/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>16877573
Boiled chicken
Boiled vegetables
People who can't oliie w/ tech decks

I was trying to find a recipe for spinach ravioli once and the first ingredient was "frozen spinach ravioli"
what the fuck

>Recipe is 90% the author's faggy life story
>the other 10% is disgusting sugary dollar store slop you feed to prisoners

>>16877573
>look up recipe
>3/4 tablespoon / half a pint / 3/8 of a cup / one full queen's pussy / inches

>>16877629
cups are gay. baking is an exact science and theyre using a VOLUME measurement. a cup is still a cup no matter how hard i stuff it but it aint the same amount is it?
i DO have a standard american cup and it makes perfect sense if ur using it for liquids or, hell, even stuff like flour or sugar
but mfuckers use it for shit like SOLID BUTTER??

>>16877655
Our butter comes in sticks of universal size. Every stick of butter is 1/2 cup and the lines and guidelines make it so you can split it to anything. It makes sense they have 8 lines and 3 smaller lines inbetween and each line is a tablespoon. 5 1/3 of a line would be 1/3 of a cup for example.

>>16877582
>People who can't oliie w/ tech decks

>>16877573
>>16877622
>>16877626
>>16877629
>Recipe

>>16877669
so what ur telling me is americas entire culture is some kinda self sustained ecosystem?

>>16877685
Yeah basically. I understand foreign confusion

>>16877573
People that don't understand the ending of evangelion.

Boiled meats

Square cut pizza

any kind of vague language
tell me exactly what to fucking do in your goddamned instructional recipe

Look at recipe
>its in American

>store sells bags of produce, almost no bulk/loose
>20% of what’s in bag is damaged/rotten

>>16877573
>pinch of salt

>medium sized banana/onion/etc

>x amount of garlic cloves

none of this pisses me off, but they should be a bit more specific.

>>16877700
neon genesis is a garbage show and none of it reflects accurately in regards at what it attempted to depict.

>>16877700
>Square cut pizza
i dont get why this triggers people so much

i WILL give you this tho- most square pizza just doesnt taste as good. idk why, maybe because its made in a dish in a regular convection oven and not a stone one? actualy, that might be it
but the cutting of it? who cares

its also annoying when people put on a whole show abt things like pineapple on pizza, coca cola vs pisspiss and whether you pour in milk or cereal first
i mean i get having a preference, but people LOSE THEIR SHIT, i suspect its some kinda npc programming that tells em to get overly passionate about something mundane to seem more human

>>16877772
its intentional because fuck you

>>16877772
i just open up like 4 or 5 bags, remove the bad ones and replace with good ones.

>>16877792
The problem isn't square cut square pizza, it's square cut round pizza.

people who won't eat anything below 95% lean ground beef
people who think hydrogenated soybean oil is healthier than butter

>>16877791
Filtered this hard by a childrens show.

>>16877573
>so ask your butcher to--
No. Fuck you. Fuck you straight to hell. I am buying my meat from the supermarket and you can tongue my anus.

>pie recipe
>They list an entire crust recipe when i already know how to make it

>recipe says it serves 3-4
>author is an 80 lb. woman

>>16878029
>people who think hydrogenated soybean oil is healthier than butter
this annoys me because they make it MY problem
idc what you eat but fuck off making it commonplace in like every food ever, you only think that because you passed 4th grade science class where they taught you "plants = good" and know nothing else

>>16878102
huh? what does THAT mean?

>tfw people unironically prefer ranch to bleu cheese

>>16878130
BLUE CHEESE HAS MOLD IN IT

>>16878144
THAT MAKES IT GOOD

>>16877573
98% of people making pies buy premade pie crust you fucking elitist, kys

>>16878205
That can’t be true

>>16878205
theres nothing wrong with premade, but if im looking for the recipe, i want the whole damn thing
esp since the crust is the hardest part! i mean what else is there?

>>16878221
An online recipe should link to a separate pie crust recipe, just like a cook book pie recipe would refer to an earlier page for the crust recipe.
But at some point you have to stop. You don't need to give directions for raising pigs for slaughtering for rendering the lard for the pie crust.

Chile powder. Grinds my fucking gears.

