/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>17485385
Impress her? No thanks. But I'll have a double of Tully please

Oh wow this epic thread again!

I’d order a glass of water, and have her refill it like 19 times, and leave no tip roflmao xD

water? i don't drink alcohol

>>17485385
Gin and cola, no gin. also a empty cup so I can fart on it and smell my own farts

>>17485385
I take swigs from my flask while staring at her ass

>>17485385
>super short sleeves
If the bar has one of those glass racks over the bartop for stemware, I’d order a dirty martini or some other drink requiring a stemmed glass while my phone is conveniently recording at 4K/60fps so I can later pull still images from the video and add them to my massive collection of personal armpit/feet/yogapantsass creepshots.

>>17485385
can I have a roo beer with with killua cream and vodka?

>>17485385
>A glass of water, with ice please

>>17485385
The same thing I usually order, I don't care what she thinks about me

I'm the one paying her bills so I'll order whatever the fuck I want.

>>17485470
>>17485445
Which are?

gin old fashioned

>>17485385
a glass of everclear

>>17485385
I'm into men, so I would order what I'd typically order, a dirty vodka martini or a glass of sparkling white wine

>>17485500

Ask her whats on tap. If they have hard cider I'll go for that.

>>17485385
I ask her what her ethnicity is, then casually say ‘I like my liquor like my women, at least 97% pure’, then turn 360 and moonwalk out.

>>17485385
white russian, with human milk

>>17485385
I like a moscow mule, might just ask for a rum, ginger beer and lime at the moment though.

Had a great rosemary and port based cocktail recently though.

>>17485385
Pint of cider. If she wants to judge let her judge.

>>17485385
Only tangentially related to the OP, but I've just moved to Sydney and I find a huge proportion of the waiters and bartenders are obnoxiously snobby -- and I'm an Oxbridge-educated Brit. The other day, I had one pull a face at me for asking him to serve my screwdriver in a highball rather than a tumbler. Wasn't even a particularly nice bar.

Anyone else live in Sydney and have this experience? I thought the British had a controlling interest in low-level snobbery.

>>17485645
makes sense to me, australians are just bongs with criminal records

>>17485385
Impress her?
I don’t even know her?
>shirely temple

>>17485438
Based

she works at a bar lol, why would i care about impressing some wagie?

>>17485385
bash her head in with my louisville slugger
bash her head in with my louisville slugger
bash her head in with my louisville slugger
bash her head in with my louisville slugger

>>17485385
SME complicated labour intensive cocktail and no tip

>>17485385
a snobby service worker? if she's older than college aged, she's a terminal loser working a dead-end job, while smart women her age are sitting on their ass "working" from home in their pajamas for six-figure salaries. she has nothing to be pompous about.

>>17485709
and yet waiters and bartenders are often snobby in the extreme.

>>17485385
lemon lime and bitters

>>17485719
it's face saving, a defense mechanism. they're bitter and unhappy because they're working a dead-end low status gig. most of them have drug and alcohol issues and they're all dumb as shit. service industry is typically working nights and sleeping all morning when peers are actually at real jobs. they quit college because they were so unmotivated. they're losers.

>>17485736
no shit.

>>17485385
What IPA's do you have available?

>>17485385
Is that Ryan from Oddity's wife?

>>17485385
Gin fizz

>>17485385
cant condemn an old fashioned.. either that or a singapore sling at the least since its such a bitch to make if they dont have the ingredients i can make them feel shit

>>17485385
Pepsi milk on the rocks

Johnny Walker Blue and Diet Pepsi, touch of lime.

>>17485830
kek'd

I follow her home after her shift and forcibly make love to her.

>>17485438
Never even kissed a female, have you?

>>17485385
Knob Creek neat, two fingers

>>17485830
> pepsi
> walker
Would you like a mimosa to go with that, little girl?

>>17485385
Dirty gin martini, dont be stingy with the olives.

>>17485846
That seems like a weird notion to leap to, anon. We aren’t all awkward 15-25yo’s.
Currently engaged, she has fantastic feet and armpits, and her ass is… well it’s Japanese.

