/ck/ - Food & Cooking

I pretty much never wash my hands before i start cooking

I give advice in /ck/ based on youtube videos I watch.

I love chick fil a

I complain that we have too many fast food related threads and how nobody on this board cooks while ordering takeout for myself most of the time.
Just hate cooking regular dishes, its so boring

>>17054795
I eat carbs with carbs regularly.

Sometimes I use jar garlic

I eat at least six eggs a day

>>17054795
I didn't dry up some garlic once and it popped out of a cast iron skillet, I got a scar from that but it healed up in a year or so. That taught me to not go without clothes when cooking. Always wear at least a shirt.

I don't care about searing the salmon skin-first
I throw that skin away anyway

>>17054865
and underpants, if you think a burn on your arm is bad wait until you get some hot oil on your cock and balls

>>17054869
Heck yeah that too

>>17054869
Who the fuck cooks naked
>inb4 hentai scenes are real

>>17054873
I think we've done that when kids
, live and learn

>>17054873
I used to walk around naked in my house a lot in summer so I also cooked naked sometimes.

>>17054795
I won't touch anything vinegar based and I lose respect for people who do. I've only met one other person like this and I hold them in a different unique regard from literally anyone else I've ever met including family.

>>17054795
I hate pork, not a jew

>>17054838
I would say that there is a special circle of hell for you, but I do this sometimes with ginger when I run out.

i legitimately think mcdonalds tastes better than 80% of fancy restaurant burgers.

>>17055039
90% for me

I hate my life, and all human life.

>>17054947
but why

I have days worth of Thanksgiving leftovers that my family lovingly crafted for me. Yesterday was the last day a bit of that will be edible. I ate nachos and Halloween candy for dinner instead because I'm sick of Thanksgiving food. I threw the rest of the leftovers in the trash this morning.

I'm sorry.

I eat the same thing about 6 days a week. The one other day is usually just freeze junk.

>>17054795
My favorite way to cook bacon is to boil it.

>>17055064
I just hate women

>>17055099
well we hate you too, anon.

>>17054795
I've poured fat/oil down my own drain..
AND ITS GONNA BE MY PROBLEM
GOD HELP ME

I believe 95% of the oh so elaborate cooking methods or ingredients posted here make only tiny differences (if at all) to how the product will taste in the end. Different varieties of mushroom? Nope, they all taste the same. You claim you need a special kind of cheese for your dish? Again nope, 99% of all cheeses taste the same. Oh, at minute 5 in your recipe you put ingredient A in before ingredient B? Your dish is inevitably ruined now.
I'm right about all of this and you couldn't disprove me in a blind test. Also, caring that much about cooking is gay. The only person whose opinion I value when it comes to food are chefs. And you dweebs ain't chefs. I wish this board didn't exist.

>>17055191
Wrong thread but I would like a thread about this

>>17054892
>ah, yes, nipple hair alfredo, exquisite

>>17055064
>>17055099
>>17055105
I WANT TO KILL EVERY NIGGER IN THE WORLD
*Skrillex breakdown blares *

>>17055113
Run your sink until the water is extremely hot, Alternatively, boil a lot of water.

Cover the sink drain with a rag or something, fill the sink with the water.

Use tongues to remove the rag, and let gravity do its work.

>>17055105
London?

My sins are that im incredibly judgemental with food. Im truly disgusted by anyone who eats processed foods, drinks sodas, and eats chips and junk food daily. It shows low impulse control, low iq and lack of concern for their bodies. Human beings are not meant to eat this way, it effects everything from your skin to your gut flora to even your mood and personality. Most of these people come from super low income households too. I dont mean to be rude but im grossed out by anyone who doesnt take food, nutrition and health seriously. I almost dont look at them as real people or have any concern about their problems because theyre all self induced

>>17055264
based

>>17055066
Because I utterly despise it and when it is used in my presence I have to use all my power not to fly into an autistic rage, so it remains internalized and I keep a mental note in my mind, a stain on the persons record

In college, a few friends and I moved into a house. I was the first to arrive after summer and got a call from one of the roommates saying he got a dog. I was really pissed because I am pretty allergic. The house also had tons of mice (it was a party house) so I put rat poison around the house not only to kill the mice but to deter a dog from living there.

When my other roommates arrived and saw the mouse poison they were freaked out and I told them yeah it was there when I got here, there were tons of rats, and maybe we shouldn't have a dog here. They ended up just combing the house top to bottom and getting rid of all the poison.

I ended up feeding the dog rat poison inside ground beef. It didn't die but it almost did and my roommate ended up moving out to an apartment of his own, he was too freaked out about the dog finding hidden rat poison again. So in a way, it all worked out.

My wife leaves little plastic strips left over from opening packages on the counter. It pisses me off so much that I silently collected them for a couple months and dumped the whole lot onto her pillow so she could enjoy the mess before going to bed. She learned her lesson.

My wife also used to leave cupboard doors open which drove me fucking insane, how lazy is that, so I put child locks on them higher than she could reach. After a few days she acquiesced and I won. The locks are still on them as a threat and reminder but we have had few mistakes since that time.

