/ck/ - Food & Cooking

What a dumb thread.

>>17573773
Operating within the law? Pfffft.

Fucking children is illegal but it's really pleasurable. Ban me. I'll be back with a new IP address.

Fags.

Pork and beef are a must, probably shellfish too to get jews, muslims, jain, and hindus. Christianity doesn't have any dietary restrictions so that one is tougher

>>17573783
just eat it during lent on a friday

>>17573783
>Christianity doesn't have any dietary restrictions
Retard

>>17573773
>>17573775
We had this thread already: >>17554154

>>17573783
>Christianity doesn't have any dietary restrictions so that one is tougher
So I've thought about this one, and I think I might have found a loophole.
Jesus said "It's not what goes into a man's mouth that befouls him, but what comes out".

To that extent, I'd argue that using vomit or spit would count.
If we wanted to make that at least """palatable""", Chicha might be a good option.

>>17573797
I missed it the first time, and I'm sad now.

>>17573773
This thread was dumb the first time you posted it and it hasn't changed.

>>17573799
Jesus also said to jerk off onto the ground. Mark 4:26
Not sure you should trust everything he said

>>17573817
Anon, real talk. That thread was posted 4 days ago, and had a total of 41 posts.
I'm not the one who posted it, and you're an idiot for expecting me to know about a thread that basically went straight to page 10.

>>17573829
>Not sure you should trust everything he said
That's exactly the point of this meal.

>>17573773
There's some good suggestions in here. I would reccomend also attempting to commit the sin of gluttony while consuming all your blasphemous foods.

>>17573783
You can't fuck children when eating it.

>>17573773
foie gras, also that quail or hen or whatever that you have to cover your mouth to eat because it's so sinful

>>17573773
why would He care about what you eat? I know certain people were given very restrictive rules they're forced to follow, but that's because of their constant and almost never-ending acts of treachery and betrayal isn't it?

>>17573799
>>17573829
Put cum on the sandwich.

>>17573783
>Christianity doesn't have any dietary restrictions
Certain branches have various restrictions similar to Jews and Muslims, as well a number of Protestant branches discourage or prohibit alcohol consumption. Christianity is so divided as a religion that it's really not fair to make broad statements beyond "they worship Christ".

>>17573961
Whoa. So even if I'm treacherous, I can make up for that by following food restrictions?
Maybe this is a religion I can get behind.

>>17573958
Ortolans

>>17573834
You know more about that thread than I do and that doesn't negate the fact that it's dumb.

>>17573987
No, it's about learning the lesson of self-restraint.

>>17573996
By following food restrictions, right?

>>17573987
well, best and worst case scenario though, you just go into nothingness when you die. resting i abraham's bosom or whatever they call it.

>>17573958
>>17573990
Was gonna a say this. Though I'm really not sure what's so sinful about eating a bird whole. Animals do that shit all the time, in fact I just watched my cat do it the other day and it was kick ass

>>17573994
I know more about it because someone referenced it to me just a couple posts before you.
Right now, I'm just trying to make heads or tails of the fact that "multiple people" were aware of a thread that 404'd after only 4 hours, and both of them happen to be in this thread.

Very interesting.

>>17573773
Just eat salad. /thread

>>17574006
Yes, and when you learn to be mindful and restrain yourself when it comes to what you eat, you can then start to apply that sort of restraint in other parts of your life. Life is journey full of lessons.

>>17573773
Ortolan

>>17573829
Never trust anything coming from a desert cult.

>>17574071
>Yes, and when you learn to be mindful and restrain yourself when it comes to what you eat, you can then start to apply that sort of restraint in other parts of your life
Why would I have to?
If I'm eating right, then I did my time.

>>17574079
I know you're trying to be funny here, but it's sad to think there are people who refuse to grow as a person.

>>17573773
I'd have to imagine communion wafers are involved somehow.

>>17574087
What a lovely idea.

>>17574086
Who said I refuse to grow?
I just don't trust your idea of growth.

>>17574074
Wow, yet another reason to hate the French.
They really are the chinks of Europe.

>>17573773
Make sure you have some candy made from the devil's lettuce for dessert.

>>17574112
>Who said I refuse to grow?
Neither of us said it, but you did.

>>17574127
The pharisees would be proud of you.

>>17573773
Imagine believing anything you ingest pisses off "gods"

>>17574100
That's not socialism.
Learn the difference between volition and mandate.
"Should" and "Must" are different words for a reason.

>>17574116
>Buddafinga
Okay. That's hilarious.

>>17573775
get used to it two out of seven people told him it was good so it will be the new Jack

>>17574222
>2 out of 7
The fuck are you talking about

>>17573773
I would love to try the broodwich.

>>17574286
I met a girl once at a card shop who had it tattooed on her ankle.
The first and last time I've asked to take a picture of someone's feet. A damn shame I can't find it anymore.

>>17574274
Try to follow along retard. it ain't hard even if you rub it

>>17574331
Do you speak English

>>17574334
ESL can't follow along?
Well that's a real shame

Based duelling strokeposters.

>>17574336
I'm 30 and born in the Midwest.
I can't keep up with your gay memespouting.

>>17573783
Christianity has a blanket ban in the Bible against eating blood still
>>17573773
Bacon Cheeseburger with Blood Pudding
Bacon offends
>Muslims
>Jews
>Jains
>Sikhs
Beef
>Jain
>Sikhs
>Hindu
Cheese
>Jews
Blood Pudding
>Christians
>Jews
>Muslims
>Sikhs
>Jain
>Potentially Shinto (if eaten in a Shinto Shrine)
The big problem of offending anyone is Buddhism, since they are the largest religion with absolutely no dietary restrictions

>>17574356
And yet being an old Yankee on 4chan you don't know what a meme is..
Maybe you're just an retard?

