/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>16681237
Is there something wrong with his right hand?

Almost Halloween.

>>16681273
it stopped working after his second stroke

>>16681287
and now that sausage is dry like beef jerky

>>16681287
that seems like it would just spook the heck out of your asshole when you cram it up there

>>16681297
Imagine being two faps in when your arm just gives up on you like a disappointed parent having their kid repeating the 5th grade for the 2nd time

>>16681700
>colored hands
>those finger nails

Fucking disgusting whore.

>>16681444
Kek anon takes mummy dicks

>>16681197

>>16681444
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWDTdXH6oF0&t=299s&ab_channel=wickydkewl

>>16681281
who tf eats from tins lmao poorfag

>>16681780
>bite into it
>stuffing squirts out from other side on your carpet

>>16681791
people who want some Bush's baked beans.

>>16681197
wasted apples

>>16681791
Nobody if this retard is opening them.

>>16681296
what the fuck

>>16682170
to slováci opravdu...?

>>16681780
>whipped cream on a filled hot dog
You just know some gay motherfucker or 40 year old single fat woman made this recipe.

>>16682239
half of the food you'll see on social media is just for entertainment and not really intended to be eaten

best on the market by far, don't even respond if you haven't had one

>>16681287
Am I the only one incredibly annoyed by the helicopter mom who feels the need film her kid doing the wrapping but then can't let the kid actually do it? And then instead of letting the kid brush the weiners with egg she does it instead. Such half assed parenting.

>>16681287
weiners in a blankie

Bumping

>>16681444
LMFAO

>>16682442
Eh, she's working not playing, if it were like this at home with all the time in the world, that's shitty, but she needs instagrammable results and not the naturally misshapen wrap the kid would have produced.

>>16682321
Sweetangos are good if you want a perfectly ordinary apple with solid crispiness, solid crispiness, solid juiciness, and nothing more. Opals are way better though for something in the general sweet category, and as someone that prefers tartness, Mcintoshes are the best.

>>16681197
Club soda should be added to the drinker's taste separate to the mixture

>>16681237
Ah ah ah, it's keto ;-)

>>16681292
Imagine paying 5000$ for an apple kek

>>16684984
Unglaublich!
Tun die Amerikaner das wirklich?!

>>16684981
>>16684984
We've already proved that they aren't American.

>>16681197
pears>>>>>>>>>>>>>>shit>apples

>>16681197
It’s spring again.

>>16681281
what disability does this guy have

>>16681281
this one of the kids who would fail at putting the monkey statue together

>>16683468
also, maybe the kid asked her for help?

>>16684011
>cooked to 150F
won't the dark meat still be pretty chewy?

>>16681281
: |

>>16682170
Tampons?

>>16684103
Oh, and also solid crispiness.

>>16681281
Is this actually a common problem?
https://youtu.be/TGwW5oH8dz4

>>16684997
This guy should not be wearing a synthetic fiber jacket.

>>16685296
Well fuck, now I want a pizza. Screw you anon

>>16685062
Why do Indians love the poo colour so much, they artificially introduce it in their videos? I've had pav bhaji, and the sloppa was red, not brown. It did taste good though, even if it is a really basic recipe. Might have something to do with the billion tons of butter in it, which is odd for a race that is mostly lactose intolerant.

>>16685384
Why would indians be lactose intolerant? They rely on milk and dairy so much they worship cows

>>16681292
>that'll be $50 + tip

>>16681281
Gen Z are the perfect consumer slaves. They are utterly helpless and entirely dependant on delivery food services to eat, they worship corporate branding as a central part of their identity, and they hold a vast, ingrained preference for gimmick and novelty over quality, which is something we can see from McDonald's rehashing their exact same menu items over and over with one or or two things changed, bam now it's the 'Saweetie Meal' now we're 'Behind the Scenes' with these new sauces with Chinese moon runes on them. I weep for them.

>>16685062
>a great hamburger
>that fucking sloppa
lying cunt

>>16685062
I really want me some Pav bhaji now.

>>16685296

>>16685392
I wouldn't be surprised if it's more than 50 actually.