>look up recipe
>cups

>>16878269
no homo, its not the same. making the crust IS part of making a pie, just like making the dough is part of cooking a pizza

speaking of which, the worse recieps are the ones that go
>premade pizza crust
>premade pizza sauce
>cheese
>just smash em together asshole

at that point its not a recipe, its a fucking sped instructional booklet

>>16878313
Makes you wonder why they even bother with the effort of creating the """recipie""" at all.

>>16878144
Pussy

>>16877780
>Medium size
They're just saying don't use a tiny one
>Pinch of salt
Literally pinch your salt and use what gets picked up between your finger and thumb
>x amount of garlic cloves
It's just a guideline, most of the time you should double the amount stated

>>16878343
>pinch of salt
What kind of salt? I've got 15 different types.

>>16878352
>I've got 15 different types.
what's wrong with you

>>16878120
That means the serving sizes are for aneurexic African kids and not for true redblooded American citizens

>>16878352
shut the fuck up. If you're such a salt coneusseur you should know how to use it

>>16877622
this with tomato sauce
i wanted to replicate der fuhrer's pathetic last meal

>>16878387
>know how to use it
I do. By weight.

>>16878390
>Measuring salt by weight
You're a cunt, mate.

>>16878390
>Adds .00075 grams of salt.
If you're this autistic about salt, why do you even bother with anyone else's recipes?

>>16878387
>coneusseur
*connoisseur
Retard.

>go to store
>all the tomatoes suck
this is what i get for not growing 'matoes this year

>>16878422
>Retard
Retired*

>>16877573
>you need these widely available ingredients.. oh and one unicorn horn.

Why to high tier chefs and some cooking tubers do this?

>>16878420
I usually read 5-10 different recipes and then produce my own version of the dish. Precise measurements help me calculate ratios and interactions between ingredients. GIGO.

>>16878434
It's probably a good ingredient, and they have no problem accessing it, so why not.

>>16877582
I'm feeling personally attacked

Do you guys actually measure the salt? I just go for it

>>16878452
What if making chicken sausage? You gonna go through all that work and just go for it knowing you can't taste until it's cooked?

>>16878452
The only time I ever measure salt is when baking, and I rarely bake anymore.

>>16878459
>Chicken sausage
What kind of queer makes chicken sausages? If I'm making sausages they're going to be pork, sage and apple, with some chopped walnuts inside. You don't need to measure it either, just put some in.

>>16878441
Then produce your own level of salt. Start small and add until it tastes right to you.

>>16877573
crust
flour
lard
salt
vodka
sheet
cube
sugar
sheet
cube
sheet
cut
fill
bake

>>16878459
Why not fry up some of the sausage mix and taste it before stuffing the sausages?

>>16878029
this is really just the "fat makes you fat" mentality

>recipe calls for pretentiously gimmicky ingredients
>offers ordinary equivalents 'for those who can't afford the said ingredients'

>>16877582
boiled chicken is pretty patrician though

>>16877573
Fast food in general. It's almost always lukewarm, made in dirty conditions, and very expensive for what it is

>>16877685
Nothing any other country has ever done or accomplished is relevant to the lives of Americans.

>>16878364
I have around that many kinds as well, but I know what a fucking pinch is.

>add a cup of red or white wine
>immediately stops cooking cause I don't buy wine

>ingredients include cooked food

>>16878327
To make ad space

>>16878352
Then you should already know the difference between table salt, cooking(kosher) salt, crystal salt and whatever the fuck else

>>16881127
I do, of coarse. But how about a recipe that calls for two tablespoons of kosher salt? Morton, Diamond, etc. There are dozens of brands. I know Morton is very different from Diamond.

>look up possible uses for an ingredient I never worked with before
>get an essay and an autobiography

>>16877573
>Yield: 20 brownies
>Picture clearly shows it cut into 12 pieces

I hate how recipe sites fudge the nutritional info by using unreasonably small portion sizes. Why even bother posting nutritional information if you're not going to be honest about it? It's not like anyone's forcing you to do it.

>>16881146
Use the one you like more? Jesus fuck you better be trolling

>>16877679
look at that disgusting greasy hair

>>16881379
To be fair, different brands of salt have different densities. Morton is denser than Diamond Crystal so two tablespoons of Morton salt is literally more salt than two tablespoons of Diamond Crystal.

