/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>16730479
Please don't tell me you're going to eat 21 oysters for lunch

>>16730488
It's Brain food

>>16730495
No, it's not you fucking retard

For most people, I've been told it's the texture, or of course they just like seafood. I don't think it helps how unappetizing they look either, being all grey and shit.
I'd help you smash those oysters over some beers though, OP, they look pretty ok all things considered.

>>16730479
>oysters Rockefeller
Cuz only senior citizens at buffets eat these

>>16730479
Should have asked them if they like oysters.

>>16730502
Why would I do that? It's my home. I'm the one that took the time and money and effort to get them something to eat. They should be grateful

>>16730512
Did you offer to suck their cocks if they tried one? Rookie mistake if you didn't.

>>16730512
I know right? All the girls I know start acting all uppity and weird when I invite them over and whip out a plate of oysters.

>>16730550
For me, it's the eggs. The best food to force upon guests at my house.

>>16730479
You invite them to dinner and only serve oysters?

>>16730512
>Why would I do that? It's my home. I'm the one that took the time and money and effort to get them something to eat. They should be grateful
What an American way of looking at things.

>>16730721
Americans don't have oysters in their country let alone know what they are

those look like shit, you overcooked the spinach

>>16730723
You are a retard. Im midwest and I would eat the shit out of those oysters. I also like them raw.

>>16730550
I dated a girl that didnt like seafood. I got her to eat a cocktail shrimp and she acted like it was killing her

>>16730558

>>16730723
Lol America has the best oysters in the world what are you talking about. Oysters Rockefeller is an American dish

>>16730773
cocktail sauce sucks dick and ice cold cocktail shrimp is the worst possible way to prepare a shrimp.

>>16730512
you absolute autist

why would you waste perfectly good oysters by putting crap on them. god i hate you so much just eat them plain as poseidon gave them to us

i hate your bitch ass friends even more though. always at least try whatever your host has prepared for you. sadly tasteletism is the normie way and people werent raised to try new things these days

big piss and also cum
yolo swag, smy out

>>16730479
>have friends stop by
>make some battered sheep testicles
>none of them eat it

Why don't people like sheep testicles?

Ungrateful cunts

>>16730479
>friends
>don't have the slightest clue about their food preferences
>friends?

>>16730833
You would think the name Rockefeller should have given away the fact that it is an american dish

>>16730479
That isn't Rockefeller and the oysters are too big. I wouldn't have eaten them either and I live oysters.

>>16730479
You need better friends, OP.
I'd have had some.

>>16730512
I bet your guests only come over to drink your alcohol.
They sure as shit aren't coming to keep you company.

>>16730550

"You don't have to tell me what happened, but you do have to eat this" as I hand her a bowl of oysters

>>16730479
Oysters are a meme food, if I was there, I would told you "dude, that looks gross, don't you have some doritos?"

>>16730850
Fried testicles are unironically delicious though. I never understood why people have no problem eating muscle meat but any other part is gross to them. Like they're all just parts of the same dead body.

>>16730479
looks delicious man!

>>16730932
>eating another males testicles

undeniably cucked and cumpilled

>>16730479
You should have asked them if they would eat that before they came over. Last time I had people over I had a ton of booze and grilled prime filets

>>16730958
If you have good friends, they'll leave you with more booze than they drank.

>>16730940
>anthropomorphizing butchered livestock
Oh, so a straight guy only eats pig uterus, right?

>go to anon's house for dinner
>he made oysters
>get served this
>he obviously dropped them in the litter box and is trying to serve them anyways
>starts reeing and stomping around
>picks a piece of cat shit off the plate and throws it at me
>shrug and leave
>go get taco bell

>>16730927
13 year olds bring their own snacks.

>>16730940
ill rip your balls off and eat them, bitch. fuck you

>>16730853
They're classmates in a group project. Still, I hosted the event and did more than my fair share of the work and made them food and the fuckers wouldn't even try it. I'd be fine if they tried it and said they didn't like it, but refusing to even give it a taste is a slap in the face.

>>16730967
This always felt like an age thing to me.
When I drank underage and even into college it wasn't uncommon for people to leave with whatever booze they showed up with.
If they drank your booze, you'd more likely get an IOU for next time or cash.
Now that I'm an adult I always leave what's left or bring something nice to offset the larger amount of cheaper stuff of theirs that I'll likely drink.
I don't know when this switch happened because I don't remember it happening despite having mostly the same small group of friends.

