/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>17224514
That has never happened to me. I don't have access to these American foods

>>17224514
Costco dogs are delicious, not sure what's wrong with you. Plus you get a ton of bread from the bun, maybe you're adding too many condiments?

For me it's Panda Express or divey hibachi/Chinese. Shit it right out and hungry an hour later. Which is a shame, because it's delicious.

That's not how digestion works. Chances are, if you're the type of person to have such a familiarity with fast foods that you have a theory about which ones make you shit more, you probably just have fucked up bowel movements all the time and are just blaming it on the last piece of trash you shoved in your mouth

>>17224514
Are you drinking a lot of soda with it? Too much sugar can make you poop. Never had that issue with the hot dog when having water to drink with it.

>>17224532
I didn’t say they weren’t delicious. I’m saying eating them is an immediate 20 min commitment to the toilet

>>17224552
I have 2 large Pepsis with every hot dog

Based CostCutters

>>17224541
the same retards that talk about this are always blaming takeout, so it's their terrible diet 365 causing it

>>17224514
Some people say White Castle burgers, but for me the projectile shits happen every time like clockwork if its a big mac or whopper. Go figure, White Castle never gave me the shits.

>#restaurant causes massive shits
I've literally never had this happen to me. I expect it's a symptom of an overall shitty diet vs. any singular restuarant. When everything you consume is low-fiber, overly-processed garbage, it wreaks havoc on your guts. If you maintain a healthy diet then the occasional indulgence isn't going to cause any problems.

>>17224514
Pretty much everything. I got that hyperbowel, anything is liquid shit within an hour

>>17224725
Fiber is what women eat. If it’s not pure protein I won’t touch it

>>17224733
Cool story, gaylord.

Pure preteen action

>>17224514
Sonic, ate there once and almost shit my pants

These things are pretty good but salty. If you soak in water and stab with a fork twice it's much better. If you get it from the Costco Restaurant tear off all the bread as you eat because bread is shit food and will make you fat.

>>17224514
The first time I had mcdonalds after like 15 years of not having some I got one of the most extreme urges to shit I've ever experienced. I got like a couple of big macs or something and 45 minutes later I had to take a shit at the side of the road because I physically couldn't hold the shit anymore. It also happened to me once after drinking some colombian coffee but to a lesser extent

>>17224854
There is some truth to this. Our bodies build up immunity and tolerance to trash food, but if you stop eating it you lose it. So if you ever go back to it, it will blow out your insides

>>17224514
That's a symptom of overeating, not anything special about fast food. That said anything with lots of cheap ground beef and dehydrated onions is likely to cause gas so if you're looking to turn your toilet into a splatter park White Castle is a solid option.

>>17224514
Anything extremely hot like pic rel

Most pork foods I will violently shit out within hours.

>>17224514
You should probably see a doctor. There is literally nothing in a Costco hotdog which would cause that sort of gastrointestinal distress unless you have some sort legit of allergy/sensitivity.

>>17224514
mcdonalds milk shake

>>17224938
Who is this?

Yes I'm a coomer.

chinese buffet

south korean instant noodles. no matter the brand for some reason it always gets me very sick.

>>17224514
My shits are always incredibly dense. I also go 3-4 days between shits

>>17224514
For me, it's Waffle House chili. So good with the Worcestershire sauce, but it goes through like a bullet.

>>17224514
when i used to work out regularly, ~4 hour RTT were not uncommon. i even asked about it during A&P

>>17224514
Qdoba, both immediate and bloody

It only happens if I get the Cholula chicken though
I always get the Cholula chicken

>>17224514
I've had Chipotle twice and both times I diarrhead it out an hour or two later.

>>17224921
oh shit. i bought these thinking since they were for sale of a white people grocery they wouldnt actually be hot.

it was like being raped from the inside.

>>17225610
>2x spicy
>bomb in birds hand
The warnings were there bro. What else do you need?

>>17224514
instant noodles, my body can't digest something so processed so it just shits it out after a few hours, sucks because I do like instant ramen

>>17224514
>just a ton of pickle relish and diced onion
seems a bit much, does it taste anything else than pickle and onion?

>>17224514
>Costco hotdogs
sucks to be you. never once had a problem. loved their polish dog with everything on it.
>chipotle
never had a problem with their food don't get the hate. other than it's boring.
>taco bell
same thing no problems.
>mexican food in general has always had a joke about eating and shitting.
never once had a problem.

in the past I never got the shits when eating anywhere or any ethnic food. Dunkin' donuts slushy coffee whatever it's called is one exception. way too much sugar.

however since I got past 50 all sorts of spicy foods I had no problems eating suddenly mess me up. hot wings, super spicy anything. though taking a pepto bismol tablet with them seems to fix that.

