/ck/ - Food & Cooking

yes, you get a turkey breast lobe and roast it with instant mash, and a can of green beans as sides.

>>17023098
Who that dick destroyer on the left

>>17023098
who is that penis annihilator towards the port side of my screen

>>17023117
some stripper

>>17023098
Buy a small turkey breast. If your grocery store doesn't suck goat balls, the deli will have assorted sides. Hit the liquor store for some good bourbon.
Wa-La

>>17023098
Go to the bar, stay as late as you can. The women there on family holidays are willing to do anything. Just make sure you don't get baited by a prostitute.

Go to the bar at Applebee's

>>17023146
>>17023138
by myself?

>>17023165
They don’t care. If the bitch waiter or bartender does than leave because that place hires fags.

>>17023165
Its perfectly respectable to go to a bar alone, especially if you want to get laid.

>>17023098
Just cook a whole turkey dinner and eat it by yourself over a few days.

>>17023165
Yeah, just don't get drunk out of your mind. People start pairing off towards closing time.

>>17023098
Lefty could catch this d fr fr

I got a "Thanksgiving for one" pre-made meal from my grocers
The cashier frowned at me
I did not enjoy the experience

>>17023560
What a bitch. They don't know what the fuck your situation is. I hate cashiers so much. It's one of the first jobs that should be replaced by robots. fucking idiots. I would come eat with you bro. I hope you have a happy thanksgiving.

>>17023560
>>17023568
>caring what cashiers think
the fuck? hold are you autists?

>>17023575
It's a person you are forced to interact with? Maybe you are a sales person and every conversation means nothing to you because you say 100,000 words a day and they have no meaning. But some people live more reserved life's and our social interaction carries a little more weight.

>>17023587
i don't talk to anyone all day and i don't give a fuck what someone minimum wage worker bee thinks about me. it literally has 0 bearing on your life so why would you?

>>17023098
what's the source of this image?

>>17023098
that is a tiny fucking kick drum.
would serve zero purpose for real tunes with riffing axes.

>>17023098
It's thanksgiving anon, do what will make you happy. Plenty of people work on holidays so getting takeout isn't that strange.
Also, LORD have mercy the girl on the left. I just love leather/vinyl leggings

>>17023098
Just literally eat any fucking food you fucking weirdo.
Oooo the government said ai have to est turkey todayy!!@!
Fucking freak

MMUH MU MUH FABKSIGIVNG BROS
MUH GOBERMENT SAI MUH MUH GOBERMENT DSIF I HAVE TONESAT TURKEY B BROS... BROS MU
MUH TURKEY BROS

kys i really mean it

MUH FANKSAGIBING BROS

>>17023713
>>17023722
>>17023725
Turkey schizo gobble gobble

What a fucking actual freak lmao
Im actually lmaoing right now

>>17023547
shut up leaf

>>17023098
>I don't want to be that weird guy getting takeout alone on thanksgiving.
Nobody cares bro, just do what you want

>>17024386
We laugh at you behind your back.

>>17023098
Eat whatever you want and feel free to join us on /sp/ for football discussion

Dress down, and go to a mission offering Thanksgiving meals to bums.

>>17023713
>the government said
No you fucking retarded faggot the turkey is from the tradition which predates the government. Ignorant fuck.
But yeah you right he can eat what he likes, he don't have to be constrained by tradition if he doesn't want to.

>>17024386
Wrong. I pay very close attention to weird loners in public so I can mimic them in my funposting.

>>17023098
do you want to cook? roast a chicken, make a couple of sides and buy/make a pie. eat leftovers for the next three days e z p z

>>17023098
last year I was alone for thanksgiving and got some chinese takeout, was pretty comfy. no one gives a shit if you're getting takeout alone.

but yes it's also entirely possible to cook a thanksgiving dinner for one. just grab some turkey breast and make a few sides. depending on how comfortable with cooking you are you can just grab some instant stuffing or mashed potatoes which are impossible to fuck up. if you want specific cooking advice then /ck/ should have a few thanksgiving threads up.

>>17023098
I'm in the same boat man. Who cares what people think, therr are tons of people who do thanksgiving alone because their far from family or have none left. You're not going to be the only one. I'm hitting a chinese buffet for mine since its been a while since I've gone.

