/ck/ - Food & Cooking

That shit looks freaky as fuck. Who the fuck ever looked at this and thought "yyeaaaaaaaaaah I'm eating that"? Fuck off with your alien lookin assss and fuck mushrooms

>>17617807

you're faggot wtf lmao

>>17617807
This applies to like 99% of food. Especially seafood. Hell, even if they know how good it taste, many people are still freaked out by lobster and oysters.

>>17617803
Is it even legal to sell morels in your state? Even if you collect them from your own land it feels like a state resource, like deer. And if your aiming for 200lbs I'm guessing your going to national forests.

>>17617860
I have 35 acres of dense woodland. And yes, it's perfectly legal to sell as long as you get a license. It's a complete joke like getting a chauffers license, read a pamphlet, answer a brain dead quiz and you're good. Usually make at least a thousand dollars each year selling them to local restaurants. Keeping them all this year though.

>>17617807
bleeding tooth fungus looks way worse

spongy morel

>>17617807
If you cook these in butter they remind me of steak.

>>17617803
what state do you live in?

>>17617803
>200 lbs. I'm not even going to sell any. Just for me.
Based.

>>17617891
Michigan. They should start sprouting within a week or two. Hopefully.

>>17617807
Ever seen a woman’s puckered asshole? Delicious

Good sail my man

>>17617912
I guess I better keep looking in my woods then. Im not too far away. Any tips? I have some luck (and a LOT of private timber) but usually I just get a few and then give up and stock up on the golden oysters that grow like weeds.

>>17617803
Trespassing mushroom hunting is responsible for 90% of guns getting drawn on people in my area

>>17617803
>at least 200 lbs
that's a lot of shrooms to cram up your ass just take your time don't do it all at once

>>17617912
Go to your spot, michigan bro. You'll find nothing but stems.

>>17617924
Oak, ash and elm trees are their favorites. And like most mushrooms the wetter it is and the more recently disturbed it is the better. A recently fallen dead ash tree next to a small creek is the kind of place you should be looking for.

>>17617803
Where can you pick shrooms in the US?

>>17617925
God is telling you to make use of your mushrooms.
You don't use God's gifts???
You try to become your own little "god" and make your own way?
Expect trespassers. Expect enemies. Expect calamity.

>>17617936
I have many spots. They are legion.

>>17617946
Outside. Maybe even the bedroom if you're particularly disgusting.

>>17617807
Why are there so many picky eaters on /ck/? Practically every thread, there's posts about how 'ugh, i'd never eat liver/blood sausage/seafood/mushrooms/hot dogs/pot pie/trotters/tropical fruits/whatever? Shouldn't people here be enthusiastic about food in general and...oh, right, being picky about what you eat is a symptom of autism. Nevermind.

>>17617803
Never found any here but ceps are plentiful.

>>17617881

You can't say that and not post a picture of it, faggot

>>17618499

>>17618521
They look cool but you shouldn't eat them unless you want to get very sick.

>>17618521
Looks delicious like blackcurrant coulis with clotted cream. Couldn't stop me from eating that

>>17618554
Nah, they're not toxic at all. Just crazy bitter. It would be like eating aspirin. Not poisonous at all, just gross.

>>17617807
Calm down nerd. You have trypophobia

>>17618521
looks like what comes outta ur mother when i finish up

>>17618563
Interesting. I need to look better into my mushroom books. I just don't pick that I know are not edible.

>>17618593
Don't rely on books. Good way to die. It's best to not fuck with shrooms at all unless you've got an expert on hand and the books and the experience. Far too easy to find a shroom thats 99% similar to an edible one but it'll kill you in slow agony.

>>17618608
I only pick mushrooms I know and never anything white.

>>17618608
anglos are such mycophobes it's almost hilarious you'll never know what ur missing

>>17617946
Get in touch with your state's mycological/mushroom society. They usually have mushroom identification groups/events that can teach you what grows and when/where to find it. Pic related is a stupid meme but it's true that a cocky novice mushroom picker can really fuck their shit up if they fail to notice some minute difference between an edible shroom and one that'll shut down your RNA polymerases

>>17618626
You don't pick mushrooms. Anyone that does knows full well how convincing some examples of toxic shrooms can be. False without resorting to Google (we both know you will anyways) what's the difference between a false morel and a real one? How similar can some examples be? Keep in mind one is delicious, one can put you in a coma.

