/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I can’t think of anything worse desu

>>17060925
>eat bacon
>chug an energy drink
>smoke a bowl
>edge for 5 hours
>feel like im about to have a heart attack

>>17060930
What about if you drop your sushi in the soy sauce and it goes everywhere

>>17060939
have you tried not being an obese retard?

When you take a bit of burger and the whole patty comes out, so you take a bit of it real quick before it drips everywhere, but you get more than you thought but you're already committed so you eat it anyway then you're left with a couple of sad half empty buns and didn't even get to enjoy the burger.

>>17060959
The wide burger reigns supreme, resolute and steadfast, while the tall burger falls apart at the slightest breeze

>>17060951
im obese, but not very much so

>>17060940
You deserve it for using soy sauce

>>17060925
wgaf about the cheese, the worst part is the beef and ''italian sausage'' falling off.

>>17060925
When you slice off the turkey breast and there’s still blood in there and everyone’s watching

>>17060925
>When you have to take a shit in the middle of cooking a dish you have to pay attention to

>When the fire rises cooking on the ol propane bbq

>When the smoker stops smoking

>When you are eating a hot dog in a while shirt and you see the ketchup falling off onto your shirt

>When someone spills milk

>When you’re peanut butter and jellying the bread and you push too hard with the knife and poke a hole in then bread then it comes out the hole when you just wanted the outsides to be bread

>when you think your reheated microwave dish is hot and the middle is still a bit cold

>When you can’t eat the ice cream fast enough and it starts to melt and get all messy

>When you eat Cheetos and forget a napkin

>When you eat a cupcake and the frosting party complete separates from the cake part

>When you forget to ask for no pickles (pickles are disgusting and anyone who eats them deserves to have their children die in a car fire while they watch helplessly)

>>17061291
>>When you forget to ask for no pickles (pickles are disgusting and anyone who eats them deserves to have their children die in a car fire while they watch helplessly)
https://youtu.be/1bUVx6LFyvI?t=7080

>>17061353
This is a 2 hour long video anon. I’m not watching a 2 hour video. What’s your joke, sports fan?

>bite unto a pretty crispy and delicious looking chicken
>raw inside with blood

>>17061452
https://youtu.be/eO6e5k6Vvnc?t=278

>>17061421
it's timestamped retard

>>17061459
Damn that's grim

>>17061353
kek wtf

>>17060925
just pick up the slice of pizza the right way, instead of like a moron

>>17060959
>eating burger
>almost done with the burger but the final piece is slightly too big for one bite but i would look gay eating it in two awkward little bites
>start sweating because i think other people in the place are looking at me and judging me
>attempt to eat it in two bites and the last bit of burger meat slips out of the bun into the burger wrapper
>have to sort of mash the meat and remaining bun into my mouth
>get burger sauce all over mouth
>drenched with sweat

>>17060925
when you bite into a tumor in a chicken nugget

>>17061221
I am going to rape you

>when you break the yolk while trying to flip an egg
I have actually gotten so angry at this I throw the eggs straight in the trash, wash the pan and don't eat.

>>17063596
DUDE, same. Nothing in cooking enrages me more than breaking a yolk.

>>17061353
Based pickle hating homeless man

>eating something chewy
>bite down on something crunchy

>eating the good ol mash potatoes
>all creamy
>bite a solid piece of potatoes

>>17060925
>Biting into a slice of pizza and all the cheese and scalding sauce hits your tongue and pallete ruining the pizza and numbing your sense of taste for up to a week

>>17060925
>Chewing delicious food happily, bite cheek or tongue

>>17060925
>when you think you're gonna eat some tuna
>instead you get spotted dick

>>17064529
Fucking cheese crystals, man. Those things should not exist.

>>17060925
When you bite into a big mac and accidentally pull out 3 pickles with your teeth which immediately flop down and deposit sauce all over your chin.

>>17060925
>dip a dorito
>it breaks
>send in a salvage chip
>that breaks too

*shatters*

>>17065809
This but tomatoes. Absolutely do not belong on burgers, I always end up yanking the whole thing out sending sauce everywhere.

>>17060925
>take bite out of burger
>patty falls out from other end

>>17060925
reminds me how I hated pizza for a long time since I ate it as a kid and all the cheese came off with one bite

>>17065818
>eating doritos
>hand suddenly pulls out disgusting ball of dorito cheese

>>17065226
>he doesn't let his pizza cool for 20 minutes before eating.

>>17065244
This.

Always
fucking
this.

