/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>17538909
every time. every fucking time I go to the store half the people stand next to their cart and take up the entire fucking aisle while they stare at their phone or try to decide what they want. or two retards will stand in the aisle having a conversation while people have to squeeze past their fat asses.

>>17538921
how dare people make a conscious decision about what they want to purchase instead of mindlessly grabbing horseshit off the shelves. god frogposters are the most insufferable people on the planet

>>17538921
You should move to Japan, people there are similarly too autistic/non-confrontational to even say "excuse me." Everyone basically gets a sixth sense if someone is behind them and they move aside, or else in the first place they don't stand in the middle of aisles blocking. Sounds like you need to do that since you're too cripplingly Aspergic to just say "sorry excuse me"

>>17538931
fat fuck detected, get out of my way
>>17538946
>this is just like one of my japanese animes!
stop standing in the aisle sperg, or better yet just kill yourself

>>17538980
Did you even read my post? I'm saying you are so severely autistic that only moving to an autistic country can solve your problem.

>>17538984
>did you even read my post?
no, I didn't

>Orders though CornerShop

>>17538909
>turn around to go back the way you came
what do

>>17538921
LITERALLY me

>>17539014
Just order delivery through the store's own service, it's always cheaper than these shitty third parties and they actually have a vested interest in getting you good products.

>>17538946
it's rude to say excuse me. Like, what does that phrase even mean? It's meaningless. There's nothing there that even remotely translates to "get out of my way". Or, for that matter, bodily functions. If you absolutely feel the need that YOU MUST say something after burping, "I'm sorry" would be more appropriate.

Going around and saying meaningless catchphrases is not polite. Either tell me to move or wait, none of these "excuse me" garbage.

Even worse than that are the "bless you" people. I jump down their fucking throat every time and tell them to never make any form of remark about my sneezes ever again.

>>17539113
bait checked

>>17539022
why jay and simon from inbetweeners in america?

>>17538921
>half the people stand next to their cart and take up the entire fucking aisle while they stare at their phone or try to decide what they want
I sometimes feel like I'm some sort of retail anomaly because I write out a list of the shit that I need to buy and then I just... go buy it.
I know where the shit is located, I bee-line it straight for what I need, get in, get out. If I spend more than 15 minutes in a grocey store (minus bakery/meat/deli counter wait times) I'm doing something wrong.

Anyone else here that guy that's autistically taking way too long to make a simple decision that probably doesn't affect anything, yet nonetheless is extremely conscious about being in the way of other people that need something from that section of the shelf?

>>17539151
Maybe instead of taking your sweet time having a schizo moment you could just get it done and move away

>>17538909
What I hate is the old retards that feel the need to immediately stop as soon as the walk in or out of the grocery store. I swear every time I see an old person near the entrance/exit their retarded old brain tells them to stop and stand right in front of the door. Wish those welfare queens would just hurry up and die

>>17539113
God bless you

>>17539113
>it's rude to say excuse me. Like, what does that phrase even mean?
i means you're asking me to excuse your transgression of needing me to move for your worthless existence to endure.

>>17538931
>a conscious decision
if you need to look at things on the shelf for longer than a few seconds in order to know what you're getting for groceries then you are not conscious.

>>17539248
Actually, excuse me is a way of getting people attention.

For example, a proper sentence would be: "Excuse me, would you mind moving?"

Except over time, the second half of that phrase fell out of use. They stopped saying it because it started going without saying, similarly to "of the clock".x0vza

>>17538946
you think in reverse.
it's the autists that stand in the way instead of sticking to their side of the aisle.

>>17539113
what pisses me off are the "you're fine" people (after you say excuse me)
what the fuck does that mean?

>>17539253
i'll excuse you of your fuck up this time, anon.
>"of the clock"
however, there is no excuse for this.
"o'clock" is npc speak to sound posh.
real motherfuckers say the exact hour and minute and we assume you know if it's at morning or past morning.

>>17539264
it means they've granted your request and have excused your transgression.

>>17539253
EXCUSE ME, I AM HERE TO SAY THE N-WORD

Whats so hard about asking someone to let you go past them or grab an item that theyre blocking.

Its not like there are 2 of those types of people on each side and theres no space for you to go past inbetween them safely. You have to place yourself above them in that moment and ask that they move in a polite way. If it needs to come to it then just grab and move their cart out of the way.