>>17485385
I will have a water with lemon and make small talk by guessing which country she has obviously tattooed on her arm.

After she has become putty in my hand I will simply reel her in with promises of oral sex but only if she doesnt have a gag reflex

>>17485913

>>17485385
Corona with lime. I drink what I like. Idgaf about her opinion. If she judges, she gets no tip. I hold all the cards in this relationship.

>>17485425
>her

>>17485934
Leave, tourist. You don't want to be here.

>>17485385
Bourbon, made her way.

>>17485385
Imagine caring what a glorified bottle opener thinks of you lol.

a lonestar and a shot of whiskey

>>17485978
This site is full of autists who worry about the pettiest thing. I'm not surprised they're afraid to leave the house. Self involved mother fuckers think the whole world is thinking about them when in reality they take one glance at them go eww and never look at them again

>>17485408
you'd at least order something to drink though, right?

pfffft, I don't drink at bars

>>17485490
a shirley temple and a pina colata

>>17485983
What do you mean by that?

>>17485749
we have guiness, Mike's, and pilsner

>>17485934
I don’t get it.
Are you gay or something?

>>17485385
>make me your favorite drink with this

>>17485385
i leave and go to the friendly local pub, smash a $4 schooner and watch the cricket
if i'm really broke i just get a goonbag and do picrel

>>17486024
truly the shogun of bogan

>>17486024
>>17486043
I'd also like to point out that any shitty sloppa curry I make I refer to as "bogan josh"

>>17485385
their well whiskey straight, then drink it in one gulp while looking her right in the eye

>>17485998
The fact you don't understand proves my point.

>>17485385
A Ramos gin fizz followed by a mint julep with a mezcal float on top

Fuck you snob

>>17485385
one Tom Collins, milady

>>17485645
>can't handle the bantz
go back to bongistan fag

>>17486177
at no point was I offered bantz.

>>17486177
T. Triggered Kangaroo

>>17485645
Thats not a Sydney thing thats a douchebag bartender thing.

>>17485385
if shes a bitch she doesnt get tipped
Idgaf what she thinks about my whiskey sour, craft lager, then 3 mid shelf bourbons on the rocks, in that order.

I'll take rumple and make it a double

>>17486202
shut the fuck up ausfag

>>17486216
whats the matter bro, did your gf get railed by an aussie or something?

>>17486253
No.
But my mom did.
And I had to hear every bit of it because her bedroom was directly below mine.
Fucking degenerate classless heathen taking advantage of her like that.

>>17485385
Strawberry milk

Gamer girl piss

>>17485385
give me a red bull and a jagermeister I guess

>>17485506
Jesus you ARE into men

>>17485986
A beer so she doesnt get the order wrong.

>>17486380
oh sweet, naive anon.

>>17485385
Moscow mule.

>>17485948

>>17485846
>touching a girl
keep that nasty shit out of here.

Whiskey Sour. And I'm not sleeping with her so what do I care if she judges me? Just make the fucking drink.

>>17485385
Crown and come and I really couldn't give a shit what a bartender thinks

Water, coffee, the most ordinary beer on the list.

I hate these types of places and the people who run them.

>>17485385
>bartender
>she so cute
>look half asian hapa
>eye contact
>smile
>i'd like a rye manhatten
>she smiles
>before she rattles off 6 hipster ryes to try
>"you can pick the the best one for me"
>we both smile
>watch her make my drink
>she is so sexy.. damn
>eye contact
>smile
>she say luxardo cherries the best
>we both nod in agreement
>again we both smile
>pay for drink
>do you want to open a tab?
>she smile
>she is so pretty, looks hapa to me
>she's half my age
>decline the tab and walk back to my table
>sit down sigh
>sip my drink
>those cherries really are fuckin good
>smile
>stare at wife think about hapa bartender

>>17485385
yeah uh can I get uhhh sex on the beach *winks*

pabst blue ribbon and no i'm not tipping her for opening a fucking can

>>17486595
sorry bro but she just wants a, not the, tip

>>17486678
I'm confused: are you talking about my dick or someone else's?