I got the runs from eating potato salad at the buffet of a Spearmint Rhino once.

>>17225401
>be me ten years ago
>drinking opium like it's nothing
>eat every day but fear the shit time which came about every two weeks
>when you feel it coming, it can be described as a bunch of needles moving through your intestines
>a true shitshow ensues. You push so hard that some capillaries burst in your eyes
>sometimes need to use a handle of a spoon to get the shit out
Fun times, but never again.

>>17224514
Ball park nachos.
You don't buy them, you only rent them haha

Last time a meal gave me the urgent, immediate need to go was Long John Silver's. That deep fried fish and hush puppies went through me like a high speed train.

>>17224541
>That's not how digestion works
Yes it is. Your body can immediately reject something.

>>17226518
Not from Long John Silver's, but last time I had fish and chips I had a stomach all night.

>>17226518
Seconding this. I enjoy the place, but that shit is super greasy and I know it’s going to ruin me after eating it

>>17224514
Food doesn't just fly out of your ass after you eat it. It cant, its impossible. If you have to shit after eating then it's because you've triggered the nerve that makes your colon want to release the shit that's already in your ass. I get this when I eat a huge, greasy meal so I know exactly what you mean. But you're just emptying what's already there. Sorry to dispel your fantasy of shoving a hotdog down your throat while you sit on the toilet and immediately pounding it explosively out your ass like you're sitting on a shit-fueled rocket blasting off into outer shit-space.

>>17226752
He said within the span of 30 minutes, not literally after shoving it in your mouth

>>17224541
I had really bad bowel movements no more than 3 hours after eating at some places. Once I stopped it stopped happening. Even with a much better overall diet than the one I have now it just ripped through me and it's a complete non issue now even when eating really unhealthy foods.

>>17226068
>hot wings, super spicy anything
Could be acid reflux.

The last time I ate Mcdolanad's with my husband and kid I got sick off one bite of a Fish Fil Ay

I once let a nigger fart in my mouth for $50.

>>17224514
In-N-Out, 3x2 with fries and drink literally comes as liquid brown shit within 20 minutes of consumption.

>>17226752
Normally I go 5-6 days between shits. Yet any time I make this mistake of eating a Whopper, I’m on the toilet within 15 minutes

>>17224514
How fast do you eat and how many times do you chew your food?

>>17224854
Maybe don't have two shit burgers when it's your first time back on the grease.

Try one next time, fatass

Shrimp. Doesn’t matter where it’s from or what kind. Every single time it destroys my asshole within an hour. And I can’t digest the tails well so they always come out the same way they went in

>>17227343
You should try removing the tails.

>>17224541
You say that, but ive absolutely shit out food I ate 2 or 3 hours prior. How did I know? I always look at my shit, and it was in my shit. I also poop like 3 times a day.

>>17227352
They are crunchy though

>>17227352
And look like a child in public? Maybe I should have my mom their to cut the crust off my kids meal PBJ too

>>17224514
None but every time my mom brings me a starbucks coffee from happy hour I shit my brains out. Despite being dairy free

>>17226886
You still can't pass food from mouth to anus in that amount of time. Please stop being retarded.

>>17227477
I have crohns and when I was flaring food would most certainly pass through me in an hour

>>17225932
But don't you like Pooing too anon? Think of it as a win win as long as you're in the House. Treat yourself to some Noodles.

>>17227374
u retarded or just pretending?
serious question, i can't tell anymore

>>17224816
Say what now?

>>17224733
explains why you suck all that dick

happens to me every time i order kebab.

>>17228718
solution simple

remove kebab

>>17224514
You may have a digestive disorder. Its also important to note that you're not shitting out this hotdog, you're shitting out something farther down the line that you are previously.

>>17227477
Anytime I had grocery salad bar in less than 1hr there were visible bits of lettuce in the toilet. Stop trying to convince people their first-hand experiences didn't happen

>>17226532
Yes, its called vomiting.

Chipotle always. I have a sensitivity to soy which they use as oil and maybe something else, buts a guaranteed bowel flush.

>>17224514
I'm an alcoholic so i usually have diarrhea, but whenever i eat Chinese i take huge solid dumps for some reason.

