/ck/ - Food & Cooking

step 1: stop being fat

>>17516872
I had a caprice salad because of a /ck/ thread and ate an entire package of mozzarella cheese and my stomach was upset for probably an hour or so

take it to health and fitness, fag

>>17516894
yeah but they're trying to be superhuman and stuff. i just want to eat bacon without pooping my pants

had to take antibodies last week and i laid down and took a nap after my morning dose.
fucking biggest mistake of my life. worse experience than the infection it was treating.

always remember to sit up straight after taking your pills anon

>>17516894
/fit/ is not "health and fitness", it's just "fitness"
/ck/ is food and the thread is about eating food that makes you vomit, get heartburn, etc.etc.

>>17516906
huh, i didn't know that was a thing. I will avoid acidic foods/drink whenever i'm taking adderall so that i get the most out of the drug lol

>>17516913
that too, acidics are defiantly a no-go

>>17516944
tums? I use 'em only once or twice or thrice a year

>>17516872
Wouldn't the best way to treat acid reflux be just to eat more food? Food in your stomach = something for your stomach acid to actually digest, that or eating alkaline foods but they don't really exist do they?

>>17516952
i'm pretty sure acid reflux is when the acid starts getting into the esophagus.

ever stick your hand into a glass of water and the water level rises? more food might just make it worse.

there's almost like a second form of acid reflux that happens sometimes on an empty stomach and in that case a small snack probably would help. soy, milk, and many fruits are all basic and should help

>>17516952
If you want to fast track Barrett's esophagus sure

Get your electrolytes bros. Fixed my sore throat I had that happened around bedtime. Also look into digestive enzymes. I do lowcarb most days so I make sure to take one 30 minutes before a carb heavy meal since it seems your body reduces your amount of carb digesting enzymes (amylase iirc) if you don't have carbs regularly. This means I wont have real bad abdominal pains/gas if I get a burger and fries. Also I always start/end my meals (I do OMAD) with dairy.

>>17516872
>gutposting

>>17517021
are digestive enzymes the same as probiotics?
i had a stretch of time during the pandemic where my diet was all take out and i started getting constant indigestion after eating anything no matter what it was, took some probiotics and it fixed me right up

>>17517029
>are digestive enzymes the same as probiotics?
No. Probiotics are live microorganisms that benefit the gut biome while enzymes help with digestion. You can use both together without any problem. Look into enzymes if you have regular abdominal pains, gas, or bloating. Pancreatin is what I use on carb days.

>>17517135
I fart a lot, will enzymes help with that?

Also what is it if I get a lot of phlegm and have to cough after eating?

>>17517135
I heard that enzymes are what make your asshole burn after shitting out spicy food. Do enzyme pills make your asshole burn?

>>17517190
Should. You'd want to make sure you're taking the right enzyme for whatever your diet is though. Might require research if you eat strange. I only need help with carbs since I do lowcarb plus some fasting.
>>17517232
Haven't had this problem. From what I've read it seems that the food is passing through your system too fast so you end up with enzymes and stomach acid. Cutting carbs could reduce this as carbs pass through your system more quickly. Or reducing the amount of times you eat per day. If you have a high carb diet then I'd ditch caffeine. Though spicewise I'm only really having a few teaspoons of cayanne pepper with my food/coffee so can't be too sure personally.

i had the flounder fish sandwich from popeyes and my stomach was growling for hours
it was left out for like 8 hours though do maybe thats why

>>17516872
I was recently diagnosed with GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease). Anyone else with GERD here? I manage it with an alkaline diet and prescription medicine. It's okay to cheat. I still eat a lot of things.

>>17517458
What's an alkaline diet? Eating literally only eggs?

>>17517530
I think it means she has to buy ph-balanced hippie water

>>17517530
>>17517604
Basically you're both stupid because the GERD diet is all about ph levels and doctors prescribe these diets to patients with this condition.

Try not responding to every post if you don't know what you're talking about.

>>17517625
Wouldn't ph balance be an obvious choice for someone with grids? You're just being contrarian

>>17517635
Just shut up.

>>17517635
bro, are you retarded?

I can help you but you need to stop doing things to your body first, and come back when you realise your body is being treated unaturally and your lifestyle is fukt otherwise go to doctor. They'll fix you. They don't make that kind of money to give you bullshit so you keep coming back. Theyre like mechanics, but with meat. Theyre people of integrity.

For those of you who haven't found relief through the proper channels, I would suggest playing a game where you pretend you are poor, can't afford supplements, can't store food, cook or buy ellaborate meals. Stay away from food that doesn't rot after a week in room temp, drink water that doesn't come from municipal sources. Start your body over and avoid artificial anything's. Meds will fuck your shit up sometimes so if you need pills, I guess choose what's more important in terms of meds vs. bio health.

Most these posts sound like your body is overdosing/rejecting on whatever your eating and reacting to it by purging. I would suggest not trying to live with the diet you want and start with the diet you need to not die

And for you anons who are trying to think you still get in your bullshit, try not eating things that need to be cold stored. In addition to >>17517794

You'll go through withdrawals from your usual meal choices for the first few weeks of it if Im right about what I think you all eat like. Go to a doctor or a scientist though. Theyre smarter than me.

>>17516872
my antibiotics course ripped up my sphincter from all the hard pebbly shits. Was squirting streams of blood into the bowl. :(

>>17516872
If you have a lot of acid reflux look into Dexilant. It's the only medicine that helped my acid reflux.

>>17516872
Is this the genelet general?

Bunch of weak ass faggots in this thread. Try a permanent fast see if that helps.

>>17516872
Every time I get drunk I have diarrhea the next day. Why is this? Should I take fiber pills when I drink?

