/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>16972708
Had a seizure in my kitchen and cracked the back of my skull on tile. Luckily my roommate at the time was an EMT or I would have been fooked

>>16972708
Not quite in the kitchen but one time I accidentally a child crossing the street

One time I made a grilled cheese but it didn’t cook all the way through so I got made fun of for it. I guess you could say it was my pride that was injured

Tripped on myself while turning to grab ingredients for a fry. Feet didn't leave the ground, but I managed to turn my left foot just right so that I locked the other leg up. Since I was holding my wok's handle before I could responded, it took the force of the trip, and I to spilled ~500F peanut oil in such a way that it cleanly went down my left hand and upper arm. Immediately ran it under water, but the damage was already done. It took at least a month for the blistering to make its course.
It was a series of unsafe practices piled on top of another waiting for something to happen.

>>16972708
I got a boo boo on my fingie

>>16972708
Fuck u, what's yours, why are u asking questions w/o answers you hypocrite scumbag.

>>16972708
I cut my hand when I was trying to open a avocado

>>16972780
I really hope you also make this kind of posts in threads that clearly have no intention of talking about cooking or food.

>>16972782
Aren't you special.

>>16972788
So what are you saying? That I should make posts that make no sense, idiot posts that appear to be dodgy and want information from people?
What are you a total moron?

>>16972708
was making homemade potato chips using a mandoline slicer and sliced half my fingerprint off.

>>16972788
So you're a moron but don't know it?
That's the total moron, enjoy it you stupid sack of shit.

>>16972708
I murdered a couple lobsters by chopping them in half.

>>16972789
Whoever managed that was pretty special if there isn't a whole collage of similar avacado stabbings anons have on hand.

Touching the broiler coils with the back of my hand when i was pulling something out. Took over a year for the scar to heal.

>>16972800
Was the robsters name Larry?

>>16972708
Gratered a chunk of flesh down to knuckle.
2nd degree burn on elbow from theater popcorn maker.
Only cut myself once I can remember and I was 6, which is amusing as I cut myself daily doing sheet metal.

I fumbled a pairing knife and managed to put a huge gash in my thigh. No I don't know how I managed it either.

>>16972813
dood! Learn some shit to get a better job.

>>16972818
Very easily could have killed your self if you knocked your femoral artery. It’s one reason to be really careful swinging axes while chopping wood

Beer bottle with a pull open bottle cap. The metal slashed my finger I had to get stitches.

>>16972823

>>16972828
Which was funny it was my middle finger, so they bandaged it and said I should hold it up for some time after.

>>16972806
Larry and gary. They were lovers, which is specifically why I chose the two.

I nailed my toe once on my bed, that shit hurt like a son of a bitch, just the thought of it hurts.

Nailing your toe on a bedpost, bad times!

>>16972708
>hs
>family went out
>gf comes to my place
>watching movie
>horny
>she goes to the kitchen and starts cooking pancakes
>start groping her
>take her massive tits out
>instantly came

>>16972788
How do you hurt yourself in the kitchen while not cooking food?

>>16972708

Just gave myself a good burn on my hand pulling a chicken out the oven cause my gf bought shitty oven mitts, but it's far from the worst

I've had some pretty gnarly slices and chopped off chunks of fingers, and the usual culprit is a bread knife for some reason.

I've got some belly scars from drunkenly frying shit and dropping things in the wrong way and it splashed toward me.

It's not really cooking related but I was doing some plumbing work for a friend in their kitchen and the shitty old copper water line sheared off while I was tightening it and my hand slipped into the jagged exposed end of the pipe. Have a huge scar running down my thumb and wrist from that one.

>>16972891
been there done that complete with a couple scars, fuck those bitches they don't deserve our skill

>>16972708
early on in being a line cook i left the line and came back and there was a giant ass gash in my index finger, felt nothing and remember nothing about it happening. put on a finger condom and bandaid and went back to work lmao

I made potato salad a few years ago, and used probably 7 or 8 whole potatoes - skin on - in the dish. I scrubbed them in cold water with one of those green kitchen scrubbers, because the dirt was on the skin on some places. While i was cutting them up, I put on a huge pot of water to boil, and was standing right next to it, my elbow basically almost touching it. The salad was going to include chopped green onion and eggs, so I got those out of the fridge, too. Anyway, I must not have seen the puddle of water on the floor, because I stepped right in it and my sock got wet. I made the potato salad and put 1/2 the amount of dry mustard in it, because it was all we had. When my dad tried some of the potato salad, he said it tasted a little bland, and that hurt me to this day.

>>16972891
I have a friend from costa rica and she got me a bottle of pic related. How do you use it?

>>16973013
Bro

>>16972708
I'd post a picture, but this is a worksafe board.

blasted a knife through my thumb-nail all the way down to the bone while deboning chicken

>>16973028

Put it on whatever the fuck you want lol. Did you try it?

It's on every table of every restaurant in CR

You can literally just dump it on plain rice and it makes it great.

I used it on eggs and beans and rice for breakfast, and with pretty much any meat they would serve for lunch and dinner.

>>16973013
RIP

>>16972760
Drug or epileptic?

>>16973114
Yeah I put it on beans. I’ll do rice egg and beans next.

>>16973130

Yeah rice and beans comes with pretty much every meal there. They have a special style called gallo pinto, check it out.

The sauce is great with anything though. It's probably my favorite condiment.