My roommate's shitty pitbull cross used to steal my food and beg constantly and the roommate never did anything about it despite my complaints. So one day I fed it lots of raisins and grapes, partly to harm it but also to see if this was actually a real hazard to dogs, and the dumb dog almost died. I couldn't admit to this so a lesson was never learned but it was nice to know I was the alpha dog even surreptitiously.

When I was a teenager the nearby convenience store was owned by Chinese people who would always make me uncomfortable by staring at me and accusing me of trying to steal. I went in on a hot day and squeezed about 100 chocolate bars and used a razor blade to cut open about 50 bags of chips, all undetected. Didn't cost them very much but it made me feel better.

Someone in my old neighborhood used to steal figs from my trees and also pick my strawberries near the road. I confronted them several times, once with video evidence, and they first denied it then told me to go fuck myself. I knew they didn't have video surveillance so I waited almost a year until they went on vacation and I dumped 40 lbs of salt in their precious rhododendron garden. I would either pretend to knock on their door and throw pocketfuls of salt or walk my dog at night and dump salt hidden in dog shit bags. Their rhododendrons all died within a couple months. After trying to resod and replant they just spread riverstone.

>>17055505
what kind of 3rd world shithole country did you live in

>>17055516
What do you mean? America of course. What part of college party house didn’t you get?

>>17055516
I thought only americans used the term college

>>17055514
loser

>>17055071
You should've just told them there food was garbage

>>17055523
Only USAsian mutts think having mice in home is normal.

/ck/ chili spergs would have an aneurism if they knew how I've been making chili lately.

>>17055514
Are u black?

>>17054795
Forgive me father, for I put ketchup on steak.

>>17055191
Ok tastelet. Enjoy your American cheese and burnt garlic

>>17055736
I don't think you've ever seen how party house inhabitants live

>>17055505
I want to reach down your throat and pull your stomach out of your mouth.

>>17054795
I don't pray enough. I don't recognize that all that I have comes from God.

>>17054795
I vividly remember the first time i had a boiled sausage with ketchup

The ketchup was sickly sweet yet not trying to be sweet, and the sausage was like a fragrant edible rubber eraser. I really can recall my thoughts as I chewed that shit that day, when I was only like 7. I just remember thinking: "this is what Im supposed to like as a kid?"

My level of awareness astounds me sometimes.

I think the quarter pounder with cheese is one of the best burgers out there.

>>17055191
you're right. the differences are tiny, and 99.9% of the time nobody folllows a recipe to the letter. however each small change adds up to the dish as a whole. some things make bigger differences than others. so a good recipe will tell you in detail exactly what the cook did and what ingredients were used, but its up to the recipe reader to interpret what is neccesary and what isnt. e.g. baking a cake at 160C is an instruction to be followed exactly, the amount of orange zest you add to the icing will say 1/2tsp on the recipe because that's what the guy used, but its up to you really

My friends, family, and gf think I'm a great cook but in reality I just copy recipes I find online (mostly from Food Wishes) and call them mine

>>17056163
Following a recipe well is being a good cook
Creating a good recipe is being a good chef

>>17054838
>>17055035
Fresh garlic is a meme, shit tastes exactly the same

>>17055492
BASED
I'm the same
vinegar is objectively one of the most vile dish on earth

>>17055514
Based and revenge-pilled

>>17054795
I drink miller lite, mayonnaise is disgusting, and most "foodie" culture sucks.

>>17054873
people who live in hot countries

>>17055086
jesus fucking christ

now I can't eat tiramisu cause I keep tearin my suit

>>17055514
I'm getting deja Vu from this post

>>17054867
send it to me COD

work at a restaurant. everybody knows I eat from the leftovers, so now they leave me trays in the back with crawfish, crab, shrimp. I'll take it home and leave it room temperature and eat it the next day.

>>17055505
Imagine being so scared of confrontation that you'd rather murder a dog than assert yourself.

>>17056220
You're a fool.

>>17055505
It sounds bad, but I get this because I'm allergic to dogs too. I swear the same people who cry about people being insensitive are insensitive to people allergic to dogs. It's awful being allergic to something so common, and they think it's just having a little hayfever that some allergy medicine can take care of. At least it's more avoidable than milk or peanuts for the most part.
Next time say you converted to Islam.

>>17056625
Problem is some people love dogs way too much. They probably already knew he was allergic and decided they didn't care because lol man's best friend. It's most likely he would have been the one to be kicked out than the guy who bought the dog. I'm not condoning the action, but some people can be dicks to people allergic to dogs.

The only sin is throwing away food. The planet gave its land and animals gave their life for your meal. Respect it. It's sick and unacceptable if you throw away food.

>>17056677
Ok but antihistamines exist and poisoning a pet is psycho behavior. Get your feet chopped off, shitstain.

Sometimes I buy fruit/vegetables I won't eat just so I feel less self conscience going through the checkout

>>17056072
>OH NO NOT MUH HECKIN DOGGERINOS!!!

