/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>17362576
>no audio files
Dammit!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJF2cCMXPKk

>>17362583
looks gross

>>17362685
Goddamn, fish are hard to kill

>>17363495
My girlfriend does shit like this in private even when not being filmed. I think she might be retarded.

>>17363532
how fucking cute is that i bet you creampie her pussy dont you faggot

>>17362647
Is this ja/ck/?

>>17362576
is he okay?

>>17363532
keek

https://youtu.be/dd0FybzHwyY?t=7

>>17363803
Just sleeping.

>>17363913
This looks like a fooken snuff movie

>>17363949
>bread
That's just cake.

>>17363965
Jesus christ this angers me

>>17363986
No it fucking isn't. Have you even made cornbread before? That is a shit recipe, though, with no buttermilk and too much sugar.

>>17363475
in modern cooking, why are nords still allergic to spices? 800 years ago when there was no spice trade it makes sense, but now?

>>17364020
>Traditional

>>17363999
>No it fucking isn't.
That webm is plain cake.

>>17363992
Thats exactly what he wanted

>>17364020
What kind of spices do you put on cod and boiled potatoes?
I'd probably have made a bechamel with a bunch of parsley in it or maybe just a remoulade, though.

>>17363532
I yell out nigger and violent threats at nobody when I'm in private and nobody's around to hear

>>17362741
>tfw you'll never hit the road with your asian truck wife

Holy fuck I've never wanted anything so badly

>>17364044
Dill and garlic butter.

>>17364047
Everyone does.

>>17364070
you never know who's listening

Carne de rata!

>>17362685
Critters that are too goddamn dumb to know that they are dead.

>>17363999
I call that 'johnnycake' and it's really good with butter.

>>17362576

>>17364161
Is this why zoomers don't like gas stoves/ovens?

>>17364020
The Nordic spices are butter, onions and salt, in that order.

>>17362583
this really activates my gluten

>>17364020
>>17364189
Nordic food, including the "traditional" stuff, has plenty of herbs and other flavouring agents such as berries.
Don't form an opinion of all our cooking based on a short video of an Icelander who doesn't even know the wet hand/dry hand method.

>>17363965
I'm sure the already 2% salt fritos really needed that extra pinch of salt.

>>17363945
oddly satisfying

>>17364047
I yell like a schizzo to the tv or radio when nobody is home

>>17364585
God I hate bugmen.

>>17364593
>me after stealing my moms credit card

>>17362623
Young Ramsey?

>>17363913
Is that the latest cartel video?

>>17362576
what's happening?

>>17364044
the message about the shrimp that kept rescaling was kinda cute

>>17364670
95% chance it's fake and gay.
If I had to assume it's probably a super freshly cut and roasted fish, and the heat is causing muscle spasms/contractions as the muscle fibers tighten and expel liquids?

>>17364728
>zoom zooms has never cooked a fresh fish fillet

>>17364670
it's fresh

>>17363965
simple. rustic. delicious.

>>17363907
mexican "food" is shit

>>17362685
ngl, that chicken at the end kinda fucked me up

>>17364833
That was a frog I think

>>17362647
how is this possible? did they just put in the max heat for like 30 seconds and charred the outside? i feel like the raw parts would still be cold

Looks delicious...

>>17364070
when I see schizos in the middle of the road screaming at the sky, I always stop and encourage them further

>>17364615
>oil aint even hot
jesus fucking christ

>>17364752
Ive caught fish, fileted them while they were alive then immediately cooked them. Ive never seen any of them flop around

>hair like a woman
>no hairnet

>>17362629
Now imagine attaching a fleshlight to that.

>>17364992
Really?
It happens to me all the time.
Also the person in the OP webm should have put a few shallow cuts in the skinside. When you roast fish that fresh it will curl up if you don't.

>>17364020
>why are nords still allergic to spices
Why are you so dumb and ignorant?

>>17365020
Maybe it depends on the fish. Ive cut filets off catfish and the fish was still breathing while the filets were cooking. Kinda gross but the filets were totally lifeless

>>17364563
>>17364566
Do Americans really?

