/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>17465986
The weird part is that you think fast food wages care about you more then getting you in and out as fast as possible so they can go back to taking unsanctioned smoke breaks

>>17465986
>sometimes take slice cheese from home with me when I go to eat at the restaurant
wow

>>17465986
>calls getting fast food "eating out"
ishygddt

>>17466552
Making derisive jokes about customers is a good way to fight the monotony.

>>17466587
Yeah but it's never personal, and usually the customers aren't even aware. I've spent time in fast food and restaurants, most coworkers just yap about TV, cry in the freezer for 15 minutes after their shift started, or smoke weed in the back between making meals for themselves half the shift. Mr. OP really doesn't need to worry, the last thing anyone cares about is how many people are in the car unless it's 4 faggots placing 4 separate orders with 4 different bills

>>17466599
Some people are just so self absorbed they never realize no one cares about their bullshit.
>cry in the freezer for 15 minutes after their shift started
Working with women is an enlightening experience.

I slurp spaghetti at Italian places and give the waiter a big thumbs up with spaghetti still hanging from my mouth.

I also pronounce it spaghetteye to really make them think I'm a retard

>>17467362
>I also pronounce it spaghetteye to really make them think I'm a retard
kek.

I like to go to hipster coffee shops and ask for "expresso." One time the barista said: "Do you mean espresso?" and I just said: "Exactly, expresso!"

>>17466599
Well, OP is aware.

When served a platter, I have to try a bite of every combo of food items with each other. (For example, a bite of green beans and mashed potatoes, then a bite of steak and green beans, then a bite of steak and mashed potatoes, etc)

I never put a burger down once I start to eat it. I’ll talk to people at the table with the burger in my hands, hold it with one hand and wipe my face with the other, I’ll hold it with one hand and drink or eat fries with the other, but I never put the burger down.

>>17467381
Same, my dad does it too. I never realized it was strange until I was 23 and went to a bar with friends.

>>17467381
>>17467388
Also same. Fuck putting it down just to have it fall apart plus having to use up all my napkins before I'm actually done.

>>17467381
>>17467388
>>17467402
Put the burger down fatso.

>>17467388
>>17467402
Men of culture I see

>>17466599
It feels weird to say, but I kinda miss working in fast food. Your post made me nostalgic. I have a great job now that pays much better, but I also have way more responsibilities and stress thanks to my job and my coworkers are all decades older than me so there isn't much socializing in our out of the workplace. It was nice to just clock in, get drunk/high with coworkers and fuck around when it was slow, then have the occasional party with coworkers on Friday or Saturday night. It's hard to say if I was happier then or now.

>>17467381
>I never put a burger down once I start to eat it.

I save the best till last. The fries have to be eaten first, then the burger. No exceptions.

I always ask for local sauces and drinks, no matter what or where I'm eating.

>Nepalese make wonderful sauces
>So do Belgians, French and Italians, don't expect other people to know what sauces are
>Venezuelans don't know anything about rum
>Beer is best left to NW Europe
>Spanish wine is hopeless
>French wine costs way too much, except for independent Champagne houses

>always want sauce but don't want to ask for it unprompted because it doesn't fit into my drivethrough routine unless they ask if I want it
>be disappointed and sauceless like half the time

>>17467372
>When served a platter, I have to try a bite of every combo of food items with each other
Advanced High IQ Palate.

>>17465986
My dad has to microwave his plate before he eats. He had to microwave his plate over at my place. Very annoying

>When I go to buffets, I take a mouthful portion of almost everything, and then decide what I want to eat.

>>17467402
This is what happens when dexterity is your dump stat.

>>17467381
On a related note
>get burrito
>remember plate and fork
>tortilla maintains its integrity from start to finish, not so much as a grain of rice falls out
>forget plate and fork
>entire burrito is collapsing after 2 bites and spilling toppings all over my hands and the table
Never fails

>>17465986
That's not autism, you're just obese and cheap

I eat snickers with a fork and a knife, I also eat m&ms with a spoon

>>17467457
Worked at a Taco Bell for a year in highschool. I like to think that one day I'll get to experience the bliss of having the entire make line in front of me with the go ahead to make whatever I want for myself.... It ruined Taco Bell for me since it'll just never be as good as when you make it for yourself. I know a lot of it is rose tinted glasses though cause working there fucking sucked.

>>17467369
I say expresso all the time on coffee threads. I know a lot about it too, so combined with knowledgeable posts it's extra good bait and even funnier.

>>17467574
Why don't you have the plates warming in the oven before dinner, you pleb?

>>17465986

>>17465986
i will REEE every time a waiter tries to take the wine list

>>17465986
Haha nice, but if you are a fatso they will know both combos are for you.

>>17467457
Kind of relate. Worked at retail, now have my big boy job, but in some ways I'm so much lonelier. Everyone at my work are married, most with kids and going on maternity/paternity leave (a good sign for any workplace in the long-term) but that means I never feel connected to them. When I worked at retail me and my now best friend would show each other racist memes, bitch about our boss and talk about weird internet shit. The culture is so friendly and positive and I just feel like a weird asshole.