I absolutely loathe cheese of any and every kind.

I can't fucking cook steak and I always end up overcooking them on accident.

>>17056780
buy a meat thermometer

>>17055736
The house existed to party in and as a place to sleep. The former occupants were big partiers and regularly trashed the house and we continued the tradition. Those years in that house were like a Hollywood college movie it was an amazing wild time. I wouldn’t want to keep it going forever but I’m now married with kids and have a great career and those are some great memories.

>>17056070
This.

>>17056768
Can we get the copypasta?

>>17056816
Best I can do anon, im sorry

I like catchup mixed with mayonnaise.

>>17054795
I cant stop eating 7/11 taquitos even though they make me feel bad

I smeared butter on the dog as a kid
it was one of those big ass tubs of it

>>17055191
why do you post here then?

>>17054803
This isn't sin but a blessing, how can you or your loved ones become immune to illness without minute germs?

>>17055760
went to my grandmother in laws a couple years ago and she had made chili for when we arrived, it had carrots, corn, chickpeas, seemingly just whatever she had. It still had beef and chilis, but so much other shit.

>>17055505
Should’ve fed it more

>>17056816

>>17056933
any particular reason why

I prefer fast food or some sort of restaurant food over home cooked meals lately. Though probably because I can't really do my own cooking and I don't like what's normally made.

>>17056090
>My level of awareness astounds me sometimes.
If you had any more awareness you’d realize everyone else feels this way and you’re not special for feeling connected to your own mental processes.

>>17056768
Are you Asian?

I buy pork chops and chicken breasts with the intention of trying new recipes but i always end up making pork chops with a mushroom and wine sauce or chicken salad every time desu.

>>17056677
>but some people can be dicks to people allergic to dogs
Story of my fucking life. I have kicked out my visiting in-laws because they brought their fucking dog with them after I told them for WEEKS that I was allergic. They cursed me out but I don't give a fuck anymore. Had some peace and fucking quiet for thanksgiving and gonna be having the same for xmas this year.

>>17057380
Hopefully your wife wasn't too mad. It's insane how people don't seem to consider it a big deal. They think it's like their pollen allergies and that you can just take allergy medication for it. Try telling someone allergic to milk, peanuts, shellfish, etc. and see how well that goes. Those allergy medications are pretty much only made for pollen allergies, and it really only makes them a bit more mild. If they worked that well, epipens wouldn't be needed.

>>17057380
>Had some peace and fucking quiet for thanksgiving and gonna be having the same for xmas this year.
My man

>>17054795
i enjoy the Devour frozen Buffalo Mac and Cheese

>>17054795
I will often have apple sauce when I have mashed potatoes and let them touch on the plate so I can enjoy them together. I don’t mix them, but a bite of mashed potatoes with some apple sauce tastes good.

I just found out last year that u can cook eggs in the microwave
I haven't stopped since

I never wipe the egg whites out of the shells before tossing them. I'm not frugal enough to care.

>>17055191
>The only person whose opinion I value when it comes to food are chefs. And you dweebs ain't chefs. I wish this board didn't exist.
Yet these are the exact same people espousing these purportedly useless actions like browning some onions before adding them to something or using swiss instead of cheddar cheese. You're just trying to be an edgy faggot.

>>17054795
I love taco bell, sometimes I go for a walk and eat it without my girlfriend knowing as she finds it disgusting

>>17057380
Why couldn't they tie the little shit up out back?

>>17056103
that's not a sin that's just the truth

>>17054795
i fucking hate barbecuing and i would rather pan fry or use a griddle in 100% of occasions

>>17058537
That’s not a sin, it’s just objectively correct. However, while I agree with you I think smoking meat is something worth doing that can’t be done better in a pan.

>>17055514
You just know your wife is fucking another man

>>17054803
unless you take a shit or handle money without washing your hands, i don't think anyone will ever get sick

>>17055505
Fucking based

>>17054795
i make really unhealthy pastries and biscuits full of butter and shit and then try to give as many away to friends and family so i'm not the one that gets fat

I fucking hate preparing meat. I like pan fried chicken steaks and stir fry but I hate cutting the meat and how the oil sprays everywhere so much that I'd rather just not make it.

>>17055514
first three are sort of weird, like just talk to your wife
but the last two are insanely based

>>17054795
I ordered an ate an anchovy and pineapple pizza from Papa John's. I figure they just thought somebody was fucking with them at first.

Yes, I ate it and it wasn't all that bad.

>>17055191
>99% of all cheeses taste the same
stopped reading there

The first time I tried to make a pizza from scratch
>I didn't understand yeast
>thought I didn't activate it right
>throw the dough away.
>throw something away hours later
>dough did rise in trash
>fuck
>attempt second pizza
>dough rose correctly
>formed into a circle
>put sauce and toppings on
>try to lift it onto pan t
>collapses into a saucy mess on the counter
>try Frankensteining it back together
>sad cheese ball
>throw it away
Forgive me father I didn't mean to waste 2 pizzas due to autism.