>>16731042
I thought it was always poor manners to take home any drinks you brought. Typically when you bring food or drinks it's your contribution to the party and a gift to the house you're visiting. I could maybe see kids not understanding that, but by the time I was going to parties in high school this was common behavior

>>16731041
I agree that it's rude to not even give it a taste but oysters rockefeller is a bizarre food to prepare for a group project.
Just put out some meat and cheese.

they knew what would happen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GZos2g6DJw

>>16731041
You sound like you need to find better company. I would've gladly eaten those oysters they look delicious. Did you use Pernod when making them?

>>16731053
Couldn't tell ya.
My friends still hang out with me a decade later so we're probably just socially retarded and caught on late.

>>16731042
It probably helps that I'm not jewish, and none of my friends are either. I feel like jews probably leave with more food than they bring, and steal your toiletries too.

>>16731113
You think jews are bad? A coworker of mine is mormon and his mormon brother invited his whole family to a lavish thanksgiving. Then he let them know how much per plate they owed him.

>>16730479
>21 oysters
Do Amerifats really?

>>16731041
>No one asks for food
>Make food
>They don't eat food
>Waaaahhhhhh eat my food

>>16731041
Youre trying way too hard if your making oysters rockefeller for classmates working on a group project. You dont want to be a Doublemint Dave

>>16731113
I once worked with a Jewish guy who when traveling would stay in the seediest roach motels to save his $200 per diem and would still steal the single-ply toilet paper and just pile it in his trunk to use at home.

>>16731133
They don't call it The Salt Lake Levant for nothing you know.

>>16730479
I like oysters, I just wouldn't trust oysters prepared by my autistic friend.

>>16730479
i devour most seafood but i fucking loathe oysters., simple as. i'm a little texturefag so i can't even cope with wrinkly tomato skin, has to be 110% ripe and perfect.

>>16731167
Kek

do americans really put cheese on oysters?

>>16731222
Some might. Oysters Rockefeller doesn't have cheese though.

>>16730833
>America has the best oysters in the world
Is that why they cultivate two Japanese and one European species??

KEK jingoism BTFO

>>16730723
Peak shit posting

>>16730932
Because I'll eat heart, liver, and facemeat but I'm not fucking eating balls. Go ahead and enjoy fried testicles, I'll be actually enjoying what I eat.

>>16731042
I remember this as well but also I'm a total jew. I switched to this beer called lucky Streak a few months ago cause its 15 bucks a 30 rack. Started noticing its always still there when I return the next time. That's like double jew points on my part. I rarely drink other peoples alcohol though unless they offer for reasons of taking a shot together or some shit though so really I'm a net neutral and I pretend nobody cares (they most likely really don't)

>>16730479
That looks fucking amazing OP, your friends suck

>>16731269
>incorporate things from other countries and cultures
>those things are now part of your country and culture

>>16731167
I'm not autistic, you retard

>>16731269
99% of all livestock and crops are not being cultivated in the region they originated you mouthbreathing tard

>>16731041
Oysters aren't considered to be "crowd pleasers". If you wanted to serve classy party food you could've prepared a charcuterie board. Even then you're 22 year old classmates don't want that. Should've just ordered pizza.

>>16731145
>Doublemint Dave
qrd?

>rockefeller
>not an American dish
bongs have fallen so far from grace

Anon, if you’re serious…

You’re just showing off. Doing nice things for people requires it to be about them. The food was not something normal for a study party or normal for anyone to make. You picked a fancy show off recipe. People would much rather have chips and dip, or if you want to show off make tacos or wings. Something everyone would be ok with, and isn’t overly fancy. It’s like being mad guests didn’t appreciate your fine china, and chipped your crystal, oh god they used the cloth napkins and stained them?! It’s not about the guest and their enjoyment. A study group isn’t fine dining, and lots of people mistake their own hopes and tryhard attitude as “for others” when in reality you made those oysters for you, to show off that you’re a chef guy. Know your audience essentially. If you want to impress a study group, have a comfortable space with seats for everyone, make it really clean. Not like scrub every surface but don’t have it be cluttered and make sure the bathroom smells good and is spotless. Have the Wi-Fi password ready and some easy snack stuff and potentially sparkling water, coffee, juice for people to drink.

>>16731576
And offer them blowjobs.

what would happen if you ate 20 oysters at once?