>>17228741
I have a violent soy allergy and soybean oil is so pure that it contains none of the proteins to cause sensitiviy/reaction. The only exception is "expeller pressed" which is essentially just crushed soy beans that hasn't had the oil purified.

>>17228744
Same. Its like the chinese food buffers the harshness of the alcohol in my systems.

>>17228737
Salad bars are disease breeding grounds. Your body will expedite that out of your ass to limit your sickness

>>17224514
If I get a Jimmy Johns kosher dill pickles, I will have a loose shit within 20 minutes every time. Sometimes I order one when I want to have a good shit.

I don’t think I have had a solid shit in 5 years. I always have to hold my farts because I know most of them will have a trail of shit behind them

>>17224514
none, my guts work properly and I shit only once or twice a day in the morning

>>17224938
That's a boy, but I don't care.

>>17224514
That's not possible. Your intestines are like 20 feet long.

>>17225075
That's a dude. How does that make you feel?

Soylent green always splurges out of my ass yeah

>>17229585
>>17229862
Delusional
>>17225075
Summer Grayton, although it looks like she deleted a lot of her old stuff and her current stuff is mostly paywalled
https://twitter.com/summergrayton

>>17224514
it's salt giving you diarrhea

>>17229842
That can’t be right I’m only 6 feet tall

>>17228731
havent had any in years

>>17224514
Their subs always tear right through me.

>>17224532
>Panda Express
This! I had the shits for hours after eatting there

>>17227145
nah they give me the shits something furious.

Do Americans have to live every day considering what food will give them explosive shit?

>>17224514
How many hotdogs would you say you eat?

>>17231081
No less than 70 in one sitting

>>17230281
Firehouse must be slang for rectum.

>>17224514
consume a monster energy drink
preferably zero ultra
I take a shit within an hour after downing an energy drink.

Love 'em, but they are a guaranteed ticket to the toilet not long afterwards.

>>17229930
Thank you!

>>17229862
Really? How do you know?

>>17224514
for some reason this item gave me the shits on more than one occasion. I just stopped ever going to del taco after the second time

>>17224514
The subway near my house. Only went there once, but I could immediately tell the ingredients seemed off. Some meat that looked like grey rubber, wilting salad, some sort of disgusting egg... product? Whole place was basically being run by this fucking 60 year old hispanic woman who moved at a glacier tier speed. Anyways, got a roast beef sub since the meat actually had some color in it. Bad idea. Was shitting my guts out for the next hour, 20min after finishing the sub. Fuck you subway.

>>17224514
do Americans really have food like that?

>>17231969
No it's fake

>>17231969
That’s what we eat for first lunch on an average day

>>17224514
>These are like a tactical missile that rips right through your insides to reach your anus
>rips right through your insides to reach your anus
>rips right through your insides
>your insides
>your
Imagine having so shit of a constitution that you can't stomach an actually good hotdog and need to project it onto everyone else.
You're just weak anon, remove yourself from the genepool.

>>17231196
>the whitest kids he apparently doesn't know

>>17224514
Anything with any amount of fat in it. Living without a gallbladder is annoying when it is time to eat.

Every once in a while one of these will come out the other end of me completely intact an hour after eating it.

>>17234396
Must hurt when the big round part comes out

>>17224514
Hey can anyone tell me what exactly is a polish sausage like what they had at costco? I like sausages a lot, and everyone talks about how good this one is, so I want to try making one myself. But I don't know what type of sausage to buy, if I google polish sausage all I get is kielbasa

>>17234849
bump sorry i really need to know
i even have appaaratus to make sausage and can make sausage i you tell me what it sausage it is

>>17224514
Not really a “fast food” but any Chinese Buffet makes me have to have an explosive shit within 10-15 minutes after eating

>>17231081
These guys and Balloon Shop, pure kino.

>>17226752
>>/lit/ is down the hall and to your left, Anon.

>>17227360
You should probably see a doctor.

>>17234849
costco sold hebrew national hotdogs and polish sausages.

My shits have been liquid every time for the past few years. Don’t know why people are so insistent on solid shit. The liquid kind comes out way easier and faster

>>17227317
thats unhealthy as fuck bro

>>17224541
OP is morbidly obese

>>17224532
I'm guilty of loving the orange chicken with the Beijing beef

A cup of coffee and a bowl of Steak N Shake chili will give me an explosive dookie in about 20 minutes

>>17224514
I had never experienced this until last year.
Taquieria San Miguel in San Luis Obispo.
I got a basic bitch asada burrito, and ~20-30 minutes later had me on the toilet with burning diarrhea multiple times. I would get up, walk around a bit, and then feel the need to shit some more.
The burrito wasn't even that great.