>>17364772
That ain't mexican food gringo.
That's gringo larping as mexican (or chicANO) food

>>17364838
correct
t. bought and ate a lot of frogs

>>17365020
just noticed he's missing a pinkie

>>17364161
I need this with sound

>>17363803
How do they film it? Heat-resistant camera?

Spaghetti ala wolfgirl

>>17363965
>wearing anything on your wrist while cooking

>>17365014
Still think my niece can do it better than a machine.

>>17364563
>>17364566
Do you think she's still alive bros?

>>17362629
But did it actually scramble the egg?

>>17364670
they didn't kill the fish properly and it's trying to escape because it's in excruciating pain from being cooked alive

>>17365127
it has no head though

>>17365130
My glans

>>17364161
Fake and extremely fucking gay

>>17365020
>>17365032
I don't know much about fishing, but just in eating terms there seems to be a difference between fish with soft white meat like catfish and the darker meat of something like tuna. There's probably a proper term for it. I bet you're right and it's something along the lines of whether the fish does lots of fast swimming.

>>17364201
That's really cool, but no one can see the animation in real life. Literally made for internet points on Reddit or something.

>>17362629
Uhhhhhh faster

>>17362583
unironically looks like cat barf

>>17363986
>what are "quick breads" like biscuits, irish soda bread, etc.
idiot

>>17365058
>pures leben
you aint smart anon

>>17365731
> got_another_one

>>17363913
>>17363966
>>17364635
With the right angle and light anything can look like a crime against humanity.

>>17364593
on my way to shitpost on /ck/ and /fit/

>>17364593
His shirt doesn't fit. Someone should tell him. Also, why is he going back and forth? Seems staged.

>>17365617

>>17365849
Is that the youtube guy who whores out his daughter by making her play in the mud wearing skimpy clothes while he's pretending it's just "good clean wholesome daddy/daughter fun"?

>>17366011
Does it matter? She is over 12 so sexualization is a non issue. Let it go. No one is into geriatrics here.

>>17364882
Look at how juicy it is

>>17365849
yeah Hannah fucks her daddy

>>17364626
yes, and young stock cube merchant

>>17362685
Bros... I think I'm a vegan now.

>>17366225

>>17366254
huh. In what parts of the world would bear meat be available to purchase?

>>17363965
>seasoning already overly seasoned fritos
kek

>>17364882
>he doesn't like mid rare chicken
ngmi

>>17366715

Finland at least, but it's expensive since bear's are likely to carry parasites and the bureaucracy to get a sales permit is complicated.

>>17364882
>>17364615
why is jack so afraid of heat? did his dad burn him with cigs or something?

>>17364161
Doesn't this guy have a whole series of intentionally bad cooking videos? I've seen them before, but now I can't find him anymore.

>>17365093
this nigga gets naked when he cooks

>>17366715
I've had bear in Sweden.

>>17366715
Rural canada/alaska it's not super uncommon, but it'll usually be from a farmer's market or just knowing a guy that hunts bear, it's not something you see in grocery stores, there tends to be a lot of laws involved in selling it to try to limit poaching.
Makes really good stew.

>>17366715
there's a region in japan where you can eat bear meat because they had too many of them thanks to the depopulation of the rural japanese who leave for the city

>>17363913
Almost certainly produced filmed and distributed by PITA

>>17367177
Just go to any ski resort in Japan.

>>17365849
Why can't they just kill it before they stick a fucking hook through its body? Shit.

>>17367454
I think they just put it through the gill, but that still bothered me a bit too. Don't know if they released it but if they were going to kill it they could've done that first.

>>17367555
>leave comically large portion of bone on the meat

i hate this meme.

>>17365584
You could if you did it indoors and had a strobe light.

>>17367582
But how will passerby know you're a BIG COOL MAN and NOT a faggot if not for the giant bone?

>>17367582
But dude it's called a TOMAHAWK cut so it counts as fancy ethnic food.

