/ck/ - Food & Cooking

My dad cooks kielbasa in his trousers, just using the body heat generated by his crotch and trapped by a pair of pleated wool slacks. It's really weird, and I've never even heard of or seen anyone else do it like that. Other than that both my parents are pretty good cooks.

>>17089722
my dad has awful eating habbits and cant cook for shit
>has a whole drawer full of candy garbage: cookies, rice crackers, snickers bars, chocolate variations, all the kraft/ferrero unhealthy garbage
>regularly eats a whole pack of any of them during a movie in the evening
>always keeps shitty neon meat ribs drenched in syrupy garbage sauce from the discounter in the frdige
>recently made a "healthy" salad when i was over (some lettuce, tomatoes and a can of tuna + juice, all drenched in oil or whatever)
>when i was a kid he made roasted potatoes once, all of them burned

My dad wasn't comically bad but I remember when his idea of a meal sometimes was to fry ten eggs (damn good eggs though) and we'd just eat that for dinner.

I thought maybe they were bad cooks but when I grew up I realized my dad was just a schizophrenic with horrible GERD and my mom was depressed and overworked supporting him. So I really don’t care how good of cooks they were.

>>17089873
>shitty neon meat ribs drenched in syrupy garbage sauce
what?

I seriously wonder if the constant “my parents can’t cook” stuff on /ck/ is just everybody-clapped-tier fiction, or if I’m the only one on this damn board who didn’t grow up with absolute shit parents.

my dad once put a block of frozen ground turkey straight from the freezer into a saucepan with no oil or fat over a burner set to high

>>17089889
That anon is a BBQ champion.
His ribs are smoked for 3 weeks over endangered wood and his sauce uses spices that were found as burial offerings in a pharaoh’s tomb.
Or he’s just an insufferable faggot.

>>17089892
Shitty parenting is how you end up on this website so it's overrepresented. I'm here because a friend showed me /b/ back in 09 and I got hooked.

My dad could grill some burgers or steaks fine, but that's about it. Would usually take a bowl of cereal over his >>>scrambled eggs.

>>17089889
>>17089901
>neon meat = cheap low quality meat marinated in cheap, brightly colored "sauce"
the ribs are of poor quality and they are drenched in syrup.
my dad then puts them on the grill without removing any of the "syrup" marinade and they are burned, artificiually tasting and not that tender. just taste like complete trash.

Speaking of ribs.

>dad buys a $2,000 Traeger smoker
>buys the precooked trash ribs from the deli counter at the store
>tosses them in the smoker for hours until they're basically barbecue flavored charcoal

Every holiday, every family cookout, every gathering, there he is with a plate of carbon-on-bone confused and angry that nobody wants to eat any of the ribs he worked so hard to ruin.

>>17089982
lol.

Are they just super super chewy or are they genuinely burnt?

>>17089982
How the fuck.... a traeger is made for retarded lazy millennials to get onboard the smoked meats trend with

>>17089982
>Every holiday, every family cookout, every gathering, there he is with a plate of carbon-on-bone confused and angry that nobody wants to eat any of the ribs he worked so hard to ruin.

Your dad just wants some praise, to see his boy and family smile like they used to when he was the man of the home. Be kind to him, eat the ribs, a father who tries is one of life's greatest gifts.

>>17089722
>Boomer parents "grey" meat on medium and drain all the water out.
>Unironically say black pepper makes things "spicy".
>Thinking cooking food on low in a crockpot for 4 hours is enough to finish a stew/chilli
>All of the meat they cook is beyond well done and dry beyond belief.
>Think food is bad if it sits in the refrigerator for more than 2 days.
>All of the vegetables they eat are from a can, boiled beyond and sane rime frame and smothered in margarine.
Bros I cant fucking take it anymore!

>>17089722
Everything my grandma makes

>tries to make chicken
>comes out bone dry every time, even when she boils it

>tries to make pies
>the stuffing is bland and the bread is soggy

>tries to make soup
>veggies taste disgusting and the meat is bland as shit

>gets annoyed when i don't eat her shitty "food"

>>17090000
if his family would love him for it, a man should learn how to use a fucking timer

>>17089722
You can't mash paper into wallpaper paste without a blender. Unless you add too much cream or butter, which you shouldn't use at all because it makes the mash less fluffy in any quantity. Just a bit of salt is all you should add.

My grandfather is a bit odd when it comes to cooking. He watches a lot of cooking shows yet only seems to pull the most nonsensical "tips" from them.

>Leaves a bunch of the starchy water in his mashed potatoes """for flavor""""
they're always very wet and runny like watered down baby-food. Does not hold up to gravy.

>Has an entire spice-rack, uses nothing
Taste testing their chicken soup is like consuming fat-water. There is no flavor besides the fat that seeped from the chicken. They never use any seasoning at all unless a recipe explicitly tells them to.

my parents awful cooking spurred my spitefilled drive towards becoming a professional cook lmao

>>17089722
maybe you could give them tips instead of venting to a chinese anime forum about it?

>>17090113
Get her a pressure cooker

>>17090172
bro whenever i try to give my parents tips on cooking they call me ungrateful even when its just "hey if you dont touch the steak it will have better browning" my mom will immediately call me an asshole and tell me she knows more because of age

>>17089873
>neon ribs?

>>17090172
My mother is unique in that she takes any form of gently given criticism as a direct personal attack on who she is.

She's that type of person. My dad is also the type of person who yells at customer service and is very insecure/angry all the time.

>Step Mom moves in
>Heavy Smoker
>Taste buds destroyed
>Everything is over salted and drowned in hot sauce so she can taste something.
>Even the coffee is brewed at an extreme ratio so she can taste it

Guess im cookin for myself boys

My mom makes a really fuckin good chili, lasagna, pork and sauerkraut, and a pretty good grilled cheese but when it comes to steaks or a good pasta sauce she’s terrible. I try to help her from time to time but she gets indignant when I suggest a different approach to how she’s cooking I always get
>”ok mr ramsey thanks for the tip”
Hate being called some a*glo faggot. It doesn’t take extensive training for cooking to know somethings are mistakes when it comes to cooking

>>17090208
so you couldn't handle bantz from your mom and became ass hurt, got it

>>17090195
Trust me, that's not unique. It's typical boomer mentality. Sorry you had such poor examples of human beings growing up.

Anyone making excuses for shitty cooking is either a troll or has the same mindset.

>>17090218
What are you talking about lol I’ve never posted before this you schizo

>>17090279
You must be new here

What is this schizo posting

>>17089722
My dad is awful at cooking, but knows his limits so he doesn't produce any real abominations. He knows how to make fried egg sandwiches, warm up canned pea soup, and make Kraft Dinner. My mom knows what she's doing in the kitchen, but is hampered by being Boomer-brained about salt and fat (ie. tries to minimize them). No one in my family is fat, so I do wish she'd let loose a little.

Oh, and my dad is 100% "not my problem"-pilled on the topic of pouring oil and grease down the drain despite owning both the home and septic tank.

>tfw mom used to cook her shit perfect every time
>tfw she lost her touch
It's not better to have loved and lost, bros. Do you k ow how much it hurts to have delicious cooking ripped from you?? I can cook like her, though.

>>17089892
My mom was okay, just stopped caring so no longer cooks well. Don’t even know how my dad made it this long alive because he can’t even make an egg, it’s sad. You’re also going to get a lot of ppl who, whether they want to admit it or not, became interested in cooking solely because they come from an anti-cooking family. For example my parents sit in front of a tv after work till they sleep, I can’t watch more than 10 minutes of tv before being bored so I read instead.

>>17089722
mum can't flavour things. thinks any salt in the diet will kill you. puts chinese spices in italian food. she's the same with mash potato as OP's. she also only cooks one thing at a time, so usually half of every meal has already gone cold.

