/ck/ - Food & Cooking

Nothing. The company is profitable as-is and as the CEO I would have scores of researchers and marketing execs beneath me to make sure it stays profitable.
Maybe I'd buy a boat or something?

Mcdonald's now only sells fresh food with plenty of vegetables such as carrots, eggplant, okra, zucchini, etc. The condiment packets would be replaced with olive oil to use as lubricant so that I could cram these veggies up my ass.

Every single item now has pork meat in it, even the veggie burgers.

>>16706716
>be me
>be CEO of McDonalds
>fire every single nigger who works there
>now have to employ thousands of people to fill empty roles
>bright idea.gif
>make every homeless person a McDonalds employee by microchipping them and barring them into the store, no ID so no one will come looking for them
>armed McDonalds police now stand surrounding McD’s just in case
I love america

>>16706716
I would come into the office every day and shout "Selling borgar to-day?" and my employees would be forced to reply "Yes borgar commander, sell borgar!" and then I would say "Good!" and leave. Nothing else about the company would change and I wouldn't take any form of compensation.

Some very creative answers. Guess I'll go with one of my ideas: have a burger with roofies in it and call it the McDidle.

>>16706731
Fuck, is it too late to change my answer to this?

>>16706728
BurgerCorp USA©®™ god I love ancaps

>>16706733
A burger cooked in lard and protein powder, and call it the McThicken.

>>16706733
The Harvey McDiddle

>>16706748
Epic
>>16706749
Kek

>I'd also change the name of the value menu to, "The Hall of Cost"
>Make a vanila McFlurry with apple pie chunks and call it McCreampie

Also goes without saying 24/7 ice cream machine. Make each restaurant have 5 of them. And the Shamrock shake year round. And the McRib would be a full slab of fully smoked, real ribs, on the same bun. And it would cost $50 a peice.

Rename the mcchicken to the chicken burger

>>16706792
>The fire of God's wrath is sending hundreds of those filthy Australian beasts straight to hell!

>>16706716
>become CEO
>do nothing
>get fired after 3 months with a huge severance package
>never have to work again in my life

>>16706731
I’m forced to agree

I just turn it into burger King but with better milkshakes

>>16706716
Maccas is pretty awesome. Maybe make international menus use Aussie beef & include the sausage & egg McMuffin from the Australian breakfast menu, which with the amazing beef sausage is the greatest menu item they serve anywhere. So basically export what we have

test

>>16706716
>slip drugs that permanently sterilize people into the mcdonalds food in my country
>wait a generation
>reap the rewards of being in a country with all low IQ people removed peacefully

I would make the fries be cooked in lard again. In fact, I'd do that for every menu item

>>16706974
This is a lot better than my idea >>16706726

>>16706716
Shut it all down. Turn them all into strip joints.

>>16706716
a. cook the fries in tallow again
b. return of Supersize
c. invest in tech so i can fire all the slackjawed workers begging for more money

>>16706716
I eat

Introduce booze on the menu.

>>16707374
Why yes, id like a mcshot with that

>>16706716
coffee will be kept in pressurized vessels so we can heat it above the boiling point, and served at 200 degrees F.

>>16706716
Beef tallow as fry oil.
Delete all vegetable/seed/soy oils.
Tell vegans to fuck off.

>>16706716
>dump every item on the menu except for the mcchicken
>change the name of the restaurant to mcchickens
>give 3-for-free a job coming up with new menu items that use the mcchicken in some way (mcchicken shakes.)
>sit back and watch the profits roll in

>get rid of mccafe bullshit
>slash all prices in half
there i just saved mcdonalds

Reduce the quality of the fries

>>16707744
How would you make them worse? They're already the second-worst fast food fries behind BK, even Wendy's trashy "fresh cut" fries are better.

make so the quarter pounder doesn't have 1000mg of salt

mcdonalds is for white trash

McPizza
McPasta
McTaco
McNachos
McChinese
McKosherdeli
McHalal
McVindaloo
McRamen
McPho
McBoogaloo

>>16706974
I really miss the deep fried apple "pies" of my youth.

>>16707042
>Shut it all down. Turn them all into strip joints.
Keep them open, but add strippers.

Bring back the Big Mac Jr.
I love to get two of them, and yes, I know that doesn't make any sense.
Also, year-round McRib.