>>17055505
Based

My earliest memory is getting into the car to go to McDonald's one night. I'm 31.

When I was 13 I regularly would cook 'omelets' by microwaving a 2-3 beaten egg in a bowl. It would always form this repulsive puck of rubbery eggs and I did everything I could to make it palatable, like sprinkling chili powder on it before/after cooking, adding salt, trying to mix in shredded cheese, etc, but I would always overdo it and feel sick after. I didn't have a great homelife as a kid so I was proud that I was able to feed myself even if it was revolting.

A week ago I made a classic french omelet so I've come a ways.

I can't cook. I come here to gossip about fast food, sweats and frozen Pidsa

>>17058902
You're supposed to pre-bake the crust before you add toppings and sauce you dingo

>>17058926
no pizza place does that

>>17058936
and they have a commercial grade pizza oven with a steel or stone, whereas you don't

>>17057322
Based

>>17055505
funny this post is based
>>17055514
but people wince over this
based selective psychopaths morals are too much

I don't season hand to pan.

>>17056163
>>17056167
Based

I've eaten peanut butter sandwiches, boiled potatoes with boiled eggs and baloney kale sandwiches every single day for the past 2 and a half years.

This is my worst food sin. When I was around 9 years old my dad had me make a can of tomato soup for him, and I had a cold. Due to the cold, I had a very runny nose, and a big snotty snot dropped out of my nose into the soup while I was cooking it. Because he had an explosive abusive temper it was just easier to pretend like it didnt happen and serve it to him than have to explain to him why I had to throw away a .50 cent can of soup and cook a new one. Now he is doing several decades in prison, and I am sure boogers in his soup are the least of his problems.

>>17055505
>>17055514
Why did you post pasta so close to one and other? You should of spaced them out.

>>17055191
Only one of those things is correct

>>17059055
Based Gimi poster

>>17059347
filename says kimi not gimi, absolute heresy

>>17055039
>>17055058
I go for the King myself.

>>17058936
>>17058940
Just slide it directly from the counter to a tray, no need to pick it up or pre-bake

>>17054795
I wanted to eat cereal really bad that day but there wasn't enough milk so I mixed it with water

>>17059397
> not putting it on the tray and then adding toppings
How actually retarded are you all?

>>17056220
Rip anon's dead tastebuds

>>17054795
I'm so lazy that I neglect to salt my oatmeal or cream of wheat on most mornings and just eat it completely bland.

I've never eaten an egg in my life.

>>17054809
Exceedingly based

>>17054873

I was in China eating and it was one of those places that were halfway outside I don't know what they're called, I was just on vacation but anyway they brought out eggrolls and we wanted to eat them but they were too hot and I (being an idiot) poked one with my chopstick, almost like you would one of those little weenies with a toothpick but with a chopstick and they came out and stretched my foreskin opening out really big, like waaaaaaaay too big

>>17055492
nigga you have no taste

>>17055191
the only thing I really agreed with you was that mushrooms do all kinda taste the same with only minor variation. The rest is all baitposting so here's your (you)

>>17056220
mans got that long covid.

>>17060347
the 4-5 types that are in every grocery store mostly taste the same.... shiitake flavor is definitely stronger and the big fat dick mushroom at asian grocers tastes different to me though

>>17054838
I ALWAYS use jarred garlic (in every situation I don't need whole garlic). Started using it a couple years ago, haven't gone back since.

>>17055492
you might be possessed by a demon or something

>>17058369
who tf does that???

>>17054795
I fucking hate having to clean anything i use to cook. Literally makes me rather not eat all day than bother cooking.

i always eat ice cream straight from the container

>>17059078
replaces cringe with winced to not look so much like a reddit fag.

>>17060378
Maybe I just need to try them again while paying attention cause desu I've never been able to tell the difference.

>>17059207
Jesus christ. do you even enjoy life?

When I had to live at my gf's parent's house for a bit my lazy meal was Aldi's brand canned chili mixed with their version of Kraft blue box. In a much better place now lmao

>>17054795
-I hate raw onion
-I once made a Thai curry with birdseye peppers, didnt wash my hands after chopping them and after dinner fingered my ex and burned her ladyparts off.
- Spring onions are a thing of the devil, mask every other flavor, and if you like them i hate you
- Cilantro taste like soap

>>17060426
you know quite a bit about reddit, heckin' head on back!

>>17060426
This post made me wince

>>17055105
Post bobs and vagene

In 1999 outside payson az, I let a little girl die (i assume) the last thing she ate was spagetti o's. We had so much fun and she brought me alot of pleasure and she deserved better than that.

>>17060509
>- Cilantro taste like soap
The first time I cooked something that called for cilantro I ended up tossing the whole thing out because I literally thought the pot I was using had dish soap in it that I forgot to clean.

>>17054838
Mother always used jarred garlic. When I would use fresh garlic she acted like I was some culinary expert for mincing it.

