/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>16933916
Chili

>>16933916
30 cans of beenie weenies

>>16933916
Cyanide.

>>16933916
>Bonus points for stuff I can cook/prepare whilst drunk

Wolf brand canned chili topped with cheese and sour cream
Hot dogs obviously
Shish kebabs

>>16933916
BBQ chicken quarters
ham/turkey/salami/whatever sandwiches
brauts n buns
>>16933918
>>16933928
chili is also good

Plan ahead so you don’t burn yourself. Assuming you are cooking over an open fire

>>16933916
Freeze dried mountain house meals. Just add hot water. Broth, coffee, tea. Salami cheese and bread. Potato chips. Instant grits and oatmeal. At a long term camp you would want to cook for real. Drunk innawoods for a few, no way.

>>16933918
man i couldn't go out camping if it meant my life.

I would be shitting up a storm in the forest and everyone 100 miles away would be able to hear my wet farts. how the fuck do you even wipe and clean yourself without a bidet?

Go in a river? that will probably get you parasites.

>>16933916
you could premake breakfast burritos, wrap them in tinfoil, and then heat them in the fire when you want them.

they elected to make you their caterer?
wow this is very based for you

>>16933916
Potatoes. Super easy to cook. Just wrap in foil and leave them on some coals for a little bit. Don't leave them on active flames though

Get some decent sausages or brats or whatever. Sometimes I'll use the precooked beef brats. Before the trip, get the toppings together like maybe mustard and sour kraut, veggies or whatever. Then just have everyone roast their own shit over the fire and assemble with the pre-prepared rolls and toppings. Simple as.

>>16933966
Have you tried not being a pussy?

>>16933916
>Go to taco bell
>Order 30 chaloopas
>Wrap them in tinfoil and pretend you made them
Easy as.

>>16933916
Real camping or putting up a tent right next to the car?
It matters because of the weight you'll be hauling.

>>16933966
They make travel bidets that just fit on the top of a water bottle. Or bring wet wipes. Humans literally lived outside for thousands of years, I think you could handle one day fuck

>>16933966
>how the fuck do you even wipe
It’s better than actual toilet paper

>>16933918
>>16933928
>>16933933
>Chili
>Frankfurters
>BBQ chicken
Clear winners so far, got me some ideas thanks to you fellers
>>16933954
I'm hauling my weber kettle just in case but I'll have to set up an open fire nonetheless
>>16933970
I like you already bro
>>16933975
Sounds like food I would just forget about while releasing my inner ape
>>16933984
Based chalooper
>>16933985
I'm not going to bullshit you. We're going deep innawoods but setting up camp next to the car.

>>16934048
>releasing my inner ape
Is this code for "gay sex with men”?

>>16934065
Kek no, it's code for I rarely get this fucking intoxicated

>>16934082
Sure, buddy. Obvious plausible deniability setup.

>>16933916
Pasta

>>16934048
>Sounds like food I would just forget about while releasing my inner ape
Phone timer? I suppose you could make em fancy. Cut em in half, butter in the middle, some ham and cheese.

>>16934042
Mullein is awesome. Comfy ass wiper plus it has anti-inflammatory properties. Soothe the rectum, soothe the soul.
Going to try growing some in my garden soon.

>>16934109
How the fuck am I supposed to cook pasta out in the open?
>>16934113
Sounds like yoo much work anon, hot dog anon might be into something though

>>16933916
you didnt give any fucking info
>no idea how many people
>no idea how many nights
>no idea on the camping situation ie: whether you're hiking in 30miles only carrying what you have, or if your vehicles will be parked RIGHT there.
>no idea on what your friends like to eat
>no idea if one of them is some limpwristed faggot vegan or not
>no idea if it's just a lads drinking weekend away or if it's a serious hiking/hunting/fishing trip aka: getting up at 5am.
1800-comethefuckonnow
You cunts do this in /out/ too.

Give us some fucking information to work with.

>>16933916
if you're just cooking with the fire bring some heavy duty aluminum foil and just wrap stuff up and put it on embers till you're confident it's cooked.

- potatoes - can be squeezed to see if they're done - soft means done
- corn - keep in the husk and put around the border. ~30 min should be fine
- hobo dinner - cut up some onion, peppers, maybe some herbs, put them in a pile in the center of a sheet of foil. season some chicken thigh, put it on top of the pile. wrap it all up tightly and put on embers. ~30 min should be fine.

If you have a portable stove, make anything.

Otherwise, sandwiches and chips.

>>16934189
Makeshift shish kebabs are really easy. Just put chunks of beef and pieces of vegetables on a sharp stick and roast until you drunkenly think they're done. Eat it right off the stick. Salt is optional if that's too much work.

>>16934199
btw you don't want any of this to be touching actual flame. The ideal is to bury it in embers, but that requires a ton of embers, so placing the bundles on top and flipping them is probably the way to go. Bring long tongs for this if you can, otherwise find some good stick tools.

