/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>17396384
they all do it for seo. The more bullshit and keywords they hit the better off they rank

>>17396384
Because they’re blogs.
The real question is why you’re too inept to simply scroll down til you find an ingredient list and preparation steps.
Do you need an e-celeb to explain this blog-recipe “hack” to you?

>>17396384
>fudgy
I hate the British so much bros

>>17396403
No, it's the SEO thing. I automatically bail on any recipe page which does not have a "jump to recipe" button right at the top, which mercifully seems to be popular now. Also,
>find recipe on pc
>looks good, send to my phone for use in the kitchen
>open it up and there's so many mother fucking ads it just about crashes my browser, literally unreadable

>>17396384
There's always the recipe filter browser extension.
Only thing is it's not affected by dark reader, so you get flashbanged by the shitty white popup. But it seems to work for almost every recipe site/blog I have tested so far.

For me, it's hubby posting.

>>17396417
Sounds like a you-problem.
Have you considered an archaic device called a “recipe book”?
Almost nothing except ingredients and recipes. Though they do have fewer images and no user-reviews.
>looks good, send to my phone for use in the kitchen
>open it up and there's so many mother fucking ads it just about crashes my browser, literally unreadable
Fuck me, I should have read your whole baitpost before writing anything. You got me. Points to you.

>>17396460
Whats wrong with you?

>>17396481
Lol absolutely fucking nothing, I can separate a recipe from blogfluff just fine.
And only the zoomiest of zoomers would complain “omg too many ads when I send recipe from computer to phone!!”
Even my (actual) boomer parents can handle finding recipes online and putting them into a kitchen-usable form.
My advice is as follows:
1. Learn to read
2. Learn to internet
3. Learn to computer
4. Learn to phone
5. Learn to cook

>>17396417
>he doesn't click the 'printer friendly version' link.

>>17396498
You sound like an insufferable cunt

>>17396523
You sound like a zoomlet who somehow, miraculously, managed to be more technologically illiterate than boomers who grew up before a fucking digital watch existed
You should thank me for pointing out how pathetically helpless you seem to be while you’re still young enough to do something about it.

>>17396533
Not op and not a zoomer,
Just passing through and noticed what a fag you are, bye bye!

>>17396544
fucking awesome, so you’re a tech-illiterate faggot who doesn’t have the excuse of being born before smart devices.
You’re a special flavor of retard. You are the Volcano Chalupa of retards. Congrats!

>>17396384
The more buzzwords they shove in the higher they might appear in the google search list

For me, it’s my parent’s 25 year old better homes and gardens cookbook

Everytime I see a post regarding how shitty online food recipes are I always post my go to sites for good clean easy to follow recipes without any god-damned roastie stories.

Two websites that cover almost all recipes are based.cooking and the wiki cookbook: https://en.wikibooks.org/wiki/Cookbook:Table_of_Contents

Neither of these show up in search engines and you should be mad about it

>>17396421
>scrambled eggs during the rhodesian bush war
fucking kek man.

>>17396421
was this made in one of these threads?

>>17396421
>written by...

>>17396642
>Neither of these show up in search engines and you should be mad about it
I've unironically looked for recipe wikis before and could never find any, thanks anon. Any reason they're blacklisted?

>>17396729
Because there's hundreds of thousands of SEO recipe websites and it drowns out the wiki.

>>17396733
Exactly this, Google can't actually find things anymore because too many people are trying to get your clicks

>>17396660
It's OC I made some time ago, don't even remember when honestly. I just edited the html of some recipe website for the joke when I got annoyed as fuck from similar mom blogs.
I apparently posted it once on Aug 6 2021 according to the archive, so I probably made it roughly around that time.

>>17396815

>>17396446
this is always cute, love seeing comments like this
>>17396417
>>17396506
you should use adblocker on your phone anyway

>>17396815
thanks. remember a fun thread a while ago about this sort of thing. attempts at writing funny recipe blogpost introductions.

>>17396417
Me too. When I see the pages of shit blog post I just bail out if there isn’t a jump to recipe or print friendly button. I’m not here to read your inane SEO bullshit surreptitiously presented as a fun and endearing story that shows off your personality (indistinguishable from every other recipe blog retard).

>>17396460
Books are heavy and take up space. I already have half a dozen bookshelves filled with good books I’m not going to waste my space and money on cookbooks when I can get 10000x more recipes from the internet.

>>17397080
Adblocker doesn’t get rid of the blog text.