>>16707924
McTits

>>16706716
I bring back the Volcano Burrito amfrom taco bell

>>16708388
Kys

>>16708411

Went to mcdonalds the other day, tried to order a salad. The fucker told me they haven't had salads in years. Wtf.

>>16706716
>bring back snack wraps
>bring back beef tallow frying oil
>bring back deep fried pies
>no more celebrity “meals”
>make the Big Mac with quarter pounder patties by default
Simple as. It’d be 10x better.

>>16708436
>Simple as.
Oh, Jesus, you're that Sea Lion cocksucker from /news/, aren't you?

>>16708420
>fucker told me they haven't had salads in years.
https://www.mcdonalds.com/ae/en-ae/full-menu/salads.html

>>16707883
I'd create a McChinese buffet with no standards except "fully cook the chicken, and use the fridge at night instead of leaving it out on the floor." Lardos can stuff their boxes as much as they want for $20.

>>16708516
I went to two different mcdonalds and neither one has been selling salads in years. Maybe I just got the one psychopath cashier that is lying to me I dunno.

>>16708530
Or maybe their website is wrong.
They claim they sell bananas, "pineapple stick", and Chicken McNuggets as salads?

>>16706716
Add a McBuffet to every single McDonalds, all you can eat.

>>16708516
>UAE menu
Neat.

>>16706716
Import some Briish cuisine with the McMunchyBox. A regular is 6 McNuggets, 1 large McFries, 6 McOnion Rings, 3 McMighty Wings, a personal McPizza, a McDonerwrap, and 4 sauces. A large doubles the chicken/fries/rings/sauce and adds 6 strips of McKebab beef and some McNaan. Get the large McMunchyBox With McDesert and a divider is added to fit your 2 McChurros, 3 McFairyBreads, and deep fried McMarsbar.

>>16707704
this.

>>16706716
allow former employees to cook their own food whenever they come in to eat

As CEO, I would mandate vaccines.
But not the fake covid one.

introduce a system where you can bring in your own food, and we'll cook it (for a price)
also remove all menu items except for quarter pounders, mcchickens, and fries
also expand the range of pies to include blueberry, cherry, raspberry, pumpkin (not just a seasonal thing either), custard, and chocolate. and create a peach pie that btfos jollibee

I'd just bring back ronald mcdonalds from oblivion.

>>16706716
>what the restaurant produces

BOOOORING. Wouldn't change a thing. Maybe see if we could push out a new sauce or something. I'd get the sauce included in a scene in the next Disney movie and I'd hire a bunch of twitter clowns to talk about it, boom instant sales growth. That'd maybe take a few phone calls so the rest of my time as CEO, I would focus nearly all my efforts into solidifying corporate domination over all locations and supply chains, squelch any hint of factioning brewing within the company and ensure 100% global brand projection up to and including sabotaging growth efforts of my competitors using any means necessary.

>>16706716
make vaccine burgers

i went to get breakfast but they were serving lunch so i got a burger instead, it was mediocre

>>16706716
A new dollar menu item

>>16709131
Like what? Kebab?

>>16706716
No niggers allowed

>>16706716
I don't touch shit they seem to have a good thing going, maybe push some animay promotions to bring in the weebs and also selfishly promote my favorite shows

>Diversify holdings into aerospace and defense
>Organize private militia
>Overthrow US government and institute corporate reich
>Gas da joos

>>16706716
Put fruit back in the milkshakes

>>16706716
Finally fix the ice cream machine.

>>16707922
They are still fried out here in Hawaii. We also have exclusive flavors too.

Get icelandic horse meat. Shits delicious.

>>16709443
>coconut
>exotic

all joking aside I'd blow a horse to get my hands on a haupia anything. I miss living in Hawaii so fucking much.

Bring back the McSalad Shaker.

>ctrl F "hab"
>0 results found

I'd bring back the Habanero ranch sauce as well as coke zero.

>>16706716
Start a PMC branch of the corperation.
Unironic McSoldiers

bring back pizza, being back the tiny cocaine spoons, being back beef tallow, raise wages

Make the Big Tasty a permanent option
Try out more and better promo items, get more experimental with those things
Make the McRib come back to the UK
Fillet-O-Fish LL
Bring back the spicy ketchup that came with the spicy nugs.
Bring back Big Breakfast

>>16709554
Things aren't going too good out here. They still have a bunch of restrictions, implemented vax mandates, and businesses are closing left and right. All those local places you used to enjoy were probably demolished in order to build luxury condos for the Chinese to park their money.