>>17538909
>Bitch get out the way
Would probably look at me outraged
>what's up?? Square up hag

>>17539022
I wouldn't be here cus of my chadness

>>17539286
>Whats so hard about asking someone to let you go past them or grab an item that theyre blocking.
what's so hard about staying self aware and courteous to others existing and just naturally staying the fuck out of the way instead of doing it on purpose to force conversation because you're lonely?
because that's why they do it, they're fucking lonely and want to talk.
fuck them.

>>17539286
>the it's not hard meme

Excuse Me, Everyone, I have an announcement! It is not hard to hand me all the cashmoney in your wallet and you have no reason to refuse because it's not hard please form a line, blocking the aisle to hand me my money and godbless

>>17539267
>>17539264
for me, when I hit somebody with a ''you're fine'' or like ''no problem/dont worry about it'', it's only usually because they act like way too subservient or implicated in the exchange, like people who would bend like old japanese ladies to run across when you make ways for them...
Like bro chill, you don't need to act like I'm lording over you...So I hit them with the ''You're fine'', with a slight hint of ''don't act so pathetic though bro'' in the tone...
Otherwise I just say ''go ahead'' and move the fuck out the way. But 9/10 I clock people moving in from an aisle away so I just do it before they get to me. I've always had high spatial awareness like that.

You wanna know who the real offenders are? People who walk backwards into things, or other people. Like bro the grocery store is not a ballroom, we're not doing line dancing here, stop pulling moves, you're gonna walk into people...

Why the fuck do old people develop tunnel vision and become extremely doddery the minute they enter a shop? My granddad isn't like this normally but he becomes that way whenever I take him shopping he becomes a very slow moving obstacle to navigation.

>>17539297
he does this on purpose so he's away from the wife for longer.

>>17538946
I live in a high asian population city and it's basically like that. This one old lady sensing me approaching with fucking ki or something and moving her cart and bowing multiple times to apologize for being in my way still lives rent free in my head after two years. I just had a basket so I could have squeezed past fine, I'm not sure why she went so far out of her way.

>>17539244
>have a simple bodily function
>you invoke the name of god in vain
the fuck you doin

>>17539305
I hate that shit...Makes me feel like I'm an abuser or something, when people flinch and fucking bow down...Like breh, I'm a cool dude, don't act like I'm going to deck you as I walk past...Really hate that shit. Always hit them with the ''pathetic'' glance and the disappointed ''you're fine.'' like no, really you're fine...

>>17539302
Fucking kek.
>Started playing golf every day after work (golf course literally outside work)
>in Winter picked up curling 3 nights a week

>>17539308
god isn't his name it's his title

>>17538921
>two retards will stand in the aisle having a conversation while people have to squeeze past their fat asses.
Cuuuuh.....
>Excuse me

>>17538909
>>17538921
>>17539324
entire family of fat asses walking entirely too slow and taking up the entire aisle.
usually mexican.

>>17538931
>browsing items on the shelves
>taking up three shopping cart lengths worth of aisle
>these are the same thing

>>17539310
How visually horrific do you have to be to get strangers cowering in public spaces?

>>17539362
not visually horrific...but I am imposing. 6'3, 100kg. Pretty fit. It's just I'm a big guy, but I'm nice. It makes me feel like shit when I see people act scared and too subservient. Feels wrong brah, I just want to be friends and share the space...

>>17539253
>would you mind moving?"
I'm sure there are better ways to say this

I know I piss people off at the store.
I'm farsighted, so I need to stand on the side of the aisle ACROSS from the things I'm actually looking at, and people really don't know how to handle me. They walk in front of me like "excuse me sorry", like maam I'm not gonna be upset that you're in my field of vision for 2 seconds.

ram my cart into hers

Just keep walking, they will learn eventually

>>17538909
why the fuck is she drinking mountain dew

>>17538931
learn to parse words better

>>17539113
God bless you.

>>17538909
>>17538921
>'scuse me
is it so hard?

>>17538909
LOUDLY SAY while you pass through
>Excuse me, thank you

>>17538921
I go to the grocery store late at night and still have to deal with this shit.

>>17539242
This is a phenomenon at my store too. Old people hour and these grey shitters just constipate the entrance

>>17538909
Just move the cart out of the way? What's the issue

In my country we have "elderly shopping hour" so these old fucks get the store to themselves between 7 and 8 or something so normal customers aren't bothered by them and they can take all the time they need

what the fuck is it with people pulling their shopping carts by their sides like an oversized handbasket? first it was dumbasses pulling the cart behind them, but now i've seen several people lately pulling it by their sides, taking up more space than if they'd just push or pull the fucking thing directly in front or behind them. and it's almost always some broccoli-headed zoomer or some retarded spic.