>>16682239
It's not a real, as in meant to be eaten, recipe. The closing title card even says not to make it.

>>16685426
>3 packs of Velveeta
Lmao no wonder niggers are so obese

>>16681281
This is a sign of negligent parents more than stupidity. I was shown how to use a can opener at like age 5. It's obvious here that for at least 16 years of this lad's life no one bothered to show him.

>>16681281
Whoa whoa, you can't let a kid try to work out how to use a can opener, you'll get cancelled and dropped from all your podcasts.

>>16681789
what the fuck

>>16685426
>Obey
Do nogs really think Old Bay is called "Obey" or is this a joke?

>>16686059
It has to be a joke. "Old Bay" isn't hard to say.

>>16681296
those ants give a zingy citrus flavor to it. not even kidding.

>>16682140
why? is it only for attention?

>>16686214
He used to be a professional eater, but retired and now does chugging challenges on Youtube. It's a living.

>>16681296
I like how this webm caused me to say "fuck you" out loud as an automatic reaction to such pretentiousness.

>>16685013
Yeah, but this poster is has no life and posting these same webms in every thread is his only purpose.
Be kind. He has nothing else going for him in life.

>>16686251

>>16685296
definitely burned on the inside and uncooked on the inside

>>16686059
They literally can't read, functional illiteracy is found in the majority of the black population

>>16681509

>>16686258
You should try making a yeasted flatbread, it really does take two minutes to cook.

>>16686258
How hot do you think that oven is?

>>16685064
Boomer parents.

>>16681281
>:(

>>16686265
borgir

>>16686246
oh

>>16681281
Normal people use one of these.

>>16686251
nigga what the fuck is wrong with these people

>>16681300
>sausage
that's a hot dog anon

>>16685384
>dairy in indian food is odd
kek you have absolutely no idea what you are talking about

>>16681281
He's trying one method after another, and will eventually figure out how to do it. Meanwhile, old people, when faced with unfamiliar technology, immediately say "I don't know how" or "I'm not a technology person" and get someone to do it for them. The sentence "just look it up" or "just try clicking buttons until it works" doesn't make any sense to them; knowledge is something you either have or don't have.

>>16682140
> das boot
Kek.

>>16687360
He's tough.

>>16682170
This is just a parody, right?

>>16681281
>the child you are raising has not been exposed to can openers before puberty
>it's his fault

>>16685062
> Okay food journalist, what's your opinion of this dish?
> It's tasty, like a hamburger is.
> Can you elaborate? I mean, what's the dish like?
> Um, it's like bubble and squeak, but foreign.
I don't even need sound to know that this is a British show.

>>16687353
>"I'm not a technology person"
I work technical service, and I hate this phrase more than anything else in the world. Inevitably, whenever anyone calls and says this, they're 70 years old and have no idea what Bluetooth is or why their new headphones don't magically connect to their phone when you turn them on.

>>16681296
those ants taste like lemon

>>16682321
>tfw only learned how to eat apples last week
Pink lady favourite so far. Have tried jazz and red delicious too.

>>16687353
>>16687406
To be fair, physical tools tend to have some indication of their purpose. Software meanwhile is plagued by "UX" "Experts".

>>16685013
no shit sherlock. that woman is far too skinny to be americ*n

>>16686253
is this the woman who had the octopus implant eggs in her face? i remember reading about that a few years ago

>>16687597

>>16687540
>To be fair, physical tools tend to have some indication of their purpose. Software meanwhile is plagued by "UX" "Experts".
No, not "to be fair." Modern user interfaces are super simple, and even if they're not, you can google just about anything these days. That's the real difference between boomers and everyone else: Everybody else googles their questions, while Boomers call IT/the library/their kids and force them to help instead because they can't be assed to find the answer themselves.

Someone post the Egg Vendor webm

>>16687273
I have soy wrists, those things hurt my hands

>>16689116
That doesn't look bad

>>16687365
ok zoomer

>>16686258
I've had pizzas cooked quicker than that webm from pizza places in Italy. Those ovens are ridiculously hot and the stone underneath doesn't lose its temp.