>>16731576
If I wanted to impress some coworkers or something I'd probably go fresh, but not really foreign like pico de Gallo. Anon what's that? It's like salsa but with fresh veg. Most people haven't had fresh herbs, cilantro would be a show stopper, plus I could have regular store bought salsa in case someone's not a fan. Probably something else too but idk I'm not actually planning it so don't give a dam. Point is op is Def retard

>>16730512
You sound like you host your guests as if they were your prisoners. No wonder nobody wanted to eat your oysters. They probably were trying to get away from your miserable sack of an existence the whole time.

>>16730512
It's called being a good host you self-absorbed shithead.

>>16731522
Its an old post. Google it

>>16731604
I've never had oyster but I've had about 50 raw clams in a single sitting. Basically your tummy feels super nice and cool but also stuffed. Might have been the beer though.
Inb4 fatty do Americans really
180 6 feet so kinda, and yes, we used to anyway. They canceled my state police clambake though. Idk why. Those clams were always so friggin good

>>16730932
>you mean you'll eat a ribeye but won't suck down a glass of bull cum?? what a hypocrite

I couldnt imagined going to a school project and being served oysters rockefeller. Then having the host get bent out of shape and start insisting you try the oysters. The other group members at least have a funny story about the oyster guy.

>>16731665
I have some shame to unload anons. I played a porn flash game the other day, had been edging for like an hour. One of the scenes in it you were stranded without food with a farm girl and she talks about how she was taught how to milk men for situations like this and she milks you. In the moment I thought it was hot... Still not as bad as that time I came to that Asian chick dumping live squid in her vag and talking about how she should have listened to her dad and stayed in school.

>>16730558
>>16730827

>>16730495
i'd eat every last one of those in a heartbeat. that shit is my fucking cryptocurrency

>>16731692
sounds hot. link?

>>16731728
Flash game was a Zelda one. Spirit bubbles? Malons the farm girl. Tbh the game play was pretty fun too.

If you mean squid Asian chick it'd be just as much work for me to find it I think. That was years ago haven't been that sick in a long time thankfully

>>16730837
Its literally the easiest most tasteless seafood to eat.
>>16730773
Thanks for reminding me why I hate women again.

>>16731779
it's tasteless garbage with sour cocktail sauce. of course she hated that shit

For the same reason normal people don't want to go to degusting shoreline, shove their hands into the water, grab out the intestines of random animals, and then proceed to throat themselves with said intestines.

>>16730917
>>16730827
Based sigma white knights

>>16730479
OP is help you eat them I fucking love oysters. Afterwards we could jack off each other’s oyster engorged erections

Do you prefer snails or oysters?

>>16731919
these guys look like they just put both oysters and the snail into their mouths all at once

>>16731604
The most I ever ate was 42. I'm from the midwest, and fresh oysters are normally like $3 each if you can find them. I was in the outer banks in NC and I found a place that was $5 a dozen. I had 3 dozens, with 3 beers, then another half dozen before I left. Didn't regret a thing, would do it every week if I lived on the coast.

>>16730479
>>have friends stop by
>>make some oysters Rockefeller
>>none of them eat it
>Why don't people like oysters?

3 things to say:
Why are you making Oysters in the SUMMER? I would wonder if you WTF know what you're doing and where they came from. Hrm.
I would also suggest you hang out with people who are uncultured and never traveled to NOLA or had any fine dining. Know your audience. Pate or snails might have gone untouched with that crowd.

>>16730512
sasuga autist-kun

>>16731145
He's already acting like mark the mint man
>OP the oyster prodigy

Oysters are amazing I can destroy an entire minisack(about 100) by myself shucking them and all in like two days tops.

>>16730479
Just bake or grill them in their shells alone, then make a sauce with cilantro and serve or with lemon and a bottle of tabasco or sriracha. If you know your friends, you should have an idea of what they eat normally besides cocks.

Most people haven't tried oysters rockefeller and it looks gross if you haven't tasted it before, it's a repeating cycle with all kinds of foods.

>>16732140
lol i forgot about mark the mint man and his dad doublemint dave

>>16732140
The oyster autist

>>16730479
I love oysters. I like smoked and I like raw. I can't even tell what all that stuff is so I wouldn't want to eat it. Just give me the oyster and some lemon please and I'll be really happy and hang out with you.

>>16732395
Maybe fool around a bit too?

>>16731057
the summer wind
came blowin in
across the sea

>>16731674
The SOYster Guy

OP got shucked and cucked
BTFO

>>16732458
Kek!