>>17090323
Maybe your parents place has lead pipes

>>17090323
You dumbass. The not my problem thing is if you're pouring into apartment or public pipes. If you're just pouring into your own fucking sewage tank it's not exactly edgy now is it.
>HAHA LOOK I SMASHED ALL THE WINDOWS IN MY HOUSE NOT MY PROBLEM LOL!
Moron.

>>17090337
Maybe, it's an old 60s build. That's not why he does it though; he does it either because he doesn't know better, or because it'll become my inheritance before he has to deal with it and is therefore not his problem.

>>17090345
I am acutely aware of that. See above.

>>17090348
No you aren't. The only thing you're aware of is going into damage control mode.

>>17090354
...I don't know how to respond to this type of autism. Please put effort into improving your reading comprehension.

>>17090354
>>17090345

Not even the guy. But, fuck you cant read. Did he say he did it? No he didnt. How can he not do it if he never did it. Fucking tards man. Read it properly before you fly into a spastic rage.

>>17090366
He did actually bitchtits.
>Oh, and my dad is 100% "not my problem"-pilled on the topic of pouring oil and grease down the drain despite owning both the home and septic tank.

>>17090354
you are fucking retarded

>>17089892
Same, anon. Both my parents cooked and it all tasted great. It's sad to see these stories.

>>17089722
>he uses a device that pokes lines of holes in potatoes thinking that it tenderizes the meat
As in a fork?

>>17089722
Yes. My mom was a heavy smoker for most of her youth and stopped when she got me so she's hypersensitive (or so she claims) to spice.
I remember when she wanted to make a local sausage curry. She just put some basic meal sausage in some god damn heavy cream and told me to spice it after it's done.

Technically dad could cook but all he makes is sloppa out of the weirdest stuff. He's quite proud of his banana cheese and ham stew (no veggies)

>>17090450
>hypersensitive
Wouldn't she be desensitized?
>banana cheese and ham stew
Oh God you're Swedish aren't you?

>>17090450
>banana cheese and ham stew
Jesus. Can I ask what country you're from?

>>17089722
>being this young
move out dude fucking hell

>>17090457
She would but she literally shudders at strong tastes. Maybe it is desensitized because she's never really talked about how food tastes.
No, but dad is.
>>17090459
Estonia

>>17089722
I grew up with my grandparents. My gran always cooked quantity over quality and you weren't done eating unless she saw you get a second helpings. Typical midwestern stuff, lot of fatty meat and buttery potatoes, mayo's a vegetable right? Granddad never cooked and the one time he did it was potatoes nuked until it was charcoal. Pretty sure he did that on purpose so he wouldn't be asked to cook again.
There was one time they came out to visit me and we went to find a place to eat. The trendy 50's theme diner they originally wanted had a line around the block. So we went to look for somewhere else. Olive Garden was pretty empty, but they shot it down saying it was too ethnic for them.

>>17089722
My dad buys frozen raw salmon fillets in plastic packaging and cooks them in the microwave while still in the packaging.
My mom doesnt cook and has been eating ""healthy"" packaged food marketed toward middle aged women for her entire life.
Both struggle with being very eccentric and having mental disabilities.
I can't even comprehend what it would be like to have normal parents.

>>17089903
This
probably 80% of the people who regularly frequent this site have absent or type b personality disorder parents.

>>17090172
>give them tips
not everybodys parents are receptive to logic or respecting their children enough to take advice from them

>>17089722
i could tell my dad how to make baja fish tacos and he'd fuck it up

>>17090519
based grandparents correctly identify that italians aren't white

Have any of you told your parents how you felt about their cooking?

Reading this thread, I'm realizing how blessed I am to have a dad who is a genuinely talented cook and a mom who although she doesn't love food, can serve up pretty good meals if she puts some effort in.

>>17090607
I did once and was then severely beaten and forced to live outside for a week.
In winter.

>>17090620
Son? Is that you?

>>17090607
Yes, I chirp my dad about his shitty cooking all the time. My mom makes good food, so I don't complain. You can razz your parents a little and they won't mind if you have a good relationship with them.

>>17089722
they'd be alright if they'd acquire a modicum of knife technique and didn't overcook/burn every fucking thing

My mom's cooking is either really bad or the best shit ever with little to no middle ground.

>>17090000
he could try being less retarded

also checked

>>17090031
>>Unironically say black pepper makes things "spicy".
Did you know that black pepper is the main "spicy" ingredient in KFC hot wings?

>>17090701
get the fuck outta here

>>17090701
He probably has never had fresh ground pepper anon

My mom's cooking varies. She makes very good things although she follows no recipes. She does tend to overcook meats a lot, and will develop the foulest of moods if you criticize her. My grandma could cook really well, and so did my dad. I inherited it from them all, being the best cook my family line has ever had.

>>17089722
>mom regularly leaves rotten food in the fridge
This is what scares me. Before my grandparents died they had all sorts of disgusting shit lying around, some had bugs and stuff. Ig with their old eyes they didn't even notice?

>>17091076
I think they just can't be fucked with cleaning, I've seen way too many old people who live like that.

>>17089929
Have you tried moving out and cooking for yourself?

>>17091081
He implied he did not live with his dad in his older post

>>17091076
>Ig
when did ig come back as an abbreviation for i guess?

>>17090000
well he taught me nothing and kicked me out as soon as he legally could. ill toss the ribs in his face and tell them they are trash everytime.

you know whats a great gift? a father who actually cares about more than himself

>>17089896
I do this with frozen hamburger patties, never had an issue

>>17091081
literal boomer logic

>>17089892
It's just a generational thing, most of the posters here have boomer or gen x parents who grew up in households where it was common to just cook food without any pre preparation like seasoning, marinating or brining. Those generations also didn't have access to millions of recipes and video tutorials like today's kids do so they just did what their parents taught them. I imagine 20 years from now when the predominant parent generation is millenials and zoomers there will be a lot less kids who tell stories of parents "don't know how to cook"

>>17091376
I'd be surprised if that happens, most of the people I know don't even bother to cook and just eat takeout.

>>17089738
thanks for the kek anon

YouTube cooking channels are for entertainment, people watch then but never replicate the recipes. Even less Millenials and Zoomers know how to cook than boomers and GenX. When COVID hit urbanites were melting down on Twitter because there were no restaurants and they didn't know how to make stuff at home.

Reading this thread, I'm kinda glad my parents know how to cook, and they taught me a few things. Still, I don't regret taking 3 years of culinary classes in high school.

>mum tries her best to make fried chicken thighs
>just throws frozen chicken into cold oil
>splatters alot
>she wasn't stubborn about it though, just didn't know much about how to prepare them accordingly
>set her up with a nice recipe where you salt brine them, then give them a coating of mustard, pepper, garlic, and minced onion
>cook it in the air fryer or the oven
>now i'm the one in charge of cooking the turkey at thanksgiving

Despite that, I still have much to learn from her. She's got this great way of making mashed potatoes involving a little sour cream. And my dad's no slouch either. Practically makes perfect sausage rice and beans.

>>17089722
>comically
What you described is borderline criminal anon...

My dad doesn't properly knead hamburgers together because he says that he likes the "texture" of squiggly fresh from the meat grinder ground beef.

my mom is an amazing cook, and my grandma is even better. my dad on the other hand...
He puts the most random shit in foods. never uses any salt. he can't eat meat anymore and doesn't eat carbs but god when he used to cook steak he would get these super thin cuts, and over cook it. it would be dry and chewy. It wasn't until I went to a steak house I discovered how it's actually suppose to be prepared and it was miles better than anything I ever tried I was convinced it was the best food ever.