>>17236713
thats the best combo by far

>>17227317
How's that opioid addiction treating you?

>>17224514
None, and if this happens to you then Im sorry for your atrocious health and fragility.

>>17236639
You shouldn’t have to shit multiple times a day, that’s not normal and if you aren’t a neet is wasteful to your employer

Only had it happen once because of salad bar food poisoning.
>eating
>hmm this tastes a little funny but not bad I’m sure it’s fine
>main course arrives
>UH OH
>bathroom is full because I’m not the only one suffering
>run out of the building and have a diarrhea explosion on the sidewalk
>probably would have made less of a mess if I just sharted my pants
The sounds could have woke the dead. Thankfully it was nighttime

>>17237006
Somewhere there is CCTV footage of that.

>>17237006
>sounds could have woke the dead

>>17237006
Imagine walking along and slipping in someones doodoo explosion

>>17227267
Had this same exact order last night except with chopped chillis

Olive Garden. I have a 20 minute window to get home after putting my fork down. I was there with a group of friends once and nearly shit my pants while they argued over who owed what. I finally just put it on my card. I refuse to shit in public.

>>17238571
>I refuse to shit in public.
autism

>>17224514
Thus the nickname, "Sliders". Because they slide through your colon. Get it?

I would eat them when drunk. At first, it's like mana from heaven, then 20 minutes later come the stomach cramps, then the run to the toilet.

I ate at raising canes today and I just can’t stop shitting. It’s not diarrhea either, I have been cutting off huge logs for the past few hours and each one burns coming out

white castle sliders and subway sandwiches in my experience

>>17224514
Are you saying foods that make you shit instantly? Well, let me confess you something: I have a gastrointestinal disorder. Anything I eat makes me poop almost immediately. I was also born with a very low tolerance to sugar and milk derivates. My bowel cannot form stool masses properly, so I usually only partially shit what I ate before. Even if I go a whole day without food, my stomach will be ready to shit after a single grape. This obviously has made me miserable during all my childhood. There are still times in my life when it comes to choosing food only according to how easy it is to poop it later. Pumpkin puree, chestnuts, plain white rice... That's all I could eat without any major problems. But once, when I was 14, I went to sleep at a friend's house. His mom brought us oatmeal cookies, chocolate milk and popcorn before sleep time. I immediately discarded cookies because I always hated oatmeal. But temptation overcame me, since I had never tasted chocolate milk before. I was optimistic about the good treatment I was receiving from the people in his house. My friend stuffed handfuls of popcorn in his mouth and drank huge gulps of chocolate milk right in front of me. So I decided to prove chocolate milk as a deeply philosophical act. I will never forget the creamy, full-bodied texture of it. For a second it was like I was kissing a young latina, a true delicacy to my lips and tongue. Adrenaline made the experience even sweeter, I guess. Forty seconds later my stomach started making such a loud noise that my friend took off running and calling for his mom. When she arrived I was painfully moaning like a werewolf. Shit dripped down my pajamas in a monstrous and unbelievable way. The only thing I remember was his little sister crying as she was quickly led away from the room. There was a straight 5m liquid-shit trail to the bathroom. My dad was called. I passed away in the shower. Can't forget the shame, the screams, the smell.

>>17241160
>I passed away in the shower
Then who typed this?

>>17227360
>You say that, but ive absolutely shit out food I ate 2 or 3 hours prior. How did I know? I always look at my shit, and it was in my shit. I also poop like 3 times a day.
Nigga

>>17241324
>when I was 14
can't you read retard?

>>17227360
>2 or 3 hours later
and OP said 30 mins you illiterate fuck

>>17242733
unless OP has replaced most of his colon and intestines with a drainpipe, nothing he eats will be shat out in 30 minutes. he might eat something which causes him to shit out whatever he had previously eaten but that's it. maybe he's getting confused from that time he used hot dogs for assplay and enjoyed the feel of them sliding in and out of his ass

>>17242590
>I was only 14 when i died lol
Do you get a respawn or some shit at that age?

