/ck/ - Food & Cooking

>>16575036
If you swap out one of the letters of his name you'll know why I don't buy his products.

>>16575036
As a bee guy, I find his portrayal to be offensive. He probably doesn't know the first thing about apiculture.

>>16575047
But Anon, literally 100% of the profits go to charity.
https://newmansownfoundation.org/news-media/
Also Rare Musketeer Newman found.

>>16575036

The Newman who commissioned a pair of 400HP supercharged sleeper Volvo station wagons for himself and David Letterman:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3kW2Bt46VU

>>16575097
>>16575036
>>16575077
I always found this hilarous that each bottle is custom outfitted based on whatever cliche flavor it is

Roman Centurion Newman

Captain Newman

Archer Newman

Newman who is eager to paint you like one of his French girls.

>>16575137
That's British Navy Newman, also known as Limey Bastard Newman.

>>16575149
That's Swiss Newman, also known as Wilhelm Tell Newman.

>>16575118
>Cliché flavor

>>16575181
oops should be cliche outfit to the flavor

has any other brand ever done custom labels for various flavours?

>>16575163
Good to know, gotta collect'em all.
Here is Tropical Newman, AKA Newman Five-O

>>16575036
lmao I love this thread so much, I need more rare Newmans in my life

Comrade Newman

Mediterranean Pirate Newman

>>16575149
based and lindypilled

>>16575197
wtf is this shit? where is his outfit?

Sheriff Newman

>>16575197
>Comrade Newman
Nyet! You must have posted the wrong Newman, дpyг. Here is actual Soviet Newman.

>>16575218
S-sorry
>>16575218
Oh, fuck yeah

Stop making me want to start a fucking Newman's Own collection

I wish there was Newman lore for all of them.

>>16575047
Nerman?

Hermit Newman

>>16575250
Uhhhh hello based department?
but seriously if you found a way to get the label off safely, you could paste it in a scrapbook or some shit

>>16575250
Sounds based. Would you save them unopened, try them and save the empty or try them and only save the label?

>>16575248
based 2000 island

>>16575253
>I wish there was Newman lore for all of them.
I don't know which backstory I more prefer, either:
1. It's an extended Newman family spread out across the world through generations bearing an uncanny familiar resemblance
2. It's all the same Newman having mastered the secrets of time and space and gained immortality living various lives before moving on before the surrounding people grow suspicious

Casanova Newman

>>16575301
I would say unopened but after a few years the dressings or whatnot would probably get extremely nasty

>>16575248
>TWICE AS MANY ISLANDS AS ANY OTHER BRAND!

>>16575316
>INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH NEWMAN SAUCE

Cattle Rustler Newman

Renaissance Newman

>>16575316
hes a final fantasy protagonist who has mastered all the different job classes
he just swaps to different ones

Emperor Newman, not to be confused with KING Newman seen in the OP (note the different royal garb & crowns)

>>16575077
>guy who starred in the sting doesn't know about bees

>>16575274
I think that’s supposed to be Monet

>>16575424
That movie has nothing to do with bees. It's amazing the sort of false-advertising they were able to get away with back then.

>>16575425
Nice catch, I'm an knuckle-dragging Neanderthal.
Firefighter Newman

>>16575447
>preferred by 9/10 pigs
They don't even try to hide it.

>>16575316
>>16575397
All great ideas

>>16575447
Has anyone tried this?

George Newman

>>16575241
nice.

>>16575485
Y'know, 20 years later and the twin to the Afghanistan-India oil pipeline was never built, the oil well infrastructure in Kandahar is still dated and inefficient, and Afghanistan still never became a major supplier of oil to the US. I'm beginning to feel like the "oil war" thing was a distraction from the precious metal mining and general moneysink involved in maintaining an occupying military force as well as providing billions in humanitarian aid.

Pecos Newman

suddenly i want to collect these like pokemon cards

>>16575485
enter the Newman's own sweepstakes for a chance to win a WMD!

What did Newman mean by this?