In college I lived in the same apartment for three years. It was down the street from a grocery store. Didn't even need a car to go to it. I could push a shopping cart between the two, and there was even a bus stop that went the 1/4 of a mile in front of it to in front of my apartment. So basically the most convenient grocery store ever

Best of my recollection, literally all I ever bought and cooked for myself in three years was pasta. And it wouldn't be good, fancy pasta. I would just have pasta with a jarred sauce poured on it. Every night. I don't remember in three years buying any meat to cook for myself.

I guess that explains the level of abject misery and depression I was in for all of college.

I have never learned "proper" knife skills. And this is after 20 years in the restaurant business.

>>17061829
"proper knife skills" are for cereal killers

>>17061827
My experience at college was quite good but I tend to be a bit self-sabotaging and difficult. So while I put myself into social situations and ultimately grew a lot it was not always easiest and I can empathize with your description.

Did you ever live in a dorm? How are things now?

I don't drink kefir yogurt I just use it for smoothies

i sometimes put cheese on top of my chocolate spread (nutella is gross btw, eat nugatti)

I neglect cooking and order food so much that sometimes the meat that I buy spoils and I end up throwing it out.

>>17054795
I unironically like McDonald's.

>>17055514
>>17055505
Yeah I'm thinking based

>>17055514
That last one is insanely based. Being able to wait long enough to get away with your revenge is something most people's goldfish memory isn't capable of doing.

>>17055514
>so I waited almost a year until they went on vacation and I dumped 40 lbs of salt in their precious rhododendron garden
absolute based and spqrpilled

>>17056220
Cooklet detected

>>17054838
same

>>17055514
Based chocolate bar squeezer

>>17054795
I eat everything with ketchup ,
I like my burgers and steaks well done ,
I ignore pretty much any and all cooking advices and cook nearly anything in pan and in the same pan

I don't cook the frozen food I eat if it's hot out

>>17055492
At least you're a self aware autist.

>>17055191
>i have never cooked food before in my life.
Do you have covid? Is that why you cant taste anything?

>>17060347
I'm not trying to be a snob but you've never had good mushrooms.
Cheap variants that you get from supermarkets are all bland, and even markets can be pretty hard to tell the difference.
If you get some wacky varieties from obscure markets they can vary in taste massively.

>>17054795
I don't know how to cook. I only browse here because I like eating food.

>>17059274
it aint no sin to save your own skin

>>17055254
>ah, yes, my name is Alfredo and I have nipple hair
Do you look like a chimp without a shirt on?

>>17064512
Same LOL. I was proud of myself for making refried beans the other day, that and rice pudding are about the most complex foods I've ever cooked.

I have no idea what a walnut tastes like. I've been eating pecans and almonds recently so I should go out and buy some

>>17064512
>>17066461
Damn, is everything packaged then?

>>17064448
To me they all taste more or less the same. Morels, chanterelles, blewits, hedgehog, Hericium you name it they just don’t do it for me. Matsutake has a stronger distinctive taste but not really my thing. I know places to pick all these mushrooms but rarely do because it just isn’t compelling enough to do so. If I have guests staying at my house or people bug me I’ll take them out but other than that I just don’t care about mushrooms. Way overvalued imo.

>>17056163
>Food Wishes
Chef John knows his shit

>>17058508
Because people love dogs way too much

>>17054795
I bought an air fryer

I love cheap malt liquor. No, I'm not a jogger. It's cheap, enough taste to not be pisswater, and gets a good buzz going quick.

>>17055514
This all sounds completely justified. I don't think my wife has thrown away a wrapping of any kind on her own in years. She just leaves the sons of bitches on the counter. Maybe I'll take a leaf out of this mad lad's book.

I will eat anything if you tell me its good for me. I forced myself to eat canned spinach and cold steaks while at work because I was told it was good for me, but I didn't care about the temperature of my food. One of my favorite meals is fried eggplants with salt and pepper on fridge cold day old rice. I will eat shit that doesn't taste good just because it feels so good on my teeth. I eat whole chicken bones, and if they're too spiny when I crunch down on them I suck all the marrow out. When I was cutting extreme weight while at a boxing gym I would eat a concoction of hotdogs, eggs and mayo in a plastic box I made before I went to the gym. I used to use old 2 liter coke bottles as my water bottle at my gym as well. I don't think there's a food I dislike too much, I'm very allergic to fresh jackfruit but I have eaten it multiple times to the point of my throat seizing up. I once saw my head chef when I was at a restaurant eating the raw pork mix for the siu mai but thats one thing I'll never fucking try.

>>17056220
xd wtf are you talking about

>>17055297
that's called being a narcissistic psychopath
good for you, you have the CEO gene

>>17055514
>all these newfag replies
this is pasta you morons

>>17056600
How do you ever expect to bang any of the skanky hos that work there if they all pity u instead

>>17059274
what did your old man do

>>17057322
Iktf
Whenever I buy chicken breast I end up just throwing it in a wrap with some salad as a lazy dinner

Related: I only buy those prewashed bags of salad, I havent gotten a proper head of lettuce or other leaf veggies in years

>>17067370
he ate boogers, can you not read?v8vrk

>>17054795
I make lasagna without cheese on top

>>17054848
But are you as large as a barge?

i fucked the thanksgiving turkey

>>17056105
>Hasn't learned about subjectivity yet
>Thinks all ingredients are consistent
>Has never baked at altitude

Anon, I....