I once came up with about ten pounds of morels one summer. They're out there, you just gotta look at the right time

>>17618699
lol i grew up picking shrooms before google existed my dude maybe don't project ur scaredy baby nuts faggot opinions. ur retarded meme pic is retarded mycophobe.

>>17618708
Indidnt post the pic. And clearly I'm not afraid of picking mushrooms when I'm planning on picking 200 lbs. I just make sure to tell inexperienced people that it's dangerous. Because it is. But, hey, you bravely pick mushrooms. And base your masculinity off that. Kek.

>>17618708
I'm someone else you LARPing homo keep me out of your stupid dialogue
>>17618669

>>17618732
>I just make sure to tell inexperienced people that it's dangerous. Because it is. But, hey, you bravely pick mushrooms.
when's the last time u heard of someone getting sick from shrooms?
>And base your masculinity off that. Kek.
my grandma taught me about shrooms u baby dick scaredy ass faggot

>>17618739
Last fall, several hundred people in France. Why do you keep feeling the need to compare mushroom picking to how tough you are? You're the obvious virgin screaming about how much pussy you've gotten. Nobody that gets pussy feels the need to say it. Nobody that's not a keyboard warrior feels like picking mushrooms makes you a tough guy.

>>17618766
>Last fall, several hundred people in France
were they "french"?

>>17618766
saying shrooms are dangerous over and over just means ur an inexperienced retard. where did you imagine i was talking about getting more pussy than you?

called u an annoying scaredy baby nuts bitch and ill say it again lol

>>17618781
>>17618797
Seething that you have to settle for 2 morels on your suburbs bikepath.

>>17618822
morels don't grow here but yeah i'm totally seething you silly safety first karen bitch lol

>>17617807
First post worst post

>>17618826
https://youtu.be/0j1zuw0lw7Q

>>17618891
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIxA1rnkARo

>>17617803
How to spot "false morels"?

>>17618669
>What are RNA polymerases and what do they do?
RNA polymerase (green) synthesizes RNA by following a strand of DNA. RNA polymerase is an enzyme that is responsible for copying a DNA sequence into an RNA sequence, duyring the process of transcription.
Hahahaha nope

>>17619168
but i know big reddit words mush rooms are really scary

>>17617807
I bet the reason people chose them is that they're readily identifiable to the point that even a complete knuckle-dragger wouldn't confuse them for something poisonous.

>>17619244
I need you to go to the nearest person to you in real life and ask them: "what are reddit words?". Would you do that? You mind rotted autistic son of a bitch.

>>17617807
>Who the fuck ever looked at this and thought "yyeaaaaaaaaaah I'm eating that"?
Probably some tribesman who was starving and had no other choice

>>17619354
dis the internet and i wood have to be sigmund fucking feud to explain just how fuked u are for crying anonymously on 4 chink

>>17618335
It isn't autism, its just americans

>>17617912
I go by the 4inch soil temps. Expect them to start popping up at 45 degrees

>>17617803
I'm convinced that there just aren't morels in new england. I go out often and have never seen one

>>17619633
Are you actually hunting them in season though? If you're just walking around looking, even at the right time of year you won't have much luck. You have to find the right environments and even then they're sneaky little fuckers that love to sit underneath a leaf the same color as it. It's called hunting rather than foraging by many for a reason.

>>17619633
they don't grow right on the trail dipshit

also i want to note bushwhacking is not very fun

euro forests are way easier

>>17619649
In the past few years I've sporadically gone out from april through september. When looking for morels specifically I look for dead trees and I go after a decent rain. I know they blend in really well but I swear I've never seen any. I find chanterelles and chicken of the woods plenty but never morels. The places I usually go are wooded areas next to rivers.

>>17619713
the paradox of shroomies is the more u pik the gud ones the more they grow and spred. if u a country of anglo cuckold pussies it's hard to find.

>>17619720
also why french canadia is somewhat decent fpr shrooming comparativly cuz they not pussy anlgos

>>17619713
Next time wait until your area is reporting that they've started sprouting and this time don't just look. If you're in an area that you think is good for them, kneel down and start brushing away leaves/foliage. It's really not something you do by hiking and looking, even in the right spots. Get dirty. And don't do it for ten minutes and then feel defeated.