>>17516876
>issues like acid reflux
>stop being fat
found the retard

>>17518057
This post reeks of america

>>17516952
>alkaline foods don't exist
they're called salads

>>17518057
Tell your boyfriend to stop peeing in your butt when you're passed out

>>17518079
You ain't the boss of me, I'll do what I want

I started taking Apple Cider Vinegar before meals recently to improve my stomach acid.
I've tried it neat and chased it down with water, also mixed into water. I prefer the first way because it's a bit more palatable than drinking a glass of vinegary water, but this way also gives me temporary stomach pains.
Anyone else have any experience with this/any tips etc.? Is there a better way of doing it? I was thinking about putting it in juice or something instead but I somehow feel as though vinegary juice would be worse than vinegary water.

>>17518253
I dilute it with squash and water, the acidity enchances the flavour in berry squashes and gives it an extra tartness imo

I keep shidding and farding and it's ruining my life. At least every other day I experience this hell.

>>17517768
>Theyre people of integrity.
>doctors
hahahahaha

>>17518042
That's called starving to death, anon

>>17518076
You mean those leaves that you coat in vinegar?

>>17518315
And seed oils!

Eat real fermented sauerkraut and pickles, they're not always super easy to find in regular grocery stores but are becoming more common, in case you don't have some faggy market where they sell shit like that near you. I have been lately and it's done a lot to improve my digestion which was not great after I drank a fuckload over the holiday season

I also ate partially rotten meat a couple times and I guess that can actually be a positive thing but I've worked up to that over the years

>>17518309
Feels like summer

>>17517636
>>17517687
Not am argument

>>17518309

>>17518374
Just trying to prevent mustard gas

>>17517768
>They'll fix you
lel

>>17517768
>They'll fix you

Lots of anons here need to get tested for h. pylori. Once I got rid of that shit I rarely ever get heartburn anymore

>>17516872
Every other day I experience bloating and headache. Every day I wake up I get brain fog and mild headache. Headaches get extreme sometimes and I only feel better after I've drank shit ton of water and vomited out everything I had in my stomach. It's ruining my life. and it's all due to gut acid.

>>17519428
What did you use to get rid of it? Prescription meds?

>>17519454
Antibiotics and a PPI for 5 days

>>17519428
What did the test involve? Was it poo test?

>>17519464
Yeah stool test is the most accurate I think. I took a breath test where you just blow into a bag

>>17519504
did they turn the lights off during this test?

>>17519507
Yes

>>17519523
Good I had hoped so

>>17519440
Have you tried tums?

>>17516872
damn this thread sounds delicious

>>17519457
Ppi are just going to stop the digestion. You'll revert back to your bodies issues if your still trying to deal with the same garbage coming in.

What to do about trapped gas and fractional bowel movements? Such as visiting the toilet 3 times in 3 hours to finish one movement, feeling painfully bloated and miserable the entire time.

I fixed my retarded perpetually burning stomach by eating huge amounts of pineapple for a whole year. It was a fucking miracle.

(((Doctors))) wont want you to know about pineapple, but now you know.

>>17516872
the one thing thats important is dont eat a lot of shit inbetween and have fixed eating times.
the body loves routine.

I only poop every 2 to 3 days despite eating fibre and vegetables. When I read about Americans pooping everyday or more than once a day, I'm convinced that its a meme. I can only poop when the poop is right at the tip of my anus so I don't have a daily morning pooping schedule.

>>17516872
>all my life never been able to belch
>only burp when in the process of puking, or an accidental "normal" one maybe 2 or 3 times a year
>asked a doctor, he said it's just the way some people are, can't do anything
>stomach gets super bloated easily
>always makes me feel full so that and my metabolism make me a hungry skeleton
>all the stomach gas just becomes farts
>literally brapping all day
>embarrassed by it so I always have to find ways to get away from people to fart
>having a girl spend the night means I have to stealth fart when she's out of the room/asleep or hold it in and be uncomfortable all night
last night I had a bunch of beers and I have been ripping ass for the last 18 hours. my life is hell.

>>17516894
/ck/ has always been the food health board.

>>17520352
That perfectly describes my situation. I haven't found a solution and doctors had no clue.

>>17520877
That's honestly hilarious and your post made me chuckle heartily, if that's any consolation. Make sure when you drink beer you pour it straight down the center of a glass. Never drink from the can. There's like 3.5 cans worth of CO2 in each can. I can't imagine your suffering if you shotgunned beer.

Get well soon, brapanon.

>>17520877
Time to switch to wine or liquor lmao

>>17516872
I had a perforated bowl recently. At first I just thought I was constipated or I had bad gas or something, but then it got worse and worse. then we thought it was a uti or bladder infection but I was in excruciating pain and ended up having to go to the ER. I'm there for six hours and the doctor says I have a bladder infection and sends me home. so then a couple days later the pain had gone down a bit then got way worse so we went back to the ER and this time I was admitted. I was there for 6 days and they pumped me full of shit and did a couple scans, then sent me home and just said I was getting better. basically they just said it was swelling in my intestines or whatever and that I would have to go get a colonoscopy to figure out what caused it so I'm going to have to do that at some point. the whole experience sucked, I hate hospitals and being stuck there was even worse. I slept maybe a total of 8-10 hours the entire 6 days I was there. the first few days I was on a clear liquid diet which sucked but I was in so much pain I didn't really feel like eating. then when I started feeling better they let me eat and the food was better than I expected but not great.

>>17521273
>doctor is incompetent, gets wrong
Many such cases
t. ranny

I drink one bottle of kombucha a day and 10g of Metamucil(not together) every day.

>>17521316
What are your poops like?