>>17067145
>I don't think my wife has thrown away a wrapping of any kind on her own in years. She just leaves the sons of bitches on the counter.
Same here. When I see it on the counter I pick it up and stare at her while throwing it away. Whenever I say something she basically says "whatever" or it turns into a "well anon I pick up after you all day, big deal it's a wrapper, blah blah blah" drive me crazy. It's 100% laziness and I don't understand how you can remove a wrapper or strip off a package and instead of putting it directly in the garbage you leave it on the countertop.

We've gotten into fights about it. Well I ask her to remember to throw them out and she escalates it into a fight. Women quickly learn that if they amplify and escalate any criticism into a fight men will eventually learn to just keep their mouths shut. Fuck that. Her mom might have her father pussy whipped but I'm not going down that path of being incrementally beaten down until you walk on eggshells lest you disturb they queen.

You know what? I'm going to start saving the wrappings and do this. It's a passive aggressive bitch move but fuck it.

>>17054795
I like my scrambled eggs slightly overcooked.

>>17055191
lmao, you peaked mentally as a child.

>>17067630
Fine by me.

I'm getting to the age where the American habit of '10X MOAR CHEESE!!!' does not agree with my insides. It's actually pretty disgusting and I can see why some cultures are left wondering just where it all went wrong.

>>17068751
Oh hai Jack.

>>17054947
Don't let your 'tisms cloud your judgement of others anon.

>>17068782
I can't help it. It's deeply psychologically rooted from childhood. As long as I don't see it, it does not bother me, but if they have the audacity to do it in my presence I never look at them the same way again.

My sense of smell is so bad I have a pretty dulled pallet.

I can't tell if Cilantro tastes like soap or not. I am the worst at describing flavors

Hiding on toilet at work after lunch. Big diahreah. I dont think theres enough toilet paper. Might hide the rest of day

>>17055071
Did the same. No one in my family has heard of seasonings

>>17055514
based psychopathy

>>17068811
Father used vinegar as lube to get into your little ass, huh?

>>17054803
You're supposed to wash your hands?

>>17054795
my brother had to run to the store so i drained the water from the broccoli he was steaming and prentended i was napping the whole time when he got back
i hate broccoli

>>17060433
If you can find lionsmane try that. It's very different from any other mushroom. Just fry it up in butter, salt, pepper, just a lil garlic. Texture is unreal. Something totally different.

I eat like total shit because I have good metabolism and I don't care about life.

>>17054795
i put butter in my coffee
i put brown sugar, honey and caramel syrup in my ramen and pasta

>>17055029
It's pretty good when it's spiced or in a sauce but I can see where you're coming from. Pork fucking stinks and unless it's high quality stuff it's gonna have a kinda 'dirty' taste to it. Same with duck too imo. Now I think about it, why is it that chinks love your smelly meat so much?

>>17056220
Lmao what kind of shitty, fresh garlic are you getting.

>>17055113
>>17055271
don't forget to add lots of soap. soap breaks the lipids down tomix with water

>>17055071
My mom actually makes very good food with great spice and seasoning, especially her cranberries. Shouldn’t have thrown it out

>>17059286
>You should of
Illiterate nigger

I keep buying food that's 2 spicy for me
I'm a masochistic eater

>go to the suburban white people walmart with lax security

>Find shit I want (usually bacon and beef jerky)

>Go to the self checkout and scan a 1 dollar frozen steam veggies bag over the bacon (most walmarts self checkout scales don't work)

>Eat veggies and meat.

Yes I am black and no I don't feel bad about super corporation

I used to make threads showing the delicious food I cooked

I cook all my eggs in my microwave via a porcelain cup

>>17054795
I eat raw meat before I cook it to make sure it's gonna taste good

>>17055191
when cooking sloppah maybe not
but when baking it's important to follow the recipe to the t

>>17055514
let me guess: you're black

>>17066773
Gonna make me some Nashville Fried Chicken just because of him. Comfy, not a buttersoft bitch, has a sense of humor, and doesn't give a shit.

>>17072966
typical nigger parasite ruining high-trust societies

The fact that most blacks share your mindset is why all of your countries are corrupt, impoverished, third world shitholes

>>17071117
kek owned

>>17056933
butter dawg

>>17072966
You ever wonder why people don't like to live around niggers?

>>17074568
Because racial segregation and politics is encouraged in America to avoid working-class consciousness.

>>17054795
Since I've found cheap and deliciously tender smoked bacon bits at a local store, I've been eating raw bacons bits without anything else on a weekly basis.

>>17072966
megabased, loving these corpocucks replying to you crying about walmart losing $3

>>17072966

>>17059220
>>17059298
>>17059510
>>17071988
fucking lmao

>>17074734
>crosslinking to your own posts
holy crinj

>>17054795
I think margarine is tasty.

