/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>16749477
literal retard thread

>>16749478
mushrooms are closer to humans that to plants

When you kill and eat an animal it's dead
But a mushroom doesn't die so it's in your stomach alive and will fuck with you and stuff

fungi came before animals.

>>16749494
Please explain how does it not die?

Mushrooms can manipulate chemical matters

>>16749477
>Go to acupuncture
>Come home relaxed
>Cook mushrooms
>Smell reminds me of jizz
Thanks grandpa. I'm glad you killed yourself. I hope any other pedos reading this do the same

>>16749502
It's doesn't die if you cut it from the ground
If you take a fruit of a tree it's gonna die
but a mushroom is still technically alive and it can still do things and sort of make decision
like it can go into your stomach and attack you chemically and curse you

>>16749511
he might've been controlled by mushrooms

Right now my head is being attacked by the mushrooms
there's nothing i can do but just hope i survive

i'm gonna lay down now and die

bye world

>>16749515
oh boy, it's the "I don't trust fungi" guy again

The thing I love about mushrooms is how they always seem to give me solid stools!

>>16750488
They spend so much time around trees so I'm not surprised they are so good at wood work.

They're great with chicken, eggs, pork, fish.. Versatile little fuckers

i didn't die

>>16750488
Are mushrooms good for pooping? I always assumed they weren't since they have no fiber.

>>16749477
>>/x/

>>16752211
depends what they decide. They can make you poo or they can make you constipate.
they can manipulate stuff like that

Fuck OP, this is now a pro Mushroom thread.
Everyone post your favourite mushrooms.

Mines the bolete, closely followed by the classic chanterelle and for sauce heavy dishes I like me some morels.

>>16752760
How do I get into mushrooms? I've never liked them. The texture always bothered me most I think.

>>16752838
Try a mushroom that isn't an overcooked white button

>>16752838
Good. You wont feel the wrath of the mushrooms

>>16752838
Try different kinds of mushrooms and prepare them in different ways.
When I hear people say they dislike the mushroom texture they generally mean the spongy, slightly slimy texture they get when you overcook them.
Try frying them in butter for a short time or frying them or whatever. You can also eat them raw but I'd dry them first.

You could also get a big slab of puffball and use that as a burger patty.

>>16752872
>You could also get a big slab of puffball and use that as a burger patty.
the mushrooms has turned you gay

>>16749477
Lenin was a mushroom. He ate so many of them, they took control over his body.

I've been eating a lot of mushrooms and my life has gone down the absolute shitter, so I get where you're coming from

>>16752841
That's the intention.
>>16752872
>spongy, slightly slimy texture they get when you overcook them
That's it, yeah. I've never tried cooking them much myself because my experience with them from other people/restaurants has basically been this. I'll give it another go with your tips. Puffball burger sounds interesting.

>>16752923
If you stop they will maybe show mercy and stop attacking you

>>16752760
fungal mycelium typed this post

Fungi were some of the first land organisms, here before the plants and animals
Way to go fungi!

>>16752935
>stretches my hyphae and secretes enzymes to digest you externally in your path

>>16752935
I'm actually a
ceratiomyxa fruticulosa plasmodium

>>16752941
Yes. They created plants and trees etc. They can control them
Just how we do with veggies etc. But the fungi just do it by manipulating the earth that the plants grow in.
They can control the mineral content of the ground etc. Water levels
They use these abilities in your body if you eat them. You're not safe until you shit them out

>>16752954
If you eat enough mushrooms to become part of the great and eternal mycelium these skills will become part of you.
I've been eating mushrooms since I was a little kid and I'm able to extend my mycelium through my feet and consume dead material from the ground.
I literally do not need food anymore.

>>16752961
i know you're larping now
if you mean it seriously then i'm afraid mushrooms has turned you schizo
(which they can ofc)

>>16750821
kek

Isn't this schizo mushroom shit more like /an/ and /x/? Why is this allowed on /ck/?

>>16752969
Just take the schizo mushroom threads and turn them into mushroom threads.
There can never be too many mushroom threads.

>>16752978
Fungi typed this post.

>>16752969
how is mushrooms paranormal?
They are down in the supermarket you moron

What's your guyses spirit fungi lol
I dunno maybe I'm a black mold? Lol
Most days I feel very diploid sporophyte though, and I don't know how to feel about it. Any tips?

>>16749477
>cursed something
that meme aged like milk

>>16753056
literally not that meme

>>16749570
Best schizo on /ck/

>>16749570
>>16753131
not me

>>16752838
That's because they (mushrooms) don't want you to like them. They can control stuff like that.

>>16753256
Yes mushrooms can manipulate dopamine and other stuff like that

>>16753317
No they fucking can't because we're not insects, our brains are way too big and we'd be long dead if they could get enough mycelia into our brains to manufacture enough neurotransmitter to have any effect. Why is this board so dumb?