>>17023098
Why don't you just make an incredible meal for yourself.

Since you're only cooking for 1, you could drop some cash on really nice shit and not have to worry about not getting enough or people not paying you back.

You could easily recreate a $300+ restaurant meal at home for around $100 with leftovers to have later.

>>17024905
$100 on a single meal? Why would I do that?

>>17023098
sauce for girl on left?

>>17025004
A nice bottle of wine can be $30-50 easy. Prime grade beef is $15-20 a pound, and you might want leftovers.

Some things are delicious and worth the extra money, especially if it's a once a year treat. Maybe you're too broke, and I'm sorry. But eating take out certainly isn't fiscally responsible.

>>17025077
This thread should be a mission on how to find the girl on the left. Anything else is not worthwhile discussion.

MUH GOOBERMENT SAID

>>17023098
Just get the Hungry Man turkey and gravy frozen dinner. It's what I do. Eat at home alone after a long walk or hike innawoods.

>>17024899
See you on mighty spee for turkeyb owl celebrations

>>17025127
She is a stripper that works at the yellow rose and red rose in austin texas.

>>17025342
stage name?

>>17025355
Gooberment Sadie. I keep saying it and nobody is listening.

>>17025367
kek

>>17025367
>>17025212
Fuck off schizo

>>17025324

>>17025424
Sportsball consumers are terminally retarded

>>17023098
check your local church or other community center ,they have public dinners for anyone to attend around this time of the year.

>>17025758
Also lots of bars have thanksgiving dinners. I had a great thanksgiving dinner for free at a dive bar in Pittsburgh. Good times. Someone got to drunk and was thrown out (literally).

>>17023229
>just don't get drunk out of your mind
bad advice, if you get drunk out of your mind alone at a bar on any holiday you are guaranteed to wake up next to something the next day

>>17023098
>Is it possible to cook a thanksgiving dinner for one?
nope

be thankful OP you don't have to put up with your retarded families politics and ideas.

>>17025507
Oh I forgot they play football on thanksgiving. Only sportsball I watch these days is the 4cc (/ck/ was disappointing this last one) and Aussie Rules

>>17023098
anon just buy like $50 worth of chinese food, if it's anything like the places by me you'll get a shit ton of food. maybe buy some liquor or weed or whatever you like. just enjoy your holiday, eat some food, enjoy your preferred media may that be sports/anime/youtube/shows/movies/games or whatever. no point in being sad about it, might as well just try to make the best of it.

>>17023098
Good lord, look at that dump truck.

>>17023123

-chicken cutlets with chicken gravy
-garlic mashed potatoes, also with said gravy
-cornbread stuffing
-sauteed brussels sprouts with garlic and parmesan
-fresh buttered dinner rolls

There's your base. What's your nostaligic soft spot after that? Green bean casserole? Do that and add a few extra minutes to your time. Yams or sweet potatoes? Do that and just start them early so you don't add much time. Homemade cranberry sauce? A few minutes of prep, tops. Glazed carrots? 10 minutes.

A perfectly easy, customizable, Thanksgiving Dinner for 1 or 2 within an hour. And before you bitch about pies or whatever, I've rarely met a homemade pie that would disgrace a $4 whatever from a grocery store. Or make it apple or cherry or do a peach drop cobbler with a few extra minutes.

And if you like all the "snacky" buildup to the actual dinner, how much does that really take to put together? Chipped beef with horseradish? Celery and peanut butter? Olives and pickles? Smokies and BBQ sauce? A cracker and cheese plate? Minutes a piece, if that.

>>17025957
This is what I'm doing, I think they're the only ones open on Thursday. Was gonna get a bunch of Boston market but they're closed like all week.
Tons of Chinese food, bunch of soda and just relaxing watching movies and playing video games all day. Not even answering the phone all day.

>>17025957
>family holiday that the whole country is celebrating with their loved ones
>bro just enjoy being reminded of your worthlessness and the fact that nobody wants to be around you. Just enjoy being lonely bro! Get drunk and stuff your face with Chinese food! That'll make you feel like you have any value at all! Don't be a sad about your absolute loneliness and solitude while the world around you is enjoying the reality of others!