>>17521285
yeah he was kinda retarded honestly. he seemed like he didn't even want to be treating me. My wife is a nurse at the hospital I was at and she asked around and found out that he is an asshole and nobody likes him there. the second doctor was fine but he barely spoke to me at all, he would just say a few words and ask a couple questions. he was a surgeon and was waiting for my labs to get better or he was going to do surgery, but he didn't want to bc I would end up with a colostomy for like 3 months or something. I'm glad I didn't get surgery from him though bc my wife said he's a terrible surgeon and all the surgery patients of his that she sees, are all hacked up and often don't get better. the whole ordeal including the first ER trip, the doctors bills, the imaging, and the hospital stay has come out to around $24,000 with no insurance.

>>17521320
Depends on how much water I drink.
But my shits legit just falls out of my ass as soon as I sit on the toilet.
I used to be chronically constipated and would shit legit once ever 4-5 days at its worst. My shits were huge, greasy, and heavy. It almost got to the point that they wouldn't fit down the hole.
After taking metamucil every day, I shit daily and it floats half the time.
My shits were still pretty big thought. But I think my colon just permanently got big cuz of how big my old shits were.

>>17521342
>my wife is a nurse at the hospital i was at....no insurance

Nice larp faggot

>>17521348
Sometimes when I go to sit on the toilet the shit will rocket out of my ass all over the seat and all everything. Only the most mushy of poo poo

>>17521351
sorry I say wife just because we've been together for about 10 years now, but we aren't actually married. I don't have insurance but she does through her job. also she has only been a nurse for like 2 years and her job honestly doesn't pay that much, she makes like 4k/month. her insurance is like ~$350 a month or something like that, maybe more idk. and if we were married it would be like an additional $400 a month for my insurance. she is going to start travel nursing soon and will be making like $5k-7k/week. I just do shipt and instacart, and take care of our home/cook/grocery shop/take care of our pets and all that shit.

>>17521384
My uncle works for amazon

>>17516872
what is the safest food possible that still tastes good? because ive been digestively fucked for a long time now. im surrounded by people who largely live an exclusively carbs+dairy diet when im lactose intolerant also i think im sensitive to acidic shit because i had some tomato soup and it fucked me up for days. beans also fuck me up bad too.
I am basically always in a range of subtly bloated to severely bloated&constipated with severe indigestion.

I just want to feel like I did when I was younger again. every meal is fucking miserable for me because i know I'm gonna wind up fucked to some degree.

>>17521467
broccoli is pretty safe
take a probiotic

>>17521467
Look up low fodmap, the beans thing and lactose are both hinting that it might help you. You can't conclude anything from the tomato soup because it probably has garlic or onion plus who knows what else in it, too much to isolate, the good news though is there's no reason to assume that tomatoes are an issue for you yet.

If you want to feel good fast and figure out if diet helps, choose a meat, and a low fodmap starch and veg you like (I did chicken rice and carrots), cook it however you like but with only olive oil, salt and pepper. I did roasting and it was tasty. Eat nothing else for a little bit, if a food sensitivity is your issue (and you're not so unlucky that one of the 3 was one) you will probably feel completely normal within a week of this.
Then, just add new shit in every day, starting with low fodmap stuff first. Log what you eat. If you find something that bothers you allow for like 3 days to recover and then test more. If you're lucky it'll turn out you're only sensitive to a few things, but at the very least you should quickly establish a decent list of foods that are totally safe to eat. Tasty isn't too hard if you cook from scratch since meat, fat, salt, sugar, starch, most acid and lactose-free dairy (including hard cheese) is almost always safe, but pray that garlic and onion isn't a problem for you, because it frequently is.

>>17521625
What does low foodmap mean

>>17521467
Try a strict low-fodmap diet for a week and see what happens. It might look hard at first because there are a lot of ingredients you need to avoid, but you can just find three or four recipes that are safe and stick with them for a bit.

It is basically impossible to tell what your problem is without deliberate testing because random ingredients can be in anything and symptoms can occur 2-48 hours later. I thought I had a bunch of grain intollerances and it was actually onions (onions or onion powder are in a ton of recipes).

Taking a fiber supplement (metamucil) will keep your shits normal even when you fuck up and reduce the syptoms somewhat.

If you have health insurance see if dieticians are covered and get one who specializes in IBS. I tried to tough it out for two years but its just not possible, gut problems can completely fuck your life.

>>17521658
Oops already been posted

>>17521650
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FODMAP

>feel like my ass it going to explode
>drive another hour to get home
>explosive little poo into the toilet
>take a look in the toilet
>very little poo
what causes this?

>>17522176
Three times in the last hour. Can coffee and nicotine alone do this?

>>17522263
Coffee can. Somehow it causes peristalsis making you need to defecate.

GERD is such a nightmare. Trying to sleep during an episode without any antacids is fucking torturous. I ate my last meal at 9am yesterday and was up the entire fucking night waking up with constant burning. If I lie on my right side it's like the acid just pours freely out of my stomach, and on my left side it comes out in bursts. Even when I fast for long periods of time, I get acid reflux. I fucking hate this shit. I'd see a doctor but I live in freedom land and I don't feel like paying 50,000 dollars for a doctor to prescribe me an antacid.

>>17522176
Diets not making poo thick enough to allow the decompositional gases to vent past it it. Effectively turning your keister into a cannon.

>>17522263
Is it yellowish and smells/looks like bile?

just made an appointment with my doc because I look pregnant any time I do not eat like a Jewish mouse. the other day I drank water and my stomach started bloating and hurting. Probiotics and fiber and laxatives do nothing.

>>17522304
good luck anon, I have the same problem

>>17522287
get a job at starbucks lol
how do you not have insurance unless you're a neet

>>17522294
it's yellowish. all poo is bile i thought, so yes?

>>17522293
wouldn't thicker poo be harder to let gas through? i don't get it

>>17522325
Even with insurance you still have premiums my dude, and im self employed so I don't get free insurance

>>17522308
Godspeed. I am gonna try the enzymes as poster above suggested.