I believe there is such a thing as 'too much cheese'

I'm not afraid of GMOs.

I think seasoning food is important, but dumping every spice available onto everything is bad.

>>17074739
The conversation in that thread happened three days ago.

I hate ketchup

>>17074734
Imagine unironically living in a shithole city.

>>17054795
I don't tip when I get takeout.

I fucking love gravy, whenever I'm "tasting it" while cooking I always go through a few spoonfuls of it because it's so good.

I just got back from tasting the onion gravy I'm having with my pie and roast potatoes, delicious stuff, possibly my best ever onion gravy.

>>17055191
>I wish this board didn't exist.
stopped reading there

>>17058902
It's okay fren we all make mistakes. I added too much flour and not enough water so the first pizza I ever made was complete ass. Crunchy, like a chip, and just not nice. I was so angry I went back and did it again and the second one I didn't punch down, so it looked like a tumorous mass and weighed like twelve pounds (exaggeration) but it was good. You just have to try and read instructions and level accurately. You can do it, I believe in you fren

>>17054795
Everything I make is microwaved with a 700-watt oven even though most things call for an 1100 or greater. I never wash my hands and dish washing usually involves a light rinse with no soap. Also, to be efficient, if there's a pot soaking in the sink (to clean) I'll re-use the water in that pot to boil ramen noodles or something.

>>17056245
That's not "BASED" you fuckin spaz. Go back to reddlt and take your pills for your fake mental health problems.

>>17056935
What else does he have to do?

>>17056625
Wouldn't harm an animal unless forced (food/defense), but there are plenty of times I've asserted myself when I would have lost little or less by being passive-aggressive or being a bitch.

I used to severely burn any stove/oven/grilled meal about half the time, and undercook it and require multiple sessions a quarter of the time. I wasted a lot of food just from being unable to stomach it.

Now I use several internal/external thermometers and it rarely happens.

>>17055514
Deeply based

>>17055514
the bitterness of this mf

I'm supposed to be on a diet but the family size box of cheez-its has soiled my streak

why does my body crave sodium when it's literally bad for me, I'm fucking dehydrated as shit gulping down these propels like water

>>17054838
*jarlic

>>17069308
Did you make it out ok anon?

>>17054795
I was pretty fat growing up and I was in the mall food court with my parents at a chinese stall and I ordered the biggest meal they serve and a coke. My mom told the cashier it was a diet coke and I said “that’s not how this works” very aggressively and got a regular coke. I’m sure she still remembers it. It was a weird thing for an 8 year old to say. Feels bad.

>>17054795
I once accidentally grated a chunk of my thumb off when grating cheese for a meal and instead of cleaning it out or grating another pile of cheese I just cooked the meal with a little bit of my grated thumb in the food and didn't tell anybody

A few friends and I started a Fight Club in high school. It was the time the movie came out and we really went for it hard. It started with fighting each other then got to be as much as a dozen people. We wanted to expand and do hardcore anti-establishment/nihilistic shit but it ended up only being the original four of us going that route. Mostly elaborate vandalism, fucking with people, graffiti, theft etc.

I had a surge of confidence and started hooking up with girls like crazy. I would do not-so-nice things to them, basically degrade them, as a calling card and to prove I didn't give a fuck.

One girl was a virgin and sort of a goody-good type.One night we were going to have sex for her first time and I went straight for anal. She didn't know what to do but keep quiet. I then went to her pussy, I was rock hard thinking about ass-to-pussy being her first time. I ended up cumming in her ass and left my dick in there until I got soft, then I pissed in her ass.

I never said anything and she just ran to the bathroom. I eventually left and she avoided me afterwards. I of course told everyone I pissfucked her ass and was pretty cruel about it, to this day I can't explain my actions and mentality back then.

I am now in finances with a wife and two kids and that's all behind me. But I saw this girl just three months ago and she was married and pregnant. It was awkward as fuck and her husband left the line we were in to grab something and she simply told me she never wants to see me again and that I was a piece of shit. All I did was nod and say "I know".

I have dozens of fucked up stories from that period of my life. I'm basically numb to it but the things we did are unexplainable. Oddly enough, of the other three friends, one is a doctor, one is an engineer with his own lucrative firm, and the other is a high school teacher. We still see each other whenever we are all back home, which isn't often.

Those were the days though.

>>17075549
Reminds me of that time when I was 10 that I got so annoyed at my sister whining at me that I slapped her out of rage and immediately regretted it
I still don't know what came over me because I'd never had anger issues or anything like that before or after that incident, I just kinda did it and hated myself for it

>>17075737
It’s me. The fat chinese food anon. Something similar happened with my older brother. We were playing mario kart and be was getting shafted by a bunch of blue shells and he got so pissed he shoved me onto the floor. I think it was the only time he ever did anything like that. My mom brought it up like 20 years later to me and she said he regretted it terribly. I want to tell him I forgive him so he can get over it. Maybe just say you’re sorry. They might not even remember. I was really drunk one time and pissed myself in some guy’s backseat in college and didn’t tell him and I felt terrible about it. I told him a few years later and he said he didn’t even remember but all was forgiven. Just apologize, anon. It’ll be a load off, and it’s the right thing to do.

