secrets of superior pizza-making.

>>17618576
well, i know how to get women to fall for me, that's about it
whether or not they're "right" for me or whatever else is another matter
i'm fortunate where i'm in a position where i don't need to overthink things like has been suggested (e.g., "play hard to get")
>>17618577
my cousin and i used to pee in a cup together when someone else was using my grandma's bathroom, does that count?

>>17618604
It's unfortunate we live in a society that is so homophobic and restrictive to males that homo-sociality is itself taboo.

you're going to want the raw dough to be tin. it puffs up more than you'll anticipate

>>17618572
>Bake at 400* for 20 minutes or until light brown.

Instantly disregard anyone who tells you to bake pizza at anything less than 525 F. If your crust burns before the cheese is fully cooked then you need to make a wetter dough, not turn the temperature down.

For a NY style pizza with minimum effort I do 950 grams of bread flour, 675 grams of water, 19 grams of salt, and 6 grams of instant yeast. Knead about 80% of the flour with 100% of the water for a few minutes then let it sit for 20 minutes.

Then knead the ever loving fuck out of it until it is smooth and elastic while adding the remaining amount of flour. You can't over knead it. I try to mix about 3 tbsp of good quality olive oil into the dough towards the end to help with flavor and reduce the chewiness a little. Let it rise 24 hours in the fridge to develop flavor.

The pizza should cook in a few minutes. I don't know the time just keep an eye on it. It's done when there are brown spots evenly distributed across the cheese. Don't go nuts on the cheese and sauce or else it won't cook properly. Good pizza is about restraint with the toppings.

>>17618645
>>17618656
thank you gents
the second one sounds great and i'll try it on my own since it needs the 24 hour prep. currently looking for some "quick rising" type deals.

>>17618690
That slow, cold 24 hour rise is mostly for flavor it isn't strictly necessary but you are missing out if you make it the same day. Also, that recipe is for 3 14" pizzas. The dough is really sticky so the gluten development is important not just for the end product but also for handling and prepping.

For a good NY style crust, punch down the center of the dough thoroughly with your fingertips where the cheese and sauce go when prepping the dough. If you don't punch down the center it will be bready like dominos. Don't punch down the outer rim which will allow the crust to rise during baking.

Not sure if you have a pizza stone but the Lodge 14" cast iron baking pan is a decent substitute and can be bought from walmart. I preheat mine for an hour at 550 F and the pizza gets cooked at 550 as well.

>>17618483
this man fucks too, what a good life for fuck sake.

>>17618483
>liking a lady
Maximum faggotry.

Just make sure nobody steals your peetzer

>>17618483
tomorrow?
too late
youll never have good dough in time now

>>17618656
dont knead the dough
do a nice autolysis and keep it wettish

Can't you buy pre-made pizza bases?

>>17618656
Maybe 0.001% of people have an oven that goes to 525 fucking retard.

>>17620983
I've never lived in a place with an oven that doesn't go to 550... retard.

>>17618483

>fantasy world pic of 10/10 girl actually cooking
>the fat pig you’re jumping through hoops to impress

>>17619111
nice thank you, saving all this for future reference
>>17621220
my target is pretty cute
girl in pic looks like a ho who gets fucked on camera for money. not my style but i know the /ck/ userbase has a thing for that look

>>17618483
Answer the door naked. That sets the mood for the entire evening.

>>17621003
I don't believe you. That would be gas mark 12, pure insanity.

Here OP. Make sure you have low moisture moz or you'll end up with soup.

>>17618613
>oopsie woosie did somebody not live a perfect life?
>time to let the butt fuckers have their way!
The absolute state.

>>17622115
Is that for deep dish style?

>>17618483
This had better be her idea. Pizza dough is a skill you either have or you don't. I worked in a couple shops and was consistently making quality home dough from scratch. Without practice my dough is now complete trash. I lost all bearings trying to learn some breads.

>>17624067
It's going to be fun either way, the quality of the food should not matter

>>17622102
>gas mark 12, pure insanity.

Oi! You gotta loicense for that gas mark 12 oven?

I should have known I was dealing with a brit. Even your ovens are pitiful and weak just like everything else on that god-forsaken island. You would probably have to get on your knees in front of Putin himself just to get enough gas to get your oven up to 550 F. Meanwhile, in America, I can crank my oven up to 550 F all day long and get this beautiful crispy crust with a soft fluffy inside when ever I want. Absolute perfection. Look at this, gaze upon it and despair, you will never have this.

>>17622102
>>17624355

You will never have this.

>>17622102
>>17624355
>>17624359

YOU WILL NEVER HAVE THIS.

>>17624355
>Even your ovens are pitiful and weak just like everything else on that god-forsaken island
lol how long does it take you to boil a kettle faggot? no, not on the stove dipshit like it's the 1800s

>>17624355
>>17624359
>>17624365
so incredibly based

>>17624387
>muh tea

No one cares.

>>17624355
In what Kind of sissy oven you are baking this crap lmao. I made this in a toaster oven

>>17624426
If a toaster oven is all you got I admire you for trying but this just cheesy bread, not pizza.

>>17624359
overkneaded - bad crumb

>>17624468
anon just didnt rotate - pizza looks 10 times better than the other

You should start a ciabatta base right away

>>17618483
you should pair the pizza with a cocktail of wime and roofies

>>17618518
>it's our sixth time hanging out
>i'm trying to wife her
virgin detected

>>17618483
>pic
mommy

>>17624084
This. My god are you people THAT autistic you think you have to run your house kitchen like a 3 star restaurant? It's a date where they are gonna make a shitty pizza. Get the basics and just have fun making a shitty pizza that's gonna be meh but the memory is what's gonna get him laid.