>>17518253
You can spice things up and make a fairly tasty drink. Try mixing the ACV with equal parts raw honey (I like the Nature Nate's brand), and adding cayenne, cinnamon, and/or nutmeg, while diluting with water to the desired degree. Aside from the sugar this adds some more potential health benefits, too.

>>17521316
Nice. Do you make your own? It's easy and rewarding. Anons should consider kefir as well.

>>17516872
My poops look soft and regular but a lot of the time it takes too long to poop out so I end up sitting on the toilet for an hour.

Anyone know this feel?

>>17522176
lbs of rotting fecal matter are still inside you

>>17522329
I think it's that when you have good consistency your ass can open a little to vent gasses and gasses alone, but when it's too watery it has to keep sealed up tight so you end up with much higher pressures than you normally would.

>>17516872
Take a probiotic like acidophilus, manage your stress, try not to exist purely on dairy alcohol or the sugary jew.

>last regret
bfe gas station fish filet and chicken wing. It only gave me like 30 minutes of cold sweats the next day.

>>17522533
I have that in my yogurt every morning but I think my poop problems have turned bad the moment I first ate that yogurt.

I currently still eat it but unsure if it is helping.

>>17522533
>gas station fish filet
why would you do this to yourself, what gas station even sells fish filet

>>17521285
I'm sure the doctor will at least get your male gender right when he's doing your autopsy

>>17522615
when i'm through with you you'll be posting in /dtg/ about your colostomy bag, manlet

>>17522287
hey anon, you can get esomeprazole (nexium), dexlansoprazole (dexilant), omeprazole (prilosec), pantoprazole(protonix), rabeprazole (aciphex), or Baclofen (lioresal) shipped to the USA using inhousepharmacy.vu

I can confirm it's legit and the products work because i'm a tranny and i've also bought products for my (now ex) bf's nerve pain.

Don't worry, you won't be in any legal risk as long as you don't buy more than 3 months worth of product at a time. I don't know which product will fit your situation best, so do your own research. And never say a tranny didn't help you ;)

>>17516872
When I went keto my acid reflux stopped. If I eat a meal heavy in carbs it comes right back though.

>>17516872
My dad got esophageal cancer. One day his throat closed up and he was no longer able to swallow, food would just pile up at the opening of his stomach and a surgeon would have to vacuum it out. He got put on liquid diet and died a few months later. A slow, miserable death.

Don't smoke bros. Avoid microplastics, teflon and all the other cancer causing bullshit we consume. If you have acid reflux, try your best to treat it. The doctor said that his cancer was likely from acid reflux damaging the tissue of his esophagus over time.

>>17519316
>this actually happened to me in elementary school
>turns out I had debilitating ulcers

Hi, I've been pooping lots this morning. Poop appears healthy but extreme high volume, pooped 3x since I woke up and don't feel totally empty. I have scoliosis and difficulty clearing my bowel.

>>17522728
buy a squatty potty

should i eat even if i dont really completely feel the need to because my body is still bloated/trying to digest something from the other day? would that help stimulate things or just make it worse

Been noticing mucus and blood at the very end of my poops. Wiped asshole and had some blood on the paper. I have a doctors appointment for next monday. Man I really dont want them touching or sticking anything up my asshole. Anybody here dealt with this before?

I drink about a point of vodka a night, idk if its related

>>17522986
I think it's abrasion from the TP

>>17522986
Unsure about the blood but the mucus certainly could be from alcohol irritating the intestines. Cut it out or at least cut down.

On most mornings I have stomach pain, and gas. After getting up it gets better after 15 mins. Do I need to start excluding ingredients to figure out what’s causing it ?

>>17516876
5' 11" male
I can say at least with ulcerative colitis that weight has no effect. I've weighed from in the high 120's to 260 lbs. I've had bad times and good times at high and low weights.

Can SIBO cause persistent pain in the right side of the abdomen, below the ribs and above the hip?
The doctor told me it was probably a small intestine issue once but did fuck all about it.

>>17516872
This is literally all you need
If you're still taking (((antacids))) you are fucking retarded and deserve all the diseases you will develop as a result

>>17523015
How do I heal a hemorrhoid? I had one I think and I felt it aggravate when I was doing overhead press last week

>>17523205
give your asshole a tolerance break from cock

>>17521187
>pour it straight down the center of the glass
that just makes foam
does drinking beer out of a glass really put less CO2 in your body than drinking out of a can? I can see shotgunning a beer doing that but if the can's open just as much gas can escape as when it's in a glass.
Also the one and only time I shotgunned a beer was one of the very few times I belched without throwing up, it felt great but it just a reflexive thing I didn't have control over
>>17521220
Wine is usually my go to choice because it's less gassy but when you're drinking with the boys it's hard to be the only one without a beer, also it gives me worse hangovers

>>17523229
Im 27 and never kissed a girl

>>17523238
>does drinking beer out of a glass really put less CO2 in your body than drinking out of a can?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StMMa8uR2-0
The can hisses when you crack it open but besides that it's very smooth inside so bubbles won't form until it's in your mouth.

>>17523261
How is that an excuse? Lay off the cock and let your asshole heal

>>17523238
Try a nice golden mead. Mead is associated with old timey raping and pillaging so it's quite manly

>>17523238
>when you're drinking with the boys it's hard to be the only one without a beer
Fragile masculinity

>>17523491
Fascinating. I will start drinking out of glasses more then.
>>17523689
Mead is not very good imo
>>17523707
dude I am already plagued by chronic flatulence, might as well not jeopardize my social standing even more

>>17521273
I had to have a colonoscopy (They basically gave up after that, said I have IBS and called it a day), and between the fentanyl high and the first food I'd eaten in 48hrs, I think I can say I ate the best Tuna Sandwich of my life afterwards. I don't think any food has tasted better. White bread, real good butter, good mayo-tuna ratio with a lettuce leaf and tomato slice. Holy fucking shit it was incredible.