One time i was out looking and not having any luck when the urge to shit hit me. As im crouching there pooping i notice a whole bunch right in front of me

>>17619168
>memorizing some jewish shit in the failed attempt to sound smart

>I will not stop until I've hunted at least 200 lbs.
>hunted at least 200 lbs.
>200 lbs.

Go for it OP. We believe in you!!!

>>17618917
>false morel
they look like brains instead of beef tripe

I have 25 acres in WV. Never seen them. Any tips?

>>17617803
>I'm not even going to sell any. Just for me.
good, so there's no morel dilemma

>>17617803
oh shidd they have those where I am

>>17617807
>Who the fuck ever looked at this and thought "yyeaaaaaaaaaah I'm eating that"?
Human beings a million times more capable than you who faced the threat of starvation, disease, and death on an almost daily basis struggling for thousands of years in a cold, untamed, nightmarish world so that their eventual descendants, sitting fat and comfortable with hardly a fear in the world aside from existential bullshit, all the food of the world at their finger tips and command because of the fight and struggle of their ancestors could look at the things which starving and desperate people discovered through trial and error were edible solely to increase their chances of survival and say "ewwww gross! who even thought about eating that!" and go order another $48 meal for one to be driven to their very doorstep off grubhub.

>>17621409
that idea falls apart when you realize that before 50k years ago (really a short amount of time), most humans were retard tier.

>>17617803
I didn't find any last year. I hope this year is better.

>>17617803
how hard are these to grow and are they good for selling? i recently bought a house in the countryside and have lots of space and free time to experiment. Got interested in growing shrooms and read some stuff online, apparently a good way is to infect tree stumps and I have a few of those laying around

>not simply tekking your own

>>17621478
I just see a whole bunch of Americanized penises.

>>17621484
>yuropeon
>obsessed with america and cocks

Checks out

>>17621459
There's a reason morels aren't cultivated. You could give the spores an absolutely perfect environment and it's most likely they'll just tell you to fuck and not sprout.

>>17617878
what does a chauffers license do for a mushroom collector? genuinely curious

>>17623316
it's taking advantage of boogie retards.

>>17623344
I still have no idea what any of this means

>>17623393
it means u have to let a n*kker from popeyes take a big spicy fried chicken sh*t right into ur pretty white mouth. and then smile after

>>17623423
*nigger *shit

>>17617860
>YOU GOT A LOICENSE FOR THAT FUNGUS
Literally nothing is going to happen.

>>17623614
yummers thanks for notifying janny tranny

One time mid summer I was sitting on the edge of the planter outside my apt building. Out of the corner of my eye I see a dark clump of weird things popping up out of the mulch in the planter... then I look around and see hundreds of black morels. In the middle of downtown Ottawa. My mind was blown

Unfortunately they were probs full of cat piss and exhaust pollution so I didn't harvest any.

>>17617803
>I will not stop until I've hunted at least 200 lbs. I'm not even going to sell any. Just for me.

>>17618335
Most people here are underage. Kids also hate spicy things which is why /ck/ rages at hot sauce.

>>17617803
I think we're still another month out here in idaho. Can't wait, just ate the last of my dried ones a couple weeks ago.

Anyone have any tips for outdoor drying methods? I don't have a lot of room to set up drying racks inside and I don't have a dehydrator.

>>17624618
Grab a needle and thread. Now you can hang them wherever and you have no excuse in terms of not having space. Horizontally, vertically, hell you can wallpaper a room in them.

>>17618917
they barely look alike. just enough for the imposter to be called a "false morel"

>>17624714
honestly anyone dumb enough to mistake that for a morel deserves to get poisoned

>>17618335
Everyone has at least one or two foods they're not crazy about. For me, it's mushrooms. I'll eat them if they're served to me and I like them in certain contexts, but I don't cook them for myself and I don't order dishes that are centered around mushrooms. The problem is when someone actually refuses to eat some food or another

>>17625088
Have you even tried morels? They don't taste anything like the white grocery store mushrooms.

>>17624714
>morels
are both black and white edible?