>>17625390
do you even respect pizza craft?

Anon who hosts little pizza get togethers all the time here.

I usually use sourdough, so that's the only real difference, you're going to use the faster yeast dough which has its own benefit.

You can trust Sally, this recipe is good and makes two pizzas. Just crank the oven up to 550° (people are afraid of higher temp but it makes better pizza) and cook for a couple mins less. https://sallysbakingaddiction.com/homemade-pizza-crust-recipe/

Pizza stones and steels are great tools you probably don't have and can be expensive. A big cast iron pan (14") can work and is cheaper, but it's a lot harder to work with putting a finished pizza into a pan with rims instead of one that has high edges.

Whatever you use as your baking surface, it goes in the oven to get hot while you top your pizzas. I recommend actually making the pizzas (stretching out and topping) on a sheet of parchment paper. When you put the ready-to-bake pizza dough on the hot baking surface, it will start cooking immediately.

I would recommend that you do some test pizzas before she comes, make some extra dough or buy some Pillsbury crap from the grocery store, so you get the technique down first before she arrives.

>>17618483
how about boiling her some fresh lobsters as a side?

>>17618518
>sixth time hanging out
anon, I...

>>17618656
just use percentages, it's easy to adapt and it works for any style of pizza
you need a strong flour though (14% protein)
70% water, 2% salt, 0,5% yeast is my goto pizza dough for any style of pizza
in fact, I'd say any dough with less than 65% moisture is not really a pizza dough. you're just making flatbread at that point

>>17618483
For one ~14 in. pizza: 166g water, 263g bread flour, half tsp active-dry yeast, tbsp olive oil. Throw it in the stand mixer and then knead it. Leave it in the fridge, coated in oil so that it does not dry out, for 24 hours. Then preheat a pizza stone at the hottest your oven can get for 30min-1hr. The secret is to par-bake the dough before putting the toppings on to ensure a crispy bottom and crust. Make sure to pop any bubbles.
You also need a pizza stone/steel. Lol @ you if you do not.

>>17618483
Pro tip, just copy someone’s dough recipe on youtube or elsewhere. You can read about what hydration levels are, how far in advance to make the dough, how to bake it, etc. but you really just need experience. As a beginner, you probably won’t know enough to make a competent dough on your own, so going the tried and true method first then branching out is a good strategy.

>>17622540
>gets divorced several times
I just had an imperfect life ok!!! It’s not my fault!!!
>gays get married
This is NOT heckin okay. The SANCTITY of MARRIAGE must be PRESERVED!!!!!!

>>17618483
person who arranged this stock photo should be shot

>>17625881
Forgot to mention, do not forget to add a tsp of salt to the dough.

The date went well, lads.
Thanks for the pointers.
Alfredo and pesto sauce. Mushrooms. Prosciutto. Garlic. Arugula. Mozzarella.

>>17620973
Yeah, I like the brand Boboli I think it is. Literally made for fun date nights

>>17624355
You forgot to piss him off even more by going month/date/year..... wait a minute

>>17618483
>tomorrow night
congratulations, you're too close inside a good cold fermentation window to make anything decent without a lot of experience.

>oh I can just make some room temp counter-rise recipe and it'll be good
Yeah if you don't know what you're doing you're going to fuck it up and look like a retard to this girl.

>>17626146
Did you fuck?

>>17626263
Ain't no chump.

>>17621746
Has anyone made mozzarella with breast milk? It would make a good first food for baby, and you could also put it on pizza.

>>17625881
>166g water, 263g bread flour
autism

>>17626305
Sounds like a "no" to me

>>17618532
>>17624871
>>17625866
>t. i watch PUA videos on youtube and think vests and fedoras look cool but have never actually touched a real woman
>>17618518
Good for you OP, God bless
get a pizza stone if you have time

>>17626263
The tragedy of dating is everything is in reverse order. IMO much better a nice hard quick fuck, then gorge on pizzas and wine and beer rather than the opposite order. So much nicer to dick-beat the cunt when hungry then slide into a fuzzy pizza netherworld then sleep but, no, no, no, we can’t have nice things, you must fuck after pizza and wine or beer because reasons.

>>17624355
Post oven.

It's wed, but I'll give you the basics of what I do. The theme I'm going for is low salt. Salt is a preservative, and you can taste it everywhere once you notice it. If you use basic ingredients you can bake it yourself, providing a low salt, better tasting pizza.

1. Get a bread maker. It has dough settings. Add the ingredients and let it kneed.
2. Basic ingredients of pizza dough is white flour, yeast, olive oil, water, stevia.
3. oil the pan with olive oil so it doesn't stick.
4. Bake at 180 C for 10 minutes
5. Add cheese - use cheese from a bakery, or farm, or something that's fresh and low salt. It's light years better than the heavy salt mass produced cheese bricks.
6. Add sauce. So far I've just used store bought salsa, but in the future I plan to make my own with canned tomatoes.
7. Add topings - spinach is great. Tomatoes, mushrooms, etc. Veggie topings are great.
8. For meat, use chicken. Avoid pepperoni - low quality meat and greasy.
9. Bake again for 10-15 minutes, whatever you need.
10. Enjoy.

>>17626525
The tragedy is there's too much loveless fucking in the world. That's the reverse order.

>>17626892

>>17626928
have grass

>>17618483
I'll pound her dough... if you get what I mean

>>17630079

No. Explain yourself.

>>17630686
I think he means that he would assist her in the preparation of her meal, anon.
also this >>17626488

>6th date
>She's coming over for a cooking date midweek
Anon, she's already your girlfriend. You have made it clear these are dates, haven't you?

>>17631322
It isn't the 90s, gramps. People date and screw multiple partners for years without regarding any of them a legit boy/girlfriend.