/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>17160721

>>17160728
back in a the day I really liked mizore from rosario vampire so I had the clever idea of putting one in the freezer before use

>>17160728
Jej

>>17160742
go on…

>>17160728
I got one of those and it's upsettingly heavy and large. I get what minimalists mean about possessions taking up space in your psyche now. It weighs on me.

>>17160791
you gotta make it past the boner killing cold desu

>>17160728
Always wondered if these were better than a hand

>>17160923
much better than a hand, some of them better than a vagina, none of them feels as good as real sex. If that makes sense

>>17160923
Ten times better.

>>17161002
Yeah but the clean up has got to be ten times worse as well. It's like when I fuck myself in the arse with my dildo and cum, then I realise I've a dildo in my arse that's got faeces slime on it.

>>17161036
Can you just put it in the dish washer

>>17161045
Nah my mum wasn't happy when I forgot to get it out before she emptied the dishwasher. Apparently it's not very hygienic

>>17161036
what a delightful image

>>17160832
Try mashed potato mashed with butter and a little milk and also an egg yolk. Stir in some chopped scallions. Spoon into sandwich maker and let it cook. Delicious.

>>17161060
Love is love, bigot chud.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaOsX-vwKLw

>>17161133
thanks for the education comrade

>>17160728
>awful
How do you keep you got dogs warm when you sneak them into the baseball game?

>>17160728
slice it up and put it in a sushi roll

>>17160728
I shouldn't have laffed at this but I did....

>>17160728
I bought one at the start of the pandemic, if I wasn't getting laid before I definitely wouldn't be getting laid with everyone stuck inside.
First thing I noticed, I got the wrong size, I got an "average". It's clear the clientele are of a seperate size than the global standard.
Felt fucking great, 10/10 nut. Would cure death grips no problem.

1/10 for cleaning up. Shit takes forever to clean, if you live with ANYONE other than yourself and a pet you can't just go Washing it in the sink. So I had to wash it in secret and it took forever. You spend more time cleaning than nutting by like 4x. It's a bad trade off.
As someone once said, "masterbating is fine and natural, but if you start planning it...then it's an issue." Which is what you'd need to do. Usually a wack off session lasts 10 maybe 30 minutes. But a flesh light will have to waste an hour.

I haven't used it since.

>>17161275
based stroke poster

>>17161036
L O N D O N
O
D
N
O
N

>>17162434
I just kind of stretch it over the shower head and turn the water on.
I agree about the fleshlight though, horrible to clean, i threw mine out.

>>17162439
>TYPO THEREFORE STROKE

>>17162466
>how do you keep you got
yup. im thinking stroke poster

>>17160728
You can keep your change in the and nobody will find it, pretty useful honestly.

>>17161036
Tenga flip holes are great for cleanup. They clamshell open to wash and store hinged open on the slide clamp to air dry. They cum in different texture patterns like different obstacle courses for your peepee head.

>>17162502
>How do you keep you got dogs warm
>How do you keep your hot dogs warm
Typo, not grammatical substitution.

>>17162434
I just turn mine inside out. Its easier now since I got a cheapo and the uterus prolapsed and fell out.

jesus christ nuke this thread

>>17160832
Jaffle makers are based.
Canned spaghetti and cheese is the bomb.
Make sure to butter the out side to prevent sticking.

>>17163018
>They cum in different texture patterns like different obstacle courses for your peepee head.
except you literally dont feel those
it's a marketing gimmick

>>17160923
>Always wondered if these were better than a hand
Not sure what was posted but my gf got me a fleshlight for my birthday after I joked about them. They are better than your hand because you know exactly what your hand feels like whereas this brings some novelty to the activity.

The fleshlight I got at least is on the large size. Not the dick part just the whole unit, it is much bigger than expected. A couple times I put it between the mattresses and fucked it like that, pretty cool to be honest. If I was single or a permavirgin I would 100% invest in these things because they really are better although don't get weird about it and start building a collection and naming them and thinking they are better than the real thing.

There is also the whole "cum and close 18 tabs, cancel 9 downloads" phenomenon but in this case you're left with a cum filled object to clean. I've left them aside for 10 minutes or so and then used it while still filled with cum and that was pretty cool. I was trying to reduce my refractory time so I could do the same with my gf. But I digress.