>>17089738
>The heat from the sausage cooks the sausage

>>17091376
Yeah, I still don’t get it.
My parents are actual, literal boomers. Sure they didn’t have YouTube e-celebs to show them how to cook, and cooking reality shows to show them how to complain about any imperfection as if they were served a dog turd.
But they had recipe and technique books, which were/are available on any conceivable cooking theme or topic. Plus they themselves had parents who always cooked and helping in the kitchen was just one of their chores.
And once you know the practical basics, you can follow a written recipe just fine, and don’t need a video demonstration on how to “sauté onions until brown”.

I’m guessing it must be a gen-X parent thing, especially since most of 4chan uses “boomer” colloquially for “anyone my parents’ age” regardless of when their parents were born.

>when the predominant parent generation is millenials and zoomers there will be a lot less kids who tell stories of parents "don't know how to cook"
Lol I doubt that, friend.
Of course you or I, or anyone else who enjoys cooking enough to hang out on a dedicated internet board would think there’s zero excuse for this to not be the case with how easy and accessible current tech makes everything.
But there’s a shitton of millennials/zoomers who don’t give a fuck about cooking. It’s not fun, it’s not enjoyable, it’s not interesting, and they see it as a chore which they’d rather pay to make easier or just have someone else do it. Same way I’d rather pay a maid to clean my house.
Which is why we’re seeing more convenience foods, not less. And restaurant delivery. And shit like Blue Apron and Hello Fresh where you pay $60 for about $10 worth of groceries.

>>17091431
>When COVID hit urbanites were melting down on Twitter because there were no restaurants and they didn't know how to make stuff at home.
Sadly true..

My mom cooked a bit, but she also relied a lot on frozen shit like Stouffer's. Not necessarily a bad thing. Going to McDonald's or Burger King once a month or so was a treat for us.
My dad didn't cook a whole lot.

>>17091246
If youre a homosexual then ur father was right to kick ur faggot ass out tbqh.

>>17089722
No, my mother's the best cook I know and my father is a great cook when he actually puts effort in
Side effect is we're all fat

>>17091656
say that to my face an not online and see what happens

>>17089738
that wasn't kielbasa anon...

>>17089722
My dad’s generally a good cook. Though he likes to think of himself as a grill master, pieces of meat (besides shrimp) are my least favorite thing he makes. Every now and then he’ll get these massive bone in chicken breasts that I can’t stand. Just extremely watery and bland chicken that he thinks is amazing, I don’t get it.

>>17091675
Okay, ur father was right to kick ur faggot ass out. That any better?

>>17090323
>Boomer-brained about salt
God, my mother is 49 and has this ingrained into her head. I hope the faggot who started this mentality is happy about themselves and the dishes they've lead to being unseasoned. I liberally season my food whenever they're over for dinner and she always says "This is great. There is no salt, so it's good"
So I believe the majority of "boomers" have no fucking clue about any of this shit.

>>17090195
My mom is that way too. Can't take any criticism at all. Also is extremely stubborn in all facets of life.

>>17090195
>My mother is unique in that she takes any form of gently given criticism as a direct personal attack on who she is.
Your mother in unique in that she is a woman?

Oldfag here.
Goddamn my boomer parents couldn't cook. All the shit ITT people are saying about boomer food? All true.
>shoe leather steak so it's not "poison"
>chicken that's dry and soggy at the same time
>combine canned tuna with a cream and random veggie, heat until warm (optional), bonus points if topped with fried carb, tell people it's healthy (mandatory)
>thinks crockpots are good for cooking everything
>no time for crockpot? mircowave just as good
>extremely overcooked or undercooked eggs, zero inbetween, they WILL have a shitfit if you question this
>refuses to preheat oven
>uses as little oil as possible because "it's unhealthy," proceeds to use half pound of processed dairy in every meal
>spices are salt and preground pepper
Ever wonder why fast food and pre-made shit blew up in the 80s? Because boomers can't cook and refuse to learn how. McD's burgers taste better than the average boomer burger. My parents legitimately think I'm secretly training to be a pro chef because I taught myself how to not cook like a monkey.

>>17091227
It never left boomer

>>17091376
Are you kidding me? Millenial parents will know where to order take out that's it.

>>17091807
i was born in 95

>>17090031
Ummm move out?

Yep. They ruined the following for me:
Turkey and ham
I pretty much avoid both now (outside of bacon) it’s always dry and like chewing on leather. I dread Christmas and thanksgiving, Fuck turkey

>>17089722
Worst is not following instructions and going by eye.
Also undercooking, on the grill it can be hard.

>>17089722
millenial parents? amiright!

>>17091431
Even cooking shows from the 90s to today are entertainment, at least they provided a recipe sometimes and had Emeril to entertain.

>>17091723
>curbstomps your faggot ass
yeah I thought so bitch

>>17091921
Do you need a hug?

I had Dairy Queen or frozen meals 4 days out of the week. The weekend was usually Pizza Hut and breakfast was usually oatmeal and toast I made myself.

Why is almost everyone in this thread talking as if they still live with their parents? 4channel is 18+.

>>17091782
My exact thoughts; beat me to it.

>>17091949
people can be bad at cooking whether you live with them or not

>>17089722
My dad was really bad at cooking the few times he actually bothered. Always defaulted to the same few recipes that he proceeded to overload with cheap chili sauce and garlic to the point where it would be completely inedible
Thankfully mom is an alright cook and she was usually the one who kept us fed as kids

>>17091949
Some of us arent shitty people and still enjoy the company of our family, living with them or not

>>17089722
My mother is good with fundamentals in that she knows HOW to do everything - sauteeing when it needs to be sauteed, good knife skills, uses every tool in the kitchen, good techniques for cleanup and presentation, etc. But her recipes themselves are often lazy. I am glad I learned from her (and my grandparents) but each of those three would hold back the others' cooking in some way. I like to think I'm a good cook now, though.

>>17089892
My parents are pretty good at cooking, but my friend's dad pretty much only eats frozen dinners for every meal. When he does cook, its always some variation of beef stew, with a total of 3 ingredients, which are beef, carrots, and onions, with the only seasoning for the whole pot being a literal pinch of salt and pepper.

>>17089982
kek my neighbor does the same thing every halloween
>buys giant bone-in pork rump roast
>adds no seasoning or marinade
>smokes it in traeger for an hour less than he should
>slathers it in kraft bbq sauce and serves it on discount hamburger buns

>>17091948
what's your BMI?

>>17089892
lemme clue you in on something anon: people with bad cooks as parents would be attracted to a thread about that sort of thing and would be able to contribute to it. most of us have parents that could at least make spaghetti or some burgers and not kill us with it

>>17091744
I watched a segment on the Today show in the 90s where the guest was suggesting that the amount of sodium in one hot dog was over your daily limit and even the host was like "really faggot?"

>>17090519
>Olive Garden was pretty empty, but they shot it down saying it was too ethnic for them.
Italians ARE awfully swarth

>>17091949
We all live in the same city so we eat dinner together every Sunday
But my mom is actually good at cooking so I'm only here to dab on you niggas haha

>>17091949
>33
>still lives with dad and mom

>>17092197
As long as you're making money I don't see the problem. Soon moving back to my parents because I can't get a new cheaper apartment without living with literal screaming criminals and with the current I'm saving jack shit every month. I'm going to go maximum savings and buy a fucking home within a realistic future instead of never. Everyone says it's pathetic but I have literally no future living alone in an expensive apartment so I can't take the criticism seriously.

>>17092072
48

>>17089722
My dad is an awful cook and even worse he has misplaced pride in it
He once cooked up some canned salmon, mixed it with every sauce in the fridge and spice on the rack and acted like it was top tier
At least my mum and grandma are good cooks

>>17089882
That's a dad dinner. You were lucky. My dad was a war vet, so he made us eat his favorite Nam treats. Shit on a shingle, chipped beef, corned beef, fried bologna. Still love some of them. But his go to was always corned beedpf hash with eggs on top.

>>17089982
>>17091246
is your dad Cooking with Jack?

>>17092931
my dad isnt fat and not nearly as retarded as jack.