>>16706716
Remember that international menu limited time thing they did? Bring it back every 4 months or so.
Also bring back the chicken mcbites.

Rename the big Mac to the beef sandwich so Americans think it's healthier (like they did with the mcchicken)

>>16706716
Allow people to order a burger 24hrs a day and not have to wait until the "breakfast menu" is over.

All kitchens are equipped with a femboy slave who cums in every meal.

do a limited run of an international exchange menu where you temporarily bring in region unique mcdonalds menu items from around the world to different locations

>>16706716
Every item that starts with mc is replaced by nig

>can I get a 10 piece nig-nuggets, and a nig-double?

>>16706716
Create a company-wide policy banning negroes and Irish from entering the premises of the restaurants.

>>16706716
Make franchisees install narrow doors so that fatties couldn't enter. Make cashiers shame and laugh at fat people who could enter. If your order exceeds 15 dollars you get a signed letter from me calling you a landwhale. Ban sugar in food entirely and get every item that is over 500 kcal off the menu.

Shut the whole thing down. Just liquidate it. Cancer on humanity and the planet.
If I feel like it I'll distribute some of the profits of its destruction to the workers. As long as I have enough to live somewhat comfortably for the rest of my days(:

>>16710674
>Create a company-wide policy banning negroes
Kek. Then the company will lose a massive amount of business. McDonalds is their food of choice

>>16706716
bring back the McSpaghetti

>>16710694
remove all spicy menu items and the whites will come

>>16706724
>>>/lit/

>>16706716
I introduce a dinner menu. It's not actually anything special but we charge an extra 20% for it anyway.

>>16708436
This but also expand the value menu
>Jalapeno poppers
>Cheese sticks
>Fried pretzels and queso
>Chicken tenders
>Corn dog
>Buffalo mcchickens
>Those little 99¢ burgers they had like the BBQ ranch and spicy jalapeno
>All the original snack wraps + some new ones
> 99¢ mcbeer's
>Bring back the southern chicken sandwich and market it as the obvious chick fila knock off that it was


Right here these ideas between our 2 posts would make this company more money then they'd seen in years.

>>16706974
Based. Fry everything in tallow.

>>16706716
bring back dark meat in mcnuggets, and fries in beef fat

>>16706716
Market towards children again. Fuck the lawsuits.

Sell exclusively McChicken, Beverages are all McChicken sauce on tap, no ice of course

>>16707779
Instead of frying them i'd boil them

I'd find a way to replicate the Popeyes spicy chicken sandwich, then sell it for 2.99

>>16706716
Cum

bring melon fanta from japan(extra cost) and germans rosti to every restaurant, resize all meals to match american sizes, give users ability to vote on next seasonal burger, reintroduce forbidden double meat QB with meat and chicken QB sized patties

>>16711389
I didn't know a person with ideas so evil could exist.

>>16706716
Literally revert to menu 1994, problems sloved

>>16706716
bring back super size and tell fat people to cram it up their ass

>>16711389
Why not Steam them?

>>16711587
I'm not at all against this, if they're going to become balloons then give them the tools to pop.

>>16706716
Bring back Ronald and also revert the architecture back to how it should be.

>>16706948
Warren buffet eats maccas every day retard

>>16706716
Invest in the arms trade by making McDonald's branded AK's.

>>16706716
make the little salt and pepper packets cost money.

Bring back the McDLT.
Only this time put the cheese on the hot side and redesign the container out of recycled cardboard instead of Styrofoam.

>>16711802
>reddit filename
>reddit opinion about styrafoam containers
Cardboard won't keep the hot side hot and the cool side cool.

>>16711814
As long as you keep the hot and cold sides isolated and use sufficiently robust cardboard (think pizza boxes), entropy should be discouraged until you're ready to eat.

>>16706769
Would be an interesting strategy to have a fast food place that sells a bunch of cheap shit, but then some actual quality products that are priced accordingly.