>>17367495
it'll be fine it's a fucking catfish.

>>17362852
Based

>>17367733

>>17367733
plz don't fuck the catfish

>>17367751
i call it "making love"

>>17365731
so you just got here, huh?

>>17367733
I'd like to know what you think "it'll be fine" means

>>17367835
are you tarded? my first wife was tarded and she's doing fine too

>>17362685
That is honestly fucking creepy especially the frog legs and whole frog

>>17366254
>spend hours preparing bear sausages
>go to forest to cook them
>get killed by bear that's not sausage yet
>become man sausage for bear family
The cycle continues

>>17362685
Hello my baby hello my honey hello my ragtime galllll

>>17364563
>>17364566
>>17364568
>>17364576
>>17364583
>>17364585
Why do you always post this I think everyone on /ck/ has seen these now

>>17368003

>>17367924

>>17368136
>Goodbye my baby, goodbye my darling, goodbye my ragtime gal...

>>17365073
wonder how he lost it

>>17365073
i watched in slow motion and it looks like he has both, i think he's just keeping them tucked in most of the time

>>17364115
>>17364833
In a lot of animals, a portion of their vestibular system is not inside their head or neck, meaning that after decapitation, the body will often still perform righting and balancing reflexes. In chickens, part of it is found in the pelvis, which is why they're notorious for moving after "death".

>>17365020
I've spent probably a couple hundred hours using a sliding circular saw at work, but I'd never be that fuckin' confident around a band saw.

>>17366413
That actually looks pretty damned decent.

>>17368203
>:singing "ONE! PEPERRONI PIZZA!"
>*CRASH*

>>17367941
I was talking with my friend about this.

Do you guys think you can kill a bear with a knife?
>Hanging from a tree underneath bear
>Land on top and hold on for dear life
>Stab in the skull with the knife severing spine or straight into the brain

Im aware of how hard it'd be but Im concerned as to if itd be possible

>>17368315
not bloodly likely, bears get advantage on all saving throws

>>17368315
Certain species of bears are positively docile and downright retarded for their size. I'd say, on average, moose would make a far greater challenge to take out with nothing but a knife.

>>17365080
Every so often they open the door and snap a pic really quick then shut it again.

>>17368327
Then I guess I'll add to the list of animals to kill with a knife

>>17368315
Yeah, I've done it lots of times. It's surprisingly easy as long as you use a decent hunting knife. Try it out.

>>17366224
just like when i piss

>>17367590
libtard roastie seething

>>17362583
Bone apple teeth

>>17368352
well yeah of course I am, I'll absolutely record it too. So either one day you'll see found footage of a dude dyin in a bear attack OR I'll give a play by play of the time I killed a bear with nothing but a knife

>>17362852
how does he get out

>>17362623
Simple, elegant, rustic.

>20 years later
>"Let's undercooked undercook a grilled cheese on a cast iron skillet."

>>17368210
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_the_Headless_Chicken

>>17368374
Retard baited

>>17362576

Thats very unsettling

>>17362647

>brass ring with glass "diamonds"
>still obscenely tacky

>>17362852

>>17362685

I remember when I was little my unccles would warn me to be carefull cleaning fish cause they could "jump" long after dead, But Ive never seen it after cleaning...I wonder if this is a specific type of fish/improperly butchered/cleaned animials or maybe just super fresh? Like just killed fresh?That chicken looked like it coulda been alive, what if it was some super fucked up case like the chiken who lived weeks after having its head lobbed off, And that particular chiken was a re-incarnated serial killer and had to suffer the shitty life of a production chicken then living through being slaughtered, cleaned, sold and cooked....and maybe even eaten lol...I hope thats it

>>17368315
>hanging from a tree underneath bear
>hanging from a tree
>underneath

>>17368449
libtard roastie (failing at) damage control.

>>17362576
>"Shhh, stop it ! You cook and be delicious ! Stop it now. The nerve of this fish, unbelievable !"

>>17368492
>Damage
Lmao, I'd say you have delusions of grandeur but we're on /ck/, you already know

>>17368394

Hes got to sell ALL the eggs!