>>16689220
this would either clear your sinuses or make your eyes explode

>>16681700
>>16681447
these stupid fucking tasty webms are always the fucking same

>take meat, cheese and random shit
>wrap it in dough
>bake 20 minutes
>if we havent included marinara sauce yet, dip it in now

>>16689294
What do you expect? They're content aggregators. But they make HUGE money on it, so it's obviously only growing.

>>16685384
Butter has almost no lactose in it. Yogurt has about half as much lactose as fresh milk while also containing bacteria which helps digest it. Lactose intolerance is only really an issue if you're consuming a lot of fresh milk/cream or fresh soft cheese.

>>16689617
I unironically love herbal soups and was just looking at the herbs last weekend. Thank you anon.

>>16689075
it actually looks like someone puked on the food

>>16689138
yeah it looks awful

>>16689104
>>16689111
>>16689116
https://youtu.be/Ds14zhfHEvE

>>16685062
>onions always red
>unless anyone knows better

>>16686246

>>16689116
someone needs to clip this together so it looks like gordon ramsay made it

>>16689075
>starch served in starch
do euroweenies really.....?

>>16681281
>generation Z
>dude clearly in his 20s
????

>>16690691
zoomers are 21 now

>>16689878
Yeah I had no idea, apparently Indians consume copious amounts of fresh milk, cream, cottage cheese (paneer) and yoghurt every day.

>>16689075
>when you're 1/119 italian

>>16681717
What is halloween?

>>16681241
What's the wet green stuff?

>>16681700
Nice try reptilian.

>>16687406
>they're 70 years old and have no idea what Bluetooth is

Why would they spend their last years learning about some nerd bullshit?

>>16689617
that looks horrendous, nothing green, nothing browned

>>16690827
I watched his India trip not long ago, I like his shows.

>>16681237
>have two strokes
>keep eating like a mongrel
This man has an offspring.
Yes, there's someone out there for all of you, if you just look. But more importantly, we're fucking doomed.

>>16681292
>>16681296
Don't shit on the chefs for making money.
Shit on the well-off cucks that create these markets.

>>16681237
You know what they say: third time's a charm. Jack is clearly tired of being alive and is trying to suicide by food.

>>16681700
Saved.

>>16686258
learn to shut the fuck up when you dont know what youre talking about

>>16690656
That's from a Las Vegas restaurant buddy

>>16681296
>A little autumn platter
>or you could call it a winter platter

Well which one is it you insufferable Grant Achatz knock off?!

>>16682239
Kek, gay people don't eat food like that. Someone's hetero aunt who watches Big Mouth and posts minion pictures on her Facebook made that

>>16691025
Multiple offsprings.

>>16691278
soy jack on 0:18

>It's Fall, y'all.

>>16690889
>Why would they spend their last years learning about some nerd bullshit?
I don't know, but obviously they need to know it right now

>>16690827
Damn this looks good. Could you do this with scrambled eggs instead of boiled?

>>16681789
Well getting fucked in the ass by a big nigger with aids was my million dollars idea

>>16690656
of course they do, the chip butty exists

>>16681287
based/wholepilled

>>16691853
wtf la beast.....

>>16689220
thats actually healthy as fuck, I do a less meme version of it
on dry stomach after waking up
it clears anything in your body
I use 80% alcohol with it tho

>>16692200
yeah just add them later

>>16682170
I love this just because I love thinking about how many italians seethed at this

>>16686059
No idea don't speak to them

>>16689111
aye carumba

>>16690824
Imagine putting your dick through that

>>16685799
incels can't stop themselves from raging at women even when the video tells them it's a joke. very pathetic.

>>16686265
Boss

>>16692366
>wtf la beast.....
You see him eating cacti/shit so spicy he throws up and has diarrhea for days and are surprised when he's eating butter sticks?

>>16686251
>her face when the feet start moving
priceless

>>16687365
>spends the whole day doing zoomershit
>"Waaahhh, it's my parents fault that I don't know anything"
if that helps you sleep at night, bro, then sure, but don't go spouting that nonsense everywhere

>>16681281
I still can't believe this fucking happened.