>>17065855
I too, am an anime girl

>>17065855
wrap your burgers, mongoloid

>>17064529
>Eating frozen burger
>There's some kind of unchewable piece of vein in the patty

>eating a burger with something like a big leaf of lettuce or slice of bacon
>you didn't bite completely through one of the stretchy/chewy bits of gristle or stalk and it pulls out the entire slice of bacon/lettuce out (or some of the other fillings) as you withdraw the burger from your face

>>17066156
wtf kind of doritos have you been eating? I've never had that happen to me in years of eating doritos

>>17065244
>inflammation causes you to do it repeatedly after

>eat a pineapple
>eat too much of said pineapple
>mouth feels like a french kissed a razor

>>17061459
Lmao is that a parody channel

>>17065226
>too fat to wait for the food to reach consumption safe temperatures
you deserved it tbqhwy

>eat Döner Kebab
>Meat keeps falling out of the sides

>>17060959
>When you take a bit of burger and the whole patty comes out
My teeth are for shit and I've never, ever encountered this. How is such a thing even possible.

>>17068572
weak grip in combination with excessive sauce/ketchup/we working as a lubricant

>>17065226
Just blow on it you actual fucking retard

>>17065855
Again, in all my years of burger consumption, i've never had this happen. What kind of ass quality burgers are you guys eating?

>>17065244
/thread

>>17060925
When you're eating a sausage and bite down on a bit of bone.

>>17063467
Nobody in that burger place was judging you, but I am. You're a confirmed beta cuck for taking two bites instead of just stuffing the remaining burger into your mouth and washing it down with some Dr. Pepper.

>>17067238
tbdesu I find it easier to use my pinkies to keep the patty in, wrappers are kind of annoying to deal with while eating

>>17060925
>take a bite of pizza
>pull all the cheese and toppings off

>>17061291
>When you have to take a shit in the middle of cooking a dish you have to pay attention to
This is a special kind of hell

>>17060939
A bowl of what? Meth?

>>17070010
That would be pretty based

>>17068041
motherFUCKER this pisses me off

>on the booze for a few days
>hangover sobering up
>decide to cook a good meal, loads of veg, some potato, nicely made meat
>take bite, start eating
>3 bites in gut notices solids entering
>shit pants
>run to toilet, shit everywhere
>meal ruined
it has happened more than once

>>17061452
>when you have to ask for everyone's plate of food back so it can go back in the oil

You have just finished eating your homemade meal and are impressed with the results.
It was cheap to make, and really tastes better before it goes into the fridge, so you ate a lot
You feel heavy and comfortable, ready to go to sleep
The thought of walking to your bedroom and jostling the food around nauseates you
>"Maybe I could just rest here and digest..."
You lay your head on the table. Not comfortable, but good enough.
>Suddenly, you realize you forgot about this

>>17071532
This is why cooking is a scam. Prepared food is for those who value their time.

>>17071540

>leftover tomatoes in fridge from last recipe
>decide to look for a recipe that utilizes the tomatoes
>prepare a list of other ingredients I need to complete the new recipe
>Go to the store and get everything
>Get ready to make the new recipe with the tomatoes
>Take them out of plastic bag
>see this

>>17065092
that's the best part
little more solid chunks

>>17068563
>alman not knowing hot to eat kebabs
pottery

>>17071576
>storing veggies in a plastic bag
you deserve this

>>17071532
you deserve this for not cleaning while cooking you dumb shit

>>17060940
How much soy sauce do you fucking put in the bowl? If it's splashing then you added too much. A little goes a long way, and using too many condiments is an insult to the chef.

>>17060939
:O

>>17060925
when u hear something explode in the oven
happened to me with limes before

>>17071878
>SLURPING QUIETLY IS AN INSULT TO THE CHEF!!!

>>17060925
That most likely means you're eating pizza for drunks and children. Fittingly so, you make a mess like one.

>>17060939
You mean charge a cone right cunt?

>>17061291
>when you think your reheated microwave dish is hot and the middle is still a bit cold
atrocity

>>17071576
This makes me rage

>>17071540
you're on a cooking board you half a meatball

>>17068525
same happens to me with crunchberries oops all berries

>>17068548
no this dude is the worst youtube cook ever

>>17061291
>When you eat Cheetos and forget a napkin
Just use chopsticks

>>17060925
>when you bite into a sandwich with bacon and start getting that floppy bit trying to pull it and all the rest of the internals out of the bread.

>>17071968
wow. ive had a '79 of this bottle. what a tragedy

>>17061291
>when you reddit post

>>17074061
>food and cooking
>food