When I season my beef stew with epson salt I get projectile diarrhea almost immediately

>>17224514
one time I made some popcorn and had this butter spray in a can and i sprayed a ton on my popcorn and kept spraying more every time i had a handful id spray some then munch it down. then i had one of the most painful diarrheas in my entire life i felt like I was dying my guy felt like it was being destroyed

>>17225401
eat more fiber you fatass

>>17227360
Literally impossible. You are shitting out something you ate much earlier that's been sticking around because you have poor digestion. Two to three hours is barely enough time for food to even leave your stomach dipshit.

>>17224514
This has never happened to me. I used to eat a bunch of Taco Bell too, and I never had these explosive shits people talk about. Odds are your digestion is fucked and you blame stupid shit like this instead of seeing a doctor. You probably have colon cancer or some other shit related to your gay love life.

>>17244213
Oh look at mr medical expert here

>>17224514
the hot dogs are fine for me. it's the fountain drink. the machines aren't cleaned with soap and water. the nozzles are just soaked in fizzy water.

>>17244558
Seems like whenever they do wash those they do it wrong and then your drink tastes like dirty soap

>>17244537
food takes about 12 hours to go from your mouth to your asshole.

>>17245997
And cock takes 10 seconds to go from your asshole to your mouth

>>17224514
i don't know i haven't had diarrhea in a long time. i wonder if it's due to my new habit of taking health supplements. right now i take nearly 20 supplements. stuff like vitamin e, vitamin c, ubiquinol, vitamin k2, bilberry, etc.

just recently have started a probiotic that has ox bile and dandelion in it.

Some nasty hot and sour soup. I had just moved so I didn't yet know which chink places were good and which were sketchy. Had to spend the rest of my weekend unpacking my new house in between bouts of painful diarrhea.

>>17224514
>my anus 0.5 seconds after finishing a heat level 5 plate of curry from the thai restaurant

>>17224514
kek I have never had this happen to me. Were you formula fed or something?

>>17248487
>formula is …..le bad!

>>17224514
That isn't how digestion works. You're saying you see hot dog chunks in your shit?

>>17249151
You're multiple levels of retarded. Almost koala level.

>>17224514
This stuff may as well be exlax.

The only think I've ever ingested that seems to cause subsequent shitting is coffee

>>17250005
>chunks
No, the entire formed hot dog

>>17224514
anon you need to see a doctor and take some anti-inflation medicine for your intestate.

When I was a manager at BK, I'd eat a couple croissan'wiches on the rare days I opened. I would always be on the toilet in an hour or two, and I'm typically a once-a-morning shitter.

This thread is fun

Doesn’t give me the shits but any kind of cheese revs up my fart cannon something fierce. I don’t think I’m lactose intolerant though

I had to travel to Brazil once and minutes after eating something there I was destroying a toilet

>>17225351
Based Jenposter.

>>17226351
good lord, and here i thought one or two days of constipation were bad.

>>17235346
Can't believe Peter got a young cutie

>>17241160
sorry anon but i almost died of laughter

>>17224514
the 'pepsi' next to it wasn't lost on me haha, pretty apt

>>17241160
I have leukemia and due to treatment I now suffer the same fate as you buddy, though I don't have such stories to tell. My most horrible fuck up was shitting my pants in the city center. I had to wait until it gets dark with the liquid shit in my pants so that nobody sees me, then walk for an hour till I made it home. It's better than dying

Most of my shit logs are so long and dense they won’t even flush

McNuggets. Last time I had them I had to pull over 10 minutes later and shit at a local pizza place. Horrible, liquid green shit, like my whole stomach had just emptied out of my anus.
>inb4 you have stomach issues
Yup, Crohn's. I've never had this happen with anything else though, and I eat McDonald's semi-frequently. Something about McNuggets specifically is just poison to me.

>>17234396
Same, but that doesn't stop me from loving them. Harvest Bowl with blackened chicken is probably the best salad-thing I've ever had. If it was every time I might not eat them, but it's rare enough that it's worth it.

>>17247756
>I had just moved so I didn't yet know which chink places were good and which were sketchy
this was me at my current residence. What I didn't yet realized was that every single Asian restaurant near me was inedible.

>eat at restaurant
>destroy toilet in different restaurant
The ultimate alpha move

It really fast food, but every time I have shakshuka I immediately have diarrhea

>>17224816
I don't know what elementary school you're hanging out at but eating preteen pussy shouldn't make you sick.

>>17229930
but her face

>>17224527
Then why are you in here asshole?

>>17247127
youre a faggot retard

>>17255748
It’s amusing reading all the stories of how frequently Americans shart their pants

>>17256707
Well next time you come to the states, well be sure to hold you down and shart on your face