>>16575119
ave, true to newman

>>16575047
Newoman. I'm with you bud. Fuck trannies.

>>16575509
For once in my life, I understand why my dad collected stamps. Just imagine a Newman's Own label-collecting catalogue with places to stick your collected labels alongside little neat factoids about the various sauces.

How's the raspberry walnut? sounds interesting.

>>16575447
Ok this one is me

>>16575274
Taliban Newman in the poppy fields.

>>16575036
roll

PGA Tour Professional Newman

>>16575513
Kek

>>16575513
edit it so the bat has buck teeth too

>>16575036

>>16575619
roll

>>16575619
rollin for bee guy

>>16575619
ninja newman pls

>>16575619
C'mon Italian Gondolier Newman.

>>16575619
Make way for the king baby

>>16575036
I have never seen Ninja Newman. There's no way that's real

>>16575668
https://www.amazon.com/Newmans-Own-Sesame-Ginger-Dressing/dp/B001A5VEOA
Anonymous, you've underestimated Newman's power.

>>16575316
having an affair while on a business trip to italy newman

>>16575695
Why does he have swords?

>>16575731
>Why does he have swords?
He's a shinobi, probably has some concealed kunai strapped to his ankles and smoke bombs at his waist too.

>>16575731
You've never heard of a ninjato?

>>16575316
He's just a cosplayer

>>16575047
paul newfag

>>16575731
he's a shinobi from the village of the hidden valley

>>16575047
Maul Newpans?

>>16575781
Many don't know this about little fact Japan's Warring States period, but the great conqueror Oda Nobunaga actually sought to destroy the ancient Nyuu-Man ninja clan but was tricked into attacking the Iga clan instead.

>>16575731
>>16575695
>teleports behind you
heh..... you're already dressed

>>16575619
roll

>>16575792
>the ancient Nyuu-Man clan
kek

>>16575781
Outstanding.

>>16575318
No, they age.

>>16575036
Their lemonade/limeade/pomegrenateade/youget the idea ade.

>>16575047
Newmap? What's your issue with cartography anon? Did your house break apart because your mom slept with a map maker?

>>16575918
Most cartographers get pissy at new maps, though.

>>16575619
Dubs is the firefighter

>>16575036
The ones that say "Ken's Steakhouse" on the label.

>>16576119
GET OUT AND NEVER SHOW NEWMAN YOUR FACE AGAIN.

>>16575097
Jewman kek

>>16575036
Ken's caesar dressing is hands down better than Newman's, It's like a zesty ranch turned up to 11.

>>16575346
That's just Butch Cassidy Newman. So that's more like an Outlaw Newman.

>>16575047
You have a problem with Newmau?

In terms of actual dressing taste, the classic balsamic vinagrette. In terms of costume, ninja

>>16575248
>2000 islands
n-nani?!

>>16575248
Skipper Newman

>>16575036
>100% profits to charity
What kind of business model is that? How the fr*ck do they keep cranking out product?

>>16576376
They run the charity.

>>16576376
Profits are calculated after expenses such as wages and salaries.

>>16575503
It was about sending 2 generations of virile patriotic american men into a meatgrinder, so as to take them out of the gene pool and leave behind wristlet cucks and cons00mer NPCs. Same as WW2

>>16575602
Arnold Palmer Newman

>>16575602
good god now they just need a vodka brand

>>16576376
All Profits to Charity doesn't mean that they keep 0 of the money, it keeps they don't keep any of the money made after what is required to keep company operations running. Also, the label saying that 100% of profits go to charity never happened until after Paul died because he disliked what he called "noisy philanthropy"

>Plantation Newman

>>16576484
Legit great lemonade, I have some in my fridge

>>16576484
>Virgin Lemonade
How lewd.

>>16576488
It just means it has less calories than regular lemonade

>>16576483
Paul was one of the few based hollyjew actors, miss him like you wouldn’t believe

that's a lot of cultural appropriation and racial stereotyping.
I didn't know Paul Newman was such a piece of shit

>>16575424
Lmao

>>16576366
it's actually gilligan's island newman

>>16575438
It's worse than that. He wasn't even a new man. He had been a man for years.