>>16732458
>>16732468
Samefag

>>16732476
U rite

Lmao! Is this OP? >>16732504

>>16731053
>>16731042
>>16730967
Someone should start a booze etiquette thread.
My only good story is I went to a grad student department social at the beach where they said there’d be drinks. I knew they were gonna suck and sure enough the department only paid for a 12 pack of something forgettable like bud, though I’m sure it was the fault of whatever spaz was in charge of getting the stuff. I brought a pack of darker bottled hipster beer and also a pack of hard lemonade for the girls and sure enough the chicks jumped on the lemonade and it made me look good. The chick I liked drank one of the hipster beers and kept eyeing me while drinking it.
Years later at a friends nerd party I brought prepacked marinated meats from the grocery store for the grill and several boxes didn’t even go on the grill so I gave em to the guys i had just met. So one of them gave me an unopened bottle of strawberry vodka and I eventually opened it up at home and got sloshed browsing 4chan a few times. feelsgoodman.

>>16730479
They taste like slimy gelatine balls filled with water from a tropical fish tank.

>>16732525
Where I live it's always BYO unless stated.

>>16732532
>They taste like slimy gelatine balls filled with water from a tropical fish tank.
You know what slimy gelatine balls filled with water from a tropical fish tank tastes like personally?

You're asking why people don't like sea boogers?

cooked oysters are gross. Raw oysters are based.

>>16732648
based on what?

>>16732651
https://health.clevelandclinic.org/7-reasons-to-love-oysters-even-if-you-hate-them/

>>16730512
You're right, it sounds like you're friends with a bunch of assholes.

>>16732515
Holy shit. Lol!

>>16730488
I would love to eat 21 oysters for lunch

>>16732720
They arent his friends though. He is pissed he cant make his study buddies eat some oysters he randomly pushed on them

>>16730512
based retard, now you've wasted your time and effort to make something that nobody will appreciate because you're a belligerent autist

>>16732944
You may have just summed up most of this board

>>16730932
they should have surf n turf oysters. mountain and sea

>>16730479
>why does nobody want to eat these slimey sea slugs I made look even more unappetizing?

>>16730512
At least be pragmatic about it, if you had asked you wouldn't have wasted money on oysters that could potentially go bad before you eat them all by yourself, and instead just gotten them chips or made something cheaper and more appealing to them. I know you are a retard but at least be a stingy retard

>>16730479
those look like they can Rockefeller's gut all night

>>16730479
I would have eaten all the oysters with you anon.

>>16730479
i love oysters, but i also think that they should be eaten raw.

no wonder no one eats rockefeller oysters they are a waste of product

>>16730773
Sounds based to me, a woman tbat wont eat sea bugs

>>16730499
Who hurt you?

>>16730512
There's a difference between
>"hey guys I just whipped up some ________, anyone want a bowl?"
And
>"Since we are here I'll make us something to snack on and we can socialize and eat like the olden days"
>Makes several plates of a single item that people are known for being squeamish about
>Immediately goes to bitch on a Croatian leather working forum

>>16731726
>my fucking cryptocurrency
A scam mostly used for pedo and drug trade?

>>16730558
>>16730827
>>16731694

>>16730479
>have friends
almost had me anon

>>16730512
Anon these were guests, not beggars or your children. They wanted to spend time with you and instead of trying to make them comfy you acted as if they came to use your charity

>>16731726
Based analogy mixer

>>16734491
I love that a dumb 4chan post has become immortalized in JAV

>>16730932
I'll try balls. What's the texture like? When you fry them like that, why not slice them? How much fat is in them; what are the pan thermokinetics like?

>>16735658
It taste so good when the cooked semen squirts all over your tongue when you bite down. Mmmm, animal semen is the best.

>>16735661
The sperm are made in the testicle. The mucous is made in the seminal vesicle. So really what I'm imagining it tastes like is sort of like marrow but with less blood, as that's also a cell production center. Compare that to kidney, which is eaten all the time, which is literally collected piss.

>>16730773
is cocktail shrimp a euphemism for your penis? if so, you're based and if not you're a faggot

>>16730735
>spinach
>oysters rockefeller

ishiggydiggy

>>16730479
>Why don't people like oysters?
Texture of phlegm. Contaminants due to being a filter species.

>>16730512
you lack reasoning
the first step is asking what the guests would like to eat

>>16731269
Is this bait or are you mentally retarded like full on helmet and drool out the side of your mouth?

>>16731133
Is this a meme or...?

>>16731919
I like the taste of oysters, but I never look for them since I live in the midwest and wouldn't trust them.
I've thought about raising my own escargot, but snails always taste very earthy to me.