That however means somone must EAT all those eggs! Imagine the smell of 200 egg and onion sandwiches fried in their own grease and shat out by 30 sweaty potbellied indians...You just know theres a shit/piss trough behind the egg shack, yknow, Case' ya gotta make room for another eggy or 2...Dont worry, dont gotta wash your hands, we aint shy ere', aint no runnin water anyhow!

>no toilet paper
>no problem
Simple as

>>17364047
>>17364070

I sing weird songs and make weird strained faces with my neck muscle interlaced with sounds like "UHROOOGAA, UHHROOGAA, EEP EEP EEP EEP"

The song ive been singing if a re-make of that wu-tang clan song "shame on a nigga who tried to run game on a nigga"

Cept' I just go "SHAMMEEE on a nigga who tries to run GAME on a nigga, SHAME on a NIGGA who tries to RUUNNN GAMMEE on a nigga, SHAAAMMMEE on a NIGGA who TRIES TO RUN GAMMEE ON A NIGAAA, WHUP WOP WOW ON DA TRIAGAA, URP URP URP" I like doing it late at night when its cold outside so noone is likely to come across me, but somtimes I yell it loud enough knowing people in their apartment can hear me and hope they get weirded out

>>17362576

>>17363965
Is that a fookin michelin star trophey on the table? Any trophey on the table other than the "mexican housewife short on time" award with that meal is a disgrace

>>17368586
Didn't pan out as expected.

>>17368003
kek

>>17365058
no we dont, this is on tv, our freaky 80 iq retards do this shit though,

>>17368631
Hollywood Cali scumbag. Real America does it every day, but of course you would have no idea about that.

>>17368586
>voting rights
>reproductive rights
>entitled to same recompense
i love democracy.

>>17362623
So that's how they make Chef Boyardee ravioli.

>>17363965
Wh
why would you cut the bag that way? The whole webm is baffling but that in particular is throwing me for a loop.

>>17368136
>This kills the kermit

>>17365069
bruh corona virus

>>17363907
do americans really?

>>17368109
>Shirts vs Skins

>>17364589
did the guy who've made have the onscreen text have a stroke? lietraly the first 2 sec were on english only. The rest are gibberish. do americans really?

>>17362741
>come to a sudden stop
>third degree burns

>>17368807
>sudden stop
>while already stationary

>>17364610
>me watching western civilization collapsing before my eyes

>>17368807
18-wheelers dont come to a "sudden stop", and if it did then she would have far worse problems than cooking burns.

>>17368203
ECW! ECW! ECW!

>>17368580
literally a boiled egg. what the fuck is wrong with americans.

>>17368809
>step on gas
>third degree burns

>>17368852
the sprinkled shit looks to be lime chili. if the price is sane there is nothing wrong with selling that, the effort involved isnt very different from egg sandwiches you can find worldwide.

>>17368861
Why would she step on the gas?

>>17368807
>it's not even moving
are you retarded or a white bugman?

>>17368653

>>17368794
The whole thing is in german, you fucking donkey.

>>17368881
Hahaha do americans really do shit like this for food?

>>17362583
why are vegans/alternative food recipes such shit

>>17368852
It's also perfectly cooked, a thick and creamy yolk with a white that is set but tender.

>>17367582
>>17367590
two retards who only ubereats tacobell dont know shit about cooking

>>17368580
those look good, would eat if i pealed it myself.

>>17368653
Scrambled eggs take like 2 minutes on the stove

>>17368486
I go fishing every summer and the fish will keep "gasping" to push water through the gills long after the head has been separated from the body. It's much more rare for the body to flop around like that. Does happen every once in a while though.

>>17363945
yeah definitely get off all those bellyscales...

>>17368482
I hate subhumans SO MUCH
Its fucking horrible. They could chop off their heads but they dont.
Probably dont wanna deal with the mess, ungrateful horrible people.
"People".

>>17363532
Women generally are, so yes. Its quite possible.