>>16694444
based digits

>>16691278
That's jack jr's wife

>>16690827
What oil does he add in the beginning?

>>16694444

Oh noooo daddy is teaching me to take care of myself with realistic consequences for the inability to give myself basic needs.

Good lord, I was cooking myself toasted cheese at that age.

>>16691043

This kind of shit infuriates me. Not because of the chef, because they're simply milking the money from retards. How absolutely sheltered and elitist to you have to be to think that eating leaves on a plate is a cultured experience? It's beyond stupid and is akin to eating at a really touristy spot in a foreign country and saying to yourself "I'm so cultured, this is what the people here eat."

I fucking hate the rich and their ignorant crapulence.

>>16694568
CPS got sent round to him for it too.

>>16694558
Pls respond

>>16694365
So when the goldfish goes belly-up and starts floating towards the top, does it enter the oil strata and cook itself? Also, how much extra is that?

>>16694558
Could be ghee in that heat, but you can just use a neutral vegetable oil.

>>16694658
Hm. Might go with Ghee, just for shits (lel) and giggles of being authentic.

>>16694662
Here's the recipe https://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/whole_eggs_in_coconut_23624

>>16687352
Thank God because that would make me a disgusting subhuman shitskindian like you

>>16694670
Oh awesome! Thanks dude!

>>16686258
Stop talking shit just to be able to complain if you don't know what the fuck you're on about, faggot.

>>16686220
>a professional eater
lmao fucking americans

>>16693301
there is something strangely jack-like about this webm, the way he shows the meat off after he cuts it, the way one of his arms hangs down lifelessly as he slices the meat, and how he moves slowly enough that you might think he's had a stroke

>>16684231
>This kills the Italian

>>16689104
>Americans boil their water in a microwave

I still find this funny,

>>16691144
I like to call it-the leaf blower plate-myself

>>16686246
i don't which is worse, the chong eating the live babies, or that attempt at garnish.

>>16692361
Still one of the funniest edited webms ever

>>16694568
So you had a shit youth and everyone else has to suffer? This is why everyone on this site is a subhuman waste of neurons.

>>16695469
if you're too dumb to open a can in any way , you deserve to starve

>>16686220
>professional eater
muh freedoms

>>16689116
way too much bread

>>16691278
What the fuck his daughter looks like haylee from Modern Family

>>16695997
>the forbidden cheese

>>16687961
During the pandemic, I found that it was the 80 year old women who wanted to keep having their coffee club who figured out the technology the fastest. I used to work for an IT department that was utterly hopeless when it came to learning how to use zoom.

Zoomers are the dumbest when it comes to understanding how modern technology works. They may understand how to do a few things, but they're completely useless when it comes to using technology for something other than tiktok.

>>16695986
Maybe in their dreams

>>16693301
someday I will buy one of those hams and eat it in big fucking bites

>>16695704
In your home country of Commistan, you have to stand in line to receive the precise number of calories that the government have determined are required for you to live and perform your government assigned work. That sounds like it sucks, but you don't have to be stupid enough to think that's a superior system.

>>16685317
165 is the recommended temperature for poultry. You might notice the chewy meat, but then the salmonella will kick in.

>>16689104
>>16689111
why are americans trying to steal mexican jail food culture?

>>16696034
Low quality bait, mate.
Imagine destroying your body by junk food in country with no free healthcare. That's literally "loaning from future me" move.

>>16689104
This is an adaptation of prison food. That's all stuff that you can get from the commissary and cook in your cell. It makes sense that a nigger would be familiar with it.

>>16689116
There's no way that's american. We're not stupid enough to eat canned beans with breakfast. There's tomato in there too, which means it's english.

>>16695342
i thought that was a brit thing

>>16696056
>free
Seethe on poorfag. I make more than you'll ever dream of, and my healthcare costs are still pretty insignificant.

>>16696092
Good to be you then, your income is not dependent on eating stuff that killing you ironically.