>>17089722
no, worse: my dad is obsessed with healthy eating (low fat / no oil / no sugar vegan)

> hey anon, try this oil free turmeric and sprout hummus
> you didnt touch your organic chickpea curry with light soymilk, i skimmed the cream off so its low fat
> if youre hungry theres vegan jerky in the pantry

>>17090202
Christ.... furred arteries from smoking. Increased by massive salt intake from seasoning food. Also chooses one of the saltiest condiments short of soy sauce: hot sauce. She's gonna have a heart attack.

>>17092999
Trips tells me your dad has the right regimen in mind for a healthy body and morals but the weakness of the mind craving filth makes you despise his cooking. Be thankful it's not worse, you could be eating sugar and calorie dense shit every day and gotten fat instead like so many other people who don't give a damn.

>>17093017
All I'm reading it's going to be a relatively short visit and anon shouldn't interrupt a darwin award in the making.

>>17091466
Nothing wrong with that. Creates the most tender burgers possible.

>>17092926
What kind of monster doesn't love the comfyness of shit on a shingle from childhood?

>>17092999
Parents who are militant about anything don't seem to realize how much it can fuck up a kid. My aunt was like that with her children, not vegan or whatever but really into being healthy. As soon as my cousins went to college they all put on a steady 30 lbs a year until they were all over 300. Then there's my uncle on the other side of my family who was the opposite, and his two kids are both militant vegans

>>17093063
>interrupt a darwin award in the making.
The fact she already reproduced excludes her from a darwin award you mong

>>17092999
> if youre hungry theres vegan jerky in the pantry
This doesn't sound so bad desu

>>17091431
I would argue there's plenty of good, fundamental YT cooking shows out there, the problem is the viral shit is pure entertainment and sometimes total made up bs. The result is people that actually want to learn how to cook have never had more easily accessible tools to learn, but those people that don't care will only ever get served up a video about preparing a 20 pound bacon egg and chocolate muffin or whatever.

>>17089892
>>17089903
My parents were marginally abusive to me growing up, and I mostly ate food they brought home from the nursing homes they worked at kek. Fresh food is a privilege I'm still not used to as an adult

>>17090000
THOSE DIGITS

Anyone else parents put locks on the fridge and pantry? No, none of us were fat, the opposite actually.

>>17090372
Please kill yourself you retard. It's his father pouring it down the drain, acting like it isn't his problem even though it quite literally is his problem.

>>17091520
Your dad became a vegetarian?

>>17093999
wtf my mom also worked in nursing homes

>>17089982
>carbon on bone
How?!?!

This thread is so sad
My dad
>can perfectly grill *anything*
>smokers game is so good he wins awards
Mom
>such a stunning cook people ask for her food as wedding gifts
You poor bastards

My father is incapable of cooking anything at all.

My mother is a kind of weird case, but from what I've heard, it's typical boomer stuff
>mother has always cared more about her work/career than being motherly
>did the cooking for over 30 years but I realize she really can't cook well
>anything that takes any amount of time or effort to cook she thinks is a waste of time
>thinks that me mincing fresh garlic or oven roasting vegetables instead of her go-to (putting in casserole dish with water and microwaving it) is "gourmet"
>kitchen is filled with literally 75+ cookbooks, even buys more on amazon, and never cracks the cover, and yet still prints recipes off the internet (always crappy recipes using as few ingredients and effort as possible)
>there's not a single dish she's ever made that I really enjoyed and has that "man I wish I had mom's cooking right now" feeling

>>17089903
>>17090545
Damn, I wasn't prepared for this heavy truth pill.
You're so right Anon...

>>17094074
Stop trying to save yourself, retard. You said YOU. As in HIM not his father.

The worst thing my mom did cooking-wise was caring more about her career. She would get home from work like 5 PM and be on the computer at night so wanted to get shit done as fast as possible. This also included wanting to ALWAYS have leftovers to not have to cook the next day. A lot of nights I would be hungry not because we were poor, but because if I was still hungry she would literally prevent me from eating more so that there were leftovers instead of me eating enough. Also in elementary school the school lunches were disgusting and I told her I threw them out a lot but she refused to make me lunch.

I grew up malnourished and emaciated and it has followed me through my entire life.

>>17090195
My mom gets that way when I use a word she doesn't know. She got mad when I used the word 'apiary'. I checked the thesaurus and there are no other words for a place where beekeepers put a lot of hives.

My mom is an abominable cook. I used to hate steak as a kid because it hurt my jaw and made my teeth sore. The cheapest steak cuts in the store, 50% gristle and strings with no fat, fried on low (no oil) well past well done, into the gray zone. No salt.
Chicken was so dry it tasted like a pile of unraveled cooking twine. Skin off, boiled for like a fucking hour, drained, no salt.
All vegetables boiled until they turned to mush. Broccoli was a sickly yellow-green and even the stems were like baby food in consistency. No butter or salt.
Eggs, scrambled only, cooked until they were dry and chalky. No salt.
Soups were dry chicken, celery, carrots, and cardboard egg noodles, boiled in straight water. No salt, no spices, and any grease scooped off the top and thrown away.
Now imagine these foods, maybe 10 of them total, being your ENTIRE diet, against your will.
I unironically grew up thinking foods like top ramen, kraft mac and cheese, and bagel bites were blessings from God himself. I used to beg my parents to let me eat the school lunches (in America, worse than prison food) because my mom's food was worse. I was never allowed to eat anything artificial or pre-prepared or have any salt or added fat except for special occasions like birthdays and holidays and compared to my normal diet even top ramen was orgasmic.
I was very underweight as a kid. I remember the feeling of constantly being hungry but not able to eat anything in the house because I couldn't stomach it. I remember going to bed hungry every day. It was fucking horrible.

>>17089722
now I see why white children grow up to be school shooters

>>17089722
Dad refuses to season meat, or put oil on any meat in the oven, because he wants to "taste the meat"

>>17092965
>burns ribs and meats every single time without any attempt to find out why no one wants to eat them
>not retarded
I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

>>17089738
unfathomably based

They think anything less than medium well is raw.

>>17091081
>neon fingers typed this post

>>17094654
Fucking same, I grew up thinking beef and steak was shit tier because my dad turned it into a leather boot every time. Vegetables are exclusively boiled and boiled until they're mushy as fuck. I told my dad he made food like it was still world war 2 once about 6 years ago and he still brings it up.

>>17089722
This one time my dad added additional salt and oil to a pasta to make it "more italian".
Also, he used sea salt which meant that the pasta was way too oily and you'd get a "crunch" of salt after every bite.

>>17089738
true

My mom makes unseasoned chicken

Soo... White people cooking thread?

It's strange, my dad taught me to be open minded about food and always try new things, don't eat steak well done etc. but when he cooks he's literally afraid of flavor. He'll follow some pioneer woman recipe to the letter and mayyyybe add a little extra seasoning to "kick it up". Like he can't understand why the food he cooks is so bland compared to the food he orders at a nice restaurant

>mom generally good cook
>only cooks cajun dishes/southern dishes
>dont think the woman has ever cooked beef
>huge portions so good food would be had maybe two-four days in a row
>dad decent i guess but can't say i can remember one dish
>parents divorce, dad remarried to awful cook
>roast beef dry as shoe leather
>chicken always near powder state
>fish on plate confused with fish preserved for winter
>not allowed to leave table until all food consumed
>only allowed one single serving drink, iirc couldn't have water either, can't fill up on drinks
>she yelled at me one because i rolled my eyes when she said i could have toilet water
>remember this mostly because at that age i didn't know what eye rolling was and incredibly confused
>dad and step mom fought constantly and divorced after a year or two
>only lived with her maybe 50% of the relationship
they got married because of old school mentality and she got pregnant.
somehow my step brother was fat but probably from premade food as she was a single mom from then on.

