/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>16735524
That sounds really lame but you do you man. Also vegans from my experience consume alot more whole foods and not just processed garbage so they will be able to tell and probably go rob halford on your ass.

>>16735539
>vegans dont eat that so they'll know exactly what it tastes like
wut?

>>16735524
>serving a beef burger to a vegan
Yeah they'll 100% be able to tell right away and you'll be that asshole in the family forever. Go for it I guess, but why go through all this trouble to be an asshole?

>>16735524
look into indian lenti stews. tasty but prepare for farting.

>>16735556
once again
>vegans don't eat burgers so they'll know what a burger tastes like
I thought /sp/ or /tv/ was supposed to be the low IQ board.

Wouldn't work on me because I don't eat added fats or fake shit.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1948550611415695

You can paste the link in sci-hub for the full text, divorced dad/creepy uncle

>>16735550
i'm pretty sure most vegans have previously eaten animal products, they weren't always vegan

>>16735568
looks good but can jews eat indian food? his husband is jewish...

>>16735572
picrel

>>16735539
>not just processed garbage
so you mean to tell me that they dont go to the ends of the earth to do whatever they can to make their plants taste like not plants by not processing their food?
lol ok retard. and fake meat is all natural and not totally packed with "chemicals."

>>16735586
Most of it is pareve, mister creepy uncle.

>>16735581
cool, thanks for your speculation and explaining to me your dumb thoughts, exactlynwhat I wasn't asking for. the beyond burgers taste like really shitty hamburgers so I'm going to make really shitty hamburgers.

>>16735599
I don't know what that means, I really don't give a fuck what jews eat, I just don't want to offend the guy by offering him pickled pigs feet or whatever the vegan equivalent is.

>>16735524
>his vegan husband

checks out

>>16735597
Many do a vegan version of standard american diet. Others eventually try, often after a health scare.

>>16735600
>exactlynwhat I wasn't asking for
where?

all meat substitute burgers still have that "veggie burger" flavor to them though, despite all the marketing trying to convince you otherwise. it's kind of like soy sauce and mushrooms. it doesn't taste like overcooked beef. the only way you can't tell it's not real meat is to have a really thin patty and bury it beneath a bunch of condiments and stuff.

So I read something online that this stuff is virtually identical to ground beef in spaghetti sauce so maybe I'll do that. I'll even buy a bag and throw out the contents. I could make garlic bread as an excuse to use up the "vegan" butter from the night before.

>>16735652
>So I read something online that this stuff is virtually identical to ground beef in spaghetti sauce
it's not. seems like you're just wasting your own time and money.

>>16735647
>>16735665
youbhave a lot of experience with this stuff

>>16735524
Skip on the burgers dumbass.
People who generally don't eat met will get nauseated. They will catch on tot your ruse.

>>16735571
Not him, but...
Nobody starts out as a vegan.
I'm reasonably certain vegans will know meat when they taste it.
Also, why are you planning to do this?
I have high blood pressure, and if I ask you to go easy on the salt, would you just dump a ton of salt in my food?
Ditto lamb, squid, horse meat, dairy.
What's your issue?

>>16735524
Low self est loser detected. You sound worse than vegans

>>16735597
>they dont go to the ends of the earth to do whatever they can to make their plants taste like not plants
For my money, the best vegan dishes are the ones that aren't pretending to be meat.
I love me some pasta prima vera, grilled portabellas, sourdough bread.

>>16735617
>I just don't want to offend the guy by offering him pickled pigs feet or whatever the vegan equivalent is.
Jesus, I can't believe I just read that sentence.

>>16735690
>>16735692
that's literally propaganda they tell vegans to keep them from eating meat again, it has no basis in fact

>>16735704
there's nothing wrong with being vegan, you judgemental faggot

>>16735713
those are just recipes, water's naturally vegan but no one calls it vegan water.

>>16735719
what? are you the type of asshole who shit's on someone else's religion just because you don't understand it?

I got another recipe though, pancakes. I guess you can mix soy milk and vinegar together to simulate butter milk. So' I'll make vegan pancakes and give them the non vegan butter with them. also sausage gravy

>>16735750
Wow, what a shithead.