>>16754383
how does a psycedelic mushroom effect the brain then?

>>16749515
Based schizophrenia poster

>>16754551
Mushrooms can cause schizophrenia

>>16749484
every other animal is closer to humans than mushrooms though

>>16754571
Not the ones in the OP

>>16749477

>>16754542
Shit you're right, I forgot about that.

>>16754584
Yes but they are dead when you eat them

>>16754586
All i know is they attacked me
I have some left in the fridge but i'm not gonna eat them. I don't want to get attacked again.
I might burry them even.

>>16754587
don't let /fit/ know about this. there will be some schizo who will start eating only pounds of button mushrooms to boost test.

I love mushrooms my state has the biggest mushroom in the world which also makes it the biggest organism in the world. We are all interconnected through the mycelium.

>>16754587
they make you pick a fight with someone and get fucked up. high test + schizo = heem sleepy (literally)

>>16754772
A lot of mushrooms will work together when they are in the forest
they can communicate with each other and they control the forest

>>16754752
mushrooms are the fruiting body of fungus, they never were alive. that's like saying your dick is alive. which it isn't because you're fucking impotent and retarded.

>>16754772
Fuck your mushroom. I'll take my Pando, we might not be the biggest organism but we are the oldest. But no for real mushrooms are great and I'm fascinated by that particular mycelium network is fascinating

>>16754810
Trust me my dick is alive
Actually two nights ago i came in my sleep
So not only is my dick very alive but it has a mind of it's own
Also the fact that you talk about mushrooms and then think about dick tells a lot about you
btw i'm uncut. If you are cut then you can't really talk about dick life

>>16754827
If you don't laugh and think about dicks when you look at a mushroom what's the point of even living anymore?
Penises are fucking hilarious looking and always have been

>>16752838
my favorite way is probably grilled beef and mushroom skewers. it's pretty easy, and you can use cheaper cuts for kabobs

>>16754844
Reminds me more of Normandy

>>16754848
skewers are low iq cooking

>>16754815
>Pando
I hope it never dies

>>16754857
that's the point though. just marinate the meat, skewer, and grill.

>>16749477
They look like penises and act like penises in the wild.

>>16754584
FUCK

>>16754852
How so?

It reminds me of one of my trips to Pays de la Loire, the region where you visit the pretty castles, there was a museum at Saumur dedicated to mushrooms built in a cave, nice and fresh perfect during the summer. Afterward, I ate some mushroom-shaped meringues, that was a nice trip.

>>16750821
Hohohoho! Yes, good.

>>16754542
Psilocybin mimics serotonin and can/does behave as a neurotransmitter

>>16749477
>cursed food
ok, reddit.

>>16750488
>>16750821
Went to a gay bar, waiter wanted to know if he could push in my stool..... said no am ok , what a nice gentle person

>>16754982
all those guys with helmets in a little box getting ready to die for _____.

>>16755110
Yes now imagine what it can do to your stomach etc

>>16752838
You don't have to get into them if you don't like them friend.
If you really want to tho, different mushrooms have different textures and dried mushrooms are
much better (not mushy -which is what people don't like about fresh mushrooms-)

>>16749515
>If you take a fruit of a tree it's gonna die
Based retard doesn't understand how plants work

>>16749515
What mental illness is this?

>>16756399
What did the mushroom say to the door when he left?


Nothing. Not a fucking thing. Not a single fucking word did he say, that motherfucker, not even "bye". What a fucker.

Can't eat mushrooms as they aren't plants and obviously nor are they an animal.

Can't eat shrimp either since they're literally cockroaches that live underwater.

>>16757384
It's too late you can't run from them it's useless it will outrun you there's no escape they are inside me already I can feel them moving inside me they will take control if I let them

>>16757384
a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is considered mentally ill

>>16757393
Like our government treating us like mushrooms, keep us in the dark and feed us bull shit.

>>16758038
Another soldier lost to them (shrooms). Let this be a lesson to all of you: don't eat the shrooms. (They) will take over your body. They control stuff like that.

>>16752760
Boletes are cool.
Here are some more cool boletes.

>>16758392
Fungal hands typed this post

>>16758392
>>16758400
>>16758403
>>16758407
>>16758413
>>16758419
Imagine eating this unirronically
you're too far gone. The mushrooms have taken over. Using as some sort of swinger club for fungi sex. What a way to go out

>>16749511
kek

>>16750488
>toadstools

>>16758556
Come, anon
lay down your arms
it is not too late for my mercy

>>16749484
plants are animals too dude

shittake mushroomz

this thread is property of lichen gang

>>16749515
OH NO VEGAN BROS WE CAN'T EAT MUSHROOMS WE GOT TOO COCKY BROS

>>16752226
>>/lgbt/

>>16760198
lichen are just symbiotic colonies of cyanobactera and fungus
fungalbros cannot stop winning
>captcha: mw ass