My dad can actually make equal dishes as in most high-end restaurants. Can't wait until christmas.

>>17091949
Not every country has a culture of throwing your children onto the street after they finish high school, mutt.

>>17093606
A stepmom can be childless you dumbass. It's not "a literal mother has a new relationship where there are other children" and nothing anon posted would suggest so either.

>>17089722
>>mom regularly leaves rotten food in the fridge
My mom does this too and whats worse she yells at me for wasting food when I throw out moldy food. She says she was going to cut out the mold and eat the rest, but it never happens.

>>17090354
Holy shit how fucking embarrassing

>>17091949
I'm 29 and I live with my parents. My mom didn't move out until she got married.

>>17094924
According to this logic it seems you'll be living with your parents forever

>>17094928
Sick burn but god forbid

>>17091949
If you need to ask then you don't belong here

>>17092999
You'll grow out of it someday

>>17094127
I don’t think anyone else replied because you offered no evidence you’re not talking out your ass

>>17094197
You should take vitamins if you aren’t already

>>17089722
My step mother could not cook to save her life. Her idea of ham and beans was to throw a left over ham bone in a pot of water with beans and boil them till they were mush, with no seasoning. My father grew up very poor and impoverished, and as an adult wanted to eat steak a lot because he couldn't afford it as a kid. Except he was cheap, so they would buy the cheapest cuts of steak, then my step mom would cook them to well done consistency of grey shoe leather that even A1 and ketchup could not do anything for. We ate this multiple times a week. I hated steak for the longest time because I didn't know it could be good. I was so happy the nights we had spaghetti with sauce from a jar or Stouffer's lasagna because they were basically premade and she couldnt fuck them up.

>>17092999
Vegans are like nazis, but more annoying

>>17095106
20 posts
>my parents can't cook
*yawn*
1 post
>that's sad, my parents can cook
[citation needed, asshole]
you're one of the IFL Science types, aren't you?

>>17089722
Honestly, considering how shitty my early gen X dad cooks, I can understand where the female boomer meme that men cant cook came from. Although thankfully the limp wristed faggots of this generation, myself included, can cook.

>>17091744
>God, my mother is 49
That's GenX, who were told 1,000 a day that fat and salt would kill them so eat all bread and pasta

>>17095282
Lol what the fuck are you talking about? Yes if you make an extraordinary claim be prepared to provide at least a crumb of evidence.

My rocket surgeon father who also won galactic BBQ championships taught me that

I used to dread sundays because that was the day my dad would break out the gas grill. He would make steaks for him and his wife and my sister and I would get hot dogs. Keep in mind that I wasn't a kid at the time. I was in my mid going on late teens the whole time. The hot dogs would be horribly burned on the outside so all you tasted was ketchup, mustard, and carbon. Yet somehow every single time I would get the worst diarrhea you can imagine the next morning. One time, I was waiting for the bus and had to run into the woods and squat. Another time I actually shit myself on the bus ride and had to ditch my underwear in the bathroom after cleaning up as best I could. I tried to bring it up to him but all that did was make him burn the outside more. I still got sick. So it was eat that or starve. I hate my fucking father so goddamn much.

>>17095297
Anon
>my dad can grill and my mom is a good cook
Your retarded ass
>That's akin to claiming your dad can fly and your mother is bulletproof!
He said his parents a great cooks, that is not 'extraordinary' and this is not some sort of debate club, moron. Lurk moar

>>17095297
>"Here I am on a board dedicated to cooking and food and some guy is claiming his family is heavy into cooking and food. That's SOOOOOO unbelievable!"

>>17095306
He didn’t say that though, he said his dad won awards. Okay well, you don’t have one pic of his award winning cooking? I take pics of my mediocre cooking and he doesn’t have one pic of his dad’s brisket? Either post it or it’s just bs exaggerating, and that doesn’t necessarily mean his dad can’t cook but maybe he’s embellishing it

>>17095320
This is you
>Hey! Hey, anon! Send me a pic of your dad's food or it isn't real! Log back in, get back on this thread, and SHOW me a PIC or I refuse to believe your dad is good at smoking food! What kind of assholes says his dad wins awards without doxxing his father to satisfy my curiosity?! I mean, here I was complaining about my parents' cooking and some asshole comes along and is sympathetic because his parents are good cooks and doesn't *prove it* to me. Me! Doesn't he know who I am? Fuck"
And its pretty goddam funny

>>17095320
100 posts
>My parents are such terrible cooks that I spend 12 years with constant diarrhea and grew up with stunted growth from being malnourished
*yawn*
1 post
>My dad is good at smoking meat
GET THE FUCK BACK HERE AND PROVE IT YOU BULLSHIT ARTIST!
Please let me know the days and times you're online and I'll tell you my grandma once baked a cake that won a ribbon at a county fair so you can sperg some more

>>17095340
He doesn't have to doxx his dad, I never implied that. He can scrub out the name using mspaint or something.

>>17095355
JFC, I fucking love you so much right now! This is the hilarious lack of self-awareness that used to make me lurk /r9k/ for the lulz.
What makes you think a guy that dropped in a random 'I feel sorry for you guys' post something like 6 hours before you responded knows you exist or that you replied?
And if he does notice, why would he care?
I mean, *I* am now emotionally invested in the comedy elements, but I'm betting money the original guy is, if he isn't in bed, doing something else besides worrying about your opinion

>>17095355
I love when people pretend to be you posting.

>>17095348
I didn’t say he was bullshitting, I merely remarked that everyone else in the thread didn’t even bother replying until I mentioned that a bit proof with an extraordinary claim would go a long way. There are a lot of people who bullshit after all. Is that so unreasonable, or are you going to flail about acting like asking for some proof is some outlandish thing again

>>17095366
Umad?

>>17095366
You’re responding to a troll pretending to be me lmao.

>>17095355
>Sage goes in all fields
kek

>>17094833
>tick sucking his parents dry
when they're dead you'll be homeless

>>17095306
>He

>>17095541
Actually it’s the best way to be. Instead, Americans puts their kids in daycare and put their parents in nursing homes, instead of having a situation where the older generation watch the younger. It’s retarded Jew shit

>>17094332
taste the painbow

>>17090031
>>Think food is bad if it sits in the refrigerator for more than 2 days.
this is true though

>>17089722

My mother was a terrible cook who struggled with weight all her life. Her solution to this was to never cook with any butter or oil, ever. “Turkey Burgers” were unseasoned ground turkey served with no condiments on “whole wheat” buns.

>>17095591
How many times have your parents walked in on your pathetic 35 year old self masturbating?

My mom wants to be a good cook but just falls short all the time
>overcooked rock-like burgers
>chewy tough steaks that hurt to chew
>first attempt recipes that tasted bad
>hot dogs on white bread as meal
>dry unspiced chicken
>no other bread than white bread ever
>burnt bacon and eggs rubbery
The stuff she CAN cook well is great, but the basics are just lacking...I love her regardless tho
Dad could only cook rice and pasta and pancakes which he taught me which got me through college

both my parents are good at cooking, i would even say my dad is a great cook but they have some old wives tale/boomer things they do that drive me up a wall

>still think microwave cooks food from the inside out
>mixing oils will raise the smoke point to the higher one
>tough meat goes in the crock pot all day until it is not only tough but is now dry
>never cover pots when trying to boil something
>knives in the dishwasher

>>17089722
I steam and mash my potatoes but I do add seasonings and cream/milk.

>>17095735
by her an instant read and hound her to use it. my mom always under cooked chicken and overcooked steak now she knows the temps and they are perfect. (as long as she uses the thermometer).

>>17094654
lmao for me it's less than well done is raw. The looks of disgust they have when they see it cooked any less is hilarious. I love them, but goddamn they can't cook.
>>17094713
I connect with you on that. I swore off beef for years because of my bad experiences. Just thought it wasn't for me, but thankfully learning to cook decently fixed that.