>>16711833
Why not just use styrafoam? It's perfectly recyclable and compliance with recycling initiatives is higher than ever now.

>>16706716
burger bar in every restaurant

Bring back Ronald get rid of the stupid soulless coffee house restaurant layout and stop trying so hard to get blacks to come in and eat

We got spaghetti
And blankets

>>16706716
bring back the lobster roll

>>16706716
*farts loudly* *tanks the industry*

>>16706716
i do nothing new
in fact i step down as ceo after getting a giant bonus and retirement package that sets me up for life
thanks for the scenario bitch im rich now

>>16706716
Bring back the steak, egg, cheese bagel. Make it available all day, and two for $3

>>16706716
every 300th burger is now lethally poisoned

>>16706716
make breakfast end 10 minutes earlier than advertised

>>16706716
which mcdonalds? the real estate company or the restaurant chain?

>>16711192
you basically want to turn mcdonalds into chili's

White men in suits rough fucking big bubble butt black men. I want a little goblina at every register and behind her just a rotisserie cacophony of thrusting and moaning with ecstasy that the customer pays to cum to, with a side of honey mustard as well.

>>16706716
>rick and morty promotions 24/7/365
>Long McDonalds Corporation
>McCrypto
>happy meal NFTs
>solar freakin drive-thrus
>rebrand drive-thru as Full Self Delivering and add a service charge
>start installing microchips in the mcribs for bbqlink technology

Bring back the supersize and in it's honor, there'll be a new sandwich called the McSpurlock, which will be a turd served on a stale big mac bun served with skunked Budweiser, since he was an alcoholic during supersize me.

Also, the burger patties will be increased in size.

Police eat free, leftists pay double. Introduce the Biden Burger, which is shriveled lettuce on a stale bun and the box says "Most Popular Burger in History" on it.

>>16706716
I take decision that makes profit sore in the short-term, but harm the company in the long term. So you know, typical CEO stuff.

Well I'm McDonald's UK, so hear a lad out:
Chicken Tikka Wrap, because why the fuck is that not a standard flavour
Automatic £1 pay rise at minimum each year up to the max range of your role
All crew heading into management must complete 2 full work weeks on Delivery Team and must be able to put together 2-3 days of successful ordering
Beer and original recipe Irn Bru at all locations
Minimum of two bouncers at each location
Munchy Box
Tighter trousers on the Staff
One large telly for the football at each location

>>16714385
>rebrand drive-thru as Full Self Delivering and add a service charge
Based. That's why this guy climbed to the rank of CEO.

>>16717304
the ambitions of england everyone....

>>16706716
double everything.

>>16706716
Banning the hiring of blacks would produce the biggest increase in quality

>>16706716
Nothing. The focus of our company has always been real estate.

>>16718059
You'd lose so much of the workforce that you'd go out of business.

I'd do nothing. I just collect my $10mil salary and then quit after a year.

>Make the Homestyle burger an international item, including its variants
seriously the Tokyo Teriyaki homestyle is the greatest item they have introduced in decades, i pity the shtiholes that dont have homestyles on the menu
>permanently bring the McRib back so the UOOOOH LE MCRIB IS BACK meme finally fucking dies
>remove the middle bun from the Big Mac
>mandate the sale of beer internationally

>inb4 "whats a homestyle"

>>16718178
The McRib started as a permanent menu item but was removed after like 4 years because of low sales. It wasn't until they brought it back for a limited time that anyone actually bought it.

>>16717304
Kill yourself

>>16706722
This

Just relax on some other dipshits work
Occasionally ask for a mc rib out of season, just for myself

>>16711223
This. Predjudcially and aggressively

>>16706716
Lobby the shit out of congress to send back the boys in Afghanistan and start wars with every country that refuse to construct Mcdies.

>>16706722
pretty much this. It's bad for business throwing the company in a whole other direction if business is good.

>Bring back old favorites like McPizza, Arch deluxe, McDLT, Cookies, Orange Drink
>Ariana Grande, Weeknd and Doja Cat meal promotions
>New menu item: McChicken Big Mac

Form an internal hit team and mandate reporting employees who don't clean the fucking ice cream machine for termination.