>>16877573
>watch great homemade hoagie instruction video
>"oh this channel is fantastic, sure I'll watch the recommended video, I can always learn something about scrambled eggs I guess"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VDsmoj7j2o
>watch as retard scoops post-modernist post-irony mostly-raw slop onto various bread and plates over and over for over a minute while babbling on about the "curd size" pointlessly and repetitively
Fucking chefitis is a curse. I actually want to slap this stupid bitch for being this retarded. Even the vast majority of Hicksville, USA which popularized this abomination hates it. Don't even upload this gore unless you're going to region lock it to somewhere masochistic like France.
>uh but anon if the eggs aren't moist how will the flavor be carried to your tongue hurr
Yeah all eggs are moist unless you burn them outright, and no one in their right mind wants the flavor of raw fucking eggs carried to their tongue.
Go rant about your Precious you fucking Smeagol of a man.
Absolutely disgusting.
Fucking unreal.
Never assume a cooking channel will be good based on one good video.
This deserves the death penalty.
Unfuckingbelievable.

>>16877685
As well as the last remaining bastion of the true modern enlightenment era of European culture, yes.
Not the coasts, though. Never the coasts. And I mean any state at all with coast.

>>16878352
Elemental sodium chloride

>>16877700
Everyone understands it, it's mopey schlock from a guy with an Oedipus complex and oral fixation who openly admitted all that stuff with Adam and Eve and gods and angels he just threw in because it seemed cool, no actual meaning, and BTFO theoryfags forever. That was the only based thing he ever did besides the actual robot animation sequences in the original series. Shinji is the personification of his schizophrenia and Rei is the personification of his autism and Asuka is the personification of his doomed Love Quest for a Boyfriend-Free Girl.
>>16877724
I told you to add a few pinches of your choice of oil, season to taste, and bake until the crust is a golden brown and the inside of the dish is firm and thoroughly heated, you cretin.
Did you even prepare the instruments??

>>16878343
>double the amount stated
garlicfags are the same as scovillefags and saltfags
no actual ability to taste so overwhelm all the nice flavors with one big dick crude one

>>16878029
>hydrogenated soybean oil
what fucks me up the most about this is that vegetable oils are in fucking EVERYTHING now because it's cheaper. I do not want to fill my body with your shitty machined plant product every time I try to go to a fuckin restaurant - even nicer ones. And on top of all this, people have convinced themselves for decades that vegetable oils are somehow better than animal fats despite humans never eating vegetable oils before the 20th century.

Fry with ghee, beef tallow, lard, butter, ANYTHING other than a tablespoon of oil that had to be literally crushed out of thousands of ears of corn.

>>16881449
and god they taste like rancid shit because they make it out of the foulest oldest fucking garbage they could sweep off the floor

>>16877582
nigga fuck u

>>16877573
Pie crust is simple shit. Making your own is just a waste of time.

>>16878221
UGH.
I just made my first pie yesterday, and made the crust perfect according to my mom, but fucked up the filling terribly, and accidentally forgot to lower the temperature.
Now I hear the crust is the hard part? FUCK.

>>16881016
You can use red or white wine vinegar diluted with water as a replacement for wine. I think it's a 4:1 water to vinegar ratio, not too sure.

>>16881146
If you're using a recipe that calls for 2 tablespoons of salt, I think the brand is the least of your worries. I thought you measured salt by weight, why are you talking in spoons?

Finner

>>16881407
Says the cooklet who needs recipe's.

>>16881966
>Pie crust is simple shit
>Making your own is a waste of time
So which is it you pretentious fag?

>>16881391
>mostly-raw slop
if you dont like scrambled eggs why are you watching a video about them. you said you were willing to learn something about them and then immediately reject everything you hear?

>>16882066
>Actually reading all that shit

>>16882067
i got the jist pretty quick, wasnt exactly nuanced

>>16882073
Did you consult a thesaurus chest before making that post with all your big words there, college dick.