>>17095721
I personally don’t live like that. But I do realize it’s a better way of living

>>17095690
>“Turkey Burgers” were unseasoned ground turkey served with no condiments on “whole wheat” buns.
>projectilevomiting dot jaypeg

>>17095942
Here's a good reaction pic for you.

>>17089892
Well there's many reasons so many social misfits come to this website, and shitty parents is one of them. My parents didn't always get along but they always fed us and both cooked pretty well

>>17095836
That'll be a good Christmas gift, good idea anon

>>17090000
Nice digits and it's true a father who tries is good. But a father who has tried multiple times with the same results and refuses to improve or change is a fucking idiot and doesn't deserve any praise.

>>17090607
Yeah I always told my mom growing up she salted her own food too much and tended to burn meat on the grill. She doesn't really do either of those things anymore.

My dad was a great cook, he owned and worked at several restaurants but he died when I was a kid.
Mom is horrible at cooking and when I was a kid all she ever cooked was chicken or sometimes bought a rotisserie chicken. It was always dry and never had any flavor except for salt.

>>17091376
>implying zoomers know how to cook
they'll just download an app to order food.

My mom's cooking was pretty decent most of the time before she went full schizo.
My dad can cook, but goddamned Gen X fags barely season their shit because of muh sodium and heckin cholesterolrino.

>>17089892

> mum manages to melt a boil in the bag curry meal to the bottom of a pot
> dad pours dry pasta into a pot and dumps jarred marinara sauce on top
> mum discovers steamers and steams the life out of everything, uses no seasoning

I beg to differ like

>>17089892
Another guy claimed his parents were good cooks and the spergs sperged, so I think you're in a minority

>>17095106
My dad wins knights of columbus and rotary club awards and you're salty about it?
I didn't say he had a michelin star, faggot, I said he can use a smoker.

>>17096170
what is that about?
I am this guy
>>17094127
and my mom laughes and tells us
>"Want to know why everyone loves my food? I cook with a lot of butter, bacon grease, and lard and I add salt, pepper, and other seasoning while I cook. Watch 4 episodes of Julia Childs and you'll be as good as I can be"

i grew up hating steak because my dad cooked it in a way you had to chew the shit out of it to swallow, then I learned how to cook

yes my father cant cook per se but he cooks his breakfast everymorning even if it is shitty eggs and vegetable combo i respect the man because he doesnt complain about any meal but he enjoys and will recognize a tasty meal made with skill and love ...he sees food as fuel not a pleasing a experience
and my mother has a good heart and does cook meals 5 times out of a seven day week and i love her for it but she doesnt know how to
she doesnt know basic cooking skills like how to hold a knife or proper temp to fry chicken
she still burns meals to this day and just wings it
wich i find confusing because the internet is so readiy available you can literally learn how to make anyting you want or learn how to do something you thought you knew how to do properly
its sad but at the same time im not ungratefull because some people parents didint even care to try and cook they just settled for frozen meals
ill take a shitty improvised meal made with love over a generic frozen meal anyday

>>17097033
>wich i find confusing because the internet is so readiy available you can literally learn how to make anyting you want or learn how to do something you thought you knew how to do properly

I hear this all the time, why is this specific thing such a disconnect for older generations. They understand reference books, and for the most part they understand instructional videos, but the existence of those things on a device that it literally in their pocket right now never seems to factor in.
I guess they have a way of doing things in their head, and when they formed those habits they weren't used to factoring in time to "brush up" on particular aspects of the task. So adding that later is impossible because it would require them to unlearn their whole process.

>>17089892
Both my parents learned to cook as I grew up, by the time I left home they were really good. We ate some lame stews and celery soups when I was a kid, but in my 20s an invitation to have dinner was a hard yes.
My mother is like some kitchen wizard scientist now, she waves her hands and delicious stuff appears while we're standing around talking in the kitchen.

>>17089873
Patrick?

>>17090144
Tell me how you can't cook without saying "I can't cook"

>>17094868
Yeah going into damage control mode is pretty embarrassing.

>>17095340
Face it. He blew you the fuck out.

>JFC, I fucking love you so much right now! This is the hilarious lack of self-awareness that used to make me lurk /r9k/ for the lulz.
>What makes you think a guy that dropped in a random 'I feel sorry for you guys' post something like 6 hours before you responded knows you exist or that you replied?
>And if he does notice, why would he care?
>I mean, *I* am now emotionally invested in the comedy elements, but I'm betting money the original guy is, if he isn't in bed, doing something else besides worrying about your opinion

>>17090031
>boomer parents
so you're what, 40 years old and still live at home as a NEET? Get bent

>>17089722
*notices bulge* OwO what's this?

>>17093057
>Vegan
>Healthy
Enjoy constant malnourishment

>>17094291
>Bee farm

>>17090183
>and tell me she knows more because of age
Oh dear lord the amount of times I heard this.
Absolute fucking assholes.
Peak ignorance.

>>17097156
thats awesome anon
and thats what cooking is all about
if one has a desire to eat tasty meals one will learn and find a way
its all practice ITS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE

>>17089722
My dad's favorite thing to make growing up was spanish rice and he made it by cooking short grain rice in water, mixing it with tomato sauce with bell pepper and onion simmered in it for a bit and baking it all with strips of bacon over the top. It was a mushy, gummy mess that only he liked.

Both of my parents overcooked everything to shit and used canned/frozen veggies a lot. Naturally, I didn’t like a lot of food growing up and was called “finicky.” It wasn’t until I was in my mid 20s that I tried things like fish and a lot of veggies again and found out that I like most foods and now I do most of the cooking when parents are in town. Fortunately they’re receptive and I was able to explain how to properly cook things so they’re now as bad as they were.

>>17097251
No this is the Krusty Krab

>>17097957
patrick ?

My parents hate cooking and hate the thought of me cooking
If my mom asks what I want from the grocery store and I say something like
pie crusts so I can make chicken pot pie and salmon filets
She'll just buy me a ready made pie and precooked/seasoned salmon

>>17089892
My mom's a fantastic cook. I picked up the fundamentals from her as a teenager but eventually branched out with more ethnic stuff. Set a goal for myself to be able to cook at least one dish from every country in the world.

>>17090323
How is kraft dinner different than regular boxed mac and cheese?

My parents both worked full time so most of the food would be premarinated meats, taco seasoning kits, spaghetti, etc. Now that they're older they watch cooking shows all the time on TV but I doubt they've applied anything they've learned.

My mom could only cook frozen meals or boiled pasta or vegetables. She is also a picky eater who is mostly vegetarian, so my attempt to teach her any cooking has failed because she is disgusted by butter/eggs/meat. Growing up with her "cooking" made redpilled me a lot about people with restrictive diets. Forcing that shit onto your kids is basically child abuse.

Mum
>Only cooks South Asian food but it's pretty fucking based
>Goes through a rotation of about 20 recipes over a month and it's all delicious
>Occasionally attempts western food like pasta but not very good at it
>Loves vegetarian food but makes a lot of meat dishes because the rest of the family are consumate carnivores

Dad
>Before retirement only used to make chicken soup
>Fucking amazing soup desu
>Since retiring and following a heart attack he cooks a lot more
>Mostly healthier alternatives to Asian food
>Sometimes tho he cooks fried chicken that is way better than any I've eaten in fried chicken places

Both are pretty good desu, their "bad habits" are more just not being used to the type of western stuff I cook since they want things to be spicy like they are back home. Also love adding ketchup to things, never quite got that either. I made a sunday roast when I was at home and they seemed to like it but I could tell they would much rather it was something spicy and exciting kek. The one thing I've always been grateful for is that they both have an eye for good products and will reject anything subpar, all the meat and fish in their house is bought from impeccable sources so you were never working with bad ingredients.