>>17573783
>Christianity doesn't have any dietary restrictions
Christ never changed the dietary laws. Peter's dream was about people.

>>17574076
>>17574100
Spotted /ck/'s resident sodomite

>>17574382
Guilty (flaps wrist)

>>17574116
I wish weed was still fun for me.

>>17573773
The sandwiches I sometimes make contains the following:
>mortadella
>salami
>prosciutto
>capocollo
>provolone
>mozzarella
>parmesan (the real kind, not the fake kind)
>prior to grating parmesan, coat top of sandwich with olive oil
>crushed garlic
>oregano
>parsley
>rosemary
>thyme
>sage
>basil
>red pepper flakes I get from the pizza place
>then grate parmesan
>toss in oven until cheese melts and the house smells like garlic
It's kinda expensive to make, as far as sandwiches go, but worth it.
>what about vegetables anon
What about them?

>>17574386
Does this trigger you?

>>17574382
Does this trigger you?

>>17574396
>>17574400
Sir, this is a blue board

>>17574076
Shit up and cum on the ground already.

>>17574431
fight me.

>>17574074
This one.

>>17573783
Use holy water for cooking the meals to piss off christians

>>17573773
Most important ingredients owuld surely be:

1. Critical thinking.
2. Avoidance of dogma.
3. Only having sex with adults.

>>17574361
There are many different cults of buddhism, some are more easily offended than others.

You could just make the meal unnecessarily flamboyant and piss off more than half the buddhist cults.

>>17574382
Slaughter and eat is not a change...?

>>17573971
Most churches branched off of the Roman Catholic Church, which doesn't have any dietary restrictions.
Guess eating meat on a Friday might count? In the US that's more of a guideline though.

>>17573773
Why do you care edgelord? Japan probably had one of best hedonist restaurants. It was classified as a "club" so they could get away with shit that other businesses couldn't. You would bring in your pet, have sex with it, then they would take it and cook it for you and anyone you brought with you. If I remember right they also kept some stock animals around.

>>17574683
>Why do you care edgelord?
Honestly?
I read the book of Ezekiel recently and learned about Ezekiel bread. I thought it was an interesting concept where God is challenging one of his prophets to rest the grossest thing he can thing of.

To that extent, I'm suggest that the meal needs to be baked using human feces as kindle, since even God thought that was too gross to force Ezekiel to do.

>>17574683
>Why do you care edgelord?
Honestly?
I read the book of Ezekiel recently and learned about Ezekiel bread. I thought it was an interesting concept where God is challenging one of his prophets to eat the grossest thing he can thing of.

To that extent, I'm going to suggest that the meal needs to be baked using human feces as kindle, since even God thought that was too gross to force Ezekiel to do.

>>17573799
Fuck I wanna drink a chicha chewed by sexy mestizas with big bundas

>>17574389
what happened?

>>17574019
It's not that eating a bird whole is sinful, it's that the traditional mode of preparation makes this specific dish is sinful. The little songbirds are killed by drowning them in cognac as part of the marinating process.

Brawn and casu martzu on blood bread

>>17573773
Nothing offends the Lord more than a Reuben

>>17573783
OP could just blend that all together into a paste, slather it all over someones cock and balls, and suck it off.

>>17573783
>>17573788
surf & turf with bacon on a lent friday

>>17573788
catholics aren't christian

>>17573773
ortolan bunting, but with a pig inside a cow

>>17575336
So their Jesus is a different dude? Mexico's older than I thought.

>>17575338
porveaulan

"Take the following fine spices: 500 shekels of liquid myrrh, half as much (that is, 250 shekels) of fragrant cinnamon, 250 shekels of fragrant calamus, 24500 shekels of cassia—all according to the sanctuary shekel—and a hin of olive oil"

I bet rubbing this on your dish would do a great job of pissing God off.

"Do not pour it on anyone else’s body and do not make any other oil using the same formula. It is sacred, and you are to consider it sacred."

>>17575468
If nothing else, I'm offended by the inclusion of cinnamon and cassia, and their ratios.

>>17573773
>Operating within US law, of course.
Law is God. You have to offend Uncle Sam too.

God isn't real. Jesus was not a real person. Being gay is not a sin or immoral.

>>17575816
We could include unpasteurized milk if we wanted to target uncle sam specifically.
I'm just trying to get away from obvious answers like cannibalism since that would offend nearly everyone. The mods already swept through this thread and purged the guy that suggested fucking and eating children, so let's stay away from that for the sake of this thread.

>>17574578
So a blood pudding bacon cheeseburger eaten atop a golden throne on a monster truck while a philharmonic orchestra plays their rendition of "We Will Rock You" should suffice?

>>17576165
also the monster truck is a shinto temple

>>17576165
Don't forget in a shinto shrine

>>17573773
definitely include a polyester/cotton blend

>>17573969
this. its not on the ground, and its pretty gay

>>17576864
But I don't even know how to cook those!

>>17575820
Yeah, but being gay is gay

>>17573773
OP don't fucking do this. It's not worth it

>>17573955
he said christianity not judaism

>>17577529
Don't worry, anon. I'm curious, not spiteful.
I'm not going to waste time, effort, and resources just to try and piss someone (or something) off.

I'mma good boy.