>>16735756
that's 4chan for you

>>16735524
I know from experience you can use real butter and milk in mashed potatoes and vegans won't notice.

>>16735524
they're gonna figure it out quickly, you gotta be more subtle
I'd cook with beef/chicken stock and say its vegetable based

>>16735524
How long have they been vegan? If it's been a few years they'll probably find out the truth from the explosive diarrhea you give them due to messed up gut bacteria.

>>16735847
maybe that's what OP wants. Maybe he's afraid of having 2 gay dudes banging in his house so he's trying to keep their buttholes occupied.

>>16735524
Youre doing God work anon.

Don't listen to these faygs

>>16735586
how the fuck should i know but since its vegan so probably?

>>16735928
Also, no dairy simplifies things.

>>16735524
>my relatives have a very specific diet so they bring food they know they can eat to be polite so they don't have to make any overbearing or disrespectful demands of their hosts
>what pretentious twats! how should I fuck with and disrespect them and their dietary choices as deeply as possible?
OP, YOU are the pretentious twat in this situation.

>>16735963

>>16735963

>>16735539
i love this post, i can just tell you're chill. keep keeping on brother

>>16735524
Keep us updated faggot

>>16736000
Diet is an incredibly personal thing, going out of your way to intentionally fuck with someone's diet makes you a fucking psychopath. I'm the furthest thing from being vegan, but as someone who suffers from health problems solved only with a particular diet I understand that you never know what kinds of problems people might have with certain foods, so it's best to be respectful and not fuck around with other people's health.

>>16735524
Good luck.

Pre-covid my office regularly had pot-lucks.
I would make “vegetable soup” but use veal blood in the broth. The IT-Hindus would eat that shit up and often ask for the recipe, which of course is a “family secret”. I also shared some pork-rinds with a Muslim classmate back in college and told her they were fried rice cakes.

>>16735600
>the beyond burgers taste like really shitty hamburgers

I ate meat until I was 20, and I'm now vegan for more than 10.
They taste nothing like each other, nothing.

>>16735750
>that's literally propaganda they tell vegans to keep them from eating meat again, it has no basis in fact
How would you possibly know that unless you used to be a vegan?

>>16736053
Are you trying to get OP's cousin to let you suck his dick or something?

>>16735524
what about California rolls. use fs ake cream cheese but instead of imitation crab use the real thing

They'll immediately know you switched all that stuff out when they realize it doesn't taste incredibly processed. Trust me, it's incredibly obvious
also enjoy getting your bathroom fucking obliterated by the unholy shits that will result from your actions

>>16736239
this. you need something like pic related and instead of butter use margarine. use powdered milk as well.

>>16735524

imagine being this sad.

Just be honest and I say you are too bad of a chef to use anything beside meat for depth in your dishes.

You are retarded as someone who went vegetarian for ten years before returning to the fold they will know even though you obviously can't tell. There is a richness to meats and animal fats that vegan substitutes don't emulate. If you really have to do this you need to be tricky.
Make refried beans with lard. It's delicious and there will be no meat evidence other than the full, rich flavor or provides

Cooking vegan is not that hard and is pretty good actually. It's when you want to simulate the taste of meat is when it falls apart.

>>16735524
macaroni salad, say you used the vegan mayo but use real. that stuff is so similar that kraft used them because they were scared of it.

>>16735524
DUDE! you're doing this all wrong. The worst thing you can do for a vegan is to make vegan food.

An even more horrible thing you can do is make it taste better than they can cook it.

>>16736331
This is honestly the best answer. There are delicious vegan dishes out there, but any of them trying to pass off as meat just suck. Vegan's are going about it all wrong trying to push their lifestyle on the world. No one needs another shitty veggie burger, just make actual vegan shit that tastes good

>My vegan cousin and his vegan husband
>responding to this shitty bait

>>16736428
Please never speak to me or my wife's son ever again.
;^)

>>16736437
grats on the (You)s shit head, don't spend them all in one place

>>16736440
>I don't understand what sarcasm is.
Jesus fucking Chist, Anon.