>>16934197
Lol you're right,let me share with you the plans
>>no idea how many people
It's 5-6 of us
>>no idea how many nights
Let's say 2 nights tops
>>no idea on the camping situation ie: whether you're hiking in 30miles only carrying what you have, or if your vehicles will be parked RIGHT there.
Vehicles parked and right next to wherever we're going to
>>no idea on what your friends like to eat
2 of them are dumb vegetarians
>>no idea if one of them is some limpwristed faggot vegan or not
Sadly .. though the rest of us are straight up soldiers and we eat anything that moves
>>no idea if it's just a lads drinking weekend away or if it's a serious hiking/hunting/fishing trip aka: getting up at 5am.
Lads heavily drinking

>>16934189
Do you eat vegetables? Ever?

>>16934189
>How the fuck am I supposed to cook pasta out in the open?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjpnWhy0Z4o

>>16934254
You aren't camping you're glamping. Why not rent a hotel room with your fag friends and get the circle jerk over with? Maybe play a couple rounds of soggy biscuit if everyone is hungry.

>>16934254
lunch first day:
do pic related. vegetarians can just not have the chicken.

dinner first day:
bbq fry up.
throw sausages, onion, peppers etc on a grill.
vegetarians can bring their own vegan sausages or whatever.

breakfast 2nd day:
typical fry up breakfast
vegetarians can eat oats or grass, fuck them
make it a solid breakfast mid-morning so then you can skip lunch and just drink beer until sundown.

dinner 2nd day:
make chilli or a curry or something
if you want to be nice to the vegetarians, just dont add meat, or have meat seperate on the side.

breakfast last day:
oats, fruit and gatorade. your livers will probably be hurting by now.

snacks:
make snacks BYO. otherwise if you buy a big pile of snacks together that one fat guy or the one skinny stoner will eat literally 90% of it.
thanks for being understanding anon.
we get posts like this on /out/ all the fucking time now, like
"hey im going camping just liek, tell me everything i dont wanna use google lmao"
and
"i'm running away from society waaaah fuck taxes and blacks how do I live forever in the woods? tell me everything i'm not using google"
and neither give you any sort of background information to work with.

>>16934318
>Unironically fucking based
I'm taking note right now anon, I fuck with your meals agenda fr fr

>>16934352
thanks
its all mostly easy food to prepare after youve had some beers.
the chicken/colesaw/bread/mayo trick is something i've done for years on fishing trips.
so fucking easy and lazy to prepare, great meal for just after you've gotten to the location and set up camp.
ie: you've JUST got there and you dont want to fuck around for an hour cooking something.

>>16933916
kielbasa for late night snack

>>16933916
Depends on how long you're gonna be there and if it's bear country or not. but casual beach camping with friends, I'll usually bring chicken or steak and my campfire grill, and cook some meat over an open fire for everyone. Fuck I love campfire steaks.

But other good stuff to bring, Hotdogs, Burgers, Kebabs, Potatoes with tinfoil, corn, carrots, other good roasting veggies,

>>16934297
I think the proprietors might be touchy about building a fire in the room

>>16933916
>hot dogs
>buns
>hamburgers
>buns
>lunchmeat
>cheese
>bread
>coffee
>marshmallows
this is all you need for food stuffs.
>foil
>spatula
>grill surface
>sauce pan
>toilet tissue
this is all you need for prep and evacuation.
>water for cooking
>water for drinking
>water for washing
>dish soap
this is all you need for sanitation and hydration.

you cook the hot dogs and marshmallows on sticks.
the burgers need the grill surface.
the coffee is for the morning.
the lunchmeat is for sandwiches at lunchtime.

>>16933916
can of yoders bacon and some mre depot eggs
corned beef hash
mountain house biscuits and gravy pouches

>>16933981
>>16934002
you fucks have not seen or heard my shits. They will literally shock you. Like you would say that I'm dying or to get it checked out by a doctor. 1 day or a few days sure provided I have water, but dude it ain't gonna be pretty if I have no water.

>>16934042
It might be better but it's not guaranteed to find it, plus I will need a lot of it cause I get real messy. Like I will need water unless I want to be wiping for 30 minutes+

>>16933916
Politely but firmly reject the camping idea. It's among the most unfun activities you can do. Even soulless data entry wageslave jobs are more interesting than fucking camping.

>>16935022
but they might see a sasquatch

>>16935022
>Politely but firmly reject the camping idea. It's among the most unfun activities you can do. Even soulless data entry wageslave jobs are more interesting than fucking camping.
No its not man.

What if I sleep in the same tent as my crush and we manage to cuddle in the outdoors at night and kiss. Then we can walk together early in the morning and explore nature together.

>>16935060
>Then we can walk together early in the morning and explore nature together
well actually I usually do my morning poop then so probably after an hour or so of that.