>>16693301
I thought this was Jack

>>16696092
Lmao burger. Not only are you living in the proverbial "interesting times", you are living in the most """interesting""" place, too.
You won't want to buy your way out of the prison, until they take away your right to do so. And then you Will want to escape.
And won't be able to.

>>16696014
Yeah, there was a generation that had both worlds. Technology was a little intimidating, it didn't come off as user-friendly, it was meant for work.
I think it was Windows XP with its bubbly shell design where things started getting too simple, the precursor to all of our tap touch Tech
If you cared to learn, you were going to learn it

>>16687604
what happened next? did she ded?

>>16696014
>>16696233
It happens with all technologies, there are only really a couple generations that understand how the thing works, then everything gets refined and obfuscated to the point of magic. It's hilarious that people think kids are "digital natives" now, when they're growing up with nothing but walled off social media apps. People used to know how to service their own cars, but no one with a modern car could be seen as an "automotive native".

butter the toast

>>16685068
Based Legends of the Hidden Temple viewer
i miss being a child in the 90's

>>16696078
Boiling water in a microwave is extremely weird in bongland.
We all have electric kettles for this purpose only.

>>16693301
capicola

>>16695986
Daughter in Law, that's is one of his son's wife.

>>16696380
I can bring a cup of water to a rolling boil from room temp in 1:30. How quick is your kettle

>>16697490
Probably much faster cause the outlet voltage is almost double what america is.

Literally the onky good thing about living in earrape

>>16684231
disgusting.

>>16684996
>>16694602
This is just one course on a presumably 10+ course meal plus wine. Ues you spend alot but youre not "only" eating what you see, and no you dont eat the leaves.

>>16695997
Ive never been so upset at a steak before

>>16696311
its gotta be some kinda sweet bread, like a hawaiian roll, right?

>>16690827
Ive made this before, its a good recipe and I like most of this guys cooking travels.

>>16696311
Ive been meaning to try this, is it actually good?

>>16682232
Ani papež je nezachrání

Was high on caffeine already?

>>16689104
Hey I know this guy from real world police, he got arrested again for being in possession of another stolen Glock.

>>16686265
American circus performance

>>16689099
This but into my mouth

>>16682232
>>16685366
>>16687364
>>16682170
Not a fucking thing and never will be.
This is vomit from clickbait noizzfood which reports to ringer axiel springer which is from Switzerland and Germany.
Poor attempt to shill American garbage food videos to zoomers.
If I am ashamed than it would be way we murdered beef and turned it into shoe sole when making steak.

>>16697853
Why?>>16697887

>>16690827
looks comfy and tasty

>>16696233
All GUIs made it too simple. Too many fuckers using Windows 3.1 didn't even know how to edit autoexec.bat

>>16692361
>Wensleydale at :12

>>16697974
Why? Because my local Japanese shop sells it. I don't believe its a sweet bread

>>16694568
He didn't teach her, that's the thing, he just told her to do it and that she couldn't eat until she did it

>>16698072
I'm sure there's context missing but the article doesn't really go into detail, at least not in the pic but I find it hilarious that they refer to him as "bean dad"

>>16682442
I thought it was supposed to imply the cook was a four armed monster

>>16685406
>Laneock Football

this thread's not altogether as cumpfy as I'd hoped :[

>>16685406
>Lamecock Football

>>16681281

>>16684231
Hammond! you blithering idiot!

>>16697490
It can boil a litre of water in two minutes, so presumably much quicker for just a cup.

>>16697887
You'll have to try it and report back, I just came across the ad and thought it was interesting to see five massive slices of bread being sold alone.

>>16684159
>>16681237
>keto
not with all that sugary sauce he smothers it in

>>16697887
no
nip bread is full of sugar and tastes like shit

>>16698311
>keto
Yes, a fine specimen to showcase the keto diet
*clap* *clap*

>>16696041
Don't listen to this retard, I've been eating chicken cooked to 145 for years and nothing bad has happened.

>>16681197
Yum *sips*

>>16689082
You'd love using one of these then.

>>16685426
There's such a thing as too much seasoning.