>the instant mashed potatoes need slightly more water so i come back to the coffee maker for a second time to get more hot water
>for some reason put my hand up to it like it's a faucet without thinking
>pour scalding water all over my fingers and drop the empty cup dramatically
>later, putting that hand into the warm dishpit water fucking hurts
>prepare small bowl full of ice water in a corner of the sink to stick my hand in for relief
>awkwardly mention to person in kitchen closing staff that this has happened and i would prefer to have priority for tasls that involve putting my hands in cold things
>tell manager, manager freaks out and scrambles to find a solution but essentially tells me to do what i had already been doing to treat it
>apply aloe vera lotion when i get home and it's fine after a day or two
>internally regret mentioning it at all

Cut my fingertip off when slicing a watermelon in the dark. Apartment complex didn't allow us to fix our own shit, and they spent months ignoring requests to fix the kitchen lights.

Day after this happened I called again and told them, they fixed it that day. Pieces of shit.

>>16973183
You should have milked that shit and sued them for 26,000 dollars.

>>16973144
Cheers. Your women are hot af, and the sauce is delicious.

>>16972788
I just like fucking with people that ask shit like they're some dog with a bone, why ask a question if you're not capable of answering it yourself?
Don't be stupid faggot.

for some reason I decided to pull a bread pan out of the oven without mits and I burned both of my palms. kind of messed up my love life for a while as well you can imagine

>>16972823
So should I wear chainmail pants or what

>>16973183
I don't know what to say to that one except that you're a dumb fucking nigger.

>>16973224
oh yeah, to protect your valuable privates.

>>16973227
I had little under the cupboard stick on lights, I'd been using them for the couple months, just wasn't enough light for a watermelon.

>>16972708

wearing a chef coat that was too big while drunk as fuck i caught my sleeve on a burner and spilled boiling water all over my arm. caught a second degree burn but still came back and rocked service. really embarrassing

>>16973211
>why ask a question if you're not capable of answering it yourself
Because they want to hear other people's experiences, and either don't have a notable injury in the kitchen or otherwise don't feel obligated to provide one. Calling them out on that is just dandy.
My point really being that when an OP is intentionally fucking around instead of just being uninteresting, it seems like the predictable vitriolic responses either don't show up or are much more indirect. Like calling out someone who is intentionally being an idiot is so much more pointless than calling out someone who is unintentionally being so.

>>16973013
bland potato salad, bland story

>>16972708
I ran shitty kitchens for ~20 years. Ho-lee-fuck, have I seen some knife injuries. You'd be surprised at the number of cooks that try to catch dropped knives. That's some messy shit.

>>16972708
Maybe burned myself on the oven.
Also sliced my finger on a pull top and needed a bandage. Some of those lids and container can be sharp, I sliced up a spatula/scraper trying to get what was at the bottom of the can.

>use my kitchen knife almost every day
>never had a bad cut aside from a tiny nick
Are you guys just dumb

Not even my worst but one time I purposely put the tip of my penis on the edge of a frying pan while making scrambled eggs

Watched my friend slice his hand open while trying to open a can of chickpeas with a knife. He proceeded to stitch it himself with some thread and a dull seeing needle. He did the same thing a few months later, but my gf is a nurse and got him got him a proper suture kit after the first incident.

>>16972802
Used to work fridays at the ER.
Plenty of idiots out there who enjoy avocado, I can assure you.

>>16973190
Oddly specific.
Autist?

>>16972708
I drooped the knief and into stabby my footsie :c

>>16972708
>working in greasy pizza place
>doing prep first thing
>one guy is slicing potatoes on a mandolin for the loaded baked potato pizza
>slices a bit of his thumb off
>bleeds everywhere goes to hospital
>now it’s just me
>think “what an idiot, let me handle this”
>slice a chink of my thumb off immediately
>wrap it up in paper towel and tape and keep going
>keep it on during deliveries
>people ask what happened and give me nice big tips

Sliced off half my nail while chopping parsley, exposed the skin but it didn't bleed long. it all grew back in a few weeks

>>16972708
Was julienne'ing some spring onion whites for garnish and some tosspot pushed past me.
Basically sliced through my middle finger nail, had a perfect circle slice for ages.

The weirdest thing about the injury was the lack of pressure you expect on your nails at all times.
Everything felt weird to touch

>>16972708
cut my finger on a tin can as i was pushing it deeper in the rubbish bin
bled for a while

>>16972708
> be me, collegefag.
> cooking thai red curry with dried birdseye chilli for me and my then gf
> chop those spicey fuckers up real good.
> handle chillis with bare hands. dont wash hands after cooking because i aint no pussy.
> eat curry, wow those fuckers are mean. Dish too spicy for gf. she barely managed to eat more than two spoonful.
> after dinner get comfy on couch.
> feel bad for gf still being hungry,start fumbling her ladyparts to get her off and maybe have nice sexytime.
>after a few moments she screams in pain and runs to the bathroom. jumps in the shower and rinses her pussy.
> inbetween her cries and sobbing she curses me and asks what did i do to her. Takes her over an hour to get to a manageable pain treshold.
> mfw my fingers were full of thai chilli and i burned her vag off.
> she punishes me with no sex for one month.

worth it tho, she was the worst thing ever happened to me and thinking of this story always makes me smile

Poured burned butter down the drain and it exploded back up burning my face, arm, and back

>>16975115
Could say you got a butter face
HEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH

>>16975115
>t.not my problem

Surprised no one mentioned this kind of common fuck up. Made salsa with lots of habanero peppers. Took a piss and got the pepper oils all up in my foreskin.

>>16972708
A broken heart and a denial of sexy time.

nearly chopped my finger tip off several times. Never bothered going to the hospital, always just disinfected it and secured it in place and it always healed just fine. Also some serious burn marks all over my arms

>>16973619
That's 100% bullshit. Hypocrite assholes that ask questions like that should be hanged from a noose. They should be able to answer their own questions the stupid scumbuckets.

??>>16973619
Whar ARE u some e kind of of sleepity biden'kamela supportor?
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