>>17367177
Anywhere in japan. I could go down to the supermarket right now and get bear, boar or whale.

>>17362852
There he is. There he goes again. Look, everyone! He posted it once again! Isn't he just the funniest guy around?! Oh my God.

I can almost see your pathetic overweight frame glowing in the dark, lit by your computer screen which is the only source of light in your room, giggling like a like girl as you once again type your little Egg Fort thread up and fill in the captcha. Or maybe you don't even fill in the captcha. Maybe you're such a disgusting NEET that you actually paid for a 4chan pass, so you just choose the webm. Oh, and we all know the picture. The "epic" Surly King guy, isn't it? I imagine you little shit laughing so hard as you click it that you drop your greasy egg sandwich on the floor, but it's ok, your mother will clean it up in the morning. Oh, that's right. Did I fail to mention? You live with your mother. You are a fat fucking fuckup, she's probably so sick of you already. So sick of having to do everything for you all goddamn day, every day, for a grown man who spends all his time on 4chan posting about eggs. Just imagine this. She had you, and then she thought you were gonna be a scientist or an astronaut or something grand, and then you became a NEET. A pathetic Eggfag NEET. She probably cries herself to sleep everyday thinking about how bad it is and how she wishes she could just disappear. She can't even try to talk with you because all you say is "HOW DOES HE GET OUT WITHOUT BREAKING THE EGGS?" You've become a parody of your own self. And that's all you are. A sad little man laughing in the dark by himself as he prepares to indulge in the same old dance that he's done a million times now. And that's all you'll ever be.

Forever...

>>17368591
I dont think you know what a michelin star is

>>17368763
its a shitpost you normalfaggot.

>>17362852
EGG ?!!!!??!?!?!?!??!

>>17362685
>0:33
Is that the lastet toy from Bad Dragon?

/r/ aunt Myrna's party cheese salad.

>>17363913
hes getting gore all over his long cotton sleeves wtf roll your sleeves up

>>17365641
ignore him, he does this in any thread that shows something not in the form of a boule, baguette, or batard

>>17366413
Yeah I'd eat tha-
>Adds ketchup
Disgusting.

>>17366042
>She is over 12 so sexualization is a non issue.

>>17362685
>only one still living thing in this clip
meat moves because it's muscle
i will still eat it
cope & seethe veganoid

>>17363949
>cutting the crust off the cornbread
also this is by far the worst cornbread I've ever seen.

>>17368490
oops, my bad, you know what I meant

>>17366413
Why is it served with bread?

>>17369782
they ran out of mud that day.

>>17369066
They cut the throat so hopefully they bled out quick and went unconscious within a couple seconds. But that fucked me up a little too thinking that some might still be aware when being butchered. Then I started thinking those people probably don't have easy lives either which usually leaves less room to care about that kind of stuff. I'm sure someone will call me a faggot but I didn't expect this from a /ck/ webm thread.

We doing muscle spasms itt?

>>17365836
So much effort for that shit, not to mention you can do it using a pair of stockings

>>17363803
This was very satisfying

>>17365127
>>17364670
>>17364759
>>17364728
>>17368452
>>17368496
Retards detected. It's literally the pan warping under the heat and sitting right on the temp where it sort of folds diagonally and then straightens back out. You can test this yourself with a cheap metal pan with no air gap. Take a sheet pan and heat it up in your oven and it will eventually make a sound and snap into a slight diagonal fold.

>>17362589
He overcooked the shit out of that chicken. Over 182F internal, embarrassing.

>>17366011
No, hannah has had her own youtube for some time.

>>17369745
Nowhere in that video did anyone remove a crust.

>>17366201
Domino's made money that night

>>17368653
If I was rich, I would totally buy shit like this as a massive financial shitpost. I'm not even sure why. Probably better that I don't have money.

>>17368490
>bear already has the height advantage

>>17369798
>those people probably don't have easy lives either
hint, the same reason why they don't have empathy for animals is the same reason they don't have nice easy lives

>>17363965
ah COTA, a magical place

>>17362647
I hope that's the first step of their Salisbury steak recipe...