>>16877700
>Square cut pizza
Go to Rome and eat pizza there

>>16877573
>look up recipe
>it's either just a list of ingridients without instructions or a fucking 10-page essay about the cultural significance of the dish and its relation to the writer's life
JUST LIST THE INGRIDIENTS AND WHAT TO DO WITH THEM
HOW HARD CAN IT BE

>>16877573
Cooked full chicken is cheaper than fresh or frozen.

>>16882193
w-what big words?

>>16882193
>jist
*gist
Clearly not.

recipes that call for a can of soup, i have nothing against canned foods but i dont keep it on hand
same for spice blends, 1T of 'cajun spice' or 'italian seasoning' tells me nothing, especially when every brand has a different recipe

>>16882376
Do you say jif too?

>>16878205
different pies benefit from different crusts. i never buy premade

>>16882066
I like SCRAMBLED eggs, not SOUPED eggs.

>>16881406
>BTFO'd theoryfags
>Proceeds to say unfounded theories on what characters represent
Look up Carl Jung, he was an inspiration for the series and even the manga sequels are named "Anima"

You do realize that something that did not have the occult in mind can still accuratly portray themes if it, alot of occultism/philosophy has to do with the ways we act and the extreme lengths people are willing to go and questions about humanity itself.

I believe that when they said their was no real religious meaning, I think they meant that this is not a Christan show, and it's not, it's the story of mankind and his inner struggle. That is why it gets the nickname the gospel of the 21st centery.

The author himself said that "it's a story that loops" and that is occult, my friend.

Also I hate when recipes ask for a specific brand if an ingredient is used when it would literally make no difference.

>>16878473
reddit palate

>constant emphasis and mention of gluten free or vaginatarian versions
>one recipe i found which primarily demands meat was presented as if the vegan version is normal and the meat is the less ideal alternative while click baiting you into thinking its the regular meat version
Good morning i hate women

>>16882808
>Brings up Reddit out of the blue
You'd fit in better if you didn't mention Reddit at all, newfriend.

>>16881391
ragusea hands typed this

>>16883002
you sound pretty reddit maty

>>16878057
You're straight up burning money by not making use of a butcher. They can be a godsend by just asking for untrimmed cuts of meat and then trimming yourself. A PSMO tenderloin costs way less than a trimmed one, but you usually have to ask the butcher to get one.

Also if your supermarket doesn't have a butcher in house, your supermarket is shit.

>>16884383
i dunno where the fuck you live but here meat at a butcher's is always more expensive (because it's better quality, but I don't have that money (i'm a student))

I had a can of pumpkin and thought "damn, I could go for a cake made with this shit" and had to click on like ten different recipes to find one that wasn't "dump pumpkin into boxed cake mix, bake"

>>16884397
america

>>16877669
I thought you guys would have the freedom to buy butter in any size.

>>16881016
go to your local store and fine the cheapest brand of wine you can, usually the shit thats $2-5 a bottle. buy a bottle of red, a bottle of white, and a bottle of sherry. Bam, you now have 3 different bottles of wine to keep around for when you need to cook. White for chicken and vegetabe dishes, red for hearty stuff like beef or gamey fish, and sherry for sweet dishes/braised stuff

>>16881406
>Everyone understands it, it's mopey schlock from a guy with an Oedipus complex and oral fixation who openly admitted all that stuff with Adam and Eve and gods and angels he just threw in because it seemed cool, no actual meaning, and BTFO theoryfags forever. That was the only based thing he ever did besides the actual robot animation sequences in the original series. Shinji is the personification of his schizophrenia and Rei is the personification of his autism and Asuka is the personification of his doomed Love Quest for a Boyfriend-Free Girl.
Congrats. You got everything wrong.
Stick to western cartoons, midwit.

>>16884397
>look up recipe for dinotendies.
>literally heat up the frozen box
>still has 20 page blog about it.
They have a nice peppery flavour that is different than other breading.

>>16881395
Fuck you Florida is based

>>16877573
why are you looking at a recipe for beginners if you can make a pie crust? sounds like you're the fucking retard here mate.

>>16886787
He never said he could make pie crust. He wanted to make a pie from scratch.

>>16884718
You can also buy bigger unmarked bricks of it if you really want to get wild.

>>16877573
Jewish salt

>>16877700
>>16878053
>>16882795
>>16884782
4chan is 18+ only, please take your children's cartoon discussion elsewhere.