And to answer OP's question
>look at all the different configurations for order and compare total prices
>example: ordering a burger and a fry instead of a combo if cheaper

>wait until I get my food to order a soft drink/tea/etc.
>50% of the time they won't end up adding it to the bill

>exclusively order kid's menu from fast food places
>don't need to eat the adult meal, cheaper, and I like the toy

>>17465986
eating twice as much than others is a sign of kingliness, you just have to also put twice the work in also

>>17467345
t. has never worked a food service job

>>17465986
>go to chain restaurant
>order appetizer and spritzer while friends get flyover sized plates
>pay bill
>leave
>friends bloated and sleepy, I hit the town to sing karaoke and fuck roasties

>>17467457
working shitty jobs as a young person is kino, that's why most of the salty managers and customers are older because it's like the walked into a party they are too old for.

>>17466552
this is the autistic food eating thread. ain't no shame here. now share your autistic stories and habits you tight pussy

>>17467362
you're not just making this up, are you?

>>17467402
it would be ideal, but I love to alternate between my fries, soda pop, and burger. I can't eat one then go to the next. so the burger must go down so I can alternate.

>>17467498
that's funny anon, it's like you're a vampire where they have weird random weaknesses, like needing to be invited to enter a home. or are you really just that awkward you're too scared to ask for sauce?

>>17470265
Sauce?

>>17467590
>I take a mouthful portion of almost everything
based. tired of people talking shit about buffets. it's not about more bang for your buck, it's about getting to try a dozen different things at once, and getting refills of whatever you like the most.

>>17467701
>obese and cheap
yes. that's autistic.

Not sure if it counts as autistic or not..
But anytime I have a burger or sandwich with a side of fries, I will eat all of the fries before I touch the burger/sandwich.

Also, I never take a shit at a restaurant.
This isn’t so much an issue with shitting at restaurants in particular, but rather, the fact I seem to have an inability to shit with so much as a stitch of clothing on.
Whether I’m at my home, someone else’s home, a hotel, whatever, I strip completely naked to take a shit. Those places have clean floors for my clothes. A restaurant does not.
I’m fine shitting in airports though, which is great because I have to do a lot of international flights for work. Airport stalls are usually designed with the expectation you’ll go in with a piece of luggage, so there’s extra room. I can just put my clothes in my luggage while I’m shitting and get dressed again in the stall afterward.

In fact, the only time in memory I ever took a shit with clothing mostly on was Sep 21, 2019. It was in the washroom of a “green car” (1st class carriage) of the Sakura 560 Shinkansen line, going from Hiroshima to Shin-Osaka.
For some reason, I simply didn’t feel the need to. I felt remarkably at peace on that train.
Pic related; the very toilet I shat in. I took it so I could always remember the time I shat like a normal person.

>>17468630
>at a banquet hall
>the caterers keep taking away all the tasty appetizers too early, probably saving them for another event because they're cheapsses
makes me reee

>>17470277
based. i am not as much of an advanced shitter as you, however i always take my pants all the way off and remove my upper garments until im only wearing my wifebeater. this allows for me to adjust my posture to be most optimal for the shit in question and is just outright more comfortable by every metric. if i am shitting in a public place i will leave my clothes on however if i am at a friend or family members place i just lock the door and go about my business as usual. if you're taking your shits fully clothed you need to expand your horizons and sample the patrician life at least once. i have been doing this my entire life and distinctly recall my parents trying to train me to leave my pants around my ankles but i knew even when i was a child the folly of their ways. why would you leave your pants on around your feet? you're still buck naked from the waist down, may as well be comfy. keep it real king.

>>17470277
>I will eat all of the fries before I touch the burger/sandwich
Nah same, the fries go bad before anything else.

>>17468899
Sorry, meant to say women and faggots. Some queers forget they are basically women, forget that.

>>17465986
>can WE have
you do know that the wagie that take your order at the speaker thing is the same wagie that takes your money at the next window. they can see its only your fatass in the car

>going to place that doesn't serve enough protein
>stop by the supermarket on the way and grab a packet of seasoned tofu
>throw it on top to boost the protein without paying the inflated extra toppings price

>>17467381
i havent eaten a burger out side of my car whilst im driving for close to 3 years now. i hold the burger with my left hand and tuck the hinge area of the box between my pinky and ring finger so anything that falls stays in the box. if i want to change the song or turn on my blinker etc. i do it with my right hand while driving with my knees. i do this 4 times a week probably. i also leave the trash in my car untill im driving down a road at like 1am and theres no one around then i throw it all out the window

>>17470746
youre a nigger and i hope you crash

>always the same thing for months at a time
>always pick-up because fuck eating outside
simple as

>>17470744
>brings soy from home to add to his food
kek

>>17465986
>autistic things when you eat out
your sister

>>17470746
Actually based movie character opening

If I go in the city with friends and Im hungry I cant eat if they are not eating. I was broken up with because of this.