>>16718372
You may find this little investigation interesting: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrDEtSlqJC4

>>16711877
not him but people are bitches about this stuff
we moved into a new office that sorts trash from recycles, people threw a fucking fit until they switched all the cans to have two holes, one that says recycling
they both empty into the same place but it shut everyone up

>>16718346
chicken and big mac sauce is a pretty shit combo sadly
a double stack mchicken of some kind would be great though

>>16718412
I think a mcchicken big mac would just change the sauce to mc chicken sauce but have the same ingredients

#1
All female employees between the ages of 18 and 40, and under 160 lbs, must be topless at all times

#2
All male employees must wear big cool black sunglasses at all times and must geet every customer by saying "sup baby" regardless of gender

#3
No children allowed

#4
Beers are now served on tap. Any beers served must be from local breweries.

#5
Between the hours of 11pm and 4am. All lights will be switched over to blacklights, and music will be switched to ambient black metal, or synthwave.

#6
Ensure the shake machines always work. If at any time a shake machine is down for more than one hour all employees will be doused in mustard.

>>16718421
fair point.
the chicken salsa sauce would also be a good bet.

>>16718412
>>16718421
We had those in Australia.

https://www.triplem.com.au/story/maccas-has-brought-back-the-chicken-big-mac-75780

Sadly it's been taken back out. Maccas here has had consistent problems pricing that chicken patty properly. Pretty much every item with it except the McChicken hass had constant price changes or menu changes.

>>16718441
how were they?

>>16718383
Oh, so it's racketeering.

Then send the hit squad to deal with Taylor and everyone else involved in this bullshit.

>>16718441
It actually looks really delicious

>>16718178
>this is what foreign McDicks do
what the fuck

>>16718467
seriously what the FUCK

>>16718441
>>16718462
It's a standard item in India, alongside a version that uses cheese and corn croquettes instead of patties.

>>16718446
I think >>16718412 is quite right, the big mac sauce doesn't work that well with the chicken. It still tasted good (McDonalds good).

My personal preference would be to just order the double McChicken (McChicken with two patties in it)

>>16718462
>>16718481
i am positively livid
why does foreign McD get all the good shit

>>16718489
I mean, in India it's due to religious dietary restrictions.

>>16718489
As far as Australia goes, apparently enough people were custom ordering a big mac with chicken patties that corporate caught on.

>>16718489
Because people are less likely to visit fast food outside the US and it's more expensive there, so they have to actually put in effort to compete and draw people in.

>>16718481
>corn and cheese croquette
doesnt sound too bad

>>16706716
Bring back the steak egg and chesse bagel

>>16706716
McDonalds would now have the position of manager be rotated between employees so they can share their ideas on improving the workplace for all. and no more red and yellow. it’s now just blue, purple, and white in a retro style. improve the ice cream machines. partner with Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream. give all leftover food to be thrown out to those who might need it like the homeless. change the mascot, no more ronald. he’s been MIA for too long. make grimace the new mascot with his trans male best friend the hamburglar. all the workers have retro styled fashion for maximum drip. but also give it a chill vibe where people can hang out. Mcdonald’s is now a Cafe. serves godtier caffeinated beverages and has a more cute female tomboy chubby version of grimace. this is only the start

I would refuse service to black people.

>>16718817
>cute female tomboy chubby
nice

>>16718824
I'll still sell them a burger tho

>>16710694
This will starve blacks into extinction, it’s a good thing.

>>16706716
I would make fun of the customers.

>>16718489
McDonalds makes a point of having its menus consistent within each of its regional markets. The problem here is that the continental US is an absolutely massive market, so for every promotion they roll out they have to do a fucktonne of planning to make sure it's available from coast-to-coast in every single restaurant. They have to trim down the regular menu as well to ensure that everyone is getting access to the exact same things.
There's a few regional exceptions, like they usually test new products in a few specific Illinois restaurants. Hawaii is considered its own unique market and has its own special menu. Etc.

In smaller markets and smaller countries, it's much easier for them to have promotional or special items. In Canada, they were able to have the McLobster nationwide a few times just because there's far fewer restaurants to source and ship out the lobster chunks for. Now imagine them trying to do that in every single McDonalds in every single state.