>>16685406
f

>>16695342
It's quicker. Tell me why this is a bad thing.

>>16681281
jesus, he is retarded

>>16698683
Europoors don't have enough room in their tiny comblock kitchens for a microwave.

>>16698785
>make burger
>drench the entire thing in fucking sauce

The entire point of a goddamn sandwich, burgers included, is that you can eat your entire meal in one package WITHOUT GETTING YOUR FUCKING HANDS DIRTY.

>>16684011
disgusting :D

>>16698785
For fuck's sake.

>>16698785
Fucking euro trash and their food

>>16691278
his daughter is kinda qt ngl

>>16686251
You never see her swallow the food btw

>>16695342
Not Americans, blacks

>>16698108
there is no context missing it was a twitter thread and its really just
"open this can with a can opener or don't eat" and the kid could not figure it out because she's 4 so she didn't eat until like 4 that night and her reward was a can of beans. Is it the worst thing in the world as a parent? No. Is it very fucking dumb to brag about it on social media? Yes.

>>16691278
adorable girl

>>16690824
One wrong bit of wrist movement and its over

>>16699037
just don't make a mistake lol

>>16681197

>>16681197

>>16681197

>>16691278
Interesting, I didn't even know he had a daughter. The body language between her and his son suggests they might be fucking. Do you think Jack knows?

>>16699142
That kids presentation is total shit and the flames under his wok are no where near high enough to provide proper wok hei. China was a mistake.

>>16699154
>I didn't even know he had a daughter
He doesn't. He has two sons.

>>16699162
>That kids presentation is total shit and the flames under his wok are no where near high enough to provide proper wok hei. China was a mistake.
Pretentious whytoid you can't handle one mg of capcisin in your food and dare tell me that I make my food wrong?

>>16681296
>plate has 4 things
>can only eat the last one

>>16691853
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUn3gf-0VlY

does anyone have the webm/gif of the compilation of dirty indian street food, making dough with feet, sticking whole arms in soup and chutney??

>>16699862
Yes but you're posting some off topic anime bullshit.

>>16693541
no

>>16681197
It's not fall until the leaves start to turn color.

>>16686844
If he had boomer parents, he'd know how to use a can opener.

>>16692361
I don't know why, but this video without the edited parts makes me more uncomfortable than not

>>16693301
serrano ham is fucking delicious

>>16681197
>>16699959
I apologize to OP.
I looked outside and the leaves are changing color.

>>16681700
my head says no but my heart says make it and become the fat

>>16689104
>full course meal
sigh

>>16696017
where are her tits?

>>16699122
Wtf is in that thing? Ice cream? Rice?

>>16697834
Wow a 10 course meal comprised of things like apple and leaves all for the low price of $500? Gee, thanks.

>>16689294
What are you wanting anon?
>take a plate
>shit on it
>eat it and kill yourself you fucking pig

>>16681281
I just use a knife

>>16699152
Keksimus Maximus

>>16685406
FUCKING KEK

>>16686265
damn, is this the burguer king i've been hearing about lately?

>>16697904
his arm twitches to pull it down, damn

>>16695469
How is learning how to take care of yourself at a young age a "shit youth"?

>>16681700
Why is a green goblin baking?

>>16685377
Now there's a face I haven't seen in a long time

>>16695997
Why does molten metal look so good bros?

>>16685403
They werent talking about the taste or how it looks you fucking imbecile. Why the fuck are americans so truly retarded?

>>16700338
I was going to look up the menu to prove you wrong but I couldnt find the restaurant. But I assure you theres probably pheasant, reindeer, some fish or steak, these type of meals will have multiple "main" courses.

>>16695283
>>16696158

same, i didnt know what i was looking at and for a sec i thought it was jack cutting into a completely raw piece of meat that was somehow charred on the outside.

>>16694365
what the fuck

>>16699152
fuckin stupid ass robot

>>16700855
>Eat beans or die
>Taking care of yourself

?

>>16701153
>the indulgence of eating a cracking [third world sloppa] is like a great hamburger
I simply disagreed with this sentiment. You fucking imbecile.