>>17486671
Why the hell would you go to a bar for Pabst? Buy a thirty-nine pack and get blitzed at home, hillbilly.

I order a salty dog then lick the salty rim while maintaining eye contact.

>>17486595
its their job to be friendly. if i had a dollar for every time someone thought the bartender was flirting with them id be a multi billionaire

>>17485385
Marskin ryyppy, ordering some obscure mongolian snaps should be enough to confuse most of these things.

>>17486848
either way you aren't getting any

>>17485385
chocolate milk with a curly straw

Why am I paying someone to pour a liquid into a glass? Should I pay someone to breathe air?

>>17485645
tbf oxford has an absolutely fucking abhorrent bar scene so you're probably not super immersed in what's good and what's not assuming you did most of your drinking in uni like most people

>>17487160
You could say this for any number of drinks, though.

>>17485385
whatever I feel like because I don't give a shit what she thinks
Chop chop wagie, get a real job if you're not happy

>>17485385
Double makers mark, neat

Meanwhile, tears are welling in my eyes out of nervousness

>>17485645
>he came to Sydney
>but still gives a shit about what anyone thinks
ngmi

>>17485385
I'll ask for a glass of her piss. Anything less than perfection is then on her.

>>17485404
>But I'll have a double of Tully please
FPBP

>>17485385
I want coffee

>>17486595
>>17486678
>>17487186
I know it's their job to flirt but also, every bartender I've ever known is a trashy whore and alcoholic who hates their life and dead-end job. so it's not exactly a stretch to get one to go home with you. just be a handsome chad or some six-figure nigga with a platinum amex. i mean seriously, this is a low-class dead-end job, it's not much different than pulling some barista at starbucks

>>17485736
>>17485719
sarcasm is used by immature and insecure people. "im just being funny and breaking balls, anon" no, you're painfully insecure and using sarcasm as a social crutch

>>17485385
someone else to serve me

>>17485709
This. I don't care how cocky they act, they know their job sucks and it is humiliating. I know some absolute retarded women who are nurses making over $75,000 plus full fringe to sit on their ass and surf the net 3 days a week at the hospital. or degreed whores making $100,000 to "work" from home writing emails and jumping on zoom calls. while these bar fly cunts have to work until 1am to 3am slaving away for drunk douchebags and flirt for tips

>>17488191
who are you quoting?

>>17489277
>how does 4chan work
>>>/r/eddit

Why the fuck would I want to impress a woman?
The fuck is wrong with this thread?

>>17489288
looks like you missed the address bar there, buddy

>>17489298
ok

>>17489310
just try again, you'll be fine.

>>17489315
>>>/r/eturn to where you came from

>>17489323
looks like you cocked it up again, buddy.

>>17485385
one glass of cunny please

50/50 Fernandito.
not even a female would be able to fuck that up.

>>17489373

>>17489405
you're still on 4channel my man.

Id>>17485385
I'd ask what kinds of xo cognac they carry, if they had one up to my standards I'd order it if not, I'd go home and drink good liquor.

>>17489526
yeah but that would require you to have standards

>>17485875
Is whisky and soda for children? I always thought that was for adults. Weird.

>>17489763
It’s a basic drink but not a bad one if you’re at a bar without good tenders

>>17486177
What is it with you felons spouting vile evil shit and then calling it a joke? This one Aussie who got fired for verbal harassment used to always call this black guy a stupid smelly coon and then IMMEDIATELY follow up with “just bantz m8, take a joke”

>>17485404
This except just whatever is cheapest on tap.

>>17489771
Good thing it’s what I want and not the tender, then.

>>17485941
>Falling for le epic marketing scheme

>>17489763
I thought there was a difference between "whisky and soda", and "whisky and soda pop".

>>17485385
>Oh no, /ck/.
>
>The bartender at this joint is notoriously snobby and will judge you for your drink order. What will you order to impress her?
I'm beyond the point of caring what some snobby bitch will think of me based on my drink order. She's not even white. Pale white blondes or gingers, blue or green eyes only for me, thanks. I know my worth.