>>17470277
I'm happy you were finally able to come to peace with your shitting needs and find a sanctuary where you may shit clothed

>>17466560
It's not autistic or weird tbhh I'd do it

>>17471111
This but with my own

>>17470277
someone said they couldn't shit unless naked in a thread long ago and now any time I have the opportunity I also do so, I don't need to by any means but it is nicer

>>17470277
>>17470625
>>17471826
Based.
I choose to believe that the greatest Emperors throughout history took their shits naked.

>>17467485
>Beer is best left to NW Europe
if by NW you mean bavaria and bohemia you are perfectly right

>>17467498
theres an easy fix anon:
whenever you do get asked if you want sauce answer with "Yes errr can i has 2 plz" then leave one lying around in your car. So next time you dont get sauce but still have one in your glovebox or whatever

>>17470277
Well fries are best fresh, so it's logical to eat them as fast as possible, though I still prefer to alternate between burger and fries.

>>17470277
the whole shitting thing anon... do you have OCD?

>go to mcdonalds
>get two mcdoubles cause too cheap to purchase "premium burgers"
>add lettuce tomato and mayo for 20 cents per burger
>get large fries and large soda
>under 6 bucks for a meal fit for a burger

>>17470746
How the fuck would you eat a car outside your car while you were driving?

>>17465986
Ever since McDonald’s discontinued the $1 sausage egg and cheese McMuffin and replaced it with the (eggless) sausage McMuffin I’ve had to improvise. I bought a dozen stainless circular sort of like cookie cutters. Every morning I crack 3 eggs inside them and cook them to medium. I store each in their separate zip locked bags and put them in my right pocket. I place a single hand warmer between eggs 2 and 3. The one closest to my leg stays as warm due to body heat. I drive the 1.9 miles to my local McDonald’s and order my morning 3 sausage McMuffins. After which I take the top bun off and place one perfect egg on top of it. I realize logistically and cost wise this doesn’t replace the $1 sausage egg and cheese McMuffin but at 14c per egg, 2c per bag, and 21c per hand warmer it saves me $6.37c every morning vs paying 3.69 plus tax for each of my 3 sausage egg and cheese McMuffins.

>>17468490
Airsoft, and that’s not how HK diopter sights work.

>>17470280
caterer here, no we are taking dishes away to make room for the main courses and to make sure no one is eating food thats been sitting out for a few hours.

after the event we ask the organizer what to do with the food, few care about distributing it or taking it home so we throw most of it out.

>>17474911
based ESL, hes saying he has not eaten a burger except for the occasion that he is in his car and driving

>>17465986
>treat myself to dominos every week
>exact same order at the exact same time every single week
>8 pc Stuffed cheesy bread plus 8 pc plain wings with ranch dipping cup at 8pm on Thursdays
>it’s been the same two black girls working that shift for about a year now
>I have only spoken one single sentence to them (I am actually diagnosed autistic)
>they call me cheesy bread boy and always have my order ready right as I walk through the door
>”hey cheesy bread boy is here”
>”what’s up cheesy bread boy”
>”looking forward to your cheesy bread?”
>I always grab my order silently and walk out the door and can hear them laughing at me
I did over hear them call me “kinda hot” though which was nice. they’re both pretty cute and have massive tits and butts
>the one time I spoke to them was when one of them said “damn cheesy bread boy you sure do love cheesy bread”
>I said “I get wings too”
>they both started cackling and I quickly left the restaurant

>>17475005
Based, you should acquire a black queen

>>17474951
It's a videogame, Mr autism

>>17465986
How fat are you fatty

>>17470740
I'm technically overweight (185 at 5'8) but it's not something immediately apparent, especially if I'm sitting in my car. And I used to to the gym for years so my body packs the fat pretty well. So I still have some dignity to uphold. If I was a full on fat fuck I would just be completely transparent with my fat fuck habits.

>>17472634
German and Czech beers are just mildly flavoured water

>want wendys
>stop by mcdonalds first to have something to eat while i wait in the line at wendys

>>17474750
>do you have OCD?
No? I just despise shitting with clothes on. I don’t think that qualifies as OCD.

>>17475671
could you describe why that's unpleasant, please? not meant to say it's unreasonable, I'd just like to understand

>>17465986
I have to have equal amount of bites of everything on my plate. So 5 bites of mashed potatoes, of corn, meat, etc. if I’m off balance I either have to get more to even it out or simply stop eating.

>>17476241
I would describe it by saying it isn’t “objectively” unpleasant, but “relatively” unpleasant in terms of shitting clothed vs naked to the point that I will take measures within reason to avoid it.
If I shit with clothes on, it is due to reaching the point that there is simply no other choice.
I should have clarified in >>17470277 that I shat clothed in the train as a matter of choice, not necessity.
The restroom was spotlessly immaculate, and I could have tossed my clothes on the floor as easily as if I were in my own home. But I didn’t feel any need to.

Pic is the corridor area for the 1st class bathrooms on that train. They even have sinks/mirrors with a curtain you can draw if you simply want to brush your teeth or “freshen up”.
It is an inviting place to shit.

>>17471104
he clearly said he gets it from the supermarket, not from home

>>17465986
If I really like a dish, I have to eat it all off the plate. I’ve asked for extra bread/tortillas to mop up sauce, even licked a plate clean of rabbit stew once.