/ck/ - Food & Cooking

How the fuck would I know what you have access to? Go to the fucking store and look at the prices and alcohol percentage you lazy cunt.

>>17547803
Drink liquor straight from the bottle like a real alcoholic.

>>17547803
Make your own in your bathtub with fruit that you foraged and natural airborne yeast. If the box itself is a sticking point then I guess you could just grab one from a nearby dumpster. I think this is the most economical wine possible.

>>17547803
I'm gonna presume you're not willing to commit to liquor. The answer is, whatever is the cheapest alcohol by volume on any given day. Check clearance if you're desperate.

>>17547803
Just look at the pricetag, you stupid asshole. What the fuck do you think you're asking?

>>17547847
What's the most effective way to harvest yeast from the air?

>>17547803
At my liquor store it was Pete Vella

$10 handles of vodka are the most economic way to get drunk and you can mix it with fucking anything.

>>17547803
trader joes has some decent options for a 3 liter that range between 11-13% for $12.

>>17547803
This is better than boxed wine.

>>17547803
What I do is get the least economical on the shelf. It's still very economical, and the cute cashier assumes I'm not getting it for the price to volume ratio because I didn't make the best choice for that.>>17547813

Literally just the cheapest and strongest, are you retarded?

>>17548138
based and rossi-pilled. favorite varietal? i'm partial to the chianti.

>>17547803
Fruity Lexia (makes you sexier)
Coolibah (sends you far)
Stanley
whatever's fukken the cheapest.
whole point of goon is to get whatever shit's $8 for a gallon so you can do pic related

>>17548138
This. Also, it has the wide mouth because they know you sure as shit aren't going to be pouring it in a glass. Carlo wants you to drink it straight from the bottle.

>>17547803
spoken like an alcoholic ben shapiro. seconding everyone in the thread recommending carlo rossi purely for the fact that you get the added bonus of having a cool giant glass jug left over afterwards

Go to one of those places that makes the wine for you (you have to put yeast in yourself by law in Canada) then after 4 weeks you show up and bottle it. 30 bottles for $100CAD. Can't get cheaper in Leaf land but in the USA you would probably be better just buying cheap wine.

>most economical
Not sure what you mean.
Almost every 4l box is $18-$21 so get whatever.
Highest boxed wine ABV tends to be Chardonnay, at 13-13.5

>>17547876
airborne yeast is a meme. the "natural yeast" actually comes from the flour or on the surface of the fruit.

>>17547803
The franzia crisp white has the highest abv of that brand and is the most common and widespread brand you’ll find at 13.6% iirc. Bottom shelf vodka will always be the the greatest bang for your buck 99/100 and don’t buy the bullshit that the cheaper makes for worse hangovers. If you really want to save money, just get an entire case of it from a liquor store and they’ll usually only give you a small markup if you arrange a deal with the manager as opposed to their usual self price. Don’t bother making up a lie about a party, they’re not going to judge you for wanting to save some money. Can save you a couple thousand bucks over the course of a year.

>>17548138
Who is the market for this stuff? Just poor desperate alcoholics?

what's the point of boxed wine

>>17550778
It releases wine without letting air into the container, so you can pour some without accelerating oxidisation and therefore don't have to finish it off as soon as you do with a bottle.

>>17550778
>>17550812
and it fits great in the refrigerator

>>17550778
>meme reason
alcoholics
>real reason
australians

>>17550716
Carlo Rossi is decent as a cheap table wine

>>17551594
What's the difference?

>>17550778
It minmaxes shipping and cooling costs.

>>17550851
>not using ice
ngmi

>>17548138
Spilled a whole glass of this on my nice keyboard. RIP

>>17548138
If they were 5L jugs instead of 4L I would absolutely agree with you

>>17551681
Some alcoholics don’t live in Australia.

yo i didn't know americans gooned

>>17551994
Why not?

>>17548138
My dad used to get so sick drinking this garbage :(

here's the end game, this is what you have to look forward to

>>17547803
Goon isn't worth it lad, no matter how cheap

>>17548138
>>17548256
Indisputably based. Also the Chianti is absolutely the best one, it's a nice table wine to sip a glass or two after you get a buzz off a nice bottle of wine

I sincerely hope that all of you buying box wine are still in college

>>17552548
I work at one now if that counts.

>>17552275
Close, but powdered drink mixes are cheaper.
Also, adding lemon juice to it helps mask the booze a lot if you like sour things.

>>17552907
>powdered drink mixes are cheaper.
Truth. This is my go-to

>>17552917
That's kinda smart since the electrolytes in Gatorade help mitigate hangover effects.

>>17552175
Alcohol tax in Ausfailia is silly.

>>17547803
1.75L 95% alcohol Everclear, box of black tea bags, lemon concentrate, white sugar, Franzia cabernet sauvignon
>Pour couple ounces Everclear into mason jar
>Make Arnold Palmer from lemon, tea, and sugar to taste
>Combine in mason jar
>Top with a nice gradient from the red wine
I dont know if this has a name so I just call it the Nasty Arnie

>>17552988
The Nasty Arnie sounds based.

>>17551972
?, just buy 2 then

>>17548157
you are not a thought in any cashiers mind

>>17554100
The truth is that NPCs like you are the minority. Real people notice things.

>>17554110
you will never know how wrong you are about everything

>>17547803
Vodka

>>17547803
>in america wine comes in....boxes
do americans really? but seriously do yous REALLY really? what the fuck is wrong with you, it's something in the water?

>>17554110
Anyone who holds a position in a grocery store, let alone a cashier of all things by definition is an NPC. If you have a soul, you cannot perform this job. Press the little X in the top right while you're still ahead.

>>17554121
Cheaper to ship cartons than glass bottles. Wine drinkers dont typically use their bottles as melee weapons but its a concern also.

>>17554121
its not americans retard
australians invented it, actually fucking rent free

>>17554121
thats a fucking OZZY FUCKING GOON BAG CUNT dont you forget it

>>17548751
What am I looking at

>>17555361
A bag of wine hanging from a clothesline, probably for a shrimp barbeque or spider wrangling or whatever the hell aussies do on the weekends.

>>17554110
I can assure you, as someone who has worked as a cashier, we do not fucking think about you. Anything you say or do is out of mind within 3 minutes. You are meaningless.

>>17555398
As a dispenser? Ingenious. I thought they were making something by baking it in the sun

>>17555361
a goon bag hanging from a hill's hoist
(a bag of wine hanging from a rotating clothesline)
used to play "Goon of Fortune" aka: everyone stands in a circle, spin the clothesline, whoever it lands on drinks

Bros I like to slam goon before plowing my BBW wife's asshole.

>>17552548
>still in college
>you won't be 21 until around senior year

WTF???

>>17555992
This sounds like an elaborate shitpost but im tempted to believe its real

>>17556285
>he didn't graduate from high school at 17
Jeez, are ya retarded or something?

...why not just make some jungle juice for the sake of cost and overall volume?

>>17555483
I didn't say NPCs don't exist at all.

>>17547847
Artificially selected brewers' yeast is like a buck and you'll get vastly better results

>>17556487
nigger I was born in November

I turned 17 halfway through senior year in hs

I got like half my senior year in college to drink legally

lrn2math

>>17556412
of course it fucking real are you living under a rock or something?

>>17557492
I've seen it before, but on first exposure it doesn't look real because nowhere else in the world has those spinning clotheslines that take up too much space for no reason.

>>17557492
>of course it fucking real are you living under a rock or something?
No Im living over a rock, why else am I doubting surreal Aussie customs and terminology?

>>17557508
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hills_Hoist