>>17489277
I am using the quote function to parody the post made by the OP!

Russian vodka.

>>17485385
her breast milf

>>17485385
I'll just have a Guinness

>>17485385
Vodka water

>>17490046
Made by who?

>>17490243
I'm sure the Russians are devastated that people are dumping the vodka they already paid for instead of drinking it.

>>17485948

>>17490377
I doubt it, although I'm sure not buying anymore will be a problem in the future.

>>17486485
kek

>>17485385
guinness please
at least I don't have weird hair on my forearm bitch

>>17489780
sounds pretty based tbqh

>pint of lager, luv

>>17485385
Milkies straight from the udder

>>17485385
Uh lemme get a nigger whipper with a cotton picker twist, hold the floyd

>>17485645
have heard similar things about Sydney pretension

t. Pozburnian

>>17485385
I'll have a triple Don Julio tequila, neat

>>17485385
Even though it was said a million times, here is one more.


Order whatever you like and don't apologize for anything you do because what the hell is anyone's business what you order? You only get to live 80 years and only 30 of those are pleasant, if that, don't waste your time on other people's perception of you.


I'd order a mojito cause I love the taste.

half vodka half simple syrup

I'll have a glass of cunny juice

I'm intimidated, so I'll order a Fernet-Branca.

>>17485385
Aviation No. 1

>>17485385
>I don’t drink alcohol
>Refuses to elaborate further
>Leave

>>17485385
Order a drink you like and have a nice time

The point is to enjoy yourself, not to suck up to someone behind a bar. People have more respect for someone who is sure of themselves

>I don’t drink alcohol
>Refuses to elaborate further
>Leave

>>17486024
Based and top bloke-pilled

>>17489780
>t. doesn't understand witty banter
NGMI

one alcohol please

>>17485385
One bottle of lager and one tsingtao please.

>>17485385
SEX ON THE BEACH

>>17485385
water. i don't need to impress anybody other than myself

>>17491847
not witty at all. just stupid and mean spirited

>>17485385
one sexy spy man's drink, please, with extra feet

I haven't been allowed in bars since last September because of our vaccine passport faggotry. Fuck bars and fuck the government.

>>17485385
Virgin long island iced tea

>>17485385
Kristallweizen
eight of them
i dont care for her approval i need to get drunk

>>17485385
Lemonade with lemon vodka with an extra lemon on the side

No ice

Idk I can't see a beer menu. What did you think I was gonna order some faggy cocktail? Lmao

>>17492506
Stick to your guns, anon.
You're a good man.

before SJW touches my drink, I want her to make a gin & tonic. If the cunt doesn’t add the lime, I’m leaving. If she uses Canadian Dry or Schweppes, I’m leaving.

>>17489707
I bet you don't even know the difference between brandy and cognac, yet you talk about "standards" you pea brained fucking pleb. I'm drinking an xo right now while you wish you had enough cash for some old crow, fuck off!

>>17485875
>missing the joke
underage

>>17490243
AAHAHAHAHAHA
US market stoli isnt even made in russia or by a Russian company! A western group stole the trademark in a privatization scandal. They're pouring out Latvian vodka HAAHAHHAHAHA

>>17485385
Beer, one.

>>17485385
>impressing a wagie

just give me a beer and shut up

>>17485438
imagine you become so degenerate from a lack of human contact that you start jerking off to armpits

>>17492741
If you're autistic, you're leaving

One bloody mary please, I noticed you were a little bloated so I'm trying to make a joke about periods here.

A pint of Pabst and a shot of Jameson, fuck that snobby bitch.

>>17493728
It's bad enough that your brain thought this was something worth typing. Hopefully you have never said anything similar to it out loud

>>17493775
and a cranberry juice for my friend here

>>17486000
> 360° and moonwalk away

I don't give a shit what that wagie thinks. Jack and coke zero please.