>>17096936
I’m not salty you whiny faggot lmao, your dad gets participation awards in his boomer hugbox clubs he attends to avoid your mother. Now that I can believe

>>17090183
But this is where you stop being useless antisocial beta and take over the cooking responsibility by proving that you can do it better. Laugh it off, confidently but leisurely tell her you are actually into cooking (how does she not know anyway?) prove your point, become a kitchen hero of your household or family. Literally that easy if you only have a drive and motivation not to let others shit on you and to assert your way of doing things as the one that's right. Less talking, more doing

>>17098568
Problem is, you’re not dealing with logical actors here. They’ll just stubbornly say they prefer it their way. If they had the ability to objectively analyze food they would have admitted to themselves a long time ago that they didn’t like it.

>>17089722
Grandma cooked well and baked from scratch,worked as a cook for most of her life.As she got older her cooking got considerably worse,but the baking stayed the same. Grandpa was a southerner and a vet so it was shit on a shingle and pork feet with beans. Mom was decent when she tried but it was mainly hamburger helper. Dad was a chef at a hotel so sometimes he would go all out but he stopped cooking and started working HVAC jobs after getting a trade degree. I worked in kitchens(mainly catering) for seven years. I cook at home,my wife can follow recipes but she can't just cook.

>>17097472
> 2 words
please, anon.

>>17090607
yeah, earned me a few hits and a lot of yelling and a "well, cook your own fucking food" for a few weeks. at least i learned how to prepare (basic) food by myself when i was 11

Does this count at all? Breakfast is all that really matters imo anyways.

>>17091560
yeah >>17091376 is a bit retarded. boomers and gen x were raised on julia child, jacques pepin, etc. none of them internalized it though because it was the boomer parents who did everything and spoiled the shit out of em. its unique to these retards

My dad taught me most of what I know about cooking. I'm an adult now but I still call him sometimes for cooking tips.

>>17089738
Mine does this too

>>17089889
Like Chinese food ribs

>>17090348
yeah a blocked pipe will completely ruin your life

>>17090578
nigga tell me how to make baja fish tacos, I want to know

I know the white people spice memes, and my parents are exactly that. They use salt and maybe pepper, everything is completely foreign to them.
Stews, fish, meats, whatever, only salt and pepper.

>>17098691
Instead of removing the veggies to cook the eggs, an easier way would be to crack the eggs over the rest of the dish then cover the dish with a lid until the eggs are cooked to your liking.

>my parents
>dads cooking is absolutely delicious
>mom almost never lets him cook because she wants all the compliments
>mom was born without the sense of smell so uses no herbs or spices other than s/p, and has a literal phobia of butter
>her cooking is so bad I would sometimes rather go to bed hungry than eat it
moving out was worth it for the food alone

>dad doesn't cook and most importantly refuses to learn how to
>but for some reason every now and then he would get the idea that he should cook something incredibly and needlessly complicated for the whole family
>everyone immediately knew what was coming and the mood shifted in to nervous anticipation
>this event would be announced multiple times during the week and he would be boasting about the upcoming feast and how mom never makes any "exotic" or "exciting" food like he does
>that cursed day would eventually come and it always went the same way: every piece of kitchenware in the house somehow in use, nothing is timed at all ie. steaks are on the pan already when the oven is beginning to heat for the eventual roasting of the potatoes, the recipe would be followed very loosely if at all, loud cursing, heavy drinking
>needless to say, the results were catastrophic and barely edible, barely resembling whatever they were originally supposed to be
>dad would sit there, angry and drunk, mean mugging us all while we ate cold burnt steak and slightly roasted but eventually boiled potatoes with a sauce that somehow had a texture more watery than water itself
>mom would spend an hour cleaning the kitchen and dad continued getting more shitfaced while lamenting how much of a failure he is in every aspect of life

>>17100309
Sounds brutal. Did you ever offer to help? My mom was a good cook but at that point I would have offered to help to politely put your dad in the culinary nursing home

My dad is a good cook and my mom can cook too, but he is better. She is a great baker though.

>>17089722
My dad always uses a fuck ton of onions and garlicin all of his dishes. I think he hates me or something cause I can't eat onions or garlic without getting massively bloated. Whenever i tell him this he just says "its good for you" "you are a donkey" its annoying.

>>17098185
it's not, they just market it as kraft dinner in canada because they were going to have to change the label anyways to comply with their gay dual language laws, and kraft dinner is what they were calling it up north so might as well go along with it

>>17092999
He drank the koolaid. Sad
I hope you know those foods are the furthest things from health.

>>17100396
I was pretty young during these episodes and also you couldn't tell my dad that he was doing anything wrong. These days he lives in a sad old man bachelor pad sustaining himself with microwave dinners. Which I guess could be regarded as a culinary nursing home.

>>17100487
Sorry to hear that fren. Hope it hasn’t fucked with you too much

>>17100487
...where did mom go

>>17089722
Your parents are lazy because they don't have the patience to follow simple recipes and instruction to make the basic food.

>>17090474
what is banana cheese?

i think generally they're pretty good, and mom is especially good at baking. but they're quite terrible at some things. i'm not claiming to an expert or anything but i don't like meals ruined either.
>dad rinses pasta
>suprised when i yell at him to immediatly stop
>boiling some water for the frozen green beans
>the beans need to basically be in there for minute
>it's boiled so much to the point it's mush to eat

>parents always overcook everything
>always overcooked vegetables because they put them in the beginning with meat and it's only important if meat is done but they overdo meat as well
>whenever something is roasted they put water to it because needs to be cooked through so it's no longer roasted
They finally got a slow cooker and amazed why it tastes so good.

>>17091256
hmmmmmm.......
I wonder what the difference is between hamburger patties and ground turkey...................................
retard

>>17089892
It's a post-war thing. For most countries it was literally just poverty that made bad cooks out of desperate people but for america it was the other way around. The post-war golden age made a lot of spoiled thoughtless kids with far too much to spend and a desperation to marry and procreate after a lifetime of partying suddenly needing to take care of a 3+ household. Not saying it was universal but the general economic gain of the avarage american plus the absolute bloat of foodstuff they were developing caused a culture that either always went for takeouts (which is what kickstarted fast food resturant chains) or made awful dinners based on tabloid adverts that really were just them peddling random shit they always got in excess.

>>17100592
You put the cheese on the banana

>>17089738
based dad

>>17089722
It's very frustrating, the worst cooking I've seen outside of Jack videos.
My dad will just throw 12 eggs in a pan and then cook them until they're charcoal on the bottom, yolk so dry it falls apart, there's so much oil that it's swimming in oil.
Mom puts cheese between white bread and pops it in the microwave. She is actually proud of this and tries to give it to everyone. Soggy wet bread with gross cheese.
Everything they make is overcooked. They'll cook pasta for an hour until it's just goop. They boil all their meat and if they don't boil it they marinate it in straight vinegar and overcook it in the oven.
My mother loves pineapple on everything, every salad has to have overcooked gross meat and pineapple. She buys frozen pineapple pizza and defrost it in the microwave.
Everything that doesn't taste like charcoal, oil, vinegar or pineapple is completely tasteless.

>>17089892
Good parents would not allowed you to have access to the internet and get here

>>17095279
Nazis were vegans, anon.

>>17100931
>cook pasta for an hour
This can’t be true. I refuse to believe it

>>17089722
My mom is so scared of undercooked meat she dried out every pork chop she's ever touched.
My wife uses a thermometer and her chops a delicious and juicy without being unsanitary.

>>17090000
A father that's not retarded is an even greater gift

>>17100309
>that cursed day would eventually come and it always went the same way: every piece of kitchenware in the house somehow in use, nothing is timed at all
I was honestly hoping for a happy ending. My dad is the same way during Thanksgiving and does it all himself (and shoos away any help). Leads to drinking, anger, and a few tossed pans. The thing is that the food always turns out great, with one mistake or two. But he always feels like shit for how he acted leading up to it.
Sorry for how it turned out with him, Anon. Hope you keep a more level head when you cook and are having a chiller life.