>>17054947
I'm this way with ketchup.

I ate a roommates hungryman tv dinner years ago. I was never caught but I feel guilty about it every once in a while.

I bought the Cheetos brand Mac & Cheese and genuinely enjoyed it.

>>17075930
I tried the flamin hot ones and it tasted like dogshit
was it because I got the cup and not the box?

>>17075937
I got the box. I also used a lot of butter and added bacon.

>>17075967
might have to try that then
boxed mac and cheese is a big guilty pleasure for me

I put ketchup on soup, tastes good imo

>>17054803
I'd rape your mother with a screwdriver for raising such a disgusting scumcunt as you

>>17062172
what do you do with the smoothies?

>>17076052
I NEVER wash my hands, ive literally gotten SHIT on my hands wiping my ass a few times and I just wipe it off my fingers, run em under water for 2 seconds and go back to work. If no visual poo I don't even bother with water

>>17076193
Based, there's literally no point to washing your hands if you aren't in a hospital

I never wash my hands before cooking. If there is a guest over and I’m making food and go to the bathroom (piss or shit) I just run the tap for 5 seconds so they think I’m washing my hands.

To peel garlic I just bite the root side off with my teeth instead of using a knife. I do this when guests are eating at my place but do it when no one is looking.

Me and a few friends/roomies once jerked off in the food of a bro’s gf we hated and she ate it.

>>17076193
this guy thinks its normal to have itchy irritated eyes all the time

>I don't season my food I season my hands

>>17056220
deadass had me rofling. on god no cap bruh

i eat a lot of my food as i prepare it
sometimes i just grab it out of the pan with my hands and eat it
if i'm cooking for anyone else, i'll make theirs separate so i can just eat as i cook

>>17054795
after my girlfriend goes to bed i drink on our patio while smoking cigs

>>17055039
its quite possible that you've had 'good' quality burgers and are simply retarded.

>>17076534
Based bro

>>17076534
Based peace and quiet bro

>>17056220
They hated him because he told the truth

>>17076534
literally doing that right now but it's my wife

>>17076534
>>17076632
>>17076783
>>17076822
Based. I have hot baths while drinking scotch watching movies or even shitposting. I’m in the bath right now drinking ice cold water after having a second scotch, leaning over the tub and typing as we speak.

>>17055191
you are retarded and i say that as an actual professional chef. i don't even care if you believe me, but please understand that you are wrong.

>>17076201
>>17076193
>>17054803
Nasty ass white people

>>17075714

Slavic hands typed this

Not /ck/ related but when out of town and sitting at a red, I time when the light is gonna turn green and pretend like I'm gonna give some money to a panhandler then flip them off and drive away

>>17074998
It is based though. Ya seethin shootin retardootin

I secretly put MSG in everything I cook.

>>17054795
this happened like 3-5 years ago.
i was making french toast.
i mixed pasta sauce, mayonaisse and chilli sauce and use it as a dip.
the taste is kind of okay, i guess.

>>17076861
Just Say No.

>>17055029
I hate jew, not a pork

I cook three slices of bacon on top of an Ellios pizza and call it a meal. It sets off the fire alarm no matter what I do, but I don't really care

If one were to eat a minnow from a freshwater river in a pretty isolated area what are the odds of getting a parasite? How would you know if you had a tapeworm?

once I fucking the whole kitchen

>>17077777
Wow. What a waste

>>17054873
>Jews fear the butt naked chef

>>17064936
Bro my ass is so hairy it always smells like shit and is always oily, I shaved it once but it made me feel like a fag baka

>>17054795
I break my pasta in half when I make spaghetti

>>17077214
More like based on shit taste.

>>17054947
Imagine not liking vinegar. State of you

>>17077818
Kek

Egg triggers my gag reflex.

>>17078323
You smell bad, stay away from me.

>>17076855
Cool story nigger

I triple the butter for any nonbaking recipe and everyone thinks I'm sort of cooking genius. I'm just clogging their arteries

>>17055514
>>17055505
https://voca.ro/1gHfMChys9o7

>>17068655
Do note anons, this is what getting married does to a mf. Don't, please, for your own sake.

>>17079863
Fuck you you propagate the white race or its into the slave camps you go.

>>17075714
extremely jewish story, fortunately fake however

>>17079877
>into the slave camps you go
I think you may have misread, I said NOT to get married.

>>17079901
Hearty kek

>>17077553
>How would you know if you had a tapeworm?
>>17077553
When your fatass starts to lose weight despite your diet.

I am a picky eater. Im Korean, but I cant eat Kimchi. This makes me very sad. Sometimes when I go to someones house to eat, I get very anxious that Ill be served something I cant eat, and embarrass myself in front of everyone.

>>17056946
Hey dumb fuck, natural immunity and the immune system is medical misinformation, retard. Only experimental science juice can give you protection with lifetime boosters.