>>17518362
you can make sauerkraut yourself its easy as fuck, also nice advice anon

>>17523949
chronic flatulence is masculine

>>17520490
Elaborate.

>>17524136
it makes your semen taste good

>>17523205
Sit in some warm water for a little while and it should help with the butthurt. Apply a little bit of hemmorhoid cream every now and then. Eat more fiber and keep the poopa clean with wipes, bidet, warm water etc.

>>17524146
What if my butt doesn't hurt, I've just got weird lump

>>17522700
Who tf gets ulcers in elementary school

I've been dealing with GERD and bad bowel movements and sore throat. Here's what works.
1. Stop antacids, take AC Vinegar, or Digestive enzymes. Google ACV for GERD or 'Stan Efferding acid reflux' for more.
2. Get more fiber, vegetables, Metamucil and whole grains
3. Google Low FODMAP foods and stick to those
4. Avoid too much milk, and refined vegetable oils
5. Get a squatty potty and a bidet for those shits

>>17519316
Doctors never take me seriously either. I think they see a history of mental illness and SSRIs and assume I'm completely nuts and just making everything up. I don't know what to do in this situation, visit a different doctor and pay more co-pays that insurance may deny due to the repeat visits? Most doctors are so overworked they dismiss anything that might be hypochondria immediately and never investigate or follow up.

Whats the most fart producing food?

>>17526184
Beans, beans, the musical fruit
The more you eat, the more you toot

>>17526434
The bean fart is a myth desu. I literally eat beans every day and I feel like I fart an average amount

>>17526184
for me it's apples, mandarin oranges and blue M&Ms

bean flatulence is a meme and a falseflag

>been shitting my brains out and having major headaches/migraines for the last two weeks
>realized the cheese I was eating every day for lunch expired 18 months ago
I usually only throw out cheese if its moldy but this cheese looked fine so I kept eating it. Todays my first day without eating expired cheese wish me luck lads.

>>17526738
>zer doesn’t know what fiber is

>>17527069
the cheese is making you retarded

>>17527069
>>17527080
blue cheese dressing of the sort served with chicken tendies makes me bloated and shit my brains out :(

>>17526999
Why only blue m&ms? How did you even identify tht it was only the blue ones?

>>17527282
i can just tell

>>17522506
No one else has constipated diarrhea?

>>17527839
buy a squatty potty

>>17527852
Sometimes it helps but other times I am just stuck on the toilet with nothing coming out. I spent 2 hours on the toilet this morning because I had messy poop and had to make sure everything came out.

>>17516872
Why does the figure in your illustration have a wiener for an ass?

>>17528354
take fiber supplements? Metamucil?

>>17516872

>use to have healthy digestion
>a while ago decided i wanted to get fit
>started doing more crunches and other exercises
>now im constantly constipated, stomach is constantly gurgling, feel bloated

I dont fucking understand, and Im not eating right before a workout or anything either. I am giving it time.

>>17528402
drink motr water

>>17528412
i already drink a lot, my pee is fine

>>17528402
Same here, I thought working out would make my digestion better but somehow it got much worse. Went to the doc to investigate IBS symptoms (bloating/abdominal pain mostly) and he simply said I should exercise more. Sure, I was a little constipated before, but it's gotten ridiculous. One of these days I had to deny sex to my own fucking wife because I genuinely worried I wouldn't be able to stop farting during the act. The noises my guts make are really loud and embarassing too. I'm more gas than man at this point.

>>17528402
Someone please fucking help me. I am always on a range of bloated to severe life ruining constipation. My stomach is constantly making sloshing gurgling growling noises ALL DAY EVERYDAY. I cant even fucking sleep at night because of the noise and discomfort.

When I puff out my stomach in and out really fast it makes the most horrid sloshing grinding noise I've ever heard in my life

Anyone have any experience with Jeera water (cumin water)?

>>17528767
i just try to catch it as i ejaculate, tastes fine i have no desire to add water

>>17528655
beno
there will beno gas

>>17528809
kek

>>17528767
if it doesn't taste right you should switch up your diet. i've heard pineapple makes it sweeter

>>17516872
sounds to me like you have IBS.

>>17528643
Please tell me your exact diet so I can reproduce this on my wife

I hate oatmeal, so how can I get some wetter/pastier poop? I'm fine with pooping solid but I think it doesn't feel as comfortable and warm in the diaper as let's say diarrhea, it doesn't smell as much

>>17516872
I poop every single morning at exactly the same time. Except for the past few days. I haven't pooped in over 72 hours. I feel completely fine, but will I explode? I haven't even changed my diet recently, but for the past two months I've been dieting and cutting back on alcohol.

>>17529238
your body is catching up on the lost poop from you eating less, like leap year but in reverse

>>17528655
stop eating food until you become too weak to stand. hard reset your metabolism.

>>17529174
based

>>17517458
I had gastritis from GERD a decade ago. A decade later it has resurfaced as an ulcer that refuses to heal. Apnea and reflux have really hurt the upper portion of my stomach lining. Don't fuck around with this. Get a food based solution in place and stick with it.

>>17529164
IBS is a blanket term for those symptoms.
what's your point?

>>17530214
You need to stick 3-5 full sized marshmallows up your bootyhole to make it go away. Not permanent unfortunately, you'll probably have to do it once every 2 months or so but it's worth it

>tfw stop smoking weed
Got dat dere gastroparesis aka guts on lag
Is there some other herbal remedies here?

metabolism chads, rise up and laugh at the weak anons in this thread

>>17529174
ngl, you'd make a fine pupil

>>17528402
Tell me your exact diet.
If you do not have a food diary of what yoi eat everyday and portion size then you are not going to fix the problem.