How about a salad shooter?
As seen on TV and about as useless that can happen.

>>17165073
Don't you have to clean those weird things? Just get a girlfriend and she as long not some street hooker will clean herself. Why deal with the hassle?

>>17165130
>no extra bowls to clean
imagine trying to give that thing a wash

>>17165142
>Don't you have to clean those weird things? Just get a girlfriend
Did you not read my post? Yes you have to clean them and yes I have a gf, she bought it for me.

Sometimes a guy wants to jerk off for whatever reason: gf isn't around, isn't in the mood or what have you. It's a small hassle to clean it and sometimes I'll pull out and jerk off elsewhere so it is an easier clean (just lube). But it feels different and in most ways better than jerking off with your hand.

I don't use it that much though.

>>17165162
You might as well put your dick in a salad shooter and go for broke, don't knock her up or marry the bitch but then maybe it's too late.

>>17165162
If right handed, gotta use your left hand sometimes.

>>17165130
Eh. Maybe if you do a lot of slicing them maybe

>>17165176
kek get a gf bro.

>>17165208
There's always ginsu knifes.
Made in Japan and folded 500000 times.

>>17165217
Easier said than done. I'm not really the looker.

>>17165225
Neither am I really. Get in decent shape, work on your social skills, put yourself out there and be ambitious with your career.

>>17165217
Cute chicks just want to be seen, that's what they exist for and I'm the exact opposite of that.

>>17165237
>Cute chicks just want to be seen
Then don't go for cute chicks and find your niche.

>>17165232
Career? I don't care about that and never did, but I make a lot of money as a consultant/contractor. Only chicks care about silly bullshit. I stopped caring about that bullshit a long time ago.

>>17165245
Ugly chicks are useless and generally fat libtards.

>>17165256
>I make a lot of money
Then you shouldn't have a problem getting women.

>>17165245
Who in their right mind wants to fuck a fat ugly loud bitch?

>>17165260
I didn't say go for ugly girls. But maybe you should consider this option because it sounds like you need to have realistic expectations and deprogram your learned childhood delusion that you are special and shouldn't compromise or settle for anything less than the best because you are mommy's special guy.

>>17165263
It's not about that, money is the easy part. Once you get a little older you see how dishonest bitches are, they want to pump out kids, it's engrained into most of them from birth. It's very rare to find one that's not stupified by hollywood crapola and that's not already married.

>>17165269
My mom is dead so I'm not special anything and know it.

Only a stupid moron makes minimum wage.

>>17165274
>they want to pump out kids, it's engrained into most of them from birth.
Yeah that's a good thing. The problem is most don't want to until they are well into their 30s because they've been fooled into thinking that the universe including their own biology operates on their time and desires.

If I was single right now I would be looking for a woman in her mid-late 20s who wants children sooner than later. I'd shack up with her for a year or so to learn how she really is and if she is tolerable I would start a family.

>>17165285
They're fucking blacks but then want white people to pay for their niglets.
It's just not happening.

>>17165289
I didn't say get with a single mother coalburner kek

people with this false dichotomy perspective inevitably have delayed maturation and lack of life experiences. This is why you don't have a woman, it's not because all women are evil and conniving. It's all on you and they can see these red flags even during casual social interactions. Can you blame them? Women might be generally vapid and annoying but they usually have a strong maternal instinct that eventually kicks in and this makes them pick a mate that can in some way provide or produce healthy children. So they use metrics like physical attractions, wealth, power, popularity and other attributes to assess potential mates. If you cannot provide any of these things and are basically a socially retarded bitter manchild then why would they give you the time of day? You can't blame them because from an evolutionary perspective it is logical.

>>17165285
Good luck on that, make sure you do a proper history search on her and she's what she's been fucking before you came along.

>>17165317
I can blame dishonety with all honesty.
Without a doubt. I don't fuck blacks and I don't knock chicks up.

>>17165317
Here you go, take your pick most offer a free week for free.
https://www.sltrib.com/sponsored/2021/10/01/best-background-check/
Check the bitch out before marrying her or getting her preggo. Especially do a criminal background check.

>>17165130
slicer and shredder. It does 2 things.

>>17165317
Do a civil check too, if you marry her then you'll be responsible for her outstanding bills and obligations. Don't trust some chick just because she spreads her legs for you.