>>16575185
Parrot head Newman

>>16575137
>lime vinegarette
I've never seen that but it sounds quite nice.

>>16575253
>>16575316
Oh my God, there IS lore..
This gives new meaning to the phrase "Flavor Text".

>>16576925
>the theory that theres an extended family is confirmed
>paul newman is actually a warrior of light

>>16576925
>salad-tossing and cross-dressing
l-lewd

>>16575619
Let's go

>>16576376
100% of profits, not 100% of revenue.
retard

>>16575619
Rollin for ninja

>>16576347
just take a salad you... YOU... DOUBLE ISLAND

i know the whole thing is marketing hype and overpriced product meant to appeal to nimby assholes but i do like that balsamic dressing when i can catch it marked down.

>>16575036
I couldn’t believe the ninja Newman was real so I looked it up and not only is it real but this one seems to have been disappeared. Coof?

>>16577463
>Nimby
Can you stop using buzzwords you don't understand please, it's cringe.

>>16575619
rollin

>>16576562
Apparently the whole reason the company gives all profits to charity was because Paul Newman stared Newman's Own basically as a post-retirement hobby and when the money started flowing in he basically went "I'm already filthy rich so I don't really need all this money...I'll just give it to charities, at the very least it's a tax writeoff" and they actually stuck to that for for 40 years.

>>16577632
I guess someone at marketing said "maybe the fu manchu stache is a bit much", at least Ninja Newman it's just regular him in a costume.

>>16575619
Rollan

>>16575619
Rollex

>>16576925
>years of intermittent salad-tossing
I knew there was something odd about this sauce

>>16575619
roll

Bandito Newman

>>16578918
Ay-ay-ay

>>16578922
>the good, the bad, and the newman

>>16575316
>>16576925

>>16575248
WHEN WILL HE BE STOPPED?

good thread

>>16575047
Ha! Jew! Racism is so funny!

>>16578867
This is why you start with the buck teeth and rice hat, so then when you dial it back to fu manchu it seems a lot more restrained and sensible.

>>16575503
And destabilizing the region to weaken israel's enemies

>>16575619
rolling for kang newman

>>16575248
Epstein's secret island newman

>>16576484
>buck breaking Newman

>>16575185
Jimmy Buffet Newman

this is legit one of the best threads on /ck/ ive seen in a while. finally some decent shitposting

>>16575047
I will never understand the hate trannies have against white people

>>16579435
>sad and obese shitpost fodder newman

>>16579405
I didn't know religion was the same as race. Huh

>>16576925
for me its the Newman Culinary-matic Universe

could this fuckin boomer BE any more culturally appropriative?

>>16575274
>>16575568
someon shoop a hookah pipe

>>16575513
fucking lmao

>>16575568
The Taliban will go back to burning poppy fields like they did before America invaded. Now that they won the war they don't need the money anymore.

>>16575619
rolly polly

>>16575097
>Musketeer
>Italian

>>16575036
Balsamic vinaigrette

>>16575619
rolling

>>16575036
He was a kike

This is why I love /ck/
Fuck all the al/ck/ie and fast food threads, they aren’t even real al/ck/ie threads half of the time, it’s just Reddit as fuck beer threads

>>16575619
ctfuyh

>>16576925
Is this true?

>>16576235
But there is no fun face on the bottle

Did this guy put his name on some generic dressing?

>>16575619
Rolllling

>>16576925
>After 10 years of intermittent salad-tossing and cross-dressing
>10 years
jesus christ

>>16575149
>robin hood
>robin newman

>>16577379
With Hollywood accounting, there are only rarely any profits.

>>16575047
ewman?

>>16575619
I’m addicted to newmans

>>16581700
Neuman, as in Alfred E.

>>16575619
roll

>>16575619
.