I was told to eat about and ounce of broccoli a day for a week to cure my stomach ulcer. It seemed to work for me

Been eating kimchi and taking probiotics since I was on antibiotics. Been shitting pretty consistently for the past 6 months or so. My diet consists of a lot of “funky”foods. I like eating entire garlic cloves, raw onion, kimchi on tuna, vinegar etc. my gut seems healthiest when I eat like that.

Had bad diarrhea last night from some terrible fried chicken.

I always cough after eatting with a lot of phlegm. I also have the sudden need to shit during/after eatting. What's wrong with me.

>>17531640
>eating whole/fermented foods is good for your body
never woulda guessed it until you tried it chief.

>>17531711
Sometimes I say stupid things

>cant drink juice cause it produces acid and acid leads to arthritis.
ok
>cant drink too much bottled water cause it could produce to much alkaline and get rid of the little natural acid that your body produces.
what the hell am i supposed to drink then? raw petrol??

>>17531945
Read about the benefits of cherry juice and gout

>>17531710
Shitting after eating is normal. Phlegm could be being caused by excess dairy

>>17532109
>no mayo
>no milk
>no cheese
>no butter
>no macaroni pie or salad
>no potato salad

why the fuck does all the good tasting shit have so many negative effects

>>17532132
Because your body wasn't built to consume breast milk in your 30s

>>17532132
You're supposed to enjoy it in moderation.

>>17532148
>moderations implies diversity of options
>apart from tuna & pb&j (sometimes sausage) dairy is all i have for breakfast, lunch, sometimes dinner

this is hell, and i want out. what substitutes would you recommend?

Does prune juice actually help?
I think I have a partial blockage guys

>>17520352
Yoga. There is a physical component to your digestive system that another pill cannot affect

>>17533681
I'll second this. Used to have really bad bloating issues but yoga helps a lot.

>>17533243
yeah 8 ounces of that will have you moving there

i had constipation for the first time ever last week. was a solid 1 on the bristol chart for the entire week. it was uncomfortable.

then i remembered seeing videos of people who had used picrel so i figured i'd give it a try. the bottle said bowel movement within 0.5 to 6 hours. didn't really notice a difference except i felt pretty bloated before going to sleep. the next morning i went to sit in my chair and i felt the discomfort immediately, i knew it was time. i went to the bathroom and within a minute i was crowning. the big hard turd emerged and almost popped out of my ass like a cork in a wine bottle, followed by the relief of pudding flowing out immediately afterwards. it was truly enlightening.

i was in such a good mood afterwards. i have been working from home for the past 2 years and monday was one of the most productive days i've had in a while. highly recommend. this stuff tastes pretty good as well, lots of citric acid so it's actually quite tangy.

be warned though, it pulls water to your bowels so waking up the next morning my eyes and mouth were dry as fuck so stay hydrated.

>>17516872
>I have indigestion from time to time, so i was hoping by centralizing this into one topic we can form a base of knowledge and improve our lives

I had the worst goddamn GERD for two months. Just fucking terrible, it felt like my throat and chest were on fire, I'd get these horrible esophagus spasms, and I couldn't do anything to stop it. Drugs didn't work, the doctor couldn't fix it, eating an ultra plain low calorie diet didn't fix it.

Then I switched up psychiatric medications and haven't had any problems since. Unfortunately, I don't remember which medication it was that caused it because I've been on so many.

>>17534581
I went nearly 2 weeks and tried everything. Was walking around Walmart when it finally came out. Biggest shit of my life. Absolutely destroyed the toilet and flooded the bathroom. Ran outta the place as fast as I could. Always felt bad for whoever had to clean that up.

going to doctor today boys wish me luck

>>17531640
I should look into ki’chi. Do you make it yourself?
>>17534581
I got some of that in pill form. I heard it is really good but I am not sure if it is good for a daily thing.

>>17534581
This is usually a last ditch option as it's essentially going nuclear which for just random constipation is a bit much. At the very least try suppositories first. Save your asshole some recovery time

>>17534853
Bottle says relief of occasional constipation and I had occasional constipation. Seems like a no brainer to me. It's a simple osmotic laxative, no different than restoralax in terms of how it functions. wasn't too keen on shoving things up my already uncomfortable bowel.

>>17534708
good luck anon

Poop bros I ate 1.75 pizzas today and now I am suffering the effects with constipation.

Do I take the magnesium citrate pill? I am also experiencing a little heartburn still.

>>17535979
Pizza is greasy so it can cause serious heartburn

>>17535989
Remind me to never do this again.

>>17536014
i dont youll take said reminder seriously though

>>17536100
Yes I will. Next time you will stop me and throw out the pizza before I can eat it.

>>17536100
doubt*

Finally a thread for me

I've had chronic nausea and gut cramping as long as I can remember. Tried all kinds of stuff to combat it with no luck. It's debilitating and I hate it. Tried all kinds of eliminations and meds with no luck

Sonic sells bags of their crushed ice and it's my savior when having a stomach attack

>>17536221
have you tried slurping semen?

>>17531945
Mix juice and water, fixed.

>>17528402
>>17528643
Go back to your normal normal pre-fit diet.

>>17536100
>devil may cry
what a chad
>>17536846
the /fit/ life is what seems to have caused all of their problems. none of those anons mentioned diet changes.

>>17516872
I have dealt with lifelong flatulence, as had my mothers side of the family. Not sure why.