>>17023098
Redpill me on thanksgiving, burgerbros. Who are you thanking? And why turkey, I think it's an immensly underwhelming bird.

>>17026267
would any of that make you feel any better? you're fucking retarded, and you deserve to be alone.

>>17026488
Its to give thanks for everything good in your life. IIRC natives shared a feast with settlers that included turkey and corn.

>>17023098
you're already a weirdo for thinking its weird to get takeout alone on thanksgiving id say go for it

Sauce me on OP's pic so I can stalk that bitch on the left.

>>17023098
my other options suck this year so i decided im going to make thanksgiving for myself and my dog.

>>17023098
>I don't want to be that weird guy getting takeout alone on thanksgiving
you already said you'll be alone, who will judge you?

>>17026729
>who will judge you?
the gooberment

>>17026488
Originally they were occasional feasts specifically to thank the injuns for rescuing the settlers when they were all starving in the harsh winters but with time and commercialism it is now just a family get together where everyone pretends to be humble and grateful but is really just there for the food.

>>17026747
>thanksgiving
>commercial
The fuck? Maybe the day after.

>>17023596
This

>>17026756
Every holiday is commercialized. Or do you think they produce turkeys and decorations free of cost just to make your life better?

>>17026833
are you retarded?

>>17026845
No, you?

>>17026903
Only one of us is spouting retarded shit.

>>17026909
Triggered, go post on twitter about it

>>17026488
The contemporary United States holiday of Thanksgiving is based on a specific feast the English settlers of Plymouth and the Wampanoag Confederacy of Native American tribes held to cement their alliance in 1621 in what is now the State of Massachusetts. Their relationship was a bit rocky as they were mainly doing this out of personal gain, as the Plymouthans were given knowledge of vital agricultural techniques for the area and the Wampanoags received the military might of the settlers with their guns and cannons to help fight the rebelling Narragansett Tribe, but ultimately, two very different groups of people really did come together and had a feast. The head of the Wampanoags, Massasoit, even eventually became personal friends with some of the settlers after they nursed him back to health from an illness. The reason why this event has been well-remembered and is a major part of American lore is probably due to the affinity of the idea that European settlers and Native American tribes could coexist and the Plymouthan's strive for religious freedom. Half of the settlers, and the primary financiers of the voyage, were devout Christians who went against the Church of England and were often punished for their beliefs. The idea of them leaving their home continent behind to be able to practice what they believed resonates with Americans' long-held virtue of religious freedom.
The holiday has been criticized by many leftists in the past few decades due to the war (King Phillip's War) the Wampanoags and the Englishmen had over fifty years later which saw many Wampanoags dying and losing their political power, but the Wampanoags certainly liked the white man's cannons when they were pointed at the Narragansetts.
The idea is to thank God for the blessings he has given us, just as the Plymouthans thanked God for preserving them through the first year of settlement, which had about half of them dying due to the harsh conditions that they were unprepared for.

>>17026955
sounds cringe

>>17026923
Na, "Turkeys ruined thanksgiving" isn't much to be triggered about.

>>17026968
You're seething

>>17026955
What a gay post

>>17023098
I want them to take turns shitting in my mouth

my usual plans got fucked so we're getting a thanksgiving dinner thing from cracker barrel. I know its not amazing or whatever but it works. make sure to order in advance

>>17027886
I got mine from there last year. Was actually pretty good ngl.

>>17023098
Imagine the thanksgiving braps from the girl on the left, mmmm

I will be alone for TG this year as well. I considered getting some single serve traditional TG food, but I realized the shelves will be empty of it the day before. So I think I'll just get a burger.

>>17023098
Who is that member mutilatior on the west?

>>17025779
I know firsthand this is false

>>17023098
you could cook or order a regular meal like you do on regular nights alone.

do you normally have a holiday fest with your family every other day of the yeaR?

>>17023587
it is an implicit understanding of the ten commandments specifically "honor thy father and mother" which allows these chads to move through the world unaffected by the fangs of cashiers

>>17028169
No, but it just feels right to eat something different, and I like to use holidays as an excuse to pig out.