>>17396642
you're a hero, thank you

>>17396406
Youre retarded. There are dense
fudge-like brownies (fudgy) and cake brownies (light cakey)

>>17396446

This is the hubs likes it I likes it

>>17396384
>my university days

>>17396384
>Google how to make something
>first result doesn't list the ingredients
>doesn't tell you the prep order or cook times of each ingredient
>janky site has ad wall so long it seems like the bottom of the site at first
>but it still has 10 paragraphs about bullshit
How do these sites even get to the top of a search result? Do people really read food blogs

>>17396446
you're just jealous that hubby's buddies aren't flocking to your house anon

>>17396384
buy a well written cookbook that has a good overview of everything. Then add geographic/cultural books to your food library if you're into that. fuck going to all recipes it's literally a shit fest, there's not a single recipe website that's not literred with unblockable ads and garbage recipes with poor design.

>>17396384
>not just skipping the blog bullshit and going straight to the recipe
why do you do this to yourself?

>>17399188
>How do these sites even get to the top of a search result? Do people really read food blogs
I think you must be unfamiliar with Google's whole business strategy....

>>17396384
if a food blogger doesnt mention their husband, it's not worth reading

>>17396446
I give this recipe five stars, but I make it completely different!

>>17396446
Wholesome and pure. As all things should be.

>>17396384
Brevity is foreign to women.

>>17400686
Oh then please enlighten.
If you could give me the link where I can pay Google to put me the top I’d appreciate it.

>Have you considered an archaic device called a “recipe book”?

>>17396610
>reading any recipebook written after the 1940s
Enjoy your kosher-certified goyfeed

>>17401104
im still not buying your stuff Townsends

>>17396384
i like the little stories. If I'm in a hurry I just don't read the first couple of paragraphs. Plus the stories adds character to the recipe and often times tell me about the culture it's from.

tl;dr: Cringe post

>>17401095
These posts piss me the fuck off. DO YOUR DAMN JOB JANNIES

>>17396446
wholsome. I want more hubby-posts

>>17396729
The My-Kids-Are-Fussy-And-They-Love-This-Recipe Mafia

>>17401152
yes, the soyjack is the problem in this thread.

>>17398839
Is this a triple pun?

- Making fun of the recipes with blog style introductions
- Making the claim you made pressure cooked roast beef in your university days
- Making the claim you got roast beef during your university (pus-pus)

>>17401119
I said 1940s, not 1740s

copyright reasons, so that they can make $. it has to have some ~lterary addition~ so that they can make their dimes off a recipe, trust me plenty of food bloggers hate having to write out their ass

>>17396384

>>17403424
>it’s comfort in a pan, just as good for when the darkness creeps up as it is for those days when you just need a bit more. And to those who might scoff at the two sticks of butter? Consider taking Schrambling’s words to heart: “Abstemiousness,” she wrote, “is not an option when you're feeling low.”
>two towers
>two sticks of butter

>>17396417
Don't click on anything on any webpage in any year after 2010. That's how Google gets you.

>>17403438
I want to kick her in the head

>>17396446
All the retards posting wholesome need to eat lead. If your wife refers to you as hubby she is definitely fucking other men

>>17403424
Came in this thread to post that one.

All great recipes start with the same simple ingredients - Jewish false flag terrorism.

>>17396498
recipe books are limited and usually shitty

>>17396556
jesus fucking christ, this is just an imageboard, not the most important publication in the universe
relax

>>17396446
>mfw my bro's wifey is making her signature again

When I was in Brooklyn a few months back doing a booksigning with the lovely folks from The Brooklyn Kitchen, a friendly woman came up to me bearing a tasty treat. I don’t like to eat in front of people, because, frankly, no one wants to meet up with an author while he is shoving sources of energy in his mouth. And in this day and age of people wanting pictures, I’ve learned that absolutely no one looks good when they’ve got a mouth full of food. And I have a hunch that there are a bunch of photos tagged with my name on them, around the internet, that will prove that.

However as soon as everyone had left, and no one was looking (especially those with cameras) I grabbed a spoon and dug in. Although everything inside looked good, I scooped out the creamiest of bites.

Since no one was looking, I dove right in. (Okay, I was planning on offering the others on the staff some tastes, but figured since I was the guest, they’d understand – I hope – that I was going to help myself first.) And let me tell you, that was one excellent bowl of gruel. It wasn’t overly sweet, or salty. Instead, it was a bowl of water and oats loaded with the exact precisely correct amount of salt. When I saw the recipe in their book, I learned their secrets.

That biggest secret to this particular bowl of gruel, from their book, Gruel: We Must Survive, from New York’s Most Creative Chef, was a pinch of salt. Salt is something one comes across every day, although a while back, Morton’s was selling one called “Non-Iodized,” which I didn't care for. But if you’ve had anything, you’ve had salt; it’s what gives the gruel that salted flavor.