I saw this a couple days ago, thinking I wouldn't end up here. I'm staying with family currently. Had grouper, corn, and angel hair pasta with olive oil on it last night (yeah call it a shit meal, let's move on from that though). Also had some chocolate pudding for dessert. Well I only got a couple hours sleep before I felt pressure on my left side. Then I had pain but also felt like I had to pass gas. So I spent a few hours repeatedly squatting over the toilet, trying to pass gas and shit.
It's not as bad now, but I don't think I've passed everything through yet, and pressure has shifted to my right side. Anyone know of some foods/drinks that can help me handle this? Also any recommended meds?

>>17516872
Me and my dad had some expired beans last week and I was the one who made (in fact reheated) dinner that day. He asked me if I tasted something sour in the food, but I didn't feel anything out of the ordinary. A day later and I'm pissing trough my asshole all day long, maybe eleven times or so. Funny that it happened the only time in my life I didn't smell my food before eating. I learnt my lesson

>>17528402
>>17528655
Your diet is wrong, whatever fuck ass dino tendies tier shit it is

>>17537362
Did you put anything else in it like garlic, onions or something?

>>17537892
The olive oil had garlic extract in it.

>>17516872
Hey, an actually useful thread. I've been having incredibly bad pain in my upper left chest - sent me to the ER a few times thinking it was my heart, but that seems to be clear. Endoscopy came back all clear, thought I do have a hiatal hernia. Anyways, I have this awful, awful pain in my chest and the only thing that makes it feel better it getting gas out. The gas smells worse than any gas I've ever had in my life, and now I'm terrified it's gonna be my pancreas or gallbladder or something. Anyone have anything similar? All the stuff I see about gas pain is stock people of asshats clutching their stomach. Shit's exhausting, man.

>>17538222
Garlic makes me gassy. Maybe you got gassy too cause of it. Try plain oil next time.

>>17538242
You might just be eating something that upsets your stomach. I would create a food diary and start with only plain food like chicken rice and simple vegetables like carrots, peas or spinach.

no added spices. pain in the ass i know but this might be the only diy way to do it.

For the past week my stomach's felt bloated, or just gassy. The pain ranges from a dull discomfort in my belly on most days, to practically nausea on others.
Weird thing is it's been more difficult for me to pass gas or poop lately too. My stool is small, bean pod sized.

Can some armchair doctor diagnose me, or at least give me a set of foods to avoid? My visit today just resulted in getting labwork done, and no real clear info about what could be going on with my stomach.

Any idea why my system can eat fried eggs no problem, but if I eat scrambled I'm on the toilet dying for hours and hours with the worst fucking pain??

>>17536963
>>17537884
its not a diet issue

>>17540511
Are you using dairy in the scrambled eggs? That might be the problem (I'm assuming you fry eggs in oil.)

>>17540515
I've tried making them just on their own, then with a splash of milk, got crippling sick after. Even a few slices of french toast gutted me like wtf

>>17540514
How can you tell? Either that or something along your intestines are fucked.

>regularly have loose, greasy, choppy shits
>replace my breakfast with kefir muesli and fresh fruit
>shits become healthier, more regular, and less wet
Thank you muesli

>>17541110
Is muesli just oats?

And what fruits do you usually eat?

Look up the AIP diet, take a zinc supplement for a month, consider goat colostrum in powdered form and a daily NAC supplement. The integrity of your intestinal walls may thank you later

>>17541653
Goat colostrum powder is pretty expensive, dunno if that's just my shit location though. Any alternatives?

who /flaxpilled/ here

Taking 2 tablespoons of ground flax a day and it's helped calm down some of the inflammation in my guts

>>17526894

>>17544719
Diet yesterday
>greek yogurt with nuts and cranberries and a peach
>plus chips

Lunch
Ground turkey
Spinach

Dinner
A pizza
A nectarine

My poop is coming out like small snakes. And not all are coming clumped together. I think my pizza did me in.

>>17545406
My parents keep buying me stuff that irritates my poop problems.

I am going to try to rush this other pizzas in the freezer and then start a new diet.

bumping this thread because my belly feels funny

>>17548162
I've been like shitting out chunks of food today and I'm kinda confused because I don't remember eating spinach

>>17516872
i dont want to start thinking about my organs, because then they will start thinking about me

>>17516872
as if i would ever tell you that you sick fuck, why dont you go kill soem more babies you fuckking retard

>>17548475
:(

I've had sticky poops for the last few months bros, what to do? Feels like I've tried everything

>>17548514
my bad, sorry i didnt mean it

>>17548516
Me too.
The closest I had to a good poop was when I had pears and a lot of vegetables like spinach and carrots plus fruit like pineapples in my diet. But my poops were stll constipated.

How is it that I can eat cheese and yogurt with no problem but I have a bowl of cereal in milk for breakfast I have insane stomach bloating all day? Is it possible to be intolerant to milk specifically?

>>17541653
>consider goat colostrum in powdered
Thanks for putting out info about goat colostrum, never heard about it, simply the milk from earliest lactation after birth containing everything the baby needs for a strong immune system. Nature is fascinating, God is great. I'm going to try to find some fresh colostrum from a local farmer.

I had my gall bladder surgically removed last week. It was full of gall stones. Caused me bouts of hours long crippling agony. I feel fine. Shits seem ok so far.

>>17549708
Low fat diet?

>>17549528
There's sugars in milk that aren't present in fermented dairy like yogurt or cheese, those are what you'll be intolerant to specifically.

>>17549713
From now on? Not really. They said I'd be able to eat as before except for going easy on the very fattest of meals, such as our traditional Christmas foods. I'll know more after some more months.

>>17516872
Fresh garlic gives me bad bloating
does anyone know how to prevent it?

>>17529238
Try half a dose (half a cap) of Mirolax. Didn't poo for 4 days after spraining my back and my doc suggested this. Set me right but after 2 days. No cramping/diarrhea either just went in the morning like I normally do.