>>16735776
yet people still eat them enough to hike up the price so that us true enjoyers can't even enjoy them anymore

>>16730479
the 1880's called they want their garbage food back.

>>16732698
>>16730479
the Oysters are still in their shell
that was your single biggest mistake

I can buy a tin of smoked oysters for like 3 bucks at the store and they have had their shell removed, and they're cooked and smoked.

>>16735934
No it's absolutely true. Mormons would shock a Jew if you put one in a room with them. By the time the Jew left they would have 17 soy candles, three full sets of essential oils, cheap yoga pants at a 1000% markup, a home alarm system, a doorbell camera, a time share in park city, a 3 year pest control contract and a sizeable donation to the president hinkley foundation for wayward girls

>>16736916

Hey man, those Mormon women love their MLMs

>>16731041
Younger and less socialized people would refuse to try it like children, as they aren't self aware enough to care about your feelings in that moment. If you're in college a lot of the people you will meet are still emotionally children. From their perspective you forced them into a weird situation that they didn't know how to handle.

Hope that helps.

>>16734491
Source

>>16730479
Goddamn that looks delish.

>>16736381
its like that with most fish honestly

>>16730479
Why didn't you just leave them on the half shell with some lemon, horseradish and cocktail sauce on the side?

>>16730917
lmao

>>16735695
True, I'd rather eat testicles than offal

>>16730932
As an avid meninist I refuse to support industrial castration of any male no matter the species
hashtag save the nuts

>>16730479
I think the more important thing here is that apparently you know so little about your alleged "friends" that you made something they all hated.
Anon, this is less about them and more about you.

>>16730479
Imagine the huge loads you would blow after downing all those oysters.

>>16730512
Yeah, have fun losing all your friends one by one until you truly become the social pariah you have latent inside.

Unless you're a complete moron/narcissist/psychopath, you usually tend to care whether your FRIENDS (the people who supposedly matter to you in life) enjoy themselves or not.

If you truly do not care about anyone else's comfort and just want to be praised — you've got major issues. Why would people even want to hang with you? Give me two good reasons why they should give a fuck when your attitude is that your friends should abide by your standards at all times, oe they don't get to be in your presence.

Also, burn your fedora collection and asian blade collection before you pass the point of no return.

>be american
>grow gigantic ass tasteless oysters
>smother them in butter and breadcrumbs
>chuck it it the oven
>call it fine cuisine
have a dozen of small fresh ones by the bay with a dry white wine some time, see what oysters are really about

>>16730479
you forgot to add Pernod

>>16739617
How can you tell by a photo??

>>16739651
sometimes you just know

>>16739240
the truth is strong with this one

It is delicious fried and served with tartar sauce.
I like it better than raw oyster.

It is delicious fried and served with tartar sauce.
I like it better than raw oyster.

>>16739248
>tips beret

>>16739678
the original recipe is secret, how do you know it contains pernod?

>>16737102
I’m in university and I would’ve smashed those fucking oysters (as long as they tasted good)
>>16731485
This
>>16731145
He’s already a double mint Dave now

>>16739248
>grow gigantic ass tasteless oysters
That just doesn’t make sense

We do it with tomatoes, and a lot of other fruits and vegetables, but with oysters? Are you seriously implying that a larger oyster has less flavor than a small oyster? That sounds retarded. You should probably get yourself checked out.

it's OP's like this that make me think, "hey, maybe i'm not such a fucking retard after all."

>>16739767
hats off anon for not forgetting the pernod

>>16730500
I mean, oysters do have the consistency of snot

>>16730500
>I'd help you smash those oysters over some beers though, OP, they look pretty ok all things considered.
DUDE i just LOVE the hustle and bustle of the big city, it’s so DYNAMIC and makes me feel like i’m in one of my favourite TV SHOWS. you should totally come on down to my studio apartment, it’s got EXPOSED RED BRICK walls and everything, we can crack open a nice hoppy ipa or three and get crazy watching some cartoons on adult swim! and dude, dude, DUDE, we have GOTTA go down to the barcade- listen here, right, it’s a BAR where us ADULTS who do ADULTING can go DRINK. BUT!!!! it’s also an ARCADE like when we were kids, so we can play awesome VIDEO GAMES, without dumb kids bothering us. speaking of which megan and i have finally decided to tie the knot- literally -we’re both getting snipped tomorrow at the hospital, that way we can save money to spent more on ourselves and our FURBABIES. i’m fuckin JACKED man, i’m gonna SLAM this craft beer and pop open another one!!!