>>16735550
Butter actually has flavour, so they will be able to tell right away.

>>16735539
Let's talk about the amount of processing required to make soy edible.

>>16736541
Steaming and opening the pods? Maybe a little sauce?

>>16735524
They will definitely be able to tell because if will be too flavorful to be vegan

>>16735524
How long have they been vegan? They might get sick from eating meat products. A lot of vegans and vegetarians need to transition to meat products slowly to give their digestive system time to catch up.

>>16736548
Edamame as a snack is one thing. Eaten in any significant amounts, and it's bad for you. Farmers used to mix soy beans into their feed when the animals were too fat. It provided roughage, but has zero nutritional value. The soy that makes it into food is processed to hell and back and consumes far more energy to produce than more traditional foods.

>>16736549
A coworker of mine is vegetarian. He loves the veggie burger served at a local burger joint. He also fully admits that the reason it tastes good is because they cook it on the flattop with the real burgers. He also likes pepperoni pizza. He picks off the pepperoni and will be the first to tell you that it's better than just a cheese pizza because of the pepperoni grease. Weird guy.

>>16736568
Farmers still feed cattle and pigs soybeans... And it's not too thin them down. You want as much fat as it can get on them

>>16736561
if they have a healthy marriage they probably eat meat daily

>>16736631
Daily would be annoying for me. Are you a virgin?

>>16735524
Sorry about your gay genes bro, if you don't catch it, your sons certainly will

>>16736692
>if you don't catch it, your sons certainly will

Especially if he's inviting such people into his house.

why do non-vegans always get so obnoxious when confronted with someone who doesnt eat meat?
and i dont mean preachy american leftoid vegans, i mean regular-ass people who just dont eat meat.
cant order a fucking falafel and a side of hummus without some faggot in the group acting like high-treason was committed because i didnt order "the best fucking kebab youve ever tasted bro i swear"

>>16736792
I don't know, I find it obnoxious myself and I'm a carnivore. I prefer to just let people eat the way they want.

>>16735524
That seems like a lot of effort to accomplish nothing or make someone hate you, depending on whether you'll tell them what you did.

Don't you have an incel manifesto to write?

>>16736689
do you fall asleep watching the price is right, you old fuck?

>>16736823
I shut off everything before I collapse. Sometimes I watch Attenborough documentaries or cartoons when the autistic slut I fuck in his vagina is here.

As a vegan, I sometimes go out of my way to trigger carnists extra hard by picking up my phone and conversing in foreign languages in front of them. They hate being reminded they never took the initiative to learn a second language ;)

>>16736692
>gay genes
Is that what they call child molestation these days?

>>16736792
>preachy american leftoid vegans

speaking from experience vegroids are the same everywhere, here in the eu too

won't they immediately figure out your food is not vegan food when they realize it tastes good?

>>16736057
Muslims can eat pork if they don't know it's pork before ingesting.
>>16736205
>Just make the cheapest sushi roll but 10x pricier
Kek
>>16736861
>Stop eating meat
>Immediately start speaking inferior languages
Coincidence?

>>16737612
I'd actually started on Spanish a couple years before I turned nine (9) and did a veganism

OP here. after reading your replies(which were all very helpful, even if you didn't intend them to be) I've decided to go with french onion soup for the second night.I'll definitely be using beef stock and saying it's vegetable stock, but like one anon mentioned adding value blood to soup I may just drain a couple raw steaks into it for good measure.

other anons made a good point that butter doesn't taste anything like vegan "butter" so I went out and bought some. Like anon suggested margarine tastes fairly similar so I'll use that when I swap the labels. Will be good for corn and potatoes when I grill.

thinking about making mashed potatoes with margarine and a mix of almond and dry milk. I'll chop some chives and have some vegan sour cream on the side(they won't use it but it makes it look like I'm trying).

as for using real burgers that are heavily processed and trying to pass them off as beyond burgers I'm going to test a couple of both with my neighbors dog tomorrow.

still planning on passing hidden valley off as vegan for the salad.

thanks for the input guys.