>>17549869
Eat stale garlic instead

>>17549528
I'm similar, I think it is because milk has way more lactose than yogurt or cheese.

>>17549746
Plain yogurt only has about 25% less lactose than fresh milk. But the bacteria which break down the lactose actually survive going through your stomach acid so they continue to break down the lactose during digestion too. Pretty interesting.

>>17550404
Does that mean if I eat some yogurt when I drink milk it will reduce the bloating from drinking milk?

>>17550454
Taking Lactase enzymes would probably be more reliable.

what vitamins can help, if any? I already take Vitamin D and Zinc anyway for other reasons, I get horrific stomach acid problems from time to time (especially from alcohol) though and would love anything that would help

>>17516872
Well this thread is for me, I have the worst reflux my gastroenterologist and surgeon have seen in pH studies, I've had two surgeries one a Linx fundoplication which failed and had to be removed and replaced with the other a Nissen Fundoplication which 7 months later is now causing me the worst feelings ever, bloating constant burping, high pressure feeling, painful hiccups, going to have this surgery reversed next month. Life sucks, it's painful, and I shouldn't have gotten the surgeries I should've just tried hard to fix my diet. Medication didn't work btw. Though I am the rare 5% which surgery doesn't work for them, but still, I went in too fast.

>>17550542
Even in the modern day surgery is still horrifying butchery, which is why it scares me when people are willing to do it as anything other than a last resort. Sorry you got unlucky anon.

>>17550404
It's kind of weird that this works, seeing as how it generally takes 24 hours to ferment all the lactose out of yogurt under ideal conditions. Meanwhile, the lactobacilli in your stomach have other shit to deal with and they might or might not bother to help you out. In my case yogurt is still a no go but then my gut's kind of fucked up, even lactaid pills only work halfway. Lactose-free milk is still safe thankfully, as is hard cheese. I could never give up dairy products I like cheese butter and milk too much

Its 8:30pm and I still haven't made doody today

>reflux

4 years ago I had Linx surgery and this shit cured my hiatal hernia and reflux, I never took PPIs since the surgery.
I occasionally take some anti acid syrup if I eat shit but apart from that I’ve become a normal person. I’m happy.

>>17523115
But I don't want my teeth being bathed in acid.

>>17551707
But how does the food get in?

>>17551993
The ring is magnetic, when you swallow the bolus of chewed food pushing down makes it open and once it has passed it closes.
It’s not like having a 100% “natural” esophagus because if you swallow dry food not properly chewed (like a big bite of chewy bread or focaccia) it can get “stuck” and give you some mild pain as it tries to pass through.
You need to properly chew everything aka avoid eating like a pig, that’s the only thing you need to change but it’s an acceptable drawback considered the immense benefits.

>>17524778
Kek seriously

>>17527282
Dont ask questions you dont want the answers to, it's better if you just dont know.

>>17516872
I wrote an essay earlier today comparing cognition to digestion. here I will post it

"I want to think about ways that the workings of Mind and Thought might be mapped to and brought into analogical relation with the biological processes of ingestion, digestion, and excretion—beyond mere notions of “input/output.”
First to the food or meat. This is raw sensation or unprocessed data, sought out and hunted down by the Nose, the Hands, the Eyes. It is brought up to Mouth, the oral/cranial Cavity which serves as point of egress and site of consumption.
Teeth are words, some blunt some incisive, a set of living bones and received wisdoms (prone to irregularity, discoloration, shifting, and decay), with which we have been endowed to tear, grind, and chew the whole sensation into its component parts, reassembled by the Salivary function (Desire) into a softened mass or Bolus suitable for Tasting on the tongue of emotion and swallowing via the spasmodic impulse or downward thrust (force of will)
Here our food enters the deep intestinal labyrinth, that Unconscious interior wherein the involuntary act of Digestion takes place, disintegrating the received sensation on its molecular level, extracting through various enzymatic processes the nutritive psychic materials that enliven the whole man, and expelling the nonessential elements as waste.
And here, distasteful as it may seem, we are forced to draw comparison between creative output and that of excretion. The analogy, perhaps, does not hold insofar as the creative act often generates or possesses beautiful qualities while the defecatory rarely does; both, however, do require effort, hold perverse fascinations, and can be indicative of one’s general health—whether physical or psychic.

>quit drinking for lent
>great shits
It's that easy

>>17537362
Did you swallow a fish bone?

>>17552277
you sound so romantic

>>17517768
Not to sound jaded but many doctors, certainly not all, are there to prescribe pills and get you into cogs of medicine and pharma. I've certainly experienced this myself.

Once again, I stress that not all doctors partake in this behavior, but many do

>t PhD chemist

>>17520352
>>17521156
>>17521348
>>17522986
I used to have poor, infrequent bowel movements. Pooping was such a chore, I'd have to sit and push my brains out. I developed anal fissures bas a result and would see blood on my toilet paper.

I started taking psyllium husk fiber and that entire problem went away. I hate the taste of metamucil, but it works really well. Off brand psyllium husk fiber works just bas well.

Hope the best for you guys

>>17553156
100% accurate. I can't tell you how many times I've seen a psychiatrist and they try to push ssris on me when we've just met and they don't know anything about me

>>17553185
sounds like you are avoiding any sort of fiber in your diet

>>17516876
step 2: fiber supplement

>>17553156
take meds schizo

>>17553454
I dont eat fiber (well besides walnuts) and have the best poos in my life

>>17553147
I've been reading Schleiermacher who's a romantic-era philosopher so that's why lol

>>17516872
Go buy or pirate the book Super Gut and read/listen to it. You likely have mild SIBO from a combination of shit diet and pesticides/herbicides/over use of preservatives/emulsifiers in food.