/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>17479449
Give them Reubens so that they remember their collective responsibility for the Shoah

>>17479457
the meats were actually the thing I'm most unsure about. My list now is:

mustard
multi-grain bread
pumpernickle bread
butter
kerrygold cheese
some other cheeses (guoda?)

but really not suer what meat to get...

they aren't super picky, but just want to have some stuff for them when they get here. plus they eat that stuff for breakfast too...

>>17479474
I have no clue. Give then gabagool and tell them it's some obscure German sausage that even they haven't heard about.

>>17479449
Kielbasa, schnitzel, spaetzle and a big mac plated on the bathroom floor

A big pot of beans.
Beware though, it might give them gas.

>>17479516
OP do NOT give them any opportunity to make gas or they WILL start another Holocaust

>>17479449
If you want to be on the safe side, prepare a vegan and cruelty free meal. Most modern day Germans roll like that.

>>17479474
German here. Hard to tell because most of us have a wide variety of sausages and meat to choose from. Easiest would be that you pick a classic like ham or similar.

sorry i asked. this board used to be pretty helpful.

>>17479543
thanks. I'll get some ham then. like sliced deli ham is fine?

>>17479546
please don't cry, i'm sorry

>>17479474
>some other cheeses (guoda?)
Gouda is probably the number 1 cheese in Germany so you can't do anything wrong with it. Also Emmentaler would be a safe choice.
For meat you can pick every pink slime sausage, salami, ham or other generic types.

>>17479548
Yea something like that. Maybe some salami/pepperoni.

>>17479560
i told him t-to get gabagool... w-why doesn't op like my recommendation? D':

>>17479551
it's okay anon :)

>>17479553
noted, thank you. i have access to all those.

>>17479560
ah okay good idea, yeah ham on it's own is kinda flat.

>>17479449
Just cook some shit. They like skat you know.

fillet o fish is like a fischsemmel, theyll like em

>>17479474
Ham is a decent allrounder that noone will object to. So is salami or liversausage/tea sausage (or a pate). As for cheese it depends on the person. Gouda is inoffensive, though its also a bit boring. But getting a great blue cheese is far more risky.
If it's also for breakfast, some jam/honey is good. You can also offer some sort of pickles. Maybe have some fruit (grapes, apples, pears, etc.) cut into slices ready. \

For a more involved meal spaetzle, schnitzel and knödel are great. That being said at least I don't like being served the typical food of my homeland when I am abroad. It's normally on par or worse than what I can get where I'm from, so why try to compete in that area. I'd much rather see something new or local where I am.

Other spreads that come to mind: Cream cheese, quark, spundekäse.

>>17479449
from what region?
boiled pig feet if Berlin
roasted pig feet if bavaria
spaetzle if south west(swabia)
rouladen if east german
rotten herring if north

>>17479612
this is very helpful, thank you. i added a lot of that to my list.

yeah, i'm not going to attempt to make apaetzle or schnitzel or anything, i take them out for fish and stuff we have local here. I just want some basics for them and the kid.

>>17479631
>and the kid.
If there's a kid you can consider Fleischwurst (which is the same as a russian doctors sausage and probably has some other equivalents where you live) or nutella/any chocolate spread. Both are quite liked by children (depends on their age though).
Offer some tea with it, sometimes also juice, thought that's more of a morning thing.
If the parents are trying to limit sugar intake for their kids, leave out the juice, nutella, honey and jam obviously.

>>17479614
weissach, which i always get confused if it's swabia or bavaria. I think that's bavaria. I'm just wanting some nice basics for them though... not trying to cook german.

>>17479652
yeah, they sell these crackers local that have some chocolate on them, I figured I'd get that for the little one. I'll look into fleischwurst, not sure i've seen that before.

>>17479449
Pretzel with beer cheese and grain mustard
Bratwurst with sauerkraut

>>17479700
I feel like our pretzels kinda suck compared to what they're used to. It's like getting a hamburger in Hong Kong... brats are probably pretty good up north but not here in the south. I just want to have some basic stuff for them, then will take them out to get local fish most nights/stuff they don't get at home.

>>17479753
Get on your knees and suck their dick then, senpai. listen, I can't help you if you don't let me.

>>17479854
weird how it always becomes a gay sex thing with you, anon... very strange.

>>17479753
>I feel like our pretzels kinda suck compared to what they're used to
They do indeed. If you decide to get any anyways make sure that they are at least made with lye, not some weird butter browning or some shit.

>>17479449
this picture clearly is not a dinner

>>17479864
Where do you think you are, anon?

>>17479449
Can’t go wrong with baloney. Germans love it. You should have mustard in your kitchen though. Why are they visiting?

>>17479449

Your American toilet lacks the stool-inspection shelf that is standard in German commodes. As a courtesy, put a flashlight and some rubber gloves in the bathroom for your guests.

>>17479449
Holly shitschnitzel Batman. Oswald Cobblepot has a wife and cildren.

>>17479546
Shitposting is a part of life my man, but yeah it hurts when you’re really looking for some help. What state are you in? I only ask because maybe they would rather try some American/local state food first. Later it could be fun to ask them what a good German meal is, and ask their advice on how to prepare it, then make it for everyone in a few days, depending how long they are staying for.

>>17479546
Ask stupid questions, get stupid answers. Give them some food. What the fuck do we know what they want? They're specific people that none of us know, not the embodiment of Germany. Why does a light meal even have to be German? Try peanut butter sandwiches and chocolate milk. Try chicken shish kabob with caesar salad. Try White Castle sliders.

>>17480144
>light meal
>peanut butter sandwiches and chocolate milk.
american definition of light

>>17479516
This, and hopefully at least one of them is a qt3.14 who will let you sniff her braps all night. Germans love that stuff.

>>17479449
Don't listen to all the retards, just make some sandwiches and maybe boil some wieners you can serve with mustard.

>>17480312
I think the guy is being purposely unhelpful because OP has shown himself a whinging little fag

>>17479449
Are you a woman? You're asking ck what kind of cheese and crackers to buy. What's wrong with you

Serve them some soupe aux choux for a starter, then jambon beurre and brie on frittes for ze main course

>>17479449
ritz crackers, medium cheddar cheese cut into slices, garlic sausage slices
it's always a hit

>>17479546
>teddy bear to cheer her up

>>17479474
It's just cold cuts with bread and veggies. Use real cheese, I mean you have Wisconsin for a reason.
Mortadella, Salami, Smoked Bacon, real cheeses like Gouda, Edamer, Tilsit, Cheddar. White cheese spreads like Philadelphia. Hard-boiled eggs. Dark Rye with butter. Some veggies like sliced Bell Pepper, Cucumber, Tomato, Spring onions. Pickles like Cornichons or Paprika.
The main problem is the bread, don't even try.

These niggas are about to get off a 12 hour flight tired and disgruntled as fuck while OP shoves kippers and brateurst on their faces

>>17479449
Cooking german foods just because they're german will make you come off as tacky and uncreative
Cook your signature dish, something you dominate already

>>17483731
and warm beer