>>16706716
Find the seediest looking accountant and ask him if he wants to be set for life. Move to Argentina, grow out my hair, and disappear for life with a hot Latina

>>16706722
>>16718244
>>16718331
Yup, this. These are precision engineered products with over a half century of innovation of scientists working endlessly to create the most addictive substances possible. They not only have this formula right, they defined the entire business of fast food and have a school based on teaching its principles.

>>16718467
>>16718473
what country?

>>16706716
I am turning this shit into a hot-dog joint and they will pay me ridiculous money until they get so buttmad they fire me with package worth a year of my salary. And I destroy the stupid burger Mcrap in one shot. Sign me in.

>>16706716
pare the menu down ruthlessly
ONLY cheeseburgers, chicken nuggets, fries, and coke

>>16718887
Denmark.

>>16716374
Based, the only sensible answer in this thread

>>16719033
but why, those look unironically interesting, artisanal even

>>16706716
Fried apple pies and year round mcrib

>>16718426
sharezone got so bad when dogboner left. now it's just Tumblr tier "Le epic skeleton" randumbness

filet o fish and the mcchicken the only menu options

no ice cream, but bring back the N64 kiosks. ban blacks and mexicans from touching them.

>form coalition with KFC, Jack in the Box, and Taco Bell to bring down Burger King
>betray allied restaurants once BK is defeated or submits to being bought out

form paramilitaries to sabotage burger king

Make dem wyts handle spice with the Mcspicy but fix the ice cream machines as a emergency tool

Free mcchickens for everyone.

For me it's the McChicken

>>16706724
I fucking hate okra

>>16718885
/Thread

Remove the regular cheeseburgers and everything that uses the same patty like the McDouble. Everything now uses the quarterpounder patty by default.

Add chicken wings fried in the same batter as mcnuggets.

Literally just add onion rings to the menu, that's it.
Why doesn't mcdonalds have onion rings?

>>16706792
there was a mentally retarded indian kid at my school who couldnt say anything except for chicken burger

>>16721680
Fuck off no there wasn't

>>16721686
there was and he wouldnt stop fucking saying it

>>16706716
switch every instance of vegetable oil on all recipes to lard or beef tallow
no soy filling on patties
switch to "proper" bread rolls like subway's
better mayo, the current is fucking shit
cut the sugar in ketchup in half
ice cream has to be 100% dairy and half the sugar as well
switch iceberg lettuce for any other maybe romaine
only 3 beverages are water, beer and fruit juice, no more soda
no more fried pies, only baked
no more toys on happy meal
switch to a lighter roast coffee, served at drinking temperature
increase the minimum wage to living standards
only 18+ with a clean crime record can apply for jobs
ice cream machines always working
every restaurant needs a tall staircase before the entrance to block fatties out

>>16706716
Raise wages and add benefits so there will be enough incentive to have more workers so it can be open 24/7 again

I'm sick of having to get food at the gas station at 3 in the morning because 24/7 fast food doesn't exist anymore

>>16706722
>I would have scores of researchers and marketing execs beneath me

People like the OP doing market research on Latvian goat herding forums.

>>16706716
put a sign on the drive thru saying "WE ALL QUIT GAYSEX BLM 420" and then watch the angry customers drive past in disgust while i eat free french fries for $15 an hour because "le labor shortage" and eventually get covid and die

>>16706716
retire.

>>16722092
Congratulation, you're bankrupt.

>>16721680
lmao

>>16722570
good, crashing mcdonalds with no survivors

>>16707883
Are these McKosher though?

>>16709395
McReich

UK MENU
mcgriddle perma
homestyle crispy chicken perma
all day breakfast
mc rib comes sometimes.
idk.

>>16711718
Bring back the architecture, but not the playpens or ball pits those just aren't good ideas with the current demographics.

>>16721680
Apparently he's a regular here on /ck/.

>>16706733
The Jeffrey Epstein Meal

>>16716374
>he’s still coping
7 more years

>>16718426
We’re trying to make McDonald’s more profitable, not turn it into a gay bar

>>16722092
>only three beverages water coffee and juice
How can you have a lighter roast coffee
coffee wasn’t one of your three beverages retard
Also McDonald’s haven’t fried their pies since the 90s

>>16721673
they added them here a few weeks ago for a trial.
theyre shit, even BKs onion rings are better

>>16706716
Shut down the entire company. You're welcome.

>>16706716
Slide my dick into all the McChickens