>>17023191
>Its perfectly respectable to go to a bar alone, especially if you want to get laid.
how do you strike up conversations with women? most every bar i have been to has been groups of people who only talk to each other and lonely incel drunks.

i remember before i turned 21, i thought every bar was gonna be like a big house party where everyone mingles and gets sloshed. I also remember we would pool our money together to buy a 12 or 18 pack and then i find out bars are charging 3:50+tip for a budwieser, omg

>>17023568
>I hate cashiers so much. It's one of the first jobs that should be replaced by robots.
You do know that it has been, right?

>>17025004
Meat and booze can be expensive. This is the food and cooking board, after all.

>>17025424
Fucking classic image there, Anon, older than the internet. Very nice.

What's the point of posting porn?

>>17028169
no but the government said i have to eat turkey on this specific day so i have to do it

>>17026747
>>17026833
Did the natives really help out the Brits? I hadn't heard that before, I assumed that the thanks were directed at God. I also didn't realise you guys put up decorations, what kind?

>>17028203
>posting women at all is porn

just do what Japs do for christmas and order KFC

>>17028418
Women are porn. They shouldn't be allowed in public. Simple as.

>>17025779
I`m a bad drunk, get immune to pain and just walk off places. Also I can`t get a boner at all when even tipsy.

>>17023098
I wish I was alone… :(

>>17028418
It's titillating, gets the juices going. If you're the type of dude who can see that and not even twitch, you're a man who can keep his base urges under control. Unfortunately there's too many adult males who get a raging hard on and can't resist a fap to it. Some dudes even use fox news female anchors to jerk it, come on.

>>17025507
Agreed. Sportspuck consumers however are quite based.

>>17028271
>what kind?
The Indian diaspora in my city uses this expression to ask "How are you?"
Where the heck are you from?

>>17030026
>Some dudes even use fox news female anchors to jerk it, come on.
I've been jerking it to local newscasters since the bra section of a sears roebuck catalog was still a thing. You sure you have testosterone?

>>17030021
The only thing worse than being alone is wishing you were.
My sympathy, Anon.

>>17026267
Yeah go ahead and wallow in your own self pity, you sad fuck. That's why you won't ever escape it. Fucking bucketcrab cunt.

>>17028186
"hi, my name is anon, can I buy you [and your friends] a round?"
if yes: "bartender, their next round is on me" -> "what's your name?" -> compliment on something they chose (clothing, hair style, etc. -- NOT something they were born with, and not some pickup line or reference to their beauty) -> "so what do you do around here?" (alternately: "do you go to school here?") -> discuss aspects of what she says like major, career, hobbies -> take it from there
if no: "alright, well if you change your mind just let me know! I'm sitting over there" and then leave them alone and try someone else once they're gone

>>17023587
>I'm cripplingly self-conscious about minor interactions with strangers
>this is because I'm better than you

ok lol

>>17023098
>rice and beans
>lentils and flatbread
>PB sandwiches
>potatoes
>milk
>eggs
>canned tomatoes
>frozen discount veggies
>organ meat

>>17031412
What?

>>17031877
Cribpole hauers
Fleshy Mcnak
Cinnamon dughole
FlashurKjjiper, Boston style

>>17023165
Fuck yeah dude it's awesome. A few years back I went to the pub alone on Christmas Eve, had a fuckin banging dinner, egg nog and rums, pints, watched sports, shot the shit with the waitress all night and she took me home. Got my dick sucked at midnight on Christmas while she wore a Santa hat.

>>17031237
>bartender, their next round is on me
no one says this shit in real life KEK

>>17031237
>"alright, well if you change your mind just let me know! I'm sitting over there"
Wow this doesn't sound desperate at all.
Reminds me of when I got to watch some guy try and hit on chicks on the bus until he ended up awkwardly asking them if he was bothering them.

MUH MUH GOOBERMENT SAID MUH MUH MUH GOOBER

>>17031237
LMAO don't forget to tip your fedora to them

>>17025758
A United Methodist by me is doing a free takeout one this year. I'm pumped because those ladies know how to cook and get the best pies from some local business.