>>17362741
Being a really short semi driver would be super comfy I bet.

>>17368653
What would this consistency of this abomination be?

>>17368109
this raises a philosophical question: what is it to be?

>>17370485
It also raises my pp

>>17370528
>not even a little courtesy bop

>>17368169
lel

>>17368565
>I sing weird songs and make weird strained faces with my neck muscle interlaced
brother

>>17370528
the tail just flapping around is really sad

>>17370528
>that sad look into the camera at the end

fucking gooks, nuke them again please

>>17368865
that guy has a cool setup

>>17370528
Imagine them in the future impaling us like that and us crying. Will be fun for some time.

>>17368109
Not that difficult being green now, is it?

>>17364593
This thing has a boyfriend
At first I felt pity, but then realize that the dude is doing it to himself, while letting his "love" do THAT to himself. A healthy partner would say stop or I'm leaving you. Easier said than done but this is just disgusting to see

>>17366201
Haha oh fuck!

>>17368109
>It's just the salt they sprinkled on bro

>>17365584
its cgi anway

>>17370528
>OH MY GOD PLEASE STOP AAAGGHHH JUAT KILL MEEERE AGH FUCK FUCK FUCK PLEASE PLEASE STOP MY FUCKING GOD MY EYE MY BODY AGH FUCK
>ror you fry now you get dericious me rikey

>>17364585
Every time I see this I think "That's a good looking burger, that bread is a little too thick for my taste, but okay. Wait... what are they putting on now?? Stop!"

>>17368865
pretty good considering what he has to work with

>>17363965
No fucking way; 100% chance he's trolling

>>17368864
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fw07JlV_9rc
ultrasonic cutting knife to get the clean cut on swiss rolls

>>17365744
:3

>>17366254
Who the fuck brings half a dozen pots and pans and twice as many ingredients to go fucking camping?

>>17368883
Pshooo

>>17370547
>>17370643
>>17370651
>>17370709
>>17370853
fish don't suffer from pain
they react to it, but they don't actually hurt, their brains aren't developed enough

>>17368865
Impressive

>>17363532
i've noticed that the girls in my life do this as well, especially the giggling.

>>17369142
Touch grass

>>17371148
Why are they reacting to it then? It must still be some kind of negative stimulation which means the decent thing to do would be avoiding inflicting more than necessary.

>>17364044
>boiled potatoes
thats the issue, potatoes should always be golden/roasted
nords are allergic to any caramelization

>>17363824
gross

>>17371148
>Anything to justify hurting others
shame.
>MUH SCIENCE SAYS THEY DON'T FEEL PAIN
You will go to hell.

>>17366225
weakling

>>17368486
headless chickens that "survive" most likely cant process any perception

>>17366042
degenerate

>>17371259
>y-you will heckin g-go to hell if you hurt the objectively soulless fish my bible says never matters at all anyway
You're basically a pagan who doesn't realize it yet.

>>17369798
when you suffer you dont care if others suffer too, most even wish others to suffer like they do

>>17371259
>You will go to hell.
ironic since god gave man dominion over all animal life.

>>17369660
they were so close

>>17371273
It's still unsettling to see something moving around and "alive" after it's higher brain functions have been removed.

>>17370432
Id fucking mog that

>>17362589
Is this old man late for water aerobics or what? why does it seem like he's rushing

>>17371601
Pretty sure it's slightly sped up.

>>17370507
All these American protests where a little group blocks roads and fucks with the citizens are getting a bit silly but that roast pig looks good.

>>17370432
Honestly not much different from Cajun boudin

>>17364593
i still cant fucking believe he willingly did this to himself. i get hating the vegan community and having some gradual weight gain after introducing proper protein and no longer starving yourself on leaves and twigs but this is revolting

>>17372199
>gradual weight gain after introducing proper protein
do you even understand basic nutrition?

>>17364161
>zoomers: lol okay boomer
>also zoomers

>>17363949
>sugar in cornbread
into the trash it goes.