>>17098490
>they want things to be spicy like they are back home
Feel you. I've heard nothing but complaints from my parents whenever we eat out, especially if it's chicken if they don't feel the spice.

>>17098490
chickcel

>>17089722
>adds no salt, pepper, or cream

>>17089722
My dad could only cook preprepared bulgogi and it always had this distinct smell that I came to asscoiate with him.
After my parents divorced, his elderly mother made meals for him until she passed. She drunk a lot of alcohol, not sure if she was actually an alcoholic or what though.
He's an odd old man with a king complex that was born from his single child upbringing with his mother constantly feeding the delusion that she started.

My mom on the other hand is a pretty good cook when it's asian dishes and just kind of ok with western stuff. She's into experimenting and improving though.

>>17089722
Kek, my mother is a mediocre cook, she mostly just wings stuff.. She's told I make the best Mac 'n Cheese she's ever had when all I do is just follow directions.

>>17100996
No only hitler, and not vegan, vegetarian

Anons...You guys have showed me how blessed I am. The only thing my dad does that pisses me off is adding extra sugar, olive oil, or butter to everything. He also makes vegetable soup, and adds way too much cabbage every time. Mom's only bad recipe is her "creamed spinach", which uses Ragu alfredo sauce in place of the buttermilk/butter mix me and granny use.

My sister on the other hand, is always subjecting us to keto recipes. They always seems to make me feel ill when I eat it since I eat a low-fat diet due to a family history of early onset CAD and gallbladder issues. Her "fathead" pizza has given us all diarrhea multiple times, and I hate her keto baked goods and anything she makes with alcohol sugars.

>>17089722
Not my parents, but my 34 year old cousin was sheltered and spoiled as a kid. To this day he only eats take-out and has his mommy and daddy deliver home made meals to him. It's pathetic.
His parents, my aunt and uncle, are not the greatest cooks and only cycle through 5+6 meals.

My mother is a great cook, but her technique is weird as fuck. Her and I can make the same recipe, she'll prep and make it completely differment and itll turn out just as good. Its very odd.

>Mom I dont think it should be that runny,"Its fine trust me Ive been cooking a hell of alot longer than you so shut the hell up and manja."

Sure enough, ends up good.

And Im no slouch, 30yr old, Ive helped at least a dozen friends who have NO IDEA how to cook, my age, to impress a chick on a home cooked meal date.

Mom makes a colossal fucking mess when she cooks that she never cleans, will leave perishable food out for days constantly forgetting to put things back, with try to cook with moldy food then wonders why she gets sick. Dad literally starves if there is no one to cook for him. No wonder I'm a retard

Another thread full of underage faggot complaining about their parents. Learn to cook, you ungrateful fuckers. They should just make you starve instead.

>>17102015
Nice job not reading the thread, you nigger. How about you shoot yourself and save us the trouble of insulting you further for being such a gigantic faggot.

>>17102019
It's literally filled with teenagers crying about mommy and daddy's bad cooking. You should feel happy that they even bothered to cook for your spoiled ass. My dad was a shit cook too but at least he tried. He was a single parent that worked 50 - 60 hour weeks.

>>17102029
Oh wow, boo fucking hoo. Waahhh wahhhh.

>>17102034
Yeah, that's you. I have my dad to thank for inspiring me to learn how to cook for myself. You'd rather bitch and cry like an underage faggot. I really hope you are an actual teenager and not a grown man doing that which is even more pathetic.

>>17102015

>>17090701
once I accidentally spilled wayy too much crushed black pepper in my food and actually lost all feeling in my mouth, it went completely numb. Before that it actually did burn like hell.

>>17102043
Boo hooo oooh booo hooo
Oh I'm crying waaaahh waaaahh

>>17095682
Remove yourself from the genepool retard.

>>17089722
>dad goes to cook a steak
>bends some aluminum foil into a tray
>puts steak on it
>only seasons one side
>puts it in a cold oven
>it comes out as a tasteless soggy piece of leather
>bottom of oven is always filled with grease from his foil pan leaking

My Mom can cook alright since my grandma was a cooking competition winner. But my dad just cooks like a hobo.

>>17089722
My mother is really hit or miss. She makes a couple really good dishes, like chili or bigos, but whenever she's "trying something out" it turns into a fucking disaster. She'll deviate from recipes on a whim and fuck it up. She overcooks food all the fucking time because she's incredibly careless about checking on things. If it's something she can look away from for a minute, she'll just straight up leave the kitchen and let it go until she remembers to tell someone to stir it up. Oh god and she makes so many fucking dishes. It's like she deliberately uses twice as many dishes as she needs to and doesn't clean ANY of them herself until they're stacked up to the fucking ceiling.
What pisses me off the most is how she stuffs the fridge constantly. She'll buy shit loads of dressing and sauces that she uses once or plans to use "soon" (read: never) which clog up the fridge, but she's a hoarder and doesn't want to throw them away until they're expired. She does the same thing with vegetables and cheeses and meats. I'd just use it all up myself, but it's legit impossible to keep up and half of it is weird crap. So the fridge is inevitably full of spoiled crap and you can't trust anything that's in there, which just makes it even harder to use stuff up. Also she stuffs the freezer with random shit that catches her eye, so we end up with all sorts of novelty junk no one wants.

Overall, she just has no god damn discipline in the kitchen. The worst I can say about my dad is that he has a pretty unadventurous palate and the only appliances he really ever uses are the grill, smoker, and crockpot.

>>17090195
>My mother is unique
>thinking any human is unique when there's 8 billion of us
jfc how naive are you?

My dad never knew what he was doing. he would act like the big grill master but then make the worst food.

My mom used to be a great cook and then one day just stopped caring. She barely cooks any more.

>>17090354
Do you recreationally shit your pants? You seem like that kind of person.

>>17089982
kek, our dads are very similar.

>>17101948
>always seem to make me ill
Well yeah going from a low fat diet to high fat meals suddenly won't go well. Though from what I know low fat diets usually cause gallstones since there is not enough fat flushing the gallbladder

>>17089892
> make thread inviting people to talk about parents that can't cook
> people with parents that can't cook reply, people with parents that can cook don't reply

>dad obviously burns the food
>"HOO baby that's PURE flavour! Dig in!"

>>17089722
>mom regularly leaves rotten food in the fridge
I fucking hate this shit.

>mom is starting to cook literally EVERYTHING in the new shitty air fryer
>doesn't bother cleaning the fryer after use

>>17090323
>>17091744
Some boomers may worry about their high blood pressure (which you should reduce salt for) but why dont they ever get picrel? They never seem to believe there can be truly healthy substitutions

My mom is inconsistent. She'll make something that tastes amazing one week and the next week make the same dish but completely different. I wish she would just write things down and follow a recipe.

>>17090183
>>17090195
My mom is the exact opposite, she frequently asks me "what's the best way to do X" and then get annoyed/confused when I say I don't know. Or she'll call me indecisive when I just don't care. To save time, I've learned to just pick an option and pretend to be confident about it.

My mom will leave leftover food on the kitchen counter or stove top instead of putting it in the fridge...

>>17095368
Im going to pop in and here and say local knights of columbus and rotary club cooking awards are not really extraordinary. Its probably like a church cook off, maybe even less impressive because those organizations are predominantly married men who usually have their wife cook for them.

>>17095682
This is like the most "but it depends" statement ever. Different foods just last different amount of time in the fridge. Some can last more than 2 days, and some cant. Thats it

>>17095721
I jerk it in my apartment to the thought of not having to pay rent or utilities

>>17102169
you first, poorfag

>>17102029
>he tried
yeah, and you seem to take that for granted, you spoiled retard
thread is full of examples of the opposite