>>16576583
<Coastie Cancel Culture Cunt has entered the chat>

>>16575619
Rollin Rollin Rollin
Rawhide

Gordon Newman

>>16575119

>>16575097
>https://newmansownfoundation.org/news-media/
I thought this was nice too until I found out it's just a series of private gated ranches where the wealthy can get tax write offs for playing with children without parents.

Brahma Bull Newman AKA Horny Newman

>>16575047
Newmag?

Can someone create a Klingon Newman for his line of Bloodwine flavored dressing?

>>16583318
Why not just make him a rabbi?

This guy is better at disguises than agent 47

edward newman

>>16575036
Anything that's essentially a deviation of "Italian Dressing" always fucking slaps from Newman's. If Oil and Vinegar are a base for it it's going to taste pretty good from that company.

>>16575619
Caesar Newman lets goooo

>>16575097
Profits are calculated after payroll.

>>16575097
Yeah, but their purveyors are owned by themselves and they pay ten times market value for their ingredients.

>>16584410
Quality ingredients cost more.

>>16584452
You did not hear what I said. They pay ten times the market value, QUALITY LEVEL IS INCLUDED IN ALL IMPLICATIONS OF "MARKET VALUE," for their ingredients.

>>16584462
>>16584452
Plus, they are definitely NOT using stellar quality ingredients. It's a fucking preserved product; there is no point.

>>16584392
A E S T H E T I C

If Newman was still alive he'd get the cohen brother's amnesty.

>>16575047
If Newman was still alive he'd get the cohen brothers amnesty.

>>16575036

>>16575036
Bee Keeper, Shakespare, and Italian Newman

>>16584462
This type of quality is priceless. You'd normally be trading favors for produce this good. Be more appreciative of what is being made available to you plebs. If the elites had their way, you wouldn't be coming near it.

I arrived a detractor due to the bland taste of Newman's Own but the marketing department has won me over. I want to collect these Newmans.

Uh oh

Daily dose newman

>>16584812
Thanks Doc.

>>16584772
Oh SHI-

>>16584812
thanks dr. newman

>>16579405
Still not as funny as the 41% chance of you being worm food by the age of 30.

Newman!'s Own

>>16584812
Those are really good though and only found them at thrifty food places.

>Ninja Newman is real
Wtf Newman is based?????

>>16575619
roll

>>16584812
These legitimately blow Oreos out of the fucking water

>>16575619
roll

>>16575619
roll

>>16575619
lets go

ENTER

FATHER OF NEWMAN

>>16585607
>NOT a Gluten-Free Product
Unashamed and unapologetic. Based.

>>16585607
I wonder if they have a feud with the Newtons, Hatfield–McCoy style.

>>16575619
roll

>>16576484
>weeelllllll

>>16575036
Caesar is his best work

>>16575619
Rolling

>>16575316
>I did not have sexual relations with that newman

>>16584812
What is his final plan?

>>16575619
ROLLING NEWMAN

>>16575619
Rolling for Fancy Shakespeare

>>16575619
rell

>>16575619
Show me the bees

>>16579405
Racism is privilege plus power

Christ killing kikes have so much power in the West that they force us to fund their terrorist ethnostate, so no, you can’t be racist towards them.

>>16586233
>Monica newmansky

>>16587545
Kek

>>16584812
Thanks, Newman.

>>16584975
that's funny because around here, literally the only place they're sold is at whole foods.

>>16575036
Schneed

>>16575619
roll

>>16575047

>>16575513
at least they toned it down from "Righten up preeze!"
that seemed a bit too far

>>16583637
Boxer faggot is best faggot.

>>16575463
it's good, but not that spicy

>>16581614
He's dressed as William Tell's son, you prat

>>16575619

>>16589828
it wasn't describing the sauce, it was describing newman

>>16590433

They actually ruined the ninja one this year. Sorry folks. He can only appropriate cultures from Europe for some odd reason, I wonder why.

>>16575619
They see me rollin THEY HATIN