/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>16870421
>be me
>107
>every day is painful
>can hardly use a walker anymore
>one day a truck arrives at your house
>they say i've won a truckful of shitty beer
>proceed to unload 500lb of beer into my kitchen
>can't move a single case after they leave because of muscle degeneration
>can't make food anymore due to the massive pile of 30 racks
Thanks guys

>>16870459
So it's assisted suicide but fun

If she only drinks one beer a day, what are they gonna do with the rest of her beer, no way she has that many days left

>>16870421
Her great grandson's frat will appreciate this

>>16870421
beer kills brain cells and causes oral cancer.

>>16870459
Have you considered not being a miserable pessimist?

>>16870500
If you drink a 12 pack every day maybe.

So does intimacy with children.

>>16870504
He thinks acting like that will get him cool kid points on an anonymous imageboard.

>>16870421
>lager

>>16870421
how long can she keep those before the beers go bad. well it's Yuengling so it can't really go worse but I mean shelf life

>>16870839
Not long. But, she will probably start drinking 10 a day now that they're free.

>>16870421
>One Beer
What kind of demented freak likes alcohol enough to drink every day but not enough to ever actually get drunk?

>>16870839
What do you drink?

I think the secret of living long isn’t any magic food or pill but being happy, content, and stress free

>>16870421
The problem is that I drink 12 Yuenglings, not 1.

>>16870459
Dude an 107-year-old could rip your fucking arm off. Pull that up, Jamie.

>>16870421
why is the singular exemplar? the others die or what?

>>16870421
I used to like Yuenglings, but some drunk guy at the bar told me they taste like pennies. That's all I can taste now.

>>16870459
>people legitimately getting mad about this blatant joke post

>>16870421
Literally everybody who's lived over the age of 100 drinks and smokes. And that's for every race and nationality

>>16870856
Maybe she's just tiny

>>16871009
Yes because they started when doctors were still taking bribes to pretend it was fine for kids to smoke.

Beer is the reason we aren't hunter gatherer tribes anymore.

>>16871018
Nicotine is based
https://www.gwern.net/Nicotine
Don't fall for the bullshit

>>16871036
Cool story except that specifically mentions delivery NOT through smoking.

>>16871018
>when doctors were still taking bribes
>were

>>16870421
She looks like a dick

>>16871025
> women are the reason we aren't hunter gatherers anymore
Fix'd

>>16870839
> Yuengling
> bad

Bro you're trippin. Next you'll tell me Natty Light and Busch are god tier.

>>16870870
Also, having good genetics and not being black.

If by some bizarre quirk I make it to my hundreds I'm just going to bullshit everyone. Like tell them I take a tab of acid and a fat line of coke everyday or something

>>16871083
This, you can just make up whatever. My secret to being this old? When I was 19 I drank a gallon of milk a day for 8 months, set me up for the rest of my life.

>>16870459
kek

>>16871070
Corona is the mead of Quetzalcotal and the axtec gods. Mayans mixed Corona with sacrifice blood.

>>16870421
Why are Brits so fond of drinking?

>>16870839
>Yuengling
I love me some good ol' beer but I ain't having none of that chink shit, man. I'd rather quit alcohol all together.

>>16870421
notice how it says *a* lager a day, as in one (1) beer a day. Don't overdo it kids

>>16870459
It's good for you, pops

>>16870459
Yuengling isn't that bad desu
Better then Budweiser at least

>>16870870
More genetics. There's been people who are alcoholics who have lived a long life, where people doing everything healthy die early. Just a matter of luck. But that doesn't mean you should just doing whatever. Part of a healthy life isn't about just hoping to live longer, but also being able to live. When you're under the misery of something like alcohol or another kind of drug, life isn't too great. Even if Jack LaLanne may have still died to pneumonia, well he was also 96, but he was still working out and doing what he enjoyed till that day.