>>17538909
I was leaving the grocery store yesterday, and this grandma was entering the store with her cart walking approx 0.1 miles per hour in such a way that she was blocking the entire exit. I’ve become more patient recently, so I didn’t mind just standing there, waiting, but all these people piled up behind me trying to leave. From their vantage point, it looked like I was just standing there being a moron, and everyone was getting pissed. One lady bumped my butt with her cart. Finally, the old woman appeared through the doorway and one person behind me said “oh” out loud. Sometimes you morons don’t see the bigger picture. If you can’t wait to eat your sriracha oreos or whatever just eat some while you shop, or better yet go kill yourself.

>>17540407
While you were trying to act like a good person your anecdote seems to imply the opposite is true about you.

>>17540411
no

>>17539242
why the fuck do they do this?

>>17539022
>one scooter
a worthy challenge
>two scooters side by side
should be a warcrime

>>17540417
I'll bet they're going through a mental checklist of keys, wallet, coupons, or something because they forgot the one time and it made them look old.

>>17539814
This, grab the cart and move it into a sensible position, like teaching an animal.

>>17540448
Speaking of which, I was sitting outside of a coffee shop yesterday and some old woman got in the wrong car. The true owner of the car came running out when he saw someone dicking around in his car. I felt bad for that woman, but she laughed it off.

>>17539113
because, you autist, people don't respond kindly to "GET OUT OF THE WAY" or "MOVE BITCH" even though that's what everyone knows we really mean

>>17538931
ESL or just retard

>>17540460
What really fucks you up is when an identical car is parked next to yours and when you realize it's not your car after you pull the handle. Reality suddenly bends back into shape. I bet that's what getting old is like.

>>17538931
>how dare people make a conscious decision about what they want to purchase

Make a shoppihng list you tard before you go shopping.

>>17540460
poor lady.

I offered a old man help getting into his car. He was so deaf I had to basically yell it at him, and before I knew it the entire parking lot was staring. I still don't think he fully understood me that I just wanted to help him get his groceries into the damn car.

>>17538921
>use my phone for my shopping list since I can just have a recurring checklist for the stuff I usually buy and easily add stuff at home when I see I'm out of something
>old people think I'm using social media when I'm reading the list/checking items off it

>>17539242
I have noticed this too, do their decrepit old brains need to load what to do next or something. Pisses me off.

>>17539022
> salmon shirt recedes
> manlet proceeds
> salmon shirt follows
Easy.

>>17539242
It's called the Doorway Effect. Same thing that makes you forget what you were going to get when you enter the kitchen, I reckon it evolved to make us stop thinking about tits and scan the environment when we hit a clearing.

>>17539959
I've only seen that with fatties where they apparently lifting their arms to the push bar is too hard. Probably need to save their arm energy for when they get home to binge on the junk food they're buying, I guess. Which makes it even worse since they now take up the space of 3 people in the aisle.

>>17539264
they're hitting on you

I wish they would just get rid of the rascals/scooters in groceries.

No one who uses them ever needs one, its always lazy fatfucks who could stand to walk a few laps.

Anyone who is actually disabled has their own scooters anyway.

>>17538921
kys frogshit

>>17540460
>leaving your car unlocked
some people deserve to be fucked with

>>17539151
>know exactly where the item I want is
>someone standing in the way
>rather than saying excuse me, pretend as though I'm looking for something
>"find' it the second they move

>>17538946
>say "excuse me"
>boomer lady gives you a death glare and makes a big show of moving out of the way as dramatically as possible

>>17539798
Kys

i love old people
>scuse me love mind if i get by?
>oooohh is that a pineappel ?? what are you gonna make with that??
new bestie

>>17538909
https://youtube.com/watch?v=cEuU64Zt4B0

>>17539113
You are literally asking them to excuse/pardon/forgive you for inconveniencing them. Thats the point of the phrase.

>>17539022
Look at that smug look if superiority in the cart. She knows deep inside her fat rolls are just a layer of glory protecting her superior beauty and intelligence. That look of knowing that she is the master of all things physical and temporal and this body is merely a vessel until she moves into a plane of unknowing. This is true greatness and nothing will stop her master designs if we could even comprehend such things.

>>17538909
Those hips aren't suppose to last much longer.

>>17539375
gentle giant over here

>>17539145
You are, part of retail's design with how things are organized and structured is to encourage choice paralysis. People know the gist of what they want, but let's say you want something like a can of soup, you're bombarded with different flavors, variants, and even brands, and they use that overwhelming sense of choice to encourage you to buy more than you intend or, if you made a mistake on what you got in the initial trip, to come back and buy something potentially better.