/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>17315296
10 seconds probably

Does it still count as eating if i cram it

>>17315296
If i cram it real fast i might finish in 5 seconds.

>>17315296
That much time? Does that mean I have to eat both, or just the one?
If it's just the one, I could force it down my throat in 5 seconds.

>>17315310
Timer starts when it touches the inside of your mouth and it ends when >99% of it is down your throat.

>>17315296
I bought one of those half-pound cups back when they came out and I basically settled for cutting it up like a pie and eating it over a couple days. If you don't count the prep-time of breaking it apart, probably an unenjoyable 5 seconds.

>>17315313
Just one.

>>17315315
Yeah yeah I get that but what If I cram it

>>17315296
Is unwrapping it part of the time to eat it?

>>17315329
No. Timer starts when it touches the inside of your mouth. You may even divide it into smaller pieces beforehand.

>>17315315
>>17315329
nvm you answered my question

>>17315315
What if i break it up into lots of tiny bits before it ever touches my mouth

>>17315332
I'm sorry, I don't really understand. Can you retype it but be more clear please? I just don't get it.

>>17315296
3 sec max, i wouldmash it into aphallic form and use my incredible deepthroat skills to get it throught my esophagus

>>17315296
I'm gonna choke on it and die.

>>17315296
That's a fairly small amount of Reese's for an average-sized person, I'd say? The main reason Reese's unwrap so fast and "last" so short is that there isn't much density to it. I wouldn't WANT to eat a double helping of peanut butter in that timeframe, but I could easily.

>>17315946

>time only starts when it hits my mouth
>put it in a blender with water and blitz it into a drink
>insert a funnel into my mouth that bypasses my mouth
>lean back, pour liquidised reeses into the funnel
>the reeses bypasses my mouth and hits my throat before going down
>zero time elapsed, 10 million earned

>>17315965
Realistically your throat width would be your bottleneck, though I bet you could get it down to 3-5 seconds using that method, especially if you can do some forced induction to blast it down as quickly as possible.

>>17315296
well, digestion starts at chewing
so i feel confident i can cram this entire thing in my mouth at once
therefore, i will have eaten it in 1 second
send me 10 mil pls :)

>>17315296
15 seconds maybe?
then i would probably definatley puke
>>17315315
could i melt it and chug it?

>>17315976
it looks possible

>>17315296
I would melt it down and put it inside of a pill capsule so i can insta-eat it

>>17316042
Would be even better if you can get the tube directly down into the stomach to bypass any potential gag reflex.

>>17316042
couldnt this explode your organs

>>17316074
That's the idea

>>17316074
It will explode your stomach, or you will blow liquid reese out your anus so fast it has a sonic boom

can I get a feeding tube surgically installed, blend it into a liquid, then plunge it all into my stomach in one second

>>17316116
OP said it has to go through your throat, so no.

I would actually just fuck it.

>>17315296
I'd say that's a fairly normal Reese's cup for your average trick or treater

>>17316042
This man watched American Gokkun 3

>>17316298
>Man who sticks dick in peanut butter is fucking nuts

>>17315296
I'd promise some scientist 1 million to compress it into a normal sized pill, and then swallow it instantly. Boom, easy $9 million

>>17315965
You have to eat it though, liquidizing it wouldn't count.

>>17315296
am i allowed to have milk or water?

>>17315965
>>17315976
Ideally put it through your nose.

>>17316720
Issue there is volume through such a narrow tube

It would need a lot of force to push through the entire reeses cup quickly

Mouth/throat just seems the more sensible choice, you'd just have to deal with a thicc tube in your throat which is a minor thing to deal with for a few million dollars.

>>17315310
>cram it
up your ass?

>>17315315
Define throat

>>17315315
Im gonna make a reeses smoothie then

>>17315296
wtf, I'll probably finish it within 10 seconds but money is money I guess, that could be helpful in helping me pay off some debt

>>17315315
I'd roll it into a tube shape and deep throat it

>>17315296
I've always wanted to eat one of these, but I've been too intimidated

>>17315296
I bought a pack in Malta this summer to try it, it's puke inducing.

I'll just wait 30 seconds before beginning to eat it so I can get the maximum payout (still miss some cents gained if waited longer but I'm not gonna worry about cents when I just got $19,960,938)

>>17315296
American chocolate tastes like puke.

I'd put it in a small plastic bag and swallow it. That way it wouldn't touch my throat, and I'd earth the $10 mil without having to taste vomit.

>>17315296
Probably in 5 seconds.

>>17315296
>eating peanut butter fast
yeah right bro. but like hell if i don't give it my all.

>>17315965
if you bypass your mouth the clock never starts because there's no contact and now you have to get a new big reeses
what are you retarded?

>>17315296
If i tried this I would just end up with a penny and a puddle of vomit.

>>17315296
i will just enjoy the delicious reeses peanut butter cup :)

>>17316042
how much of an improvement would this be

>>17317018
>today we will professional test your blade
>it will not "keel"

>>17316939
Based but I think you'll need some of that payoff to get the surgery afterwards.

>>17315965
Lawyer here, "eat" implies chewing.
You've violated the rules and they're not going to tell you until you're done drinking the snack.

>>17317130
Are you the same lawyer from all the Saw threads on /tv/? Sounds like it. I wouldn't trust this guy

>>17315965
>>17315976
>>17316042
>>17316069
>>17316116
>>17316801
that doesn't qualify as eating

>>17315328
That itself is the reward

>>17317137
Lol no, I remember those threads when the last movie came out.

>>17315296
I'm gonna guess like 10-15 seconds?

>>17316450
Kek never heard this before

Based dad joke

>>17316425
Good to see a fellow distinguished man of taste here.

>>17315296
Before he ever said a word I would have snatched the cup from his hand and engulfed it (I'm quite fond of Reese's peanut butter cups).
Therefore, my time would be approx. negative 2 seconds; as such, he will pay me:
$10m (+1sec) + $20m (0 sec) +$40m (-1 sec) +$80m (-2 sec) = $150,000,000
Can I have the other big Reese's peanut butter cup in the package, too?

>>17315296
is it considered taboo to eat a peanut butter cup whole? i did this once and my friends gave me shit about it for days.

>>17317300
*Upon further reflection, I should be paid not $150 but $160 million [$10m*(2^4)].

>>17316450
>Man with hands in his pockets feel cocky

>>17317068
Infinite food glitch