>>16873084
That's about where they say having alcohol can be beneficial to you. I've seen similar "secrets to life" involving alcohol. I think the last one was gin, and I think the person drank one shot a day as well.

>>16873067
thank god there's no one this stupid irl

>>16873786
>I think the person drank one shot a day as well.
It's routine. Human bodies like routine.
Alcohol is beneficial in small quantities because it's a depressive and calms you down.

when you open an ice cold bottle of beer after a hard day of not drinking and every sip just hit the spot right in a way that they send shivers down your body

>>16870421
Based Margaret
>>16870459
Cringe anon, very very sad

>>16873887
>It's routine. Human bodies like routine.
So if I drink about 12-14 standard drinks every other day like clockwork I'm good?

>>16870459
Most people over 100 are as healthy as 70 year olds, there's a point where most people die off but some can continue living for a pretty long time afterwards.

>>16870839
>how long can she keep those before the beers go bad
as long as the beer is not stored somewhere where it gets hot because you cant fit it all in the fridge it will last 2-3 years

>>16870421
>yuengling
they just started distributing in my neck of the woods so I picked up a tallboy to give it a try and it was pretty mediocre.

>>16870515
haha w-who would do that. haha. not me

>>16870459
Yuengling isn't shitty beer

>truckload of beer for millions worth of marketing

ffs just leave her alone you filthy kikes.

>>16874375
>it's not just pissy macrobrew, it's REGIONALLY-LIMITED pissy macrobrew!

>>16874032
>>every other day
ngmi

>>16874408
I have the sense to wake up with a hangover and say "ah hell i can't keep doing this to myself" which doesn't fade until at least the next day
>>16874407
Wait until you find out how people act about Rainier

>>16872956
Same reason Russians drink, because the alternative is being there sober.

>>16871055
Still taking bribes, just for different shit. Smoking is down, hillbilly heroin is up.

>>16870459
> 107 years old
> Pounding lagers every day, 30 a day
> Get all my calories from beer
> New hobby is pissing 50 times an hour
> Partying directly into the grave
> Leave a pickled corpse that requires no embalming

Seems awesome.

>>16874537
>beer
>pickling

>>16870421
Whoa, something that helps you get rid of stress is good for you, who knew?!

>>16872956
One of the few legal joys left in this country, even though they are taxing it to hell now.

>>16870856
She's 107. Back in her day doctors were recommending daily servings of beer, ale and stout for it's marvellous health benefits. Some of them got into the habit of treating it like a supplement to their health I imagine.

>>16870421
ngl she looks incredibly good for 107. Would have guessed like 90.

>>16875419
seems to have worked if she made it to 107.

>>16870421
Yuengling chads...

>>16870421
>beer prolongs life
Jesus I'm going to live to be a thousand bros I never asked for this

>>16875878
liquor dramatically shortens it so you should be good

>>16870982
Jokes are funny. Edgy incels aren't.

>>16871036
Don't take nicotine as an alternative to caffeine. You will quickly turn into a fiend and you will go into full on heroin withdrawal mode when you stop. I fell for this meme 2 years ago and was taking oral nicotine lozenges and it quickly got to the point where I couldn't go 30 minutes without one. Just drink black coffee.

>>16870886
Kek

>>16874537
Kek

>>16870971
>I used to like Yuenglings, but some drunk guy at the bar told me they taste like pennies.

Glad i'm not the only one who thinks this. They used to be good but that shit tastes like liquid change.

>>16873084
To the contrary.
The OP proves that beer extends life, so if just one lager a day can get her to 107 it is logical to conclude that she could have been a thousand years old by now if she had been drinking harder.

>>16870459
Faggot

>>16876987
Okay than tell a funny joke

>>16876987
>that post is edgy now
christ you zoomers are sheltered..

>>16876987
shut up nigger

>>16870421
am i the only one who would tap that dusty muffin???

>>16878466
just so you can check that >100 box?

>>16878478
yes and because she looks like 80 tops.
I wonder how far her labia hang down