Why would you waste your precious time on earth catering to mentally ill people who only want to eat beans. Let them go eat beans then

>>16738322
family means sacrifice

>>16738328
Dead weight. I cut everyone off when I went to college. Havent spoken to a family member in 11 years

you are a sad person. imagine going to these lengths just to prove to your family members who miserably mad you are at their existence

>be me
>be vegan
>have vegan husband
>like to visit anon because he can be a good guy at the end of the day
>done this before, always bring our own food so we don't have to inconvenience anon for our sake
>this time anon convinces us he'll cook a vegan dinner
>apprehensive especially since he doesn't always seem like he likes my husband or i
>decide to give him a chance anyway
>looking forward to the weekend :)

>>16738333
that's fair, depending on your situation I may not blame you. unfortunately I only barely make six figs right now so I can't afford to track down a compatible organ if for some reason I needed a transplant(or even blood). it doesn't hurt too keep them around if you can see them for what they are.

>>16735524
So uf I understand correctly you purchased some sticks of actual vegan butter, and vegan ranch but just tossed them so you can refill the nottle with shitty soybean oil ranch and regular butter? Why the fuck are you going through all that trouble just grill the corn with the vegan butter
>impossible burger tasted just like a shitty burger
You deserve what you get for falling for a marketing campaign

>>16738345
his husband is cool as fuck. he makes this crazy electronic jazz like shit, can't teach him to play piano for the life of me but he gets the mathematics behind music theory and has a great ear. we both love old video games too, he taught me about something they call sequence breaking in an old Samus game(the robot girl from smash bros) and he was flying all over the screen. I think he beat the game in less than an hour. if I could I would only fuck with my cousins food but that would be too obvious, and they're homos anyway who feed eachother off their own plates.

I actually think I might feel bad about this plan, but fuck em. No homo.

>>16735524
Goddamn, OP. Beet orzo (hydrated in veg stock) w/ chopped asparagus served over fennel puree. Jesus.

>>16738375
>I actually think I might feel bad about this plan, but fuck em. No homo.
yeah, you almost had some empathy for someone you ostensibly respect

>>16738381
why would I have respect someone that hasn't had a job in 6 years and thenonly reason he hasn't died is because he's leeching off my family?

>>16735524
Who hurt you?

>>16738386
so he isn't "cool as fuck"? because i'm talking about the guy you spent a paragraph gushing over

>>16738395
yeah, I knew a homeless dude that was cool as fuck. he played sax on a street corner. he sucked dick too, but that was only when the sax money wouldn't cover his opioid addiction. I w column old never have invited him into the house unless he was family. Kind of the same thing.

But you guys are pushing me off topic here and I'm at fault for letting it happen.

I really like the vegan mayo mac salad made with real mayo idea but my cousin texted back and said neither of them like celery so what should I put in it.

>>16738395
I think OP has mental illness

>>16738420
>an old Samus game(the robot girl from smash bros)

Something's a bit different, at least.

OP, are you living with your parents? Is your brother visiting his parents?

>>16735647
>>exactlynwhat I wasn't asking for
>where?

>>16735524
Wow dude, you have issues. Not only doing that to family members for being "pretentious", but just straight up being a dick. Why don't you just end the relationship or tell them they're being pretentious like an adult?

>>16735631
Flaxseed is just like soy with estrogens

>>16736573
Similar experience. Had a vegan fag come to one of my bbq (grill not smoke). Didnt know he was coming. He brought his own food. Was asked to cook it for him. I said sure. Finished cooking all the meat. Threw the patties on after. He took one bite and asked if i had warmed his food on top of aluminum foil or straight on the grates. Asked why he was asking. He said it tasted different than usual. Told him it was on the grates. He spit up the food and threw away the entire pack of patties. Fucking fag.

>his vegan husband
nice troll. have a you

>>16738257
>will the vegans eat it
>tests it on dog

>>16739418
I eat flax specifically for lignans which are good for cardiovascular health.

If you want to lower your actual estrogen, you should be eating more fiber. Your excess estrogen gets recycled when the lower intestine isn't full of fiber to absorb and remove it.