/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>17316530
Okay

>>17316532
I have come to this board seeking advice

>>17316534
Hold the sandwich better

>>17316530
the key is to flatten or slice the meatballs

>>17316566
I'm not sure how I can hold it better. It's literally the ONLY food in existence that does this

>>17316530
Tips from a Pro:

1. Stop eating "italian" food. It all sucks

2. Recognize meme food compositions made by midwits and avoid them

3. Make a meatloaf sandwich instead like the smart person you know you are

>>17316530
Cut a rectangular slit out of the bread, then pull the bread out making a channel in it with 4 sides, They place the cheese in and layer the meatballs in the channel.

>>17316530
I always cut the meatballs in half so they sit flat when I make a sub

>>17316530
you gotta stop thinking about getting the right amount of that meatBALL in and around your mouth and teeth to get a sufficient bite. just accept the ball. think of yourself as a doggy playing with a beef flavored tennis ball, and that tennis ball just said something about yo momma.

>>17316596
That's a lit of engineering for a sandwich. How about just using a knife and fork.

>>17316534
if you are not man enough to swallow an entire meatball with one bite, try to eat half o it so it will stay still. also this>>17316926
>>17316591
it is not italian food by any means, this thing do not exist here, nobody puts meatballs in bread or in pasta

>>17316530
Put your dick in one end of it, thereby sealing off 1 of the potential fallout routes then proceed to eat the other end. Problem solved

>>17316530
if the bread had an egg carton shape to cup the balls in place then this would not be a problem. you need specially designed bread.

>>17316530
Firehouse meatball is the only meatball sub I will eat

>>17316960
Help , i did this but now im eating towards my penis, if i dont stop in a few bites i will have to go to the hospital. How do I stop?! Please answer ASAP

>>17317050
Switch to your backup sandwich. You do have a backup sandwich don't you?

>>17316530
You have to grip it like a man

>>17316971
My nephew choked to death on a meatball at Firehouse, I wasn't there but apparently everyone started freaking out when it happened and one of the employees punched him in the chest trying to pop the meatball out (found out afterwards that his punch actually drove the meatball deeper into the throat and quickened the suffocation)

>>17317091
Sorry for your loss

>>17317060
SHIT

>>17316530
Practice makes perfect.

>>17316530
Fuckin' hell.
Pick up a meatball with two fingers and pop it in your mouth -- or bite it in half.
Take a big chomp of the bread from the section that is meatball-less.
Chew, chew, chew. Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy.
Repeat.
WTF is that lettuce, tomato, cucumber mess?
Replace that shit with green pepper slices.
Between meatball-in-mouth & bread-chomp, use your incisors to introduce chopped green pepper to the mix.

>>17317095
I wasn't close to them, still came as a shock though

Cut the meatballs in half

>>17316530
Personally I have given up on that sandwich for similar reasons. A sandwich should always be a convenience. Far to many sub shops fail to understand this.
>>17317091
The fact the heimlich maneuver isn't taught in schools continues to baffle me. You'd think life saving information would be passed on readily.

>>17316971
>>17317091
>>17317095
>>17317125
>>17317211
Anyone who has had a Firehouse meatball knows it’s worth the risk

>>17317230
I feel a powerful need to drink some water looking at this image.

>>17317211
>heimlich
the hitting on someones back part is very bad
the abdominal fist and flat hand hug thing works pretty ok
>apparently 70-86% survival rate

>>17317239
Best beverage to serve with a meatball sub is an ice cold American beer

>>17316903
This.

>>17316530
>rotate sandwich horizontally so that bread opening is facing up
>squeeze bread at the end you aren't biting
>turn your head sideways and bite
You can do it!

>>17317262
To be saved by the man himself, on his first try. I could only hope to be so blessed.

https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/05/27/479760854/dr-heimlich-uses-his-maneuver-for-the-first-time-saves-87-year-old-woman

>>17316530

I'd use a fork and knife for that

>>17317211
The heimlich maneuver doesn't work. This has been proven and widely known since 2015. It only became a thing because of marketing. That the Red Cross continues to teach it today is what is truly baffling.

>>17317322
No, that's CPR with alternating chest compressions and rescue breathing. The Heimlich works.

>>17317308
>>17317322

>>17316903
That's how they're supposed to be made. Even the one in >>17316530 are cut in half.

>>17317331
original heimlich involved alternating between hitting on the back and the bearhug compressions
the bearhug compressiong work pretty good
the back hitting is very bad, heimlich himself wanted it to be renamed abdominal thrusts so people would stop smacking people on the back
>>17317322
red cross stopped it in 2006 and only recommend the abdominal thrusts

>>17317382
>original heimlich involved alternating between hitting on the back and the bearhug compressions

That's not what I've heard, quite the opposite. But who knows, everything is a lie these days.

>>17316578
>>17316534
cut the meatballs with a utensil you fucking idiot, half or quarter them since you have a tiny soi mouth

>>17317091
>SHIT! A kid is choking!
>my time to shine. Becky will totally want me after I save a kids life!
>bitches love superheros....
>*POW*
>*WHACK*
>*kid rips*
>fuck yeah

>>17316530
I'm feeling sorry for captain hook OP

>>17316530
I eat these with a knife and fork but idk if that makes me retarded or not

>>17316530
once watched a guy eating a soggy subway meatball sub and when he picked it up the meatballs fell out from the middle onto the floor. he picked them up and put them back in..

>>17317091
lmao

>>17317091
That's a shame.
A punch in the back instead might have actually done the trick.
Did the autopsy really show that the punch had driven the meatball further down the trachea or did some asshole who thinks he knows everything just tell you that?

>>17320008
one of the chefs at the sandwich shop told me

>>17317091
>everyone started freaking out when it happened and one of the employees punched him in the chest
Wonder if it was a black guy throwing a huge wurld starrr haymaker

>>17320061
They're not real chefs.

>>17320071
well he had a hat

>>17316530
train yourself to fit more in there by sucking BBC. correction, more BBC

>>17317091
Based

>>17319064
based. wasting food is a sin.

>>17320073
Man, I work in fine dining and I don't get to wear a hat :(

>>17316534
cut it into 1/8ths or 1/4ths, each meatball, then re-put on bread

>>17316936
what kind of pretentious pube bearded homo eats a sandwich with a knife and fork?

Why does it even have to be a meatball? Just make a long roll of meat and cook it. Holy shit people are fucking stupid for not doing this

>>17321067
why make it a roll when you could make it like a paddy instead?

>>17321113
I actually make them flat and rectangular, just said it wrong cause im half asleep

>>17316530
hold it in place with your hands, fat imbecile