>>17485385
I'll ask for her recommendation, then make a face and order a rum and coke

>>17485385
>female bartender
>gentlemans club
full retard

>>17493784
dirty 6th was my fucking home before the pandemic started. was there every weekend throwing back high lifes and high on white. actually, it's probably a good thing the pandemic happened. i'd still be doing coke weekly.
thanks for reading my blog

>>17493862
I miss 6th street. Moved back to my hometown in Florida and have missed it ever since.

>>17485566
The rum drink is called a dark n stormy. One of my faves.
>>17485385
>Whiskey water, please. With a lime wedge, please.
Then I tip 25%

>>17493782
lol

>>17485385
I order her to go away lol

>>17485989
>>17485983
This. Not only is it cheaper but I'm the only loud asshole and if anyone is going to ruin my fun time it will be ME

>>17493712
haha that would be crazy haha

>>17485385
>her

>>17485506
Then I have some good news for you. That's a man.

>>17486274

>>17485385
sex on the beach, and a smooth wink ;)

>>17486024
based and bogan pilled, haven't had a goon bender in a while. Gives the missus a gnarly hangover

>>17486678
>>17487186
Nah bros, you know when the bartender is into you. I've banged two bartenders who gave me their numbers at the end of the night. Powerful feeling

>>17489132
Conversely, the inability to spot sarcasm is a sign of autism.

If I'm at a bar and ordering it means I am with my brother, which means I am ordering something with a funny name anyway. Probably "Pussy" somewhere in there, which seems to mean vodka+peach schnapps+ whatever to make it tight or wet or pink.

>>17495978
>Powerful feeling
sucking a dudes cock in a dirty bathroom at 3 am is pretty fucking pathetic

>>17496533
speak for yourself

Negroni

>>17496651
i am and i will you little cocksucker

>>17485385
long island iced tea, a true mans drink.

>>17486024
>goonbag


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPfLk70Qk8Y

could I get eight fingers of your cheapest whiskey

>>17496691
>Drink ordered by women on every show and movie it's featured in

Yea buddy, I'll take a Mike's Hard too

>>17485412
Lmao check out this queer. You know fish fuck in that stuff, right?

people who gatekeep alcohol are the biggest fucking losers

>>17496818
and the old guy next to you will have two shots of whiskey

>>17485385
I'll have a cowboy, hold the whiskey.

>>17496678
different strokes for different folks guy, no hate

>>17485385
I order a lemonade and laugh at her disdainful expression.

>>17485412
BASED CHAD
>>17496838
>buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp hyea guyz alchohocl is my faVrorit drunk in rhe worl
no thanks

>>17493716
>If you're autistic, you're leaving
imagine coming to 4chan and calling someone autistic. back to facebewk NOW

H*nd h*lding.

I will ask deep and probing questions about their water filtration system before ordering a small glass of tap

>>17485438
Immeasurably based

>>17485934
does she say itadakimasu before eating out of your ass?

>>17500201
meant to respond to this >>17485913

>>17486167
fucking trash

>>17500318
What's that you say, good sir? Did you just besmirch my gentle name?

Bud light or PBR. Whichever is cheaper.

>>17485385
The cheapest whisky they have, and also ask if she wants one too since I'm buying

>>17485913
Based

>>17485385
I order drunken black thugs to gangrape her

>>17485385
whiskey sour, please

>>17485506
based taste. shramps and white wine

>>17489117
maybe in murrica this is common, but in urop I pretty much never see bartenders flirting with customers, it's usually more bartenders trying to fend off hordes of lonely, desperate, horny men with false hopes. though sexual molestation is part of german high culture so it might just be that.

I've even known bartenders who don't, or literally cannot, drink alcohol. most of them did the job because they wanted company

>>17490735
yes, because boycotts always work so fabulously and people really go go through with it, don't they? remember when just last year people burned their nikes? no? well, neither do nikes shareholders.

>>17500625
i fucking hate grape

>>17485385
I drink to enjoy, not to impress. I'll have a lime gimlet please.

>>17500811
good choice

>>17485709
Tell me more about what these great jobs are and how to get one >>17489152

>>17485993
That is gay ngl

I respect you brother, and the bartender will too